Post by: ninwa on July 03, 2010, 02:47:22 pm
WARNING: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY NON-PC STUFF
Woman as explained by a physicist:
(http://www.adventureandrew.com/andrew/files/random/Woman_explained_archivos/image001.jpg)
Woman as explained by an engineer:
(http://www.adventureandrew.com/andrew/files/random/Woman_explained_archivos/image002.gif)
Woman as explained by a mathematician:
(http://www.adventureandrew.com/andrew/files/random/Woman_explained_archivos/image003.gif)
Woman as explained by a radio operator:
(http://www.adventureandrew.com/andrew/files/random/Woman_explained_archivos/image004.jpg)
Woman as explained by a military tactician:
(http://www.adventureandrew.com/andrew/files/random/Woman_explained_archivos/image005.gif)
Post by: ninwa on July 03, 2010, 02:48:52 pm
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A -R -D-W-O -R -K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K -N -O -W-L -E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5
= 96%
But,
A-T -T -I -T -U -D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
and,
B -U -L -L -S -H-I -T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S -S -K -I -S-S -I -N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7
= 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, its the bullshit and ass kissing that will put you over the top.
Post by: ninwa on July 03, 2010, 02:50:12 pm
The doctor after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things are not good. I have cancer, So let's head to the club, and have a martini.'
After three or four martinis, the two were feeling a little less sombre. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.
The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end; I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'
The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences, and beat a hasty retreat.
After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Mom, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?
'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'
And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'
Post by: ninwa on July 03, 2010, 02:50:47 pm
Post by: ninwa on July 03, 2010, 02:53:15 pm
Post by: ninwa on July 03, 2010, 02:54:15 pm
Post by: ninwa on July 03, 2010, 02:57:37 pm
Post by: ninwa on July 03, 2010, 03:01:49 pm
(http://img513.imageshack.us/img513/4209/att00000lg2.gif)
Post by: monokekie on July 03, 2010, 03:02:53 pm
BITCHES TILL THE END!
After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Mom, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?
'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'
And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'
(y)
Post by: ninwa on July 03, 2010, 03:09:22 pm
Post by: monokekie on July 03, 2010, 03:15:37 pm
Post by: ninwa on July 03, 2010, 03:16:23 pm
(http://www.epicfail.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/facebook-job-fail.jpg)
i feel sorry for the man's skin... but srsly, he's goodhaha, me too
Post by: ninwa on July 03, 2010, 03:24:08 pm
First date:
You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date:
You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date:
You get to have sex but only when she wants to.
5th Anniversary:
You both live in different states and hate the sight of each other.
IRISH WOMEN:
First Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
ITALIAN WOMEN:
First Date:
You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date:
You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date:
You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary:
You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary:
You find yourself a Mistress.
CHINESE WOMEN:
First date:
You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date:
You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date:
You don't even get to the third date and you've already realized nothing
is ever going to happen.
INDIAN WOMEN:
First date:
Meet her parents.
Second date:
Meet more relatives. No more dates. Set the date of the wedding.
Third date:
Wedding night.
After 30 years, you are still stuck in the relationship just because of the shame it will bring to the family and the thought of dividing the wealth if you break up.
BLACK WOMEN:
First Date:
You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date:
You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date:
You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date:
She's pregnant by someone other than you.
MEXICAN WOMEN:
First Date:
You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date:
She's pregnant.
Third Date:
She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.
ARAB WOMEN:
First Date:
Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire Arab community finds out.
Second Date:
Guy is shot dead.
No third date!!!
JEWISH WOMEN:
First Date:
You will have to spend all your money to impress
Second Date:
You will take a loan to keep the image
Third Date :
Your are broke, she finds someone wealthier
Post by: ninwa on July 03, 2010, 03:24:29 pm
His only son, Jimmy, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Dimitry,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Baba
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Baba,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Jimmy
At 4 a.m. the next morning, the local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Baba,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Jimmy
Post by: /0 on July 03, 2010, 03:34:55 pm
Post by: Whatlol on July 03, 2010, 03:45:13 pm
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6B8tPuW7TwQ/TAYmybtLGkI/AAAAAAAAQ-k/tIJHLXvzrro/s1600/hafnawhat.jpg)
hahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahaahahahha
Post by: ninwa on July 03, 2010, 03:56:10 pm
Post by: Cthulhu on July 03, 2010, 04:18:02 pm
Quote
Dave was bragging to his boss one day, 'You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.'
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, 'OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?'
'No drama boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.'
So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and Tom Cruise shouts, 'Dave! What's happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!'
Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical.
After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.
'No, no, just name anyone else,' Dave says.
'President Bush,' his boss quickly retorts.
'Yup,' Dave says, 'Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington .' And off they go.
At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up.'
Well, the boss is much shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.
'The Pope,' his boss replies.
'Sure!' says Dave. 'I've known the Pope for years.'
So off they fly to Rome.
Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican when Dave says, 'This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope.'
He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican .
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, 'What happened?'
His boss looks up and says, 'It was the final straw - you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, 'Who the f**ks that on the balcony with Dave?'
