Spoiler
What is a text’s purpose, if not to either provoke individual introspection or guide us to challenge our collective assumptions? While a tad unconventional, rhetorical questions have worked before in English Advanced Essays. I may be nitpicking here, but it would be stronger to put forward a clear and concise first statement rather than a question. The portrayal of human experiences in texts provides one with numerous opportunities to challenge our perception of ourselves and our world. The poems Wild Grapes, Out of Time and William Street by early twentieth-century Australian poet Kenneth Slessor are vessels by which this readily occurs. Smooth transition from thesis to texts! Our preconceived notions of memory and its reliability, the nature of time, and our understanding of the world around us are unrelentingly challenged through the creative employment of several structural, stylistic and grammatical features Again, probably nitpicking but you could shorten this into ‘literary features’ .As these features gradually shape into meaning that is relative to us, we then possess the opportunity to create a transformed and challenged perception. Nice!
Wild Grapes inadvertently rebuilds our understanding of the paradoxical nature of memory, and therefore prompts individual introspection where we challenge the reliability of our own. A topic sentence that packs-a-punch! Memory is essential to human experience; without it, our experiences lack substance. Wild Grapes does not question this. Another pack-a-punch! In fact, the persona’s whole experience as he reminisces in the old orchard is fueled by his recollections and his memories associated with the place, testifying to its importance. The allusion to Irish family names in “kept no more by vanished Mulligans or Hartigans” is an example of a memory the narrator has of the old orchard. The semi-colon in “now there is not an apple or a cherry; only grapes” creates a stark contrast between the past and the present. These instances of memory fuel his the persona’s despair, a human experience created by the impermanence of all physical things. This can only be noticed and mourned if one remembers how they used to be.
Despite this, memory is simultaneously portrayed as being an enhanced version of the reality of the past. The simile “apples bright as dogstars” subtly causes the responder to start to question the reliability of the narrator’s memory of how the orchard once was; it is surely a trick of memory to remember the apples so brightly. By linking the literary technique to audience reception of the human experience, you’re answering the question. This is spot-on! Furthermore, this characteristic of memory is developed in depth through the enticing and transcendent imagery Slessor uses to portray Isabella. He describes her as “gipsy-sweet”, and with the synecdoche of “dark hair swinging and silver pins”, giving her a goddess-like essence that may have been true to some extent. Nonetheless, we know that women this entrancing only exist in fantasy. This encapsulates the enduring tendency to attach emotions to the factual reality and let them transform the entire memory itself. We often remember someone or something as significantly greater or lesser than they were. It is obvious that Isabella was a woman that the narrator once held a deep-set affection for. She has “lingered on definitely” in his mind, a portrayal of a love that must have been all-consuming. Thus, memory is a paradox. It is essential to the human experience, but cannot be relied upon to give an accurate or even complete version of events or people as they once were, as the individual human experience of letting our emotions influence us is inescapable and enduring. Therefore, Wild Grapes urges us to a state of introspection where we challenge the reliability of our memories and how they affect our perception of our world. Overall, this paragraph is incredible! However, I think that link between the idea of memory portrayed in Wild Grapes and the subsequent transformation of the audience perception, can be delivered more clearly. You’ve smashed the question at the beginning and at the linking sentence. But remember, the paragraph as a whole should be working together to address the question. Try to bring it back to the question throughout middle of the paragraph as well, rather than just the topic and linking sentences.
While Wild Grapes challenges our perception of self in relation to memories, Out of Time challenges our perception of our world in relation to time. It is human nature to subconsciously try to negate the effects that time has on us, however the poem implores the responder to consciously realize that these attempts are futile. Another pack-a-punch! This is good! Time’s all encompassing nature is established at the beginning of the poem with the simile “I saw Time flowing like a hundred yachts”. Time’s movement throughout the world is depicted as effortless as a yacht that glides as one with the waves, yet steady, sure, and unrelenting in its motion. It enfolds every aspect of our perception of our world, which is further developed by the ensuing simile “Or piercing, like the quince-bright, bitter slats Of sun gone thrusting under Harbour’s hair.” Time is inescapable and all-surrounding, much like the sun’s rays. It regards everyone in the same way the sun’s rays touch everything on the Earth equally. Therefore time as a collective human experience is established; not one person’s perception of the world is unaffected by Time.
