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March 29, 2024, 07:06:52 pm

Author Topic: The PIP Thread  (Read 55128 times)  Share 

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beatroot

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Re: The PIP Thread
« Reply #15 on: January 27, 2018, 11:00:57 pm »
+4
Hey, Bea!

Here's the link to the proposal I wrote for my assessment task. Could you please provide some pointers as to how I could develop this into the introduction as my teacher suggested?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1191SDqp7fHlbhhCRJVlcn8_aFFvmFSXFkoP-A_wEs4w/edit?usp=sharing



Essentially the structure of the introduction should come down to:

the ideal structure for the introduction

Paragraph 1: Introducing your PIP
- What your topic is
- Why chose do the topic
- Hypothesis/main argument
- Outlines of each chapters

Paragraph 2: Research Methods
- Primary research methods you chose to use
- A statement that you will be backing up your primary research methods with secondary research (also state what secondary resources you will be using)

Paragraph 3: Ethical Research
- Statement that you will adhere by the principle of ethical (ie; participants allowed for answers to be included in the PIP as long as their identity remained hidden

Paragraph 4: Cross cultural component
- What your cross cultural component is
- How this cross cultural comparison will help you gain an extensive understanding of your topic

Paragraph 5: Relationship with the SAC course
- What concepts you plan on referencing

Paragraph 6: Continuity and Change
- Statement of the 'continuity' part of your topic
- Statement of the 'change' part of your topic
- (Optional) Hypothesis what will happen in the nearby future (back up with a social theory!)

Paragraph 7: Your journey
- Statement on how you've gained social and cultural literacy through this PIP
- How you will grow as a researcher

HOWEVER, word limit for the introduction is only 500 words. So if you end up going over the word limit, you can always split your introduction into this:

shorter structure for the introduction
Paragraph 1: The 'intro' to the 'intro'
- Statement of topic
- Why you chose the topic
- Outline what each chapter will involve
- Your aim and hypothesis
- Statement of cross cultural comparison
- Statement of concepts

Paragraph 2: Research methods
- Statement of primary research methods
- What you did in your primary research (do this part AFTER you've actually done the primary research)
- Statement of secondary research methods
- Statement that you will adhere by the principles of ethical research

Paragraph 3: Your journey
- Statement on how you've gained social and cultural literacy through this PIP
- How you will grow as a researcher
- How you've grown as a person

Down below I have bolded parts of your proposal which I think should go into your introduction in your PIP :)

proposal/introduction

This investigation explores interracial dating and my scope focuses on to what extent diverse communities, societies that consist of and are exposed to different cultures, accept interracial relationships. I intended to avoid having a preconceived idea of my outcomes that investigating into a single-race community could potentially pose and view interracial relationships in contemporary settings (can be apart of the ethical research paragraph BUT reword into third person ie; this research will prevent from having preconceived notions to avoid creating an agenda etc.). The approach I have generated will sustain and refine my investigation around individuals within a multicultural demographic.

My investigation will contribute to my engagement with HSC Society and Culture. This topic will study interactions across the Fundamental concepts; how persons in society perceive interracial relationships from cultural, historical and environmental contexts. (specify which fundamental concepts you will use)From this investigation, I will hold astute consideration to the impact of multiculturalism on Australian society and consider the additional concept of identity, studied from personal, social and cultural paradigms . Therefore, I will enhance my understanding of the course content through the application of social and cultural research methods to explore racial acceptance in an individual’s sense of self.

I will utilise a variety of research methodologies for effective findings. My primary research includes a publicly distributed questionnaire, interviews and a focus group facilitated with selected individuals. The questionnaire results will convert to qualitative data, displaying a general outline of the participants involved in my PIP research and their responses. In order to balance this with qualitative research, my interviews and focus group will allow me to obtain flexible, in-depth insight from participants in regards to enculturation and ethnocentrism. The focus group will contribute towards my case study into Yellow Fever between Australia and the United States of America. My case study will integrate the perspectives of Australian-Asian participants with public American media representations to show how this social phenomenon crafts perceptions of interracial dating by comparing two multicultural countries. My secondary research will incorporate the works of other researchers such as feature articles, documentaries and social research papers. These will validate my deductions from the primary research conducted, maximising reliability and credibility as supporting evidence. (Absolutely perfect! When you actually do your primary research, just add in what you did specifically and who you specifically interviewed, had in your focus group etc. rather than having the generic ‘participant’)

The cross cultural aspect is evident from my extended investigation across racial and cultural backgrounds to see how they influence relationships. In the PIP, I will closely examine how intercultural interaction and communication shape interpersonal growth. I wish to achieve a greater understanding of whether or not interracial couples still face cultural barriers and challenges and if so, how they are overcome. Hence, I will learn of the intensities of racial prejudices and stereotypes, which may be adopted from participants who have experiences with interracial dating, to see how personal factors are affected by societal expectations. 

