It is through Eliot’s rhetoric we better understand the human mind.Eliot’s rhetoric allows readers to further grasp and shape their comprehension of
context ...the context of what exactly? This is kind of like saying 'he allows the readers to have a more enlightened view' as opposed to '...view of humanity's shortcomings' or 'view of the limitations of man's aspirations.' Without a bit more specificity, this seems a bit weird. In doing so, Eliot aids readers in gaining a better understanding of humanity and its psychological and internal state of mind.
I think this sentence could have easily been combined with the previous ones to form a single, strong introductory line rather than two shorter ones. Works of Eliot, such as ‘The Love song of J. Alfred Prufrock’,
love this poem... never got to study it in high school... feel my envy... ‘Preludes’ and ‘Rhapsody on a windy night’ explore the themes of
emotions 'emotions' isn't really a thematic idea, could you be a bit more specific here? Which emotions are involved? What is Eliot doing with or saying about such emotions?, internal isolation,
and the consequences of the rise of urbanisation
and its consequences. Each poem
engendered within a vast, distinct context, what does this mean? How can something be 'vast' and 'distinct?'contributing contributes to a stronger understanding of how Eliot utilises time and place in his poetry to shape the reader's’ understanding of
context. see above regarding having a more specific argument here The context sets the tone for the reader. This is quite short and stilted for an opening sentence. It's also quite a generic sentence, meaning that it doesn't tell your reader anything that's particularly pertinent to the discussion. Your next sentence has a similar problem: Eliot’s works are known to rather than saying something about what his works are known for (which is tangentially relevant,) try to instead focus on what Eliot intends to do using verbs like 'suggests/implies/vilifies/exalts/critiques' etc. which is much more central to the task stir a morbid, depressed feeling within readers. This is due to
the reality Eliot explores through urban lifestyle are you trying to say that Eliot explores the reality of the urban lifestyle? I'm a bit confused by your sentence structure here and how it adds to the meaninglessness of life within society. ‘The Love song of J. Alfred Prufrock’,
said to be the first poem Eliot wrote in 1910-1911, this doesn't really tell us anything important explores the internal isolation and
instillment of inferiority through the
soliloquy this is a term that applies to plays, it doesn't really work when talking about poems of the persona adopted by Prufrock in a society that does not notice him. Although the title ‘The Love song of J. Alfred Prufrock’ suggests and expresses a romantic aura in accordance with the
noun “love” technically this is an adjective here, since the word 'love' is saying something about the word 'song,' but you could also argue 'love song' is a noun on its own... so I think you'd be better off just saying 'the word 'love'' here, though I like the specificity, Eliot ironically relates nothing to the euphoric, giddy, nervous feeling of “love”. This in turn
portrays conveys to the audience that there is a possibility he is too shy to speak openly and freely, although Eliot portrays Prufrock as a
recreant word check; 'recreant' pertains to cowardliness and betrayal, which I don't think is relevant here. 'Reclusive' would be more accurate figure. Contrary to his faintheart, there
were are (keep a consistent present tense when talking about events in the text) moments when he nearly overcomes his immense fear of rejection when
he rhetorically asks, “Do I dare?" I'm not sure this is rhetorical; you could argue that it is, but you need to support that judgment here. However, although
acknowledging he acknowledges the women, he is being entranced by trivial pleasures like coffee and peaches
that the audience is led to believe whether or not he truly is in love or if it is just attraction or lust losing the thread of the sentence here; perhaps try to separate this off so you can make it more grammatical. As pointed out by critic Mutlu Konuk Blasing, “The poem is a dramatic monologue
[and] a mimesis of speech…”,
which further frames the persona of Prufrock and
his internal isolation and instillment of inferiority you've said this before already; try to vary your vocabulary through the
perpetual context what do you mean by this? of a meaningless society. Eliot explores through the
persona of Prufrock an emotionally detached personality
of Prufrock _____? There's something missing here! What is Eliot exploring? as seen in the lines of, “In the room the women come and go/ Talking of Michelangelo.” This starts the
process of which Prufrock starts to feel intimidated so Prufrock is intimidated by the process? Your expression is a bit confusing here; keep things simple adding to the fusion of
