Chemistry rationale feedback

[Sxavi0]

Can someone please read my rationale and give me feedback? I am supposed to have a considered rationale that links directly to the research questions and it must discuss the purpose of the experiment and the reason for modifying the original experiment. Thank you!

[Bri MT]

Hey!

Welcome to the forums

Looking at your research question, I think you're on the right path but it's phrased a little bit awkwardly e.g. are you measuring the concentration or the volume of hydrogen gas?

Throughout your text make sure you also check your use of capitalisation is correct.

For your rationale in particular,
> consider starting more broadly (with redox in general) before narrowing down on your experiment
> the "(electrode reduction potential)" being listed after the full stop is place a bit awkwardly. I recommend either moving this before the full stop, removing it, or expanding it out into a full sentence.
> Your rationale implies that you want to know about rate of reaction (how are you measuring this) whereas your research question refers to concentration of hydrogen gas.
> be careful - amount and concentration aren't the same thing
> Consider including the redox equation you are investigating -> use the equation to help you describe the theoretical relationship
> The reference to oxidation levels of magnesium is confusing - are you saying this in terms of knowing much much magnesium has reacted?

Methodology:
> The first sentence doesn't say much of anything, consider starting out by describing the original experiment.
> You may some good points, but consider using less-loaded and more precise terms like "qualitative" rather than "purely subjective"
see also: "unreliable", "imprecise" etc. rather than "uncredible"
> Be careful with tense
> This looks unfinished - make sure you don't forget to come back to it

I hope you find this helpful!
best of luck

[Sxavi0]

Hey!

Welcome to the forums

Looking at your research question, I think you're on the right path but it's phrased a little bit awkwardly e.g. are you measuring the concentration or the volume of hydrogen gas?

Throughout your text make sure you also check your use of capitalisation is correct.

For your rationale in particular,
> consider starting more broadly (with redox in general) before narrowing down on your experiment
> the "(electrode reduction potential)" being listed after the full stop is place a bit awkwardly. I recommend either moving this before the full stop, removing it, or expanding it out into a full sentence.
> Your rationale implies that you want to know about rate of reaction (how are you measuring this) whereas your research question refers to concentration of hydrogen gas.
> be careful - amount and concentration aren't the same thing
> Consider including the redox equation you are investigating -> use the equation to help you describe the theoretical relationship
> The reference to oxidation levels of magnesium is confusing - are you saying this in terms of knowing much much magnesium has reacted?

Methodology:
> The first sentence doesn't say much of anything, consider starting out by describing the original experiment.
> You may some good points, but consider using less-loaded and more precise terms like "qualitative" rather than "purely subjective"
see also: "unreliable", "imprecise" etc. rather than "uncredible"
> Be careful with tense
> This looks unfinished - make sure you don't forget to come back to it

I hope you find this helpful!
best of luck

Hello! Thank you so much for your feedback! I revised my rationale and applied most of your feedback. I will fix the rest when i edit it again. Can you please review it again? I’m mostly concerned about the 3rd paragraph of my rationale. I need to scientifically explain what I expect to happen in the experiment. Since it’s a student experimental, I’m not sure how detailed it has to be or if my explanation is accurate. I have to link it back to the topic: redox reactions/electrochemistry. Are there any other aspects within the topic I should explain in my rationale? Thanks.

[Bri MT]

Hey,

- Be wary of strong language like "must"
- You could be more succinct in places and probably do want to bring your word count down
- Your description of redox at the start is accurate
- "the greater the oxidation of metal" is ambiguous - are you increasing the rate of oxidation or how oxidised something is
- If you are saying something is the standard procedure I would expect a reference which backs that up
- Be careful with caps - you have unnecessary capital letters throughout your text
- I'm assuming "hydrochronic acid" is a typo
- Your 2nd last sentence in the 3rd paragraph is wordy and could be either simplified down or removed.


I hope this helps!