Finally, my investigation will address continuity and change in society by assessing previous and existing attitudes towards interracial relationships. By doing this, I will be able to identify and account for key patterns that have persisted against the dynamics over time from micro, meso and macro parameters. Consequently, my synthesis of findings will help me speculate how interracial relationships may change over time in Australian society and suggest strategies to promote multiculturalism.

*** I love every part of your proposal! I believe that all parts should be in your introduction however the parts bolded should be the main priority. The more you work on your PIP, the more you will have to talk about in your introduction.


Hope this helps :)

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angewina_naguen

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Re: The PIP Thread
« Reply #16 on: January 28, 2018, 01:02:12 pm »
0
Hey, im not sure if you know this, but i clicked on this link and it came up with a google doc regarding "The Poem's Heartbeat by Alfred Corn "
Something for extension 2 english?

Thanks for letting me know! I will attach a doc instead just to make sure I get it right this time!
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rasha25

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Re: The PIP Thread
« Reply #17 on: January 28, 2018, 01:35:04 pm »
0
Hey everyone, can someone please check my introduction for the PIP, its attached bellow. All help is much appreciated, thank you.  :)


~ 2018 ~
Advanced English | Legal Studies | Modern History | Society & Culture | Studies of Religion | Extension History | Business Studies

Mada438

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Re: The PIP Thread
« Reply #18 on: January 28, 2018, 03:44:07 pm »
+5
Hey everyone, can someone please check my introduction for the PIP, its attached bellow. All help is much appreciated, thank you.  :)
Okay, so the first thing im going to say is that as there is a 500 word max limit to the intro, you'll need to cut down on some words here and there.

In the first paragraph, you have listed the last sentence in quotation marks, so obviously you have quoted it from somewhere, meaning you need to include the standard sort of reference you do when quoting a phrase. You could add a footnote/endnote at the end to include this.

I like the fact that you clearly listed what your hypothesis was in the second paragraph, although i found it hard to find where it began and ended. My interpretation is that the hypothesis mentioned in the paragraph was "my hypothesis suggests that Lebanese immigrants and born Australians may be exposed to misinterpretations that have influenced the aforementioned controversial opinions" and the rest was just building and adding to this idea. Is this the case? In any case the fact that someone (me in this instance, but it could be other people too) has failed to 100% discern what your hypothesis is means that it may be misinterpreted. What if a PIP marker misinterprets your hypothesis, and marks the rest of your PIP with this misinterpreted idea in their head, which could potentially lose you marks

I'm keen to hear how the interview with the immigration minister goes. However, some people who work in the immigration department such as his advisers may be better points of contact as they are experts advising the minister. The minister is mostly a political figurehead

Are you doing a personal reflection? If so, it isn't very stated.
Also, it seems to me that you have not stated your cross cultural comparison (or have you, and i just can't spot it?). You should include a clear statement of your cross cultural comparison somewhere in your intro, it doesn't have to be very long though.

I also like how you have a level of complexity in this intro, it meets the right standard for what is expected in social research and the pip. However, i believe it lacks some clarity. There is a difference between complexity and clarity and having both is key to a good response. It seems very complex, but the way it goes about this makes it less clear. Try making it clearer without increasing the complexity too much more!

In terms of how might refine your structure, beatroot wrote a small structure for how a introduction should go for another student. It goes as follows:
Paragraph 1: The 'intro' to the 'intro'
- Statement of topic
- Why you chose the topic
- Outline what each chapter will involve
- Your aim and hypothesis
- Statement of cross cultural comparison
- Statement of concepts

Paragraph 2: Research methods
- Statement of primary research methods
- What you did in your primary research (do this part AFTER you've actually done the primary research)
- Statement of secondary research methods
- Statement that you will adhere by the principles of ethical research

Paragraph 3: Your journey
- Statement on how you've gained social and cultural literacy through this PIP
- How you will grow as a researcher
- How you've grown as a person


All in all, this is a good start. As you work on your pip more and more, this introduction will obviously change. It's important not to spend too much time refining it now, you should focus on your central material now and come back to this later. You'd be surprised how much it may change for you!
If you need any more help, let me know!
I hope this does help though  :)

Hey, Bea!