Quote
An astrophysicist has made an incredible, breakthrough discovery, and it gets press in all the papers and is heralded by his peers as well. Naturally, he embarks on a tour giving lectures at universities around the country.
For the tour, he has a driver to get him smoothly from one pace to the next, and with so much time together, the two become friends. After a couple of months and stops at dozens of locations, the driver says, "You know, you've got an easy gig."
"Is that so?" asks the scientist incredulously.
"Yeah, all you do is go from place to place giving the same talk, and you're making a fortune."
"Well, it's not as easy as it looks, I'll have you know. Do you think you could give a lecture on astrophysics?"
"I've heard your talk two-dozen times, I'm sure I could give it."
So a bet is made for a hundred dollars. The driver will attempt to give the speech. If it goes well, he wins. If it goes poorly, the professor will intervene, explain the bet humorously and triumphantly, and take over with no harm done to his reputation.
At the hotel, they dress in each others clothing, the scientist decked out in the driver's uniform and cap, and the driver wearing a suit and tie and spectacles.
At the hall, the driver does a stunningly good job of delivering the speech, and sitting in the back, the professor is astonished.
As the applause dies down, the driver begins to step down from the podium, but he's stopped by the voice of the host over the microphone saying, "I think we have some extra time. Does anyone have any questions for the professor."
Hands go up all over the auditorium. The driver begins to sweat, and the professor does too--it's gone on too long to reveal the ruse now.
The first questioner asks an impossibly complicated and technical question. Clearly, this person knows what he's talking about.
The professor puts his head in his hands, waiting for things to come unglued.
"Well," begins the driver, "I must say, that is the most idiotic question I have ever heard."
A stunned silence as the other would-be questioners put their hands down.
The man who'd posed the question is clearly unimpressed by this posturing, believing he's exposed a flaw in the theory.
"Really, that's an impossibly simplistic question, and I'm shocked that you felt like that was worth my time and the time of this audience."
He went on, "In fact, to show you just how stupid your question is, I'm going to let my driver in the back of the auditorium answer it for you."
Quote
A Father and his son are hiking in the grand canyon. The go around some bends, over some hills, and through some nooks. They round the bend and see a native american sitting on a rock.
The father points to the native american and says, "son, native americans have the best memory of any peoples in the world"
The young son thinks he's quite the smart one and goes up to the native american and says, "What did you have for breakfast last tuesday."
Without hesitation the Native American responds, "eggs." The son is impressed and goes on with the hike with his father.
30 years later the son is now a grown man, and is hiking the same trail with his own son. He goes around the same bends, over the same hills, and lo and behold, rounds the corner and there is that same native american on the same rock.
He's an older wiser man now, and will really test this native american. He walks up, raises his hand in greeting and says "HOW"
Native American responds, "Scrambled."
Post by: TrueLight on July 03, 2010, 04:36:25 pm
Post by: Whatlol on July 03, 2010, 04:37:46 pm
Post by: lynt.br on July 03, 2010, 04:45:36 pm
Post by: Cthulhu on July 03, 2010, 04:50:43 pm
Don't question it just read it.
Post by: Spreadbury on July 03, 2010, 05:36:04 pm
So you think you had a hard childhood? Well f*** you, its got nothing on mine. My mom practically kicked my ass out of the house before I even hit 13, and I never even met my dad. My only friend till I was 10 was this asshole pr*ck next store who was always beating the crap out of me and telling me I wasn’t worth anything. Its not even like I had a choice, the town had something like 9 people living in it, I kid you not. My entire adolescence was just moving around from place trying to get along with people who didn’t even want me. You think that’s the worst? My only friend was an Asian guy in his thirties or something, who only kept me around because he thought I could help him get laid. The only perk was that I also got to hang around with this cute ginger chick, she was flat as a pancake sure, but damn she was a total nymph. She must have been a sadist or something cause she always took pleasure in hitting me and telling me how she loved to get wet. But dear god the bane of my existence was this adult couple that I could NOT seem to avoid. You know these types of couples that are absolutely sickening, like they wear matching outfits and finish each other’s sentences? Yeah they were complete creepers, and they had a cat, which was at least twice as annoying as they were, I swear this thing would never shut the hell up. Like I said I ended up moving from town to town getting into fights with other kids my age, even adults from time to time. The only thing that kept me going was my dream to become a pokemon master.
I didn't actually get that until I read the post after it by Cthulhu. funny now though :D
Post by: QuantumJG on July 03, 2010, 06:08:01 pm
Post by: samuch on July 03, 2010, 10:06:39 pm
1st woman: Hi! Wanda.
2nd woman: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?
1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death...What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So, what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.
Post by: samuch on July 03, 2010, 10:23:50 pm
As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.
He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever..
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.
A few minutes later he returned with a cat.
The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room...
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
Post by: TrueTears on July 03, 2010, 10:29:21 pm
ROFLMAO
Post by: samuch on July 03, 2010, 10:30:08 pm
The undertaker tells the Australian Diplomats accompanying him, 'You can have him shipped home for £5,000,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land , for just £100.'
