Hilary's - 13 weeks til exams - Journey

[not.yet.a.nerd]

Lots of atar notes users will be at Monash uni open day tomorrow I reckon! See you there 

Although probably not in real life as we don't know each other haha 😆

Your vce journal is super detailed and I'm enjoying reading it- keep it up!

[Yertle the Turtle]

snip

Great job on your SAC, sounds awesome! I was pretty upset that I couldn't get to Monash Open Day, hope it was good for you though! Good luck for the rest of the year, and I really love reading your journal entries Keep it up!

[hiyo]

*2018 MONASH OPEN DAY*

After spending my entire day at Monash and preparing for my upcoming SAC, I didn't have any energy left to write my personal experience at Monash on Sunday. Since I'm pretty much stressing over spesh homework again, I told myself this would be a good time to take a break and make a post about it before I forget everything.

SO HOW WAS IT?
Well, there's always the good and the bad, but in my honest opinion, the bad outweighs the good.

Upon entering year 12, I had a goal. I knew I needed to work hard for it, I knew I wanted to go to Monash for its Engineering course, I knew what I wanted to do and I knew I needed a 91 ATAR or less with SEAS in order to achieve it. What I thought I knew and wanted more or less vanished once I left Monash, Clayton, the very UniI had my eyes fixed onto since the very beginning of my VCE journey.

I came to Monash Open Day with a group of friends, each and everyone interested in a different course - which meant we'd have to visit almost every faculty and that meant a lot of walking. I was so glad that there were student volunteers from Monash everywhere to help guide us vce kids. If it weren't for them, I don't think I would've made it home. I didn't mind travelling there since I know for a fact that if I do decide to go to Monash, I would definitely move out to some areas closer to it. I can't imagine commuting 2 hours or more to Monash everyday, it'd be too much.
My first impression of the Clayton campus was 'wow'. Its buildings are huge, tall, beautifully built and don't even get me started on the new built building with wooden stairs (aka: the education building on the day). I saw myself studying in it, sitting in one of its spaces, studying for my exams. It was spectacular, it seemed like an achievable dream, but it was short lived. The education building was the only one I went into, besides the engineering building, residencies and almost half of the available tent and who would have thought that it would take 4 hours to travel between these. I liked the campus, I liked the freebies, the free doughnuts, the kind people, but that's about it.

I got to the Engineering area, hoping I could get some information out of the course I specifically wanted to do just to confirm that the course is really what I think it is for the final time. To my surprise, it wasn't. Upon getting my questions answered, I saw my goal disappearing in front of me and for the first time since forever, my future didn't look very clear. It wasn't what I was expecting and I KNEW I didn't want to do what I thought I wanted to for those 2 years. I began to feel restless and suffocated because I didn't a goal anymore. I questioned myself with questions that I should've asked myself earlier, one of which was 'Do I want to do it because I like it as a hobby? or Do I want to do it because I can see myself pursuing it as a career?' My friends were happy with the information they were given regarding their courses, it looked like they're on a very good track. I, on the other hand, was left confused and lost.

However, residencies ended the day for me. I was taken on tours to see what a room with no wash basin and bathroom look like and a room with pretty much everything including bathroom and wash basin in them. Residential village rooms were old, small and its building or hall had a very tight layout. I think it depends on different halls, but the one I went into, it was sad. I was expecting it so I guess it's okay. I strongly believe some people that went on that tour with me felt the same way. On the other hand, Logan Hall and similar halls with studio apartments was beautiful. If I was to live on campus, I would definitely want to live there despite its cost. It held the perfect title for 'privacy'. I would want to live there.

Anyways, I didn't realise how much I miss the busy city until I returned to Melbourne Central - probably an indication of how I'm more suited for a city life - and how absolutely tired/drained I was after Monash Open Day. I really thought Monash and Engineering was what I wanted, but now I'm not so sure. Open Day has brought me back to square one, now I didn't know what I wanted to do or what I was interested in doing, I just know that I have roughly 2 months to lock in my preferences. This brings me to my next target, Melb Uni - Bachelor of Science, probably one of the most popular bachelors for people that are unsure of what they want to do.
 > P.S: No regret that I went to Open Day, but I may have lost some motivation because of it.

