Addict With A VCE Journal

[addictwithatextbook]

I can't believe I still have the motivation to continue this journal. I'll just be brief this time.

Literally the night on the day I posted, twenty one pilots released two of their new songs and I was ecstatic for a few days. I like them so much I'm going to my first concert to their Bandito tour this year. I don't know how a concert is going to feel. Bad? Good? Regardless, I'm excited.

Croatia also lost the World Cup and I was 

With school, all subjects just quickly went back into content and it went all back to normal. We're currently learning about I Am Malala for English, but I read the booklet and I found Made In Dagenham is easier to analyse for me, so I need to improve my analysis for I Am Malala. We also received our Practice Exam results, where one of my practice exams was marked externally as well. In sum, Text Response: Assessor - 8, Teacher - 7-8; Language Analysis: Assessor - 7, Teacher - 9 (which was the only scoring she mucked up on in the whole class). Pretty happy with it, but I need to aim for higher for a better study score.

Legal's good. Chem's good. The spectroscopic techniques are so much easier to understand once you've gone over them 3 times prior to the lesson. Methods = stressful. We've started probability, but we have a Modelling SAC for Calculus next week (which goes over the time allocation VCAA gives pretty sure). Probability's good thanks to the lecture. For Psych, we're going so fast, it's hard to keep up with notes. My teacher's planning to do a chapter a week and finish it all by Week 8. He also gave us a practice exam to do on the topics we've covered by Week 3.

Not only Term 3 is so high with schoolwork, it's so critical for our tertiary study. I read through the booklet by VTAC all for year 11 and 12 students and I find it also daunting. I've researched quite a number of courses and selected around 4 so far for my preferences. I also plan to apply for SEAS, Category 1 for being in a disadvantaged school (so all the students in the school tick that box) and Category 2 for disadvantaged financial background. I was so lost and didn't know you didn't have to write anything for Category 2 if you have Centrelink family benefits. I also plan to apply for scholarships but I don't know which ones yet.

That's all for now. I just notice how really awkward I am at school and I hate it and I want to talk to people but I don't because it's the fear that I'll be awkward

[S200]

That's all for now. I just notice how really awkward I am at school and I hate it and I want to talk to people but I don't because it's the fear that I'll be awkward

Have you tried making really bad puns?
Then you can be awkward and it just adds to the humour of the situation...

(of course, you have to be comfortable enough to laugh at yourself...)

[addictwithatextbook]

Have you tried making really bad puns?
Then you can be awkward and it just adds to the humour of the situation...

(of course, you have to be comfortable enough to laugh at yourself...)

I only do them with some of my close friends haha. Once instead of shaking someone's hand but because he was holding a drink bottle I just groped the back of his hand and it was embarrassing and awkward and he was also with his friend and I felt like banging my head on the locker but I laughed about it with my friends (so maybe I can laugh about me being awkward but people see me as the quiet guy). I also find it hard to carry a conversation.

[S200]

I only do them with some of my close friends haha. Once instead of shaking someone's hand but because he was holding a drink bottle I just groped the back of his hand and it was embarrassing and awkward and he was also with his friend and I felt like banging my head on the locker but I laughed about it with my friends (so maybe I can laugh about me being awkward but people see me as the quiet guy).

Lol. I wonder who felt more awkward?

I also find it hard to carry a conversation.

I used to be like this. I could never start a conversation and I just felt really dumb just standing with a group of semi-friends with no-one talking.
But gradually, I have gravitated to starting  the convo's, and being more at ease in the presence of strangers.

I think the easiest way to get over this fear is to do the lay down challenge...

[addictwithatextbook]

Lol. I wonder who felt more awkward?

I don't know lmao, I didn't talk to him for like 2 days after that haha

I used to be like this. I could never start a conversation and I just felt really dumb just standing with a group of semi-friends with no-one talking.
But gradually, I have gravitated to starting  the convo's, and being more at ease in the presence of strangers.

I think the easiest way to get over this fear is to do the lay down challenge...

