Can someone mark my extended response on the VCAA 2018 question please

[amanaazim]

Extended Response on Stress (2018 VCAA Question)

hey guys

basically i just wanted feedback on my extended response scenario i did on stress so would be appreciated if feedback was given: I wrote the scenario + the question + my response . In terms of feedback i'm looking for mostly these things.

- what i did well
- what areas i need to improve in
- sentence structure (if i am writing in the correct format and using the write terms in my response)
- and also since this is out of 10 can you tell me how much would i get out of 10 please thank you.

And also feel free to add anything else that i may have missed

Skip to title my response to find my answer if you know the scenario

Scenario:

Gita is a 22-year-old student in her final year of university. Gita arrived in Australia when she was 12 years old.She is from a non-english-speaking background and is the first female in her family to attend the university. She has generally been able to manage her parents’ expectations,academic demands,part-time work and the usual daily irritations that have come her way.

 When Gita lost her part-time job at the beginning of Semester 1, she experienced initial shock but quickly tackled this problem by drawing on her family and friendship network, which helped her find a new part-time job. However, at the end of semester 1, her first relationship break-up proved more challenging because she found her usual supports were not enough. She used meditation and dancing classes to help her refocus. Gita developed a cold after the break-up but still managed to stay on top of things.

 However, there was one point at the beginning of semester 2 when Gita did struggle. The news that her car needed expensive repairs was a major setback that she had not budgeted for. She felt exhausted and overwhelmed by the situation but decided to keep the problem to herself, feeling that she should be able to manage it on her own.

Towards the end of semester 2, Gita developed insomnia and headaches, and finally visited her family doctor. The doctor explained that these symptoms were stress-related and referred her to a psychologist. The psychologist was able to help Gita view her situation differently and assist her with realising that it was a temporary problem that would be resolved once she finished university and started full-time work. Gita would then be able to apply for a bank loan to fix her car.



With reference to Gita’s situation, write a detailed analysis of her sources of stress, biological responses and psychological responses. In your response, discuss the theories and models of stress and/or coping that are relevant to this scenario.



My Response

Gita has experienced different kinds of sources of stress. In her situation, she has experienced acculturative stress, as she has come from a non-english speaking background to a university in Australia. This led to Gita adjusting to the norms, values and culture of Australia. Also Gita has experienced a life event in this situation as she is the first female in her family to attend university. She has also experienced daily pressures as she overcomes her usual daily irritations that she has to face in her day to day life.

Gita’s experiences relates to the Selye’s General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS Model) which is a biological response model. Gita went through the first stage of GAS which is the alarm-reaction stage and she experiences shock because she lost her part- time job at the beginning of semester 1. However she then switched to countershock, the second part of the alarm reaction stage and managed to find a new part time job, thus dealing with the stressor by seeking family and friends support, an emotion focused strategy that helped Gita deal with the stressor. However, Gita also faced another stressor which was dealing with her first breakup (which led her to again repeat the GAS model). Even though she passed the shock and the countershock situation, she found out that her usual support system was not enough to help deal with the stressor. Thus Gita went on to stage 2 of the GAS model which is the resistance stage. Gita was fighting the stressor by trying to find different approach strategies to help deal with the increase of cortisol in her body that was being used to help deal with the stressor, thus making Gita’s immune system unguarded. That is why she caught a cold, but she was still able to manage being on top of things. However since there were multiple stressors that she had to face, once Gita found out that her car needed expensive repairs, she felt exhausted and overwhelmed as she had dealt with many other stressors and also she did not budget her income out for this. This all led to her moving to the final stage of the GAS model which is the exhaustion stage, as her body became weak and vulnerable to diseases such as insomnia and headaches which is affecting her daily life schedule.

Gita’s experience relates to Lazarus and Folkman’s transactional model of stress and coping, which is a psychological response model. Gita identified what her stressor was (first one- losing her part time job), thus this been a primary appraisal. This made her realise her stressor which then made her look for other resources that would help her to deal with the stressor, which is a secondary appraisal, which for Gita was her support network of family and friends. However when Gita faces her second stressor which is her first breakup. She reappraises the situation and identifies her new stressor (   primary appraisal). Gita then believes that she needs to now find other resources to help deal with this stressor, as her family and friends' support is not enough for helping her deal with the stressor. So Gita finds other resources such as meditation and dancing classes to help her focus on her life, (which is a problem-focused strategy she used as a secondary appraisal), to help deal with her situation. However Gita again reappraises her situation when she deals with another stressor which is when her car needed expensive repairs, even though she chose to keep the problem
to herself and that she can manage it on her own, she avoided the stressor. Since Gita was dealing with all of these stressors , she was feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. She coped with this situation by using a problem-focused strategy , which is seeing her doctor and a psychologist which helped her to see her situation differently and helped her to find solutions for her stressors.

