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Author Topic: a journey on the yellow brick road  (Read 33602 times)

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ArtyDreams

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Re: a journey on the yellow brick road
« Reply #90 on: June 11, 2020, 04:53:56 pm »
+12
A Small Rant ~

Just wanted to pop in today with a mini rant because I’m just feeling so frustrated and bored.

I’m not finding school interesting at all. The pace we’re moving at is so slow, and makes me feel so disengaged. I try go ahead in my subjects, and then I find myself sitting in class, bored out of my mind. No one around me studies much, making me feel even less motivated.

At the same time, because I don’t have much work to do, I feel like I’m not studying enough. Like, I literally do 1 hour of study at night. Its not that I even procrastinate, it just feels like I’m doing everything with no purpose. And its not like I start anything else either, I don’t actually do much else besides studying. Its Year 12, yet I feel like its not, as it doesn’t feel ‘busy.’ Not to mention, I’m feeling so lonely :(

Also in other terms (not as negative ahah) I’m feeling bored because there was non-academic things I was meant to be doing, but got cancelled because of COVID. I was meant to tutor younger year levels after school this year for maths, and I’m so disappointed I can’t anymore. I absolutely love teaching and helping people, and I actually can’t wait until school finishes so I can finally get a job in tutoring. At the moment, helping my friends with the occasional methods problems will just have to do.

Anyway, thats my mini rant over. I’ve got 2 more SACs this Term and then UNIT 3 is OVER!! Like how crazy is that?? It went by quite quickly actually and was nothing like I would have ever imagined. Believe it or not, I’m actually excited for the hustle and hectic nature of Unit 4!

Also I feel like the weekend just came and its nearly here again (def not complaining though!) - hope everyone has a nice evening :)

Arty x

« Last Edit: June 11, 2020, 04:55:43 pm by ArtyDreams »

ashmi

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Re: a journey on the yellow brick road
« Reply #91 on: June 11, 2020, 07:13:27 pm »
+5
Hey Arty! ;D

So glad to see another update ;D (Oh boy you wouldn't believe how loudly I just screamed)
I do agree with you on the slow pace of things here and there, especially with the new study design changes where there is not much to do. Don't worry, it's alright to feel demotivated every once in a while and there is definitely not a set restriction of how much you should be studying in a day (just whatever works for you and you feel comfortable with :D). It's a bit of a weird time because I sort of feel the same way? Like, it doesn't feel busy enough where I'm constantly having to run around? (We need to go out together for food or something sometime in the future. When the Physics lecture starts again you must come with me muhaha).

(Can I just also add, tutoring people has such a rewarding feeling). I think we are all so ready for Covid to be over and get on with our lives again. I would also love to see your art stall when it gets back in business too

Two more SACs?! That's such good news and good luck for them! I know you will smash it as always and do an amazing job Arty 8). Have a good day tomorrow and enjoy your weekend :)

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Re: a journey on the yellow brick road
« Reply #92 on: June 26, 2020, 04:59:00 pm »
+8
Update - END OF UNIT 3

Anddddddddd Unit 3 is officially OVER! (Apart from one SAC postponed to next term but ah well). It’s been the strangest term ever, but kind of good at the same time? I think because of the home learning period, I don’t feel as tired which means: lots of work must get done these holidays!!
Unit 3 has gone okay overall. Its honestly crazy to think that we are essentially half way through year 12 - only one full term and bit to go! Honestly kind of scary tbh. I had one very dodgy SAC score this term, but all the rest were above 80 so I’m happy!

Also this will probably be a very long post so enjoy!

Subject Recaps

Chemistry:
Well………achieved a very, very dodgy score for the AOS1 SAC. Luckily, everyone else did bad, but still. I somewhat redeemed myself on the second one - still wasn’t the best but I’m still happy and relieved! I really want to pick up my game for this subject because I do enjoy it so much and I’m hoping to pursue it to a great level in the future. I’m so excited for next semester when we do O-Chem and Food Chem, as it seems super interesting and relevant! Right now we’re working on our Investigation, but I’m looking to get ahead on at least the next AOS on the holidays. I feel like most of Chem is me teaching myself, and just consolidating my learning in class. My teacher hasn’t noticed this yet, but I do struggle to understand concepts in class, but I do love teaching myself things.