Here's the link to the proposal I wrote for my assessment task. Could you please provide some pointers as to how I could develop this into the introduction as my teacher suggested?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1191SDqp7fHlbhhCRJVlcn8_aFFvmFSXFkoP-A_wEs4w/edit?usp=sharing
Thanks for letting me know! I will attach a doc instead just to make sure I get it right this time!
Hey, so this doc now does work, i can access your proposal!
Just by reading your proposal, it sounds very good, and very well thought out.
If i was your teacher, and i read that as your pip proposal, i would definitely say go for it!
I wholeheartedly agree with the parts beatroot has layed forward as parts to use for your introduction.
Definietly keep in mind the two introduction structures she has shown, they will help alot!
Also, the parts she has highlighted in bold will not make the 500 word limit, as something to add, think about building a layer of complexity. You have all the nessacary parts, now deepen your written expression. "make it sound better" (for lack of a better word).

Good luck!  :)

"Live life like a pineapple. Stand tall, wear a crown and be sweet on the inside"

"May you grow up to be righteous; may you grow up to be true. May you always know the truth and see the lights surrounding you. May you always be courageous, stand upright and be strong"

"Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire"

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owidjaja

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Re: The PIP Thread
« Reply #19 on: January 28, 2018, 03:53:25 pm »
0
Hey there!
In regards to the PIP, where exactly should we be up to? My teacher didn't really give a clear timeline but what should we be completing each week/term?

Thanks in advance :)
2018 HSC: English Advanced | Mathematics | Physics | Modern History | History Extension | Society and Culture | Studies of Religion I

ATAR: 93.60

2019: Aerospace Engineering (Hons)  @ UNSW

beatroot

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Re: The PIP Thread
« Reply #20 on: January 28, 2018, 04:06:39 pm »
+3
Hey everyone, can someone please check my introduction for the PIP, its attached bellow. All help is much appreciated, thank you.  :)




Hey there rasha25! I've included my comments in the spoiler down below~

Spoiler
“Patriotism isn’t the last refuge of the racist scandal, national pride doesn’t have to involve hostility towards cultural difference.” In today’s society, we are often blindsided by our own nationalist views that consume our behaviour and conversations towards different cultures and faiths. Growing up in an Islamic household, my low context culture juxtaposed my high context environment of Australia, as I read about previous events in history between Australia and of my own culture and religion, this acted as a catalyst for me to discovering my social and cultural identity (reason why you chose the topic). Living in the West as a Lebanese immigrant, I desired to discover the influence of Westernisation, primarily Western living, exploring its significant impact on an immigrant’s religious expression and how the concept of acculturation contributes to their social and cultural identity (topic). Presenting two-sided perspectives, some Australians may agree to argue that due to “intense increase of immigration, it is not Australia sucking the cultural out of immigrants but rather much the opposite with immigrants imposing their cultural and religious beliefs”. However, this case is presented differently in the lense of immigrants that have been forced or by choice came into Australia, “with some losing their religious beliefs, having to adapt to the Catholic Australian nation, resulting in the loss of cultural belonging”. (This sentence can just be presented in one of your chapters. The introduction shouldn’t involve too much of elaboration because elaboration needs to be explored within the central material)

Despite the juxtaposing disagreements between both cultures, I decided to investigate both responses to broaden my understanding about my faith and culture. Subsequently, my hypothesis suggests that Lebanese immigrants and born Australians may be exposed to misinterpretations that have influenced the aforementioned controversial opinions, however, as both cultures are seemingly expressing lack, could it be possible for both cultures to have been influenced by one’s acculturation, mistaking it for cultural loss, domination or superiority? Notably, I am aware that the more I journey into my investigation, I am yet to discover, influencing change to my proposed hypothesis. (This entire paragraph should be a part of your log/central material not your introduction. It is a good paragraph don’t get me wrong but this part is a waste if it’s just put in the introduction. It deserves a spot in the log/central material section(s) of your PIP.)

