Evolio's VCE Journey

[homeworkisapotato]

Hey Evolio, I know it's hard to pull yourself back up again because I too understand that it's hard to believe the positive side "when it's all just speculation" but you seriously still have a chance! You still have your vce exams which can definitely pull your atar up! You can do this!

[Evolio]

Hey Bri! 

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. It’s hard not to feel belittled when your goals seem so far out of reach. It’s just hard sometimes for these numerical scores not to determine my worthiness, especially since as you said, med schools want these crazy atars and crazy ucat scores, making me believe that if I don’t achieve them, then I’m sort of ‘not allowed’ to get in, or that ‘I’m not accepted’. But then again, the reason I believe they have these high expectations is because it’s super competitive and so many people are aiming for med. I’m considering moving interstate as well to maximise my chances.

I didn’t think of it that way, with resilience, but I see that it is important. I’m grateful that I’m facing hardship ( as weird as that sounds), because it’s making me a stronger person who’ll adapt to challenges later in life. Thank you for your kind words and for making me look at these feelings from a fresh perspective! I'll definitely keep that in mind. You've always been there for me from day one so thank you!

you take everything so serious. just do ur best and not be defined by a number. so sad society has become this

I need to take things seriously, because if I don't, then I won't get anywhere. When you're trying to achieve goals, you need to push yourself and be hard on yourself, otherwise you won't accomplish what you wanted to, especially if it's difficult to achieve them. Yes, ATARs don't define you, but the reason I'm aiming for a higher one is because I need it for the course to be competitive.

I think Evolio has every right to feel disappointed (though they shouldn't be because the score they achieved is amazing nonetheless . It is absolutely normal to be disappointed when we do not achieve as highly as one wants and we shouldn't judge that. But please, do not go commenting that they "take everything so serious," as disappointment is normal.

It is far from over, your goals are far from "shattered" and your chances are far from "gone." You have one thing that most people don't and it's that passion and I swear to you that thing will get you through. If it helps, the interview matters too and I know a number of people from Monash who got in with UCAT scores of mid 80s. I know it probably won't help to give you a comparison of some sort but I hope it gives you some peace of mind that it's not over.

Congrats on everything you've achieved thus far. Keep your chin up and keep going, keep remembering the goal that you have in mind and let that propel you forward rather than drag you back.

Thank you angrybiscuit! 
I just need to keep ploughing on and trying even harder and hopefully I'll get there in the end. That's true, although the interview is another thing to worry about...No. I need to focus on my ATAR and I can worry about that later. I've just got to keep my eyes on the prize and keep going.
I hope you have a great week!

Hey Evolio, I know it's hard to pull yourself back up again because I too understand that it's hard to believe the positive side "when it's all just speculation" but you seriously still have a chance! You still have your vce exams which can definitely pull your atar up! You can do this!

Hey homeworkisapotato! Yeah, I've just to keep going and hopefully, I'll push through and get to the other side. 

Thank you so much for your support everyone!

[ashmi]

Hey hey Evolio!💕💫

Jumping on with what Bri MT, angrybiscuit and Potato have said above, you have already achieved so much already and I'm pretty sure each and every one of us is proud of you for the amount of resilience and dedication you have.

It is absolutely fine to feel disappointed at times and your feelings are 100% valid. You most certainly have a chance and even if it looks like the probabilities are stacking against you, the chance is still there. I understand [maybe not to the fullest extent] what you mean by everyone seems so far ahead, but just remind yourself that you are running your own marathon.

Spoiler

Now let me just remind you of the beautiful qualities you have:
✨Outgoing, energetic and a bubbly personality with such a strong passion when it comes to her goals
✨Always willing to help anyone out no matter what, even in times when you are super busy
✨"Bounces back" even in the toughest of times
✨One of AN's best cheerleaders when it comes to motivation and support
✨Very good patience
✨A one-of-a-kind beautiful soul that you cannot miss
✨Looks at the positives no matter how negative things get
✨Adapts quickly and take initiative to improve!
✨A strong heart that belongs to an amazing person
✨Has excellent food taste [Yes Carbonara I see you. Ashmi approved 💯]

Keep going sister and we are all here to support you every step of the way!