Physics:
I’m enjoying this subject a lot too! Some concepts are a bit of a drag, but I’ve had a good run with Physics this Unit. Imo our SACs were fairly easy, but I did super well on them so I’m happy. There’s not many girls in my Year Level doing Physics, making me want to try harder to make my teacher proud. I’m excited yet terrified about what’s to come with this subject.

Specialist:
Honestly felt like dropping this for Further at the end of last year, but I’m SO glad I kept it!! I’m really not exceptional at this subject or anything, but it has made so much sense to me this year compared to last year. Most of ½ feels so irrelevant! I feel like spec has a lot of concepts relevant to real life, so it does excite me. Next terms spec has a big physics flavour – not sure if I like that or not but we’ll see. Also, I did fairly decently on my Application Task! I managed to get an 80 which is a good score according to my teacher, and although not the highest in the class, I’m hoping it’s a good rank. The good thing is though, I essentially lost all the marks I did on the open-ended bit on the SAC. Makes me feel okay as I managed to get all the ‘exam style,’ questions right 

English:
Yeah, let’s not go into detail. This subject is such a bore and my scores have been reflecting it – mid 80s. My TR SAC is first week back, and I have so, so much work to do before then! I do have high hopes for that and the comparative though, as they were my strongest last year. English is boringgggggg but I really need to focus more in class next term and gte more done.

Art:
We all good. Need to knock off a lot of my folio on the holidays. I worked on my last one for 6 months and now I have 2 months to finish this one. Save me!

Study Score Goals
As inspired by all the other awesome journey journals, here are some study score goals and dreams! They haven’t changed tooooo much from the start of the year.

Reasonable Goals:
Chem: 38
Physics: 38
English: 36
Art: 46
Spec: 34
Approx Atar: somehow gives a 96…….no clue how its so high though….

The dream:
Chem: 40
Physics: 42
English: 40
Spec: 37
Art: 48
Approx Atar: 98……yeah not much chance……

Future Plans
So I’ve been thinking more lately about what I want to do next year – as applications will probably open sooner than ever. So I have two options I think, but they’re not veryyyyy good. So I really want to go to UniMelb, as it seems pretty good for Science, and also the most convenient Uni travel wise. Monash seems like a good Uni to, but it’ll take almost 2 hours commute each morning by car, I don’t have a ride for it, and train takes too long too.

Anyway, the Plan:
1.   Bachelor of Sci @ UniMelb
-   Major in Bioengineering
-   Masters of Engineering
Possibly become a biomed engineer. This job seems awesome and something I’ll enjoy doing, as I love design, physics, chem and helping people. The only thing putting me off is the fact that there aren’t many jobs available, and from what I’ve heard, people have struggled when they’ve entered this field. What do you all think? Do it because I have an interest in it, or don’t because there’s no jobs?

The backup plan:
1.   Bachelor of Sci @ UniMelb
-   Major in Chem
-   Masters of Science (I think this exists)
-   Lecturer/Academic
I do like teaching and I do like the prospect of becoming an academic/professor so I think this is a good option for me as well 
-   Doctor of Philosophy (at some stage)

Random Thoughts
I’m writing this at lunchtime on the last day of Term 2. By myself. Friends have left me and these are the times I feel that I cannot wait for school to be over. Tbh it kinda sucks, being left alone on a day that should be a happy day full of celebration. (Well not entirely a celebration but you know what I mean.) Its been a stressful week for me, with a few highs and many lows. I just felt so lost and lonely, with no one to confine in. I always seem like I'm always put together, understanding everything going on around me, working hard.

So I guess I’ll stop this post here. I have soooooooooo much work to do these holidays, so I’ll pop in with a holiday update sometime soon. 
And thanks everyone for tuning into this semester. I’m addicted to reading everyone elses journey posts too, and I’m so grateful for this community.