In investigating my hypothesis, I aim to accumulate a combination of qualitative and quantitative primary methodologies, those of which are questionnaires, focus groups and interviews. (primary research methods) In addition, secondary research methodologies that will accompany this include academic documentaries, Journal Articles and factual books (secondary research methods) Furthermore, in conducting a questionnaire my investigation benefits as my response gains multiple interpretations from different generations, genders and age-groups, the data collection useful to forming the graphs to my response and the ability of comparative, developmental and theoretical questions in shaping understanding (You choose to keep this part in your introduction but you can also add it in your log because it states the reason why you chose to do a questionnaire not what you actually did in the questionnaire. Essentially when introducing your primary research methods in your introduction, it just has to be a quick statement. Ie; From my questionnaire, I have received 85 responses, where respondents freely expressed their opinion on the matter. It just has to be plain and simple. In your log, that’s when you can elaborate about your primary research methods.) In addition to providing open interactions between a range of faiths and cultures, focus groups are reliable sources as participants are given the opportunity to be exposed in their natural realm whereby their behaviour in intense discussions will come to reveal their identity (Check out my previous comment) I aim to ask questions and topics relevant to mine and spark debates such as: whether immigrants perceive Australia Day as a catalyst for Australians to celebrate colonialism, further reinforcing how Australia has created cultural restricts on Lebanese immigrants or if Australians assimilate Australia Day as a celebration for Australian born’s only. Notably, micro level interactions as can be seen through interviews, are central to obtaining first-hand perspectives, allowing instant and open-ended responses from the wide variety. I aim to interview Australian authorities such as the Immigration minister and contrast with Islamic organisations, purposed to demonstrate how Lebanese immigrants are perceived to have either imposed or have had their culture and faith restricted hereby influencing their social and cultural identity.


My main concerns are for your introduction is that you haven't acknowledged other parts of your PIP like your statement to abide by the principles of ethical research, your cross cultural component, what each chapter will involve, what fundamental and/or additional concepts you plan on using, the continuity and change aspect of your PIP and your journey (though this bit should be done once you've actually completed your central material).

A lot of parts of your introduction is just further elaborating on your hypothesis and your topic. It's greatly written but you should only just stick to 1-2 sentences when talking about your topic and hypothesis. Introduction is meant to be 500 words max and it's required to have all of these aspects in:

Essentially the structure of the introduction should come down to:

the ideal structure for the introduction

Paragraph 1: Introducing your PIP
- What your topic is
- Why chose do the topic
- Hypothesis/main argument
- Outlines of each chapters

Paragraph 2: Research Methods
- Primary research methods you chose to use
- A statement that you will be backing up your primary research methods with secondary research (also state what secondary resources you will be using)

Paragraph 3: Ethical Research
- Statement that you will adhere by the principle of ethical (ie; participants allowed for answers to be included in the PIP as long as their identity remained hidden

Paragraph 4: Cross cultural component
- What your cross cultural component is
- How this cross cultural comparison will help you gain an extensive understanding of your topic

Paragraph 5: Relationship with the SAC course
- What concepts you plan on referencing

Paragraph 6: Continuity and Change
- Statement of the 'continuity' part of your topic
- Statement of the 'change' part of your topic
- (Optional) Hypothesis what will happen in the nearby future (back up with a social theory!)

Paragraph 7: Your journey
- Statement on how you've gained social and cultural literacy through this PIP
- How you will grow as a researcher

HOWEVER, word limit for the introduction is only 500 words. So if you end up going over the word limit, you can always split your introduction into this:

shorter structure for the introduction
Paragraph 1: The 'intro' to the 'intro'
- Statement of topic
- Why you chose the topic
- Outline what each chapter will involve
- Your aim and hypothesis
- Statement of cross cultural comparison
- Statement of concepts

Paragraph 2: Research methods
- Statement of primary research methods
- What you did in your primary research (do this part AFTER you've actually done the primary research)
- Statement of secondary research methods
- Statement that you will adhere by the principles of ethical research

Paragraph 3: Your journey
- Statement on how you've gained social and cultural literacy through this PIP
- How you will grow as a researcher
- How you've grown as a person


At this point, you just need to acknowledge other parts of your PIP in your introduction. Every 1-2 sentences you need to be talking about different things. It has to be quick and snappy. 1 sentence can be what your topic is about. Then have 2 sentences telling the marker why you chose do the topic in the first place. Then the next sentence is your hypothesis (no elaboration!). Then the next three sentences will specify what each chapter will talk about. Etc. There needs to be a good flow in your introduction to keep the marker interested. I believe other parts of your introduction definitely needs to be included in your central material. That's where you start elaborating your hypothesis and backing it up with your resources.