Gita has used a number of different coping strategies in her situation. When Gita was faced with her first stressor, she used an emotion-focused coping strategy to help deal with her stressor which is having family and friend support. When Gita was faced with her second stressor, she took a problem-focused strategy which was meditation and dancing classes to help her focus on her life. When Gita faced her third stressor, she felt that she could not since she has been facing many stressors that she can manage the situation on her own and that led to her not facing the problem as she took an avoidance strategy to deal with the situation . When Gita realised that all of these problems are affecting her health and day to day life, she took a problem-focused approach strategy to help deal with all of this by seeing her doctor and then going to the psychologist to help her see her problems from a different perspective and find solutions to those problems.

[Evolio]

Hello amanaazim.
Here's the feedback. The annotations in red and green colour, are in the quote directly below while the other feedback is after the quote.

Gita has experienced different kinds of sources of stress. Good starting to highlight what you'll be talking about in this paragraph.In her situation, she has experienced acculturative stress, as she has come from a non-english speaking background to a university in Australia. It would be a good idea to define acculturative stress here: refers to the stress that is experienced when trying to adapt to a new culture when living in it for a considerable period of time. You could say specifically that she 'migrated'. This led to Gita adjusting to the norms, values and culture of Australia. You could also talk about the difficulties or factors that may have influenced her to settle well or not settle well in Australia, eg: her inability to speak the language of Australia may have hindered her from the start but something that might have helped her settle in is having the social support of her family and friends. Also Gita has experienced a life event in this situation as she is the first female in her family to attend university. Define life event: An event that involves change and forces you to adapt to new circumstances. She has also experienced daily pressures as she overcomes her usual daily irritations that she has to face in her day to day life. Defining: Hassles or little problems of everyday living that annoy or bother us or may make us upset or angry. You could give an example here. It could be from the stem: academic demands, parent's expectations and little problems of part-time work.

Gita’s experiences relates to the Selye’s General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS Model) which is a three-stage biological response model. Gita went through experienced the first stage of GAS which is the alarm-reaction stage and she experiences shock because she lost her part- time job at the beginning of semester 1 as this was when she first became aware of the stressor of losing her jobHowever she then switched to She then underwent the countershock stage, the second part of the alarm reaction stage Before talking about how she was able to deal with the stressor, it's a good idea to expand more on counter-shock as there are a lot of biological aspects you can talk about. That is, the sympathetic nervous system was activated, the stress hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline were released due to the fight-flight response being activated by the sympathetic.and managed to find a new part time job, thus dealing with the stressor by seeking family and friends support, an emotion focused strategy that helped Gita deal with the stressor.This is good linking with the scenario and you've also highlighted clearly why she wouldn't go onto the resistance stage as she has already dealt with the stressorHowever, Gita also faced another stressor which was dealing with her first breakup (which led her to again repeat the GAS model). Even though she passed the shock and the countershock situation, she found out that her usual support system was not enough to help deal with the stressor. Thus Gita went on to stage 2 of the GAS model which is the resistance stage. Here, her level of resistance to the stressor of her breakup with her boyfriend was above normal level.Gita was fighting the stressor by trying to find different approach strategies to help deal with the increase of cortisol in her body Gita isn't actively/purposely dealing with the cortisol, she's dealing with the stressor high level of cortisol for a prolonged period of time in her bodythat was being used to help deal with the stressor, thus making Gita’s immune system unguarded increased vulnerability to disease, a useful word is 'suppressed' immune system. Make it clear why she caught the cold, The high level of cortisol for a prolonged period of time in her bodyThat is why she caught a cold, but she was still able to manage being on top of things. However since there were multiple stressors that she had to face, once Gita found out that her car needed expensive repairs, she felt exhausted and overwhelmed as she had dealt with many other stressors and also she did not budget her income out for this. This all led to her moving to the final stage of the GAS model which is the exhaustion stage, as her body became weak and vulnerable to diseases such as insomnia and headaches which is affecting her daily life schedule. Her body's resources have depleted and she was experiencing extreme fatigue.

