I’m gonna start one these cause I wanna look back and see whether I was too ambitious or being realistic. I also wanna see how different I am after going through the scariness which is year 12. I also wanna share this with someone! (Sorry I know I talk way too much let me get to it)
Methods 3/4 (eh, I scraped passes this yr)
In a nutshell I moved interstate so was unable to do a 3/4 this year as my school was terrible at explaining how vce worked. I stressed about this for so long as I’d like to get into dentistry (undergrad). Of course that requires a 99+ but I’d be okay going interstate or doing biomed first.
Next year I’m doing:
English 3/4 (I love reading/writing but was unable to break 90% in my SACs in 1/2)
Psych 3/4 (haven’t done 1/2 so a little scared but not too afraid as have heard it’s “easy”- I understand nothing is really easy though if you are looking to do well.
Bio 3/4 (I kinda hate this subject only taking it as a pre req BUT I’ve gone over some material and come to the conclusion I only hated year 8 bio cause it was so basic, am excited to see how I’ll do in bio after a year off!) SUPER scared as I know bio is content heavy and even those who have done 1/2 struggle immensely
Chemistry 3/4 gives English a run for its money as my favourite subject! I’m a little scared I’ll stop liking it as rumour has it 3/4 is 65,000x harder than 1/2.....other than that excited!
Looking forward to sharing my final year of school with you guys! Even if nobody reads this I feel like it’ll be enjoyable :) I’ll update you guys just before school starts! Good luck to any other Class of 2020ers!
P.S congrats to year 11/12s on ur amazing 3/4 results!!!
[/list]
Hi! So lovely to see another 2020 student - like you, I love Chem too!Scared but also kind of excited (I know weird). I really enjoy all the subjects I’m doing next year which will be a change from this year. How are you feeling about it?
How are you feeling about next year?
Good luck!!
So good to see another VCE Journal! Even better, it is someone in the 2020 gang ;DMost: English or Chem
Let's get that 99+ ATAR going and I am looking forward to seeing more of your journal soon! What do you think is your favourite and your least favourite subjects?
Good luck for the coming year! Re: only doing 5 subjects - I wouldn't stress, you still have the ability to do incredibly well. I graduated a few years ago but I do remember that the dux from my year level only did 5 subjects :)Just returned from a family holiday so just working and relaxing. Really keen to start learning material though! I’m trying my best to hold off, so I don’t burn out, but I want to make a small start now. Maybe next week isn’t too early to start?
Do you have any plans for your holidays?
Just returned from a family holiday so just working and relaxing. Really keen to start learning material though! I’m trying my best to hold off, so I don’t burn out, but I want to make a small start now. Maybe next week isn’t too early to start?
Most: English or Chem
Although since I haven’t done bio or psych before that could change! And fuels looks so boring but apparently it’s all of unit 3 :P
Least: I don’t actually hate any of my subjects but if I had to, Methods. Simply because I put in way more effort than I do for any of my other subjects and trips much lower scores
Really keen to start learning material though! I’m trying my best to hold off, so I don’t burn out, but I want to make a small start now. Maybe next week isn’t too early to start?
Wow that sounds nice, just in Australia or overseas?Yeah just in Australia. And yay I can’t wait to start learning! The only reason I thought it was too early is because I asked my Chem teacher the definition of a fuel (which would be the most concise and correct in a SAC) a few days ago over email and he said it’s this but make sure to take this time to rest etc etc. so I felt a bit bad after that. What do you have planned for the rest of the holidays?
Next week is probably the perfect time to start learning content ;)
Hey CoolgalYeah the homework they’ve given us is (what I think) a lot! :
That's pretty much the exact same with me, love chem and my least fav is methods.
Also, I've just started on fuels, I also thought it would be boring but guess I was wrong, the bits on biofuels interest me the most but yea I reckon you'll like it as well.
Wouldn't hurt to start, but you definitely don't need to go overboard during the holidays, after all even though this year is gonna fly, it is gonna be tiring so it's best to start with loads of energy in the beginning.
Are you loaded with much holiday homework? Personally I don't have that much but I seriously have to revise for methods . . . :P
Well hope your holidays have been great and relaxing so far, I'll stay tuned for your future updates.
:D
Yeah just in Australia. And yay I can’t wait to start learning! The only reason I thought it was too early is because I asked my Chem teacher the definition of a fuel (which would be the most concise and correct in a SAC) a few days ago over email and he said it’s this but make sure to take this time to rest etc etc. so I felt a bit bad after that. What do you have planned for the rest of the holidays?
Yeah the homework they’ve given us is (what I think) a lot! :
chapter 4 Methods
Chem- all of chapter 1 fuels+ edrolo + textbook questions and orientation sheet
Psych- orientation sheet + 2 worksheet booklets (thick)
English- just read book
Bio- all of chapter 1 questions and chapter 2 and orientation worksheet.
+ unit 1/2 of anything you didn’t understand in any subject :(
Haha I also discovered fuels aren’t that boring....apparently a fuel is a substance with stored chemical energy which can easily be released! Oh and I forgot to mention we have a Chem test on this stuff first day back! :P
Yeah the homework they’ve given us is (what I think) a lot! :
chapter 4 Methods
Chem- all of chapter 1 fuels+ edrolo + textbook questions and orientation sheet
Psych- orientation sheet + 2 worksheet booklets (thick)
English- just read book
Bio- all of chapter 1 questions and chapter 2 and orientation worksheet.