Also, loving the game plans! You are super organised and woohoo congrats that you have finished the content!!!! Big achievement alone and definitely worth celebrating. Thanks for the journal update Evolio and I'm looking forward to seeing some more from you in the future💕

[Evolio]

Hey hey Ash! 

Thank you so much!

So true though. I AM running my own race and I've really got to just focus on my own goals.

Aww, that spoiler honestly made me so happy! *virtual hug*

You're honestly my real life guardian angel. So grateful for your encouragement and positive vibes! 💕

😂, let's hope that I stick to those plans and not go on a rampage when doing questions.

Have a great week Ash!

[Geoo]

I'm a little late, but just like the other amazing posts, you have achieved so much throughout the year, and I am so proud of you for the strength, work ethic, resilience and kindness you have shown throughout your VCE journey. It's okay to go through the rocky emotions that come with disappointment, it's all apart of being human. I think the important thing to remember that this won't last forever, and there may still be a chance, you never know, but it's important not to give up hope. Out of all the things vce can put us through, it is certainly the number game. It's hard not to associate yourself with all of these numbers the year throws at as, and at the time it can feel as if it means everything or nothing at all. It's certainly hard to overcome, but you just have to remember you are as a person, and that shouldn't be defined by what you do or what numbers you get. Its still screws with my mind every once and a while!

I have absolutely no doubt that you'll get where you want to be, whether it takes the low road or the high road. Wishing you the best, and take a break if you need it. Taking a step back can go along way, especially when dealing with with uncertainty and disappointment. Your an amazing person and it has been amazing to always read an update from you! Here if you need
Take it easy and best of luck with the chem SAC!

[Evolio]

Hey Geoo!

Thank you so much for your support!  Yeah, I've got to keep pushing and hopefully it works out in the end. I can't give up now when it's all ending very soon and it's so close to the finish line. The numbers game is tough and as you've said, it's hard not to get caught up in it but yeah, it's better to just do your maximal best and keep going with all your work.

Have a great week, Geoo!

[Evolio]

Time for another update

I feel like I always update after sacs but then again, it's much more relaxing to write after a sac rather than the night before one. Not much has happened but I still want to update this journal regularly.

Specialist Mathematics
I have a lesson with my tutor tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to it because I'm so lost about how to prepare for Specialist. I don't want Specialist to be another repeat of Methods and I really want to improve my timing and skills in time for exam. Over the past few days, I've been feeling really pessimistic about Spec (what's new, am I right?!), and it's a very dangerous mindset because there's not long to go and I can't be having breakdowns. What really irks me is silly mistakes as they always bring me DOWN, to the depths of the earth, and it's just humiliating. I have one more sac and I've really got to ace it.

Literature
I've written two analyses for 2 Ariel poems and surprisingly, it was much more fun than I thought it'd be! 😍 Let's keep this up! I have 9 more poems to write analyses for but in the meantime, I need to be refining my analyses continuously. For Section A, I'm really comfortable with post-colonial theory for Othello but not really feminist so I've got to brush up on that and make structured notes. I'm aiming to handwrite regularly (and timed!) as well as I do ALL of my lit work on my laptop which isn't great for the final exam. I still have one more sac to go but it's literally the repeat of sac 1 lol.

Chemistry
I've basically finished the content but there is A LOT to go over *ahem* organic reaction pathways and basically that whole AOS. I've started exam questions but they're proving to be really difficult and some of the questions are straight up weird. The company's known for difficult questions but my teacher recommended it. I have one more sac to go.

