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December 03, 2021, 02:46:14 pm

Author Topic: jeyda's journey through VCE ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ  (Read 19752 times)

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tiredandstressed

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Re: jeyda's journey through VCE ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
« Reply #75 on: September 12, 2021, 11:19:06 pm »
+4

If any uni students are reading, if you'd like, I'd appreciate some advice on my uni-related stuff so I can get an idea of what to do 😅
Thanks for reading this update too and have a great end to the week!


Hi Jeyda :D
Really glad to see an update!
Looking after your mental health is so important so I am pleased to hear that you were able to find a supportive network of friends to help you through a rough patch, you're almost there keep it up!
As for your uni concerns, ashmi has provided some great advice, but I thought I'd add some of my thoughts since I am bit older (but not that old XD) just to help you out.
Fun fact: I was gonna do biomed + law
I didn't take legal but thought law would be fun to study, esp when I got my ATAR and it was high enough I really did consider it but in the end I knew I wanted to go the science the route and studying five years did not seem fun so I decided to just do biomed (although maybe taking law might have helped who knows)
As for your concerns, I think keeping Monash Arts/Law as your top preference is a good idea since it looks like that what you want!
Just wanted to know you didn't include Monash Law (honours)
Spoiler
VTAC code: 2800328381
was this because you really want to have the arts component to study your other interests (e.g. korean & human geo) which if so that's fine but just wanted to let you know law on its own is a possibility for you as well (although it has the same monash guarantee atar so kinda redundant)
From what I know I agree with Ashimi I know some people who went from Melb Arts to Monash Law and ofc you could also transfer from Monash Arts as well as for Melb Arts vs Monash Arts both are great!
I will say making friends at Melb is very possible, it is a friendly environment with genuine and compassionate individuals and clubs are a great way to make friends, but you don't need to join a club to make friends, but it does help.
There are a few oddballs and toxic ppl
Spoiler
(yes there are some gen-z conservatives out there which aint cute)
but they represent the minority of the uni culture.
Personally, I chose Melb over Monash due to the distance which is ironic since I spent two years doing my degree online, but I was in a similar predicament but Monash is two years away for me.
And I will say the train ride does hit ya, my brother studies psych @ Monash and when he had in-person classes he found the travel draining and often would crash to bed as soon as he got home.
But you also need to think about your opportunities, do your research but from what I know a Monash Arts applicant vs Melb Arts shouldn't have an advantage when it comes to law transfer (this might be something you might want to investigate), but also if you do go to Monash and then you get to transfer you may be more socially adapted since you would already have Monash friends whereas if you transfer from Melb you would have to repeat that process. Now this is not a bad thing, and it's just a minor thing to consider ofc you can just make friends but Ik for some introverted ppl it might be hard especially in sem 2 when ppl already have their 'cliques' (which btw you will find is not often the case, in uni, I didn't really have a group but just had close individual friends, I think it just makes sure your friendships more meaningful that way.
In summary, keep monash law even if you think you won't get in there may be a chance! Did you get a chance to visit any open days (virtually) that might've helped you?
But I think spend some time reading the coursebook for Monash and Melb Art and see which program you think is better suited for you, you can probably see what subjects you can take so research that (if you don't know how to find this pm me I can help you)
Otherwise, I wish you all the best with your upcoming SACs try not to stress too much as this will affect your performance, you are more than competent to do very well!
I hope you do well in all your subjects, and don't let VCD take you down remember you already have a 40 in your belt (GO YOU- YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF THAT bcoz i am!) so if VCD is in your bottom two a reminder the difference between a 20, 30 and 40 is only 1 aggregate point (very marginal)
Hope you smash it! I look forward to your future update (feel free to pm me for psych advice as well)
Wishing you all the best,
T&S
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blueycan

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Re: jeyda's journey through VCE ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
« Reply #76 on: September 16, 2021, 05:34:01 pm »
+8
Just finished my last ever English SAC! Fitting since there is now 40 days until the English exam... That comparative honestly left me breathless but I can't relax just yet. I have Legal and Further tomorrow as well as the submission of my VCD folio. I will be back after those to do a proper update + reply to everyone (thank you<3) but just wanted to come celebrate English quickly!!
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lm21074

