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March 29, 2024, 04:26:24 am

Author Topic: english, persuasive speech: organ donation  (Read 3857 times)

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bigosandos

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english, persuasive speech: organ donation
« on: November 12, 2021, 06:31:31 pm »
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thanks so much for any feedback :)

audience: year 10-12 students

At any one-time 14000 Australians are on a list, given a number, a ranking, for the value of their lives. Every year more than 1300 of those people die. And every year all of those lives could have been saved, all of those people given a second chance, at no cost of your own. All you have to do is tick a box, become an organ donor, and save a life.

Hi, my name is Andi and I believe in selfless acts that save lives, that is why I chose to tick the box to save a life and become an organ donor.
I’m sure all of you here today all very aware of what organ donation is, but how many of us have actually taken the time to register as one? I want you to raise your hand if you agree with the kind and valuable process of organ donation… the large majority of you, okay, now I want you to keep your hand raised if you know if you are a registered organ donor. Wow. Big difference right.

Organ donation is a process performed either while you’re alive or after you’ve been declared deceased. Most commonly, living donations are only for kidneys, of which you only actually need one of to function. Now, you may be thinking, why on earth would I, while I’m still alive, donate my kidney? And that completely fair, living donation is very daunting and being an organ donor doesn’t mean you’ll have to donate while alive, it’s one of the many options you can opt in or out of. Not only that, but when you register as an organ donor you can choose which organs you want to donate, and you can opt out at any time you feel necessary… but I assure you, registering as an organ donor is the best decision you will make.
Even if you are choosing to only donate after death, you can still save so many people’s lives. Besides, no matter your belief system regarding the afterlife, it’s not like you’re really using your organs after you pass away. Some religions, such as Hinduism, even encourage organ donation because it is one of the purest acts of selflessness one can commit themselves too. You’re giving another human being a second chance at life. Why not?

Earlier this year my uncle passed away while on the waiting list for an intestinal transplant. He had developed something called short bowel syndrome; a disease known for the debilitating constraint it has on those affected. It was excruciatingly painful for him. My uncle was constrained to a hospital bed for almost the entire time he was there… with one tube in his veins and another stuck through his nose and down his throat just so he could get the nutrients he needed. Half of which wasn’t properly digested.

He was put on that waiting list… and he never got off it.

After having my uncle pass away on that waiting list it is heart wrenchingly sad, and quite frankly demoralising to see so many of you who WOULD donate, so many of you who COULD be the perfect match for someone who NEEDS an organ, not register. And why? Because you didn’t know you could? Because you didn’t know how? Or maybe because you just didn’t think about it? I’m telling you now to think about it.

How would you feel if that was you? Stuck, practically immovable, filled with grief, angst, and sorrow. A tube stuffed down through your throat into your stomach because it can’t function on its own. Trapped in a torturous loop of persistent and pernicious pain. Unable to live the life you were once capable of, the life you deserve, all because there aren’t enough organ donors available.
… it could be you. Statistically speaking, it could be you, 5 in every 100 people will need either dialysis or an organ transplant to keep them alive. That means at least 6 people in your grade are going to be in that situation.
What one of them is you? …Wouldn’t you hope the people sitting around you here today would help you? Wouldn’t you hope that out of the roughly 400 Australians that die every day, someone would help you.
You would? …Then why aren’t you doing what you can to save those people’s lives? Why are you not ticking the box and becoming an organ donor today?

The organs you’ll donate will be used for greater purposes than they would sitting in the ground or burnt and tossed in the ocean. They will be saving people’s lives; they could be saving your life.

As Sally Kotch said, “Great opportunities seldom come, but small ones surround us every day” and THIS is one of the great ones.

Australians can register as an organ donor the day they turn 16, It takes one minute, go online, search for donate life registration and register TODAY. As of last year, one thousand-two-hundred-and-seventy-two lives were saved because people chose to tick that box.

So, I ask you again, will you become an organ donor? Will you tick the box and save a life?

caffinatedloz

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Re: english, persuasive speech: organ donation
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2021, 01:58:03 pm »
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Hi! I did VCE literature but I was also a very keen debater through school so I hope my feedback is helpful. I am so sorry to hear about your Uncle; your passion and connection to this topic is very clear in your speech.


At any one-time 14000 Australians are on a list, given a number, a ranking, for the value of their lives. Every year more than 1300 of those people die. And every year all of those lives could have been saved, all of those people given a second chance, at no cost of your own to any of us as individuals? (the grammar here just felt a little clunky). All you have to do is tick a box, become an organ donor, and save a life.

