Happy New Year all!
I've decided to make a VCE Journal for Year 12 during the holidays because I'm looking for a way to procrastinate a way to record my thoughts on this year.
I wasn't really sure what to call this thread either, but decided I'd follow the weird username-wordplay trend that has been going on. I actually always planned to change my username. It was made on a whim after watching a Korean drama (lol) called 괜찮아, 사랑이야 (gwaenchana, sarangiya). ...Yet, here I am.
I have never written a diary or a journal before, so I feel really awkward writing to my 'future self'. Therefore, I'm going to write this like I'm addressing someone, even if no-one reads ;D
I thought I'd use this first post as an ice breaker. So, in the form of commonly asked questions, I'll write my self-introduction.
I put them in spoiler tags so you don't have to bother with things you don't find interesting ;)
Who are you and what school do you go to?
I only realised it after having written this question but it's not that hard to find my name and school lmao.
Nonetheless, I won't reveal either one. I live in a regional town and go to a Catholic school.
For 2017, the median ATAR was 68.
What/when/why/how did you start VCE? etc. etc. (longgg lmao)
I did Unit 2 Japanese in Year 8 when I had Year 8 Japanese classes.
I never intended to do it, but I ended up attending a load of practice SACs and doing well on them so I did all of the actual SACs in like a week and got an S for Unit 2 last minute.
The following year I did Japanese 3/4, but another teacher suggested that I ought to "broaden my horizons" and explore other areas of interest. I didn't really agree but let her pitch her idea to me, which ended up being doing a 1/2 subject through DECV. I thought it sounded alright and so randomly (no joke) picked Philosophy. I did well in that, and got a raw 42 (scaled 48 wowee) in Japanese.
The year after that (we're at Year 10 now... are you keeping up?) I did philosophy 3/4, psychology 3/4 and Japanese SL 3/4 again.
Philosophy was just natural progression. Why not do the 3/4 after doing the 1/2? I ended up getting 36 raw (35 scaled I think) which I was super disappointed with. I had gotten a B+ in the exam, which spoiled the pretty good marks I got in GA1/GA2.
Psychology was because 2016 was the last year of that study design. I always intended to do it and have a great relationship with the teacher who does psychology. So, I ended up getting a 43 raw. Disappointing but I didn't mind too much.
Japanese... again. I actually didn't want to at all. I burnt my cue cards, told my teacher that no matter how much she said I should do it again I wouldn't, and had heated discussions with my mum about why I shouldn't. And then I got the 42. Lmao. In Semester 1, I didn't attend classes at all. In Semester 2, we started doing the detailed conversation, so I came for those lessons. I honestly thought I had bombed the oral exam so hard. I couldn't even speak to my teacher because I was so disappointed in myself lmao. As for the exam, it felt easy (but then again, all of them did at that point), but I felt uneasy afterwards anyway. At the end of it all, I got the 50 (ye boi), perfect oral marks and two marks of the exam.
In 2017, my Year 11 year, I did no 3/4s. I did the UMEP program instead. I was up to Parkville two times a week doing Japanese 7 and Japanese 8. I had actually gotten into the level above "Variations in Japanese" but it wasn't offered in the UMEP program, so I did 7/8. Honestly loved being in Melbourne and fell in love with the UniMelb campus. The classes themselves were average, but boy did I love Melbourne Uni. (This is the origin of one of my biggest points of dissension this year, as you will see should you continue to read). I got H1 average for both Semester 1 and 2 which was great. But overall 2017 was an awful year. I had suffered the effects of 2016, and 2017 was my year of recovery. That's the excuse that I'm going with. But honestly, I'm feeling much better now.
So that's my weird VCE history to date. Hope it clears things up.
When did you start VCE? (TL;DR version)
Year 8. First 3/4 in Year 9. My signature doesn't lie.
Yes, my school allowed me to. Why? There are many reasons I may or may not divulge in the future. Is it because my school is exploiting me for good reputation etc.? No. Does VCAA allow it? Yes. Don't you get 10% of repeated subjects? No. Do people hate you for it? I assume so. Do I regret it? No. Was it hard? Yes.
What are you doing for VCE this year?
3/4: Psychology, Chemistry, Mathematical Methods, English Language
and, an apprenticeship (lol). I'll be working in a surgical clinic 7 hours a week and pick up a Cert III in "Allied Health Assistance". I'm actually pretty keen. And yes, it would have contributed to my ATAR. Problem is it only counts when you have under 6 subjects and I will have 8.
Why am I repeating psychology, I hear you ask. I originally was set on doing Religion and Society but our teacher dropped the subject. Didn't know what else to do, so why not.
What are your hobbies?
Language learning and watching foreign dramas lmao.
Japanese, Korean, Mandarin, German (barely) at the moment.
I watch mostly Korean or Japanese dramas, but am getting into cheesy Chinese ones recently.
Things I like but aren't really 'hobbies' are fashion, drawing/arty stuff, reading about medications on Wikipedia or Drugs.com (lol), programming/computer science (bit of a past thing tho :'( ), music (mainly K-Pop not gonna lie) and making schedules/plans/mindmaps (<- I won't delve into this because I'll seem a bit insane tbh).
I don't play instruments or sport. The reason is because I hate practicing. I have tried piano, drums, guitar, singing, recorder, netball, swimming, ballet, karate, tae kwon do, jazz, tap, acting/musical theatre, tennis, golf, yoga, tai chi, etccccc but anything repetitive I cannot stand. All of these probably get less monotonous after you get good at them, but I never got there.
What is your plan for after VCE?
Medicine. ikr how boring.
Already registered for UMAT so we will see if I get into any undergrad courses. If not I'll go to Melb and do BSc and MD after (if I can lmfao).
I first intended to do BSc and then MD without even trying for undergrad but I think if I don't try I'll regret it. Also the older (?) I get the more I want to do practical study (hence my apprenticeship, as well, which I chose over a VCE subject).
If you're wondering why med (and not something to do with language/linguistics as everyone assumes lol):
I did my work experience at the Royal Women's and Royal Melbourne Hospital.
Honestly it was lit. I can't shake it. If I could go back tomorrow, I would.
No joke I don't even know why I went there for work experience. At the time I wanted to do Speech Pathology (after a time of wanting to do translation/interpreting). I was also vegetarian and I cannot touch meat with bare hands when cooking. And yet, I had no qualms about sticking my finger in a guy's hernia lmfao.
So, in the end, a had a flame lit inside me after those two weeks. Since then, everything I do seems to be fanning (adding oil to?) that flame. 加油!!
What are your goals for 2018?
Dat ATAR boi.
I'm not gonna lie, I'm going for the 99.95. Sure, I might not get it. I might, though.
The one thing I cannot stand is people who "aim" for a 35 or a 42, or a 80 or a 65 ATAR or something like that.
Don't get me wrong, I understand. But you should expect a 35 or 73.95, not aim for it. I'm aiming for 99.95, I might expect less. But I really think that anyone doing anything should always aim for the highest. Always, always, always. You're selling yourself short if you don't and even if you don't get it, I daresay you'll get higher than what you would have had you settled for a 34, or a 98.50 at the beginning of the year, or before your final exam.
But yeah, I don't have any other goals for this year because I honestly just want that mint ATAR so I can get scholarships lol. Sorry not sorry.
I'm "in the process" of making a bucket list of sorts for 2018. Because it's the last year of school, I should probably figure out some things that i would no doubt regret if I didn't do them this year. I'll no doubt write about it some time.
[to be updated ;) ]
I can't believe I'm using more spoiler tags lmfao.
Really excited for future updates!! With your current scores, I'm confident you'll do amazingly well! (get that perfect atar boi)
Best of luck for VCE, UMAT, uni and life in general ;D
Spoiler
Thank you so much! Such an honour coming from you!!
I absolutely love your guides so far, seriously. I'm anxiously waiting for your next ones!
Agree with this 100%. The very reason I do not give advice about what marks someone should be aiming for in SACs and/or the exam to get a certain study score is because you should be aiming to do your very best - why would you settle for anything less? At the end of the day, you can be satisfied that you tried your best, and hold no regrets about what you could or should have done more. A good mentality to have in my opinion :)
Looking forward to reading the rest of your VCE journey! ;D
Spoiler
Thank you so much for your reply! We must have similar strategies/mindsets towards VCE :D
I am definitely in the same boat regarding giving advice about goals for SACs and exams. In the end, it isn't my business anyway. Having realistic expectations based on SAC and exam results is important, so I try to encourage that after everything that can be done is done. Before that though, there is always room to strive higher!
The optimal approach IMO is to aim for the very best but set a lower number that you will be happy with. This way, you will not get dissapointed if you dont get 99.95 lol. Predicting or expecting scores may help with setting a ‘content limit.’
Spoiler
Thank you so much for your reply :D
I definitely know where you're coming from!
Setting a content limit would be a fantastic way to avoid the pain from disappointment, which I will more than likely experience.
From my own experience though, striving for higher is great thing. If not, surely I would have been contented with my 42 from Japanese. And I'm really glad that I wasn't, because I would not have tried again if I were.
I think your advice about predicting is great though. After all SACs and exams are over, its probably best to "brace oneself" by having a realistic idea. But for the time when you're striving towards it, I think it's important not too be satisfied too easily or too early.
Best of luck for year 12. Its nice to see a fellow kpop and kdrama fan here in the forums.
Spoiler
Yasss! Do shoot me a message sometime! Thanks for your reply as well! <3
1. Never feeling like they've done enough for their 'best' (perfectionist) and thus creating more stress than what's necessary, or
I have to admit, this is definitely me.
2. Having a lowered perception of what they can do, hypothetically studying 5 'units' of content per night and thinking that's their 'best', when in reality they could feasibly do 7 (hypothetical units).
Spoiler
I actually would have thought this is the result when aiming for a lower score than what is possible! Thinking "surely this is enough to get me a 40", when in reality more work could have earned that person a 45. (as an example)
But, it could be the case that because the goal seems more tangible, motivation increases and people do closer to their best. Quite interesting!
Ideally, if you're starting off Year 12 with Cs in a subject, you don't want to 'aim for 50', because that's going to put you in the '1' category. Instead, aim for understanding the content and getting Bs/B+s in your next assessments. Once you've achieved that, then raise the bar to As and then A+s and then Rank 1, and then a 50. Having mentored B/B+ students to 45+ raw study scores - they don't get there by thinking "i'll aim for 50" from the very start, they got there by improving slowly but steadily - every time they get better, they raise the bar just that little bit higher.
Spoiler
Absolutely! I wasn't very clear in the beginning, but this is definitely how I'd go about striving higher! I think smaller, achievable goals are absolutely necessary. But, just as you say, the bar should be raised higher each time. And my opinion is that the overall goal the smaller goals are working towards, the height to which the bar is raised, is as high as possible. What I say I can't stand is when people stop raising that bar, and become satisfied when really they could have done more. Maybe the bar won't be raised as far as it can go - there are only so many days of Year 12! But if you continually push it higher, at least you know that where it ended up was your best in the circumstances, and not short of your full potential.
I just want to chuck on a disclaimer - these are just my experiences and what has worked/not worked for my past students. Everyone has a different style of learning, and Sarangiya has evidently used her perspective to great success :)
Spoiler
Thank you so much for your reply and your wisdom!!
I also want to make a disclaimer that I don't mean to push my opinion onto anyone (though I did word it pretty strongly lmao).
Especially, I know that some time ago this mentality would not have been practical for myself either. At that time, I was very vulnerable to pain and guilt from not satisfying my perfectionism. Therefore, it was much more important for me to avoid that - which I could have done by setting achievable goals. Our priorities and needs change all the time. Before, I think it was avoiding that disappointment. At the moment, my priority is to keep motivated and try my hardest. Towards the end of the year, I might realise my current mentality is too naive (the beauty of recording it down I guess!).
...being realistic is something some people find more comforting than what they could be achieving (the best in this case). I mean, like how do you know if you're performing at your best? It's all too relative and ambiguous.
There are many (many) subtexts you're leaving out when you say you don't "get people who aim for 35". Perhaps, the scores itself bear very little value to them in the many millions of other things they have in their lives, and managing them by saying "if I achieve xyz" gives them a sense of possible achievement. And perhaps, it's not even the achievement itself, but rather a sense of control that they're after in the grand scheme of problems they're having outside of school etc. whatever - you get my point lol.
I really sincerely hope I'm not scaring you away! I just profoundly disagreed with the sentiments expressed.
Spoiler
Not in the slightest. This is really fantastic post and I admire how thoughtfully and coherently you expressed what needed to be said.
Thank you so much for your post.
My controversial one-liner absolutely did leave out many circumstances in which it is not practical. I wrote in this post too my own experience of when it was not. In those situations, it is more important to do what is best in the circumstances, dependent upon one's priories etc.
However, I still think striving higher each time is an optimistic coping strategy as opposed to avoiding possible disappointment. Ultimately, my belief is that if one does "aim" for something less than perfect, they are more unlikely to reach that goal than they would had they continuously made efforts. That is not to say they should not be satisfied with a 35 in the end if that's what they wanted. It is just to say that while effort can still be made, it is worth making that effort to ensure you can achieve that goal, instead of being satisfied prematurely and being at risk of not achieving it.
But I really do hope that anyone reading takes your message because I absolutely agree. This mentality did not suit me in the past, and it may very well not serve me in the future. As you say, nothing is really one-size-fits-all in terms of advice. Just for now, this what I think is a good way to achieve our best (whatever that may be, and whether or not we can tell it is or not).
Hahah you just captured my infatuations with the uni well. I want to study there less because of what I'll be studying there, but because of the campus lol. Arts West; more like fuck yeah take me hombres ~
Anyway, will look forward to future updates 8)
Omf I know!!! I had tutes in Arts West and honestly it was just amaze. I never knew I could actually enjoy something based on the environment I was in lmao
Thank you!!!!
A stepwise process is a without a doubt a great way of managing your goals, and my belief is that the best results are given when you are 100% commited towards each step in the process.
Couldn't agree more with this!
The second week of January is almost over! Crazy, isn't it?
I should be getting ready for work at the moment, but I thought I would write a few things down before I left.
I was lucky enough to go to the ATAR Notes lectures on Monday and Tuesday this week! I went to Chemistry and English Language on Monday, and Psychology then Methods on Tuesday. It's kind of surreal thinking that someone reading this might have been in the same room.
The lectures were really great. My personal favourite was chemistry because I had already watched most of the Edrolo videos on Unit 3 (so I wasn't so bewildered) and because my motivation was high. My (motivational) arousal levels have been decreasing ever since lol but they were all fantastic and I'm so glad I dragged a few friends to the train station at half past 7 to go to them :)
On Friday I went out with some friends from work. We smashed out a litre of icecream, some sushi and then dinner afterwards. This morning I went out for a surprise breakfast and shopping for snacks with some friends, in preparation for a music festival tomorrow.