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Re: jeyda's journey through VCE ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
« Reply #77 on: September 16, 2021, 06:14:03 pm »
+3
Congrats Jeyda! Hope legal, VCD and further go well and that a weight is lifted off your shoulders tomorrow :)

wingdings2791

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Re: jeyda's journey through VCE ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
« Reply #78 on: September 16, 2021, 10:38:08 pm »
+4
Echoing lm21074, a massive congrats with English! It must feel truly superb with only the exam left to go now :) Good luck for your remaining SACs, I know that folio has gotta be gold standard ~
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blueycan

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Re: jeyda's journey through VCE ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
« Reply #79 on: September 20, 2021, 10:57:20 pm »
+6
@windings, lm
Thanks guys!!! Hugeee weight is lifted now  ;D

🎧🧿
36 days until the English exam. I know I said I didn't want to cause us extra anxiety.... but I couldn't resist.

We made it to the end of term three, everybody! Two subjects down, and three to go– I haven't finished all the SACs for my classes yet (sadly) so while this holiday was originally intended to be exam revision, I also have to study for three SACs in the first week back. Which is fine. Just fine.

Since I last updated, I officially finished every single English SAC for the year, handed in my VCD folio, and sat a SAC for both Legal and Further. Last week was quite a shitshow– I was waking up at 6-7 every morning and revising until nighttime (for the first time in my life) to get all my coursework done + revise for my big SACs at the end of the week. It was actually nice to be up that early in the morning– I always take too much time in the mornings before school and having an extra hour or so to myself felt really beneficial to the rest of my day. It also meant I was able to sleep earlier at night which... shocker... wasn't that bad. I gotta give it to the Year 12s posting their daily routines on tiktok though, they gave me the initial motivation to start getting my shit together. It's easy to fall in the mindset of having pressure placed upon yourself that you tend to single yourself out in your mind, and seeing other year 12s studying and getting through their days studying online put the whole thing into perspective (and also gave me a lil kick up the ass to get working).

The English SAC, despite my crisis, went pretty well! I found that I had a lot of ideas for the prompt I chose and I was able to get through the whole thing without too much of a block (except when I had to stand in the corner for a minute to get the creative juices flowing). I'm just happy to get all my SACs out of the way and start exam revision. I'm planning to rewatch Rear Window and go over my booklets for each topic to start revising previous topics, I am a little worried about squeezing my writing process down to less than an hour though. With our 3 hour mid-years, I managed to get around 7's for each essay (with only 2 and a half days study) so I'm confident that I have a good base to work off of.

I'm sure those reading who've done a folio subject can relate, but handing in my portfolio Friday morning after working on it religiously for about 13 weeks felt really weird. It is definitely NOT gold standard @wingdings  ;) more like rusty copper, but I'm pretty proud of how everything turned out, and I've been assured that I'll pass, which is really all that matters. To think I was going to drop the subject in Unit 4 seems really embarrassing now that it's all over– all that is left is the exam and I am not feeling as horrible as I did about it than the mid years. Perhaps because I have some perspective on how the exam will actually proceed and will have adequate time to study (wow really no way bro)

Legal went pretty good, despite that I barely gave myself time to complete the (weirdly complicated) practice sac (shoutout to Megan @tutesmart for helping me Thursday night). It was split into three parts and we had certain time blocks to complete each section– I managed to fully answer every question except the last question of section 2 where I had to DOT POINT 😭 DOT POINT, PEOPLE 😭 I was so desperate to get my words in before the time ran out– need to work on time management for exams definitely... I think I'll range about 80s. My teachers are really critical in their marking + I would say exams are easy compared to our sacs and I've never scraped a 90 so lets see if I can break a record with this one 😛

The networks SAC for Further was.... another story. But not bad! It was actually a pretty good SAC. This SAC had a similar set up to the other SACs I sat in school where it was split into three parts, each part being a different concept or question. It isn't the worst subject when you understand what you're doing but unfortunately for me, I didn't understand about half of the first section which was about critical planning / crashing– I definitely need to revise more for networks, booking a tutoring session as soon as I type this out 🙃 I'm so envious of those whose brains are just mathematically and scientifically blessed– and I'm afraid I've let you guys down with my monkey brain understanding... dramatics aside, the rest of the SAC went smoothly, and I think I should range about 70-80 with this one.

