ATAR Notes: Forum
HSC Stuff => HSC Subjects + Help => HSC Marking and Feedback => Topic started by: shreyabhaskar23 on June 21, 2020, 01:17:38 pm
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Compose a Piece of Imaginative Writing that Explores the Human Trait of Aspiration. It Must Re-Imagine a Part of your prescribed Text from the Protagonists Point of View.
A reimagining of Betsy by Tim Winton.
THE YELLOW BURDEN
It was hideous, absolutely atrocious by far the most ghastly thing I have ever laid eyes on. My stomach churned as I stood there in utter disbelief staring at my “new” bike, it was hanging on by a thread at this point and belonged nowhere but a junk yard. Moving across the state leaving behind all my friends and the luxuries of the city was bad enough but now this. It wasn’t fair. Mum and dad had thought about purchasing a bike for my birthday for a while now and I wasn’t expecting anything crazy but this was just insulting. Not only was the bicycle rusty and looked like it had lived 20 lifetimes but it was the colour of the sun on a hot summers day, bright yellow. You could see it from a mile away, and the intense yellow pulverised your eyes just like the sun did on a summer morning. My goal was no longer to make friends or get back to the city but to disburden this burden of a bicycle. I didn’t care how I did it or how much trouble I would get into all I knew at that moment was that I needed to get rid of it before the bullying began.
Just 3 days ago I was playing soccer with my friends cracking jokes at the local ice cream bar feeling as blissful as ever but that was just a mere memory now. It was like my whole life had turned around in just a matter of days. What came as more of a shocker was the gleaming smile on my dad’s face. He stared at it, with a smile so wide you could see all 32 teeth. I couldn’t understand what i”d done wrong to deserve this punishment. “Well isn’t she a beauty”, dad called out looking me dead in the eyes, still in complete shock at how miserable my life was becoming I simply nodded. With an unforgettable grin on his face my dad yelled out, “she’ll be your sweet ride to school every morning” and this was when I lost it. I ran inside and stuffed my face into my pillow and just sobbed, I felt helpless like a little boy in the park who couldn’t find his mum. Mum had my uniform ironed and ready for my first day at the new high school tomorrow but I knew I couldn’t be seen riding that old trash not unless I wanted to spend my lunchtimes in the bathroom hiding from embarrassment. Dad left for work at 5:00am so I cycled up until the petrol bank where I placed my burden behind the building, not having to worry about it being stolen. I then walked a couple yards to the towering black school gates in the brutally chilly Orange morning some how managing to not get frostbite.
It was Sunday morning and we were headed of to the local church which was about a kilometre away and dad insisted we cycled, he had nothing to worry about mum and him had invincible black bikes they won in some raffle last Christmas. I made many excuses that day but mum didn’t budge. Hoping I wouldn’t be seen by anyone I hoped on the beat up old thing and rode behind my parents hiding behind them like a shy little boy. As we neared the church my heart felt heavy and my stomach felt like a cement mixer. My jaw dropped and a sudden coldness came over me, the church was packed and all eyes were on me, children giggling my friends snarking at me throwing pebbles. Neither of my parents seemed to notice any of this but it was all I could see. It was 9 degrees and I was dripping in sweat, my cheeks blood red. My classmates yelled my name laughing and pointing I knew this was just the beginning of it.
It was Saturday night a week since the Church incident and everything had changed, the only time someone spoke to me at school now was when they were making fun of me and my chance with the sweet girl next door was gone. The only that kept me going was the hope that I would get rid of the yellow burden. It was 2:00am and my parents were asleep I walked out and grabbed the dull metal not worried about having to be quit because both my parents were heavy sleepers and rode it to the end of the road where I parked it behind an abandoned barn. I couldn’t sleep that night, I felt terrible but it was better than the loneliness and embarrassment I had to face at school everyday. The next morning we were all getting ready for church when my dad pulled out his bicycle and mums identical one, my fingers began agitating but I managed to stay calm. He told me to go grab mine and I stood around the garage for a few minutes before I ran back in screaming “its gone”. After 30 minutes of turning the garage upside down my parents were convinced my bike was stolen. As bad as I felt I was also shocked they genuinely believed the old hunk was stolen and the bin man didn’t mistake it for metal scraps. Some how I got away with just a stern lecture on responsibility, a new bike was definitely out of the question but I didn’t mind.