Oh wow, thanks for the video! All the things he said at the beginning felt so true to me, and yeah, I think part of my fear is because I exposed myself to many situations on the public very little.

What a great video and great motivation! Thank you very much! I liked how Psychology was linked with this. I'll try lie down next time I go to the city hahaha

[S200]

What a great video and great motivation! Thank you very much! I liked how Psychology was linked with this. I'll try lie down next time I go to the city hahaha

Anytime.

Make sure you post a video of you doing it on here!

[Joseph41]

Just with the talking to others thing - not talking to more people is probably one of my big regrets from school. Like, I don't have any contact with certain people now because I didn't develop a relationship with them at the time. Really recommend taking the chance if you can.

[addictwithatextbook]

Make sure you post a video of you doing it on here!

I'll do a picture at least. Hopefully. I'll force myself to haha

Just with the talking to others thing - not talking to more people is probably one of my big regrets from school. Like, I don't have any contact with certain people now because I didn't develop a relationship with them at the time. Really recommend taking the chance if you can.

It's difficult when my mind is very focused on work, but I sure will (I won't try to create any regrets!). I've talked to significantly more people this year than any of the previous years, so I think I'm getting better and better )

Hello again. It feels like a Friday.

Just a quick one today. We finished our Methods SAC which went over two days and three lessons, and was out of 83 marks. I was so disappointed in my performance during the first lesson, because I wasn't even a third of the way through the booklet by the end (we had two lessons) and so I went into next period (Legal) really sad, and answering questions half-heartedly. I ended up being the only one in the class who got the answer right lmao how But for the lesson after school, I ended up finishing that part of the paper relatively confident, and so I'm happy (but that was after everyone talked to everyone about what was on the rest of the SAC and the correct methods and answers for each). The second part, which was today, however, was super hard. I didn't get to do a two mark question and so I'm expecting a low(er) score for this SAC. There's also a Chemistry SAC test next week on 5 chapters, and a Psychology SAC the week after. Yay.

Today we also had an assembly, and gave awards for each subject in each year level. Until it went to me, nobody was receiving the Chem, Legal, Meth, Psych, and English awards. I ended up getting all of them and I was so surprised. I didn't expect for Rank 1 in each subject, especially for Chemistry, Psychology and ENGLISH. I'm happy and I appreciate it and all, but there's a little part of me that feels bad, like I stole awards of other people and hogged them all. Also, I crave recognition but I despise attention, but I don't know if that makes any sense?

That's about it. Also on the UMAT, I only know one person from my school who is doing it, so good luck to her, and good luck to everyone else tomorrow!  random thoughts at the end, i still wish i took more photos in the photobooth at formal, and im still waiting for the photos a teacher took of us including one with me in native indian headwear

[addictwithatextbook]

Wed 01.08.18
Wow. It's already August.

Sat 21.07.18
Writing about this day is a bit late (and not that related to school) but I literally spent around 6 hours watching a 12 hour gameplay of Detroit Become Human, and I don't regret it! I never felt so disconnected from school since last year. It was a break at the perfect time and the game was so cool. I wanted to dress as Connor for celebration day because the costume is so cool but yeah. Also, there was a huge birthday party of someone from school and it looked like half of the year level was there. It felt like I was there when I was just watching the snapchat stories at 1:30am (after I finished watching the DBH gameplay, and I never stay awake by this time either) and it was so wild.

Sat 28.07.18
I've never been so stressed during this day and the coming days. There was so much work I did but so much English homework I didn't do. Also, a Chem SAC that was coming up (which was today).

Sun 29.07.18
I went to the Swinburne Open Day, and it was pretty good. I got a (free!) shirt XXXL size when my shirt size is small or XS. I went to the law and engineering/science areas and asked questions (I really need to do more of this to build my social skills! i awkwardly say 'oh' when someone introduces themselves). Free stuff was pretty good too. I almost missed the train home because I was almost going to stay on the train that would take me to Belgrave (other side from where I live).

