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June 25, 2021, 01:26:11 am

Author Topic: Stressing over results and expectations  (Read 2013 times)

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XD12345

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Stressing over results and expectations
« on: December 13, 2020, 11:48:15 am »
The reason Iím on this forum is because everyone around me has accepted me getting into University as a done deal. I received the hardest academic award to achieve at my school which basically made my teachers, friends and family all say ďdonít worry you will get in.Ē I didnít do too amazing on my exams I think, and itís frustrating whenever someone says that me getting into my course is confirmed.

Whenever someone says ďdonít stress we all know youíre going to get in based on your performance.Ē I always respond with, ďnothing is confirmed, exam marks havenít been released and scaling still needs to be taken into account,Ē but even then, everyone just says Iím being paranoid. Itís actually getting to the point where my family is planning on throwing me a goodbye party since I would be studying in another city, this is nice yes, but itís making me panic and stress because I might not get in. Everyone has already prepared for me getting into my course and if I donít, I would feel extremely awkward and ashamed. Iíve desperately tried explaining that nothing is confirmed and that we shouldnít be making assumptions based on the INTERNAL assessments and everyone just brushes that off.

I do not want anyone saying, ďyouíre going to get in stop stressingĒ because they donít understand that my exams didnít go too amazing, and that some of them count towards 50% of my raw score. I went into the exams with,
59/75
50/50
50/50
38/50
71/75
65/75
These are good internal marks and they do give me a great start, but if I didnít do too well on my exams, I might still rank pretty low.

Basically,

What can I do??? I canít wait another 6 days because people are already acting like I got in. A bunch of other acquaintances of mine (who got early offers) are also asking me to join them as a roommates, and my teachers have already said goodbye to me and said that I will have a great time moving to the city, when I HAVE NOT even gotten in yet.

If I open my email from qtac next Saturday, and didnít get a good enough score, every single person around me will probably be confused and disappointed. My year coordinator has told me that she will be up at 9am ready to check my atar too because sheís excited to see where my hard work has gotten me.

Donít get me wrong, I worked like crazy this year, 3 hours every day, 6 hours leading up to exams, but I had a couple questions on the exam where I just completely screwed up, I got confused and that is 100% my fault. But since everyone saw my internal marks and saw me working hard, me getting into my course isnít even a question, even though I constantly correct them.
I always hear ďwhen you are studying blah blah at university,Ē and I always correct them to saying, ďif you study...Ē

Does anyone know what I should do?

My entire circle around me has accepted that I will get in!

What can I tell them???

Ps: sorry for the long post, I donít know where else to go because whenever I talk to someone about my concerns all I get is, ďYou are just stressing, donít worry, when you get in youíll see there was nothing to worry about.Ē Itís causing me to stress so much and Iíve been so distracted that I actually suffered a workplace injury (burned a massive hole into myself). Now Iím on bed rest and Iíve been running all these scenarios on what I will do and how I will tell people that I didnít get in. If I tell them I didnít get in, theyíll probably think Iím trying to prank them, which is going to make it all worse.


What do I do? How do you personally cope with stress? Iíve been counting down the hours until ATAR releases and itís getting really bad for my health, I canít sleep before 2am anymore! (I need 77, and 75 for my fall back course)-I know that this isnít something in the 90ís, but I think I kind of bombed my exams so reaching this atar might be harder than expected for me.

Side Note- I wasnít born in Australia, Iím from a country where having a university degree is kind of mandatory (in my family at least), so this is adding to the stress.

XD12345

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Re: Stressing over results and expectations
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2020, 12:00:25 pm »
The reason Iím on this forum is because everyone around me has accepted me getting into University as a done deal. I received the hardest academic award to achieve at my school which basically made my teachers, friends and family all say ďdonít worry you will get in.Ē I didnít do too amazing on my exams I think, and itís frustrating whenever someone says that me getting into my course is confirmed.

