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March 28, 2024, 11:28:48 pm

Author Topic: Can't seem to make "friends"  (Read 9343 times)  Share 

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LochNess Monster

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Re: Can't seem to make "friends"
« Reply #15 on: March 03, 2021, 12:17:40 am »
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Don't know if this post is still being read or alive, but this question is very relatable. I am a sociable person but I couldn't make real friends in 1st year, only acquaintances who I sat next to in class or smiled at when I saw them around.

And realising my unmet expectations of hanging out on weekends with hordes of friends and being Little Miss Popular for once wasn't coming true, I felt so lonely and honestly depressed a lot of 1st year. I didn't understand why too. I was thinking, is it my fault? But I'm trying so hard. And I was! And it wasn't my fault. I was nice, friendly to everyone...But things just didn't click.

I think the loneliness is amplified when you realise your highschool friends all seem to be moving on just fine without you, and they are all doing their lives without catching up regularly, and some friends you thought would be there forever are ghosting you, and some friends you trust your life with seem to only exist in comforting text messages over the phone, and not in real life anymore.

It also sucked when I saw my classmates get along better than I did with them, and when a few of them got together and had drinks without me  ??? :-\ :-\ Made me feel like all my progress was fake.

It was only in 2nd year that I started making one good friend in a club, over zoom meetings, and slowly, other good friends started trickling in without me even noticing it. Now I have friends on campus but I have a small fear that the same thing will happen when I go to work in the adult world, and I'll have to start all over again when everyone moves on. So, I'm trying to enjoy my friendships while I can and while they're here.

ANYWAYS, what I'm trying to get at is, it's okay to be lonely and sad in 1st year. 1st year sucked for me. It was tough. And I can hear you're already trying your best, going to parties and clubs, and really trying to put yourself out there. It's ok to not know what to say. It's ok if you feel like friendships are taking too long to build.
Because you are doing just fine. And none of it is your fault. It's just hard adjusting to a new environment. Change is never easy. So go easy on yourself, enjoy the peaceful days you have by yourself, make do, continue chatting to people in class and out of class.
And I can promise that before you realise the years are flying by, you'll have found someone to call friend, and that someone will truly appreciate and get you and you can laugh at uni life and classes together.
Good things take time.
So spend your time well while you can. Feel free to private message me if you wanna chat more about this topic!
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