Hope this helps! :)

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Mada438

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Re: The PIP Thread
« Reply #21 on: January 28, 2018, 04:23:31 pm »
0
Hey there!
In regards to the PIP, where exactly should we be up to? My teacher didn't really give a clear timeline but what should we be completing each week/term?

Thanks in advance :)
They don't really tend to, my teacher didn't give me a timeline either.
Don't worry, i'm pretty behind myself!
Just try to be updating your log constantly, working on prepping your methodologies and what they will be about and continue doing primary and secondary research.
Don't try to adhere too much to a timeline right now. For now, just do as much as you think you should be doing. Then in a few weeks time come back and assess how much you've done
"Live life like a pineapple. Stand tall, wear a crown and be sweet on the inside"

"May you grow up to be righteous; may you grow up to be true. May you always know the truth and see the lights surrounding you. May you always be courageous, stand upright and be strong"

"Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire"

Advice for starting year 12
An open letter to my School Friends
Would 10 year old you be proud of who you are?

2020: Bachelor of Arts @ANU

beatroot

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Re: The PIP Thread
« Reply #22 on: January 28, 2018, 04:41:59 pm »
+3
Hey there!
In regards to the PIP, where exactly should we be up to? My teacher didn't really give a clear timeline but what should we be completing each week/term?

Thanks in advance :)

Hey!

I just recently posted a guide called Personal Interest Project: Where you should be ;D Hope this helps!
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If you need any assistance, please message an admin or a natmod instead.

angewina_naguen

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Re: The PIP Thread
« Reply #23 on: January 29, 2018, 02:15:26 pm »
+1
Essentially the structure of the introduction should come down to:

the ideal structure for the introduction

Paragraph 1: Introducing your PIP
- What your topic is
- Why chose do the topic
- Hypothesis/main argument
- Outlines of each chapters

Paragraph 2: Research Methods
- Primary research methods you chose to use
- A statement that you will be backing up your primary research methods with secondary research (also state what secondary resources you will be using)

Paragraph 3: Ethical Research
- Statement that you will adhere by the principle of ethical (ie; participants allowed for answers to be included in the PIP as long as their identity remained hidden

Paragraph 4: Cross cultural component
- What your cross cultural component is
- How this cross cultural comparison will help you gain an extensive understanding of your topic

Paragraph 5: Relationship with the SAC course
- What concepts you plan on referencing

Paragraph 6: Continuity and Change
- Statement of the 'continuity' part of your topic
- Statement of the 'change' part of your topic
- (Optional) Hypothesis what will happen in the nearby future (back up with a social theory!)

Paragraph 7: Your journey
- Statement on how you've gained social and cultural literacy through this PIP
- How you will grow as a researcher

HOWEVER, word limit for the introduction is only 500 words. So if you end up going over the word limit, you can always split your introduction into this:

shorter structure for the introduction
Paragraph 1: The 'intro' to the 'intro'
- Statement of topic
- Why you chose the topic
- Outline what each chapter will involve
- Your aim and hypothesis
- Statement of cross cultural comparison
- Statement of concepts

Paragraph 2: Research methods
- Statement of primary research methods
- What you did in your primary research (do this part AFTER you've actually done the primary research)
- Statement of secondary research methods
- Statement that you will adhere by the principles of ethical research

Paragraph 3: Your journey
- Statement on how you've gained social and cultural literacy through this PIP
- How you will grow as a researcher
- How you've grown as a person

Down below I have bolded parts of your proposal which I think should go into your introduction in your PIP :)

proposal/introduction

This investigation explores interracial dating and my scope focuses on to what extent diverse communities, societies that consist of and are exposed to different cultures, accept interracial relationships. I intended to avoid having a preconceived idea of my outcomes that investigating into a single-race community could potentially pose and view interracial relationships in contemporary settings (can be apart of the ethical research paragraph BUT reword into third person ie; this research will prevent from having preconceived notions to avoid creating an agenda etc.). The approach I have generated will sustain and refine my investigation around individuals within a multicultural demographic.