Gita’s experience relates to Lazarus and Folkman’s transactional model of stress and coping, which is a psychological response model. You could elaborate with the definition as the definition addresses basically all the aspects(including appraisals) of the model. The model proposes that stress involves an encounter between Gita and the external environment and that the stress response depends on the individual's relevance of the stressor to her wellbeing and their ability to cope with it (stressor) Gita identified what her stressor was (first one- losing her part time job), thus this been a primary appraisal. You can extend on primary appraisal here. Defining it is evaluating the significance of the stressor of losing the part-time job and whether anything is at stake here. You also should talk about whether it was assigned the label of benign/positive, irrelevant or stressful. She appraised it as stressful and then undertook additional appraisals of challenge as she saw potential for new growth in looking for the new job This made her realise her stressor which then made her look for other coping resources that would help her to deal with the stressor, which is a secondary appraisal, which for Gita was her support network of family and friends. However when Gita faces her second stressor which is her first breakup. She reappraises the situation and identifies her new stressor ( primary appraisal). The text specifically said it was challenging so that must mean she made the initial appraisal of stressful and then made the additional appraisal of challenge which is the potential for gain and personal growth Gita then believes that she needs to now find other resources to help deal with this stressor, as her family and friends' support is not enough for helping her deal with the stressor. So Gita finds other resources such as meditation and dancing classes to help her focus on her life, (which is a problem-focused strategy she used as a in secondary appraisal), to help deal with her situation. You should talk about how since there were inadequate coping options and resources (as her support networks weren't enough), there was an imbalance between the demands of the stressor of the breakup and her estimation of the coping options available to her (support network), this then led to her developing the stress response.However Gita again reappraises I don't think she reappraises it. Reappraisal is more about how the same stressor is evaluated again, so you wouldn't say it for a completely different stressorher situation when she deals with another stressor which is when her car needed expensive repairs, even though she chose to keep the problem to herself and that she can manage it on her own, she avoided the stressor. She didn't ignore it, she just decided to not seek outside help and just keep the problem to herself.Since Gita was dealing with all of these stressors , she was feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. She coped with this situation by using a problem-focused strategy , which is seeing her doctor and a psychologist which helped her to see her situation differently and helped her to find solutions for her stressors.

Gita has used a number of different coping strategies in her situation. When Gita was faced with her first stressor, she used an emotion-focused coping strategy to help deal with her stressor which is having family and friend support. When Gita was faced with her second stressor, she took a problem-focused strategy which was meditation and dancing classes to help her focus on her life. When Gita faced her third stressor, she felt that she could not since she has been facing many stressors that she can manage the situation on her own and that led to her not facing the problem as she took an avoidance strategy to deal with the situation No. She didn't avoid it, the stem doesn't say she avoided it, she just kept the problem to herself as she didn't want anyone to know. . When Gita realised that all of these problems are affecting her health and day to day life, she took a problem-focused approach strategy to help deal with all of this by seeing her doctor and then going to the psychologist to help her see her problems from a different perspective and find solutions to those problems.In this paragraph, you should talk about avoidance and approach coping strategies because that is specifically what's stated on the study design. If your teacher said to discuss, problem-focused and emotion-focused, that's okay but you need to make sure you also address avoidance and approach

What you did well:
- Great linking of the question stem and its scenario to your knowledge. You made sure to address each part of the stem and then expand upon it, and explain your reasoning behind it which is really good!
- You addressed all areas of the question, that is the biological, psychological model and also the coping strategies used and you also really fleshed out your points by adding lots of detail.

What you can improve on:
- You could edit your work after you've written your response. There are some grammatical errors that could easily be fixed up by a quick check-over at the end to make sure everything is correct.
- With the GAS model: it's a good idea to think about these three things with respect to each stage of the model. Our teachers said to always talk about these three things. 1. Key aspects of stage. 2. Level of resistance to the stressor, compared to normal. 3. Stress hormones that are released. For eg: Counter-shock. 1. Sympathetic nervous system is activated, which then subsequently activates the fight-flight response. 3. As a result, the stress hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline are released which activates organs, such as the heart, making it beat faster. 2. Level of resistance is increased and higher than the normal level. For the resistance level, it's a good idea to understand the graph of the GAS model, showing the level of resistance over a period of time.
- If your teacher says to talk about emotion-focused and problem-focused, that's okay but it would also be a good idea to talk about avoidance and approach coping strategies (especially in the exam) as I believe they are specifically mentioned on the study design.
- Define key terms.