*I'm so tired. 12AM is sleep time ~ zzz*

Your vce journal is super detailed and I'm enjoying reading it- keep it up!

Thank you so much! I sometimes thought my journals are way to long too long for anyone to read, but I'm glad you're enjoying it! And who knows, we might have met .

Great job on your SAC, sounds awesome! I was pretty upset that I couldn't get to Monash Open Day, hope it was good for you though! Good luck for the rest of the year, and I really love reading your journal entries Keep it up!

You're too kind  Good luck to you too! I've read your journal too ! Just yet to caught up or comment haha.

[Joseph41]

Hey! Interesting that the open day had that effect on you. I can definitely see how that would be unsettling, but I really recommend, if possible, seeing this as progress rather than taking a step back. After all, you're now one step closer to finding the right path for you!

P.S. I wouldn't discount Engineering at Monash entirely. But I hope the UoM open day is more pleasing for you.

[hiyo]

Hey! Interesting that the open day had that effect on you. I can definitely see how that would be unsettling, but I really recommend, if possible, seeing this as progress rather than taking a step back. After all, you're now one step closer to finding the right path for you!

P.S. I wouldn't discount Engineering at Monash entirely. But I hope the UoM open day is more pleasing for you.

I hope UniMelb open day will help me decide my preferences, or at least give me a clearer view of my future than right now. I didn't completely cross off engineering at monash, or engineering at all because I'm still unsure of whether engineering is right for me. One of the things I didn't include in my open day experience was that I met an engineering student, currently in his final years, at Monash. He specifically told me that his experience at Open Day was the same a few years back, but only when he started the course did he find it fun and interesting. I still have this lingering feeling over engineering, but I definitely need to see my other options. The Clayton campus is no doubt beautiful and alluring, but I still need more reasons to choose it. Finally, I didn't regret going Monash Open Day at all because, as you said, it's one step closer to finding the right path for me.

I WISHED i collected more freebies though  .

[hiyo]

TERM 3 WEEK 4 - [ FRIDAY ] - 81 DAYS LEFT TIL EXAMS

This week has been a very busy week, and so will next week. With the realisation that I won't have the weekend to myself, I have tried to finish all my homework during the week, but it's not going so well. It seems like I can't utilise my time when I'm at home. I nap, I eat, I watch youtube, get in calls with friends and end up only finishing 2 subjects for homework. Bleh 

Also got my methods SAC back. I'm disappointed, 44/50  . It's not bad, but I lost 2 marks over 2 multiple choice questions which should've been free. I'm very salty and I can't help but think I would've gotten 46/50, which brings me over 90%, if I didn't get those two wrong. Overall, our high-achievers got 48-49/50 whilst the poor performing students got around 28/50. However, in a small cohort of about 30 students, I am currently in the top 10, probably rank 9 or 10 and now I'm questioning whether I'll be able to get a 40+ SS for Methods at all.

I'm sad. I barely do any work in class for I.T and I'm rank 2. I do so much work for methods and couldn't get a 90. I feel burnout.

*This post is short because I just want to complain about methods, hmph.*

TL;DR: sad because I didn't get what I want for methods.

[PhoenixxFire]

It seems like I can't utilise my time when I'm at home. I nap, I eat, I watch youtube, get in calls with friends and end up only finishing 2 subjects for homework. Bleh

Totally recommend studying at a library or at school if you’re allowed to stay after school. I almost never study at home because I just cannot concentrate. If you’re in an environment that you associate with studying then you’ll probably focus better - it’s also easier when you can’t go check the fridge again just in case food has materialised haha - also some libraries don’t allow food and some have (supposedly) silent areas which will reduce the distractions

[hiyo]

TERM 3 WEEK 5 - [ FRIDAY ISH ] - 75 DAYS LEFT UNTIL EXAMS

LAST WEEK : I wrote this but never got the chance to publish it.
It had been a very busy week. Ever since I worked those two 6+ hour shifts on the weekends, I became a lost soul in the midst of this journey to acquire a 90+ atar.

