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March 29, 2024, 11:14:02 am

Author Topic: English standard: Mod A Pygmalion essay  (Read 1183 times)

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sophieHSC2020

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English standard: Mod A Pygmalion essay
« on: September 21, 2020, 01:20:25 pm »
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Hi I am very weak in English and any feedback/help would be very much appreciated. Thank you <3 :)

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Re: English standard: Mod A Pygmalion essay
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2020, 01:38:16 pm »
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Hi I am very weak in English and any feedback/help would be very much appreciated. Thank you <3 :)
I skimmed it (I did Pygmalion in year 9, and remember part of it) and came up with these things:
-Cut down on storytelling and analyse a bit more
-The analysis there is e.g. Eliza and the slippers is good, it's just a bit repetitive and needs more analysis
-More examples needed
-Topic sentences a little repetitive
-Conciseness needed
-Good overall structure (in picking what to put into the body paragraphs etc.) although a little too much example-showing in the introduction (just talk about Eliza, Freddy etc., not the slippers, etc.)
-I wouldn't call this 'very weak', just not high scoring (if you see the difference)
-Overall, a good start, even though it still needs work (that's what studying's for!) :)

Note I'm a VCE student so I'm going off VCE stuff/standards. But I hope this helps :)
VCE 20
HHD MM Revs (F/R) Eng T&T
ATAR 85
Uni 21-24: BNursing/BMidwifery @ Deakin
Y1T2:
HNM102
HNN122 (double)
HNN114
I hope I don't fail....
Listens to Amira Willighagen and Alma Deutscher and a little Marjolein Acke
~English - PM for P&P/creatives help~
Creative excerpts
Nur/Mid uni journal

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