+ unit 1/2 of anything you didn’t understand in any subject :(
Haha I also discovered fuels aren’t that boring....apparently a fuel is a substance with stored chemical energy which can easily be released! Oh and I forgot to mention we have a Chem test on this stuff first day back! :P
Cool! Not much planned for the rest of the holidays, training, homework and the sort. Good luck with getting it done, at least you have another month ;)Hienneman 2- I found the unit 1/2 book very good as textbooks for most subjects are useless but this one is great for consolidating knowledge.
Nice summary of your homework! What textbook are you using for chemistry?
Yea same, I guess the chem test is a way to check that we actually did the holiday homework.I honestly feel a bit overwhelmed at the sheer amount I have to catch up on since I missed out on unit 1/2. I can’t imagine having to remeber a whole year worth of 3/4 content on top of it + 4 other subjects!! I also bought biozone from a friend.....hopefully it helps!
How u finding bio? In my opinion I find bio way more difficult than chem. But at the same time, bio content is pretty interesting but there is soo much to know it's quite intimidating. I recently purchased the biozone workbook, so hopefully, that helps throughout 2020.
Hienneman 2- I found the unit 1/2 book very good as textbooks for most subjects are useless but this one is great for consolidating knowledge.
And if you don’t mind me asking, what are you training for? We might be training for the same thing....
I honestly feel a bit overwhelmed at the sheer amount I have to catch up on since I missed out on unit 1/2. I can’t imagine having to remeber a whole year worth of 3/4 content on top of it + 4 other subjects!! I also bought biozone from a friend.....hopefully it helps!
Cool! And I replied to your message (on my bio guide thread) but it’s gymnastics :D What do you train for?
Also, don’t worry too much about missing content in 1/2. While it’s helpful to have background knowledge it’s not essential at all. I would focus more on getting a good grasp of AOS 1 U3 rather than worrying about what you missed in U1/2. I promise that in a few months, the content will seem less daunting ;)
Running.
Wow gymnastics! That’s so cool, how long have you been doing it for?
UPDATE: I just did some psych....and UNDERSTOOD IT. I’m really getting into experimental design and stuff (which is out holiday homework). But I hope it’s worth it because it’s apparently unit 4 aos 3. Fingers crossed we at least go over it class so I’m not behind (because Unit 3 AOS 1 is the nervous system and I’ve done a tiny bit on that- oops)
Term 1 is done.I feel that too, it's the strangest thing (isn't year 12 already stressful enough?) Good job on your psych and chemistry SACs (it sucks that you didn't get to do your bio though!)
I don’t know how to feel though. I had a psych sac today and it went okay but I was meant to have the bio sac tommorow and I really wish I could’ve to get it out of the way. The Chem sac was last week and that was okay. I’m so anxious and I have to keep reminding myself that we are currently only missing three days of school. The best I can do is revise over content I’ve done so far. I had no idea how to use these holidays best though. Get ahead or seriously consolidate what I’ve learned and get a good grasp on UCAT. Any opinions?
Not that anyone cares what I say or even reads my story :(
It was so hard going to that place everyday and being so lonley for almost a year but I feel like it’s even harder to sit alone at home with myself and still have to deal with that. I don’t know whether that problem will ever get better but only time will tell. Maybe I’ll look back on this journal and I’ll have friends and be happier and like myself. Or you know be gone
Term 1 is done.Congratulations on completing your Psychology and Chemistry SACs! Yeah, revising over content is good especially so that you can target the areas where you have gaps in your knowledge. That way, you'll have a good grasp of everything. I think you should do both like CM suggested. That way, you'll have the benefits of learning new content and also the benefits of clarifying any misconceptions.
I don’t know how to feel though. I had a psych sac today and it went okay but I was meant to have the bio sac tommorow and I really wish I could’ve to get it out of the way. The Chem sac was last week and that was okay. I’m so anxious and I have to keep reminding myself that we are currently only missing three days of school. The best I can do is revise over content I’ve done so far. I had no idea how to use these holidays best though. Get ahead or seriously consolidate what I’ve learned and get a good grasp on UCAT. Any opinions?
Not that anyone cares what I say or even reads my story :(No, don't say that, many people care! I care! CM cares! A whole lot of other people do too! We are all here to support you. :)
It was so hard going to that place everyday and being so lonely for almost a year but I feel like it’s even harder to sit alone at home with myself and still have to deal with that. I don’t know whether that problem will ever get better but only time will tell. Maybe I’ll look back on this journal and I’ll have friends and be happier and like myself. Or you know be goneSame! Even if I am in the house with other people, I'm in a very isolated place upstairs while everyone's downstairs but it's okay, at least we're all here with you! :) You got this and you can do it! I'm your friend and we'll always be here with you! ;D
I feel that too, it's the strangest thing (isn't year 12 already stressful enough?) Good job on your psych and chemistry SACs (it sucks that you didn't get to do your bio though!)
I think that you should set yourself some goals (as checklist if that works for you?) of what you want to achieve. Maybe spend the first week doing some revision and then start to do holiday homework and move ahead with some of the content in the other weeks. Fit some UCAT prep in there when you can. Obviously just do what works for you and make sure you leave some time to relax too :D
Of course we care! There are tonnes of people in this community that will always be happy to read your problems/successes and everything in between. Always feel free to message me or post on your journal when you need support ;D ;D (atarnotes people are cool people, what can we say?)