Joke jokeee, I’m doing fine and ever since I have changed my habit to sleep early, i never felt better. I must keep this journal short, all the assessments are catching up to me. Term 3 is a very tricky term I suppose.

I had a physics SAC and it was ‘ok’. I walked out of it feeling ‘okay, maybe 60s’ and then my friends started discussing the answers and I was like ‘ah shit, please god give me one more chance on this subject’. It took our teacher 2 days to mark all our sacs, and prior to getting our marks back, he was like ‘your marks are SUBJECT TO CHANGE’ so I assumed that my mark would get bumped up even if I failed BUT NOOOOO, I think they’re going down. I received a 77%, which I was very happy about ( since i’ve been praying for second chances ), but not very happy when he said scores are gonna change.

Other than that, nothing new or exciting, just general spesh homework that kills me from all directions and the more work i do the more i get stuck like i just can’t. Cambridge Maths Textbook gives you a grade 2 example, then goes from 0 to 100000 in their questions or maybe i’m just dumb.

TERM 3 WEEK 6 - [ FRIDAY ] - 68 DAYS LEFT UNTIL EXAMS

Today is supposedly the last day to work on my final part of my i.t sat and in all honesty, I don’t think I’ll get anywhere near 90% for this SAT. Informatics for me is not excruciating or hard in any way, the only ‘hard’ thing about it is management. This subject requires work every day, but I hate juggling homework on the laptop and the books at the same time. It’s so tiring. HOWEVER, I FINISHED THE DAMN SAT AND I’M FREEEE. Omg, I legit hate informatics so much, I just want to cry whenever the deadline comes.

Anyways to summarise up the past 2 weeks.

   > Basically finished my entire course for physics, we’re now preparing to do some investigation project, which is gonna stress me out even more.

   > We’re going through probability so fast, I don’t understand why. I thought probability is probably the chapter that we would have to spend the majority of our time on, not just spend 45 minutes on it. But it’s ok, I’m doing alright.

   > Spesh: my teacher skips so much chapters holyyyyyyy. I was ahead with spesh and it was my pride, but now i’m like 3 chapters behind… I cry.

   > I.T: I hate i.t.

   > English: I hate English too

   >Tutoring: I love my tutors, I feel like they play such a big role in my year 12 journey and I feel like I should write a bigger paragraph to thank them at the end of the year. They may not know it, but beyond everyone that I have met at parties or social gathering, they are my favourites.

   > I was supposed to work today, but I caught a flu and end up bedridden for the past couple of days. I missed out on school and surprisingly, not much work to catch up onto.

   > I WENT TO MELB OPEN DAY. I collected much more freebies at Melbourne than I did at Monash. Melbourne Uni was easier to familiarise, perhaps it was because it was my 4th time at The University of Melbourne, but I instantly recognises part of the campus once I stepped my foot on it. Melbourne’s location is way more convenient, more prestige and its model is also different. However, no matter how much I try to find my way around it, I still see myself studying at Monash more. I liked Monash more, I liked its vibe, I liked its buildings, I liked the idea of studying there, belonging there. It was weird because if I wanted to study medicine, I would definitely want to be at Melbourne, but do I really want to study medicine? Do I want to go to medical school? Can I go to medical school? Am I ready to commit myself to medicine? Is medicine for me?

> Almost one month left until VTAC applications must be submitted, I have one month to list all my preferences down and get my paperwork right. At the moment, Monash is still at the top of my list. 

P.S: Today I called in sick so I obviously didn’t have to go to work. In a home with usually 6-7 people has now become 3. I suddenly realised my selfish desire of wanting to live alone, how naive was I for wanting to move out and being independent when it would mean abandoning my mother every night in this lonely house.