I’ve decided I’ll have to write more frequently, and then make a weekly summary to post on this VCE journal. There’s a lot I want to record for my future self to read, but a lot of it is irrelevant to VCE and perhaps private, so I think I’ll try having another journaling method.
For example
I was going to write about Jonghyun, a member of the South Korean group ‘SHINee’ who committed suicide late 2017. I didn’t think it would affect me so much because I had never invested real interest in SHINee as a group, let alone in Jonghyun himself. Bur for some reason I can’t stop thinking about it. I watched a drama called ‘Andante’, featuring Kim Jong-in of EXO (same company as SHINee). In the drama, Jong-in’s character goes through a mourning period and it really struck a chord. Thinking that Jonghyun’s death must have affected him, and seeing the depiction of mourning was really heartbreaking.
In light of those events, Baekhyun, another member of EXO, also made insensitive comments about depression recently.
I’ve had episodes in my life where I have stood up for what I believe contradicts my personal maxims or values, and times when I have not. Even though recognising I was going against my morals led me to let go of something, I don’t regret doing so. And I promised that from that point I was going to stand by my beliefs, because it felt righteous and dignified. Whether I have been doing that is another thing (haha), but I feel that my thoughts towards Baekhyun should be harsher. Yet, I feel that I want to deny that he had any wrong intentions. It’s difficult to see where my moral compass is pointing, especially in a case that is so far removed from my life.
I'm keeping relatively on top of my study schedule so far, so I've been in a great mood. I ought to knock off the overdue tasks but having work in the evening means I spend my day "getting ready". For this reason alone, I know that reducing my hours for this year is a must.
Anyway, that's a short description of my week so far. I'll update again next week :)
I didn’t notice it until writing this but there is only two weeks until school goes back.
A lot of friends are nervous to go back but I’m feeling pretty prepared. I’m more ‘unprepared’ for school events and other commitments. But I’m planning to just tackle those one by one - they’ll work out without me thinking over them.
There was a RMIT event on this week where you could ‘drop in’ and ask questions about maths. I was going to go Monday and Tuesday, only to discover I have lost my CAS. Great.
I thought on Tuesday (and Friday) I’d go nonetheless, but my mum was off work all this week, so I decided to stay home. Not going to lie, it was more because I am avoiding methods. But also, I think it worked out well. I still have two weeks to work with so hopefully I’ll face the mass of textbook questions waiting for me.
On math
Honestly, I quite like math and a don’t even mind textbook questions. What stresses me out is getting them wrong. Do I rub it out and do it again? Do I just leave it? Do I cross it out? If most of the page is wrong should I just rip the page out? The lack of organisation kills me lmao. I thought because of that loose leaf is best so I can just dispose of it afterwards, but then I forget which questions I’ve done… etc. So now I’m using a exercise book, but the ones I like are from Japan and about $2. Wasting those stresses me out too. What to do.
My math teacher says “it’s okay, because it is worth it.” I agree with him, but it also just seems like such a shame.
.
On Wednesday and Thursday I studied and had work.
On work antics
My boss introduced her to a Japanese girl who has come for the month. I was initially meant to host her but I couldn’t in the end, so promised to take her around. Problem was, I had no idea she was coming that day. So here I was, no makeup, dirty work apron and on a whopping 4 hours of sleep. Embarrassing! Thursday I made sure to come in looking like a snacc..
Today I went to a market. Not bad. I didn’t buy anything. I did a bit of chemistry.
I’m actually more excited about next week than I am this week. I’ve got the Senior First Aid course on Monday and Wednesday. I’m getting because I will be working in a day procedure clinic for seven hours a week this year (during class hours ayo). And most workplaces require first aid training, but especially my placement. I was told I wasn’t allowed to start until I did it.
On my placement
I’m super excited for my apprenticeship. The more I read about med school interviews, the more I think working in a healthcare setting and getting an allied health qualification will help me give some good responses.
In saying that, I notice that a lot of the questions posted on medstudentsonline are ethics-based. This worries me, but I also think having studied philosophy, I have a good capacity to discuss ethics. In saying that, I’ll really have to do some research and deep thinking lmao. It’s all well and good to get decent SAC marks after studying for terms, but a different thing to come up with a relatively well-versed moral stance within a few minutes.
Someone mentioned on that particular thread that “your career as a doctor could be likened to an endless series of these scenario questions”. Honestly speaking, I was a little shookt, but having thought about it, the idea isn’t too bad. The more you make those kind of ethical decisions, the more you understand about yourself and what is important to you. That’s one of the things I liked about medicine when I began to look at it as a career. I think I could do a lot for other careers, but I think medicine is a career which will do a lot for me as well.
Anyway, I’m off to finish the chemistry I started today and maybe some psychology as well if it doesn’t get too late.
Have a great weekend everyone :)
One month into Year 12!
I had my SAC on Friday, which went really well. I'm hoping for close to full marks but at the same time trying to not dwell on what I can't control. I also had a math test on Monday… which didn't know about. Luckily it doesn't contribute as a SAC but I got a positively abysmal score. My teacher said to me, "I have nothing to say to you but ‘what the hell?’"
more about this
I blamed it on the gastro and receiving no notice of a test. In reality, it was my own fault for not checking with the people in my class or my teacher. I had kind of trusted my classmates would fill me in - considering they sent me photos of what they did in class, I thought they already had. In the end, it was my own irresponsibility that lead to a surprise test that reflected far, far less than what my potential was.
The moral to this story is that I ought to address things myself. I have already discovered over and over again that I cannot trust or rely on really anyone in or outside of school, but it seems I was inexplicably optimistic this time.
I did more UMAT practice but discovered the exam I did was incomplete, and moreover, I didn't have the solutions to it. Nonetheless, it served as practice and should be the only one which is a bit dodgy. I am yet to do this week's test…
Frankly, English Language and Psychology are painful. It has been a month with no improvement. I know I could probably do something to make the classes more palatable, but...
Over this weekend I went to the TSFX lectures I mentioned. I went up with a few mates and really botched the whole getting-there part of the trip. Other than that, we had a good time.
My general impressions are great of TSFX. I really felt tempted multiple times to look at that registration sheet.
TSFX lectures impressions
On Saturday, I had methods and methods exam 2, followed by psychology and then UMAT. Methods was intimidating so say the least. Our school is different in that we have done differentiation while other schools seem to be completing circular functions. There was a lot of focus put on trig and I was struggling to recall Year 11 knowledge. The exam lecture following was even more brutal. Just felt like I had any hope of going decently in math sapped out of me. In saying that, there were some good tips.
Psychology was shocking. The only good part I can recall was the memory cues for parts of the brain… which, ironically enough, are not especially important for the new study design. I was a bit confused as to why it was focused on so much. The rest I have covered over and over so I could barely listen without getting a headache.
On the contrary, UMAT was fantastic. It was the best UMAT or medicine-related lecture I have been to. Our presenter was engaging and insightful, and I even got a little ego boost because I could get through the example questions. Even my friend who isn't completing the UMAT said it was the favourite over the two days.
On Sunday, I had chemistry and chemistry prac writing. Funnily, I feel like I gained more insight into practical SAC writing from the former rather than the latter. The presenter for chemistry was excellent. Even though it was intimidating, I really enjoyed the lecture. The later one also wasn't bad - I had probably just hit a wall by then lol.
I'm so happy with the notes provided as well. For any future students, they are filled with notes as well as exam-style questions with answers. Really quality and would recommend highly if they're running next year.
This week I will have the chemistry SAC and find out the result of my psych SAC … wish me luck!!
Have a great week everyone !
Only 9 full days of Term 1 left!
I'm not sure whether I'm happy or a little worried about that fact haha.
We have Labour Day holiday tomorrow (woohoo!), our Athletics Carnival next Friday, and Year 12 Retreat for three days in our last week, finishing the term on Thursday. So, surprisingly, there is not long to go now at all.
I had another methods test on Friday for transformations. I managed to get the exact same score as the first test we did. I probably should have done better in retrospect - I literally wrote on the paper 'I don't know how to subtract/add these algebraically' when afterwards a friend told me what they did and I almost fainted it was so obvious. I'm usually relatively good with algebraic manipulation so it is a little worrying that I'm making weird mistakes. I'm going to have to focus more on methods than I have been. Polynomials, huh...
We have a SAC for English Language next week on Friday. I've got this week to prepare for it and I'm really aiming high. I've just got to get over my weird issues with Sec B writing and smash a few practices out, get the content firmly under my belt and really hit this SAC out of the park. Fingers crossed.
Psychology, on the other hand, is still being marked. It's driving me a little bit up the wall, if I'm to be honest. I do think that getting assessments back in a timely manner is really important in VCE. I think it will give people an idea on where they stand (do I need to study more? Did I understand that topic? Should I try harder this topic?), a wake-up call to those who need it, and a bit of a release from tension lol. Hopefully it will be out this week.
Chemistry is going pretty well. We have started redox but progress is slow. I felt really good though because even after writing notes on it in like December of last year, I was able to explain concepts really well to a mate who forgot/didn't know how galvanic cells worked. It's a good sign. I'll make sure to do redox questions over the term break, as well as hopefully finish off notes for Unit 4. How long have I been saying that for? Hahaha. I took some notes on spectroscopy this week and although I was daunted at first (which may have been a contributing factor to the procrastination...) it isn't too bad and actually quite interesting.
In terms of motivation, I feel that I am dropping a bit. For the last two weekends I have just chilled out and done a bare minimum amount of study. But, I'm not really frustrated or feeling guilty because I know that if I push it too hard, I will burn out. It has happened before. I'm happy with just revitalizing at home and leaving study for school-time until I get some momentum back. It has kind of come at a good time because I can use the holidays to rest up and get back into it before Term 2 starts. I'll still make sure to post entries for the holidays because I am going to study. Accountability!
It isn't as interesting, but I've got some things going on in my personal life, too:
probably boring to you, v excite to me
So, I've saved up some money and decided that I'll go back to Japan (with a detour in South Korea!) in November, after exams. Since I went by myself last time, I really want to take my Mum so I can show her where I was, what I did and have her meet the families that generously hosted me for two months. Also, I only travelled to Kobe, Osaka, Himeji, Kyoto, Kanagawa (only residential), Tokyo and Enoshima. So, this time, I'd love to travel to different places and explore further into the North and South of Japan. My plans at the moment include Niigata, Hiroshima, Hokkaido (may be too cold...), Nara, and anywhere the time-frame and JR Pass can take us. The problem is, of course, when to book the tickets for. I'm anxious to get cheap flights but the VCAA Exam Timetable for 2018 doesn't get released until May. I'm thinking that I should just go off my assumption and hope for the best. For those interested, this is my predication for my exam times this year:
1/11/18 9:00-11:45 Psychology
7/11/18 9:00-10:15 Methods I
8/11/18 11:45-14:00 Methods II
13/11/18 9:00-11:45 Chemistry
15/11/18 11:45-14:00 English Language
The reason why, by the way, I'm trying to buy tickets so close to the end of exams in November is because (a) the earlier, the cheaper and (b) provided I actually get an interview, med interviews are held very early January and then O-Week, biology short course, relocating etc. will all have to happen in February. So, it's November to early December or nothing. I am - if you couldn't tell by the erratic planning - very excited.
Also, my cousin had a baby last week who I saw for the first time this week. I'm beginning to think that all the babies are so cute in our family that I'll really get a shock when I see an ugly one hahaha (just kidding!)
Anyway, have a great week everyone!! Hang in there !
Two more weeks left...! Well, technically only 5 days left :)
This week went by pretty smoothly. We did finally get our psychology SAC back! I got higher than what I did last year but I was still pretty disappointed it was only an improvement of 3%. I ended up getting three multiple choice questions wrong and one mark off short answer. I feel like one of those incorrect MCQs and the lost mark in SA were actually debatable. Well, actually, I had this episode of being like "what, she mustn't be an experienced marker because these are definitely correct!!"... only to calm down, think rationally, research a couple of points and come to the conclusion that I myself had exhibited "psychological projection" - which ironically enough, was one of the MCQ I lost. Blaming others > cognitive distortion > cognitive sign of stress. Sad times.
As for math, last time I said I got the same score as what I did for our first topic test. the story
Well, after these tests we have to write a report correcting and walking through what we got wrong. A very good idea, in my opinion. But as I was trying to rectify my mistakes I noticed that even though I was sure of the method, I just kept getting my answer. I consulted a friend who just eats through methods like it is breakfast and she thought my answers were right. Off to my teacher I go, hoping to get some closure. Instead, my teacher is adamant that his working was correct and no matter how many different ways I tried to elicit the "well, yeah, that's because -- oh" moment, it didn't come. He even said "this is a weird question - most questions on the exam will be like [insert random question]". Anyway, come later in the week, our teacher tells us to take out our tests and either add or deduct marks for guess which questions.
I am happy to say that my mark this time was 6% higher than the first, and I've got a nice positive trend happening. I won't say I'm too happy about the above, but I think things like this must happen, and it wasn't a SAC so...
A similar situation also occurred with English Language. We did our practice SAC and I came out feeling miserable. I had missed a question, didn't write a whole paragraph that I'd planned out, and wasn't really sure about anything at all. what happened
I had my SAC rescheduled in another room. However, some students rocked up late. Instead of starting immediately, the supervisors wanted to wait for them until it got late enough that the second just waltzed in after starting time. Of course, they and others had no idea what they were doing so they had assistance given to them loudly. And of course, the supervising teachers had a lovely banter while switching over, one had a nice chat with a student, and when one student needed help with the formatting of her assessment task, the supervisor just said 'I wasn't given any instructions' and after a long, loud dialogue between the two, the student was simply left to her own devices. Possibly the worst SAC conditions I have ever been in. I pride myself on having very good concentration in public, and really do believe that despite any disturbances I usually can keep focused. This time, though, I was hugely affected. And with no clock in the room, caught out early (actually, I wasn't given the full time for that reason as well), and left feeling awful.
But, I ended up getting a good mark and for the essay, only one mark off. Turns out I technically wrote three paragraphs because I squished situational and cultural context into one paragraph, when it should be two. Interesting. I've got the real deal this week. Hope I can pull off an even better mark.
In chemistry we are still going through redox. I had a good VET session learning about the skeletal system. Did you know babies aren't born with the kneecaps? Neither. Also, I am an addict to chiropractic videos on YouTube (check out Dr. Rahim - my fave), and so I was all up with the cervical, thoracic, lumbar lingo hahaha. The assessment we have is on workplace safety. Pretty good, I'm having fun.
Hope ya'll have had a good week, and another good one ahead!
[lol rip I already wrote this but closed the damn tab #rip]
Last week of term!
We had our last official day of school on Monday which was just spent talking among each other. We also had our retreat, which was another yearly tradition I was sad to farewell. I didn't have any spiritual revelations or epiphanies (lol) but it was nice to spend time with old and new friends.