I took this past weekend off to rest and indulge in all the media I avoided last week and I really struggled to find things to do when I was meant to be resting. I've been so used to getting up and at it every day now so having some time off felt scandalous... needless to say I slept in until noon, watched tiktoks and binge-read Sweetbitter by Stephanie Danler (really good book). I feel like after exams I'll also have a similar experience where I just forget how to function and become a sloth– hopefully that won't be the case 😅
I also got vaccinated yesterday which was *super* fun– I'm not scared of needles but for some reason I became pretty nervous when giving my details and I momentarily forgot my phone number (????) and was just stuttering half the time but it's okay. We survived. Didn't have any side effects apart from being tired, which could just be me– but my arm doesn't hurt?? (don't wanna push my luck there). I also managed to book my second dose for a week before exams (!!!!) and that means I'll be fully vaccinated by then which is a huuuge relief.

@ashmi, ThunderDragon, t&s // Some more uni talk
Thanks so much for your advice guys, I really appreciate it!
In regards to the social scene surrounding each school, it isn't something I am freaked out over, as I know that it shouldn't be too difficult to meet people, but knowing both unis have a pretty good environment is assuring. I have gone to the 2019 open day for unimelb and have participated in both schools' online open days this year and last, so I think I have a pretty good understanding of what I'd do at each school, the thing that drew me more to Monash was the fact that I could study subjects that pertained to more human health/geo in their arts degree than what I've seen in the Melbourne Arts program. That isn't the end of the world for me though, as I am keen on studying some form of international relations or politics as well. Also, with arts at Melbourne, the diploma of languages (although not offered in Korean, which is fine, because I'd love to study the other languages available too) is appealing.
When I was writing that last post, I think I was a bit hesitant to study Arts straight up in case I felt like I was wasting my time when I could instead be studying law simultaneously– but giving it some second thought, and due to new developments, it does seem like something I would really enjoy. I don't favour either school and I think either program would be really fulfilling, it's just that realistically, as you guys said, the whole transport issue (and the ATAR tbh) could potentially cause stress in the future.
While studying law would be really awesome, considering that I'd be effectively starting in ~6 months and (might) be thrown into a 3 hour commute back and forth when the furthest I've gone on PT is Lygon St is a bit intimidating. Considering what @T&S shared about his brother, the ride could take a toll on me (not to get TMI but i'm prone to fatigue bc of anaemia caused by thalassemia) and I'm not sure if I'd be able to get the most out of my experience if I'm tired all of the time. Also, I think I'd have a lot less stress/pressure with the ATAR goal of Melbourne (~85 + SEAS) over Monash, which is 93+ for an estimated selection rank into 97, or 94 for Monash Guarantee. Melb have also introduced study score considerations and I'm eligible for English and Psych considerations if I get over 35 which ... considering how I'm going ... I should get over 35? Which is exciting to think abt
 + topic of transferring, this does give me relief in that I have the opportunity to change my mind even if I commit to a school and don't particularly enjoy it.

I also just learnt I've been nominated for the Melbourne Principals' Scholarship... which is insane and I'm so grateful to be chosen... but basically means a guaranteed scholarship if I get into Melbourne + not guaranteed scholarship for Monash (although could be likely as pointed out by Ashmi). I am kind of leaning heavily to Melbourne now because of this– also, I have had the opportunity to speak to a Melb Law student about uni and while not guaranteed, the Arts + JD combo does seem really cool and I do have a rough idea of what I'd study based on reading up on the degrees for the past, like, 3 years 😂

I still am in a bit of a pickle but I am leaning towards Melbourne – kind of always have been, but Monash has stuck out a lot and seemed really cool. Blergh I dont know. I think sleeping on it a bit more should help.

I'll stop here for this update– I might try and update earlier in the week to record my exam revision ~experience~ but I'm not making promises because that didn't turn out well last time  :P
<3
« Last Edit: September 20, 2021, 11:07:52 pm by blueycan »
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ashmi

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Re: jeyda's journey through VCE ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
« Reply #80 on: September 21, 2021, 08:33:11 pm »
+4
Hey hey Jeyda!!

First of all, congrats for finishing your last English SAC!! That is absolutely amazing to hear and I am so happy to hear that you are happy with your work. (This would be a perfect time to listen to the Rear Window soundtrack on Spotify if you need some inspiration haha).

Oh yes, the big 'handing in your folio' bit is one of the weirdest feelings in the world (Sometimes, it is like a part of your soul is attached to 100 pieces of A3 paper). It's something you worked on for a long period of time and now you have a huge weight off your shoulders. You have done your very best Jeyda and don't worry, I'm sure everything will turn out fine. Focus on the exam and give it your all because that will moderate your folio the most!