« Last Edit: June 27, 2020, 08:37:48 pm by ArtyDreams »

ashmi

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Re: a journey on the yellow brick road
« Reply #93 on: June 27, 2020, 05:16:54 pm »
+7
Hey hey Arty!  ;D
(One of my fav journals to read on AN 8) )

I absolutely love this new journal update and it's great to see that you are enjoying it! I'm so happy that Unit 3 is done and dusted woohoo and now we are nearly on our way to getting through Yr 12. Congrats on getting so far in your folio already! That is a big achievement alone and the pain of getting a folio together let alone getting it done is something to be proud of. (I'm so proud of you and the progress you have made with your folio!)

By the way, I 100% believe in you that you will achieve your goals! I see a very passionate and hard-working person in this journal and your efforts will definitely pay off :D.

Spoiler
I'm putting this bit into a spoiler because I have so much to say🤣

I can't believe applications are going to open up really soon too. Your preferences are great Arty and it's so well thought out! (Yay to UniMelb for convenience whoop whoop). Bioengineering sounds so good for you Arty and my personal opinion is that you follow what you are passionate in. You never know where you are going to get a job in the future and also by doing engineering, you learn a lot of other skills so there will definitely be something out there coming your way ;).

(We are totally going to be best buddies in uni if we end up going to UniMelb hands-down! Also, I think we must be living parallel lives or something because I was also planning on teaching as a back-up plan)


Spoiler
Same though you are not alone when you say you want school to be over. If you ever want someone to talk to give me a buzz anytime! Yeah sometimes people think you are so well put together and ok with life that no one asks how you are going. It is alright to feel like that and in the end, we only have a few more months to go. (plus as stated above, we are defs going to be best buds in uni if we both go to unimelb) ;D
Thanks Arty for the update and have an amazing weekend!

ArtyDreams

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Re: a journey on the yellow brick road
« Reply #94 on: June 27, 2020, 08:40:10 pm »
+5
Hey hey Arty!  ;D
(One of my fav journals to read on AN 8) )

I absolutely love this new journal update and it's great to see that you are enjoying it! I'm so happy that Unit 3 is done and dusted woohoo and now we are nearly on our way to getting through Yr 12. Congrats on getting so far in your folio already! That is a big achievement alone and the pain of getting a folio together let alone getting it done is something to be proud of. (I'm so proud of you and the progress you have made with your folio!)

By the way, I 100% believe in you that you will achieve your goals! I see a very passionate and hard-working person in this journal and your efforts will definitely pay off :D.

Spoiler
I'm putting this bit into a spoiler because I have so much to say🤣

I can't believe applications are going to open up really soon too. Your preferences are great Arty and it's so well thought out! (Yay to UniMelb for convenience whoop whoop). Bioengineering sounds so good for you Arty and my personal opinion is that you follow what you are passionate in. You never know where you are going to get a job in the future and also by doing engineering, you learn a lot of other skills so there will definitely be something out there coming your way ;).

(We are totally going to be best buddies in uni if we end up going to UniMelb hands-down! Also, I think we must be living parallel lives or something because I was also planning on teaching as a back-up plan)


Spoiler
Same though you are not alone when you say you want school to be over. If you ever want someone to talk to give me a buzz anytime! Yeah sometimes people think you are so well put together and ok with life that no one asks how you are going. It is alright to feel like that and in the end, we only have a few more months to go. (plus as stated above, we are defs going to be best buds in uni if we both go to unimelb) ;D
Thanks Arty for the update and have an amazing weekend!

Haiiiiii Ash!!
I'm so honoured you read this journal ah ha ~

Your kind words mean so so much to me, and I'm so grateful for your support! We are so old lol.

And yesssss UniMelb gang! I'm excited! Hopefully we'll get to catch up soon!

Thanks so much for everything Ash :)

Have an awesome holiday!

