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Author Topic: Official ATAR Notes ‘Post Your Poetry’ Thread  (Read 24961 times)

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Coffee

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Official ATAR Notes ‘Post Your Poetry’ Thread
« on: December 11, 2017, 04:19:15 pm »
+3
If you think you have what it takes to be the next Shakespeare, Dickinson, or Wordsworth, post your poetry below!
« Last Edit: December 11, 2017, 07:54:57 pm by Coffee »

Yertle the Turtle

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Re: Official ATAR Notes ‘Post Your Poetry’ Thread
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2017, 04:32:29 pm »
+11
Hi guys,
I'll start this off. For Unit 2 English we had to write a WW1 poem as a creative SAC, so here's mine:
In Sludge and in Shade
‘Way back at home in his quiet home town,
The soldier’s dream world had begun to burn down.
His hopes had been buried in the wet, blood-red sludge
Of the trench-ridden fields he daily would trudge.
‘Til his life would be shortened by bullet or blade,
To lie among others, in sludge and in shade.

He once had a friend in the quiet home town,
Whose face, by the sun, had been slowly burned brown.
Together they once had shared a grand life,
But then they’d gone southward to join in the strife.
Their friendship was broken, shattered, repealed
The fragments were scattered upon the blood field.

The world was a chaos of noise and of pain.
But he was oblivious to all but the rain.
The shells beat down, like glowing red suns,
While bullets whined deathly, from the muzzles of guns.
But even with this, he only could know,
The cold of the wind and the cold of the snow.

Hades stalked stealthy in every dark hole,
And extinguished Life’s last lingering coal.
The black, cold fingers of death’s hard hand,
Crept amid the warriors of that dark land.
Many a man would curse the sad war,
The sorrow of death, these many, they bore.

The wind whipped his hair, the rain his face.
Up and down the wet, cramped ditch his feet began to pace.
The silence was heavy, death in the air,
While ‘way back at home, not many would care
If his life was cut short, by bullet or blade,
To lie among others, in sludge and in shade.
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Joseph41

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Re: Official ATAR Notes ‘Post Your Poetry’ Thread
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2017, 04:37:08 pm »
0
^Really, really good. I enjoyed that, and read it multiple times. Thanks for sharing. :)

Do you also write for recreation?

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Yertle the Turtle

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Re: Official ATAR Notes ‘Post Your Poetry’ Thread
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2017, 04:40:38 pm »
0
^Really, really good. I enjoyed that, and read it multiple times. Thanks for sharing. :)

Do you also write for recreation?
A little bit, but not much anymore, as school is a higher priority. I'm too much of a perfectionist and therefore really dislike my own writing. :(
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2019-?: Certificate III  in Bricklaying and Blocklaying

Have counted to 80

Joseph41

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Re: Official ATAR Notes ‘Post Your Poetry’ Thread
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2017, 04:46:05 pm »
+9
A little bit, but not much anymore, as school is a higher priority. I'm too much of a perfectionist and therefore really dislike my own writing. :(

Me too, which is why I'm really looking forward to this thread. Writing doesn't need to be perfect.

Case in point:

Spoiler
Alas!, a crashing on the rocks -
A tide of timing makes its play;
Through pain and heartache, numbing knocks,
It thunders in, through night and day.

A tide of timing makes its play -
Goliath’s spit is David’s rain -
It thunders in, through night and day,
And all you do is fake and feign.

Goliath’s spit is David’s rain -
When storms set in, they’re never brief.
And all you do is fake and feign,
Take refuge in misplaced belief.

When storms set in, they’re never brief;
You take the bruises undeserved,
Take refuge in misplaced belief,
And maintain hope, still unreserved.

You take the bruises underserved,
Through pain and heartache, numbing knocks,
And maintain hope, still unreserved -
Alas!, a crashing on the rocks.

Oxford comma, Garamond, Avett Brothers, Orla Gartland enthusiast.

Coffee

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Re: Official ATAR Notes ‘Post Your Poetry’ Thread
« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2017, 04:50:22 pm »
0
Hi guys,
I'll start this off. For Unit 2 English we had to write a WW1 poem as a creative SAC, so here's mine:
In Sludge and in Shade
‘Way back at home in his quiet home town,
The soldier’s dream world had begun to burn down.
His hopes had been buried in the wet, blood-red sludge
Of the trench-ridden fields he daily would trudge.
‘Til his life would be shortened by bullet or blade,
To lie among others, in sludge and in shade.

He once had a friend in the quiet home town,
Whose face, by the sun, had been slowly burned brown.
Together they once had shared a grand life,
But then they’d gone southward to join in the strife.
Their friendship was broken, shattered, repealed
The fragments were scattered upon the blood field.