I have been using Easter and the arrival of extended family to weasel my way out of studying and instead bingeing k-dramas (oops). But not to worry - bar working and hanging around with friends, I should have a break packed with study (bruh).
How was everyone's Easter? Mine was spent entertaining little ones, which is a very draining activity for me. I'm not so enticed by chocolates... oh, the joys of being (mildly) lactose intolerant.
Anyway, I'm going to record down an agenda for these holidays, as well as a little recap. Read if you wish! Otherwise, hope everyone has a fantastic holiday!
Going forward
(https://i.imgur.com/JFxYJAh.png)
Going back
I started this term by creating this Journey Journal! I'm still doing the same subjects, but haven't expanded much on Chinese drama-watching. Although, I am giving my friend the shits by reading her mother's Chinese texts to her and miraculously understanding them - very fun (and a boost to the ego). My interest in fashion is only blooming, but planning has come to a little bit of a standstill. I'm still aiming for Med, that lit ATAR, but have not made my bucket list yet (grr...).
I went to ATARNotes lectures, an independent lecture and some TSFX lectures - all for free, and without really utilizing the notes I got from them :( I'm sure I did unconsciously, right?
I took a Japanese friend around Melbourne and did my First Aid training.
I had my first day of Year 12, and began doing practice exams for UMAT. I had my first SAC - psychology, followed by chemistry. Finally, I had my English Language SAC. I had multiple math tests, but no SACs. I've done reasonably well on them, except for a doozy that I still regret now.
I got pretty sick twice this term, which resulted in a very tired me and some absences from school. More absences were created with Swimming Sports and Athletics Carnival, which were both great memories. Not to mention retreat, at the end.
Looking back, I notice how very little happened. It really seems like such a momentous achievement to get through Term 1, but in reality it is such a small hill. I've had a very good term, crashing a little in the middle but still going strong. I was surprised that even though I worded my posts carefully, most are a mix of "anxious" and other negative emotions. Time to shape up for the next term!!
And so the third week starts, with eight to go.
I've had a fairly average week. It was going pretty well but ended with a bang (of my head on the desk tbh).
Most notably, I had our second SAC for psychology. This subject in general is so daunting because I go into it expecting everything to be a walk in the park and always come out very shaken. tight timing: the boring backstory
My friends and I usually sit in the psychology room for recess and lunch. I was informed that students were still going on with the SAC during recess because they needed the full 50 minutes. Later on I also get an email saying to come in 5 minutes before class so they can start the SAC on time. Bad signs.
I was rushing towards the end, scared I wouldn't finish it all in time. I'm sure I did decently but still thinking I might be picked on for my laziness. Fingers crossed that results come out soon and I can update you.
We also did our second chemistry prac SAC which was, truth be told, a load of fun. Finally, me and my beloved lab partner managed to get through everything without me botching it up, get accurate results and even be second to finish up! An actual rarity. Our writeup is this Tuesday. I'm hoping for the same mark or better than what I got last time. I'd really like to move from 2nd into the lead rank, but will my lack of effort deserve it? (Hint: if it does, I'll probably feel guilty).
In methods we are doing calculus type stuff we have gone over already in Year 11. The revision is welcome but I just have no idea how I'll scrub up in this subject. I'm still doing like no practice questions so stay tuned to see how that comes back to bite me in the ass.
I had intended to do another UMAT practice exam this week but as you might have deduced from previous comments, I have been exceedingly lazy. This week, though, I'll work through it section by section. VET it's also going well - I'm doing a project on muscles which is pretty neat to be honest. I also managed to work this week and celebrate my best friend's 18th. Apart from those events, there were other causes for my slothenly behaviour. Namely, a new drama I have begun watching… uh oh
I cannot get enough of it. So much so that I noticed an Indonesian group had already subbed the most recent episode, and so I decided to do the logical thing. Which is, obviously, try to Google Translate all 600 lines of captions. Can you feel my desperation yet? I didn't end up violating the subtitles or the drama that way though, worry not. I shall be patient. It's just so good, even though the plot is just that of a couple trying to keep their relationship a secret from everyone...
Saving the worst for last: English Language. I didn't think I could hate this subject much more, but I guess this year is all about learning. (If you hadn't noticed, I've been trying to restrain myself from saying this in fear that writing it will actualise these counterproductive attitudes). It had been over a month without SAC marks being released. I was chill the whole time, because I was certain I would get my practice SAC mark or higher. I would have been happy with that. Instead, on the final period of Friday, I get back what was as equality surprising as it was disappointing.
The Reason by Hooberstank (SingStar anybody?)
Honestly, I don't think my writing changes all that much. I have been getting consistent marks for almost my whole high school career. So, that much of a discrepancy came as a huge shock. I then am told the green scribbles on my SAC are not my teacher’s, but an external marker’s. I cannot begin to explain how petty the corrections are and how infuriated I am. A classic example is this excerpt, where and I have written: “...they have a…”, and the “have” has been crossed out, with “enjoy” instead the preferred verb. I don't even know what to make of it. Will be updating later
However, I have reason to believe I'm still Rank 1. I have naively persuaded myself that it is all that matters but… sigh.
Good luck to all this week!
We are half way through the academic year! Another 5 months from now and we will be seeing the ends of our Unit 4 classes. Crazy, right?
Chemistry
We had our SAC, and I ended up doing well. It cured a lot of my mopey feels from last week and has motivated me.
I'm the type of person who is motivated easily from positive reinforcement - praise, good results, understanding things easily. When I get bad scores, teachers always say its good for me and would make me want to work harder. Little do they realise that while the concept makes sense, it delivers a huge blow to my ego and I'm less inclined to do more work. What side do you lean towards?
Electrolysis from now on! I feel like I have a good understanding of electrolysis so I'm looking forward to it.
Psychology
No results back yet. We are starting memory, which while boring is also the topic of our research task SAC thing...
My teacher assured me the poster is essentially the same as an ERC (from the previous study design) but just on a different piece of paper.
I'm really not looking to it though, and not looking forward to it in Chemistry either. If there's something that's going to trip me up...
Methods
One month until our big SAC. We will have our topic test this week (Tuesday, I think). After that, we are going into exponential and logarithmic functions, and after that circular functions. Those along with what we have done so far will be on the SAC. Apparently one lesson is an introductory lesson that isn't marked and can be used to clarify with peers and whatever. The only other thing I know is that it's a massive application task (or more than one, with the same central theme).
I'm usually okay at application tasks, but who knows...
English Language
I talked to my teacher about the SAC mark and I was largely unimpressed with her responses, to be honest. I won't go into it, but in the end nothing can be done about it. She was very complimentary of me and understood my concern with the mark. In the end, it wasn't a bad mark, my errors weren't huge, and I think I'll be okay going forward. It just so much harder now to work with a passion.
Others
I didn't end up doing the UMAT practice exam. It's just so hard to find a spare three hours, or even an hour here or there to do a single section. I will hopefully do some this week. I wish there was an app I could do sample problems with. To be honest, not having tutoring or preparation courses is beginning to make me worried. I begin to wonder if I'm really missing out.
Placement is fine. I ended up taking Thursday off and so I missed my class (+ double psychology) but it seems like we didn't do much.
Here are some thoughts I'm having:
What the UMAT reflects
I used to kind of despise the idea of the UMAT and didn't see what it really reflects in the individual that was so important in medicine. Now, I've kind of formed some impressions.
Section 1 assesses the ability to extract, comprehend and make deductions from data and information. I believe it reflects the role of a doctor as a teacher, and as a student. The doctor learns and imparts evidence-based, coherent, factual information to the patient. They educate the public, and research and learn to better themselves and their practice.
Section 2 assesses the ability to interpret emotions, see the patient as an individual, and provide an empathetic and trustworthy service. This section would reflect the role of a doctor as a carer. The doctor is a pillar of support, dependable confidant and a fellow person that serves and treasures their neighbours.
Section 3 assesses the ability to recognise patterns, observe the covert and exercise (appropriately) intuition as well as intellect. This section thereby reflects the role of a doctor as a problem solver. The doctor identifies symptoms, looks for fine detail, diagnoses and differentiates, and with any hope, 'solves' the problem the patient presents with. They examine what isn't obvious, and makes connections where others may not. Finding the missing part of the puzzle for the patient might be exactly what was needed, so a doctor asserts themselves a thinker and explorer.
To be honest, I don't think of myself as someone who plays these roles yet. I try, with some success. But what is most profound to me is the desire to be a teacher, a carer, and a problem-solver. When I doubted myself, someone said to me: you are still growing. With any hope, I can fulfill these large and sacred roles sometime in the future.
The paradoxical use of time in the final year of school
I treasure my family above anything else. Actually, my home consists of just my mother and myself. I've lived a somewhat solitary life, without siblings and with a mother who needed to work whenever the opportunity presented. In Year 12, I have become acutely aware that I will be moving away from this life and the comfort of our small home. Whether it's just an excuse, or whether I really do feel sentimental, I don't know. But when my mother's home, I hardly ever study. It seems like such a waste of time to study, instead of hanging around with her. It has made me think, that for those who do face my reality of moving away after Year 12 (many do), time spent bending over backwards to study should really be spent with family. Thinking forward, when will my life be like it is now? It won't, and I suddenly feel empty to think the 'normal thing to do' is shaft your family to second priority, and "study".
How to make study easy
Whilst contemplating why 'liking' something makes it so much easy to study for it, I've come to release something. On my profile one of the quotes I have is the Japanese idiom: 好きこそものの上手なれ - which means 'what one likes, one will do well'. I thought this to be true especially when I was studying Japanese. Why was it so easy to pick up? Why did I never tire of learning and practicing it?
It has dawned upon me recently that while an affinity for the subject is usually regarded as 'passion', there is another connotation to the word.
If you're passionate about a subject, it is more than likely that you're not passionate about the Unit 3 and 4 sequence, but the subject area itself. It's hard to explain, but I really love Japanese, yet hated taking it at school. What's the difference? I love linguistics, but don't like English Language. I love Chemistry in the VCE, but never really had an interest in it outside of school.
I looked to my teachers. Who were the best teachers I have had so far? My Japanese teacher - who teaches her mother tongue, her culture and upbringing. My Chemistry teacher - who used to be an industrial chemist, working for mining companies, manufacturers, you name it. They have such a endless, vast understanding and love for their subject. The "passion" seemed to be contagious. Only then did I realise that for both of those people, their subjects weren't something they had just studied at university, or taught because they were especially "good" at it. Both of them lived what they taught. To them, their areas of expertise weren't curricula and study design dot-points, but vocations, lifestyles, upbringings and hard-honed disciplines with open ends and seas of unknowns to explore.
I've decided, if I'm to enjoy what I'm studying, I cannot think of them as Study Designs, practice tests and powerpoints. I think that if I can see the subject rather as a discipline, with human, real applications, I can respect the subject, and therefore begin to appreciate it.
All the best for this week!!
Only 40 days until end of term! Anyone tune into the royal wedding? I'm by no means a royalist but I did watch it. Compared to Will and Kate's wedding I thought it was rather disappointing. What were your thoughts?
English Language
I was quite shocked last week to hear our teacher(s) were being replaced. Our new teacher, however, has made a good impression on me and I have high hopes. In saying that, we are meant to have a practice SAC Wednesday this week! I don't know how I feel about that at all. I feel grossly unprepared, and I managed to avoid putting in any effort this weekend again.
We had to do a roll-call-and-fact-about-yourself thing, but unlike the other class, we were asked about our plans for next year. One thing absurd about me is I hate telling people about my goals. Like loathe it. 13 Reasons Why (haha cringe...) and the implications:
I've been more open recently, through this forum and also in my interactions with the patients in oncology.
But nevertheless, I find it the most excruciating experience. People tend to pitch in their opinion: "Oh, but you'll be stuck in uni for years!", "medicine isn't the glamorous lifestyle like you see on TV!", "have you ever thought about teaching?" ... All of these I have heard within the last two weeks lmao.
Of course, I get a lot of praise and "you'll be a fantastic doctor", "we need people like you" etc. but either way, the decision is so close to my heart any judgement - positive or negative - feels raw and personal.
Especially, at my oncology placement, I am merely a Cert III student. Sometimes when people hear this, they revert to prejudicial thinking. When "I would like to do medicine" follows "I'm here once a week doing work experience for basically a TAFE course", eyes widen. It is quite unnerving.
It has really been an experience being a recipient of that kind of judgement. Unless I purposely choose to withold information (often I do, see above lol), telling people I was in the top three in the state for a foreign language subject in year 10 or whatever other thing I can brag about, obviously brought everything but those scoffs of disbelief.
I have the opportunity to tell those people : "actually...", so I know that my experience is not the same. It is, however, very interesting.
I recently wrote a post about my year 10 work experience at the Royal Melbourne and Royal Women's hospitals.
Actually, I made a point (and wrote about during the week I was there) about why I decided to say I was interested in "a career in the health sector" over blatantly saying medicine, and why I never told anyone about my school results or anything. I had decided that if I could still be told that I should be a doctor, or a nurse, or whatever, it was me that was suited to that recommendation, not my CV or ATAR.
I was pleased to be met with resounding encouragement and support. One theatre technician said he thought I would be a good doctor because I was determined, after having heard that I was making a four-hour return trip every day for those 40 hours of experience.
So with that, I lit a flame inside myself with the slight belief that maybe I could trust the judgement of those people.
Methods
Exps and logs aren't quite as hard as I had anticipated. High hopes but still yet to begin revision (time to pull my head in...!)
Chemistry
Our teacher is honestly my favourite teacher of all time. Just the sweetest person. I feel like I disappoint them a little bit, which isn't a nice feeling. But it makes me determined to make them proud.
SAC is soon, I think. Fingers crossed!
Psychology
Results came out at the very end of the week! Better yet, I was able to snag full marks. I'm very happy, and my opinion of the subject has improved slightly (haha)! Time to start some practice exams!
UMAT etc
I finally did the exam! I saw an improvement in S1 and about constant with S2. I didn't end up marking S3 because I fell asleep after doing a bit, which kind of nullified it's validity. I might try it again though.
At placement, I should be starting to go to Day Surgery instead of oncology! This is very exciting for me. Though I love the oncology staff and patients, I really took this opportunity to experience more surgery. I'll be detailing it closely if I am get to go on this week.
I'll end this post with a quote from my favourite book. I hope it inspires you and that you have a productive and exciting week!
Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity
P.S.
read about my work experience at the Royal Women's and Royal Melbourne Hospital in detail by clicking on the byline of this quote!
Hey man! Congrats on your psych results! And good luck for Englang :)
Can definitely relate with telling people about your post-VCE goals (though mine's not as specific and focused as yours ahaha), I was at a careers counselling appointment the other day and the dude was taking a drink when I said I'm interested in studying archaeology and nearly spat out his water. ;D
the decision is so close to my heart any judgement - positive or negative - feels raw and personal.