My investigation will contribute to my engagement with HSC Society and Culture. This topic will study interactions across the Fundamental concepts; how persons in society perceive interracial relationships from cultural, historical and environmental contexts. (specify which fundamental concepts you will use)From this investigation, I will hold astute consideration to the impact of multiculturalism on Australian society and consider the additional concept of identity, studied from personal, social and cultural paradigms . Therefore, I will enhance my understanding of the course content through the application of social and cultural research methods to explore racial acceptance in an individual’s sense of self.

I will utilise a variety of research methodologies for effective findings. My primary research includes a publicly distributed questionnaire, interviews and a focus group facilitated with selected individuals. The questionnaire results will convert to qualitative data, displaying a general outline of the participants involved in my PIP research and their responses. In order to balance this with qualitative research, my interviews and focus group will allow me to obtain flexible, in-depth insight from participants in regards to enculturation and ethnocentrism. The focus group will contribute towards my case study into Yellow Fever between Australia and the United States of America. My case study will integrate the perspectives of Australian-Asian participants with public American media representations to show how this social phenomenon crafts perceptions of interracial dating by comparing two multicultural countries. My secondary research will incorporate the works of other researchers such as feature articles, documentaries and social research papers. These will validate my deductions from the primary research conducted, maximising reliability and credibility as supporting evidence. (Absolutely perfect! When you actually do your primary research, just add in what you did specifically and who you specifically interviewed, had in your focus group etc. rather than having the generic ‘participant’)

The cross cultural aspect is evident from my extended investigation across racial and cultural backgrounds to see how they influence relationships. In the PIP, I will closely examine how intercultural interaction and communication shape interpersonal growth. I wish to achieve a greater understanding of whether or not interracial couples still face cultural barriers and challenges and if so, how they are overcome. Hence, I will learn of the intensities of racial prejudices and stereotypes, which may be adopted from participants who have experiences with interracial dating, to see how personal factors are affected by societal expectations. 

Finally, my investigation will address continuity and change in society by assessing previous and existing attitudes towards interracial relationships. By doing this, I will be able to identify and account for key patterns that have persisted against the dynamics over time from micro, meso and macro parameters. Consequently, my synthesis of findings will help me speculate how interracial relationships may change over time in Australian society and suggest strategies to promote multiculturalism.

*** I love every part of your proposal! I believe that all parts should be in your introduction however the parts bolded should be the main priority. The more you work on your PIP, the more you will have to talk about in your introduction.


Hope this helps :)

Thank you so much for the pointers! This has helped me so much :D I'll get started on writing it up right away!

Angelina  :)

Okay, so the first thing im going to say is that as there is a 500 word max limit to the intro, you'll need to cut down on some words here and there.

In the first paragraph, you have listed the last sentence in quotation marks, so obviously you have quoted it from somewhere, meaning you need to include the standard sort of reference you do when quoting a phrase. You could add a footnote/endnote at the end to include this.

I like the fact that you clearly listed what your hypothesis was in the second paragraph, although i found it hard to find where it began and ended. My interpretation is that the hypothesis mentioned in the paragraph was "my hypothesis suggests that Lebanese immigrants and born Australians may be exposed to misinterpretations that have influenced the aforementioned controversial opinions" and the rest was just building and adding to this idea. Is this the case? In any case the fact that someone (me in this instance, but it could be other people too) has failed to 100% discern what your hypothesis is means that it may be misinterpreted. What if a PIP marker misinterprets your hypothesis, and marks the rest of your PIP with this misinterpreted idea in their head, which could potentially lose you marks

I'm keen to hear how the interview with the immigration minister goes. However, some people who work in the immigration department such as his advisers may be better points of contact as they are experts advising the minister. The minister is mostly a political figurehead

Are you doing a personal reflection? If so, it isn't very stated.
Also, it seems to me that you have not stated your cross cultural comparison (or have you, and i just can't spot it?). You should include a clear statement of your cross cultural comparison somewhere in your intro, it doesn't have to be very long though.

I also like how you have a level of complexity in this intro, it meets the right standard for what is expected in social research and the pip. However, i believe it lacks some clarity. There is a difference between complexity and clarity and having both is key to a good response. It seems very complex, but the way it goes about this makes it less clear. Try making it clearer without increasing the complexity too much more!

