English Advanced Question Thread

[Never.Give.Up]

Thanks Owidjaja and Mada438,

I've actually been mentioning my characters in my intro! I'm so glad you guys brought this up since i had no idea that we aren't supposed to. With that being said, i'm a bit confused with how to write my intro now.

Any advice on how to fix up my intro would be amazing

An individual’s self-identity can be shaped by the crucial process of discovering confronting socio-political issues. This provides them with a new understanding of their self-identity and reveal their true values and purpose in life. The memoir, The Motorcycle Diaries (TMD) by Che Guevara reflects this sentiment, with Che’s discoveries of inequality in South America the catalyst to his developing revolutionary identity. Similarly, in the feature film, The Help directed by Tate Taylor, Skeeter’s discoveries of the injustices faced by the African-American members of her community is the impetus to her role in exposing the true nature of discrimination in Mississippi. For both Che and Skeeter, this process is vital in developing their previously concealed revolutionary beliefs. Both texts demonstrate the pivotal role of socio-political discoveries in developing and affirming an individual’s sense of self.

Hey Lilabear123
A strong structure for an introduction is:
1. Thesis Statement Outline your personal response to question. I'm guessing this is yours? "An individual’s self-identity can be shaped by the crucial process of discovering confronting socio-political issues."
2. Expand. This means that you further explain the concepts within your thesis statement. Could be what you already have, "This provides them with a new understanding of their self-identity and reveal their true values and purpose in life. "
3. Texts. Introduce your texts and their authors- can also explain the relevance of your question/thesis to their texts purpose....So for example, "Che Guevara's memoir, The Motorcycle Diaries (TMD) and Tate Taylor's feature film The Help both convey discoveries that reveal how ideological discrepancies develop individual identities." Or something like that (I don't study these texts so don't really know the context sorry...)
4. Arguments. What ideas are you discussing in your essay- list them here... (get these points from the rubric in relation to ideas within your texts- again, I'm sorry I don't have any ideas here)
5. Link to thesis. This is optional, however it reinforces your ideas, thus creating a stronger introduction. Basically, how are your ideas derived from your thesis, if you know what I mean

Hopefully this helps in some small way- I am also far from an English guru you have most of the ideas, it is just about restructuring now...
Good luck!!

[Lilabear123]

Thanks so much guys, your feedback is super helpful So glad i learn't all this before my exam on Monday

Also, the question was: "The process and experience of discoveries is pivotal to an individual’s self-identity." Discuss this in relation to The Motorcycle Diaries and one other text.

However i did base this essay off a previous essay about perception, so good guess!

[Twety]

Hi, I am a year 12 student and this is the first time I am posting something on the ATARnotes. I am struggling with my advanced english and really disappointment. So far my marks for the last two essay's we have done in class have been 11/15 and now this one being 10/20. I am really struggling and have found the problem to be in memorising the essays. I am able to write an A+ range essay before hand but can never memorise it and then in the exam condition, my brain freezes. I really need some help and feel as if I have failed my HSC and won't b able to attain my Atar of 80 above. All my subjects have a really low scailing so unless i get around 85 total in each, I wont be able to have a good atar . The rest of my advanced english class are doing great except me . If suppose I can score A+ range responses in the trails and HSC final exams, will be atar be good?

 I don't know I may sound so stupid right now but I am literally bursting with questions and don't know anything.  Please help me. I really want to work hard.


-Upset year 12 Student

[elysepopplewell]

Hi, I am a year 12 student and this is the first time I am posting something on the ATARnotes. I am struggling with my advanced english and really disappointment. So far my marks for the last two essay's we have done in class have been 11/15 and now this one being 10/20. I am really struggling and have found the problem to be in memorising the essays. I am able to write an A+ range essay before hand but can never memorise it and then in the exam condition, my brain freezes. I really need some help and feel as if I have failed my HSC and won't b able to attain my Atar of 80 above. All my subjects have a really low scailing so unless i get around 85 total in each, I wont be able to have a good atar . The rest of my advanced english class are doing great except me . If suppose I can score A+ range responses in the trails and HSC final exams, will be atar be good?