Just my 2 cents, doing med is obviously very important to you, remember that in the end it's your decision and others' opinions doesn't really have to impact you personally, after all it's not their future, it's yours. And anyway, you know yourself the best.
Spoiler
I always get told that history isn't a realist or stable career choice and I'll probably end up making less money than my future girlfriend lol ... Then I get compared to my 'much more sensible' twin sister who's aiming for a 99.90+ and wants to study science. I guess with comments like these along with stuff like 'have you considered teaching' (which I also get quite a lot) you just have to learn to tune them out.
Enjoy the rest of your week!
It's almost June - our midway point of the year! We have come a long way.
Chemistry
I've got our SAC penned down for Tuesday. I'm pretty confident I'll do okay, but I really want to get a better mark than last time. Not that this matters all that much, but our semesterly academic awards are probably being decided soon. I do think that I'm in the running for chem. I've got competition, no doubt, so I won't be surprised if it's not me. But if I can smash out this SAC, I'll at least put myself in good stead.
Psychology
In terms of the academic award, I'm pretty set. We do have our research poster SAC coming up, which is what I have been most worried about. I'm hoping that we will be well prepared and our teacher might be able to look over a draft I do. Something like that would definitely reassure me.
Methods
Our SAC is well and truly set for a week from now! It will go over four days. We were able to get last year's SAC, and it really wasn't that hard at all. I'm not too worried, thanks to that. My plan of revision is not going so well (lol) but there isn't actually that much to do, I've found. Since the application questions (and generally just harder questions in the textbook) use a lot of different skills and use polynomials as well as logs/exps, I feel like I'm getting good practice anyway. (Am I just lying to myself?? Haha)
English Language
I don't know if it's just my school, but I really do have a hatred for this subject. I'm so disappointed, since I thought I would love it. But instead of being an English-based subject with room for individual thought, I feel like all my answers are compared against a model. If it's the same as the model, marks are awarded; if it is different, marks are taken away. When I get 3/4 or something, the response I always have to swallow down is "you didn't mention x". God forbid I wrote something else, or didn't think x was a key feature in the text (it wasn't).
I don't mind the content, or even the writing. Just the marking is so difficult to understand.
These sentiments are in light of the practice SAC I did last week. I did slightly better than my real first SAC, but still inexplicably worse than every other year I've done English at this school. I'm beginning to wish that I had have just done general English. I would have had stable, qualified staff (and not just one or two!), loads of resources and more freedom of expression.
Real SAC is next week...
UMAT etc.
No day surgery for me lol. Apparently the majority of it gets finished in the morning, while I come in the afternoon. I'll use my holidays to go and see some procedures :)
I haven't done much for UMAT. We will see how I go this week. I'm not going to put too much time into it, considering the volume of SACs.
Exams
I was spot on my predictions!!! Hahaha. That was honestly the highlight of my week... obviously not the best week I've had lol. These were my original predictions:
the predictions
1/11/18 9:00-11:45 Psychology
7/11/18 9:00-10:15 Methods I
8/11/18 11:45-14:00 Methods II
13/11/18 9:00-11:45 Chemistry
15/11/18 11:45-14:00 English Language
my actual timetable
1/11/18 9:00-11:45 Psychology
7/11/18 9:00-10:15 Methods I
8/11/18 3:00-5:15 Methods II
13/11/18 9:00-11:45 Chemistry
16/11/18 11:45-14:00 English Language
All were right (including the day I had predicted the timetable would be up hoho) except that methods is in the 3:00-5:15 session (my mistake...why would exam II be an hour long?), and English Language is on the Friday, not Thursday.
And if you're wondering why it means so much to me that I was right: I bought plane tickets for immediately after when I thought I would finish my exams! And yes, I was very lucky. I am leaving for Japan the day after my English Language exam lmao. I have to say, though, it makes the trip that much more exciting.
Other than that, my impression of my timetable is great! I have my psychology exam first, followed by six days until my two methods exams. It follows that I should be preparing solely for psychology until then, and dedicate the week in between to math, math and more math. Continuing on, I have another five days until my chemistry exam, with the EL exam two days after that. I guess it's best to spend most of those five days on chemistry, but also to not neglect EL. I could either use those two days beforehand to study, or maybe to pack (lmao).
I don't think this kind of plan really works in reality. It's best to study for all subjects so you have them all active in your mind, and don't forget anything. Plus, it's boring to focus on one thing for like a week. Let's cross that bridge when we come to it.
How was everyone's timetable?
Good luck for this week!
This week's quote is from 괜찮아, 사랑이야 ("It's Okay, That's Love") - the drama my forum name is based upon. They are quoting from the poem, 바람이 오면 (When the wind comes) by 도종환 (Do Jong Hwan).
바람이 오면 When the wind comes,
오는 대로 두었다가 Leave it just as it came,
가게 하세요 Let it go
그리움이 오면 When longing comes,
오는 대로 두었다가 Leave it just as it came,
가게 하세요 Let it go
아픔도 오겠지요 Pain will also come,
머물러 살겠지요 It will stay and live,
살다가 가겠지요 It will live, and it will go
세월도 그렇게 The years also the same,
왔다가 갈 거에요 They will come and they will go,
가도록 그냥 두세요 Leave them to go
It's less than a month til end of term. My last day falls on the 28th, and I can't wait for it to come.
This week I'm starting with my UMAT etc. section (lol). In last week's entry, I was disappointed to admit that I couldn't go into theatre despite my hopes and dreams :( But this week... I had my first day in Day Procedure! I was able to watch ophthalmological surgery for my whole shift. I saw cataract surgery with and without an iStent, which is a set of two stents put in the eye to depressurise it and treat glaucoma. The stents are incredibly tiny - I couldn't even see them on the magnified image! I was able to meet some great staff and patients, and observe eye surgery close up. The surgeon even let me look through the surgical microscope a couple times, before video was fed from the microscope to an external monitor in some of the later surgeries. It was great to see the 'live stream' because I could understand it better and actually see the quadrants being removed and the new lens being inserted and folding out.
Unfortunately, I haven't done much in terms of the UMAT... it's less than two months until the big day. I think I'll use my holidays for UMAT study and chemistry as a priority, followed by psychology practice exams and EL.
My chemistry SAC ended the same as my other SACs this year. It is good that I'm consistently getting good marks, but frustrating that I'm not improving markedly. We have our poster SAC coming up which is a little gross, but I have high hopes. Actually, it sounds a little fun. After doing that, I hope I can finally finish off Unit 4 notes. I still haven't progressed past the spectroscopy chapter. Hopefully I'll get the last few done soon.
This week I have the big methods SAC. We got some past SACs, and it actually doesn't look hard at all. The possibility I'm underestimating it is very high, but I think it's good to hold some confidence. I'm just thinking about what questions are the differentiating questions... i.e. the ones that differentiate the above average form the average.
In psychology recently, we are looking at research methods. Having done it already, I'm not too concerned. I'd rather focus on the parts of research methods that I don't understand as well, like standard deviation, reliability/validity/accuracy and conclusion-drawing, etc...
Our research poster is also coming up soon in this subject, most likely sooner than chemistry. I'm not as excited and a little more nervous, since I don't know what to expect. Oh well, eventually I'll find out.
English Language... we have the remainder of our SAC this week. I can't wait to get it over with.
I've been thinking recently about the practicalities of studying medicine.
How will I earn enough money to support myself? Where will I live? How often will I go home? It's not easy.
Because I will have a Certificate III from the VET Health package, I should be able to get Recognition of Prior Learning and complete other certificates more quickly. For example, Cert III of Pathology Collection. If I can get afternoon shifts (like, I don't know, 6-10PM?), then it could be a good way to earn money and experience.
I wish the Cert I'm doing was enough, but it doesn't qualify me to hold that many responsibilities.
If I could have done pathology collection this year, i would have - but it's age-restricted at most RTOs. :(
On the bright side, I did learn that the BMedSc/MD is accredited not just in Australia, but Malaysia and Singapore! That's pretty cool, and something I didn't know.
Hope everyone has a good week. Only a week until the GAT!
I tell my students, "When you get these jobs that you have been so brilliantly trained for, just remember that your real job is that if you are free, you need to free somebody else. If you have some power, then your job is to empower somebody else."
We are now 2/3 through the academic year!
English Language
I was right - all my issues have been addressed and I'm finally feeling like how I should in this subject. I found out on Friday that I am rank 1, which is a huge relief and encouraging to hear. We have our resit tomorrow, so hopefully I can smash out the score I should have got originally :P
We have also finally started on Sec C writing. I'm quite happy to finally be writing proper essays.
Also looking forward to the ATARNotes lecture. I'm going on the 15th!
Methods
Now that the SAC is over, we are finally getting our hands dirty with circular functions. It is pretty good so far but apparently it gets much harder. I'm not too worried; I'm usually okay with the more complex areas (and mess up the easy parts).
Our practice exam is on Wednesday. I'll have placement on Tuesday but after that I should have time to revise.
I'm going to the ATARNotes lecture on the 7th (afternoon session).
Chemistry
We are still going back and forth between the practical investigation and Unit 4 content. Not much new. I imagine, coming to the end of the term, I am either rank 1 or rank 2ish. I'm fairly confident I'm pretty high up there, but am not sure of how others are comparing. I guess I will find out in time.
The practice exam is on Thursday and the 7th (morning session) for ATARNotes lectures.
Psychology
We finished our results section last week. I was a little cheeky and decided to go out for lunch with some work friends in my double free before the SAC but it was okay because it wasn't such a difficult section. I am rank 1 for psych ending this semester.
I have the exam on the Thursday and the afternoon ATARNotes lecture on the 15th.
I should have time after methods to study for both Chem and Psych :)
Probably not the greatest idea to be cutting studying so finely but I wasn't exceptionally concerned (it is a practice after all). Plus, SACs obviously take priority.
UMAT etc.
These holidays will basically be UMAT preparation. I've got the lecture on the 1st, and after that I'm throwing myself entirely into all of the practice exams I said I would done by now (haha).
I was lucky last week to have seen oral maxillofacial surgery. I saw three wisdom teeth extractions. I actually had a really good chat with the anaethestist (who I learner after was one of the best in the area). Chemistry in Medicine (Anaesthetics)
I was super excited to see a direct application of chemistry in medicine. I know chemistry is super important for med, but I always thought it was primarily needed for understanding the underlying logic.
The patient that came in to have their wisdom teeth extracted had a recorded anaphylactic reaction to a local anaesthetic called lidocaine (also called lignocaine). This is difficult for the anaethestist because apparently most local anaesthetics, including lidocaine, have an amide functional group. It might not be what causes the allergic reaction, but in any case, all of the locals are similar in chemical makeup. He decided to test an alternative, slowly and carefully. She had a small reaction (histamine release observable through flushing of the skin). But, he also decided not to use adrenaline. Adrenaline is injected to induce vasoconstriction (construction of the blood vessels). This makes the bleeding easier to deal with for the surgery. There might be other uses, but they didn't seem too concerned to not use it.
It led me to two questions: did they not use adrenaline because it also has an amide group? (Does it?? Idk)
If she did have a anaphylactic recation, isn't adrenaline the go-to treatment? What would she have instead?
Anyway, super interesting.
I enjoyed watching the surgery as usual. But I have realised that I think I'm better suited to delicate procedures. Things like teeth extraction, orthopedics or other specialities that involve a fair amount of "manpower" seem difficult for a someone like myself. I'm sure after training and practice I could do it, but I think I should play to my strengths. I don't have much strength, but I have dexterity and am light-handed. So, I thought, something like opthalmology, vascular surgery, plastic surgery etc. are more "my thing". We shall see!
Anyway, it was great.
I have let loose ending this term lol. I'm not only bingeing Korean Dramas, but actually watching three simultaneously lmao.
If you're curious
Lawless Lawyer, What's Wrong with Secretary Kim? and Are you Human Too? lol
I like Lawless Lawyer best (but then again, it's almost finished). AYHT is weird but good... the male lead is great and his character is cute, I have to admit. WWWSK is a bit cringe but ofc cute. Can't resist lol.
I've also had a few 18ths recently, with even more during the holidays. Not to mention needing to start planning my own.
Hope you all have a great last week/first week!
"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."
Welcome to the Term 2 Holidays!
I've had a couple of parties, many hours of lazing around and a few spent cleaning to kick off this long-awaited break.
What have you all been up to?
Last week, we had our practice exams. To be honest, I can't even remember too much about them (lol).
how did ur exams go?haha
Methods, from memory, was okay. I had a bad morning in terms of transport, and forgot my notes (I didn't end up needing them, thank God). There were a few questions I couldn't do, which is a pity. From my very hazy recollection of it, I think my impression wasn't too bad. On the other hand, chemistry was way harder than expected. A rude wake-up call, to say the least. I got spooked because I thought my teacher was sitting behind me (as a "kind-of" invigilator) and I was so ashamed and embarrassed thinking of him correcting my exam.
Our English Language "exam" was a partial resit of our first Unit 3 SAC. I managed to bump my mark to one that is in the range I'm happy with. With that, all my qualms with English Language have been resolved. I now just have to regain confidence, get reinspired and try my hardest. Fingers crossed. Psychology was pretty manageable. I think there was a MCQ I was a bit unsure about, but the rest seemed pretty okay? Thinking about it now, I didn't take much notice of mark allocation. Fingers crossed for that too.
in light of that, I think most of my holidays will be dedicated to chemistry and methods (after UMAT prep, of course).
so what are you doing for the holidays??ha
I have some "holiday homework" for each subject. I'll hopefully get them done as a minimum, and then delve into Unit 4 Chemistry a little further, and revise what I can in methods. As for EL and Psychology, I'll be doing more exam-based study and perhaps Unit 4 work for EL (psychology is already done and dusted!! Feels good).
But, the biggest priority is UMAT. I don't want to waste too much time on it but I will be kicking myself I do badly and find fault of not trying my hardest to prepare. I do have to confess: I didn't go to the UMAT lecture on Sunday (today). I had two friends going, and asked them to send some notes. From what they described, it sounds very similar to a lecture I went to by the same company some time ago.
Instead, I have begun "moving out" (lmao). I've looked through my stuff that has been in storage and sorted through it. Next will be my clothes. But that will more be sorting through and refreshing my wardrobe in general, rather than packing things away to take at the end of the year.
Alright, enough boring tangents. This is my plan for these holidays. I will be marking my progress, so I am really planning to stick to it (sigh).
I've made two accomplish-able tasks per day, with an "else". Its purpose is to act is an alternative to one of the tasks I don't feel like doing, or as an extra task that I could do. For example, I have put part-time work for when I told my employer I'm available, but there's no guarantee I'll actually get the shift! In that case, I'll follow the "else" case.
Other points for clarification are "UMAT Study" and "U4". "UMAT Study" refers to drills, practice questions on the Internet, redoing past questions I got wrong or other things that don't have time constraints. It's essentially a buffer so I'm not doing exam after exam with little improvement. "U4" refers to Unit 4 work. That could be prereading, note-taking, Unit 4 practice questions, Edrolo, whatever... as long as its unlearned content. I'll leave the revision to the holiday homework tasks (maybe).