Totally recommend studying at a library or at school if you’re allowed to stay after school. I almost never study at home because I just cannot concentrate. If you’re in an environment that you associate with studying then you’ll probably focus better - it’s also easier when you can’t go check the fridge again just in case food has materialised haha - also some libraries don’t allow food and some have (supposedly) silent areas which will reduce the distractions

This I cannot agree more, but given my circumstances, going to a library on a weekday would do me more harm than good. The closest library to my house is about an hour an a half away. My family is busy and therefore cannot pick me up at any given time and if even if I decide to go to the library on a weekday, I would have to leave before the sun sets or else, I'll get kidnapped.
ALSO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY!!

[hiyo]

TERM 3 WEEK 7 - [ SUNDAY] - 66 DAYS LEFT UNTIL EXAMS

Omg, I'm on the verge of crying. What have I been doing this weekend? I have 3 chapters of spesh to complete, 2 practice exams for physics and a practical investigation to write. One entire chapter on probabilities for methods + 2 practice exams and a dozen of english practice essays to hand in. I haven't done anything, I haven't started, I haven't touch them, I haven't look at them. I could probably finish spesh tomorrow if I only do half the amount of questions, but practice is perfect and I would feel so guilty doing that. I would feel guilty if I choose the beauty sleep over the unfinished homework tonight, but why am I so bad at time management. 66 days left until exams and I've written no practice essays for english or start any practice exams for spesh and I've only done one practice exam for methods. Oh my dream to study at Monash or Melbourne, my dream to acquire a 90 ATAR, will they ever come true?

[kevdog007]

I feel your pain.
Spesh killed me when I was in year 12. I averaged like 50-60% on every sac, but still managed a 30 raw (40+ scaled).
If you say you're bad at time management, then what would that make me? Lol
Oddly enough, my cousin and brother are both doing engineering (hons) and medicine at Monash respectively (I'm doing biomedical science at Melb uni, looking to do doctor in medicine later) and I can tell you this, I die everytime I go to lecture. The content is hard as hell, definitely can't say I struggled a lot in high school, but if you don't pick up the slack this year then, to cut it short, you should probably not consider doing an undergrad that leads to medicine.
However, judging by your score, I can definitely see a potential 90+ atar, just don't give up!

[hiyo]

I feel your pain.
Spesh killed me when I was in year 12. I averaged like 50-60% on every sac, but still managed a 30 raw (40+ scaled).
If you say you're bad at time management, then what would that make me? Lol
Oddly enough, my cousin and brother are both doing engineering (hons) and medicine at Monash respectively (I'm doing biomedical science at Melb uni, looking to do doctor in medicine later) and I can tell you this, I die everytime I go to lecture. The content is hard as hell, definitely can't say I struggled a lot in high school, but if you don't pick up the slack this year then, to cut it short, you should probably not consider doing an undergrad that leads to medicine.
However, judging by your score, I can definitely see a potential 90+ atar, just don't give up!

First of all, thank you for being the first person to tell me not to walk on the medicine path, it makes my view a little clearer. People that I've met that are looking to follow a medicine pathway don't usually tell me about how they're doing in their chosen field. In fact, a first year told me she likes it (biomed) and she's doing particularly fine despite barely making it into her course. I guess I was, no, I am inspired and influenced by the people around me and part of me may have just wanted to follow their footsteps. Thank you for believing in my potential to get a 90+ atar, it actually means so so so much to me. There's only 2 months left so I'll definitely give myself a final push, thank you. Also, I believe my spesh sacs are easier than the other cohorts, so I can't really use it to compare , but that's one of the reasons why I'm doing so much work for it, for the end of year exam. I just hope hard work pays off.

[Bri MT]

When you're stressed about time it's very easy to focus on the things that you haven't done rather than what you have. You've probably completed more than you realise,  and the standards you're setting yourself are pretty high.

Trying to complete that many things in one weekend sounds overwhelming, try not to beat yourself up if it takes you multiple weeks to get through that.

Study guilt can be powerful but it's weakened by not only achieving goals, but also sleep, healthy diet and exercise.

If you're not kind to yourself you increase the chance of burning out - please try to remember that you are working hard and that breaks can be beneficial.