All the best 8) -CM-
Congratulations on completing your Psychology and Chemistry SACs! Yeah, revising over content is good especially so that you can target the areas where you have gaps in your knowledge. That way, you'll have a good grasp of everything. I think you should do both like CM suggested. That way, you'll have the benefits of learning new content and also the benefits of clarifying any misconceptions.Thanks! My school splits AOS into 2 SACs so those were my second SACs for those subjects :) and thanks for all the kind words Evolio.
Hey,
I was going to post this last night, and i know its easier said then done, but feel free to reach out whenever you need, year 12 is stressful and we all need somebody to lean on sometimes :)
I honestly feel your pain I was supposed to sit two SACs today (Bio and Legal) as well and its a pin cause you'll have to revise again for them whenever school chooses to sit them yay ::)
Do you have any goals/tasks for this school holidays, to help you achieve your ultimate goals??
To be honest no. But maybe just focusing on really consolidating the first AOS for all my subjects we have already learned and making notes which I didn’t have time to (especially for psych). And just really grinding methods and doing UCAT. Then I guess I’ll start on the next AOS if I have time? (sounds crazy to think I’ll run out of time being house bound for three weeks).
What about you? Maybe I could steal some of your ideas ;)
I'm finding it hard to find the motivation to complete any form of study with the idea of remote learning (exciting but tbh I love going to school like Year 12 is hard but so fun) but I am planning on making sure I am up to date with Edrolo, textbook questions, and write some practice essays and if after that I'm feeling motivated I'll probably re-read my english texts and start making notes for the next area of study for my subjects :)
I just got my English creative sac back and only got 83%. I feel so worthless maybe I should give up getting an atar that high. I can’t rven begin to imagine how many people are ranked above me. I wish I could just die. I tried so hard but I still couldn’t do it. I think I give up. There’s no way I could even maybe get a 35. I don’t know why I ever though I was good enough because I’m not. Oh well there’s three weeks till school I guess
It sucks you didn't achieve the mark you wanted, I honestly understand how you feel. If its any consolation there was a girl that went to my school once and she did alright on all of her sacs and the exam but here's the twist she went on a holiday during one of the sacs and got a 0 for it yet she still managed to pull a 33. I think you should be proud for your 83% as that has the potential to get you a 40 provided you do just as, if not better on your other sac's and the exam. Try not to focus on the uncertain for all you know you could, admittedly be ranked poorly but you dont know that for certain. You could be ranked like 3rd or hell even 2nd point is you never know and pondering it won't help you. Easier said than done but maybe you can try and use it as a source of motivation to do better? you have 3 weeks to use to your advantage :)
Does anyone else spend a lot of time worrying about what everyone’s doing? I’m so worried that everyone’s better than me and I’m not doing enough but I’m doing the best I can. But I still don’t think it’s good enough because I can’t even imagine what everyone else is doing it’s probably so much more. I told myself I wouldn’t gone back over AOS1 for all my subjects but I’ve still haven’t done it for most of them so I’ve extended my deadline to next Wednesday. I’ve been doing UCAT and I still feel like I’m doing nothing. I really want to cry because I’m trying so hard to improve but I’m still not good enough. I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough I think I should just give up but I really can’t relax I think I should really talk to someone about this but I’m not sure it’s just really hard. It’s so suffocating. I’m really disspaointed in myself, but when am I not?
Exams have been postponed and there will be no SACs in term 2. I have no idea what to do with myself. I’ve been doing 1 hour of UCAT and 2 hours of VCE a day (which is not much by atarnotes standards haha) but now I feel like I should do even less. If exams are in December at earliest I want to avoid burning out of becoming bored of content. Should I study as normal and then at end of year just space out prac exams so I can get heaps done????
Exams have been postponed and there will be no SACs in term 2. I have no idea what to do with myself. I’ve been doing 1 hour of UCAT and 2 hours of VCE a day (which is not much by atarnotes standards haha) but now I feel like I should do even less. If exams are in December at earliest I want to avoid burning out of becoming bored of content. Should I study as normal and then at end of year just space out prac exams so I can get heaps done????
It’s only the second day online but I feel so usless. I feel like such a burden reaching out to teachers. I’m so scared to email them or ask questions over zoom. I know I’ve got to be brave and overcome this fear but I’m so scared and it’s such a real fear (even though it’s irrational). I have no idea what to do. I feel like the questions I’m asking are too dumb and I don’t know what to do. I know it’s in my head but when they email back I feel like they same angry or like I’m wasting their time and I feel really bad and it was hard enough asking for help in real life. That made me feel bad also :(This is 100% a perfectly reasonable fear. When I first started out DECV, I didn't want to call my teachers at all thinking that i'd be annoying, or bother them. I got over this eventually in my later years at the school, but all it took was just a bit of confidence and thinking how, "if I don't ask this now, I am never going to get my answer." Keep in mind that some words may seem harsh written out, but they generally don't mean what they imply. I have has some emails where the teacher and I get along in person, but sometimes the emails come across a different way. So try not to take the written language to literally. No question is too dumb to ask, I have sent sooo may of those questions, my word. So don't feel afraid to send them. I wish you luck, I know you can do it, you'll find the confidence. Just think that this is as odd for them as it is you, and they will more then happy to help you. ;)
It’s only the second day online but I feel so usless. I feel like such a burden reaching out to teachers. I’m so scared to email them or ask questions over zoom. I know I’ve got to be brave and overcome this fear but I’m so scared and it’s such a real fear (even though it’s irrational). I have no idea what to do. I feel like the questions I’m asking are too dumb and I don’t know what to do. I know it’s in my head but when they email back I feel like they same angry or like I’m wasting their time and I feel really bad and it was hard enough asking for help in real life. That made me feel bad also :(
It’s only the second day online but I feel so usless. I feel like such a burden reaching out to teachers. I’m so scared to email them or ask questions over zoom. I know I’ve got to be brave and overcome this fear but I’m so scared and it’s such a real fear (even though it’s irrational). I have no idea what to do. I feel like the questions I’m asking are too dumb and I don’t know what to do. I know it’s in my head but when they email back I feel like they same angry or like I’m wasting their time and I feel really bad and it was hard enough asking for help in real life. That made me feel bad also :(
English
My English teacher has been so reluctant to help with our English sac preparation so I’ve been doing it alone. She made us submit a draft before the sac next Wednesday and she said “you haven’t taken a look at what I commented last time” but I can I just say she never reads our work? Everytime we submit paragraphs we don’t get any feedback. And if we ask she has to go back and actually look at it. I understand that this is a difficult time and I have absolutely no idea what could be happening in her home/ life, BUT it still really hurt my feelings. Did I mention she forgot to attach the draft she returned so now I can’t write another essay? (I don’t see much point doing more without feedback so I can produce one of better quality). I think I’ll just breakdown some essay prompts. I’m doing rear window if anyone feels like critiquing an essay haha.