In terms of how might refine your structure, beatroot wrote a small structure for how a introduction should go for another student. It goes as follows:
Paragraph 1: The 'intro' to the 'intro'
- Statement of topic
- Why you chose the topic
- Outline what each chapter will involve
- Your aim and hypothesis
- Statement of cross cultural comparison
- Statement of concepts

Paragraph 2: Research methods
- Statement of primary research methods
- What you did in your primary research (do this part AFTER you've actually done the primary research)
- Statement of secondary research methods
- Statement that you will adhere by the principles of ethical research

Paragraph 3: Your journey
- Statement on how you've gained social and cultural literacy through this PIP
- How you will grow as a researcher
- How you've grown as a person


All in all, this is a good start. As you work on your pip more and more, this introduction will obviously change. It's important not to spend too much time refining it now, you should focus on your central material now and come back to this later. You'd be surprised how much it may change for you!
If you need any more help, let me know!
I hope this does help though  :)
Hey, so this doc now does work, i can access your proposal!
Just by reading your proposal, it sounds very good, and very well thought out.
If i was your teacher, and i read that as your pip proposal, i would definitely say go for it!
I wholeheartedly agree with the parts beatroot has layed forward as parts to use for your introduction.
Definietly keep in mind the two introduction structures she has shown, they will help alot!
Also, the parts she has highlighted in bold will not make the 500 word limit, as something to add, think about building a layer of complexity. You have all the nessacary parts, now deepen your written expression. "make it sound better" (for lack of a better word).

Good luck!  :)

I just saw this now :D Thank you for your words of encouragement! I'll start adapting it into the introduction and hopefully will have something to submit back here soon  ;D I'm a master of cutting down words (I have tendency to go over a lot hehe) so it shouldn't be a problem! If anything, I'll ask for more help back here on that specifically! Thanks again to you and Bea  :)

Angelina  :D :D

Mod Edit: Merged posts :)
« Last Edit: January 29, 2018, 09:02:56 pm by beatroot »
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tillerxo

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Re: The PIP Thread
« Reply #24 on: January 29, 2018, 07:22:03 pm »
+1
Hey!
I'm liking the direction you're taking with your survey questions, although i'd add maybe a few more. How about some geared towards your hypothesis? For example, asking about whether "you believe australian immigration has failed to he rights and safety of immigrants." Maybe "to what extent as well"  or perhaps "do you believe Australian society’s treatment of immigrants will deteriorate.?" (as these can be used to validate your hypothesis possibly). These are just two examples though.
What sort of answers are you looking for in question 2?
In question 3, if they weren't born in Australia, then you should include possible other answers, or better still, just let them enter their country of birth (or just region, if you feel that might be easier). 
Question 4 sounds a little wrong, and too direct, but thats just me (if you were to change it, i wouldn;t know how you would) so if you believe if it is fine, then leave it. Thats just my opinion
What do you mean by "stronger stigma" in question 5? I'm only one person, but if people are questioning definitions of some of your questions, it may be best to change them so people understand them easier.
Question 6 may be better suited for a scale, or have more answers, as people may be inclined differently to the options you have provided.

Also remember that with all questions requiring a yes/no or short answer, always give people the chance to elaborate on their answers if they see fit. For example for question 10, it sounds like you're looking for a yes/no answer. Ask people "why" or to "elaborate" to provide some more in depth answers. This should be applied to all questions you create requiring a yes/no or a short answer.
Thats all some advice for your questions!

As for your focus questions, i really like the direction you're taking with them!
Maybe narrowing them down or combining a few might be good as these focus questions look like they could all stretch out the pip longer then it should be. But other than that, i like them!

If you need any more help, please let me know!
Keep up the good work!  ;D

Thank you! this really opened my eyes aha for some reason I thought that when it came to surveys I shouldn't explicitly address my hypotheses but doing so would definitely make it easier. For question 4 I wanted to ask that because I often hear it as a typical excuse from people who can't find jobs and I really disagree with this. thank you so much for your help :)

Just adding onto Mada438's answer above (he's pretty much said everything I wanted to say aha)

Comments for your questionnaire questions:

For the 'how old are you?' and 'racial background' questions just have options to people to pick from. You can have a list of age groups like 11-15, 16-20 etc. It'll just make it easier for you to see trends. Same thing goes for the racial background question. If they happen to have more than one racial background, there should be an 'other' option where they can specify what backgrounds they are of.