It had been 4 days since I dropped the bike of at its rightful place behind the barn and life was already starting to look better, most of the kids next door had forgotten about the Church incident and Denise the girl next door would even occasionally slip a shy smile. It was a long weekend and to our surprise we are all woken up by a loud hard knock. I opened the door expecting it to be the neighbour but I stood their in shock, utter disbelief I began sweating like a maniac again and that uneasy feeling in stomach had returned. There standing before me was my bike, yes the same one that I had hid behind the abandon barn, I never thought I would see that pulverising yellow colour again. A middle aged man stood there holding it, I had never seen him before but some how he knew the bike belonged to me. Before I could say it wasn’t mine and that he should probably just take it the junk yard my dad came out. He grabbed the bike from the man and thanked him for returning it, of course he was suspicious to how it ended up behind a barn but he didn’t press me too much about it. At this point I felt hopeless, I guess I would be stuck with this rusting rag my whole life. What made the whole situation worse was that Denise and Hector saw it all happen and I could already see Hector being a snark. The bike really was a burden at this point and the only way I could be free was to get rid of it. Properly this time.
Winter break began and since I didn’t really have any friends I ended up working part time at the local servo it wasn’t the best job but I ended up cashing in just under $200 over the 4 weeks. There wasn’t many stores where we lived but their was a mechanic and occasionally he sold second hand bikes and scooters. So on the last day of winter break I stuffed my $200 into my pocket and headed over there on the yellow burden which was barely holding together. I was greeted by Sam, he looked like he was in his late 20’s and was chewing on a piece of hay. After laughing at my current bike he offered me a second hand silver bicycle which came with gears and a leather seat. I couldn’t resist, it was exactly what I needed so I paid him and left the rusting yellow burden there while I rode of on my new cycle thrusting against the wind. I felt accomplished even though it wasn’t easy I managed to get rid of the ghastly thing.
TO WHAT EXTENT DID THE TEXTUAL CONSERVATION YOU STUDIED PROMOTE A CONVERSATION ABOUT HUMANITY?
My comparative study on the textual conversations between The “Tempest” by William Shakespeare and “Hag Seed" by Margaret Atwood performed when completing my multimodal revealed a consequential conversation on the changing conceptions of humanity. It challenges individuals who are intrigued by the evolving human society and its capacity for reconciliation. The dissonances in context and characterisation and the resonance in theme of forgiveness allowed for an in depth understanding of human nature through a natural lens. Thorough analysis of both texts allowed me to make many logical conclusions on how each author portrayed humanity and how this accordingly sanctioned for an in-depth textual conversation which would be the central focus of my multimodal. The re imagined version of “Tempest”, “Hag Seed” was revolved around todays secular society hence enabling me to not only better relate to the characters but better interpret the “Tempest”. Furthermore the vast variety of languages techniques not only allowed me to better my writing style but make patently informed judgements on how each text mirrored one another to broaden my conception of humanity’s evolvement over the years.
When studying both texts I found opposed to merely re telling the “Tempest”, Atwood has actively sought to re-shift Shakespeare's perspective on forgiveness to more appropriately reflect the capitalist ideology of her modern era. My findings allowed me to recognise that through this dissonant of conditional forgiveness Atwood propels Shakespeare's underlying concerns through modern relevance. "Yet with my nobler reason gainst my fury do I take part; the rarer action is in virtue than in vengeance”, Shakespeares use of alliteration allowed me to recognise this pivotal point in Prospero’s life. After analysing this quote I understood Shakespeare’s conception of humanity was significantly influenced by the Jacobean Era which consisted of reaching a religious idealism. Recognising the context of the text allowed me to make better connections between many of the ideas within Shakespeares text allowing me to better explain his plot revolving around core Christian values such as “virtue”. “And I’ll be wise here after, And seek for grace”, I found this quote further proves Shakespeare’s representation of a renaissance humanist as it acknowledges that even Caliban who is depicted by Shakespeare as a “savage” and “thing most brutish” is equally credible for forgiveness and a transformed future. This allowed me to conclude that Shakespeare suggests that the more “human” response is forgiveness opposed to vengeance.