BiologyI had the same attitude last year, let me know if you want any help, have any questions or want resources :)
The sac is on Monday and only half an hour and on photosynthesis/enzymes/cellular respiration. Not too concerned as this sac was supposed to be a month back and I also revised over the holidays (even though I totally thought they’d scrap this sac!!!!). I’m a sad that I’m probably gonna do worse than last time but I’ll be happy with 80%+ I guess.
UCAT:OMG YAY!!!!! That's so good you are improving, its not weird to be proud about that you 110% should be!
Did another prac exam last weekend. I’m heaps better but still appalling. But I’m extremely proud....? I know weird right. I just feel like I’ve come so far! (You have no idea what I was getting before ha).
Oh wow you are doing the exact same subjects as me this year and I'm also doing UCAT this year as well. Congrats with how much you're doing for UCAT. I haven't done any prac exams yet just prac questions.
I just cooked the first online bio sac. I’ve never felt this scared (since the first Chem sac). Im probably looking at 75% :(
I just cooked the first online bio sac. I’ve never felt this scared (since the first Chem sac). Im probably looking at 75% :(
. Reward yourself because you just did a year 12 SAC, forget about it and focus on the next one).
Keep it up, and believe in yourself, because we believe in you. You are good enough and confident enough to get through this year ;D
Hey hey Elle! ;D
Thanks for the amazing update! First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Hope your day is magical and filled with lots of laughter 🎉🥰(and absolutely no VCE).
Anyway, congrats on the amazing scores (Especially for hard sacs!) and give yourself a well-deserved break! You are doing such a great job and keep up the effort. Look after yourself for the rest of the week and during the holidays so you come back fresh and clear-minded ;D (Btw, I absolutely love the amount of emojis in this and the colour)
I’m on my way, to my UCAT hopefully it goes well. Here’s a song I thought is appropriate for the occasion:Spoilerhttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mo_IQUmmTvI
Idk how to make thumbnails 😭😭😭😭😭it’s too early for this
Gotta admit it feels good to no longer have to balance VCE and UCAT.I know right! Now you can just focus on VCE, rather than two things which should make things less stressful! I'm enjoying how I don't need to focus on two totally different things anymore!
I got my experimental design sac back and you guys know I’m terrible at this but the average was 71% but I got........89%!!!!!!!! I was really praying for 80%!!!Great job on that amazing mark!!
I predict my ss to be 25-30 but my teacher said Id have to work *really* hard to get a 30. He means really hard as in it’s impossible. Like I know I need to work my butt off but no need to be a pessimistHey, I believe in you. You can definitely get that 30 study score if you remain persistent and keep working hard. Don't focus too much on what can't happen, focus on what can happen. It's definitely possible to get a 30 study score. Don't hold back, you're nearly there.
MethodsCan complete relate with this hahaha. Even though methods is one of my better subjects I can agree that the SACs are awful to put it nicely (I am so glad that mine was in school). How are they putting it in a google form with all the symbols and stuff required especially for calculus.
BAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry I’ll be serious now. The SAC is two weeks from today and I will at least get 50% or die trying. I’ll settle for a pass though (40%). You guys have probably never seen numbers that low but.....it is what it is. The SAC is a google form yay me [not]. BUT THERES NO PROBABILLITY!!!!!! I should not fail. I will not fail!!
Hey there, I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling right now. VCE is hard enough as it is without all the crap 2020 has thrown at everyone. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, and we're here to support you.Continuation of the above moping, warning:sadi feel very empty right now. I wish it didn’t affect me but honestly I have nothing else going for me in my life. People say VCE should be about the memory’s you make with friends or the good times you had at school....what friends? Which good times? All I remember was trying to make it through every class without crying. I think I could deal with having no friends if I wasn’t rubbish at school. I’ve been in a very bad place for a long time but I’ve been hiding from it by throwing myself into school, convincing myself I’m not utter trash. But there’s no point if I can’t even be good at that. I frequently wish I could take my own life but I won’t simply because I’m too scared. But I’m not really worth anything, I’m very useless. I’m not quite sure what to do now- what reason do I really have to still be here, it’s all too much.
I feel so mad and demotivated. How come I study but people who don’t study and ~BRAG~ also get the same marks as me. They didn’t do a single practise either.