(https://i.imgur.com/IPFvGpx.png)
I don't know how much I'll have to reschedule based around friends and social commitments. I don't have anything planned yet but things never end that easily lol. Oh well, that's what holidays are for, right?
Oh, and also for watching dramas of course. I have managed to start a 4th drama (which I will probably finish by tomorrow or the next day tbh). One of my others will finish tomorrow. Will I find another to fill its place? Probably.
What are your plans for these holidays? I hope that they are as productive as they are fun :)
Best of luck!!
If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit.
The first week of the holidays are over rip
Overall this week, I have been "resting". I worked part-time Wednesday, Thursday and Friday but haven't been to the clinic so far. I'll have to do that in the second week of holidays. The burden of having to 'make-up' hours as actually more than I thought. I know that I'll enjoy it once I'm there, but being honest I just don't want to on the precious few holidays I have.
ACU Experience Day
You might be wondering: why did you go to ACU? It's true: I have no intention of going to ACU, actually. But a fair majority of my friends do. So I decided to go with them and check out what activities they had to demonstrate their courses.
Physiotherapy
I must say I am surprised at the competition for admission to this course. It's no joke. For the activity, we had a scenario in which a high-school netball player sprained her ankle. We went through three workshops simulating 'how a physiotherapist would think'.
My first rotation was with a first-year student who showed us anatomical models of the ankle. He showed us representations of ligaments on both sides, which helped us conclude that the sprain is most likely over-stretching of the lateral ligaments of the ankle, since there are fewer ligaments than the medial side that keep the joint stable. We then did some assessment by doing a triple jump and balancing on each leg (with and without eyes closed).
The second rotation was with a pressure mat runway. It assessed the cantor, length of stride, width of steps etc. to assess the walk and run of our group members. Apparently it can give clues to injury in that if one side has a longer time on the ground, the other side may be injured. Or that wide steps may indicate less stability, or perhaps an overweight or elderly person. Those kinds of things. I found out that my stride is average to fast-paced and my feet are close together as I walk (indicating good balance, but also a possible explanation as to why I tend to kick myself while walking lmfao).
Finally, a third-year student taped one of our group members' ankles. I really wanted it done (lol) but I was wearing tights. I actually thought it was like a bandage she could just put over the top and then remove, but it's actual tape. See in action: my exceptional(ly poor) athleticism.
Overall, I actually had a good time. Physiotherapy looks interesting and I thought the activity was engaging for prospective (and non-prospective lol) students.
Nursing and Paramedicine
The workshop was split into two halves: nursing, and then paramedicine.
The nursing rotation first involved proper hand-washing technique. Having traumatic flashbacks from weeks upon weeks of assignments about hand hygiene at VET, I reluctantly put my knowledge to good use. Feeling clean but ultimately defeated, we returned only to be met by UV lights. This was more exciting. I stood proudly under the blue light with squeaky-clean hands (bar a mark from having to touch the bin as I disposed of the paper towel). Even when they went "what about her wrists!" I knew I had one-upped them thanks to my specialized VCAL-level classes. My friends were less lucky and more grubby, especially around their fingernails. All the years of childhood obsessive-compulsive hand-washing and current obsessive-compulsive hand-sanitizing have paid off!
Something interesting to note is that moisturized hands are also a part of good hand hygiene. Dry skin has less of a barrier and is therefore more susceptible to harboring bacteria. I thought the moisturizer was next to the hand sanitizer at work purely because frequent sanitizing can feel uncomfortable.
After that, we played around with stethoscopes and oxygen-saturation monitors. Good fun. I thought listening to a heart beat would be ridiculously hard but it's surprisingly loud through the stethoscope.
The paramedicine rotation was largely a student panel. I have to say, paramedicine doesn't seem that great at all. I'd always had suspicions, but the way the course coordinator and students spoke confirmed it for me. Apparently trauma cases are relatively rare in the field, and most cases are the elderly falling in their homes or false-alarm calls (aka "frequent fliers" apparently). It requires a good level of physical fitness, and unlike nursing involves larger occupational risks like that from needing to 'lift' people off the floor etc. In nursing, there are 'no-lift' policies which seem more desirable. I thought that paramedics are admirable people, because the job isn't all the excitement most people would think it is, and requires a lot of patience, training and physical sacrifice. In saying that, it is definitely not the area for me.
We got to look inside a training(?) ambulance which was cool. They somehow piled the whole group inside, so I didn't get to see much. My general impression is that it is a lot smaller than what one would think.
Overall, I enjoyed the nursing rotation and found the paramedical rotation a genuine demonstration of reality as a paramedic, rather than a marketing ploy. Pretty good.
The ACU Experience Day was great in my opinion. Free food, marketing foods, snacks, activities and something different to a regular Open Day. Would recommend.
ATARNotes Lectures
I went to the chemistry and math methods lectures on Saturday.
The chemistry lecture was pretty good, although didn't cover much of what I didn't already know. I am still stuck at analytical techniques in my note-taking, so I thought that part of the lecture would be helpful. I thought the lecture did I great job explaining it, but I still felt (and assume others also felt) totally lost. I still would not have substituted that part for amino acids or something though. I thought it was a good lecture with good, clear explanation and overall well thought-out.
Methods was another story. I enjoyed the probability part because it seemed easy. However, our school hasn't even touched integration yet. So I was totally lost through the first part of the lecture (it was quite brisk as well, which didn't help). After a while, the probability also started getting integrated?(idk) which was beyond me. We decided to go since we had to catch a V-Line back anyway. I also nearly tripped so if you saw that idiot, it was me (hi). I'll definitely be consulting the PowerPoint later, but the lecture really wasn't aimed at my school's level. It would have been great if integration or some difficult concept was taught slowly, but I have been told integration is Unit 3 anyway. Shows where my school is at rip.
From what I did stay for though, the lecturer seemed very knowledgeable and did explain things well. A bit too quick at times, but maybe that's because I'm slow haha
Great as always, ATARNotes!
Yes, so, I haven't followed my plan. Do I ever?
As a consequence, I'll add 1x UMAT exam, 1x UMAT study 1x EL exam and chem and methods homework to this week's list.
In lieu of actual productivity, I have started yet another drama, read The Barefoot Investor, taken advantage of the $50 energy comparison thing and compared insurance policies for my Mum (including unnecessary ones in her super). Make sure your parents aren't paying for two life insurance policies unknowingly (smh).
Have a good week everyone
Not all of us can do great things, but we can all do small things with great love
This is such a good journal. Nothing productive to say apart from "I'm really enjoying this" haha.
Thank you so much!! Means a lot coming from you :)
It’s literally 10 days until the UMAT.
I don’t know why I wasn’t more aware of it being just on my tail but wow it’s soon.
This week was slightly more productive than last week. Slightly.
I worked two days during this week from 8am until 8:30pm. No theatre time, unfortunately.
Progress on homework and any practice exams is non-existent. Although, I’ve done a bit of a UMAT practice exam, done some drills and watched a few videos.
I was also going to go to the ATARNotes lectures today, but I didn’t have enough money to travel to Melbourne. Lucky we have the powerpoints to refer back to :)
On the bright side, I can see some improvements in my health. My skin is looking good, I don’t feel tired all the time, and I don’t have the aches and pains I used to get during the term. I don’t feel all that stressed and have been having fun these holidays.
Maybe when I read this at the end of the year, I’ll resent my decisions. But at the moment, I feel good.
There are also only 22 days until the Monash Open Day (Clayton/Caulfield). Which means there are 23 until VTAC applications open. The Open Day planner has been released, so I decided to use it. This year, I will probably go to Monash only.
5th August Plan
First I'll go to the Caulfield campus. Yes, just like when I went to ACU, you might be wondering: why? 1) I've never been to the Caulfield Campus and it looks pretty nice 2) art is my secret interest/hobby and my mum's life (lol).
So, we will visit the Fine Art Market first. Depending on how long we stay, we will then either go to the Fine Art exhibition or straight to a Fine Art workshop. After, we will go to a printmaking workshop.
Then, we will catch the bus over to Clayton and have some lunch. The main priority will be touring residences and Mannix College. If we have time left over, I'll make my way around the “What is Medicine like?” And “Medicine in Regional and Rural Victoria” booths.
Then maybe some dinner? That'd be nice.
Have you thought about what you'll go to? Or what university you'll visit? Any recommendations for me?
I’m not looking forward to next week. I think we have our chemistry poster SAC on the second day back, which sucks. I’m also starting a new subject that is about ethics and morality. It’s a throwback to philosophy, hopefully somewhat relevant to med interviews (provided I get one oops) but more than anything an absolute nightmare. I don’t mind engaging in moral discussions with people of my choosing but oh boy have I been in a few junior English/Humanities classes that made my blood boil.
Oh well. We take it in our stride. I have this feeling it will all be okay in the end. Maybe I am just complacent (...exactly what I said I wouldn’t be in my first entry rip).
Enjoy the last of your holidays all and keep working hard!
“Be grateful for what you already have while you pursue your goals. If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more.”
How are you feeling about umat at the moment? Are you going to the morning or afternoon session? I've been trying to watch the acer video solutions but the speakers are all so slow and I miss my usual video 2x speed :'(
Absolutely relatable lmao. I'm becoming concerned that I watch so many videos at 2x that I'll begin speaking that way too hahah. 3 minutes? Try one, squid. lmao
I'll be going to the afternoon session in Melbourne!
There are three sleeps until the big day. You'd think I'm counting down to Christmas.
How am I feeling about the UMAT?
I definitely feel that I dropped the ball in terms of preparation. Hopefully before Wednesday I will have done 4 full exams and 2 half-exams.
Look, honestly, I don't think that's too bad. I know I could have done more, and I occasionally feel that I should, but it will be what it will be.
In terms of emotions, I'm not going to lie. I'm not exactly excited for Wednesday. But I don't have any feeling of dread or defeat. I'm looking forward to getting it over with, and just giving it my best shot.
I don't feel like I will get something amazing like 100th or 95th percentile, but I feel confident that I will get
enough. Do I think that realistically, I'll probably get low 80th? Yes. But will I walk into that room determined to smash every question perfectly and demand from the ACER gods a 99th percentile? Absolutely.
My stars sing to a different tune though:
07-23-2018 to 07-29-2018
Early this week, you might not be able to keep putting on that brave or happy face, Virgo. So why not let yourself feel what you're really feeling? The passionate Sun is swirling through self-expressed Leo in your twelfth house of closure, compassion and healing. That alone can dredge up intense emotions, but on the 25th this heavenly heavyweight squares off with volatile Uranus in your candid and self-reliant ninth house. After weeks or months of putting up with an increasingly intolerable situation, you might hit a breaking point.
...great. Luckily, it's Venus opposing Neptune etc so hopefully this is more about relationships than it is about academics!
The game plan
My best section by far is section 2. During reading time, I'm going to read all the passages/questions and then blitz through them first while still fresh in memory.
Next, I'll take on section 3. My section 3 scores are comparable with my section 1 scores, but non-verbal reasoning isn't as agonising and takes me less time to get through. Keeping a close eye on the time, section 1 will be the last stretch.
I'll leave five (or more) minutes at the end to guess any questions I haven't yet answered, or to check over. Maybe both in 10 minutes of I have it?
Section by section is a bit daunting but I think it's not such a bad idea. Let's hope it works out.
For all UMAT participants
GOOD LUCK this week. Remember that as you decided to take this test, you decided that you are good enough. You had confidence then, you had determination. Keep that fire burning and remind yourself once in a while that you deserve this, that you are smart and good enough for this. Remind yourself that everything will be okay: trust in yourself - trust the part of you that said "I can do this" when you signed up. You can and you will!
Chemistry
I am disappointed to say I wasn't awarded for chemistry this semester. I'll be following it up though, since I do have some suspicions... stay tuned.
Practice exam marks were not so good. Oops. "Enough correct for now"... I do love my teacher bahaha.
My practical investigation was a scary experience and I was super nervous. My introduction was far too long which sent me right of balance for the rest. Luckily, my score was quite pleasing and consistent with my previous marks.
Psychology
I was able to get the award for Psychology as I had expected, so that was nice. We got our practice exam marks back and though mine was good, my teacher warned me I wouldn't be happy with it. I wasn't. I've got a bit of fine-tuning to go before the final exams.
We are in the final stages of practical investigations. Feeling good.
English Language
Award here too, which is nice.
I haven't done the practice exam yet because I was lazy and "because of the UMAT".
Our SAC is coming up soon. I'm feeling grossly underprepared. It's a Sec A and Sec C... I haven't even written one section C yet this year... Yikes!
Methods
No awards here, and I wasn't expecting any lol. SAC marks were pretty similar to chemistry. Does that mean my Chem exam was particularly bad, or that my methods exam was particularly good? I'll let you decide.
Circular functions test is coming up. Also not quite prepared for that.
Overall, the term has come to a clumsy start but all will be well. They say this term is the killer. And, yes, having done year 12 since what, Year 9? I know that to be true. But I think we will survive this. I've still got some fight left in me.
Good luck this week everyone and keep working hard!!
And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men
The UMAT is finally over! The next thing I'm counting down to is the VTAC registrations opening, which is in 8 days from today!
For anyone who did the UMAT, congratulations! Let's hope the wait won't be too agonising.
The UMAT
I thought I'd give a quick overview, and a really in depth one below in the spoiler tag for those really interested.
I started with Section 2, which honestly speaking, I thought was easy as pie. I couldn't believe it when I started, and thought wow I might have a chance!
Section 3 came next and it is was… hard. Slow and painful. I thought I was okay at non-verbal reasoning but yikes. It was like nothing I had ever done before. Section 1 was more pleasant, but after that scare I wasn't feeling as confident.
I wasn't too nervous in the morning, and actually had a good time. I was quite excited, and felt somewhat “important” being in a hall with all those people and such tight protocol.
Overall, the UMAT was generally harder than expected. But for some reason, I don't feel like I completely bombed it. I don't really think I did that well, either, but I'm keeping my head high with the hopeful thought that things probably were okay.
The Day, in Detail
Apparently the morning sessions start at 8am. Initially, the afternoon sessions were starting at 1pm. Tickets were released a week before the test, and had the arrival time listed: 1:30. On the day, I went down early by train with my mum. We had brunch in the city, and shopped for a little bit before going to Flinders St Station en route to Caulfield. We walked to the main gate (23) and all the kids from the morning session were leaving the grounds. It was really intimidating to watch their reactions and I felt stupid for having arrived an hour early. In the end, I was happy I arrived early. I went to the bathroom, found my zone, and waited with my mum until a loudspeaker announced it was time to enter. Everyone crowded at the door, with two stations of two invigilators checking ID and tickets. People formed two lines, and went in slowly. My mum looked on from afar, but some people's parents waited in line with them. Some took photos of their children entering, which is against protocol, as they discovered.the invigilators were pleasant and checked the documents well. We received a small, coloured, entry pass and followed another two invigilators to our seats. The seats were not assigned. They were in chronological order based on time of entry. It was only 1:30 after I had been seated, and we sat in silence listening to the invigilators, filling in the entry sheet, playing with ID (lol), going to the bathroom freely if needed, and not doing much until the exam actually started at 2:14 (I think). That means we were there until 5:14. I made it back to the station at 5:40 which suggests we were kept in for a little while after finishing.