To further cement Time’s (nitpicking here but I think it’s better to say ‘the enduring nature of time’) enduring nature and the pointlessness of our strives to control it, Out of Time continues to entail all that it is capable of, and the fragility of our lives in a strong contrast. The hyperbole “He keeps appointments with a million years” strongly reinforces Time’s enduring and persistent nature. Time spans on for all eternity, whereas our human lifespan is but a meagre second in comparison. We already have this unchangeable facet of nature against us before we even start in our plight to control time. However, Out of Time does present us with an instance where we can momentarily control Time, through the personification of the moment. Ooo nice! It is not given a capital letter or pronouns as Time is, to infer its insignificance in contrast, however the moment is treated as a persona with which the narrator can laugh with and lean against. “Fixed in a sweet meniscus, out of Time, Out of the torrent.” A different perception of the world does become possible through living in the moment. Nevertheless, this reprieve is eventually shattered, as the narrator is “taken by the suck of sea.” This skillful buildup of hope of an escape which is then broken by Time jolts us back to the realization that we are vain in trying to grasp a hold of time. In consequence, our perception of our world and time’s role in it is undoubtedly challenged. You’ve developed a strong discussion in this paragraph, but the linking sentence feels like it could be stronger and expanded upon. Look back into your discussions of time (like the futility of the individual despite the brief reprieves of control) and see if you can summarise and incorporate those ideas into your linking sentence.
Like Out of Time, William Street also prompts us to challenge our collective assumptions of the world around us, particularly those we have formed preconceived evaluations of. Hmm I get what you’re saying here, but I think you should reword for more clarity. This then guides us towards individual introspection of the reliability and totality of these evaluations. Maybe instead of guide, punch in a stronger verb? Like prompt, compel, provoke etc. The repetition of “You find this ugly, I find it lovely” at the end of each stanza unifies the poem into this central concept of questioning our tendency to deem a person or place’s value as being either completely ‘good’ or completely ‘bad’. Our perception of the world around us is determined by these subjective assumptions. William Street is a well-known city in Sydney’s red light district with a reputation for prostitution and harbouring “lower-class” citizens, so we assume it has nothing but these “darker” sides of humanity to offer. However this line offers a new and intriguing perspective. How could anyone see any redeeming qualities in this street and the people who frequent it, let alone find it ‘lovely’? Nevertheless, it is reinforced by the imagery throughout which entails a certain type of mysterious aesthetic. The image created in “red globe of light, the liquor green” appeals to even the most adamant in their preconceived notion of William Street. Hence through this new perspective our perceptions of our world and our tendency to generalise them are purposefully challenged.
The texts and human experiences in the poetry of Kenneth Slessor presents many opportunities for readers to insightfully challenge their perception of their world and their own inner selves. Wild Grapes insightfully provokes individual introspection into the reliability of memory and cleverly brings to our attention our tendency to rely on it. Out of Time and William Street invites us to better understand our perception of our world, and how it is influenced by our own preconceived and often flawed notions. And so these texts fulfill their purpose in aiding our understanding of our perception of our self and our world.
Overall, I think you've delivered an amazing essay! I'm especially intrigued about your ideas on memory and its subjectivity- you should be proud. You've been very analytical and your ideas are well-developed. Your desire to improve really seeps through the words, and overall, you've done really well!! If you've read my 'live feedback' I do have some nitpicking moments, in particular, with sentence structure and word choices, that you can consider. But based on what I've read, you're very articulate, delivering an essay with both succinctness and clarity! If you have any questions about my feedback, don't hesitate to ask away! Well done!!!
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Topic: English Advanced: common module Kenneth Slessor essay (Read 2890 times)