Worry not... you're not alone. Altho' I procrastinate. But still. The life of an introvert. Even though I'd like to see my family. Sorry, school friends, not keen to go back to school even for you. :PConfessions of an *extreme* introvert )I’m sad quarantine is ending soon. I liked being in hiding. Although it sucks that is SERIOUSLY tearing some people apart. I’ve never been this productive I love it. And not seeing people has my energy levels up. No one can reject me or be offensive 🙂. Except maybe on group chats but I can mute those! When we go back to school I won’t be able to study for exams as much or you know be “happy”. I say “happy” as I’m not truly happy but I’m also not on the verge of crying every two seconds. I’ll cherish these few months for the rest of my life I think. Utter. Complete. “bliss”.
I decided to update because I’m so happy Rn! I know I shouldn’t base my happiness on my grades but- it is what it is. After feeling really down in the dumps something good happened:
Chemistry:
The sac I panicked in......I got 96%!!! I was ecstatic! Still am! Although annoyed because the one mark I lost was in MC picking an incorrect indicator......maybe this SAC was a fluke 😅
Biology
Messed up that sac bad. Got a whopping 77%. Not getting a 45 in bio. Will barely get a 40. Have done one U3 prac exam and surprisingly got 80% I’m gonna hold off on doing more till I do some more photosynthesis and apoptosis/cellular signalling revision as we did those topics mostly online, the first time. Moved onto evolution + mutations SAC in week 9. I actually like this topic so far.
English
As you guys know I only got 80% on my language analysis sac and I would like to poke my self in the eyes. 🤬 anyway I’m going to re-list my mistakes so I can feel even more ]stupid:
Mistakes- text type
-target audience
-making sure paragraphs flow off one another (I’m gonna contend those one btw)
- Comparison between authorial intention.
- Conclusion which links authorial intent and purpose.
- a filter for consistency of analysis
Isn’t that beautiful? Anyway the comparitive sac is coming up (3 weeks wooh) and it’s online so I’ve got to do REALLY well to account for the fact that 80% of people openly cheat because they give us FOUR, hours, UNSUPERVISED. At least 85% pls 😩
Methods
SAC on Friday and I want bang on 40% PLS👏👏👏
Psychology:
Guys I’m getting behind because I ran out of flashcards I know it’s dumb but it’s my main study methods while “learning” before diving into other methods like practise questions. So Psych and bio have been on hold for two weeks......I quite like mental health. Although it’s evident I’m not resilient (as a mentally healthy person should be!) as not having flashcards results in me not studying.........
That’s it short and sweet! ☺️Things I have found on various VCE forums (not just AN)Sometimes I feel like even people on the internet don’t like me because I’m annoying. People are always telling me to not worry about study scores and actually study but sometimes it comes off as REALLY rude and hurts my feelings. I literally just asked a hypothetical question. I’m not saying I won’t study please stop saying that. Other people do it and they don’t get bashed :’( But whatever. I’m too sensitive for the world.Confessions of an *extreme* introvert )I’m sad quarantine is ending soon. I liked being in hiding. Although it sucks that is SERIOUSLY tearing some people apart. I’ve never been this productive I love it. And not seeing people has my energy levels up. No one can reject me or be offensive 🙂. Except maybe on group chats but I can mute those! When we go back to school I won’t be able to study for exams as much or you know be “happy”. I say “happy” as I’m not truly happy but I’m also not on the verge of crying every two seconds. I’ll cherish these few months for the rest of my life I think. Utter. Complete. “bliss”.
I’ve thrived off not seeing anyone. I know I’m sick but that’s just how it is. I know people are excited to see friends. But to that I say which friends?You're not alone, much as it may feel that way. I've liked not having to deal with people, personally. I was an absolute loner in primary school, despite trying to make friends. In some ways, nothing's changed. Sure, I now do have some friends but no one I would actually meet outside of school.
like nobody caresI beg to differ. People care. :) Case in point.
EDIT: this is AN so here’s some VCE stuff.If you're doing your best, the marks don't matter. I mean sure, they matter, but whatever you can do, at this point in time, if you do it, then that's worthy of commendation. And I feel you are trying hard, so good on you!
Methdos: failing
Psych: Struggling
Chemistry: I’m not quite sure
English: trial exam in a week
Biology: Enjoying but failing
I also hate how a lot of people say they feel lonely but they have friends. I think it’s valid to feel lonely and have have friends, I respect that and their feelings 💕. But I tried to tell someone how I feel and they said “same” but I know full well they have a groupchat of friends and got a cake for their birthday and etc.It does depend on your definition of friends; others may say they are 'friends' with me where I simply do not consider them friends. I'm not trying to downplay your feelings, at all! but while outwardly it may seem they have everything 'right', that may not actually be the case. However, your feelings are completely understandable.
They all think I can’t succeed and they are right. I’m stupid. [...] I’m not aiming for a 50 in these cases I said I wanted a 38-40 which I acknowledge is still high but grrrr just let me dream! I mean I’m working for it! And my sac marks improved but I hate myself.Just keep sticking at it! Look, that mindset of you being 'stupid' - something that unless you've employed someone else to write all your responses around the forums, I disagree with - is difficult to break out of but erroneous! You're working, your marks improved - and you don't need to be defined by what your teachers think. Honestly. I know it's easier to say than to do but it's true! Prove 'em wrong! :)
Yeah I know this is petty but it’s really changed me as a person.Once again, I beg to differ... your 'friends' ignoring you and pretending you're not there, is not petty in my judgement. It's totally understandable.
