Hello! I started this journal so that I'd have some form of pressure(?) to actually keep up with my studies haha...
I've had a read of some of the journal's here! Many people on the forum seem to be quite high achievers and their journals are written so well :OO
But for me I plan to write my journal a bit more laxxed, I hope thats alright haha
I'm not a great student and for privacy reasons I'd like to keep my subjects vague..
I'm not expecting too much of myself aaa rip
(though it would be really nice if I could get an ATAR in the 80s!!)
My subjects are:
Spoiler
Further
Englang
Legal
and
two Second Languages!! (I'm very worried about one of them bc I picked it up without the 1,2 rip)
I really regret dropping psych for the language. (I got 75% on a Psychology SAC and freaked out and picked up a language 3,4 I'm literally so dumb I know. I regret it a lot. I wasn't in the right state of mind at the time I guess..)
But no point complaining about it, I just need to do my best now! I can't believe that my Year 11 self thought that 75% on a SAC was so bad that I should drop the subject omg.... (if I get a 75% now I'm very happy hahaha...)
I'm.
So.
Stupid.
But I digress.
I'm really lost in further tbh, but I'm so scared to ask for help because further's supposed to be the "easy" subject...I think I'll ask one of my friends regarding the take home test tomorrow at school. The test is on Time Series; or how my friends and I belovingly call it T-Series hehehe; such a dead meme now...I'm so sorry.
Off topic but I recently quit my job and I need to find a new one...I'm a little stressed over this too?
EDITING TEN MILLION TIMES BC MY GRAMMAR OML
[Edit 2] Oh! I forgot to mention my goals, uhhhh
I hope to get 30~35 raw study scores in all of my subjects. Wish me luck please !!
oooo first update owo
First off, I'm really sorry to anyone that may have been effected by my previous thread title and my current username. I've changed it to something more appropriate, I didn't mean any malice by it and I definately dont take mental illness or anything of that nature lightly, if you're going through anything and need someone, please feel free to PM me! Unfortunately I couldnt find a way to change my username.
-
So I asked my friend about further and I think I get it now yayyy ^^ (it was really scary to ask, but she was really nice about it, thank god)
Aaa I dont think my legal teacher is the biggest fan of me; it's probably just me. But I feel really bad because I had him for legal last year as well and I did quite well (full marks for everything hehe) but now...
...
I'm not doing so well, in fact thats how I'm doing in all of subjects. And I'm really worried and a bit discouraged? Sorta kinda gave up but I haven't at the same time; afterall if I gave up why would I be on this forum hahaha
I feel like I've disappointed all of my teachers and I feel really bad;;;; at this point I want to do...decent for them.
I think it has something to do with many regrettable choices I made last year. T_T
One of which being:
I dropped "subject x" for Englang because it was the only subject that fit in my timetable and I really, really couldn't with that subject. I dropped Mainstream English for Englang because
1. I actually really like Englang!!
2. For end of year exams last year I got C+ for both; even though I studied really hard for mainstream and didn't bother studying or paying attention in class for Englang because my original plan was to just drop Englang this year (2019). Soooooo in that case I thought I'd be better off in Englang. But because my lazy soul didn't pay attention in class or study for Englang it was almost as if I was picking up Englang without the 1,2. And also my teacher's usless. Absoulutely useless. When I ask her a question she tells me to figure it out on my own...? Um? Bro I already did that, thats why I'm asking you??
Mini rant about my EngLang teacher
Spoiler
Honestly I think my class better off with having a vegetable for a teacher, because that's basically what our Englang teacher is; just in a permanent vegetated state. She sits at the front of the class; reads a passage off the textbook and then just sits there. When we ask her question she tells us that we need to figure it out ourselves or she dodges the question. I think its really sad how everyone and I mean everyone in my class as an Englang tutor. Afterall tutoring isn't cheap and some can't/struggle to afford it. So it really isn't fair I feel like. And because tutors are picking up her slack, our class isn't getting memed by Englang as a subject so she's probably under the assumption that she's doing a good job at teaching but...no? We've all written complaints about her to our assistant principal and he just wrote back some lame excuse for her, and sent it as a mass email (?) to our class. Ugh.
And another really depressing thing(?) is that the Englang teacher for the other class that
a c t u a l l y d o e s h e r j o b
comes into school on her days off to help us, because she wants us to do well. She's not getting paid for her time; she is coming into work to help us in her free time. I'm really grateful for that but that's so unfair on her. We had her as a sub once and we hinted to her that our teacher isn't doing anything to help us. Apparently she's emailed our teacher a bunch of worksheets and notes and our teacher never bothered to email them to us? What the fuuuuuuuuu
And then dropping psych oh my god, so much regret. So. Much. At the start of the year I begged my coordinator to let me pick up psych again but she wouldn't let me. Oh well; regretting and being sad isn't going to fix anything. I gotta work hard ad not give up! Even though I kinda have heh..
I just needed to a place to dump my thoughts so I'm sorry if there are any typos or grammar errors haha, expect to see a lot of that in this journal.
Anyway, here's today's mystery link of the day? Hahaha
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYzMYcUty6s