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March 29, 2024, 10:52:52 am

Poll

Should Poet and Lex get septum piercings together? 😜

YES YES YES YES
7 (70%)
ehhhh, nah
3 (30%)

Total Members Voted: 10

Voting closed: September 12, 2020, 06:56:10 pm

Author Topic: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!  (Read 37475 times)

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w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #15 on: January 25, 2019, 07:33:37 pm »
+2
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:19:50 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #16 on: January 26, 2019, 12:12:02 am »
+5
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:20:16 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #17 on: January 28, 2019, 10:05:05 pm »
+5
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:20:39 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

PhoenixxFire

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #18 on: January 28, 2019, 11:28:26 pm »
+9
yeah, you may hate me because I am a newbie here and omg she is already opening up and thinking she belongs here. and I hate to make anyone feel that way. I guess for a long time I have wanted somewhere to belong.
There's nothing you could say here that would make us hate you. You do belong here - don't doubt that.

What you've written here sounds incredibly similar to how I felt in year 10 and 11. It got to the point where at the end of year 11 I started distancing myself from a lot of my friends because it was just too stressful to be around them - not that I'm saying that's what you should do, it's just what I did.

I guess something you should try and remember is that you're not responsible for anyone else. That might sound kind of harsh, and it's totally fine to want to help other people, but if it's getting to the point where that's hurting you then sometimes you just need to take a step back.

From what you've said it sounds like you're trying to figure out who you are. Back when I was in year 10 I tried to do that by being alone a lot, I used to go riding my bike around the city, or just go exploring areas I hadn't been to - much to my mum's annoyance haha -  and it helped at the time, being away from people who knew me. By being around strangers I could really try and figure out who I wanted to be without being confined by how people expected me to act.

Obviously that's really hard to do in high school. I thought I'd figured out how to be me in year 12 - but really I hadn't, even just being out of school for a few months has helped.

in high school? you worry about everything. your hair, what food you eat, the way you dress, the money you have, the way people see you, everything. since high school I have become the most insecure, stressed, sad person I know. and nothing has happened to make it happen. it just did.
Despite how much it seems like everyone is judging you, really the majority of people are too busy worrying about themselves. Something I said in year 11 - originally out of anger, but I still stand by it - was something along the lines of 'you're going to find something to hate about me anyway, I'm only going to change me if I'm annoying myself.' That's easier said than done, but really, no matter what you do there's going to be someone who'll hate your hair, or your clothes, or your makeup, or the way you walk, and there's no point trying to please everyone - you won't succeed.

I'd encourage you to spend some time thinking about who you want to be - not what other people want you to be, or how you want others to perceive you - but what makes you comfortable and what makes you feel like yourself (if that makes any sense). Don't expect to figure it out straight away - it takes ages, but if you give it a bit of time and try a lot of different things eventually you'll start to figure out what makes you feel good - whether that's what clothes you like, or how you act, or any other variable.

It can certainly help to write down how you're feeling - both to force yourself to think about it, and to get a perspective from others on it and it's really great that you feel safe enough here to do that - and I hope you know that you're welcome to write down how you're feeling at any time, there'll be no judgement from us.

You might also find it helpful to talk to a teacher or your school's welfare department - I know you've said you appreciate the anonymity on here, if that's also the case with talking to adults then Kids Helpline have a phone number (1800 55 1800) which you can call anytime - they can be pretty helpful ^-^
2019: B. Environment and Sustainability/B. Science @ ANU
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mango8

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #19 on: January 29, 2019, 01:08:16 am »
+5

this is a bit of my story I guess.

hey there.

Firstly, no one hates you here, from what I’ve read from all your earlier journal posts, you are a bright and beautiful soul. We all want to belong somewhere, and for some of us, it takes a long while until we finally feel at peace with who we are and who we are surrounding ourselves with. You will always have a place here, everyone who comes here does. You matter, don’t ever doubt that.

High school is often filled with many fake, toxic people who bring you down and there very few people who are genuine. From my experience (this is a small proportion of people compared to the real world), girls, can really be too much, judgemental, slanderous and addicted to gossip and posting millions of pictures for attention, to get validation they so desperately seek, because deep down, they’re insecure. Guys, on the other hand, are a thousand times better and so much easier to talk to and you actually can enjoy spending time with them. And high school at the end of the day, is such a tiny part of your life, that will be so insignificant in a few years. You will find your place, and your people. We all change so much throughout life and only really find ourselves much later, our true selves emerge when we find our people and are comfortable being our true selves.

I understand what you mean completely. I just wrote all about that, I know what it’s like to give your all and always be there for people, only to get the bare minimum or nothing in return. To keep trying and trying but waiting for someone to fight for me and love me the way I do them. People don’t get that you can be surrounded by crowds of people, many whom you may consider friends and still always be on the precipice, like you’re watching everything through glass and you aren’t being seen. And you have to remember, you can’t solve everyone’s problems because you’ll just burn out. You can only do the best you can but you can’t be expected to give your everything all the time, it drains you, so for those people who really matter, let them know you care but that you can’t always be there to carry all their emotional baggage because then you’ll have nothing left. You need to look after you first.

You are capable and you can do anything. You have a fire inside of you and you will make amazing things happen. There will come a day when what people think doesn’t matter and you just won’t care anymore. Anyone who acts like nothing bothers them and they have such impenetrably thick skin and nothing can get to them is just lying to themselves, it’s just a shield to protect them from getting hurt, they put on the tough act, but really they hurt more than those who are ‘thin-skinned’.

