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December 06, 2021, 02:34:03 pm

Author Topic: I NEED comparative essay help - ransom and the queen  (Read 735 times)  Share 

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Muklesa

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I NEED comparative essay help - ransom and the queen
« on: September 29, 2021, 10:29:22 am »
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Hello, I was having some trouble writing a comparative essay and my teachers feedback is not helping me much, so I was wondering how I could improve this essay.

Thank you

As Malouf presents the image of Achilles brooding as Patroclus stands at the entrance of his hut, we are reminded how if mismanaged, conflict can cause perplexity between duty and self. Undeniably, through a lack of healthy communication conflict can easily generate disputes between the closest of companions. However, in David Malouf’s Ransom and Stephen Frears’ The Queen, both creators suggest engaging in ‘fellow feeling’ as a beneficial method of resolving conflict. Even further, both director and author advocate for the ability to compromise in unsettled times, even if it is a difficult task.

At times not even the strongest of relationships can overcome conflict, and when one mixes emotion with duty the fear of never overcoming such conflict grows. Relationships are known to most people and most people fear losing companionships, however, when opinions and values differ from one person to another dilemma is bound to occur. Both Malouf and Frears weave as many conflicts in their narratives as they can in the hopes that their audience will interpret how difficult disputes are to overcome. Malouf transcribes Patroclus’ and Achilles’ “appalling” disagreement constructing the devastations that follow conflicts, and by incorporating Achilles’ “barbaric spectacle” on Hectors’ body following that, Malouf presents the domino effect of one moment of conflict. This reiterates Malouf claim of the difficulty of surpassing quandaries caused by fights, however, also illustrates the human ignorance of when a small dispute can turn into a large cascade of “damage” and “horror”. Malouf sophistication moves to a deeper level when he introduces Priam’s internal conflict as he deals with the aftermaths of his sons’ tragic death. Priam’s realisation of how hopeless he felt during this time allowed him to explore a time in his life where he was equally as hopeless - a time before he was King of Tory. Malouf created a war between Priam and Podarces – one a king with duties to protect and honour and the other a young child with personal feelings and full of innocents. This war spirals into one that makes Priam want to return to “be that child”, to repossess the identity he once had but was lost to his role as King. Malouf stresses, through Priam, that conflicts aren’t necessarily only caused by two people who disagree on a particular topic, rather conflicts can arise from within making them even more difficult to deal with. Priam’s long-term struggle with his identity allows Malouf to clarify how intensely tedious the process to achieve peace can be, both personally and with others. Like Achilles’, Queen Elizabeth’s disputes also create a range of concerns that eventually make the public turn their backs on her the same way Patroclus turned his back on Achilles. Frears uses the British public as a catalyst for change, however, the Queen's denial of her need to “modernise” is the chance that Frears takes to format every complication around. Queen Elizabeth’s traditions and duty not only “damaged the monarchy” but also complicated her relationship with Prince Charles, her son, so much so that she did not allow him to visit his children’s mother on her death bed. Frears through this creates a rift between a mother and her children, like the rift created by Malouf for Priam and his children. However, contrasting to Priam, Queen Elizabeth never had the realisation that she was a neglectful mother, whereas Priam did and tried to change. This gave way for Malouf to present Priam as open-minded and aware of his faults, and although Frears’ Queen Elizabeth didn’t realise her faults, viewers are prompted to sympathise with her as “uneasy lies the head that wears the crown”, a quote strategically placed at the start of the film by Frears to provoke a sense of solicitude for the stoic leader. Furthermore, though her continual insistence against a “public funeral,” and her escape to Balmoral to “forget the world and its sad turmoils”, might not be as violent as the irresponsibility of the “animal” Achilles, the public still perceives her as “disgusting” and politicians question whether she is a “human being”, complicating her position as Queen privately and publicly. Thus, we see that although Malouf and Frears interweave as many conflicts in their novels as possible it is merely to demonstrate to their audience how difficult it is to overcome dilemmas caused by conflicts.   