Whenever someone says ďdonít stress we all know youíre going to get in based on your performance.Ē I always respond with, ďnothing is confirmed, exam marks havenít been released and scaling still needs to be taken into account,Ē but even then, everyone just says Iím being paranoid. Itís actually getting to the point where my family is planning on throwing me a goodbye party since I would be studying in another city, this is nice yes, but itís making me panic and stress because I might not get in. Everyone has already prepared for me getting into my course and if I donít, I would feel extremely awkward and ashamed. Iíve desperately tried explaining that nothing is confirmed and that we shouldnít be making assumptions based on the INTERNAL assessments and everyone just brushes that off.

I do not want anyone saying, ďyouíre going to get in stop stressingĒ because they donít understand that my exams didnít go too amazing, and that some of them count towards 50% of my raw score. I went into the exams with,
59/75
50/50
50/50
38/50
71/75
65/75
These are good internal marks and they do give me a great start, but if I didnít do too well on my exams, I might still rank pretty low.

Basically,

What can I do??? I canít wait another 6 days because people are already acting like I got in. A bunch of other acquaintances of mine (who got early offers) are also asking me to join them as a roommates, and my teachers have already said goodbye to me and said that I will have a great time moving to the city, when I HAVE NOT even gotten in yet.

If I open my email from qtac next Saturday, and didnít get a good enough score, every single person around me will probably be confused and disappointed. My year coordinator has told me that she will be up at 9am ready to check my atar too because sheís excited to see where my hard work has gotten me.

Donít get me wrong, I worked like crazy this year, 3 hours every day, 6 hours leading up to exams, but I had a couple questions on the exam where I just completely screwed up, I got confused and that is 100% my fault. But since everyone saw my internal marks and saw me working hard, me getting into my course isnít even a question, even though I constantly correct them.
I always hear ďwhen you are studying blah blah at university,Ē and I always correct them to saying, ďif you study...Ē

Does anyone know what I should do?

My entire circle around me has accepted that I will get in!

What can I tell them???

Ps: sorry for the long post, I donít know where else to go because whenever I talk to someone about my concerns all I get is, ďYou are just stressing, donít worry, when you get in youíll see there was nothing to worry about.Ē Itís causing me to stress so much and Iíve been so distracted that I actually suffered a workplace injury (burned a massive hole into myself). Now Iím on bed rest and Iíve been running all these scenarios on what I will do and how I will tell people that I didnít get in. If I tell them I didnít get in, theyíll probably think Iím trying to prank them, which is going to make it all worse.


What do I do? How do you personally cope with stress? Iíve been counting down the hours until ATAR releases and itís getting really bad for my health, I canít sleep before 2am anymore! (I need 77, and 75 for my fall back course)-I know that this isnít something in the 90ís, but I think I kind of bombed my exams so reaching this atar might be harder than expected for me.

Side Note- I wasnít born in Australia, Iím from a country where having a university degree is kind of mandatory (in my family at least), so this is adding to the stress.

I just realised how much I actually typed...wow... Iím sorry for this massive rant but I really just want some answers on how to deal with this stress from people who can understand by situation.

Natasack

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Re: Stressing over results and expectations
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2020, 12:25:46 pm »
Could you explain what your internal marks mean? They can't be ranks, if you said you did well? I am from NSW and for us the most important internal mark is a rank.
The average ATAR is 70, so if you were doing really well internally, you should be able to get high 70s.
As for your family, I understand they are putting too much pressure on you, but at least they are stirring you in the right direction. Hang in there, only a few days to go  ;)

Bri MT

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Re: Stressing over results and expectations
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2020, 12:36:31 pm »
Hey,

I can't relate to the cultural expectations side of things but in a lot of other ways I can relate to the academic pressures. Since year 7 people had been predicting I would be dux and in the end I did dux all of my subjects but the weight of pressure from others always expecting the you to perform at a level you don't know if you're going to perform at is a lot and it can be very isolating.

Other people see themselves as supporting and uplifting you through their belief but I know it can just feel like another weight of pressure. I was scared and stressed at the idea that I might not meet my expectations and/or the expectations of others and then even though I did well I was still worried about it not being as well as I could've/should've/might've done.