I thought I ended this journal because I felt useless being here: like nobody cares or I was just a burden, but I’m back because I have nowhere else to go and I need to at least say this and get it off my chest.You're not a burden. Seriously. :) You have readers (such as me). Would we come and read your journal if we weren't interested? No-one's telling me to come here. I come because it interests me. Truly.
SpoilerI can’t believe I really didn’t last year all the lunchtimes I spent alone almost crying. It makes me mad that I can’t be normal and make friends or just not be really flipping stupid. If I wasn’t dumb I’d be fine with having no friends but this is too much for me- it’s like I have nothing.
In short I haven’t done nearly enough these holidays but will regret it severely in the days And weeks to come.You do know there's this thing called a 'break'? Sounds like you've been working pretty hard, don't overwork yourself! Truly! Don't want to get into the exam all tired with studying. Everyone needs time to relax as well as to do schoolwork: school is not what defines you.
🌟Quite a juxtaposition to my last update 🌟Yay!! :D Good job! Finishing an English exam is great! (By the way, how do you write a TR in 35 minutes?! Let alone expect 6/10? Tell me your secrets!! :P)
I know nobody cares but I did my English trial exam today!!!! And FINISHED! I know no one cares but it was woahhhhhh. Tecahnically I didn’t quit finish the conclusion on the comparative but considering I was going to leave a conclusion off both Text response and comparative I feel amazing. I think I started out each quite strong and they got a bit weaker but i guess we will see. The company was VATE so I guess those are the people marking them? Does anyone have any experience with this?
It’s so dawnting before you do it but I feel like I can do anything now 😂 I know I’m so dramatic. Anyway I realise I need to plan wayyyy more essays that span all themes! I was really put on the spot today- but it worked out. My text response was written in 35 minutes so if I get a 6/10 that’s understandable. But I walked in there aiming for all sevens so please english gods deliver ::) (wow what is that emoji).
I’m so so happy!!! Off to study for the Chem exam on Monday and my psych sac next week! And the Methods exams I’ve been....doing? There’s no other word for what that is.
Oh guiltily watch a bit of gossip girl :PThe sich with gossip girlOkay so two years ago I got obsessed then on 4th August 2018 I got up to the last episoide of Season 3 last tango then Paris. I never touched it again. Until a few weeks ago. Post English comparative. Nothing left to do except wait to study like a madman last holidays. WHAM i got sucked back in from the very start because I couldn’t remember much. Maybe should’ve left it tile after year 12 but......I can’t study 24/7 can I. 20/7 is a much better ratio 😁 If you were me would you guys stop
This update was much more ~upbeat~ so hopefully I don’t discourage you guys from replying by being too bleh :P like I always am :-\
The company was VATE so I guess those are the people marking them? Does anyone have any experience with this?
🌟Quite a juxtaposition to my last update 🌟Hey Elle!
I know nobody cares but I did my English trial exam today!!!! And FINISHED! I know no one cares but it was woahhhhhh. Tecahnically I didn’t quit finish the conclusion on the comparative but considering I was going to leave a conclusion off both Text response and comparative I feel amazing. I think I started out each quite strong and they got a bit weaker but i guess we will see. The company was VATE so I guess those are the people marking them? Does anyone have any experience with this?
It’s so dawnting before you do it but I feel like I can do anything now 😂 I know I’m so dramatic. Anyway I realise I need to plan wayyyy more essays that span all themes! I was really put on the spot today- but it worked out. My text response was written in 35 minutes so if I get a 6/10 that’s understandable. But I walked in there aiming for all sevens so please english gods deliver ::) (wow what is that emoji).
I’m so so happy!!! Off to study for the Chem exam on Monday and my psych sac next week! And the Methods exams I’ve been....doing? There’s no other word for what that is.
Oh guiltily watch a bit of gossip girl :PThe sich with gossip girlOkay so two years ago I got obsessed then on 4th August 2018 I got up to the last episoide of Season 3 last tango then Paris. I never touched it again. Until a few weeks ago. Post English comparative. Nothing left to do except wait to study like a madman last holidays. WHAM i got sucked back in from the very start because I couldn’t remember much. Maybe should’ve left it tile after year 12 but......I can’t study 24/7 can I. 20/7 is a much better ratio 😁 If you were me would you guys stop
This update was much more ~upbeat~ so hopefully I don’t discourage you guys from replying by being too bleh :P like I always am :-\
Yay!! :D Good job! Finishing an English exam is great! (By the way, how do you write a TR in 35 minutes?! Let alone expect 6/10? Tell me your secrets!! :P)oops your right....maybe 6/10 is a little generous! Also you don’t need my 4/10 advice Miss 20/20 ;)
:D
Hey Elle!!!🥰🥰Excited to see you on there too! I’m actually not sure how I wrote that and what I wrote but it was NOT good hehe. Also I found the rear window prompt tricky it’s much harder than comparative for me :(
YES GIRL CONGRATS FOR FINISHING THE ENGLISH TRIAL EXAM!!!
(https://i.imgur.com/sEvOr0p.gif)
I also had a trial practice exam with the 2020 VATE exam during the holidays! [I'm not too sure if my exam was marked specifically by them but based on my school it sounds like it could have been]. How did you find the Rear Window prompt? [They were two pretty interesting ones to talk about. I think it was social criticism and voyeurism?].
And my second question, what type of magical powers do you have to make a whole essay in 35 minutes???😱. I could never write a whole essay on Rear Window in that time; my hand would break down on me.
