I read through your piece and I wrote down what you had embedded in each paragraph and your links made to the prompt and to the ideas. Overall this is a brilliant piece in my opinion.
I mark it with an A or A+.
Some things I jotted down that you done really well were;
-Directly addressing prompt...in the intro "the problem", "solution" and you altered "offered" to n"forced to be a more relevant word for your ideas when referring to "marriage is offered" (prompt)
-Using pronoun links..."This..."
-Using connecting words..."Additionally", "Despite the fact...", "Ultimately"
-A very coherent piece, flowed nicely, easy to read
-It is clear for the examiner to see that you have an understanding of the film...you briefly explain the plot in the intro
Amazingly you...
-wrote about at least 3 characters in each paragraph instead of just using 1character per paragraph
-you then compared those characters, with their similarities and differences (Eve and Margo in paragraph 1)
-you outlined the comparison..."Eve is comparatively much younger..."
-your ideas linked, especially by repeating "loving husband" in p2 and p4... but using it as evidence to back up a different idea
p2 and p4 the example of Karen painting is highlighted but again it is used to back up two different ideas
Re-embedding the quotes/ideas a few times throughout the piece, in different paragraphs makes the piece a strong discussion and shows (well to me anyway)
that you explored the prompt/text more, you delved into more detail and interpretations
An error I noticed was "Lloyd Williams" p2. Lloyd's surname is actually Richards, not Williams.
Well done, also I have learnt a few things from this essay. Thankyou for posting it.