Will questions 4 to 7, 9-10 be close or open ended questions? Ensure to keep a balance of close and ended questions so that your survey participants actually complete the questionnaire. Maybe reword question 4? It's a bit abrupt plus it creates an agenda which can affect the answers. You can possibly reword it to 'Are immigrants currently prominent in the Australian working industry' or something to that effect.

But besides from that, I like the questions you've got!

Comments for your focus questions:

How many people do you plan on having in your focus group? It's completely fine to do a lot of focus questions though when you start making your transcript, that's when it's gets tiring. If it were up to me, I would only pick questions 1, 3-7 and 10.
Thanks for the reply!
I was under the impression that a survey could only have close-ended option which sucks because I really wanted to have more detailed and personal answers so I'll definitely turn some of the question into open-ended ones. Oh and sorry for my focus questions I didn't clarify that I'm still trying to pick out which ones cause I thought that focus questions should be like the headings for your pip? .. sorry I'm really lost  :'(
Oh and for my focus group I planned on having 2-3 people for it.
I don't really know what should be in my PIP like what makes up a whole pip..  :'(

Mod Edit: Merged posts :)
« Last Edit: January 29, 2018, 09:04:30 pm by beatroot »

beatroot

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Re: The PIP Thread
« Reply #25 on: January 29, 2018, 09:22:09 pm »
+1
Thanks for the reply!
I was under the impression that a survey could only have close-ended option which sucks because I really wanted to have more detailed and personal answers so I'll definitely turn some of the question into open-ended ones. Oh and sorry for my focus questions I didn't clarify that I'm still trying to pick out which ones cause I thought that focus questions should be like the headings for your pip? .. sorry I'm really lost  :'(
Oh and for my focus group I planned on having 2-3 people for it.
I don't really know what should be in my PIP like what makes up a whole pip..  :'(

Focus questions/answers can be headings for your PIP but are not just limited to being headings. Use them as evidence to prove/disprove your points :)

Having 2-3 people for your focus group is completely fine! It is recommended to have 2-8 people in each focus group. However, the less people you have the less transcript/s you have to do. But this also means for less answers. The more you have, the more diverse answers you will have. Check out this guide for further help with your primary research methods ;)

Check out this quick guide on what each part of the PIP involves!

Essentially your PIP should be structured like this:

- Title Page
- Table of contents
- Introduction (500 words)
- Log (500 words)
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4 (optional)
- Conclusion (500 words)
- Resource List
- Appendix

Your chapters should add up to 2500-4000 words! All the chapters don't need to have an equal amount of words. It's fine to have 7 pages for Chapter 1 and 2 pages for your Chapter 3 (which was what I did). How you structure your chapters should be like a mini essay but without the conclusion. Well technically you can have a conclusion at the end of each chapter but this eats up your word count. Your footnotes should be sprinkled throughout your PIP.




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rasha25

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Re: The PIP Thread
« Reply #26 on: January 31, 2018, 05:44:56 pm »
+2
Thanks so much Mada438 and Beatroot, your comments were very useful :)
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Re: The PIP Thread
« Reply #27 on: February 02, 2018, 01:55:35 pm »
0
What style of referencing should we be doing for the PIP? I was told footnotes are expected but is there a certain format (APA, Harvard etc.) that's recommended?  :)
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Mada438

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Re: The PIP Thread
« Reply #28 on: February 02, 2018, 02:12:38 pm »
+2
What style of referencing should we be doing for the PIP? I was told footnotes are expected but is there a certain format (APA, Harvard etc.) that's recommended?  :)
I've never seen anything that says you need to do a SPECIIFIC style (but don't quote me 100% on this). However, I'd probably use Harvard (probably the most recconmend) or maybe even APA
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Re: The PIP Thread
« Reply #29 on: February 02, 2018, 11:36:13 pm »
0
I've never seen anything that says you need to do a SPECIIFIC style (but don't quote me 100% on this). However, I'd probably use Harvard (probably the most recconmend) or maybe even APA

Thanks once again for coming to the rescue! I've been referencing APA for the last two years so I'll go with that unless suggested otherwise  :) :D

Angelina  :)
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