ArtyDreams

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Re: a journey on the yellow brick road
« Reply #95 on: July 24, 2020, 06:30:03 pm »
+7
Hi everyone! Long time no update, but I hope everyones had an awesome start to term 3! I can't believe its already term three - feels like it came so fast yet so slow!

I just thought I'd pop in with a mini update today ~ My SACs are kinda spread out across the term so I'm happy, but still got so much work to do all the same! I'm enjoying what we're learning in all my subjects (except Spec - I dislike kinematics very, very much) and for the first time ever I'm excited about english ah ha. I love comparing texts!

Note to self (written before this term started)
So, in general, apart from giving my all for all my SACs, I have some other things I need to work on.
I’m making it my intention to be happy no matter what, and try and be smiley and talkative with everyone around me.
And here’s the important one. I want to finally be myself and be an independent person. I am doing Year 12 for myself and no one else, and for once, I will STOP caring about what others think. I will study without caring about me doing more than others (big habit…need to stop), stop feeling bad because other people aren’t working as hard as me, and conquer the rest of the year as MYSELF. No one else. ME. If I don’t make this change now and don’t stop being self-conscious, I’m going to end this year with too many regrets. I can and I will.

Anyway, I’m ready to conquer this term.

English SAC disappointment
Well….I thought I was good at text response and ready for this SAC after all the preparation I had done. I was enjoying my text by the end of it, and I was ready to conquer this SAC. Like, I did SO much work for this!!

And then the SAC came.

The prompt I chose was fairly straightforward – this first issue though it was a ‘How’ question. I do generally know how to address these questions, but I hadn’t done any practices with how questions. So that screwed me up a bit – I started over complicating all my ideas, and ended up with three, very messy body paragraphs.
So I essentially thought of my three paragraphs, wasn’t too convinced with my third one but I thought I’d start writing. I seriously under estimated the time I had, didn’t have time to change my last idea, and everything just turned into a big mess. I was literally trying to chuck in quotes in my essay because I needed too, didn’t analyse in depth, didn’t mention all the characters even though I really wanted to, and ended up with a big messy essay with 3 ideas that weren’t even clear. And I don’t even think I talked about author intent enough. I love text response essays, and this was just hopeless. I’m so disappointed – I wasn’t entirely planning on writing on this text for my exam, but with the amount of work I put in I’m so disappointed it ended like this. I had so much good vocab I wanted to use, so many key analyses I had thought of, but it really didn’t work out.

I’m disappointed – hoping for the best but seriously not expecting much. I usually feel like this after most English SACs, but this time – I really, really, really mean it. 

Anyway, thats all I have for today. COVID seems so so scary and I really hope it gets better soon! I feel so worried going to school (but yes, do applaud the school and children trying their best. Mask use was quite good this week, everyone's slowly getting used to it now)
Stay safe everyone!

whys

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Re: a journey on the yellow brick road
« Reply #96 on: July 24, 2020, 09:46:28 pm »
+4
Hi ArtyDreams!
I love comparing texts!
Me too! Comparing texts is honestly quite fun, and I prefer it over text response (mostly because I'm not the biggest fan of Shakespeare).

I want to finally be myself and be an independent person. I am doing Year 12 for myself and no one else, and for once, I will STOP caring about what others think. I will study without caring about me doing more than others (big habit…need to stop), stop feeling bad because other people aren’t working as hard as me, and conquer the rest of the year as MYSELF. No one else. ME. If I don’t make this change now and don’t stop being self-conscious, I’m going to end this year with too many regrets. I can and I will.
A great initiative - everyone often gets caught up with what the world thinks and expects of them, consequently neglecting their own feelings/goals/dreams. You've got this Arty! Go on and conquer the rest of the year and beyond. Now that I know it's not just me who's having a random bout of motivation in term 3, I feel a little less weird. I was expecting to be more demotivated at this time, but it seems that getting closer to exams, my drive to do well is unexpectedly increasing. Anyways, best of luck for everything - and do it for YOU.