Overall, the atmosphere is tense. People are visibly nervous and the mood isn't great. People gossip outside about what's right and wrong, how much they prepared etc… pretty toxic. I was glad I could sit and chat with someone who genuinely supported me and encouraged me instead of instilling fear.
But I think it is what you make of it. I didn't listen to those people, didn't look at others to see how nervous they were, or care about anyone else except for myself. A girl and I even had a chuckle together while the exam room when the invigilator made a mistake speaking. It was definitely the hardest test I've taken, but the experience wasn't all bad.
If you have any questions, do post a reply or shoot me a PM. More than happy to answer
VTAC
I'll be heading to Monash this Sunday. The day after, VTAC applications open. I don't know why I'm so keen but I already sorted my preferences and done the “demo” applications on the website. Maybe it's because the end seems closer? Or graduating and moving on feels more real?
If you're interested, my preferences are as follows:
Preferences
BMedSci/MD (CSP) @ Monash
BMedSci/MD (ERC) @ Monash
BMedSci/MD (BMP) @ Monash
BSci (CSP) @ UoM
BSci (CSP) @ Monash
BA @ UoM
BA @ Monash
BBSci @ RMIT
Bit unsure about whether I should put ERC or BMP first. I put BMP after because I figured it might be super inconvenient for me to have to honour that bond 10-15 years down the track. I don't want to inflict a burden upon my future self, even though I think working in a regional setting is probably something I plan on doing myself anyway.
I'm also not sure about BSci at Monash or UoM for 4th. If there's an opportunity to get into Monash Med via transfer (highly doubt it) then Monash… otherwise, UoM has always been my university of choice.
Chemistry and Psychology
I am still in the midst of gathering Intel about the award. I've got pretty good reason to believe that the recipient wasn't actually rank 1, but in the end it looks like I'll have to embarrass myself and ask the teacher. Other than that, nothing much is happening in chemistry. In psychology, we just started Mental Health. We finally finished our scientific posters, but no results yet!
Methods and VET
I have my circular functions test at home which I have to complete today (lol). We started integration which is fine. It looks somewhat straightforward. I hope I'm not in for any nasty surprises.
I didn’t go to VET last week because we had a school event, which was lots of fun as the graduating class. I also didn't go to placement because I dedicated that Tuesday before the UMAT to studying. The course is going well, but is super repetitive. I've never had to write so many hazard and risk assessments in my life.
English Language
I have to write a practice Sec C today as well. We have our practice SAC over Tuesday and Wednesday (?) this week, and it looks like the real SAC isn't being pushed back even though she did suggest it.
My hatred for EL continues to burn, and I really don't know how I'll go. I'm going to have to get really good at these essays in the short, short span of a week… sigh.
I presented at a Japanese SL lecture this morning run by the teachers association. It's my third time doing so, but I was super happy to do it again. I hope I can keep doing so next year but there's no telling. I was nervous but I think (and hope) it didn't show!
I've also got a debating thing this week (I don't debate, I'm just an emergency/assistant) and Parent-Teacher Interviews.
What a week :)
Wish not for others’ failure, but for your own fortune
Yes, I decided to be a little poet today. I thought I should, since I came to think this recently. A lot of people ask me whether I would consider myself a competitive person. I think I am. I like to win, I try hard and I never settle. But when someone said to me “I hope you beat her” in regards to the UMAT, this idea sprung to mind. In fact, I didn't care what “her” performance was, or what she was doing. I only knew that I wanted to do great for myself. I would have much rathered “I hope you do well” to “I hope she does badly”.
I hope you guys, especially in Year 12, upon hearing such toxic and unkind words, remember that only your success – not someone else's failure – is your success.
Stay kind and have a great week !
VTAC applications open today!
It is a weird feeling… finally we’ll be taking that first step towards the transition process!
Monash Open Day
I had a great day today at the Monash Open Day!
First, as per our plan, we went to the Caulfield campus. We had some coffee in the Caulfield Library before exploring Building D. We looked at all the student work on display, listened to my mum reminisce about art school, and lied to the teachers about wanting to do Fine Art. I even said I was doing Studio Art at school lmfao. Even though I'm not in any way meeting the prereqs doesn't mean I don't fantasize about taking a creative journey instead of medicine!
I actually had a blast doing the Fine Arts workshop.
There were some stools and ladders in the centre of the room, to be drawn. Not in their static idleness, but with movement as the teachers hurled them around the room. The challenge was to capture movement in a still image. I started off using different colours to try to represent time - the darker the colour, the more recent the movement. I then went into ”tracking” the ladder foot with a single line, eventually opting to having a mixture of line and superimposed shape.
After we had completed the exercise, we had to project our image to the wall with coloured tape. I really enjoyed this. I used my original lines and superimposition combined with the colour of the tape to capture dynamics and change. My image looked very graphic-design, with a set colour scheme, clear geometry and sharp angles.
We then had to integrate the images to the left and right of the wall into our own, to create continuity around the room. It was fun to decide how two interpretations could reach a common ground of style.
So awesome. I signed myself up for a September workshop even though I'm probably not the main audience. I just had such a good time.
We then were able to get student prints from the Student Market for a donation. We got a strong, red and black, 1984-esque image depicting surveillance and exposure through eyes, doors and bold colour. Really cool.
After, we made our own lino prints! Unfortunately the design was already done, but using Monash’s facilities was a good experience and getting to take the work home was a bonus.
We then caught the shuttle bus to Clayton and had lunch. It was pretty average and kind of expensive. Oh well. The focus was then on residential services. We visited Briggs Hall, Roberts Hall, Turner Hall and then Logan Hall. We kind of established that the extra $50 a week is worth going to UC over RV. Out of the UC halls, Briggs or Jackomos is the likely choice since it is under NRAS. Otherwise, I like Logan, then Turner.
All the UC halls are similar but slightly different which was actually pretty interesting and made each worth seeing.
Roberts was a different experience in itself, and I just couldn't see myself getting in with the 'puppies' mentality and all that :/
It was a great day - I saw lots of what I wanted to, and more.
English Language
We had our practice SAC last week. Feedback is due this week. I think I did okay for my Sec C. But, our teacher completely botched Sec A, making it a useless exercise.
Hopefully I'll do okay. I still feel like I've learnt nothing in EL for the past six months.
Chemistry
We did the practical component of our volumetric analysis SAC task, which will be completed next week. I went to a parent teacher interview to see my teacher. He was pretty complimentary but I was taken aback when he asked “so what do you want to do next year??” … “you probably won't even need science to do Japanese, right?”.
Jesus.
I'm used to it but mannn… science IS important¡
Still no updates re the award.
Psychology
We are now full steam ahead in mental health, which is likely the least boring area of study so far.
But, I will share this anecdote with you because I know Term 3 is an awful time for most people.
Try not to slack off
One of my classmates in psychology is busy. Well, pretty busy, I guess. Especially recently, demands on her have been pretty hard to meet. But for her research poster, none other than a Unit 4 SAC, she hands in unfinished. The title reads: Under Title Here. The references, bare. I was shocked and saddened.
To be honest, Term 3 is the “make-or-breaker”. Some people learn to strive in the face of pressure and stress. Some people give into it and give up. If it's for a good reason, I can empathise. But to hand in an unfinished SAC, even though a title and reference list are the easier points to make… I don't know what to say.
Keep it up. If you think T3’s a breaker for you, step back and find some armour. If it is a battle you can fight, fight it.
Methods
I saw my teacher for a parent teacher interview. I expected to be positively roasted, but he basically said he can see that my scores fluctuate based on my level of motivation. He encouraged me to find some more, and buckle down for the last spurt. I hope to take his advice. I may as well give my best to methods, as hard as it may be.
Integration isn't bad but I suck at it. More practice needed!
Hope you all had a great week !
My mother said to me, 'If you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope.' Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
I've gotten used to opening these entries with a countdown to something... but I can't think of anything especially topical.
I hope you are all enjoying Term 3.
I had a pretty ordinary week last week. I successfully registered my preferences into VTAC:
My VTAC preferences
1. 2800311231 - Medicine - School Leaver Entry (Monash University, Clayton)
2. 2800311261 - Medicine - CSP Extended Rural Cohort School Leaver Entry (Monash University, Clayton)
3. 3800539051 - Science (Chancellor's Scholars) (University Of Melbourne (The), Parkville)
4. 3800538271 - Science (University Of Melbourne (The), Parkville)
5. 2800328451 - Science (Monash University, Clayton)
6. 3800538001 - Arts (University Of Melbourne (The), Parkville)
7. 2800328131 - Arts (Monash University, Clayton)
A few things changed. I put the Chancellor's Scholars course in almost purely because it would fill a space. Science at Melb is still my 'backup'. I already planned it out because it was my dream course for a good while. Most importantly, BSc might be vigorous but probably not enough so to warrant living in Melbourne. I could have the choice to commute if I went to UoM. It's a tough decision but ultimately I think I will always prefer UoM to Monash.
Arts degrees are next because I figure I could transfer. Arts might not be so bad anyway, but definitely better with other disciplines (sciences, commerce, business, fine arts, etc.) which is the appealing aspect of UoM. Most importantly without being a double degree.
I do have an 8th preference, but it is too identifying (a dare from friends who would instantly recognize it lol) so I left it off.
Other than that nothing much special has happened. I did my English Language U4 AOS1 SAC which was... a mess.
the mess
So, we did the SAC in two halves (Sec A then Sec C later). We did the practice SAC the week before. The other class was originally meant to do their Sec C first (weird logic, I know...) but only got their feedback from the practice SAC in the period before sitting it. A few of my friends cried in class and organised to have most of the class 'back them' and have the date changed. The teacher eventually agreed and they had more time to go over the feedback. However, the feedback was the problem for both classes. We had notes throughout the responses, and some had a universal response ('good job' type of thing) but noone received a mark for either section of the practice SAC. Essentially, we took the SAC blind.
There are even rumours that the teacher won't last until the end of the term due to health problems - though they are still groundless. If it is true, it works out that we will have had a different teacher each term. I don't know how on earth that's meant to be fair. It's not like it is some meaningless subject that will fall to a 10% increment.
So, well, I am really less than impressed. Does anyone have any advice?
This week we have a chemistry SAC and a methods SAC that got dropped on us with one week's notice. Great.
We should be having our Psych SAC the week after.
I'm not super concerned about the SACs. I mean, they have to be done. I'm concerned about my lack of motivation and effort.
I'm now carrying around my checkpoints books so hopefully that well motivate me to actually use them and begin exam preparation.
We have our school formal later this month, which is exciting. I have my outfit bought and ready so I guess at least I'm not using it to procrastinate anymore lol. August seems to be non-eventful. The only thing I'm looking forward are to my phone contract expiring lmao.
Anyone have android handset recommendations? I was originally waiting for the Note 9 but it's too expensive. I'm now thinking of getting the Note 8 anyway, or purchasing a handset outright. For example, the Vivo Nex or Oppo Find X. The Chinese versions don't concern me because I'd probably root them anyway. Any advice would be appreciated! My S7's battery capacity is completely shot and I'd like a decent camera for our Asia trip later this year.
Hope you all have a good week.
I don’t wanna admit it
But I keep looking next to me
Just cuz someone’s ahead doesn’t mean they’re first, baby
Look at the big picture and take your time
No need to rush, my pace
Don’t compare
It’s alright to go slowly
Go on your own path, my lane
Put down your impatience
Just keep looking forward
Not a massive fan of the song but I thought the lyrics were relevant hahaha. Credit to colorcodedlyrics.com
The last week of August: 6 days until September, and Monash Residential Services applications. It will then only be another month till classes finish, and yet another until it’s all over. Scary stuff.
Preferences
So I had a big revelation this week. I thought to myself: seriously, what would if I don’t get into medicine? I’ve always told myself that Science leading to post-grad med. But only recently have I rethought this. What will I do if I fail the GAMSAT, 2-3 years from now? What graduate employment opportunities are there for a Bachelor of Science? What will I do for work while doing post-grad med? Aren’t there any other ways to get into medicine, anyway?
And to answer that: (1) well, you’ll probably have to work. (2) Probably not that many, and if there I’m going to have work hard to get them. (3) Waitressing? Why, oh why, would I still not have any professional skills? (4) See below!
So, this is what happened:
My new and (hopefully) improved VTAC preferences
1. 2800311231 - Medicine - School Leaver Entry (Monash University, Clayton)
2. 2800311261 - Medicine - CSP Extended Rural Cohort School Leaver Entry (Monash University, Clayton)
3. 3800539051 - Science (Chancellor's Scholars) (University Of Melbourne (The), Parkville)
4. 2100211401 - Biomedical Science (Medical) (La Trobe University, Bendigo)
5. 2100111401 - Biomedical Science (Medical) (La Trobe University, Albury-Wodonga)
6. 3200231081 - Medical Radiations-Nuclear Medicine (RMIT University, Bundoora)
7. 3800538271 - Science (University Of Melbourne (The), Parkville)
8. 2800328451 - Science (Monash University, Clayton)
And here’s some information:
La Trobe’s new Bachelor of Biomedical Science
So, this course has unexpectedly become my fourth and fifth preferences. It is a new course commencing in 2019, and has very little information available for sharing. It is somehow connected to the University of Melbourne’s new Doctor of Medicine (Rural).
I contacted a representative from La Trobe via Live Chat, and yet again struggled to get any solid details. Apparently there will be ~20 places, and places into the postgrad MD aren’t guaranteed. I’m going to have to get our careers counsellor on it.
RMIT’s accredited Bachelor of Medical Radiations
This is quite a change in direction. Not only is RMIT a university I never seriously considered, but Medical Radiations is a discipline I don’t know all that much about.
There are three different streams within the Bachelor of Medical Radiations: Medical Imaging, Nuclear Medicine and Radiation Therapy.
I was initially interested in Radiation Therapy, because a nurse at placement recommended it to me. Looking at the different plans, though, I thought nuclear medicine - being more chemistry-orientated - could be more aligned with my interests. My only problem with both of them is the scope of practice. Radiation Therapy, as far as I know, is primarily used for treatment of cancer. Even though it is seemingly a narrow application, the idea of creating patient plans dependent on the type and location of malignancies etc. is pretty intriguing. Operating machines also seems kind of cool. Nuclear Medicine has a slightly broader scope of practice, as far as I can tell, but the application seems to be restricted. Apparently you can use radiopharmaceuticals in lung scans, cardiac stress tests and diagnostic imaging (e.g. PET scans). The theory might be interesting, but I wonder if doing the same thing over and over would be worth it.