One day you will look in the mirror and smile and love yourself and just be who you are when you figure out who that is. All this high school stuff, it’s all temporary. All those toxic people who we spend so much attention on, they won’t get anywhere in life, they won’t mean anything, because you don’t get anywhere by poisoning others around you, it’s people like you Lexie, who will be remembered in life. A time will come in a few years when you’ll find people who see your light and value and appreciate and adore and love you and won’t be able to imagine their world without you.

In the meantime, you will find people here who understand and care about you. Writing is extremely beneficial to let all the thoughts and feelings bogged down in our mind out and it means we can also try to offer our views and help out. Do all the things that bring you joy everyday and spend lots of time with dogs, who never judge you or care about who you are or how you speak or dress or look, all they want is you and your heart and that’s why dogs are the best thing to exist in this world because dogs are so pure and beautiful and perfect and will always love you. 

Hold on until then sweetie, this isn’t forever, we are rooting for you.





YangChiFan

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #20 on: January 29, 2019, 01:45:56 am »
+4
It's totally fine to be feeling what you're experiencing now.

As mentioned before from the other posts, high school is really filled with toxic and fake people.
As a fun anecdote, I remember in year 8, there were a group of girls that kept on bullying me. I never did anything but take their shit for the whole year. Anyways, fast forward a bit and I finally asked why they were doing the shit they did to me, and their reply was something really bullshit (can't remember too much) All my male 'friends' didn't really do anything even though they saw me always getting hurt, so I just disassociated myself with them. Follow up, the girls did kinda make amends with me (I even dated one of them, which later on sparked an unpleasant rumour throughout my whole entire cohort, but that's for another story).

I definitely experienced what you were feeling back in high school. I was self-conscious about myself and I always thought people were talking about me behind my back. You just need time to know who you really are with the help of elders or any other means. It gets better soon, I promise.
All the best.

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #21 on: January 29, 2019, 02:27:08 pm »
+2
.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:21:26 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #22 on: January 29, 2019, 02:38:56 pm »
+2
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:22:27 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #23 on: January 31, 2019, 04:02:52 pm »
+8
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:22:43 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

Joseph41

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #24 on: January 31, 2019, 04:08:27 pm »
+8
Hey!

If you replace the word "SAC" with "test", that's pretty much what it is haha. It's just a fancier word for pretty much what you would have experienced in earlier years. Typically the same sort of "exam conditions" will apply, but this will depend a bit on your school. But yeah, a drink bottle should be totally fine. If your school is super stringent, it might have to be see-through and with no labels, but this was never the case at my school.

I don't think it's weird, btw! I had a drink bottle in every single SAC and exam through Year 11 and Year 12. I think it's a great strategy! ;D

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Bri MT

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #25 on: January 31, 2019, 05:13:59 pm »
+5
Hey,


I'm glad to see that you've been able to find some support and relief from reaching out here - I know it can take a lot of courage to be open and share things, especially when you may have a frame of mind telling you the community doesn't want that (you're certainly allowed to talk about your experiences in your journal - including unpleasant ones - and you are part of the AN community).

It sucks that you didn't find KH very helpful the first time - good on you for giving it a shot though. In my experience it took talking to a few different counsellors (this was at school not over KH) for me to find someone who I connected with and worked well for me (& I have friends who have also found that it took them a few tries to find a mental health professional who was a good fit); so, as hard as it can be, I would recommend that you keep trying to find a better fit for you. Definitely no judgement here for struggling with that - I just want to help you aid yourself.


As for your questions: 
- J41 has it 100% correct. It might help to know that SAC stands for School Assessed Coursework
- I'd probably wear it up if hot weather is forecasted. What's least effort/time and most comfotable for you?
- I always wear short socks so I'd go with that. Maybe consider the weather and what you'd be most comfortable in?
- I've make up a grand total of twice in my life so I'd go with no BUT if anyone judges someone for "trying too hard" I'd consider that to be an incredibly not valuable opinion and try not to pay it any attention. In fact, I might pity them for time & energy they're wasting on those thoughts  and the opportunities that's denying them.
- yeah, I clearly have no idea where they are but best of luck finding them

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #26 on: January 31, 2019, 11:30:41 pm »
+4
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:27:53 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

PhoenixxFire

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #27 on: January 31, 2019, 11:49:19 pm »
+3
So even in yr 12 exams (like the major ones) your aloud a drink bottle?

anyways I will give an update tomorrow about my first day! should probably head to bed, I am getting up early to stop my first day jitters!
Yep you're allowed a drink bottle in any SAC or exam - for the year 12 exams it has to be a clear bottle with no labels though.

Good luck for tomorrow!
2019: B. Environment and Sustainability/B. Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing
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Poet

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #28 on: January 31, 2019, 11:57:00 pm »
+3
(darn, Phoenixx beat me to the waterbottle thing  :D)

Good luck for tomorrow!! We'll be cheering you on and ready to lend support from here. You'll be fine. ❤️
Thoughts are only thoughts.
They are not you. You do belong to yourself,
even when your thoughts don't.

Dealing with Year 12 - Put Your Mental Health at the Forefront
A Little Guide to Healthy Eating

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #29 on: February 01, 2019, 10:17:16 pm »
+3
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:28:31 am by w0lfqu33n89 »