So I essentially thought of my three paragraphs, wasn’t too convinced with my third one but I thought I’d start writing. I seriously under estimated the time I had, didn’t have time to change my last idea, and everything just turned into a big mess. I was literally trying to chuck in quotes in my essay because I needed too, didn’t analyse in depth, didn’t mention all the characters even though I really wanted to, and ended up with a big messy essay with 3 ideas that weren’t even clear. And I don’t even think I talked about author intent enough. I love text response essays, and this was just hopeless. I’m so disappointed – I wasn’t entirely planning on writing on this text for my exam, but with the amount of work I put in I’m so disappointed it ended like this. I had so much good vocab I wanted to use, so many key analyses I had thought of, but it really didn’t work out.
This bears an uncanny similarity to my own text response sac... are we the same person?!?! Either way, all you can do now is push on. It's over, and you prepared to the best of your ability. But sometimes, things don't always go the way we want it to, and that's okay. You've been given an opportunity to identify and learn why it went this way, and you won't do the same thing on the exam. Although the failure of being unable to reach your expectations may weigh down on you, remember that it's the small failures that lead up to big successes. It's easy to get caught up about what you think you didn't do well on, and forget about celebrating everything you DID do well and succeeded in. Don't lose sight of that! And I bet you didn't do as bad as you think, because we often tend to exaggerate things. Even if you didn't do too well, it's all a learning experience for the exam at the end of the day. Keep at it!
psych [50] bio [50]
2021-2025: BMedSci/MD @ Monash

ArtyDreams

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Re: a journey on the yellow brick road
« Reply #97 on: July 25, 2020, 10:15:20 am »
+4
Aw thanks so much whys!! (and I'm seriously honoured you read this journal ah ha)

I guess theres no better time than to have motivation in term 3 right? We've got this! Fingers crossed it lasts ah ha.

Thanks for your kinda words about english - I really truly appreciate it  :D

Have an awesome weekend !!

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Re: a journey on the yellow brick road
« Reply #98 on: July 26, 2020, 06:38:34 pm »
+5
Hey Arty!! 😊

(Why am I so late seeing journal updates from my fav journalers on AN?)

Spoiler
You know when you start seeing things in a spoiler it's going to get juicy. 8)

First of all, YOU GO ARTY! You got this and I love your determination to better yourself without worrying about what others think. You are definitely going to smash this year and your efforts are not going unnoticed. I believe in you and I'm pretty sure anyone that reads your journal also has your back!!

Second, English. As whys has said above, I think we may all be the same person spiritually. I know that feeling when you have so many ideas before a SAC but as soon as you get in your mind goes foggy and everything becomes a mess you can't save. It is alright Arty because as whys has already said (fantastic advice), it's a learning experience! (Plus everything gets moderated by exams but lets not go there... ). You will be fine in the end Arty and I'm pretty sure you will do exceptionally well in the end of year exams!

Thanks for the update Arty and enjoy the rest of your weekend and get pumped for another week of school!💖

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Re: a journey on the yellow brick road
« Reply #99 on: July 26, 2020, 08:15:26 pm »
+4
Hi everyone! Long time no update, but I hope everyones had an awesome start to term 3! I can't believe its already term three - feels like it came so fast yet so slow!

I just thought I'd pop in with a mini update today ~ My SACs are kinda spread out across the term so I'm happy, but still got so much work to do all the same! I'm enjoying what we're learning in all my subjects (except Spec - I dislike kinematics very, very much) and for the first time ever I'm excited about english ah ha. I love comparing texts!

Note to self (written before this term started)
So, in general, apart from giving my all for all my SACs, I have some other things I need to work on.
I’m making it my intention to be happy no matter what, and try and be smiley and talkative with everyone around me.
And here’s the important one. I want to finally be myself and be an independent person. I am doing Year 12 for myself and no one else, and for once, I will STOP caring about what others think. I will study without caring about me doing more than others (big habit…need to stop), stop feeling bad because other people aren’t working as hard as me, and conquer the rest of the year as MYSELF. No one else. ME. If I don’t make this change now and don’t stop being self-conscious, I’m going to end this year with too many regrets. I can and I will.