The Uni Stuff👀
Congrats for being nominated for the Melbourne Principals' Scholarship WOOOHOOO! What a bonus to have if you decide to study at Unimelb ;D.
For your situation, it might be best to sleep on it for a bit and just put in a preference that your heart says. (I know cliche sorry). There is a window after your ATAR comes out where you can change your preferences, so if you decide really late down the track you want to change you can do that.

Keep your head high and whatever you do, just keep going till you get to the end. I believe in you and I'm sure many of us on AN are here to support you every step of the way. I hope you are proud of yourself for what you have accomplished and please don't underestimate yourself. You are capable to achieve the scores you need to get you where you need to go and no matter what happens, we are always here to help you whenever you get stuck. Don't think about the negatives; just take the feedback and keep moving forward one step at a time. You have come so far in your journey and you are nearly there. I know deep down that you have what it takes and this is your chance to give it all you have!

Go rewatch Rear Window, charge that CAS calculator up, sharpen your pencils for a mad rush of drawing and most importantly, get those pens out for writing!!!

Good luck with what's ahead and looking forward to another update  ;D

blueycan

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Re: jeyda's journey through VCE ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
« Reply #81 on: October 04, 2021, 05:10:54 pm »
+6
Last first day of term– what a beautiful day I spent making memories with no one as I was working from my bed.
Time is ticking a little faster than I wish it would right now. There are merely three weeks left until the VCE English exam.
I feel like in the whole scope of my schooling experience, year 12 exam season has been the very last checkpoint– the glimmering goal at the end of the tunnel, but I have to keep reminding myself that it isn't some figure in the distance anymore. It's literally right now. I still can't even register that I am in year 12 and I'm meant to be studying for my exams.
I'll admit that I spent my two weeks of holidays very lavishly. I woke up every day with the intention to do something... do anything... but I did what you're not supposed to do in the last term break of year 12, which is to relax.

Here's (almost) everything I've done these holidays!
– attended AN lectures
– studied for psychology, legal and math sacs
– re-studied Extinction
– leftover coursework (not *entirely* finished yet but ykw I deserve to put this here)
– finished season 2 of Haikyuu
– started New Girl
– started Squid Game (only three eps in.... no spoilers pLS)
– started and now am up to date with Hometown Cha Cha Cha
– watched Seventeen In the Soop
– starting riding my bike again (I can't believe I'm actually somewhat good at it)
– read ~2 fiction books and am starting a third
– organised all of my work and practice exams
– organised my skincare
– made focaccia bread
– made American-style fried chicken sandwiches

I did revise to an extent but I didn't do any practice exams or essays or anything. Seeing other people work themselves to the core during the holidays, while motivating at first, has kind of been nudging the the anxiety dial ever so slightly? My bad habit of comparing myself to others has gotten better this year, but I can't help but wish I had been doing more this past month or so.
I'm telling myself that I'm purposefully taking things easy to save myself from burning out (again), but I don't know if that is just an excuse to validate my doubts that I'm not doing enough. While I did mentally struggle last year, this year has just been so much worse. I've made efforts to keep following a relatively healthy schedule, keep active, talk to people, study as best as I can in the way that suits me, limit my time on social media, yada yada– but, whether pandemic-related or not, I am just not in the mindset to be grinding and hustling to an inch of my life for exams. When I speak to other people about how I'm feeling I notice that the words coming out of my mouth (or the words I'm typing out on my keyboard, lets be real here) seem fake to me, I say I'm doing alright, but to my standards, I'm not... I don't know if this makes sense. I'm studying, I'm resting, I'm doing everything I should be– isn't this a good thing? Am I failing at being a good high-achieving year 12 student just because I'm not working super duper hard right now? Is there any benefit in working myself bone-dry at a time where I feel most vulnerable to anxiety and stress? I'd honestly rather work to my ability and receive the marks that come of it than strive for the highest possible outcome and get smacked whatever health complications are to come with that. I do have a 43 in HHD already, and I've been averaging A's for most of my subjects so far. Even if I don't knock everyone out of the park with my exam results, I'm in a good place right now with my marks. I'm confident that I can gain entry into a course that I want. And I don't need to effectively break myself down to be at the top of the top. (consider these more as manifestation affirmations than statements at this point)

As I reflect back on my time in year 12 thus far, being a perfectionist about everything didn't have many benefits. I find myself so scared of failing at something that I will spend hours upon hours avoiding it. Hours on the ATAR calculator, looking through questions, looking at courses, looking at my VTAC account, organising my materials, ordering new stationery, cleaning out my desktop files, cleaning my actual desk... all these tasks I mistook for productivity were actually procrastination all along. Once I get stuck into this cycle of putting everything off and then stress-studying and beating myself up for not starting sooner, it tends to eat me alive.
So, I'm trying to take it easy. I wanted to type this out as a little reminder to myself if I ever feel like I'm slipping back into panic-mode. I guess we'll both see where this leads?