emotion which emotions? as stated by Eliot himself in his essay ‘Tradition and the Individual Talent’ in which
the context of an ordinary modern man experiences inferiority and faces despair
of life as he is not a “Michelangelo”. The quote “For I have known the eyes already, known them all-/ The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,” further
exploits the persona’s confidence diminishing I'm assuming you mean 'explores' here? A line of poetry can't really 'exploit' an idea having being surrounded by women who do not cast a single glance his way. Prufrock asking rhetorical questions, “To wonder, ‘Do I da
re?’” and “Do I dare?”, reinforces the idea of the internal isolation he is experiencing
to the audience in his soliloquy. Thus reestablishes This is a fragmented sentence; I've written a fuller explanation of why this is in my feedback to summerxyingshi if you want to scroll up and check that out. But here, you need to either say 'Thus, Eliot reestablishes...' or 'This reestablishes...' to make the sentence grammatical the internal state of inferiority which sets the morbid tone underpinning
the context of when urban life highlighted the meaningless of life in society. Notice how the topic you're responding to calls on you to explore how Eliot's rhetoric allows us to understand the human mind? That's what you should be building out to as your focus! These points about social context are okay, but they're not what the topic is asking for. You haven't said much here about the audience's understanding of the human mind, so you'd need to reshape your arguments to suit this discussion.‘Preludes’, the title can be viewed by the audience as ironic, such as much like ‘The Love song of J. Alfred Prufrock’ and ‘Rhapsody on a Windy Night’ as it creates expectations about the poem’s contents that are not fulfilled. Try to begin your paragraph with a broad idea, not a point of close analysis. Tell me what concepts you intend to focus on before you start zooming in to evidence. The
context what are you talking about when you say 'the context of the poems?' Because that would usually mean the socio-historical context, being when and where they're written, and that doesn't seem to be what you're intending here of Eliot's Preludes conveys the mundane and repetitive nature of lives in the modern, urban world. The poem itself consists of four descriptions of urban life at different times of the day. Within this day the dreariness and futility of human existence is highlighted. One critic in particular, J.Hillis Miller stated, “Space must be exterior to the self if movement through it is to be more than the following of a tedious argument in the mind.” which accentuates
the mind and how Eliot explores the mind in the human existence through his poems is there anything else you can say here? What is Eliot saying about the human mind? And what does this have to do with the start of that quote where the critic talks about space and selfhood? The first prelude
“evening settles down” this quote isn't integrated depicts a rainy, windswept evening that seems to educe that dreary feel of the day's end, especially with the imagery of strewn newspapers as leftover, unwanted rubbish.
Good stuff! The monotonous rain beating down together along with the rhymes “passageways - days”, “wraps - scraps” and “lots -pots”
the convention here would be to say "passageways" and "days," "wraps" and "scraps" etc. since quoting "passageways - days" implies those words occur one after another in the poem, which isn't true where coupled with the
repetitive repeated sibilance of the 's' endings adds a sense of dullness and weariness to the prelude.
<-- Excellent analysis here! The broad descriptive language accurately assists the audience in comprehending and shaping their understanding of context. this sentence is way too general; what 'broad descriptive language' are you talking about, and what's the 'context' here? Also, you need to link ^this idea to the following one--> The start of the third prelude portrays the dark
, early hours of the morning. In this section of the poem the persona begins to use 'you' in an almost authoritative tone
. "You" in such a context, depicts to characterise one of the many “lifeless” people living in this hollow
ness society. As stated by T.S Eliot himself, “
It what's 'it??' may be formed out of one emotion, or may be a combination of several; and various feelings, inhering for the writer in particular words or phrases or images, may be added to compose the final result.”,
which prominently addresses the consequences of urbanisation does it? I'm not seeing the connection here and therefore allows the audience
to assemble a refined understanding of context what does this mean? and how it aids their understanding of tone within poetry.