Anyway, I’m ready to conquer this term.

English SAC disappointment
Well….I thought I was good at text response and ready for this SAC after all the preparation I had done. I was enjoying my text by the end of it, and I was ready to conquer this SAC. Like, I did SO much work for this!!

And then the SAC came.

The prompt I chose was fairly straightforward – this first issue though it was a ‘How’ question. I do generally know how to address these questions, but I hadn’t done any practices with how questions. So that screwed me up a bit – I started over complicating all my ideas, and ended up with three, very messy body paragraphs.
So I essentially thought of my three paragraphs, wasn’t too convinced with my third one but I thought I’d start writing. I seriously under estimated the time I had, didn’t have time to change my last idea, and everything just turned into a big mess. I was literally trying to chuck in quotes in my essay because I needed too, didn’t analyse in depth, didn’t mention all the characters even though I really wanted to, and ended up with a big messy essay with 3 ideas that weren’t even clear. And I don’t even think I talked about author intent enough. I love text response essays, and this was just hopeless. I’m so disappointed – I wasn’t entirely planning on writing on this text for my exam, but with the amount of work I put in I’m so disappointed it ended like this. I had so much good vocab I wanted to use, so many key analyses I had thought of, but it really didn’t work out.

I’m disappointed – hoping for the best but seriously not expecting much. I usually feel like this after most English SACs, but this time – I really, really, really mean it. 

Anyway, thats all I have for today. COVID seems so so scary and I really hope it gets better soon! I feel so worried going to school (but yes, do applaud the school and children trying their best. Mask use was quite good this week, everyone's slowly getting used to it now)
Stay safe everyone!

response to 1st spoiler
Happiness is an emotion, so like other emotions I don't think it's possible or good to be that all of the time but there's certainly nothing wrong with adopting a positive mindset! (Sorry if that was me being overly pedantic I'm just a bit cautious about the expectation to always be happy - whether that's self-imposed or not.)

Best of luck with relying more on yourself for how you view your actions & for practicing new perspectives!

You dislike kinematics?? Noooo that wounds the physics part of me :'(

I found using a disposable mask fairly annoying but now I have a reusable one which is much more comfy :)
Luckily I don't really need to go outside much anyway.

ArtyDreams

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Re: a journey on the yellow brick road
« Reply #100 on: July 26, 2020, 09:31:41 pm »
+6
Hey Arty!! 😊

(Why am I so late seeing journal updates from my fav journalers on AN?)

Spoiler
You know when you start seeing things in a spoiler it's going to get juicy. 8)

First of all, YOU GO ARTY! You got this and I love your determination to better yourself without worrying about what others think. You are definitely going to smash this year and your efforts are not going unnoticed. I believe in you and I'm pretty sure anyone that reads your journal also has your back!!

Second, English. As whys has said above, I think we may all be the same person spiritually. I know that feeling when you have so many ideas before a SAC but as soon as you get in your mind goes foggy and everything becomes a mess you can't save. It is alright Arty because as whys has already said (fantastic advice), it's a learning experience! (Plus everything gets moderated by exams but lets not go there... ). You will be fine in the end Arty and I'm pretty sure you will do exceptionally well in the end of year exams!

Thanks for the update Arty and enjoy the rest of your weekend and get pumped for another week of school!💖

Heyooooo Ash!! My fave physics buddy
Thank you so much for your kind words Ashmi! You're always so supportive to me and I've forever grateful <3

Hope you have an amazing week too Ash!



Heyo Bri!! I'm smiling so big right now
Quote
Happiness is an emotion, so like other emotions I don't think it's possible or good to be that all of the time but there's certainly nothing wrong with adopting a positive mindset! (Sorry if that was me being overly pedantic I'm just a bit cautious about the expectation to always be happy - whether that's self-imposed or not.)