I haven't started practice exams yet but I think I will try to squeeze at least some questions in before my trial exams next week. I also want to get some practice drawings in for VCD and finish off my legal studies coursework before my SAC.
The GAT is tomorrow, which should be fun– last year I actually really enjoyed reading the poems and seeing the artworks (especially that fisherman one– am I weird?) but the only thing I'm worried about is the COVID risk, as I live in a hotspot suburb ):
Also have to fulfil my captain duties and FINALLY organise the 2021 yearbook and maybe some other things that I don't want to reveal in case my friends are reading  :P So hopefully it will be a good end to the year.

Instead of writing this entry in my journal at the end of the year, I wanted to vocalise these thoughts heading into SWOTVAC, to share where I am at and ensuring that I'm being transparent to myself. And this sounds cheesy so feel free to close your eyes right about now but if you're a high-school student and you're stressed about Year 12, if I could give you any advice it would be to just take things as they come to you. I had such an intricate plan set out for me, but everything that could go to shit, went to shit, and I needed to fully adjust my whole perspective on my studies. I don't want to scare anyone (lol) but you just really can't expect what will happen during the year, and this goes for any situation, not just COVID. Don't feel like change, or unexpected predicaments, or even a fail will impact you so immensely you'll never be able to recover. And for those people who feel like they will never climb out of the hole they've fallen into– while our situations aren't the same, and I don't know who's reading this so even if I never know you or meet you, I already know that you got this.

This was a weirdly spontaneous post and I'm not quite sure where all these thoughts came from but I'm gonna post this anyway because... why not. Good luck for the GAT to whoever is taking it tomorrow! I will now proceed to eating my dinner and watching ep 12 of Hometown ChaChaCha, and I wish you a beautiful evening from windy/sunny/rainy/meh?? Melbourne.
<3
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English | Further Mathematics | Legal Studies | Psychology | VCD | HHD [43]

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blueycan

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Re: jeyda's journey through VCE ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
« Reply #82 on: October 07, 2021, 01:51:18 pm »
+5
Good news and bad news.

Good news first! I would say the GAT went pretty well. For the first essay, I wrote from the perspective of an alien learning about Earth's time systems and how humans view time as emotionally significant to them– tried to get creative and found that it was easier to write that way rather than regurgitating the information. Second essay basically turned into word vomit, but I ended up using all of the prompts in some way. I tried to incorporate some real-world references into there to strengthen my arguments (arguments were basically a repeat of the same thing– we need to stay true to our choices because that makes us happy and that is more important than the judgement we face for that). Lost all synonyms in my brain for choice in that 30 minutes.
Multiple choice questions had me opening the dictionary about 100 times. Hello, ostentation. I also thought (some) of the maths related questions were easier than last year's GAT– the bin day one was my favourite. The weight one can go into the trash, though.
Finished with about 25 minutes to go and had a bit of a nap, but being in the centre of the gym, I was a bit conscious of people walking past me every now and then  :o

Bad news! COVID exposure at my school. Still waiting for test results. Everyone has to isolate for 14 days. Only get two days back at school to see everyone and say my goodbyes. I'm not really feeling too hot at the moment. Lacking motivation to work or study. Been sleeping in until 20 minutes before class, rest of the day mostly on social media or doing lacklustre work. I'm seeing people at other schools doing all this cool stuff and I'm just grieving the loss of the last weeks of my high school experience. I hope I can kind of snap out of it soon. I have a psychology SAC after school today, and I don't know how it's gonna go. Further SAC tomorrow and I already know I'm gonna do shit. 20 days until English exam and I do not feel ready whatsoever. I really need to bounce back into my normal routine but I don't know to overcome this slump. I don't know how I did it for HHD last year– she seems like a different person.

