English Advanced Feedback Request

[annabeljxde]

Urgent help needed!

I have to prepare an essay to the following question and I'm not entirely sure how to interpret this. Here is a draft introduction I made and I was hoping whether I could get some feedback regarding the direction my essay will take.

Thank you!!!

“The value of reading Plath and Hughes together is to see a unique example of two important poets influencing each other.” – Margaret Dickie UroffTo what extent is this true of your study of Plath and Hughes?

Thesis + layout of argument
Readers can certainly derive the value of reading two texts concurrently by exploring how a deepened understanding of ideas are aided by the engagement and exchange between two composers. However, by acknowledging the inconsistencies between two texts, we may also garner an appreciation of colliding aspects and how it gives insight into a composer’s own individual perspective.

Introduction of texts
Accordingly, this can be seen in the conversation between Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes in their respective collections, ‘Ariel’ and ‘Birthday Letters’, where both composers combine the influence of each other and their own creative choices to communicate their personal perspectives towards issues and events that have characterised their shared biographies.

Concluding statement
While it is evident that each poet has contributed to the other’s literary work, it should also be noted that one’s poetry will inevitably reflect the composer’s own intentions and it is through the acknowledgement of both can readers derive the value of each text.

[angewina_naguen]

Hey, annabeljxde!

I have some feedback for the essay introduction below which you can choose to take on board if you find it useful 

Thesis + layout of argument
Readers can certainly derive the value of reading two texts concurrently by exploring how a deepened understanding of ideas are aided by the engagement and exchange between two composers. (This is a great thesis! I would only suggest to perhaps shorten it. You won't need to mention reader impact until later in the introduction so you could start the sentence at "The value of reading two texts concurrently is aided by the engagement and unique exchange between two composers.) However, by acknowledging the inconsistencies between two texts, we may also garner an appreciation of colliding aspects and how it gives insight into a composer’s own individual perspective. (You extend from the thesis well, adding your own perspective on how these dissonances offer variety and a more intriguing conversation to emerge between Plath and Hughes).

Introduction of texts
Accordingly, this can be seen in the textual conversation between Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes in their respective collections, ‘Ariel’ and ‘Birthday Letters’ (Include the years of which these collections were published and possibly introduce what themes/concepts are mutual in their texts.), where both composers combine the influence of each other and their own creative choices to communicate their personal perspectives towards issues and events that have characterised their shared biographies. (This sentence could be broken up into two to make it less lengthy. I would break it up after you introduce the texts and start a new sentence with "Both composers combine...")

Concluding statement
While it is evident that each poet has contributed to the other’s literary work, it should also be noted that one’s poetry will inevitably reflect the composer’s own intentions and it is through the acknowledgement of both can readers derive the value of each text. (Fantastic way to end it by reiterating your judgement on this question. My only other suggestion is to perhaps explicitly stating earlier somewhere in this sentence the extent to which you agree, such as "While it is evident that each poet has contributed to the other's literary work to a moderate extent..." This is just to clarify it even further for your marker  )

From what I can see, you have interpreted the question perfectly fine! I hope the feedback helps and let me know if you have any other questions 

Angelina