Psychology
OMG, all our sacs are being crammed into the span of 5 days!? Like, I had one just now and then we have one next week 🤦‍♀️. We're rushing through everything insanely fast and we literally finished the content yesterday. I don't know: maybe it's just me but I prefer to have a 2 week period after we've finished content (at least!) before we do the sac. Anyways, I'm just trying to do my best on the sacs and I'm really counting on the exam to boost me.

Miscellaneous

Ever since last Saturday, I've been using study with me videos, particularly Study Vibes' channel and OMG, it's helping me so much with being productive and it's making studying FUN. It's very comforting that I'm not alone in this and makes it feel like I'm not the only one studying, because I have a feeling, that's what makes me 'unproductive' and 'unmotivated' because I see no one else studying. It's been a real game changer for me and I've managed to get so much done, even the tasks that I loathed doing in the beginning, such as lit, but it became easier as time went by.  Studying is turning out to be more enjoyable which is making it easier to do all these exam preparations. Although, I still have fluctuations in motivation so that's a thing but this newfound comfort is helping me so much. I'm trying to balance everything but I still haven't started preparing for the GAT, interviews or even started any applications. So much to do but too little time...imagine if there wasn't lockdown, I'd be so tired and have literally no time to do anything!

Another magical thing. I forgot to mention this in the last update (I don't know how?! My brain must have died when I was writing the update), but I reconnected with a friend recently after 11 years and it was amazing! We were super duper close friends in prep. But then, she left to another country. BUT, just recently, she reached out to me via Facebook by sending me a friend request and we talked and talked and talked. It was such a wonderful surprise to see when I finally reset my password and I really hope we can meet again some day

Have a great weekend everyone

[brothanathan]

Time for another update

Daym, it's surreal that you got in touch with a friend you haven't spoken to for 11 years AND YEP the study vibe channel is insane. 12 hour super-revision days.. Oouf 

Hang in there Evolio, trying to find yourself while seeking the acceptance of others, is a dangerous feat. You don't need to seek validation from anyone else but you

Take care you legend, my PMs are always open for a vent or two 

[homeworkisapotato]

I have one more sac and I've really got to ace it.

You can do this fam!

I still have one more sac to go but it's literally the repeat of sac 1 lol.

All the best!!

I've started exam questions but they're proving to be really difficult and some of the questions are straight up weird. The company's known for difficult questions but my teacher recommended it. I have one more sac to go.

I hear you with questions being weird. They sometimes make me feel like stopping the exam ahaha but dw you've only got one sac left!

Anyways, I'm just trying to do my best on the sacs and I'm really counting on the exam to boost me.

What a great mindset! I wish I was more like you dude. Seriously.


It's so cool that you're in touch with a friend from eleven years ago! Sometimes life throws mud at you but times like these feel magical. It's great that you've find your key to motivation with the study vibe channel, I know you will definitely keep the amazing work up. All the best for your sacs, I'm sure you'll do great!

[Evolio]

Daym, it's surreal that you got in touch with a friend you haven't spoken to for 11 years AND YEP the study vibe channel is insane. 12 hour super-revision days.. Oouf 
Hang in there Evolio, trying to find yourself while seeking the acceptance of others, is a dangerous feat. You don't need to seek validation from anyone else but you
Take care you legend, my PMs are always open for a vent or two 

Hey brothanathan!
Yeah, it's pretty cool, isn't it? Definitely one of the highlights of this year. Haha, study vibes' is amazing, I'm so glad I found it because now I have a virtual study buddy instead of studying alone, which definitely made studying super hard.
That's so true.
Thank you. Take care too and all the best for Year 12 and exams!

You can do this fam!
All the best!!
I hear you with questions being weird. They sometimes make me feel like stopping the exam ahaha but dw you've only got one sac left!
What a great mindset! I wish I was more like you dude. Seriously.
It's so cool that you're in touch with a friend from eleven years ago! Sometimes life throws mud at you but times like these feel magical. It's great that you've find your key to motivation with the study vibe channel, I know you will definitely keep the amazing work up. All the best for your sacs, I'm sure you'll do great!