Best of luck with relying more on yourself for how you view your actions & for practicing new perspectives!
Ahh I probably should've worded that a bit better oops - I totally understand what you mean - its so normal to feel different emotions!
I guess I meant that I don't want to be sad for no reason - sometimes I go to school being down and quiet for no reason - I think I just want to break out of that and show my happy side more often. Of course, I feel so many different feelings over a week and I will not feel bad about it.  ;D

 
Quote
You dislike kinematics?? Noooo that wounds the physics part of me :'(
Ah ha yep - I love everything else in Physics but kinematics ah ha. Fields and electricity make me happy but kinematics just doesn't oops.

Lets see if I can grow to love it more  ;)

Thank you so much for the reply and have an awesome week Bri!

ArtyDreams

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Re: a journey on the yellow brick road
« Reply #101 on: August 02, 2020, 06:18:15 pm »
+12
Life Update:
I wasn’t planning on doing a journal post today, but my motivation for doing school work tonight just plummeted so here I am…

Well…tomorrows the last day of face to face (and I guess the last day of term 3?) and just, what a year it has been. The restrictions were very much necessary, and I think the school closures were the best way to go, seeing as lots of schools have closed too. Tomorrows only my seventh day of school….
I’m happy with the decision to online learn, it’s a lot less stressing as I don’t have to constantly think about sanitising etc and I can concentrate on school work better. I am quite good at learning independently so I’m not worried about my learning. I just wasn’t expecting a full six weeks of this – fingers crossed this lockdown works and we can get back to school sooner! I'm going to make sure I have a proper routine this time - when I'm at home I feel like I only study, so I'm probably going to start more projects to keep my mind on other things. Also I'm dreading online SACs again....
But I can’t help feeling a bit sad about this – all our special year 12 events are pretty much cancelled and I guess it’s not the way anyone would have thought of finishing school. I think our teachers are sadder than us tbh – we are a great year level and I do think they wanted to spend more time with us! Anyway….

I’m just going to try and stay as motivated as I can, and use this as motivation to work even harder. I think it’ll be awesome if we can come on top of this – so I’m going to continue to work for my goals and dreams, and make everyone around me proud!  :D I’m also so grateful for AN and this awesome community – I seriously don’t know what I’d do without it! I feel less alone and so supported ~

Class of 2020, we CAN do this! If anyone needs help or just wants to chat, I’m here <3 We’ll get through this together!

And everyone else, please stay safe ~ and don’t forget to look after yourselves!
« Last Edit: August 02, 2020, 06:30:06 pm by ArtyDreams »

homeworkisapotato

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Re: a journey on the yellow brick road
« Reply #102 on: August 05, 2020, 08:01:53 pm »
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Hi ArtyDreams! I've enjoyed reading your journal updates to the point where I wish it just kept going hahah!
I hope your last day of face to face went great and I totally feel you with the only studying in quarantine...I'm also finding it really difficult to draw the line!
I’m just going to try and stay as motivated as I can, and use this as motivation to work even harder. I think it’ll be awesome if we can come on top of this – so I’m going to continue to work for my goals and dreams, and make everyone around me proud!  :D I’m also so grateful for AN and this awesome community – I seriously don’t know what I’d do without it! I feel less alone and so supported ~
I love your positive attitude in these trying times it's very inspiring! Stay safe in these safe times and I'm excited to read more updates  ;D
2020: Biology [43]
2021: Methods, Chemistry, HHD, English, Further
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ArtyDreams

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Re: a journey on the yellow brick road
« Reply #103 on: August 17, 2020, 02:05:54 pm »
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Hi AN! Thought I’d pop on for an update today since it’s been 2 weeks since my last update and a lot has happened since then! I’ll keep this short though, I’m lazy to type ah ha.

So…….my plan was to come back today with a positive update as I had a pretty good start to online learning and was happy with my progress. But today for the first time in a while I seriously feel down and a bit unmotivated and disappointed with myself as the dodgy SAC marks just keep coming…

I did a fair amount of work last week, and I think I’ve disciplined myself to do work without getting too distracted! I was so happy with my progress – online learning suits my learning style as I feel like I’m much more productive at home, and as I get less tired, I’m able to stay working for longer!

