Hi!
I’m currently sitting at a library after my first tutoring session ahhhh!! (or I was when I first started typing this post)
I was not planning on becoming a tutor this year, exemplified in my after-exam-chucking-out-of-every-resource-I-owned which is a bit annoying when I think about notes and stuff I no longer have heh heh.
My chemistry teacher messaged our class asking if anyone wanted to tutor one of her students, and I originally thought ‘nah I can’t’ because I had considered tutoring before, but never actually thought I was capable. However, after thinking for a whole day, I decided to message her back with a message that highlighted my uncertainty, but possible interest in tutoring. I was hesitant because I was worried that I lacked the social skills and confidence to teach someone. Also, although I got the second highest score for chem in my cohort I was/(am) worried that I wouldn’t be able to answer some questions or not be good at helping someone else understand how to answer questions. There is another student from my class who didn’t get as high score as me, who is tutoring one of this years year 12s, but he has very high people skills and confidence and teacher-ness, whereas I am socially awkward.
My chem teacher seemed to think I would be a good tutor though, and so I got really excited about being able to teach someone!! It is a great opportunity for me, and I really enjoyed chemistry last year, and felt confident in most of the course.
My current goal is becoming a psychologist, but before then I want to have built up my people skills enough that I am comfortable in talking to people one on one and can carry conversations so I can make the other person feel comfortable, so I think tutoring is a step in the right direction for me.
I think there’s a scale of charisma/people skills where everyone is at, with the top level is being comfortable and making everyone around you feel comfortable and relaxed and valued. It is my goal to get there.
I have revised so much chem recently, because I had flushed my mind of all VCE. I think I must have a bad memory, idk, I think I purposely chose to forget everything when the exam was over, and deleted it all from my brain-files, now I’m trying to fish out what I can from my brain-recycle bin, and relearn stuff.
Luckily my student
aHH that sounds weird, I am tutor AHHH! sent me some stoichiometry questions that she didn’t understand, so I was able to do them at home, and felt less worried about anything unexpected popping up.
I feel like I don’t YET, have the ideal confident manner of a tutor. I don’t want to be too self critical, but I need to stop saying ‘umm’, ‘I think’ ‘random stuttering and pauses’. I think labelling yourself as ‘awkward’ and ‘bad at talking to people’, can cause you to display those characteristics more than you actually are though.
Thinking positively, I feel really happy about teaching her stoichiometry!! She said she had never understood it, but now she gets what to do!! Yay!! I feel like I achieved something!! I think I was able to explain it well enough, and convey the information clearly mostly, and I felt confident in my knowledge on the content! I feel a bit uncomfortable getting paid, because it makes me question whether I am worth receiving money for my time, and the quality of my teaching. Also, I thought it would be too much pressure, but its good because now when I am relearning chemistry, it’s not my marks on the line, it’s someone else, so it’s even more important to understand it. I think it went well though, and she seemed happy, and expecting to continue tutoring throughout the year, so I really hope so!!
Also, after we had been sitting at a table in the library for about 30mins, I realised we were sitting in the ‘quiet area’ oops, it was too late to move I think, but I felt bad for those studying around us, because they might have been disrupted from the talking.
I feel like this evaluation sounds too negative overall, because I’ve focussed on my insecurities, but it was so exciting to tutor someone!! I really hope I can make a strong positive influence on my students chemistry confidence and knowledge and marks!!!
Change of topic!
I recently started a gratitude journal that I have actually continued for 19days so far without missing any days!! It’s so fun! It’s on my phone, on an app which is why I think I have been so good at adding entries because I am addicted to my phone! hehe. Not only this, I started using an app called ‘daylio’ where you click a smileyface (either rad/good/meh/bad/awful), and click the activities you did that day! I really like it, I’m not sure what benefit it is meant to have, but I like seeing the line graph showing my mood for the past week/month/year. It had made me more mindful and conscious of how I feel and what I do each day, because it feels like there are endless holidays, so at it’s encouraging me to evaluate my days make them more meaningful, rather than let them flow away mindlessly. Also, my friend found a fitness app called ‘fiton’, where you can do workouts, and challenge others, which is an awesome idea because I thrive from competition!! I feel much more motivated to do it when I have to beat someone else! (we are both still on one workout each hehe).
Thanks for reading!!