++ If any AN friends in Year 12 want to be study buddies, or something like that, let me know !
Didn't want to start a pity party– just wanted to record this for future me to laugh about. Hope everyone's well.

« Last Edit: October 07, 2021, 02:09:36 pm by blueycan »
VCE 2021
English | Further Mathematics | Legal Studies | Psychology | VCD | HHD [43]

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Commercekid2050

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Re: jeyda's journey through VCE ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
« Reply #83 on: October 07, 2021, 06:26:21 pm »
+1
Hi,

I can understand it would be horrible to be back in lockdown.

Hope your psychology sac went well. And best of luck for your further sac, I also have my further sacp tomorrow. 
« Last Edit: October 07, 2021, 09:55:49 pm by Commercekid2050 »
Class of 2021-
English
Accounting
Economic
Further Math
Math Method

blueycan

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Re: jeyda's journey through VCE ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
« Reply #84 on: October 26, 2021, 12:58:25 am »
+7
36 HOURS UNTIL THE ENGLISH EXAM
Just a VERY quick update before I go to sleep so I can have something in here before my exams. After my last post, I managed to get out my funk, and have been pretty consistent with study these past ~12 days or so. English has been priority, along with Further, and then Psych– don't even get me started on Legal and VCD, because I haven't properly started  :D
I have papers and calendars and sticky notes on the wall in front of me, my ambience jazz + study with me video playing on split screen, and my hundreds of Officeworks dollars not so neatly organised under and around my desk.
The day after tomorrow kind of officially marks the beginning of the end– a bittersweet feeling, especially with the nature of how this year turned out. But, nevertheless, we must focus on the present moment!
I would say I'm slowly but surely feeling prepared. One more day of revision and I think I'll be somewhat good to go. My main goal was to not walk out of the examination room wishing I had done more, but I think that's an unrealistic expectation for anyone  :P I really hope the prompts for Extinction and The Crucible/Dressmaker and the media text bless me on Wednesday– I hope my efforts will be able to be shown off!!
I probably won't update my journal, until after my exams finish, which is the 10th of November. (maybe, who knows) But until then, I'll be cheering everyone on!
Good luck for exams, Class of 2021!
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English | Further Mathematics | Legal Studies | Psychology | VCD | HHD [43]

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ArtyDreams

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Re: jeyda's journey through VCE ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
« Reply #85 on: October 26, 2021, 09:02:38 am »
+2
All the best for exams blueycan! Hope they all go well, and a big congratulations for getting through the year! You should be very proud of yourself xx

blueycan

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Re: jeyda's journey through VCE ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
« Reply #86 on: November 21, 2021, 01:37:00 pm »
+11
year 12 ☑️

I'm finally done! As soon as 4:15 hit last Wednesday afternoon, and the invigilator took away my Legal Studies exam, my VCE experience was officially over. The exams I spent so much of my adolescence stressing over and preparing for, were over, and with that, came the end of my secondary schooling.
I think I had started this journal the afternoon after my Year 10 mid year English exam... it feels like Year 10 was 15 years ago, and that the first few posts of this journal should be archived as relics– little 15 year old me didn't know what was going to hit her in the next few months.

I still cannot believe that 2021 has come to a close– it hit me in the middle of Myer looking at the Christmas decorations that the year is so close to ending. While it would be just like any other Christmas break, this year, the red and gold lights are a scary reminder that I won't be going back to the comfort of my high school in late January, and that I have to grow up and go be a big girl now. It's definitely confronting to think that even without a proper goodbye, I have to leave and start my own journey, not surrounded by the people I grew up with in what will seem like a whole different world.
I think it hits me the most when I rediscover memories from the past few years – photos of us sitting on the wooden benches on the basketball courts, seeing my old Aloe Vera moisturiser at the Body Shop which I begged for in year 9, finding my old Biology notes, hearing songs we used to play at school events... it's weird to think that new it's all memories.

As much as I'd like to stay positive about my VCE experience, the past two years have been very rough. Even though life went on, and I was fortunate enough to not be too affected by COVID personally, I was mentally and emotionally so exhausted that it was really hard to find motivation. It sucked knowing that I had wasted time waiting for VCE so much that I didn't stay in the present, and then when 2020 hit, everything went to shambles and we weren't able to do the things that we hoped to do. Same with 2021– I had times where I was so tired that I would sit in the living room and cry to my Mum for hours about how hard it was, times where stress made me physically ill (thanks Hans Selye), times where I thought all my efforts were going to waste. And then as soon as I had thought that maybe things were looking brighter, we were back into the rhythm of locking down and opening up, and the days kept flying, and the school year was coming to close without a proper send-off. It's tempting to keep dwelling on the negative aspects of the past few years– we have been through a lot of bullshit. However, I believe it's important to look back and appreciate all the good moments we did have growing through secondary school. I was fortunate enough to have people that cared about me and that recognised my efforts, I was able to laugh and play around with my friends, and I was fortunate enough to be healthy throughout the bulk of the pandemic.