Undeniably, conflict often takes the place of peace and harmony, therefore one must always attempt to overcome conflict as fast as possible. This is no easy task, however not impossible, especially if people search for help among their advisors. Both Frears and Malouf equip their characters with advisors that can assist them in their journey to overcome the problem, it is up to these characters to make use of them. Although Priam was not necessarily an advisor to Achilles his connection to him allowed Achilles to find peace. Achilles finding his relationship with Priam “intimate”, “respectful” and seeing Priam as “the figure of his father… cleared his heart of the smoky poison that clogged” his heart and mind. Malouf’s connection of Achilles father to Priam, allowed him to present Priam in the fatherly light that he admitted to lack, this new revelation gives way for readers to understand Malouf claim that adversity can be overcome when there is a genuine connection between two people. Malouf developing Priam’s character to one where a stranger can see him as a father also defines to readers that Priam has changed, and perhaps because of his journey with Somax has found himself, ending the conflict within himself. Queen Elizabeth’s similar interaction with Blair allowed her to develop from the traditions that she held “dear” and find Peace with her subjects. Blairs’ continuous plea with the Queen made her realise that she was mistaken and therefore her connection with Blair allowed her to rid the “[hatred]” the public and government had for her. Elizabeth’s speech, just like Achilles returning Hector’s body, represents a recognition of her attempt to overcome the dilemma: this is an acknowledgment just as humbling as Achilles’ surrendering the corpse of his “implacable enemy.” Frears emphasises the value of Queen Elizabeth’s actions when Cherie’s snarky comment that the Queen “doesn’t mean a word” of her speech, is cleverly rejected by Blair who emphasises that is “not the point.” The fact that the Queen is publicly and openly addressing her people is “extraordinary” considering the habits instilled within her for “her whole life.” Likewise, the audience is positioned by Malouf to feel amazed by Achilles’ potential for transformation when Achilles “offers” the weakened Priam his “hand”, while they “eat something together” and make temporary peace. Malouf and Frears, therefore share the same view that conflict can be a hard mountain to climb however when one is willing to ask and receive help – letting go of their status, they can conquer it and be transformed into more resilient individuals.   

As the camera pans out on Blair and Elizabeth casually strolling through the royal gardens, there is an impression that empathy and humility have been able to bring about a conclusive resolution of conflict. In Ransom, however, we are not offered such a liberating ending, Priam is ultimately killed with “a last spasm”, and Achilles, too, is "among the shades". There is a sense of pity, that despite the efforts of Priam and Achilles, they have only achieved a ‘provisional triumph’ in a fixed narrative. What Malouf is attempting is to inspire his readers to employ a ‘fellow feeling’ and resolve conflict in our everyday lives, different from a war narrative.
« Last Edit: October 01, 2021, 05:38:19 pm by Muklesa »

theboots

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Re: I NEED comparative essay help - ransom and the queen
« Reply #1 on: October 10, 2021, 03:15:53 pm »
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Heyy Muklesa!! :)

Im no english teacher, but I have some points! I'm doing year 12 and the same texts as you, so they miiight be useful!!

1. Its GREAT that you're using the author's name so much. My teacher is always telling me to do this!! (and shes such an awesome teacher with really high standards so you can trust me on this point at least haha)
2. Refine your intro a little bit. For your first sentence, make sure you include information about BOTH texts, not one and then the other. After you've done that sentence, reword the prompt in your own words, then overview what your paragraphs will be about.
3. "Both Malouf and Frears weave as many conflicts in their narratives as they can in the hopes that their audience............" This sentence brings in a good point, however your language is too informal, as with other sentences throughout your essay. For this sentence, for example, you could say something along the lines of:
"Both Malouf and Frears weave many conflicting scenes into their narratives, in attempt to enlighten their audience as to the difficult nature of overcoming such great adversities." (that's probably a horrible sentence, but its more formal if you get what i mean)
4. Its also GREAT that you use so many quotes!!
5. Some sentences are too long, for example this one: "Furthermore, though her continual insistence against a “public funeral,” and her escape to Balmoral to “forget the world and its sad turmoils”, might not be as violent as the irresponsibility of the “animal” Achilles, the public still perceives her as “disgusting” and politicians question whether she is a “human being”, complicating her position as Queen privately and publicly." - try to keep them more concise.... maybe use less quotes in a longer sentence so the reader doesn't loose track of where the sentence is going, if you get what I mean.
6. Try not to retell so much........ this is such a common point (i do it myself). You're doing this a lot, and if you focused more on analysing, your paragraphs would be shorter, too, because at the moment they're quite long.
7. You should have 3 paragraphs.
8. Topic sentences are good, you want to keep em shortish and to the point.
9. "Likewise, the audience is positioned by Malouf to feel amazed by Achilles’ potential for transformation when Achilles “offers” the weakened Priam his “hand”, while they “eat something together” and make temporary peace." This sentence is really good!! It analyses, and uses quotes effectively and isn't too long or too short - I'd say this is perfect!!
10. Again with your conclusion, try not to separate your sentences into Ransom and The Queen, try to moosh them together..... Also, try not to bring in anything new - you're summarising your points........ you don't need to write how the texts ended - that should be written in your paragraphs

Anyway thats all i've got for ya, hopefully someone smarter can reply and give you better points!! :D
GOOD LUCK with the rest of the year!!!!

Muklesa

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Re: I NEED comparative essay help - ransom and the queen
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2021, 02:17:19 pm »
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THANK YOU SO MUCH, this definitely helped!!