Okay, but that's not the focus here - take your discussion back to the notion of understanding the human mind.^Link?-->Eliot’s works do not stray far from the inevitable timelessness that enables readers to understand a modern context.
Again, this doesn't strike me as a very relevant argument seeing as you're meant to be examining how his poems enable the audience to better understand human psychology and conscience. The poem ‘Rhapsody on a Windy Night’ explores themes of isolation and meaninglessness in society through the emotions of a single person. His journey involves going through a cross of reality and imagination as seen in,
“Dissolve the floors of memory” this isn't really integrated disintegrating reality from hallucinations of the mind. As time goes by the person gets closer and closer to their breaking point expressed in the simile, “Beats like a fatalistic drum,” adding to the
suspense of the inevitability is it suspenseful or inevitable? Those two words seem like of like antonyms in this context of the person’s fate.
Eliot successfully writes of events that the audience can relate to therefore instituting a greater understanding of context as it is easily relatable. not sure about the relevance of this? The context you should be linking this to is the idea of the human mind, and that hasn't been made clear here. The audience therefore gain a better understanding of poetry in the modern context as familiar emotions experienced by individuals are adopted by Eliot to bring to life “a new art emotion”. Critic Charles Altieri from the Department of English at UC Berkeley, states, “Eliot experimented with modes of presenting and projecting desire more immediate and also more inherently social than the culturally dominant modes of linking affects to causal narratives. And in doing that he developed an abstract modern imaginative space radically new for English poetry.”
minor point, but don't end the quote with a full stop if you intend to continue your sentence. Just leave it out here; you can change the punctuation pretty freely with little stuff like this - the assessors won't pull you up because a comma was out of place unless you somehow drastically alter the meaning of that quote which in turn enhanced the chance of the audience to read and reshape their
understanding of a modern context. see end comments regarding your use of the word 'context.' & ^link?-->Throughout the poem, the lamp becomes known as the medium
'symbol' might be more appropriate here into which Eliot uses to reflect and represent what the person is thinking. “The street lamp sputtered,/ The street lamp muttered,” symbolises one losing their mind as their internal mind gears are “sputtering” and “muttering” also symbolising being overworked, almost as if it were weary and tired. However when repeated in stanza five, it is almost as if the lamp is becoming less easier to hear, coinciding with the fact that the person may be regaining consciousness and coming back to reality. This relates to the feeling of despair of life as the person who wandered the streets alone lead nowhere but where they started in which they finally reach a breaking point with their conjured emotions.
Everything up to this point is really good, and it seems like you're building towards a point of discussion regarding what Eliot is saying about the human mind... This then exposes the audience to embrace and relate to a modern context which explores time and place within Eliot’s work. ...but that last sentence is letting you down a bit. It's quite general, and we're not interested in the notions of time and place, we want to know what you have to say about the prompt's key words and key ideas.In contrast to ‘Rhapsody on a Windy night’, ‘Hollow men’ has more biblical and historical references. However, both are similar in that emotion is essentially a key concept within both poems.
Much better linking! This is a great start. As explained in T.S Eliot’s essay, “The experience you will notice, the elements which enter the presence of the transforming catalyst, are of two kinds: emotions and feelings.” Is this quote relevant to what you're discussing? I can't see a connection on the surface, and it's up to you to make that obvious. The poem, ‘Hollow men’ brings to life religion through aspects of biblical references and epigraphs of other texts.
This adds to the timelessness of Eliot’s poems as he adopts excerpts from other texts in doing so creates a piece of work that the audience is able to form an understanding of a modern context. That may be true, but it's not relevant. ‘Hollow men’ explores the experience of being a part of the world as seen in, “Let me also wear/ Such deliberate disguises” as it
symbolises the world as broken
therefore ultimately links to despair about life this sentence is getting messy; try not to let them run on for too long as that seems to be when things start to get ungrammatical as their hope is nothing but
metaphorically “a a metaphorical "fading star.” This loss of hope
symbolises a religious allusion and reflects Jesus’ light as a sign of hope for the “Hollow men”.