I'm so glad to see an update from you Elle and keep up the amazing work!! Good luck on your future trial exams!I'm also excited to see you on the train haha
Update: sad again, got 71% in my last experimental design Chem sac, 71% in the ACCESSeducation trial exam I did at school yesterday (are these hard or am I just dumb?) and to top it all off my SEAS application didn’t go though yay 🙃SpoilerThe will to live is low right now. Maybe this is a sign from the universe this world is useless. It’s so annoying that no matter how hard I try I’m still an idiot. I don’t care about my study scores or getting 40s anymore but it still hurts to know I’ll never be good enough. What’s the point of having “good work ethic” if nothing comes of it. Honestly throwing myself into a bridge is an attractive option, I hate my life so much and it just never gets better, I just wanna be good at something and school is all I have :( no friends lol, I’d take all the friends in the world considering how dumb I am. But nope lost out on both fronts
Also yes I know I’m posting a lot but in like a month I won’t be relevant anymore so I may as well enjoy it why it last- I’m sorry that’s annoying I’ll be gone soon enough :)
'20/20' I wish :)Cat in the 🎩oops your right....maybe 6/10 is a little generous! Also you don’t need my 4/10 advice Miss 20/20 ;)
Update: sad again, got 71% in my last experimental design Chem sac, 71% in the ACCESSeducation trial exam I did at school yesterday (are these hard or am I just dumb?) and to top it all off my SEAS application didn’t go though yay 🙃Just remember, 71% is still a good mark!! I could never get that (which is why I dropped Chem...). Everyone has different strengths. Maybe yours just isn't highschool/academia; you just need to find it :)
Please just stick at it. 'Idiot'? Excuse me? Unless you're getting someone else to write the rest of your posts or something, you're not an idiot. 'Never be good enough'? Um, you must have a really really high bar for 'good enough'. Please. Don't beat yourself up about it. Maybe academia isn't your thing, or maybe you just need a break. :) And nothing comes of good work? It does, I assure you it does, even if you don't see it now. This is good for the future, laying good groundwork. You want to be good at something - perseverance like you appear to have is something that's really good! Maybe it doesn't show now, but stick at it and you'll do well. Far better than the insanely smart people who slack off all the time and don't put in consistency. :)SpoilerThe will to live is low right now. Maybe this is a sign from the universe this world is useless. It’s so annoying that no matter how hard I try I’m still an idiot. I don’t care about my study scores or getting 40s anymore but it still hurts to know I’ll never be good enough. What’s the point of having “good work ethic” if nothing comes of it. Honestly throwing myself into a bridge is an attractive option, I hate my life so much and it just never gets better, I just wanna be good at something and school is all I have :( no friends lol, I’d take all the friends in the world considering how dumb I am. But nope lost out on both fronts
Update: sad again, got 71% in my last experimental design Chem sac, 71% in the ACCESSeducation trial exam I did at school yesterday (are these hard or am I just dumb?) and to top it all off my SEAS application didn’t go though yay 🙃SpoilerThe will to live is low right now. Maybe this is a sign from the universe this world is useless. It’s so annoying that no matter how hard I try I’m still an idiot. I don’t care about my study scores or getting 40s anymore but it still hurts to know I’ll never be good enough. What’s the point of having “good work ethic” if nothing comes of it. Honestly throwing myself into a bridge is an attractive option, I hate my life so much and it just never gets better, I just wanna be good at something and school is all I have :( no friends lol, I’d take all the friends in the world considering how dumb I am. But nope lost out on both fronts
Also yes I know I’m posting a lot but in like a month I won’t be relevant anymore so I may as well enjoy it why it last- I’m sorry that’s annoying I’ll be gone soon enough :)
How many more days do you have to see your class? Good job for pushing your mark up, anyhow! :)RE BoobookWe did Boobook too, the questions threw me for a loop a bit, nothing like what I expected, but then we got back really good fairly detailed feedback (although I was a bit surprised to get as high as I did especially comparing it with the rest of my class and others I'd expect certain marks from). However, we have been being marked by them I think in all SACs as well, so maybe it's different.
Today is one week till the English exam😰Try not to stress - use breathing techniques, etc. Also, those hours you spent on English? Not wasted. Even if you feel you did 'give up', it was still exposure to the content, etc., that you wouldn't've got otherwise.
I tried writing two essays then gave up and am now sad because that’s 2 hours of the day wasted and it’s only 12 more till I go back to sleep! I did 2 essays yesterday and it was a success. But today none. I’m not really sure what’s happening but I can’t believe these quotes will mean nothing in a week.
Is anyone else finding they get stressed wasting time that could’ve been used elsewhere? Like I could’ve done a bio or psych exam or something! It makes me panic thinking what I could’ve done. I could’ve slept I could’ve been productive. I feel on the verge of a panic attack just thinking about it.
EDIT: spelling mistakes
I was gonna write some elaborate update dramatically but I really can’t I’m so tired!It's done. Remember that. What you've done, you've done, and
It just went bad- if your interested in most of it it’s down below. The thing is I don’t care because I can’t change it.