Okay now for the disappointing stuff….
For context, I was doing prettyyyyy well in my subjects by getting roughly above 80 (A) in all my SACs. So first annoying thing was my text response SAC (ranted about it in an earlier post if anyone remembers.). I studied SO hard for that SAC, I thought I’d do well as I’m usually good at text response. Then SAC came and everything fell on my shoulders. Ended up with a sad 75% and my rank has def fallen as it seems people did really well on it……just why. As I get motivated for English everything just seems to fall down again…so now I don’t have much motivation for this. Our comparative SAC is in the last week of term (which is reasonable.) I’m really stressed because the English Exam is so soon and I haven’t even started prepping and the text I’m planning to do for text response was the one we did for creative which means I pretty much need to re-learn all of it and write a ton of practise essays and I don’t feel like I have enough time…. Arghhhhhhhhh……

Okay next annoying thing. I’m so done with physics and its killing me and I’m not enjoying it and its hard. I loved Unit 3 but Unit 4 is just bad. So I did well in Unit 3 Physics with an A+ average. Last week I had an online SAC and I did study so much but I just found it so hard to manage online with lots of typing questions. It was my first completely online SAC and it just didn’t work out for me. I got my mark back today to see a 80%. I can’t even express how bad I feel. The average was quite high which means everyone would’ve done well and I didn’t do as well as I usually do. I did so many stupid mistakes and overcomplicated things….just WHY????? I feel so doomed right now :(

I have my Spec SAC next week and Chem a bit later on. I was feeling good about them but now I’m just nervous and Chem feels so so rushed as we haven’t even finished AOS1 and I have so much to revise and I want to do well but nothing seems to stick in my head and I’m nervous because I cannntttttt screw up another SAC!! If I do reallllyyyyyyy well on my exams (which I am capable of seeing that I understand stuff but need to stop making stupid mistakes) will these SAC marks even matter? Did anyone manage to get high SS with a few odd SAC marks? Like I know SACs get scaled and in the end it doesn’t matter too much, but I just cant help feeling deflated with the amount of effort I’m putting in.

Anyway sorry for this update. It was probs really all over the place but I just had a lot of feelings on my mind. Everything seems so far out of reach atm and I’m getting so nervous about the next few weeks. I work so so so so hard but it just doesn’t seem to be paying off anymore. Like, what more can I even do.

Evolio

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Re: a journey on the yellow brick road
« Reply #104 on: August 17, 2020, 02:31:04 pm »
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Hey Arty! Very nice to see an update from you, I really love reading them!!  ;D

Quote
I was so happy with my progress – online learning suits my learning style as I feel like I’m much more productive at home, and as I get less tired, I’m able to stay working for longer!
OMG, I'm so glad someone feels the same way!! I thought I was the only one who preferred online learning to face to face. I prefer online learning as well as I have so much more time to do everything I want! It's great that this is working for you! Good job on staying disciplined and working hard!

Spoiler
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. It's a very very tough & stressful situation to be in, but you still have time to redeem yourself (even though it seems there is little) and get the results you want for your upcoming sacs and of course, the exam. Keep practising and doing whatever you can, even when it might feel demotivating to even try. I feel this with spec a lot, and well the way I like to think about it is to just keep doing everything you can, that is, looking at your mistakes and trying to improve, even when it feels like it doesn't seem like enough. Just try your best and you will definitely be greatly rewarded! I believe in you!
Yeah, silly mistakes suck, don't they? But, you are definitely NOT doomed. You still have the exam and that's what counts the most as you've said.

Good luck for your chem and spec sacs! Go and smash them!
Quote
I’m nervous because I cannntttttt screw up another SAC!!
I feel this in my soul as well. There's a really big burden but I'm sure you can pull through.

And no need to apologise, these are your raw thoughts and it's your journal, so you can express whatever you're feeling right now.
YOU'VE GOT THIS, ARTY!! 💪💪Just keep trying and you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel even though it feels like there's no light left.