Mon 30.07.18
Stress was at an all time high this day. I also received CFAT results for Legal. I got 92% but expected higher. I'm noticing my teacher marks a lot more harshly now. Need to practice for the SAC next week.

Tue 31.07.18
Stress disappeared by the end of this day. I finished the English homework and realised all I needed to focus on was Methods and the Chem SAC. My teacher also hasn't finished marking the Methods SAC because she claims she does so much work! I feel bad for her doing so much stuff more than other teachers would. Thanks miss. Also found out there is ANOTHER English practice exam on the day before my Legal SAC during the day of Parent Teacher Interviews and I'm URINED

Wed 01.08.18
Studying for 2 hours the night before for this SAC, claiming to have all 5 chapters of the Area of Study in the test, the SAC was pretty underwhelming. It was only 30 marks with one mark given to everyone (it asked to give the name of an ether compound - not in the study design) and it didn't even include Chapter 13 (chromatography) and 14 (volumetric analysis), and apparently all of us studied these two chapters for no reason. The SAC was easier than we all thought (some people finished 30 minutes early) so if I get below 94% I'll be pretty upset. Some questions were also a bit confusing (one asked to draw enantiomers of this complex molecule but it was only one mark). Methods is going really good, too. I love the class and we only have three chapters to go. We also have to hand in a baby photo by the end of the month and last night we took a trip down memory lane looking at the albums <3

The girl in our school who did the UMAT apparently did not have to do the UMAT at ALL. She was counted as a domestic student in high school but an international student in university (I don't know how) and so she has to do the ISAT or something as well. That means she wasted all that time studying for the UMAT and missing school! And a Methods class! Don't forget the COST! She has to pay for the ISAT too...

That's about it  Also found some Spanish bangers by a French dude I'm listening to right now

[addictwithatextbook]

Sun 12.08.18
I have barely had any time to update this journal. It's just been so full on!

Psychology Practice Exam Results + More Practice Exams - Thu 02.08.18
I got 72 out of 90 (80%) for the Unit 3 Practice Exam we did on the holidays, which was higher than I thought it would be! I only lost five marks on multiple-choice as well as 3 marks from short-answer, of those that I did answer (didn't answer 10 mark question). I'm pretty pleased and I hope I just keep improving from here. My teacher's also been handing out Practice Exams (two so far) to do not under timed and closed book conditions yet, and he tells us not to answer the questions about mental health and disorders and phobias but I just try because why not.

Chemistry SAC Results - Fri 03.08.18
I received my results for the Chem SAC that was on the Wednesday (compare two days with the 4 weeks she took to mark the other SAC) and I was at first, quite disappointed. I received 87% for what seemed to be an easy test (then bumped up to 90%), rank 2 and equalling my lowest SAC mark this year. Then the teacher emphasised that percentage was not that important and marks and the exam were more important. I need to get that into my head.

La Trobe University Open Day - Sun 05.08.18
I went with my sister who was a former La Trobe student to the university and it was really good! I didn't expect to like it that much as I was hoping for somewhere closer to the city, but the atmosphere was really great. There's lots of food to eat (my first HSP), activities to do, the library was massive and the open space was really peaceful. Definitely considering coming here as one of my top picks. However, like the Swinburne one, I never had much time to explore most of the campus and activities because I only arrive at like 1:00 or 1:30 from going to church. I really don't want to miss out on church either - I volunteer there. It's also why I wasn't able to go to the Monash open day on the same day when I wished to go there as well (it takes around more than 2 hours for me to get there I think?). This is also an issue with the ATARNotes legal lectures. They're always in the Sunday mornings but I really want to attend Legal as well! About the volunteering, the careers teacher came to one of my classes recently to ask who wants to apply for the Aspire program. I put my hand up but she didn't see me and I didn't write my name so I never bothered.