The audience can relate to this in their modern context as Eliot never fails to include familiar experiences to ensure they are able to fully understand. Essentially comparing sentence fragment the “empty men” to scarecrows as when they both burn, they end up as nothing but ashes - no different from each other which adds to the hollowness of the “hollow men”.
In describing the men, tThe earth has also been described as a “hollow valley” as
symbolised through the words, “prickly pear” reflecting the unsterile,
waste, barren
wasteland. As critic Altieri explains, “his formal and thematic elements are woven into specific emotional configurations explored within the work,”.
Eliot’s essay on ‘Tradition and the Individual talent’ wait, so, this critic's comment 'reflects' Eliot's essay? What are you trying to say here? as he states,
“It may be formed out of one emotion or may be a combination of several, and various feelings controlled through our minds, inhering for the writer in particular words or phrases or images, may be added to compose the final result.”. You've used this quote in your second body paragraph already. Therefore successfully sentence fragment incorporates experiences and emotions of the audience, exploring how time and place are used by Eliot to form an understanding of context.
Same problem as the above paragraphs - you're drawing all of your points out to a discussion of Eliot's work an its modern context, but there's nothing here about the human mind and the key concern of the prompt.The timeless works of Eliot allows readers to further comprehend and shape their understanding of context. Thus, the audience can successfully embrace an insightful, informative and broad understanding of
humanity and its psychological and internal state of mind. this is the first hint I've gotten that you're acknowledging the topic, and this is way too late. Try and flesh out this idea a bit more and expand on the notion of humanity's 'state of mind'. This can be seen in works of Eliot, such as ‘The Love song of J. Alfred Prufrock’, ‘Preludes’ and ‘Rhapsody on a windy night’ that explore the themes of internal isolation, rise of urbanisation and its consequences and emotions. This feels a bit repetitious; most of these points have been made already, and you've used very similar words to do so here. Each poem dispenses a deep understanding of how time and place are used to shape a reader’s understanding of context. Right, but how is this linked to the prompt?Okay, so there's some solid analysis in this piece, and you're using great metalanguage to describe Eliot's rhetoric. Your understanding of the poems was pretty spot on, though it would've been good to see some comparison and contrast between the ones you discuss.
Here's the really big thing though: you need a thesis statement. More accurately, you need a relevant thesis statement that connects your discussion to the prompt. At the moment, you seem to be trying to argue something along the lines of 'The sense of time and place in Eliot's poems helps readers understand their modern context,' but what you should be arguing is 'Eliot's rhetoric aids him in suggesting that the human mind is an intricate and complex thing' or 'Eliot's poetry shows audiences what happens to the human mind when it is isolated and lonely' etc. Basically, what do you have to say about the link between the essay topic you've been given? In this case, what is Eliot saying about the human mind!?
Your use of the word 'context' was also quite ambiguous in places, and I think being more specific about the contexts you're referring to would be very helpful. This seems like it was the product of you taking an essay that was originally intended for a different prompt and transposing it here, which is okay, but you need to know how to adapt your piece and make it suit this discussion. A lot of this evidence would work for multiple prompts, but without you consciously moulding your argument, I'm left wondering whether any of it is relevant.
There are a few key places in your essay where you should be tailoring your piece to the prompt, particularly the starts and ends of your paragraphs, so perhaps work on making those as precise as possible so as to better communicate to your assessor what your thesis statement is.
Aside from that, your discussion was really good, and you just need to keep an eye on little things like sentence fragments and word choices. Also, there were a few sentences that were a bit too short and jarring, and others that were too long and got a little bit rambly and confusing, so just watch out for your sentence length to make sure your writing is as clear as possible