Can someone please give feedback on this introduction I wrote for Discovery??

[naaram]

"Whether motivated by need, wonder or curiosity, discovery has the power to be transformative.’
How accurately does this statement reflect the view of discovery explored in your prescribed text and ONE other related text of your own choosing?

Discovery can encompass the experience of discovering something for the first time or rediscovering something that has been lost, forgotten or concealed. The process of discovery will inevitably reveal the need of wonder or curiosity and the power of discovery to be transformative. However, because the process of discovery is a multifaceted experience, the nature of these responses will vary between individuals. It is through the motivation by need, wonder or curiosity, that discovery uses as a catalyst in ones life, and portrays the power to be transformative. Such idea is conveyed through Michael Gow’s play “Away”,this notion of discovery is evident through the various characters; Coral, Tom and Gwen, and how being motivated by the need, of discovery, which had made their personal discoveries transformative. Similarly, Kate Chopin's 19th century short story “Story of An Hour”,one of the main protagonists,Mrs Mallard, shows how the death of an individual can influence an individual to discover a new perspective of life,  leading to the need of discovery as it causes an individual's emotion to broaden. Both texts utilise literary techniques to effectively explore the notion of discovery bringing about the motivation by need, wonder and curiosity in discovery making it transformative.

[dancing phalanges]

"Whether motivated by need, wonder or curiosity, discovery has the power to be transformative.’
How accurately does this statement reflect the view of discovery explored in your prescribed text and ONE other related text of your own choosing?

Discovery can encompass the experience of discovering something for the first time or rediscovering something that has been lost, forgotten or concealed. This thesis doesn't link to the question and instead deals with a completely different rubric dot point - make sure to answer the question straight away and that includes answering how accurate the statement is The process of discovery will inevitably reveal the need of wonder or curiosity and the power of discovery to be transformativeI don't know if you completely understood the question - it is about whether discoveries are motivated by need wonder or curiosity - so this is what happens before the discovery is made!. However, because the process of discovery is a multifaceted experience, the nature of these responses will vary between individuals. It is through the motivation by need, wonder or curiosity, that discovery uses as a catalyst in ones life, and portrays the power to be transformative.This sentence doesn't make much sense and has too many ideas in it. Such idea is conveyed through Michael Gow’s play “Away”,this notion of discoverywhat discovery? is evident through the various characters; Coral, Tom and Gwen, and how being motivated by the need, of discovery, which had made their personal discoveries transformative. Not sure what you mean here?Similarly, Kate Chopin's 19th century short story “Story of An Hour”,one of the main protagonists,Mrs Mallard, shows how the death of an individual can influence an individual to discover a new perspective of life,  leading to the need of discovery as it causes an individual's emotion to broaden. The need to discovery is good you just need to make it clearer in how you express thisBoth texts utilise literary techniques to effectively explore the notion of discovery bringing about the motivation by need, wonder and curiosity in discovery making it transformative.Don't completely understand this sentence sorry!

You have lots of ideas here which are relevant - I think what you need to work on is sticking to one central argument throughout. This question is about how discoveries are MOTIVATED by need, curiosity or wonder - so you are looking at what happens before the discovery - have they gone out to discover their past because they feel like they NEED to to be able to understand their identity, or are they just CURIOUS to find out and see what will unfold. That is the sort of thing you are looking for. This question was in the HSC last year though so don't stress and just remember your first sentence needs to answer the question rather than another rubric dot point. Best of luck

[naaram]

"Whether motivated by need, wonder or curiosity, discovery has the power to be transformative.’
How accurately does this statement reflect the view of discovery explored in your prescribed text and ONE other related text of your own choosing?

Discovery can encompass the experience of discovering something for the first time or rediscovering something that has been lost, forgotten or concealed. This thesis doesn't link to the question and instead deals with a completely different rubric dot point - make sure to answer the question straight away and that includes answering how accurate the statement is The process of discovery will inevitably reveal the need of wonder or curiosity and the power of discovery to be transformativeI don't know if you completely understood the question - it is about whether discoveries are motivated by need wonder or curiosity - so this is what happens before the discovery is made!. However, because the process of discovery is a multifaceted experience, the nature of these responses will vary between individuals. It is through the motivation by need, wonder or curiosity, that discovery uses as a catalyst in ones life, and portrays the power to be transformative.This sentence doesn't make much sense and has too many ideas in it. Such idea is conveyed through Michael Gow’s play “Away”,this notion of discoverywhat discovery? is evident through the various characters; Coral, Tom and Gwen, and how being motivated by the need, of discovery, which had made their personal discoveries transformative. Not sure what you mean here?Similarly, Kate Chopin's 19th century short story “Story of An Hour”,one of the main protagonists,Mrs Mallard, shows how the death of an individual can influence an individual to discover a new perspective of life,  leading to the need of discovery as it causes an individual's emotion to broaden. The need to discovery is good you just need to make it clearer in how you express thisBoth texts utilise literary techniques to effectively explore the notion of discovery bringing about the motivation by need, wonder and curiosity in discovery making it transformative.Don't completely understand this sentence sorry!

You have lots of ideas here which are relevant - I think what you need to work on is sticking to one central argument throughout. This question is about how discoveries are MOTIVATED by need, curiosity or wonder - so you are looking at what happens before the discovery - have they gone out to discover their past because they feel like they NEED to to be able to understand their identity, or are they just CURIOUS to find out and see what will unfold. That is the sort of thing you are looking for. This question was in the HSC last year though so don't stress and just remember your first sentence needs to answer the question rather than another rubric dot point. Best of luck

Thank you for the feedback