Feedback on year 10 oral presentation

[Natnael.G]

Some feedback on my oral presentation would be greatly appreciated. By the way, its my first oral presentation.

Why the driving age should be raised

Introduction - Picture this, teenagers finally gifted with freedom and the right to drive a car and starts their journey into adulthood happy and ready to face the world however there's a twist. Their life unintentionally and and sadly cut short due to their lack of experience in driving. The sad reality is that there are thousands of cases like this one annually around the world. Driving has been an essential part of society and our lives, granting us the ability to travel from point A to point B quickly and efficiently. Driving for teens has its pros and cons, however in general, the cons outweigh the pros greatly and this is due to many factors ranging from their lack of experience to their low level of emotional maturity as teens. So today I will be talking you about why the driving age limit should be increased and show you all my perspective on the issue.

Argument 1 - Young drivers under 18 are more susceptible to car accidents and fatalities.

Teens lack a great amount of experience in driving and plus their level of maturity is pretty low and with these two facts it’s no coincidence why 45 percent of young Australians deaths are caused by traffic crashes. According to statistics analysed by dailymail.co, men aged from 17 to 20 account for just 3 % of the countries drivers but 33 % of the convictions for dangerous driving. They are also ten times more likely to be killed than more experienced drivers and five times more likely to cause a casualty. These statistics emphasise the fact that the young drivers are more susceptible to car accidents and fatalities and armed with this information, it’s pure common sense to simply raise the driving age limit to prevent such casualties and unnecessary deaths to occur.


Argument 2 - The brain of a teenager is not fully developed and matured and so not giving them the decision making skills and experience required for driving.

It does not matter how smart teens are, common sense will always be something not fully developed within them. The logical part of the brain in a teenager is not yet fully developed until the age of 25 or 30. Adults use their prefrontal cortex, the brains logical part, which responds to situations logically and with good judgment. Teens, however, process information with their amygdala, the emotion part of the brain, that is responsible for what we feel. From this piece of information, we can see that young drivers under the age of 20 are not generally not suited to drive due to their undeveloped decision making skills, emotional maturity and experience which can explain the reason why many more teen drivers get injured and even die compared to adults drivers.


Rebuttal 1 - It limits transportation options.

Not driving during teenage years does not necessarily limit your transportation opportunities as there are many more safer and efficient ways of travelling nowadays. Public transport including trains, busses and so on for example has very slim risks and casualty rates and are known for their efficiency and experienced drivers whose careers are literally dedicated to transport people from point a to b. Sure, it sometimes can be pricy for teens though, above all, it’s more important travelling safely compared to a teen driving risking their lives every time they move from place to place.


Conclusion - Driving has been such a gift to society and our lives however, it has come with a cost: to be mature, logically sharp and experienced. Sadly, teenagers cannot pay for this gift yet, in other worlds, teens lack the skills, level of maturity and experience necessary to drive. So please, consider the facts and pure logic behind why driving is not yet fully suitable for teenagers and think to yourself, Should the driving age be raised.

[Bri MT]

Some feedback on my oral presentation would be greatly appreciated. By the way, its my first oral presentation.
You've done well, especially for your first oral presentation

Why the driving age should be raised

Introduction - Picture this, teenagers finally gifted with freedom and the right to drive a car and starts their journey into adulthood happy and ready to face the world however there's a twist.Starting with visualisation, hook. Nice Their life unintentionally and and sadly cut short due to their lack of experience in driving Please provide a more direct connection as to how lack of experience leads to death. The sad reality is that there are thousands of cases like this one annuallythis is a good word to place emphasis on, or to swap it with a more accessible/less jargon-y word/phrase. eg. "every. single. year." "per YEAR" around the world. Driving has been an essential part of society and our lives, granting us the ability to travel from point A to point B quickly and efficiently.I get that you're trying to acknowledge the counter argument, but this feels a bit confused Driving for teens has its pros and cons, however in general, the cons outweigh the pros greatly and this is due to many factors ranging from their lack of experience to their low level of emotional maturity as teens. So today I will be talking you about why the driving age limit should be increased and show you all my perspective on the issue.

Argument 1 - Young drivers under 18 are more susceptible to car accidents and fatalities.

Teens lack a great amount of experience in driving and plus pick and or plus. having both is just redundent their level of maturity is pretty low and with these two facts it’s no coincidence why why is the word why here? 45 percent of young Australians deaths are caused by traffic crashesstats are good, they give you more credibility. According to statistics analysed by dailymail.cociting sources is good, men aged from 17 to 20 account for just 3 % of the countries drivers but 33 % of the convictions for dangerous driving. They are also ten times more likely to be killed than more experienced drivers and five times more likely to cause a casualty. These statistics emphasise the fact that the"the" doesn't need to be here young drivers are more susceptible to car accidents and fatalities and consider starting a new sentence armed with this information, it’s pure common sense to simply raise the driving age limit to prevent such casualties casualties is a bit of an emotionally "meh" word, try using more emotive language such as "tragedies" and unnecessary deaths to occur.


Argument 2 - The brain of a teenager is not fully developed and matured and so not giving them the decision making skills and experience required for driving.

It does not matter how smart teens are, common sense will always be something not fully developed within them. The logical part of the brain in a teenager is not yet fully developed until the age of 25 or 30. Adults use their prefrontal cortex, the brains logical part, which responds to situations logically and with good judgment. Teens, however, process information with their amygdala, the emotion part of the brain, that is responsible for what we feel. From this piece of information, we can see that young drivers under the age of 20 are not generally not suited to drive due to their undeveloped decision making skills, emotional maturity and experience you talked about experience early but not with "this piece of information" this is mainly just me being a pedant, but reconsider your wording here which can explain the reason why many more teen drivers get injured and even die compared to adults drivers.


Rebuttal 1 - It limits transportation options.

Not driving during teenage years does not necessarily limit your transportation opportunities as there are many more safer and efficient ways of travelling nowadays. Public transport including trains, busses and so on for example has very slim risks and casualty rates I'd love some stats, metaphors or expert opinion here to help me believe you and are known for their efficiency and experienced drivers whose careers are literally dedicated to transport people from point a to b nice,  when speaking it would be good to also change your voice for emphasis of this being their literal career. Sure, it sometimes can be pricy is it pricy compared to fuel, parking, rego etc?for teens though, above all, it’s more important travelling safely compared to a teen driving risking their lives every time they move from place to place.


Conclusion - Driving has been such a gift to society and our lives however, it has come with a costconsider how you're using the word "cost" here: to be mature, logically sharp and experienced. Sadly, teenagers cannot pay for this gift yet, in other worlds, teens lack the skills, level of maturity and experience necessary to drive. So please, consider the facts and pure logic behind why driving is not yet fully suitable for teenagers and think to yourself, Should the driving age be raised




Hope this helps

[Natnael.G]

Thank you so much for the constructive criticism