 I don't know I may sound so stupid right now but I am literally bursting with questions and don't know anything.  Please help me. I really want to work hard.


-Upset year 12 Student

Hey Twety!

Firstly, you've come to the right place. Congratulations on making your first post, it's great to have you here.
Secondly, you're asking important questions. You've evidently analysed your experience in English and you've noticed where your downfall sits. So that's a big first step.
Thirdly, don't stress about scaling at this point. Your subjects are chosen, and no matter if they were high scaling or low scaling, the only way to guarantee to make yourself proud in the end is to give it your all, despite the scaling. So this isn't a situation of "you've made your bed now lay in it." It's more like, "You've made your bed, so invite all of us on ATAR Notes over for a slumber party in it." I'm saying you can't change your selection of subjects, but you can make the most of it from here.
Now, with the advice.The great news is that you can wrote strong essays. If you can write them really well when you have time on your hands, a stress-free environment, and the comfort of not being in an exam room, then that's a good place to start. I wonder if you're putting too much focus on memorising it word for word, or line by line, when you'd be more successful memorising quotes and understanding the way it all kind of fits together, without focusing on that exact wording? I had a classmate who would go into a red rash if she couldn't think of what her prepared next sentence was. My approach was more "Know the first sentence completely off by heart for each paragraph for piece of mind, and then have your quotes memorised, and then just know and understand, as opposed to memorise verbatim, how your analysis fits in. And i think this is the key for adjusting to the question in the exam room as well. That flexibility in the analysis part is crucial for appropriate adaptation.

If you continue to apply yourself and manage to handle your stress in exams, you can absolutely turn your marks around. You're only a term and a bit in!

Is there anything really specific that you'd like to focus on? Maybe we can make you a bit of a game plan from here on in?

I hope you don't feel down for too long, we're all here to help

[KT Nyunt]

What is George Orwell's perspective on resistance and rebellion?
Here's what I know: Like Lang, he rejected authoritarian rule and believed rebellion is hypocritical and a senseless solution.
But was he contradicting his cultural context? Or was this also how other people felt in Europe post WWII?

[jamonwindeyer]

What is George Orwell's perspective on resistance and rebellion?
Here's what I know: Like Lang, he rejected authoritarian rule and believed rebellion is hypocritical and a senseless solution.
But was he contradicting his cultural context? Or was this also how other people felt in Europe post WWII?

Hey! Without knowing the text(s), I reckon you could argue either! There is rarely a 'correct' answer for this sort of analysis, provided you can back it up! But there might be something most students tend to stick with - Hopefully someone can help out

[owidjaja]

What is George Orwell's perspective on resistance and rebellion?
Here's what I know: Like Lang, he rejected authoritarian rule and believed rebellion is hypocritical and a senseless solution.
But was he contradicting his cultural context? Or was this also how other people felt in Europe post WWII?

Hey there,
I haven't done much with 1984/Metropolis but from my background knowledge of these two texts, Orwell and Lang use ideas such as compassion to combat against totalitarianism. In Metropolis, it was proven successful with Freder as the mediator because Lang is trying to say that to prevent an uprising from the working class, the upper class needs compassion to prevent conflict ('The mediator between the head and the hands is the heart').

However, 1984 doesn't show this success- Orwell shows this through the loss of values (e.g. Winston's dreams of his mother but then contrasts that with metaphors such as 'still sinking' to show how despair trumps compassion). So basically, Orwell is showing what it's like to live during the time of Stalin's purge on top of showing what it would be like of fascism took over Europe.

Hope this helps!

[theyam]

What is George Orwell's perspective on resistance and rebellion?
Here's what I know: Like Lang, he rejected authoritarian rule and believed rebellion is hypocritical and a senseless solution.
But was he contradicting his cultural context? Or was this also how other people felt in Europe post WWII?

Hello,

Although I'm not doing 1984, I'm studying Animal Farm as a related text and from my research, Orwell has a very particular view on revolutions. Orwell does not agree with the revolutionary psychology as they ultimately cannot work unless numerous factors all work together. For example, a revolution cannot occur ideally due to the complexity of human behaviour (such as the ruthless ambition for power) and also the masses that are willing to be passive to this devolution in order to have an illusion of security and structure. This can be summed in a quote I found from one of his interviews, 'I meant the moral to be that revolutions only effect a radical improvement when the masses are alert and know how/when to chuck out their leaders'
Sorry I can't help with Lang though, haven't done it. Hope what I have helps.