However after I studied “Hag Seed” it was clear that the idea of unconditional forgiveness present in the original play is incongruent with the capitalist mindset of modern responders. Atwood’s use of meta commentary, “ The rarer the action in virtue then in vengeance he hears inside his head, its Miranda, she’s prompting him”, allowed me to understand Felix’s epiphany that while being so invested in playing the character of Prospero he has become him. However unlike Prospero, Felix does not forgive his usurpers but himself. This distinct difference between Prospero and Felix arose a conversation on humanity allowing me to better explain within my multimodal how “Hag Seed” recognises the relevance for self reconciliation while Tempest centralises on reconciling with others. I recognised Felix goes on to blackmail his aggressors before forgiving them, framed through the analogy of “Suddenly revenge is so close he can actually taste it. It tastes like steak, rare.” This allowed me to recognise that although Atwood resonates with Shakespeare’s initial call for forgiveness as a core element of human behaviour, she simultaneously acknowledges that a dissonant state of conditional forgiveness is required to ensure the play maintains a sense of modern appeal amongst Capitalist audiences. Being a part of todays secular society this allowed me to better relate to Felix as the I used the textual conversation resulting from the dissonance and resonances between both texts to indicate within my multi model that humanity no longer views forgiveness as a religious value but a source of power allowing individuals to move on from their pasts and regain control of their life. Furthermore this textual conversation allowed me to develop a new perspective on humanity’s changing perception of forgiveness, as society replaces Shakespeare’s religious sense of unconditional forgiveness for one another with a conditional and personal empowerment approach within Atwood’s modern day appropriation.
Further analysis of “Tempest” and “Hag Seed” allowed me to recognise the dissonance with representation of women within the story. Within in the “tempest I found that apart from the celestial angels Miranda was the only female character. “If you’ll sit down, I’ll bear your logs the while. Pray, give me that. I’ll carry it to the pile’. This quote allowed me to recognise that due to the influence of the Jacobean era Miranda is seen as a companion to the male characters. The quote allowed me to understand that Miranda lacks character development and just completes tasks and provides care. “Alack, what trouble. Was I then to you”, this quote enabled me to further recognise that Miranda is first depicted as the “burden” of her father and when she marries Ferdinand she now belongs to him.
Atwood however has incorporated many more submissive female roles such as Estelle and Anne Marie this dissonance allows her text to remain important in todays secular society as by Anne Marie being depicted as powerful and knowledgeable she influences women empowerment. “You’re talking as if Miranda is just a rag doll … But it wouldn’t be like that” ,“Anne-Marie rolls up her sleeve, shows them her bee tattoo”. Atwood’s use pf a metaphor comparing innocent Miranda to rag doll being controlled like a puppet by her father and Ferdinand allowed me to recognise the evolvement of feminism over the years. Furthermore Atwood uses the “bee tattoo” symbolisms women taking a step toward new adventures and freedom to express their own thoughts. However Atwood still manages to resonate with Shakespeare by showcasing that even though women now may have freedom they still suffer from discrimination. “I don't blame them. Being a girl is the pits, trust me”, this statement said by Anne Marie to the folks at the prison conveyed to me that despite all this improvement women being a women is still a struggle. For me this dissonance gave rise to a textual conversation on humanity’s values in subject to women and hence allowed me to recognise the significant improvement in the representation of women. However due to a short time limit for my multimodal and being unable to thoroughly interpret the collision between thee 2 texts I did not include this research into my multimodal. However I believe with further analysis this idea would have added further depth to my multi model. Atwood's representation of a humanity which valued feminism persuaded me to question what a differing narrative outcome would have been if strong female voices had been included in the original play.
By studying “ Tempest” and “Hag Seed” I have recognised how resonances and distances within texts allow for a textual conversation resulting in the formation of many new ideas. The complex and consistent language techniques throughout both texts enabled me to recognise many key moments within both texts and how they mirrored one another. The quotes used above not only allowed me to strengthen my understanding of the conceptions on humanity each author showcased but they assisted in writing my multimodal. The modernist outlook taken by Atwood granted me with the ability to better interpret the key values within Shakespeare’s “Tempest”, igniting a deep and meaningful conversation on the evolvement of the conceptions of humanity over the years which was very useful in completing my multi-model.