Anyway, this one is yet again subject to my scrutiny for the next months. We shall see.
Methods and Chemistry
Well, I got my results back. I definitely did worse this time around. I am now resigned to the fact that methods will probably be outside my ATAR. I thought that I may have been able to get over 35 scaled but now I am seriously doubting it.
Oh well, as long as I meet prerequisites.
I’m enjoying probability. Here’s hoping it won’t stab me in the back (read: I won’t stab myself in the back) like integration did.
Nothing new in chemistry. I really like food chemistry.
Psychology and English Language
I got my results back for the poster in psychology. No complaints.
We are still waiting for results for English Language. I haven’t done much to bring myself up to speed, but I will. Our last SAC is split up into Sec B and Sec C this time, the latter on the last day of school (rip) and the former two weeks before that. Grand.
This week
I should be getting my new phone!
We also have the Year 12 social, which is exciting.
I’ll be applying for residence at Monash this weekend.
I have to finish my ethics essay for one of our school’s compulsory religion elective.
And, well, it started last week but Virgo season is in full swing. It’s our month, fellow Virgos!
Hope you all have a great week
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
Thank you to everyone for your kind messages! I'm so flattered.
You should definitely start your own journal!
Totally agree @vcestressed!!
So, I have been agonizing over the impending release of the UMAT results. Will they come out tomorrow? A week from now? When??
I always thought myself to have a cool disposition but I'm on edge every day this week! Wish me luck (I'll need it).
I have very little to update!
Parties
My days were filled with the non-academic: e.g. fake-tanning, dancing, binge drinking, photo-taking, dress-wearing... the lot.
I had a reasonably good time. It met most of my expectations but didn't exceed them. I'm glad I could dress up nicely and take photos with friends.
I managed to exhaust myself with the combination of the after party, work the day after, and another 18th on the weekend. Not to mention I have at least one every weekend for the next seven weeks (and then a concert the week after that!). I think I can go to them all so long as I don't drink at every one... we will play it by ear.
More admissions stuff
I applied for UAC.
My preferences are:
1. UNSW BMed/MD
2. UWS Bachelor Clinical Studies/MD
3. JMP (University Newcastle, University New England)
4. USyd BSc/MD
5. University of Wollongong Bachelor of Pre-Medicine, Health and Sciences
It has been a real pain tbh.
La Trobe's Bachelor of Biomedical Science (Medical) contd.
From a UniMelb external relations manager:
The course is for rural students at either Albury-Wodonga or Bendigo campuses. 15 students will get the DM on enrolment (still to be decided how this will be done but they will do an interview and I expect ATAR will also count – the higher the ATAR the better the chance of getting one of these 15 places). The other 15 will be admitted into DM after completion of the degree and these students will need a min WAM of 75 . In total 30 students will go from B Biomedicine Sciences (medical) into DM at Shepparton. We have no idea how big the Biomedical Sciences (Medical) course intake will be as its new course but we hope it is very popular. However if less than 30 meet the pre-requisites the intake will reflect that which will be a pity as it is a great pathway and we do want it to succeed.
Sounds good to me. I'll keep it.
Methods
Apparently we are way behind so we now have an extra period after school on Wednesday to bring us up to speed. Sad times.
My phone :(
Sadly I must wait longer for it. I changed to the S9 because there was a plan for it at the same price. I'm not sure whether I want to keep the lease plan or call and change to the "Plus" plan for an extra $10/month so I can own it. I think I probably will. Sigh.
Hopefully it comes this week.
This week:
UMAT results (maybe)
English Language SAC
Chemistry SAC
New phone?? (pls)
I thought since this is such a measly entry, I'd write something a little more ~sentimental~.
But, honestly, at this point, I'm so over year 12. It seems lots of people are in the same boat.
Without further ado,
Looking back over my time at school
What’s your most embarrassing in-school memory? What happened and did you learn anything from it?
It is the morning of my 2015 Japanese SL oral exam. The night before, I had packed my bag meticulous. Everything I needed and more was in there. On my floor, I laid out my skin care products so that I could sit in front of the heater and have a little pamper-session before leaving for the exam venue. I knelt down, cleansed, toned, and moisturized. As I get up, I lean my knee forward and crush the only pair of glasses I had. They weren't even broken at the hinges - the arms had completed snapped off. Going into a state of absolute panic, my mum and I decide the only solution is to tape the arms back to the frame.
So, I set out to the venue with blobs of cellophane tape on either sides of my head.
All was well upon arriving. I practiced and had fun with my classmates. When my turn came and went, I knew I had absolutely smashed it. I knew I did well. I was sitting in my chair across from the assessors, finally feeling a weight from my shoulders lift as they began concluding our conversation.
In the Japanese oral, it is important to bow upon entering, greeting, farewelling and exiting.
Of course, the smart thing is to rise, bow, go to the door, bow, then exit. This day, the great relief of finishing the exam must have came over me too suddenly because when I - seated - farewelled the assessors with a bow, I smashed my head (with reasonable force, I may add) into the desk. The assessors were quick to ask if I was okay (in Japanese lol) and I could do nothing but mutter "I'm fine... thank you" and scurry out the door. In hindsight it's funny but in the moment, I couldn't have cared. I felt like my soul had left my body already, anyway!
Which school tradition are you most proud of?
I think our founder's days are most memorable for me. People really came together to set up stalls, dress up, and enjoy a great entertainment show afterwards. Not only that, but we consistently raise $10,000+ for members of the local community through the fundraising efforts on the day. I'm really proud of the school community's charity, and the general enjoy-ability of the day.
Which subject do you think prepares you most for life after high school? Why?
Methods. It's hard to admit, but I've actually been able to use methods in real life.
If not from this year, philosophy is definitely the most relevant to life beyond school. It builds good logic and critical thinking skills, as well as exposing you to different philosophies, debates and concepts that are important to consider as you begin to take responsibility for your actions as an adult!
Describe your senior year in three words.
A long journey.
"I will always remember…”
On our Year 12 religious retreat, we received letters written from our parents reflecting on us over the past 18 years. It is not any exaggeration to say every person cried. I will always remember that feeling - the love from my mum, the sadness of our final retreat, the new bonds made. It was a special event this year.
What advice do you have for incoming students?
My advice is simple: fall in love.
Once you find something you can revolve your world around, everything else starts to fall into place by the pull of your gravity.
What was the dumbest saying of the year?
Rather, the dumbest thing I said this year: "good night!" to a teacher (and later, a librarian) as I was leaving school for the day.
What weird habit do you have when you’re nervous and how long has it been going on?
Some people have noticed this year that during exams, I slip my shoes on and off (or keep them off all together) and bounce my knee in a rhythm. The rhythm reflects the speed at which I'm writing (haha).
I was so embarrassed to have been caught but those habits are exam rituals I have had since I don't know when!
[possibly to be continued...]
Hope you all also have a fun and reflective week!
“If you have a strong purpose in life, you don't have to be pushed. Your passion will drive you there.”
The holidays are upon us!
Well, if you can call them holidays.
As for last week, I got my SAC results back for all my subjects. I did really well in psychology and English language, pretty meh for chemistry (unfortunately) and surprisingly okay for methods (probably not so good comparatively, but I was pretty happy for myself). It has been a pretty decent end to Unit 4. Though it is probably true that I could have done more or done better, I feel content. I don't feel like I regret anything this year and my performance, whether exceptional or not, has been a genuine reflection of my experience this year.
My holidays, within one day, became packed. For the past two holidays I have done an appalling job at sticking to the plans I have made, so I will do something different this time. I don't know whether you'd call it motivation or what, but I feel 'ready'. I've procrastinated enough, relaxed enough, had enough fun and now I'm just ready to chip away for the coming weeks until it is finally over. I’ll set out a rough plan, but nothing too ridiculous. It will just be practice exam after practice exam, in timed conditions, until I can figure out what holes I need to patch up.
It is almost deadline for most TAC applications, too! I have spent so much time trying to co-ordinate all these applications that it really does worry me. Did I miss something here? Eligible for that there? Didn't check that box? It's pretty complicated and stressful. Hopefully I'll be able to get it all out of the way sooner rather than later so it doesn't drag on.
Speaking of which, the UCAT is upon us.
excuse me wtf
#triggered. One of my friends sent me an article about it. I actually only read the title and brushed it off, thinking it was 'just talks’. Then on Facebook I see all of these discussionspaces and support groups changing their name. I couldn't believe it.
My immediate thoughts
Were actually pretty good.
Hearing of a new test that actually has been scrutinised, used overseas, and supposedly better than the UMAT, I was excited.
I thought, if I took this new test I might have a chance of going better.
I thought, if it is the first year of its use in admissions, cutoffs are likely going to be more lenient.
My world actually shifted a little bit. Again, I thought, is this God telling me that I won't get a place this year? That I should take the gap year?
The test
As I read more, I became increasingly less optimistic. Section 1 and 3? My worst sections. 55 abstract reasoning questions in 14 minutes with no paper and pen? Baby Jesus no.
Receiving your result immediately after the test addresses a huge problem the UMAT had. Great. But isn't it nicer to send us our results via email on the night? It's humiliating enough to have people you love see you devastated, but having to keep composure in a room full of strangers is too much. I know from experience.
Computerised administration of the test is good too. I've heard people scrutinise this adjective took because of the RACP exam fail not that long ago. I'm not too concerned, though.
My friend is almost set on taking a gap year to sit it. For me, I just hope it isn't my only choice.
I don't have much to reflect on for our last week. It kind of just flashed by.
All I can do is which you all the best in studying these holidays. Good luck!!
No quote for this week ;)
One week down and one to go.
How have your holidays been? It is officially only one month until exams... it doesn't even feel real.
As I mentioned, I have had a really busy first week of the holidays. I spent a day in Melbourne, two days at parties (including going out with friends to shop, get ready etc.), a morning tutoring our Japanese students for their impending oral, an evening working and lots of time spent with my mum, who is still looking for work. I managed to finish a practice exam for psychology and finish applications for universities (i.e. an almost 3000-word endeavor).
I'm not overly happy with how little I have been studying, but there is still time.
Most of my efforts for the week were focused into applications to medicine. It's really hard to think honestly about yourself but write strategically. I feel a constant defeat because I feel that no matter how much I write, I can never truly convey just how much I want a place. That desperation also makes it really hard to start writing in the first place, because the weight and pressure put on the words I carve out is just so immense.
This week we have school-run lectures in English Language and Chemistry, which is great. These will be immediately followed by practice exams in our first week back. I feel ready for psychology, except I need to really hit those practice exams to solidify my performance. I also feel good about English Language, despite all that has happened. I should be well-prepared if I do a few papers, practice metalanguage and memorize quotes/examples. Compared to these two, chemistry has me feeling quite a bit more insecure. When I do papers, I feel very much like I guess my answers. Even if they're right, I can feel that I'm not confident and not thorough in my knowledge. I'm definitely in need of some revision as well as exam preparation. As for methods... hm.
I was trying to think of something interesting to include in this post. I had wanted to include excerpts from my applications - taking inspiration from justwannawish - but I became a bit worried about what would happen if my writing was checked for plagiarism or something. If I am fortunate enough to get a place, I'll put them up then. They'd probably hold a bit more weight if that happened, anyway!
Instead, I thought I'd write a chronology of my career interests to date. Do reply with your own if you want!!
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Age 6: "A lemon."
Age 8: A scientist or 'inventor'
Age 11: A doctor
Age 13: A Japanese-English translator/interpreter
Age 15: A speech pathologist
Age 16: A plastic and reconstructive surgeon
My first consideration of medicine was born together with two girlfriends. One is now pursuing nursing, the other still apparently on the path but taking a detour first. Ironically, both were very firm on the idea until about Year 9 or 10, while I was desperately wracking my brains for something, anything I could do with Japanese. Now, I'm the one going in alone.
In terms of plastic and reconstructive surgery, it is still very tentative, of course. I briefly described in a past post why plastics stood out to me. To further iterate, it is because a plastic surgeon I met and his experiences, mixed with the prospects of very new technology/procedures (think microsurgery, hand transplants, sex reassignment surgeries and fistula repairs for trauma victims, breast augmentation for cancer patients... a very broad field, I have heard).
Anyway, God knows what other things will be added to this list, but there you have it.
Have a great week everyone!
By doing what you love you inspire and awaken the hearts of others
2 sleeps until ATARs drop!
I thought I'd update again considering my previous post was a bit short and that this time of year is the most exciting for us ATARNotes users - it's in the name!
Off topic but yesterday I had the honour of seeing Kai (Kim Jong-in) and Chanyeol (Park Chanyeol) of EXO!! It was a complete surprise and I just happened to be in the particular shopping mall they were filming a reality television show (Return of Superman) in! I have stated on here before that EXO is my favourite group so it was an amazing, surreal experience!
Preferences
Since they have actually changed somewhat dramatically!
VTAC
1. 3800539051 - Science (Chancellor's Scholars) (University Of Melbourne (The), Parkville) (phat chance smh)
2. 2100211401 - Biomedical Science (Medical) (La Trobe University, Bendigo)
3. 2100111401 - Biomedical Science (Medical) (La Trobe University, Albury-Wodonga)
4. 2800611241 - Pharmacy (Honours) Scholars program/Master of Pharmacy (Monash University, Parkville)
5. 2800611221 - Pharmacy (Honours)/Master of Pharmacy (Monash University, Parkville)
6. 3200231081 - Medical Radiations-Nuclear Medicine (RMIT University, Bundoora)
7. 3800538271 - Science (University Of Melbourne (The), Parkville)
8. 2800328451 - Science (Monash University, Clayton)
I officially removed Monash medicine from my course preferences. Kind of sad, but I figured nothing would come out of having them there. I guess I have come to fully accept that outcome. I think that's a positive thing.
Medical radiations is still on the list but I've added in pharm! A bit of unprecedented change, but now I wonder why I didn't consider it sooner. I like the idea of medical radiations leading to a practical occupation but I wasn't super mad on the idea of ~advanced physics~. Not only does Pharmacy appeal to my love of Chemistry, have practical career outcomes and fit snug in the health sector, it reminded me of an interest I've always had: drugs! Sounds a bit weird, I know, but I literally have the Drugs.com app on my old phone, and used to read pages upon pages on Wikipedia about (specifically) antipsychotic medications. I Every medication I have taken, I have read the leaflet included (even my contraceptive implant - which I googled since they don't give you one!)