The world was a chaos of noise and of pain.
But he was oblivious to all but the rain.
The shells beat down, like glowing red suns,
While bullets whined deathly, from the muzzles of guns.
But even with this, he only could know,
The cold of the wind and the cold of the snow.

Hades stalked stealthy in every dark hole,
And extinguished Life’s last lingering coal.
The black, cold fingers of death’s hard hand,
Crept amid the warriors of that dark land.
Many a man would curse the sad war,
The sorrow of death, these many, they bore.

The wind whipped his hair, the rain his face.
Up and down the wet, cramped ditch his feet began to pace.
The silence was heavy, death in the air,
While ‘way back at home, not many would care
If his life was cut short, by bullet or blade,
To lie among others, in sludge and in shade.

Thanks for starting us off, Marvin! This is really good, I'm impressed. :)

Me too, which is why I'm really looking forward to this thread. Writing doesn't need to be perfect.

Case in point:

Spoiler
Alas!, a crashing on the rocks -
A tide of timing makes its play;
Through pain and heartache, numbing knocks,
It thunders in, through night and day.

A tide of timing makes its play -
Goliath’s spit is David’s rain -
It thunders in, through night and day,
And all you do is fake and feign.

Goliath’s spit is David’s rain -
When storms set in, they’re never brief.
And all you do is fake and feign,
Take refuge in misplaced belief.

When storms set in, they’re never brief;
You take the bruises undeserved,
Take refuge in misplaced belief,
And maintain hope, still unreserved.

You take the bruises underserved,
Through pain and heartache, numbing knocks,
And maintain hope, still unreserved -
Alas!, a crashing on the rocks.
I really liked this too. Love the atmosphere. :)

Out of curiosity, how do you guys go about writing poetry? I've only ever written prose, so all my attempts at writing poetry have failed and I don't really know where to start. :-\

Mada438

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Re: Official ATAR Notes ‘Post Your Poetry’ Thread
« Reply #6 on: December 11, 2017, 04:52:37 pm »
+1
Just made my own thread for poetry, check out my first post!  :)
"Live life like a pineapple. Stand tall, wear a crown and be sweet on the inside"

"May you grow up to be righteous; may you grow up to be true. May you always know the truth and see the lights surrounding you. May you always be courageous, stand upright and be strong"

"Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire"

Advice for starting year 12
An open letter to my School Friends
Would 10 year old you be proud of who you are?

2020: Bachelor of Arts @ANU

Joseph41

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Re: Official ATAR Notes ‘Post Your Poetry’ Thread
« Reply #7 on: December 11, 2017, 04:53:30 pm »
+5
Out of curiosity, how do you guys go about writing poetry? I've only ever written prose, so all my attempts at writing poetry have failed and I don't really know where to start. :-\

I sit down at a café, and honestly just start writing shit. I'm nearing 1,000 poems according to Tumblr over the last few years. Basically all of those are just, like, word vomit or something at the time.

If you're struggling to start, though, I really recommend stealing somebody else's structure, and going from there. So like: "Okay, cool, they've started with six syllables here, with emphasis on the last syllable. I'll start with that."

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Yertle the Turtle

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Re: Official ATAR Notes ‘Post Your Poetry’ Thread
« Reply #8 on: December 11, 2017, 04:53:44 pm »
+1
Out of curiosity, how do you guys go about writing poetry? I've only ever written prose, so all my attempts at writing poetry have failed and I don't really know where to start. :-\
You start with a general feeling and what you want to write about. You then find a metre that flows nicely and simply write. I know that it isn't that simple, but that is kinda how it seems to happen ;P
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Methods | Specialist | Physics | Chemistry | English | Texts and Traditions

2019: B. Eng (Hons) | Monash
2019-?: Certificate III  in Bricklaying and Blocklaying

Have counted to 80

Mada438

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Re: Official ATAR Notes ‘Post Your Poetry’ Thread
« Reply #9 on: December 11, 2017, 05:20:00 pm »
0
Do you reckon i could make another sticky thread regarding quotes??
"Live life like a pineapple. Stand tall, wear a crown and be sweet on the inside"

"May you grow up to be righteous; may you grow up to be true. May you always know the truth and see the lights surrounding you. May you always be courageous, stand upright and be strong"

"Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire"

Advice for starting year 12
An open letter to my School Friends
Would 10 year old you be proud of who you are?