Based on what you've described I think that if you do fail to get into your chosen course then people will be disappointed, but disappointed for you rather than disappointed at you. They've seen the work you've done. They've seen how you tried. You have done what you can and it wouldn't make sense for anyone think negatively of you if despite your efforts you don't end up where you would like. 

If you don't get in, remember that there are other pathways and options available. It does seem very likely you will get in (it's a lot easier to focus on the negatives and amplify those but it seems like you're on track to meet your ATAR goals) however as you've said no one can guarantee this.

I don't know your friends/family but I think that whatever you say you're unlikely to convince them you won't get in. If you want them to speak about it less you might be better off talking about the emotion side / directly asking e.g. "Thank you for the confidence you have in me but I've spent my whole year focusing on this and talking about the ATAR stresses me out. I'd rather focus on other things when [at x event type / talking to you ]" 

The final thing I'm going to say here is that on the stress-management side you might want to look into grounding tactics/tools for if you're getting a bit overwhelmed, try to distract yourself with other things, and try to cut-off any catastrophising. There's lots of info online on this type of thing but you could also reach out to a service like headspace to talk to a mental health professional about coping strategies.

I just realised how much I actually typed...wow... Iím sorry for this massive rant but I really just want some answers on how to deal with this stress from people who can understand by situation.


Seriously no need to apologise at all. Yeah, a lot of us here have had similar experiences with having a lot of academic pressure; I don't know if you've read any of the VCE or HSC journals but it comes up all the time in there.


Hopefully you can take something helpful from my spiel, fingers-crossed for you.



Could you explain what your internal marks mean? They can't be ranks, if you said you did well? I am from NSW and for us the most important internal mark is a rank.
The average ATAR is 70, so if you were doing really well internally, you should be able to get high 70s.
As for your family, I understand they are putting too much pressure on you, but at least they are stirring you in the right direction. Hang in there, only a few days to go  ;)

QCE doesn't do a ranking within schools system - the internal mark you get is the internal mark you get.

XD12345

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Re: Stressing over results and expectations
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2020, 02:11:12 pm »
Could you explain what your internal marks mean? They can't be ranks, if you said you did well? I am from NSW and for us the most important internal mark is a rank.
The average ATAR is 70, so if you were doing really well internally, you should be able to get high 70s.
As for your family, I understand they are putting too much pressure on you, but at least they are stirring you in the right direction. Hang in there, only a few days to go  ;)


Atar is a rank, not a score, so when I say Ďhow I will rank,í I mean Ďwhat will my atar beí

The internal marks are just our internal assessments. Our internal marks are 75% and exams are worth the other 25%, except for maths and science subjects, where the exam is worth 50%.

XD12345

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Re: Stressing over results and expectations
« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2020, 02:13:43 pm »
Hey,

I can't relate to the cultural expectations side of things but in a lot of other ways I can relate to the academic pressures. Since year 7 people had been predicting I would be dux and in the end I did dux all of my subjects but the weight of pressure from others always expecting the you to perform at a level you don't know if you're going to perform at is a lot and it can be very isolating.

Other people see themselves as supporting and uplifting you through their belief but I know it can just feel like another weight of pressure. I was scared and stressed at the idea that I might not meet my expectations and/or the expectations of others and then even though I did well I was still worried about it not being as well as I could've/should've/might've done.

Based on what you've described I think that if you do fail to get into your chosen course then people will be disappointed, but disappointed for you rather than disappointed at you. They've seen the work you've done. They've seen how you tried. You have done what you can and it wouldn't make sense for anyone think negatively of you if despite your efforts you don't end up where you would like. 

If you don't get in, remember that there are other pathways and options available. It does seem very likely you will get in (it's a lot easier to focus on the negatives and amplify those but it seems like you're on track to meet your ATAR goals) however as you've said no one can guarantee this.