From theyam

[theyam]

Hello,

I've just stumbled across a problem in writing my Module C essay. So my school assignment was to write a speech on a Mod C related text about how it relates to Module C. So I've just finished my first draft and now I'm starting my Mod C essay which will contain The Crucible and Animal Farm. So I started my introduction but wasn't exactly sure if the structure was right (have't done the Module in prelim so this is literally my first time doing) so I downloaded a couple of exemplar essays from the atarnotes notes section. And I realised that some of the phrases and ideas are very very very similar to one of the exemplar essays (Written by Lucy Zhao in 2015).

Like this is literally my introduction:
Critical representations of people and politics are influenced by a composer’s disillusionment with their contemporary context, dominated by a corruptive political regime that stems from the complexity of human behaviour. Thus, this portrayal often results in a unique and evocative narrative.  Arthur Miller’s utilises his dramatic play The Crucible (1953) as a medium to explore the political and social ramifications, stemming form the manipulation of widespread fear of communism during the Cold War period. Influenced by the decay of the Russian Revolution, George Orwell’s satirical novella Animal Farm (1945) ventures into the failings of the revolutionary psychology. Both texts expose the inherent corruption within political spheres, whereby power hungry people ruthlessly manipulate politics to pursue their own agendas. Furthermore, the masses, in a situation of fear and desperation, ultimately fall to this illusion of security and structure, leading to the downfall of society. Through deliberate manipulation of form, both composers purposefully shocks responders by didactically representing people and politics as a tumultuous relationship between the complexity of human behaviour and its ramifications. 

And this was hers: Composers’ representations of the complex relationship between   people and politics are influenced   by   
various moral and social   agendas,   whereby a portrayal of reality   and   meaning   is inherently subjective.   Arthur Miller’s   dramatic   allegory The Crucible (1953) explores the political   and   social ramifications   of the contentious   ‘Cold War’   period in   American   history when the widespread   fear   of communism arose. John Pilger’s political   documentary Breaking   the Silence: Truth and Lies in   the   War   on   Terror (2003) provides a   critique on the   American   government’s   manipulation   of   power   dynamics   to   instigate   fear   within society   through   the   media’s   portrayal   of   terrorism.   Both texts explicate   the   power   of   political   and   social injustices to drive   individuals to pursue   their   own   motivations.   As the fallible   democratic systems   expose   the   inherent   corruption   of   the   political   sphere   and   the   ways   in   which   authority   can   be   manipulated,   the   actions   of   individuals   and   societies   are   ultimately   revealed   to   be   acts   of   conformity.   (sorry for the weird spacing thats how it got copied onto here and theres to may wacky spaces to be fixed)

I have 100% definitely not plagiarised but seeing some of the similar phrases such as fallibility of (I use fallibility of the revolutionary psychology for a later paragraph but still, I literally learnt this word from a thesaurus cos problem sounds a bit basic) ..., political and social ramifications (I used this phrase because theres no other succinct phrase I could use that would explicitly link to people and politics???), inherent corruption within political spheres, and the ideas of personal agendas and the masses  is making me feel really uncomfortable in proceeding with my essay. Could someone offer some advice to a very stressed student please?

Thank you
theyam

[jamonwindeyer]

Hello,

I've just stumbled across a problem in writing my Module C essay. So my school assignment was to write a speech on a Mod C related text about how it relates to Module C. So I've just finished my first draft and now I'm starting my Mod C essay which will contain The Crucible and Animal Farm. So I started my introduction but wasn't exactly sure if the structure was right (have't done the Module in prelim so this is literally my first time doing) so I downloaded a couple of exemplar essays from the atarnotes notes section. And I realised that some of the phrases and ideas are very very very similar to one of the exemplar essays (Written by Lucy Zhao in 2015).