2020: Bachelor of Arts @ANU

Calebark

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Re: Official ATAR Notes ‘Post Your Poetry’ Thread
« Reply #10 on: February 23, 2018, 02:23:45 pm »
+10
I rarely ever share poetry, but I think it'd be good to try to get this more active, so here I am! idk how to write poetry so this has no structure, it's more word vomit

Spoiler
Died have all the trees
The last rose has lost its leaves
Thorn and stem and coloured doubt
No more beauty to sing about
Nature has lost its breeze
Succumbed to disease
« Last Edit: April 25, 2018, 02:44:57 am by Calebark »
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Jada03

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Re: Official ATAR Notes ‘Post Your Poetry’ Thread
« Reply #11 on: March 24, 2018, 08:35:39 pm »
+13
Ok so I've got one here....but I wrote it a few years back (when i was 12) so forgive me for its total lack of structure and everything else. It was just literally my thoughts flowing onto the paper. I wrote it the day that my 20 year old brother was killed in a car accident. At that point we had no further information and that was all we had been told by the police.....I went into my bedroom alone and put my pen to paper and this is what came out.....

A bright face, a happy smile
Laughing, caring all the whlie
Tall, strong, his straight brown hair
I can see him in my mind, but when I look, he's not there.

It was today, a bright Friday morning,
It all came without any warning,
"A car crash", "killed", that's all we know
But the Lord was there, and in time He will show.

He was ready, that's all we can say,
Ready for the Lord to come and take him away,
Away from us yes, but from the world too,
Away up to heaven, where all skies are blue.

He's now with the Lord, and with those that are already gone,
And yes, although our hearts are torn,
We know that one day we'll see him once more,
When we, with renewed strength, and wings as eagles soar.


So yeah...its not the greatest poem in the world...but just thought I'd share it :) No prizes for guessing that I'm a Christian either....hope that doesn't worry anyone!  ;) :D

Yertle the Turtle

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Re: Official ATAR Notes ‘Post Your Poetry’ Thread
« Reply #12 on: March 27, 2018, 09:15:55 am »
+3
snip
That's beautiful, really love it! I'm Christian too, and I love the spirituality of the poem. God bless you.
2017-2018: VCE
Methods | Specialist | Physics | Chemistry | English | Texts and Traditions

2019: B. Eng (Hons) | Monash
2019-?: Certificate III  in Bricklaying and Blocklaying

Have counted to 80

Joseph41

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Re: Official ATAR Notes ‘Post Your Poetry’ Thread
« Reply #13 on: March 27, 2018, 11:31:40 am »
+2
Ok so I've got one here....but I wrote it a few years back (when i was 12) so forgive me for its total lack of structure and everything else. It was just literally my thoughts flowing onto the paper. I wrote it the day that my 20 year old brother was killed in a car accident. At that point we had no further information and that was all we had been told by the police.....I went into my bedroom alone and put my pen to paper and this is what came out.....

A bright face, a happy smile
Laughing, caring all the whlie
Tall, strong, his straight brown hair
I can see him in my mind, but when I look, he's not there.

It was today, a bright Friday morning,
It all came without any warning,
"A car crash", "killed", that's all we know
But the Lord was there, and in time He will show.

He was ready, that's all we can say,
Ready for the Lord to come and take him away,
Away from us yes, but from the world too,
Away up to heaven, where all skies are blue.

He's now with the Lord, and with those that are already gone,
And yes, although our hearts are torn,
We know that one day we'll see him once more,
When we, with renewed strength, and wings as eagles soar.


So yeah...its not the greatest poem in the world...but just thought I'd share it :) No prizes for guessing that I'm a Christian either....hope that doesn't worry anyone!  ;) :D

Really beautiful. Sorry to hear about your brother; that must have been so difficult to go through.

Thanks for sharing!

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Poet

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Re: Official ATAR Notes ‘Post Your Poetry’ Thread
« Reply #14 on: April 05, 2018, 07:43:39 pm »
+8
Spreading the love, guys.
Thanks for the encouragement, Adam! <3

Spoiler
Love is just a word,
But a word with meaning.
Waves crashing on the rocks
Or hearts together, beating.

Love is pain
But also life
We carry on through all
But when we lose
The love of our lives
The end is within call.

What is love?
And why do we
Find it so important?
For love is joy
And love is pain
A paradoxical moment.

If love is 'just emotion',
Then how come I can feel it?
If love is 'superficial',
Then how am I meant to mean it?

To give my love is something strange,
To give it all away.
I try to hold on to the corner
But love is a gift,
Never trade.

For a trade is something we only give
To find a profitable return.
But when I give love,
I give it all,
And still I never learn.

For love is something special,
So tangible, so sweet.
But it is something fragile
So glass-like, so weak.

So easily snuffed out by a breath
Of another passing by.
What once was strong
Is now soon lost
Under marching feet in time.

But still we try
And we hold on
To the love found in our hearts.
And maybe one day
We will find
A heart that will love us.
Thoughts are only thoughts.
They are not you. You do belong to yourself,
even when your thoughts don't.

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