It's actually funny to look back and see that nothing has gone the way I wanted it to. From lockdowns, to subject changes, to changing what I wanted to do post Year 12, I think that these past two years have really been a big time of transformation. I think one major change that I've had to undergo this year was that I needed to break away from the constant desire to gain the approval and validation of others, and find that self-affirming validation for myself. Another is that I needed to keep a realistic mindset surrounding my goals for this year. I had to put my mental and physical health and wellbeing first, and that meant adjusting my expectations to doing my best instead of the best that someone else determined was acceptable of me. I did the best I could in my circumstances and I'm really freaking proud of myself for that.

Here are my thoughts about each of my exams!

27/10/2021 ENGLISH
Going in, I was really nervous. My first exam, the longest exam, (arguably) the hardest exam, and the exam I had the most regrets about studying for. I was lucky to be seated in my study centre rather than the gym, and I thought "at least my surroundings are a bit nicer than the stinky gym".
I completed the exam in opposite order, going from sections C-B-A. Section C was okay– I don't think I absolutely smashed the ball out of the park, but argument analysis was one of my strongest areas this year, so the exam component went somewhat well. I found the article to not be as great as what I expected– I did have a bit of a hard time finding arguments and omg I didn't use the second image, but I guess it's okay 😭 I think my favourite article that I studied for was VCAA 2012, and then the 2020 one was alright as well. I also gotta really thanks Whys for her argument analysis guide, that really really helped me do well this year, and if she's still selling it I highly recommend that future Year 12's check it out!!
Section B actually went way better than expected!
I really hope the prompts for Extinction and The Crucible/Dressmaker and the media text bless me on Wednesday
VCAA actually saved my life. A prompt about WOMEN???? GENDER???? THE TREATMENT OF WOMEN???? YOU MEAN ONE OF MY BEST STUDIED TOPICS???? I honestly think they gave us leniency with that one. But actually, a bunch of people chose the other topic– I opted for the one without the quote  :o This essay was probably the best comparative essay I've written all year. But don't tell my English teacher that I never finished The Dressmaker... I even studied it in Year 10 and didn't finish it then. Legend says that Jeyda will never know the proper ending to the text.
Section A was... okay. The prompts didn't really fit what I had studied for, but I managed to talk about Australia and mining and characters and all that jazz. I'm just disappointed that all my quotes that didn't relate went to waste!! Section A was a bit of a gamble, since I decided not to do Rear Window like everyone else and do Extinction, the text we did for creative. I chose Extinction because I felt like having the tangible play available for me at any time was easier for me to analyse it, and that Rear Window had so much going on that I didn't know what to focus on. Also, I studied Extinction last year, and I was already pretty familiar with it so it just seemed like the obvious choice. I hope this decision wasn't in vain 😳
Overall I would say the exam went better than expected. I was lowkey expecting to walk out crying but I came home happy with a slurpee in hand, so I would say – sort of a success!
For English my SAC scores stayed at about a 80-90%, which isn't the best tbh because it dropped my rank, but I'm hoping that my exam scores will even everything out and I can hopefully get around a 38-40.

29/10/2021 and 01/11/2021 FURTHER MATHS
I wish I could say that Further was my strong subject but sadly it is not. I did the most amount of practice exams out of all of my subjects for Further and it did pay off, but exam one did bring some unexpected questions that I only really figured out how to do AFTER the exam finished. Exam two was a different story– I felt like it was both difficult and long, and I don't think I did as well as I did on the first exam. Overall I think my performance was okay but definitely could have been better– I wasn't too upset about Further as I already know it's one of my bottom two, but I would have liked to do somewhat well. My SAC scores were alright, ranging from 75-90 throughout the year, so I don't think I'm ranked very highly but I'm sure it'll be fine... I'm predicting around a 30-33 fingers crossed.

