Hey, I dropped literature after units 1&2 so I'm not going to give a grade prediction as I'm not an expert there but I do have some feedback for you:
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semicolons are used to separate two independent clauses* (ie use it to join sentences together), not to join a dependent and independent clause. Eg in " Through Johnny’s moral support, Ibaraki finds it within him to introduce the idea to establish a cricket team within the internment camp; creating a source of joy and relaxation or those around him." the ";" should be replaced with "-". Eg. "Initially, Ibaraki is shown as having low emotional intelligence; he finds it difficult to open up to others due and is preoccupied with fear of appearing inadequate." (
*disclaimer: semi-colons are also sometimes used to do things other than separating 2 independent clauses (eg in complex lists)
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improve long unwieldy sentence structures. Some of your sentences are quite long and - if not broken into parts - are unwieldy. There's three ways I can think of to improve this: 1. Break long and complex sentences into multiple sentences, 2. change the phrasing of the sentences so less is required, 3. use punctuation to structure the sentences. Generally 2 is best if possible, but ultimately it comes down to judgement (you seem skilled at writing so you can probably handle this). Eg. " The eventual loss and Sister Bernice from his life ultimately opens up Ibaraki’s eyes to see the importance of friendship which later gives him the courage to face his biggest regret and rekindle his marriage." -> " Ultimately, the loss of Sister Bernice from his life prompts Ibaraki to see the importance of friendship - which gives him the courage to face his biggest regret and rekindle his marriage."
I didn't study this text so I'm going to leave it at that but I hope you find this feedback useful
Good luck!