I don't know your friends/family but I think that whatever you say you're unlikely to convince them you won't get in. If you want them to speak about it less you might be better off talking about the emotion side / directly asking e.g. "Thank you for the confidence you have in me but I've spent my whole year focusing on this and talking about the ATAR stresses me out. I'd rather focus on other things when [at x event type / talking to you ]" 

The final thing I'm going to say here is that on the stress-management side you might want to look into grounding tactics/tools for if you're getting a bit overwhelmed, try to distract yourself with other things, and try to cut-off any catastrophising. There's lots of info online on this type of thing but you could also reach out to a service like headspace to talk to a mental health professional about coping strategies.

Seriously no need to apologise at all. Yeah, a lot of us here have had similar experiences with having a lot of academic pressure; I don't know if you've read any of the VCE or HSC journals but it comes up all the time in there.


Hopefully you can take something helpful from my spiel, fingers-crossed for you.



QCE doesn't do a ranking within schools system - the internal mark you get is the internal mark you get.

Thank you for your kind response. Whatís another entrance way into uni? I know about the international baccalaureate. That takes two years and you can do them at a local uni or tafe I think. Are there other ways?

Natasack

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Re: Stressing over results and expectations
« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2020, 02:52:36 pm »

Atar is a rank, not a score, so when I say Ďhow I will rank,í I mean Ďwhat will my atar beí

The internal marks are just our internal assessments. Our internal marks are 75% and exams are worth the other 25%, except for maths and science subjects, where the exam is worth 50%.
That is even better for you if internals are 75% in some subjects. In NSW is 50-50 for all subjects.
As Bri MT said, we need to try not to catastrophize and focus only on the things that were difficult. I am sure you did better than you think. However, for the piece of mind try to find a back up courses that will eventually lead you to where you want to be. For example, in Sydney, it's really hard to get into undergraduate physiotherapy, but much easier into Bachelor of Exercise Science, which can upon completion be followed by Master of Physiotherapy. This would take 5 years instead of undergraduate 4, but would lead to full registration as a physiotherapist.   
« Last Edit: December 13, 2020, 02:59:31 pm by Natasack »

Bri MT

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Re: Stressing over results and expectations
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2020, 03:24:38 pm »
Thank you for your kind response. Whatís another entrance way into uni? I know about the international baccalaureate. That takes two years and you can do them at a local uni or tafe I think. Are there other ways?

No worries!

IB is basically a QCE/VCE/HSC alternative so that's probably not ideal. Similarly you could repeat some QCE subjects again so you only had one more year (your most recent subject score is used for ATAR calculations if you've studied a subject more than once)

Your pathways depend a lot on what course you want to get into but common things are:
- going into a different course or studying at a different uni (that's easier to get into) then transferring
- going into an course that's easier to enter then doing a relevant postgraduate course (like Natasack's example)
- using a bridging program

The specifics of what are available can vary a lot between unis and courses but I remember you being interested in QUT (I think for your backup course) so for QUT some options are:
- increasing your selection rank through additional tests and/or study  (your selection rank is your ATAR + any subject bonuses + any adjustments from other qualifications, EAS etc. )
- going into a 1 year cert then bachelor program

https://www.qut.edu.au/study/applying/helping-you-get-into-your-course
https://www.qut.edu.au/study/applying/vet-study

You could talk to QUT about their options and they would be happy to help you https://www.qut.edu.au/study/events/real-decisions

Feel free as well to start a new thread explaining what your goals are & asking about pathways if you want. It's just hard to give specific advice without that info

The Cat In The Hat

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Re: Stressing over results and expectations
« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2020, 04:17:12 pm »
The reason Iím on this forum is because everyone around me has accepted me getting into University as a done deal. I received the hardest academic award to achieve at my school which basically made my teachers, friends and family all say ďdonít worry you will get in.Ē I didnít do too amazing on my exams I think, and itís frustrating whenever someone says that me getting into my course is confirmed.