01/11/2021 PSYCHOLOGY
I was really really freaking out for Psychology before the exam– I think I spent only around 4 days properly revising for the subject, and with that unfortunate timing only managed to complete a couple of practice exam. I was so focused on English for the most part that Psychology had completely slipped my mind. I spent a lot of time going over content to ensure everything was stuck in my brain, and felt really anxious because I thought I hadn't prepared enough. Psych was one of my best subjects throughout Year 11 and 12 and I felt like shit for not preparing enough, but come exam day, I guess my efforts throughout the year paid off. The exam went pretty smoothly, and I managed to answer everything including what I would consider a full 10 marker worth of writing at the end. Overall I'm really happy with how the exam went considering I was panicking the days leading up to it ! For this subject, without being too hasty I really want at least a 40, but my score could be anywhere from 38-low 40s.
++ before the exam had started I mentioned to my friend that I could really do with a benzodiazepine in that moment (content humour is how I cope) and my friend turned to me and said omg what was that again and I said oh it's an anti anxiety medication and guess what the 10 marker was about anxiety medication lmao

08/11/2021 VISUAL COMMUNICATION DESIGN
The VCD exam was originally meant to be my bludge (sorry Ms D) because I thought I would never get any higher than 25 for the subject, so when my indicative marks for the second part of my folio came out to be in the 80s, of course I was began to panic and regret my decision about putting off studying for this exam.
After days of practice questions, and teaching myself multiple drawing systems, I felt somewhat ready for the exam, but was prepared to still absolutely flunk it like I flunked my mid years. Come exam day however, it actually went better than I expected?? I was only aiming for around 50% tbh so my performance impressed me naturally. But I managed to answer every question and not bullshit my way through most of it, which was pretty good! Knowing the nature of the subject I'm not expecting a very high score at all, so I think my prediction of a 30 will do, but who knows it could be higher?

10/11/2021 LEGAL STUDIES
Legal did disappoint me. I mean, for someone who slaved over Legal for two years, managed to get an award for Legal, made my whole personality about Legal, wants to work in law, e.t.c, you would have thought I'd do better on this exam.
Studying for this exam did somewhat resemble psych, with a lot of stressed revision and emails to my legal teachers, but as I was going into it I didn't have the same confidence as I had for psych.
The exam was like 90% Unit 4 AOS 2, which obviously had to be my weakest area, and almost all of the reforms/case studies I had prepared for weren't in the exam. I didn't really get to finish a couple of questions but I did put something down for everything. It didn't go absolutely horrible but definitely worse than I would have liked, you know? This exam was my last, but walking out, I didn't have that immediate feeling of relief– I felt like it was an awkward and half-finished attempt at a last exam. Our teacher saying "Yep good exam. I thought it was a good exam. Good." as we walked out didn't really help either... thanks sir. Nonetheless I was happy to be done and have Legal done and dusted!
I managed to rank one throughout the year so I do have some hope for *at least* a 41 or 42.... but I honestly don't know. I guess we'll have to wait and see??

Now with all my exams finished (they've actually been finished for a while... ha... sorry) it's time to move on, I guess?
I actually wrote this post in two seperate parts and I'm happy to say that in the middle of writing I was offered a job!!! I'm not unemployed anymore!!! So my holidays so far have looked very much like a stress-fest over jobs and trying to get my RSA.
I also have been watching a LOT of YouTube, not very good as I've been ignoring the growing pile of books waiting for me to read them. I also want to start working out properly again and taking care of myself more– I came down with a bit of a cold recently which I think was just my body responding to all the stress I've been under (good ol' GAS model, what can you do) so now I'm just tryna heal and be normal again after what feels like a 3 month long marathon.
With my VTAC preferences I have finalised them now for Bachelor of Arts at Unimelb to be my first preference– after a LOT of thought, consideration and consultation I think that's the best option for me and hopefully my efforts will pay off to get me a spot!
I will update again when ATARs release, and maybe for offers but I'm not too sure yet.
All I can say for now is THANK YOU for reading this journal, even if this is the first post you've read or you've been following since the beginning. I'm very grateful for all the kind words and support friends on AN have given me and it's honestly been such a big motivation for me throughout the year. I'm happy to end the school year on a good note, and I*really*hope that next year is much better for everyone! (:

Jeyda <3
« Last Edit: November 21, 2021, 01:41:23 pm by blueycan »
VCE 2021
English | Further Mathematics | Legal Studies | Psychology | VCD | HHD [43]

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