language analysis + text response (Frankenstein)

[beastquest1212]

Hi,
Here's a LA which I literally just wrote. Due to a potent curse as a slow writer and 1+ hour continuous writing seshs making me wanna die, this piece is only like half done.

I've also attached a Frankenstein essay which I did over a couple days (but still couldn't bring myself to finish). Would greatly appreciate feedback on either of these pieces and perhaps a score to see where I'm at.

Cheers and thanks

[OZLexico]

Hi there, I have attached some comments on your Frankenstein essay. I think that the content so far is quite good, however, you really should stick more closely to the main ideas you've started with in your introduction. These main ideas work as signpoasts for you, not just for the person reading and assessing your work. The other factor your should watch for is the fact that the essay topic itself does not refer to the Creature (except in the quote) so you don't need your whole essay to be focused on examples about him. Elizabeth also experiences "unfulfilled human need" when Justine is sentenced. Other minor characters also suffer harm from this (eg Justine's unloving family, Caroline's poverty as a young woman). You could even refer to the performance of the court seeking to remove harm by convicting Justine of William's murder in order to keep society safe from such violence.

[beastquest1212]

Hi OZLexico,

Thanks a lot for the comments, especially the structural ones regarding my arguments as it has made alot clearer to me how I should break down a prompt. And yeah I agree, I do think i was a little tunnel visioned with the focus on the creature. Will definitely keep the points about Justine and Elizabeth in mind for similar prompts in the future.

Thanks again!

[OZLexico]

I've also had a look at your Argument Analysis piece. I've attached some comments for you. I think the main problem is that you have not strongly stated the editor's main arguments. The persuasive devices are attached to these arguments. Broadly, there are appeals to patriotism and national pride, then there's a lot of contrast and comparison being used and in the later stages some inclusive and informal language and colloquialisms.  You possibly could spend more time annotating your analysis articles and this might help clarify the specific arguments. It's the statement of each argument that should feature in the topic sentence of your body paragraphs. Then you will be discussing how that argument is expressed - the language devices along with some brief quotes. This should be followed by comments on likely reader response.