Hey homeworkisapotato! Yes! Can't wait to finish all my sacs and then I can just focus on exam revision! But then again, my sacs aren't until a bit later so I can afford to ignore them for a while haha.
Thank you for your kind words and good luck with your bio exam revision!

[homeworkisapotato]

Can't wait to finish all my sacs and then I can just focus on exam revision!

There's nothing that feels better than having all your sacs lifted off your shoulder ahahaha

good luck with your bio exam revision!

Thank you so much <3 It means the world

[Evolio]

Omg, I’ve been gone for sooo long, you guys must have thought I journeyed to a foreign land and had never come back. Anyways, I’m back! 

Honestly, I’m feeling exactly how I thought I’d be feeling at this time: numb. I feel like I’m a very emotionless person and I don’t really feel the immense relief that many people feel after their exams. After my Psychology exam, I felt numb and I didn’t even feel stressed for any of my exams. I don’t know whether this is a gift or something to be worried about. Does it mean I ‘don’t care’ or is it because I’m ‘confident’ (whatever that means). I mean, I definitely feel unburdened and free like a bird but at the same time, I’m just like whatever. Maybe it’s because I’m so tired, I can’t feel anything or it’s the fact that I haven’t put as much effort into this year.

I don’t feel it now but there are moments when my heart starts racing super fast whenever I think about that day: 30th December. I know I should enjoy my life right now (13 years of schooling are done, for goodness sake! You should definitely celebrate that!) but I can’t help thinking about my ATAR. I’m 99.99% sure I won’t get a 99 ATAR and I don’t even know if I’ll get a 98 ATAR. Heck, I’m not even sure if I’ll get a 95 ATAR. I don’t think I put in the amount of effort that constitutes a 98 ATAR. All in all, that day’s going to be the scariest day of my entire life and I’ve had a lot of stressful stuff happen in my life. It all went downhill after lockdown started. Some of my teachers are like ‘whatever happens, we’ll be proud of you. You've had a tough year and you've endured so much' and I agree with them but not to a full extent. I don’t want to be like ‘yeah, this year was hard and so whatever ATAR I get, you did the best you could etc. It doesn't matter if I get a bad ATAR'. Because, I'm still going to be sad in the end and feel that I haven't worked hard. Like, although they endured a lot, there are going to be people who achieve really good scores for their subjects for instance. A lot of people I know say that they're expecting a sub 30 study score and end up with 45+ study scores but I don't think that's going to happen to me as I genuinely feel that I didn't put enough effort. However, thinking like this isn’t going to change the disappointment I feel when I receive that abysmal ATAR. But then again, I can’t really change that, can I? Oh, how I wish I could invent a time machine and travel back in time to the end of Year 10 and just do it all over again. That’s literally my biggest desire right now. This immense regret I have; some of you might think I’m being dramatic but I don’t think anything in my entire life will be worse than this.

Study score predictions (*cue deflated sigh*):

Literature: 39
Okay, all my sac scores were in the 90s but everyone’s (in the cohort) scores were probs in the 90s as our cohort’s so strong lol. So, my sac scores are probably going to scale down. Also, we were allowed notes for all our sacs and we never had a real sac I did minimal work for this subject throughout the year as I was only doing work whenever we had sacs; I wasn’t consistent. And I was reading critical articles like crazy in the month before my exam, making mindmaps when I should have been doing that throughout the year!! I’m honestly so surprised that I managed to nearly finish the answer booklet. I thought I wouldn’t be able to write two full essays, but I did and I’m happy about that.