I have 100% definitely not plagiarised but seeing some of the similar phrases such as fallibility of (I use fallibility of the revolutionary psychology for a later paragraph but still, I literally learnt this word from a thesaurus cos problem sounds a bit basic) ..., political and social ramifications (I used this phrase because theres no other succinct phrase I could use that would explicitly link to people and politics???), inherent corruption within political spheres, and the ideas of personal agendas and the masses  is making me feel really uncomfortable in proceeding with my essay. Could someone offer some advice to a very stressed student please?

Thank you
theyam

If you've used an exemplar essay to give you an idea, then it's only natural that key phrases will sink in to your writing. It's subconscious, even without any intent you tend to use stuff from things you are reading. Just like in the musical world how lots of artists get done for copyright infringement, and they genuinely had no intent to do so. They probably just happened to listen to something while they were writing the album (a recent example, for the curious).

This said, yours isn't bad. A lot of your crossover is based on the syllabus (political and social ramifications), using a word isn't plagiarism, and that just leaves "inherent corruption within political spheres." That is the one that makes me raise an eyebrow, but does that constitute plagiarism? I doubt it - It's a phrase!

This isn't a super formal Thesis submission or anything you will profit from. If you didn't plagiarise, you didn't plagiarise. If in your head you think those phrases were copied, change them, if you don't then just press on - You'll be fine

[theyam]

If you've used an exemplar essay to give you an idea, then it's only natural that key phrases will sink in to your writing. It's subconscious, even without any intent you tend to use stuff from things you are reading. Just like in the musical world how lots of artists get done for copyright infringement, and they genuinely had no intent to do so. They probably just happened to listen to something while they were writing the album (a recent example, for the curious).

This said, yours isn't bad. A lot of your crossover is based on the syllabus (political and social ramifications), using a word isn't plagiarism, and that just leaves "inherent corruption within political spheres." That is the one that makes me raise an eyebrow, but does that constitute plagiarism? I doubt it - It's a phrase!

This isn't a super formal Thesis submission or anything you will profit from. If you didn't plagiarise, you didn't plagiarise. If in your head you think those phrases were copied, change them, if you don't then just press on - You'll be fine

Thank you Jamon, I have no idea why I panicked in the moment -.-

[sheeza.khalid]

I'm currently writing a creative however I don't know how to show a break between my paragraphs. For example: if i want to show a six month break, do I write six months later in my creative?

[owidjaja]

I'm currently writing a creative however I don't know how to show a break between my paragraphs. For example: if i want to show a six month break, do I write six months later in my creative?

Hey there,
You could use asterisks or just a line in between the two sections to suggest a new setting, and if you're using this time skip to show something significant, you could (maybe) describe the change that has occurred and parallel this with the initial description (e.g. include initial description of setting and then after the time skip, introduce a new description of the same setting to show time skip). As annoying as this phrase sounds, show not tell! You want to make it clear to the markers that there is a time skip but not just say straight up there's a time skip.

Hope this helps!

[Mada438]

I'm currently writing a creative however I don't know how to show a break between my paragraphs. For example: if i want to show a six month break, do I write six months later in my creative?

Asterixes work definititely.
I wrote my creative with time jumps and id use asterixes to indicate these time jumps!

[Lumenoria]

Hey guys,
What is the ideal word count limit for Module A essays? I've finished a generic response (based on 1984 x Metropolis) that has been assured a solid A range mark by my teacher, provided I am able to adapt it properly and the like. However, it is literally 1420 words long, and that's EXCLUDING a conclusion. I have 4 body paragraphs, btw. I'm conflicted because my teacher says that her best students in the past have been able to write 1400 words in 40 minutes for Module A, which she says specifically needs an exponentially longer response to achieve an A range mark - in comparison to Mod B, Mod C etc, but that literally seems impossible. Meanwhile, the consensus on various HSC forums seem to be around 1200 words MAX. However, my teacher has taught 3 students in the past that state ranked for Advanced - one of which ranked 1st in the state for Standard, and last year 60% of her class got a Band 6 for Advanced, so I value her thoughts a lot. By no means am I a slow writer - I can comfortably pump out 1100 in the exam, but that would mean I have to cut out 300 words - basically an entire body paragraph - for that to even be feasible. Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.