3 Hours. 3 Essays. 13 years after learning to write its over.PrologueOkay so before you read this wall of word vomit- I actually failed the exam and am not getting a 40. I had no adrenaline whatsoever. Everyone’s saying they did so well and then there’s me.......BUT my psychology teacher (yes I went to a psych teacher after the exam hehe) said I must’ve done well if I thought I did badly and the people who thought they did well actually must not have done as well as they thought because people usually either underestimate or over estimate their performance. I found a little comfort in that so hopefully I underestimated my performance but I’ve removed my mind from that 40 in English mindset and reduced it to that 37 in English mindset haha. I do however think since the exam was “easy” and the questions were straight forward people only who included complexity will be rewarded as the topics where quite simple- WHICH MEANS I LOST AGAIN! My ideas were basic- but moving on!Pre- English ExamsSo imagine it’s 8:45 and you found out your in a room with only 20 other people instead of in the auditorium with the other 150 odd English- doers. Your friends give you looks of pity as you leave wishing you good luck as those of you who do psych know, context dependant cues do not exist in that room- I had not been in there since that failure of a language analysis SAC.Reading Time/Section CAnyway 9:00. Start reading. BOOM it’s one article which luckily the last 3 language analysis’s you did were only one article because, well I’m not sure why but the 2020 commercial exams and the 2018 vcaa exam said so! It was such a dry article. Come on vcaa. Also everyone saying it’s easy......what? Okay it was easy in the sense for shallow analysis of oh this blah blah rhetorical question but I struggled to find the techniques of appeal to specific target audience which show complexity and to crack that 8-10/10 bracket. Wrote this bad things blah blah. Predicted 6-7/10 sadly
Despite all that. That section A was probably one of the best ones I’ve ever done- and you guys know I hate section A. Predict 7-8/10
Section B was probably what an assessor will like. The more that I think about it the more I think my ideas were actually pretty complex I just could execute it as eloquently as I’d like (that’s gotta count for something right? ???). Predict 7-8/10
Oh and what was weird was the prompts were so bad, I wrote CAB instead of CBA, I think though if I wrote ACB i could’ve done much better! Dumb analysis article, it was horrid!
Anyway gotta go cram psych and bio ;D ;)
The end :PI don't know what to say to this, but the thing that was really sticking out to me while I read it was, please please please go for help and talk it through with someone. Having observed someone in my life go emotionally downhill in the past, I hate to see the way how you are is reminding me of that. It scares me. Please don't leave yourself in this mindset.
I really thought I’d have some happy update for you guys. But I’m actually just really upset, sitting in the dark in my room as I write this.
The chemistry exam was amazing of course and I loved it but I think a made a few too many mistakes and perhaps wrote too much but oh well, and for that egg question grrr I (not really) got it but I didn’t use the word denature! 0/3 marks for me :D
The euphoria post Chem exam was euphoric....hehe. I’ve split my sentence here as this is where the fuzzy good times end folks.Reality Check(continues from Chem euphoria) But now I just feel indifferent to what reality is now for the rest of my life. Being just lonley. Everyone has all these plans to do fun things with their friends but now that schools finished my “friends” are no longer obligated to pretend to wanna see me. In fact they hung out today without me after Chem but I don’t really mind I’d rather be alone.
I can’t belive I was looking forward to the end of VCE. I mean what was I really looking forward to? I really don’t care for this or what my ATARS going to be. I don’t care about anything anymore. I don’t care what uni course I get into what study scores I get- everything just seems so irrelevant it’s a little sad. I don’t even wanna watch friends or play sims 3- all the things I’ve been powering through exams for.
It seems like such a lie- one ive been running away from through study. I start work tomorrow and I don’t even want money anymore I just wanna stay in bed all day. It’s weird how everything I thought I wanted just doesn’t mean anything anymore. I’m gonna end this here because I’m not sure what the point was.Me departing from ANI’m not sure if I’ll come back. I feel horrible as it is and seeing people aiming for 40 study scores in a subject they “failed” doesn’t make it any better. I really don’t think I should’ve hung around here as much as I did. A lot of people here really helped me because your all so nice 💜 but at the same time seeing people being depressed over getting seriously high scores I’ll never reach really made me feel worthless and I still do. For that reason I probably won’t post my scores or come back to look on results day. It seriously irked me when people constantly say they failed and their worst subject will be “low 40s”. Like this guy (irl) said that further was “an easy 48” grrrr. I think some people should just shut up and kick the bucket. We cannot all get amazing scores in our “worse” subjects so please stop spreading that negativity because no one asked. I actually have hate for people it’s real. The sad thing is those people exist everywhere. They can’t just die because I want them to and that’s okay. I’ve come to terms with it. I’ve come to terms with a lot of things. Like the fact that I’m dumb and I can’t change it. Or that I’m ugly and I can’t change that either. It’s all okaycontradictories statementThat said maybe if I start to enjoy life I may post my scores or something (as I like finishing what I started and without them this journal would be incomplete) I’m just not sure right now I’m confused as to what’s happening and I just wish I could find happiness somewhere but, I genuinely don’t believe it exists anymore and I think everything’s a lie. How can people laugh with each other? Eat with each other? Knowing that it’s all really nothing I’m confused as to why we do this any of it. Why don’t we just GIVE up. I don’t understand. I wish I was wired normally so I could just see things like everyone else~ the ignorance seems bliss. Instead I can just see this stuff that I hate. It’s just bland.
I’m not sure what that garbage was but writing it made me feel better I think? At least I’m not crying anymore right?Clarification on MEAlso I know I seem spiteful. I’m not a people hater I promise. I’ve just had so many bad experiences with people and they just seem SO BAD I think they all hate me or wanna hurt me, I’m not really sure what’s up. There’s no one I can really tell so I just write it here. Lucky for you guys high school is over so you never have to heat any of my stupid thoughts again :) :)
I would talk about my other subjects but I failed them also. Maybe I’ll say something later. If your seriously interested though I posted on the study score prediction thread with a nice little message that I think we should all remember :)
Salut, AN