Methods SAC Results - Mon 06.08.18
I am super happy with my results for methods! I thought I was going to get lower. Overall I got 92% but this bumped up to 24/25 marks going to VCAA because I lost one mark in each of outcomes 1 and 3 so it still counted as like 8/8 and 7/7 when rounded for both outcomes, but I lost around 5 in outcome 2. I maintained rank 1... hopefully I can do better in the next SAC - probability! Which I found surprisingly underwhelming in terms of difficulty.

English Practice Exam and Parent Teacher Interviews - Tue 07.08.18
I blame some of my performance in the Legal SAC on the Practice Exam that took place the day before. Took a lot away from my revision time. I don't really see the point in lumping an English practice exam in the middle of many SACs, which means nobody will even take the practice exam seriously (unless they spent heaps of time revising). The one on the last week of last term was an appropriate time, because SACs were done for the term, but not this time, no, no. I didn't do that well in this one, too. I left out a whole body paragraph for Medea and awfully wrote my language analysis. For the last parent teacher interviews for probably the rest of my life, it was quite shorter than usual and it was just the similar comments all around. I also received my results for the rest of the Unit 3 Practice Exams - Legal was 69%  Methods was 70% and Chemistry was 58%.

Legal SAC - Wed 08.08.18
I cried. I never cry over a SAC or SAC result but I cried at the end of the Legal Studies SAC. I had to excuse myself from Methods and the teacher gave me a pep talk afterwards next to the other class doing the Legal SAC. My methods teacher is so great. The reason I just broke was because I didn't answer a 6 mark question and lost at least one mark from an unfinished answer of another question. Time ran out. It was such a long SAC.out of 50. I prepared myself but not enough I guess. The 10 mark question is given before the SAC and we have time to prepare an answer. I didn't memorise my response in time so I spent too much time on it. In addition, the teacher told us we had to answer the questions for the significance of High Court cases like this: Case name, facts, issues, Section of the Constitution, outcome, and significance (important). But the marks were only out of three or four for each case and only five lines were given? (My practice responses prior were at least 10 lines and got full five marks). It was a tough day, but by the end of the school day I felt determined, then sad again going to sleep.

RMIT and ACU Open Days - Sun 12.08.18
Today I went to both universities with my sister again (and then another sister in ACU as she was a volunteer there) in city campuses for only around 1 hour each because of church and travel, as mentioned before, so all I had time to do was ask things and walk around. Both unis were good, but RMIT didn't have an ideal double degree with law, so if I ever plan to do just science and/or engineering I might prefer it.

VTAC Applications
I've made a VTAC account but I haven't applied yet. With four universities I've been to and the information I've gotten in mind, it will be really difficult for me to find my eight courses and put them in order of preference. There is one more university I will go to (Melbourne) but even for a shorter time than the other unis since something special is happening at church, so after that it's crunch time. There's so many things to take into account though, such as travel times, atmosphere and utilities of the university, fees and scholarships involved, and of course the courses and teaching. Life is moving so fast...

Subjects and Goals
Time to list some of my goals as of this moment (they're pretty high and I'm expecting less because they probably won't be achieved, but why aim low when you can pursue your ability to get higher):
Methods: 48+ (formerly 45+) and don't lose more than three out of 120 marks in both exams
Chemistry: 45+ (formerly 43+) and don't lose more than twelve out of 120 marks in the exam
Legal: 45+ (formerly 42+) and don't lose more than five out of 80 marks in the exam (formerly 15 marks)
Psychology: 46+ (formerly 41+) and don't lose more than eight out of 120 marks in the exam
English: 43+ (formerly 40+) and don't lose more than five out of 30 marks in the exam
Further: Achievement Complete - 48+ (formerly 47+ and formerly 45+)
Meanwhile almost everyone in my school aim for 50% in every task they do.
If I took a LOTE, I would choose Spanish or Italian, or possibly even my nationality's language which I can't speak but can only understand a bit.

A lot today, but that's it. |-/ <3 <3 <3 Watching the third (or fifth, whatever) season of Australian Survivor is taking up a lot of my time but it's a challenge