Whenever someone says ďdonít stress we all know youíre going to get in based on your performance.Ē I always respond with, ďnothing is confirmed, exam marks havenít been released and scaling still needs to be taken into account,Ē but even then, everyone just says Iím being paranoid. Itís actually getting to the point where my family is planning on throwing me a goodbye party since I would be studying in another city, this is nice yes, but itís making me panic and stress because I might not get in. Everyone has already prepared for me getting into my course and if I donít, I would feel extremely awkward and ashamed. Iíve desperately tried explaining that nothing is confirmed and that we shouldnít be making assumptions based on the INTERNAL assessments and everyone just brushes that off.

I do not want anyone saying, ďyouíre going to get in stop stressingĒ because they donít understand that my exams didnít go too amazing, and that some of them count towards 50% of my raw score. I went into the exams with,
59/75
50/50
50/50
38/50
71/75
65/75
These are good internal marks and they do give me a great start, but if I didnít do too well on my exams, I might still rank pretty low.

Basically,

What can I do??? I canít wait another 6 days because people are already acting like I got in. A bunch of other acquaintances of mine (who got early offers) are also asking me to join them as a roommates, and my teachers have already said goodbye to me and said that I will have a great time moving to the city, when I HAVE NOT even gotten in yet.

If I open my email from qtac next Saturday, and didnít get a good enough score, every single person around me will probably be confused and disappointed. My year coordinator has told me that she will be up at 9am ready to check my atar too because sheís excited to see where my hard work has gotten me.

Donít get me wrong, I worked like crazy this year, 3 hours every day, 6 hours leading up to exams, but I had a couple questions on the exam where I just completely screwed up, I got confused and that is 100% my fault. But since everyone saw my internal marks and saw me working hard, me getting into my course isnít even a question, even though I constantly correct them.
I always hear ďwhen you are studying blah blah at university,Ē and I always correct them to saying, ďif you study...Ē

Does anyone know what I should do?

My entire circle around me has accepted that I will get in!

What can I tell them???

Ps: sorry for the long post, I donít know where else to go because whenever I talk to someone about my concerns all I get is, ďYou are just stressing, donít worry, when you get in youíll see there was nothing to worry about.Ē Itís causing me to stress so much and Iíve been so distracted that I actually suffered a workplace injury (burned a massive hole into myself). Now Iím on bed rest and Iíve been running all these scenarios on what I will do and how I will tell people that I didnít get in. If I tell them I didnít get in, theyíll probably think Iím trying to prank them, which is going to make it all worse.


What do I do? How do you personally cope with stress? Iíve been counting down the hours until ATAR releases and itís getting really bad for my health, I canít sleep before 2am anymore! (I need 77, and 75 for my fall back course)-I know that this isnít something in the 90ís, but I think I kind of bombed my exams so reaching this atar might be harder than expected for me.

Side Note- I wasnít born in Australia, Iím from a country where having a university degree is kind of mandatory (in my family at least), so this is adding to the stress.
Note: you're not alone in this. Several people I know have done pretty much the same thing for me, where I look at the maths of it and see that ain't gonna happen (our results are on the 30th), and I have these tips:
-Try not to think about it, but do other things/fill your time as much as possible with other things, especially being active/working on specific goals
-If you're too tense, try breathing deeply, and to relax, when you're breathing out picture it as if you're sinking into the floor with each exhale (I got advised this and found it useful)
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Re: Stressing over results and expectations
« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2020, 05:42:48 pm »
Hi XD12345!

I'm sorry that you have been feeling this way, I know how horrible it is. I am experiencing the same pressures as you. I also performed well on my internals. I received dux of physics, psychology and biology and ended up being the dux of my cohort as well. Just like you, people have been expecting me to do really well. I've been told by people all year that they think I'm going to get a 99+, but that is just unrealistic. And just like you, when I tell people that I am stressed and concerned, they shut my feelings down and tell me that I need to stop being paranoid. I really do not feel confident about the externals.
I understand what you are going through and I'm really sorry that you have been experiencing this.