I'm really stoked about this as a backup option. The idea actually came when I was looking at UQ! Read the QTAC spoiler tab if you are wondering why
P.S. I got Monash Guarantee! (Yay)
UAC
I'm just roughing it because of UAC's stupid operating hours bs. From memory:
UNSW Med
USyd Science/MD (fat chance lol)
Griffith Provisional MD
USyd Art/MD (??)
there may be more idk I'll update if so
So JMP and WSU (sad times) are no more. I'm still clutching on to the little hope I have for UNSW. It would be amazing if I got an offer but every time I imagine it I get rejected.
SATAC
I don't even want to talk about SATAC and SA unis. I elaborated fully on another forum but essentially I was disqualified from rural entry to UAdel because I submitted my stat dec a week late - I didn't know there was a deadline. But, actually, SATAC sent me a confirmation letter nonetheless so I thought it was all good. I had to email the head of admissions at the University to find out what had happened. I know it's my fault but, seriously, finding out you were unfairly disqualified due to not reading one email properly is just so… (I'm still rural can't you just process the damn document????)
Nonetheless…
1 314552 Bachelor of Medicine/Bachelor of Surgery University of Adelaide
2 314553 Bachelor of Medicine/Bachelor of Surgery (Bonded Medical place) University of Adelaide
3 214941 Bachelor of Clinical Sciences/Doctor of Medicine Flinders University
4 114831 Bachelor of Clinical Sciences (double degree with Flinders University's Doctor of Medicine (MD) in the Northern Territory) Charles Darwin University
So… Flinders? Don't know if I'll get the ATAR rip.
QTAC
Bachelor of Medical Science (MD Provisional Entry for School-Leavers) - full-time 233422
Institution: Griffith University, Gold Coast Campus
Doctor of Medicine (MD) (Provisional Entry for School-Leavers) - full-time 721302
Institution: The University of Queensland, St Lucia/Clinical Schools
Doctor of Medicine (MD) Provisional Entry for School-Leavers (Bonded Medical Places) - full-time 721402
Institution: The University of Queensland, St Lucia/Clinical Schools
Bachelor of Medical Science (MD Provisional Entry for School-Leavers) - full-time 228272
Institution: Griffith University, Nathan Campus
Bachelor of Medical Science (Griffith MD Provisional Entry for School-Leavers) - full-time 013231
Institution: USC, Sunshine Coast
Bachelor of Medicine, Bachelor of Surgery - full-time (Closed) 317012
Institution: James Cook University, Townsville Campus (Not eligible but I'm not wasting a change of preference to kick it off the list)
Griffith has a pretty high ATAR. I was once confident I could get that but recently not so much. I'm thinking UQ is most likely. It's a 7 year (minimum) deal in which you have to do a UQ undergraduate degree of your choosing before progressing to medicine. Courses that fulfilled my “practical career outcomes” criteria included nursing, speech pathology, physiotherapy, occupational therapy and pharmacy. It was by considering each of these courses carefully that pharmacy entered my radar. I thought about putting UQ pharm as a preference but I figure is be better to do it at Monash if I don't get a provisional medicine offer.
I'd really love to go to Griffith or UQ especially because my uncle's family lives in the area. Fingers crossed!
ATAR Day
If our flight isn't delayed, I'm due to touch down at Tullamarine airport a mere 20 minutes before our main event.
It takes a while to disembark, though, so I wonder whether I'll be too busy to check. I've also considered waiting until I got home (probably three hours later) to find out my results because I would be more comfortable. If you read my UMAT result day experience you might know why I'm a bit concerned. The cons of doing so would probably be missing the hype (lol) and having to wait knowing my ATAR is there. My mum's also going to be with me so she'll probably pressure me into opening it asap, too…
If any graduates want to give me their opinion I'm all ears!
Which first?
I actually replied to a thread on this saying I would “absolutely” open my study scores before my ATAR, trying to appeal to the conventional wisdom that “baby steps”. Now, however, I'm not so sure.
I figure that if I open my study scores first I'll analyse them and try to predict what my ATAR is, which probably would just add to the stress. I can just see myself going “oh god… 35, 35, 35, 35…? That's totally an 80…” and freaking myself out. Seeing the big picture would just be like ripping off the band-aid. It might sting but at least it's over - the pain from tugging at the tape adhered to skin and delaying the inevitable is unneeded!
So, despite my own advice, I think I will just go for ATAR first. I can get over that and then tackle the next problem: will I get over 25 for methods?
Disclosure of results
Despite feeling that I would like to keep my results private, I have never been in a position to do so. In my family, amongst my friends and in my school I have always been expected to disclose my results - usually, of course, because they were “good”.
I guess it's pride and fear of failure wanting me to keep it to myself.
Of course, I won't. ATARNotes won't be hearing long to hear of my results either! I'm happy about that though. To be honest, I think that I'll have a mixture of excellent results, above average results and maybe some below average. I think that's okay and if I can be an example of “I didn't do so good in this, but I worked to my strengths and this is what I achieved”, i think I'll be proud.
I'm not sure about a reaction video or anything. I'm not much of an exhibitionist so I doubt I will. I think perhaps a Facebook post is the extent of broadcasting I'll do.
Things to do
I'll probably be changing my preferences!
If need be, I'll head to school to discuss with my careers counsellor (I also need to return a library book lol). She has been an amazing support to me this year and seen me at my worst, so if things go belly up (e.g. I get 24 or below for math) I know she can help me.
I'll also probably coerce my mum into a celebratory dinner (despite spending all our money overseas!!). Even pizza would do. In any case, I don't think she will want to cook so a dinner out is probably in order.
I also got an offer for accommodation at Monash that I have to provide documentation for within 7 days. Hopefully by that time I might have a better idea of whether letting the offer lapse is okay!
Pre-ATAR advice
Distract yoself
Honestly, I have barely thought about results day. The thought of it isn't even that sickening. I think my calm is generally attributed to the fact that I went overseas and have been living my best life (lol) without a care in the world! In some ways, it also showed me that I could obviously lead a fantastic life if all failed. It has also grounded me and shown me what really matters.
Be productive
As an extension of that, though, is to distract yourself wisely. I could have easily spent a whole month working, watching YouTube/Netflix and partying with friends. But doing that would just cause me to question myself: what are you doing with your life!? That's what I did every school holiday! Doing something meaningful and productive made me feel so much more at ease
Don't talk about it
To be honest, despite what you may think, no-one wants to talk about it. It drives me up the wall trying to explain to my mum that the ATAR is just not an appropriate topic of conversation (with her or between my friends and I). It's like talking about a breakup. Before it happens, you don't want to talk about what it is going to be like, you don't want to give reasons to other people - it's between you and your partner. When it happens, you don't want dialogue. Whether you took it badly it you took it well, there is the “too soon” factor. But most importantly, all breakups are different and everyone's reaction is different. It's a touchy subject… don't touch.
Have something after the ATAR to look forward to
That way, you can have an endpoints to your ATAR saga and walk away happy.
I'll probably update Saturday! Stay tuned and best wishes to everyone.
Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.
the ATAR
This might be the toughest thing I've ever had to write, let alone post on ATARNotes. Nonetheless, it's all a part of the experience.
We left Seoul on an overnight flight Wednesday, and spent the day in Singapore on the Thursday. With another overnight flight into Melbourne, we were truly exhausted. I kept my eye on the time nervously as 7am edged closer and closer.
We were on the Skybus when I decided to open the app. I had my mum's phone in one hand recording my reaction (on recommendation of a ATARNotes user!). I had initially decided to keep it to myself, but put it on my story because my reaction was bland enough to not be embarrassing.
A transcript:warning: profanity
It's 4:11. No it's not. It's 7:11, and 4:11 Singaporean time. Let's go.
Oh my God.
That's a bit awkward. Yeet. Fuck.
My ATAR…
Oh shit.
Oh… no, no… mmkay.
My ATAR is 97.45. Oh my God.
So… why would that be my scaled fucking aggregate!?* No...
Wait, so I did w– *gasp* what?
As you might have realised, it came as quite a shock.
The first point of interest I have is “my scaled fucking aggregate”. If you're confused, so am I. What I actually was referring to was the fact that somehow my VET study ended up contributing to my 6 subjects. For those not familiar, an unscored VET creates a study score equivalent by taking your average study score as a 10% increment.
The second point of interest was how “I did w–”orse in psychology this year than what I did two years ago! Mad. In 2016 I got A+, A, A+ and a 43. This year I got A+, A+, A+ and a 41! I was mortified.
So, two study scores revealed: 41 for psychology, and 43 (4.3) for VET.
The next thing to catch my attention was philosophy. That is, the fact that it was in my top 4. English Language, Japanese, Psychology, Philosophy, UMEP, VET. I was stunned! My chemistry and methods scores were kicked to the curb. A 31 for chemistry
… and, as I had feared…
a 24 for methods.
I cannot begin to express the feeling. It wasn't panic, nor disappointment, nor, well, anything. I just sat back and wondered to myself: what am I going to do?
My study score for chemistry was meh. I barely even gave it a second glance, then or now. I thought it was good enough and since it wasn't in my six – who cares?
On the other hand, my 41 in English Language was a source of frustration. I had honestly thought I would, dare I say, ‘easily’ score over 45.
Overall, most of my thoughts were left unrecorded:
This isn't enough for medicine!
I can't believe I didn't score higher
I shouldn't have underestimated this
The previous dux got 97 as well, right?
I text my friends. The digits flow in. 91, 88, 90, 79…
Some are happy. Some are disappointed. Some immediately assess their likely offers. Some slept in.
It was only that morning that I truly thought the ATAR was a cruel thing. “I really wanted a 90,” one of my friends says to me. I knew she did. It sucks that “top 10%” is such a big deal. “My expectations of myself were too high,” says another. It sucks that the score had to be so entwined with ideas of the self. I try my best to console and congratulate.
My friends did the same for me. On Snapchat one messages me, “congrats my little dux!”
Another jokes, “dux for sure. Can't wait to hear your phony speech. “Study hard” when in reality “what homework did we have due today for Lang?””.
I say to them,
“Haha dunno about that.”
A bit later I ask,
“do you knew anyone who got higher?”
“Nope you're the highest.”
“Idk. It's anxiety but meh,” I reply. “Time will tell.”
Later again,
“I’m beginning to think it's not me. I haven't heard anything from the school.”
“Nah, maybe they'll send it later,” she replies.
We return home on the train. Standing under shelter from the rain and waiting for a taxi, my mum's phone happens to ring. It's the school reception. My mum talks to them briefly and hands over the phone. I don't even know who is on the other end of the line.
“How are you feeling?” they ask. I reply that I'm fine. It's obvious in my tone that it wasn't entirely true. “If you can in this weather, could you come to school briefly for a photo?”
Of course I agree, despite being desperate to sleep and having a knot slowly forming in my stomach.
We stand at the taxi rank, waiting and waiting. My mother suddenly remembers we don't have keys. I begin to panic.
I had always dreamed of this moment. Dux of my school, in the newspaper, and done up so nicely. It was slowly becoming obvious that “getting done up” was going to be taxiing to my cousin's place to have a shower and wearing clothes out of my suitcase.
I truly wanted to cry.
We get there, I shower, and put on creased, baggy clothes stinking of oil. There's no time for makeup, so I put on some lipstick in the hope it brings some colour to my face. We rush to school.
As we come through front reception, my Japanese teacher happens to be standing at the door, poised to leave for the day. I almost lose the strength in my knees. This woman is like a mother to me. Maybe someone I want to impress more than my own mother - a mentor, an inspiration.
She says congratulations to me. I'm on the verge of tears, and vaguely thank her.
“So, did you hear who got dux?”
“Oh, no, I haven't yet…” I reply. I have to look at the ceiling and pretend to laugh as my mum explains that I'm trying not to cry.
“She did all humanities subjects. It was the subject scores. You did well in Japanese, but she did well in everything,” she tells me. I can't even bother to try and think of who it is.
I try my best to finish our conversation.
I search for I'm meant to be. I just make it to where the newspaper photographers are. On my way, I pass the head of math (who barely acknowledged me lmfao) and my favourite teacher, my chemistry teacher. “Congrats on your big score,” he says. I want to kick myself.
As I line up with the other girls who got over ninety, I see one person is positioned in the foreground. With her back to me, I realise it is the dux. I couldn't recognise her but when we disbanded, I finally saw who it was.
I couldn't have been more pleased.
One of the nicest people I know, and a really hard worker in all aspects of life. I love her artwork, and the way she would spot me waiting outside her gym for the bus and chat with me. I felt so ashamed and upset having to find out I wasn't dux from one of the most important people in my life, but I felt a weight lift because I genuinely thought that she truly deserved it.
I stayed back and chatted to the girls who had achieved over 90. I felt a little more contented. Eventually, I decide I should leave. Finally, I thought I could get home and sleep.
We get our keys from a friend who had been looking after our dogs while we were away and head home.
We open the door, and our young pup comes rushing in. But, my mum and I walk out to see our other dog lying in her bed. We try to get her attention but she refuses to move. My mum picks her up to bring her inside. As she places her down on her feet, she slides and lies down. She is panting heavily and rapidly. I say to my mum, “I don't think she can stand.” My mum props her up on her legs and bribes her with treats to have her walk. She stumbles around to and fro, looking a shell of what she was when we left.
My disappointment from my ATAR and my shock from being runner up to our dux was not enough to make me cry all morning.
This time, I began to wail.
Spoiler
I sit with my girl, Ruby, at the front door. She seems to recognise me, but her eyes are glassy. She doesn't seem to be in pain, but her laboured breathing doesn't cease. We had a family member come check on her but two days ago only to be told that she seemed fine. I looked at her and I knew I couldn't let her be in this condition overnight. Me, someone who won't even cry at the Notebook and yet was so upset at the Hachiko movie I threw a phone book across the room.
We called and took Ruby to the vet. The receptionist looks at her and says it's best to take her to triage. We wait in a separate room, faces red and eyes swollen. The veterinary surgeon comes in and tells us that Ruby is in a bad way, that we had two options. One, to investigate what was causing her laboured breathing - warning us that it was most likely untreatable. Two, to put Ruby down. We admitted that we both thought the appointment today had one outcome. The vet agreed that it was probably the best thing to do.
And so I said goodbye to my best friend.
I can't begin to explain. The shock of seeing my slowly ageing dog suddenly deteriorate. The guilt of making her suffer for a whole month alone. The emptiness of our house. My younger dog howling at night.
The only things I can say are that I am truly glad we could see her before she had to go, and that she was at a point that we knew what the only choice was.
Most of all, it put everything into perspective.
I was disappointed and upset at my results, but it was nowhere near the devastation and grief I felt after letting Ruby go.
My ATAR day has quite possibly been the (second) worst day of my entire life. Very dramatic but not an exaggeration.
But in the end, I truly realised what everyone has been telling me this whole time.
In the grand scheme of things,
it's just a number.
(https://i.ibb.co/ZYqq0vY/Image003.jpg)
P.S. my deepest apologies for the extreme emotion lol. I thought about lightening it up a bit, but I wanted to record my true feeling towards what happened.
Please stay tuned for a more optimistic post soon (19th)!