[kevdog007]

First of all, thank you for being the first person to tell me not to walk on the medicine path, it makes my view a little clearer. People that I've met that are looking to follow a medicine pathway don't usually tell me about how they're doing in their chosen field. In fact, a first year told me she likes it (biomed) and she's doing particularly fine despite barely making it into her course. I guess I was, no, I am inspired and influenced by the people around me and part of me may have just wanted to follow their footsteps. Thank you for believing in my potential to get a 90+ atar, it actually means so so so much to me. There's only 2 months left so I'll definitely give myself a final push, thank you. Also, I believe my spesh sacs are easier than the other cohorts, so I can't really use it to compare , but that's one of the reasons why I'm doing so much work for it, for the end of year exam. I just hope hard work pays off.

Sorry about what I wrote, you probably misconstrued my text.
I never told you to not follow a medicine pathway, I'm just merely stating that if you wish to study medicine in uni (especially Monash or Melb U), you need to pick up your game, because science at uni is nothing like VCE science. I definitely sound a bit hypocritical with my spesh scores being quite low, but for biomedicine you don't really need maths, so I spent more time on chemistry and biology (with both being 45+ SS). Not that you're not doing well, I can definitely read that you're trying your best, but if you have a negative attitude towards your chosen subject, then that may impact your results.

[hiyo]

When you're stressed about time it's very easy to focus on the things that you haven't done rather than what you have. You've probably completed more than you realise,  and the standards you're setting yourself are pretty high.

If you're not kind to yourself you increase the chance of burning out - please try to remember that you are working hard and that breaks can be beneficial.

Yep, I figured being behind on homework isn't that big of a deal so I stopped stressing last night and went to bed. Instead, I was catching up on homework during lunch and pretty much decided to leave the practice exams out until I finished the entire course. I feel like a better person that way  .

Sorry about what I wrote, you probably misconstrued my text.
I never told you to not follow a medicine pathway, I'm just merely stating that if you wish to study medicine in uni (especially Monash or Melb U), you need to pick up your game, because science at uni is nothing like VCE science. I definitely sound a bit hypocritical with my spesh scores being quite low, but for biomedicine you don't really need maths, so I spent more time on chemistry and biology (with both being 45+ SS). Not that you're not doing well, I can definitely read that you're trying your best, but if you have a negative attitude towards your chosen subject, then that may impact your results.

Yes, yes. I'll pick up my games.
 

Alright since my last post got removed, I'll repeat what I said, but with less of an attitude lol

Do your homework. Yes, VCE is hard, stressful, emotional etc. but if you're not prepared enough (as in not even looking at your homework), then you're really digging your own grave.
Your scores are definitely good and, as kevdog007 mentioned, I too believe in you getting a 90+ atar, but right now I think you're at a mentality in which is 100% not recommended at uni.

That's all I have to say. Good luck with your journey
PM me if you have any inquiries.

haha what did you say? I think I may have exaggerated a little in my entries, but I'm up to date in every subject except for spesh (1 chapter behind now). The practice exams that I mentioned are actually work my tutors or my teacher (english) recommend I do, they're not really expected to be done by tomorrow or anything so I stopped stressing once I realised it. Also, I'm not that emotional or stressed out as when I first started year 12, I'm much better now thanks to the people I surround myself with. 

Thank you for believing in me  .

[userrrname]

Hey so the thing with homework is, essentially it's just teachers trying to help consoldiate your knowledge of the content. I feel like people saying you have to do your homework or else you're not a "very capable student", are being dramatic. I consider myself a pretty hard working student (?), however the majority of my homework is done the night or even period before it's due. I do it to please my teachers. Why? Well because I spend my own time trying to learn how I want to learn and how I understand. I would much rather use up my valuable hours after school to consoldiate my knowledge of topics in my own ways, that ensure I actually learn. I hate filling homework out just so the teacher can say good job. Yeah, biomedicine, medicine and engineering are competitive courses to get in but I honestly doubt any student out there completely has their shit together. We're all fallible humans, and to assume that students studying medicine are somewhat superior and just perfect is unrealistic. Everyone stresses, everyone panics and everyone gets anxious and we may feel we're a little behind. It proves that you actually care. Just keep working hard because we're nearly there!! These two months seem never ending but trust it it'll be November before we know it! Good luck