I really do love what Bri said and want to reiterate it: "people will be disappointed, but disappointed for you rather than disappointed at you."
Reading this has really eased a lot of my anxiety. I'm not so worried about disappointing myself, but something that has been making me feel sick is the idea of disappointing others. But, I really do love what Bri said and I think it is important to keep in mind.

There are also many ways to get into uni, so try not to stress too much :) I know this can be hard to do. If you aren't able to start semester one, then you can always try to apply again in semester two. Also, many people go through TAFE first if they don't get into uni straight out of high school. Some ways of getting into uni will take longer than others, but there is always a way in. Bri has highlighted some good ways of getting into uni.

For me, another thing that has helped is separating your idea of "self" from your ATAR. I have been reminding myself over the past couple of weeks that my ATAR does not determine my intelligence (whether I get a 99+ or a 40, it doesn't matter). Your self-worth and ATAR are mutually dependent. Constantly reminding myself of this when I start to overthink has helped me.

I hope you find some peace of mind and best wishes for Saturday :)
- Katelyn
QCE 2020: Physics (92) || Psychology (96) || Biology (93) || Methods (79) || English (98) || SOR (91)
ATAR: 98.40
2021-2024: Bachelor of Advanced Science (Honours) @ UQ

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XD12345

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Re: Stressing over results and expectations
« Reply #10 on: December 14, 2020, 08:13:18 pm »
Hi XD12345!

I'm sorry that you have been feeling this way, I know how horrible it is. I am experiencing the same pressures as you. I also performed well on my internals. I received dux of physics, psychology and biology and ended up being the dux of my cohort as well. Just like you, people have been expecting me to do really well. I've been told by people all year that they think I'm going to get a 99+, but that is just unrealistic. And just like you, when I tell people that I am stressed and concerned, they shut my feelings down and tell me that I need to stop being paranoid. I really do not feel confident about the externals.
I understand what you are going through and I'm really sorry that you have been experiencing this.

I really do love what Bri said and want to reiterate it: "people will be disappointed, but disappointed for you rather than disappointed at you."
Reading this has really eased a lot of my anxiety. I'm not so worried about disappointing myself, but something that has been making me feel sick is the idea of disappointing others. But, I really do love what Bri said and I think it is important to keep in mind.

There are also many ways to get into uni, so try not to stress too much :) I know this can be hard to do. If you aren't able to start semester one, then you can always try to apply again in semester two. Also, many people go through TAFE first if they don't get into uni straight out of high school. Some ways of getting into uni will take longer than others, but there is always a way in. Bri has highlighted some good ways of getting into uni.

For me, another thing that has helped is separating your idea of "self" from your ATAR. I have been reminding myself over the past couple of weeks that my ATAR does not determine my intelligence (whether I get a 99+ or a 40, it doesn't matter). Your self-worth and ATAR are mutually dependent. Constantly reminding myself of this when I start to overthink has helped me.

I hope you find some peace of mind and best wishes for Saturday :)
- Katelyn

Hi Katelyn,

Thanks for your response! Iíve been stressing over everyone expecting me to get a 77, I canít imagine what it must be like having people expect a solid 99+

Yea itís very anxiety inducing and stressful, I think lots of students are slowly panicking. With all the build-up to year 12, itís hard to understand that self worth goes beyond your atar, but I will remember that whenever I stress.


Natasack

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Re: Stressing over results and expectations
« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2020, 03:04:38 pm »
Hi Katelyn,

Thanks for your response! Iíve been stressing over everyone expecting me to get a 77, I canít imagine what it must be like having people expect a solid 99+

Yea itís very anxiety inducing and stressful, I think lots of students are slowly panicking. With all the build-up to year 12, itís hard to understand that self worth goes beyond your atar, but I will remember that whenever I stress.
Hi XD12345,
How did you go?

XD12345

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Re: Stressing over results and expectations
« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2020, 03:05:44 pm »
Hi XD12345,
How did you go?

I got into the 90ís :)

Natasack

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Re: Stressing over results and expectations
« Reply #13 on: December 19, 2020, 03:23:54 pm »
I got into the 90ís :)
Congratulations!!!!