Hi, my name is Andi and I believe in selfless acts that save lives, that is why I chose to tick the box to save a life and become an organ donor.
I’m sure all of you here today all very aware of what organ donation is, but how many of us have actually taken the time to register as one? I want you to raise your hand if you agree with the kind and valuable process of organ donation… the large majority of you, okay, now I want you to keep your hand raised if you know if you are a registered organ donor. Wow. Big difference right.

Organ donation is a process performed either while you’re alive or after you’ve been declared deceased. Most commonly, living donations are only for kidneys, of which you only actually need one of to function. Now, you may be thinking, why on earth would I, while I’m still alive, donate my kidney? And that completely fair valid. Living donation is very daunting. Being an organ donor doesn’t mean you’ll have to donate while alive; it's (perhaps remove the contraction to make the speech slightly more formal?)just one of the many options you can opt in or out of. Not only that, but when you register as an organ donor you can choose which organs you want to donate . Most importantly, you can opt out at any time you feel necessary… but I assure you, registering as an organ donor is the best decision you will make.

Even if you are choosing to only donate after death, you can still save so many people’s lives. (Include a statistic about how many lives a single person's organ donation can save?) Besides, no matter your belief system regarding the afterlife, it’s not like you’re really using you don't? (something slightly more formal here perhaps?) your organs after you pass away. Some religions, such as Hinduism, even encourage organ donation because it is one of the purest acts of selflessness one can commit themselves too. You’re giving another human being a second chance at life. Why not?

Earlier this year my uncle passed away while on the waiting list for an intestinal transplant. He had developed something called short bowel syndrome; a disease known for the debilitating constraint (is there a better word you could use here? maybe even just effect? it has on those affected (afflicted?). It was excruciatingly painful for him. My uncle was constrained to a hospital bed for almost the entire time he was there… with one tube in his veins and another stuck through his nose and down his throat just so he could get the nutrients he needed. Half of which wasn’t properly digested.

He was put on that waiting list… and he never got off it. (You could repeat some of your introduction here to strengthen this point? The idea that the value of his life was ranked.)

After having my uncle pass away on that waiting list it is heart wrenchingly sad, and quite frankly demoralising, to see so many of you who WOULD donate, so many of you who COULD be the perfect match for someone who NEEDS an organ, not register. And why? Because you didn’t know you could? Because you didn’t know how? Or maybe because you just didn’t think about it? I’m telling you now to think about it.

How would you feel if that was you? Stuck, practically immovable (chained by grief, angst and sorrow?), filled with grief, angst, and sorrow. A tube stuffed down through your throat into your stomach because it can’t function on its own. Trapped in a torturous loop of persistent and pernicious pain. Unable to live the life you were once capable of, the life you deserve, all because there aren’t enough organ donors available.
… it could be you. Statistically speaking, it couldI don't know how many people are in your audience, but if it's a class of 20 people you could say. Likely it will be one of you, one of us? Really hammer that home.) be you, 5 in every 100 people will need either dialysis or an organ transplant to keep them alive. That means at least (approximately?) 6 people in your grade are going to be in that situation.

What one of them is you? …Wouldn’t you hope the people sitting around you here today would help you? Wouldn’t you hope that out of the roughly 400 Australians that die every day, someone would help you. selflessly choose to give you a second chance at life?
You would? …Then why aren’t you doing what you can to save those people’s lives? Why are you not ticking the box and becoming an organ donor today?

The organs you’ll donate will be used for greater purposes than they would sitting in the ground or burnt and tossed in the ocean. They will be saving people’s lives; they could be saving your life.

As Sally Kotch said, “Great opportunities seldom come, but small ones surround us every day” and THIS is one of the great ones. (Really impactful here. Make sure you give a long pause to allow this point to really sink in! I love it!)

Australians can register as an organ donor the day they turn 16, It takes one minute, go online, search for donate life registration and register TODAY. As of last year, one thousand-two-hundred-and-seventy-two lives were saved because people chose to tick that box. (Could this call to action be strengthened by encouraging your audience to let their family know they want their organs donated and suggesting they encourage others to also sign up?

So, I ask you again, will you become an organ donor? Will you tick the box and save a life?


These are all just suggestions so take whatever you like and ignore the rest. Best of luck!

bigosandos

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Re: english, persuasive speech: organ donation
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2021, 08:52:21 pm »
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Hi! I did VCE literature but I was also a very keen debater through school so I hope my feedback is helpful. I am so sorry to hear about your Uncle; your passion and connection to this topic is very clear in your speech.

These are all just suggestions so take whatever you like and ignore the rest. Best of luck!

thank you so much!!! this is so helpful!!!!