2019 AA Club Week 8

[MissSmiley]

Hi everyone! 

To those who are waiting for some feedback on their previous pieces, sorry for the delay! I’ve been really busy with moving houses whilst taking care of my grandparents! I’ll try my best to get back to you within the next few days!
But I really encourage other year 12 students to give feedback on here - it’s only with teamwork and helping each other out, we can improve!
So please do give others some feedback if you have time too!

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Background: The AFL industry is now set to 'name and shame' culprit behind racist comment aimed at Eddie Betts

Title of opinion piece = Speaking up silently for Betts
Source = The Sydney Morning Herald - 25th Feb 2019
https://www.smh.com.au/sport/afl/speaking-up-silently-for-betts-20190225-p5105d.html

This vilification of Eddie Betts has gone on too long. The time has come to get out there and do nothing. Immediately.

Everybody's second favourite footballer cops it over the fence and on the internet. The latest was a snipe under a picture on an Adelaide Crows Instagram post. We won't dignify it by reprinting here. Betts responded, posting a screenshot of the offending post and asking: "When will it stop?"

When indeed. The likely answer is that it won't as long as it appears to be hitting its mark.

Here's a likely profile of the flogger: He's young, and a bit pudgy. Or old, and still pudgy. He has acne and is dribbling from one corner of his mouth. He's hunched over his keyboard, hiding under a hoodie and behind an avatar, hoping his mum doesn't see him. Or his imaginary girlfriend.

He's nobody, a classic coward. Except he's somebody, suddenly. Betts has noticed him. Patrick Dangerfield has noticed him. The Crows have, and the players association, too. That's quite a gallery, and it's growing. This article could be added to the catalogue. Even the AFL is talking about him, saying it will strip him of his membership, if they find out he has one. If they find him.

That spool of drool is growing longer.

Others say he should be named and shamed. Imagine that! Little old him, name up in lights. Name, shame, it's all the same, as Oscar Wilde said.

The froth is flying now.

It's too late this time: he wins. But next time, ignore him. It's not turning the other cheek, it's turning away altogether. It's not wishing him away, it's denying him his only existence. It's not giving in, it's fighting back with the one weapon he fears most: irrelevance. He becomes the tree falling unseen in the forest, making no sound.

This is the distinction that needs to be made. Other instances of racist abuse of footballers - the banana thrown at Betts once, the miserable booing of Adam Goodes - were highly public and highly visible. They were face to face. They made a noise, an ugly one. This was bigotry that could not be ignored. It demanded, and got, a response.

But social media is another sphere. All that happens there exists only because of, and in proportion to, the reaction to it. Without a reaction, it falls into a vacuum. In a vacuum, no-one can hear you slobber.

It might be argued that he of the vitriol and spittle needs to be confronted because he is influencing others. But one of the features of social media is that it is like speaking exclusively to like. Most will have had a visceral reaction to the offending post, but few will have had their minds changed by it.

It might be argued that to ignore him would be to embolden him. Maybe, for a while. But challenging him also emboldens him and his type; this we already know. Because he is anonymous, the threat of punishment is no deterrent, and notoriety a likely attraction. Indifference, though, is anathema.

It's easy for me to say, of course. I'm not in Betts' boots, nor his family's. Why should he have to put up with abuse at all, he reasonably asks. When will it stop? At the ground, in the street, the answer is now. It's the law. Most are on the case, thankfully. But social media is an anarchy. Dealing with its misfits, rabble-rousers and lathered-up provocateurs requires a new way of thinking. It might be now that evil triumphs when good men try too hard to do something.

Betts' abuser last weekend may be as I imagine him, or nothing like it. He could be sitting next to you now, or me. That's the point. We don't know, because he's unknown. He has no power over us, or Eddie Betts, except the power we grant him. We created him, and we can destroy him, without lifting a finger, explicitly by not lifting a finger.

[By Greg Baum
He is chief sports columnist and associate editor with The Age

[Anonymous]

I was only able to write an intro and a body paragraph. Could someone please give me some feedback on it?

In response to the racist attack on footy player, Eddie Betts, an issue has been instigated about whether cyberbullies should be publicly humiliated or ignored. In his opinion piece, ‘Speaking up silently for Betts’, published on 25th February 2019 in The Sydney Morning Herald, Greg Baum contends that cyberbullies should not be given much attention as that could give them more power and confidence to continue bullying others. Baum appeals to sports enthusiasts and those that believe that cyberbullies should be publicly shamed.

Betts asserts that giving cyberbullies attention makes them feel more powerful and influential. Betts begins by using generalization to describe a conventional ‘flogger’ as ‘pudgy’, ‘hunched over his keyboard’ and ‘hiding under a hoodie’. In doing this, Betts aims to depict cyberbullies as ‘classic coward’ and immoral by using words such as ‘flogger’ which carries connotations of someone who is abusive. This may instill a negative image towards cyberbullies in the audience. Betts also illustrates the cyberbully as a ‘nobody’ in an attempt to portray him as insignificant. Using a fervent and scathing tone, Betts then further states that after getting noticed by people his ‘spool of drool is growing longer’. Through the use of this imagery, Betts seeks to highlight to those who believe that cyberbullies should be humiliated in public that the attention that the cyberbully is getting is making him more confident. The rhyming words ‘spool’ and ‘drool’ are used in order to grab the attention of the audience and make them more likely to remember the line and therefore also his argument. Furthermore, Betts also ridicules the idea of publicly shaming cyberbullies which is evident when he states that ‘Imagine that!’ This may compel readers who feel that cyberbullies should be publicly shamed to reconsider their stance on the issue as they do not want to seem foolish to others.

[Anonymous]

Hi, You probably should do some annotation of the sample analysis article by Greg Baum as a first step.  This will help to identify the main arguments and the persuasive strategies he uses.  Make sure you know who is affected by the issue Baum explores and the arguments he attaches to each of these.  A bit of context in the introduction can make an interesting opening sentence as well as a comment on what Baum is trying to achieve in his article.  You should also mention his range of tones and his informal style.   Personally, I like a statement of each main argument in each of the topic sentences of the body paragraphs.