Specialist Maths: 36
My sac scores aren’t that great (what a surprise) + I probably made a lot of silly mistakes. Exam 1 was disgusting with all that ugly algebra but exam 2 was much better. Although, I probably made very dumb mistakes so yay. Failure, here I come…

Psychology: 40
This exam was the hardest I had ever done. I found the MC much better than 2019. But, short-answer, wHaT? I actually died during that exam. My teacher talked to me afterwards (on the day of the lit exam, lol) and she was super sweet, asking me how I found it and how she wanted to check how I was doing. She agreed that it was hard which made me feel a tiny bit better after that horror, especially considering the fact that she’s been teaching Psychology for so long + she’s a VCAA assessor. Psychology is not easy. I didn’t even write enough for the last question. I was so pushed for time!! An issue I never had in my timed practice exams. This was the only exam I was genuinely ‘heart beating like a jackhammer’ nervous for and I still didn’t do as I wanted to (although let’s be honest, that didn’t happen for any of my exams).

Chemistry: 38
My sac scores are gross. My cohort’s extremely competitive but I really don’t know if sac scaling’s enough tbh. The exam was alright. It was a bit rushed in the end and I was writing as if my life depended on it, because let’s be honest, it does. Almost everyone I know hates Chemistry but I actually really enjoyed it and I loved the subject!

Well, I’m officially DONE with school. School was (wow, I can actually say that now) literally what defined me as a person. I didn’t have anything else and it was probably the most important thing to me. Now that it’s done, I feel empty. Like, a hollow shell. It’s as if I’m stepping into someone else’s life. Like, I’m actually going to be a uni student next year?!? UMMM, what? Anyways, I have a big list of all that I want to do:

Fun things

BINGE-WATCH ALL THE TV SHOWS I COULDN’T DURING EXAM REVISION. This is probably going to take up the bulk of my time. I’m literally addicted to tv and I don’t think that’s going away
- Skincare stuff
- Go on lots of walks. Maybe jog?
- GET FIT AGAIN. (I was actually in a really good shape pre-year 12 and I was really strong! But now, I’m a literal blob. Let’s change that)
- Look for a job
- DRIVING. (I haven’t even taken that computerised driving test thingy. I know, I’m terrible)
- Cook my fav dishes
- Try painting maybe?
- Learn new stuff

Also, I’m 99% sure I’m not getting into Med at Monash. I’m not being pessimistic, I’m being realistic. No, I’m not giving up! I’m still going to do interview preparation but I’m probably going to do Biomed at Melb/Monash or something and go from there. Hopefully at that time, I won't make the same mistakes and start early! Previously, I would have thought this was the end of the world, not getting into med. But honestly, it doesn't really spark any feelings of sadness, catalysing waterfalls of tears and disappointment. I feel normal. I’m still going to try my best to get in though! After all, there’s no harm in giving it your best shot!!

All the best to the Year 12s who haven’t finished their exams yet! Go and smash them! To the year 11s venturing into Year 12 next year: I wish you the best of luck.

[homeworkisapotato]

Congratulations Evolio I'm so proud of youuuuuu <3 You're so inspiring and hardworking, I'm so happy for you for finishing the huge journey. Your list of things to do sounds great and I hope you have the relaxing holiday you deserve.So proud of you for having a positive mindset, it's going to take you places! Are you planning on having a uni journey journal?

[tiredandstressed]

Feel free to PM me any questions you may have about Biomed @ UoM I just finished my second year

[whys]

Congrats for finishing!!

After my english and bio exams I felt exactly as you did. I kind of didn’t care after those 2 and I was sort of just like ehh whatever, I can’t be stuffed. Most of my friends felt like that too, and I think it’s pretty normal (maybe an early sign of burnout or something???). Anyways, I’m so proud of you for successfully getting through!!! It’s time to relax. I relate so hard to the rest of your journal entry like not meeting expectations and feeling stressed for ATAR release, but all we can do is wait. And while we wait, we might as well have lots of fun and for at least a month, forget about all things VCE.

P.S. can definitely relate to being a complete blob!

Have a great break!