The Australian Diplomats go into a corner and discuss for a minute. They come back to the undertaker and tell him they want Kevin shipped home.
The undertaker is puzzled and asks, 'Why would you spend £5,000,000 to ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only £100? With the money you save you could help pay back some of the deficit, help pay for the Emissions Trading and get a face job for Julia or help the elderly'.
The Australian Diplomats replied, 'Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead.
We just can't take the risk.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving.
Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and
asks, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped Kevin Rudd, Wayne Swan, Anna Bligh and Julia Gillard. They're asking for a $310 million ransom.
Otherwise they're going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, taking up a collection."
The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?"
"About a litre."
Post by: samuch on July 03, 2010, 10:35:51 pm
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident
on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one.
Both of their cars are totally demolished, but
amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in
mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling
about women
drivers.
The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's
interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our
cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt.
This must be a sign from God that we should be
friends and live in peace for the rest of our
days.'
Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely,
this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women
shouldn't be allowed to drive.'
The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's
another miracle. My car is completely demolished
but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God
wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our
good fortune. She hands the bottle to the
man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and
drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to
the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and
hands it back to the man.
The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'
The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for
the police...'
Post by: physics on July 03, 2010, 10:38:40 pm
The girl was like drive faster and i'll take off my shirt.
The guy really wanted to see her shirtless so he drove faster.
At 70km/h the shirt came off. At 80km/h the pants went off.a dn etc
Then they crashed.
the girl was naked and the guy was stuck and needed help.
They guy said " climb out and get help for me"
girl says " i'm naked"
the guy passes him his shoes and told her to put in\t between her legs.
she did and ran onto the highway and waved for help.
A truckie stopped and siad what is the matter.
the girl said "my boyfriend is stuck help him out"
The truckie said" If his hat far up his a goner"
Post by: stonecold on July 03, 2010, 10:41:36 pm
one of my all time favourites... :P
Post by: samuch on July 03, 2010, 10:42:15 pm
He had a large billabong in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'
Holding the bucket up he said,
'I'm here to feed the crocodiles...'
Some old men can still think fast.
Post by: ninwa on July 04, 2010, 12:33:21 pm
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'
(can't believed I lol'd at that -_-)
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN - A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.
Post by: ninwa on July 04, 2010, 12:36:29 pm
1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.
2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.
9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
Post by: ninwa on July 04, 2010, 12:43:55 pm
(http://img576.imageshack.us/img576/4918/lookslike1.png)
(http://img706.imageshack.us/img706/8773/lookslike2.png)
(http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/346/lookslike3.png)
(http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/9698/lookslike4.png)
In fact, speaking of George Bush looks like a
(http://www.pensitoreview.com/images/art-george-bush-and-chimps.jpg)
Post by: Kennybhoy on July 04, 2010, 12:47:16 pm
Amidoinitrite?
Post by: ninwa on July 04, 2010, 12:48:43 pm
Post by: ninwa on July 04, 2010, 12:51:28 pm
Quote
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, Dad,what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'
The father thought for a moment, then answered, Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
Come back and tell me what you learn from that.
So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'
The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!'
The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'
The girl replied, 'Oh my Hell! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?'
The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'
'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know what a million bucks would buy?'
The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'
The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars ..
But 'realistically', we're living with two hookers and a homo.
Post by: ninwa on July 04, 2010, 12:56:14 pm
If condoms had sponsors...
(http://onlyfunnyjokes.com/bestoftheweb/photos/2010/04/nike.jpg)
(http://onlyfunnyjokes.com/bestoftheweb/2010/04/29/if-condoms-had-sponsors/mcdonalds/)
(http://onlyfunnyjokes.com/bestoftheweb/photos/2010/04/kfc.jpg)
(http://onlyfunnyjokes.com/bestoftheweb/photos/2010/04/pringles.jpg)
(http://onlyfunnyjokes.com/bestoftheweb/photos/2010/04/m-and-m-s.jpg)
(http://onlyfunnyjokes.com/bestoftheweb/photos/2010/04/bounty1.jpg)
(http://onlyfunnyjokes.com/bestoftheweb/photos/2010/04/energizer.jpg)
Post by: Kennybhoy on July 04, 2010, 01:05:00 pm
(or click here: http://vcenotes.com/forum/index.php/topic,27262.msg280170.html#msg280170)
What's the best thing about f%#^ing twenty six year olds?
There's twenty of them.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What's the best way to pick of Haitian chicks?
With a shovel.
I went to a Haitian club on the weekend. Everyone was trying to bring the house down.
A Haitian walked into a bar. The bar collapses.
Heard about the new Haitian boy band?
New Block on the Kids.
I heard about an Earthquake in Haiti...damage is estimated to be of tens of dollars.
I dumped my Haitian girlfriend. She's been crushed ever since.
What's the difference between a priest and acne?
Acne doesn't come in your face until you're 13.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Did you hear about Princess Diana on the radio?
She was also on the dashboard, mirrors and bonnet.
I guess Princess Di really lived up to her name.
What does Princess Diana turn into at midnight?
The wall.
What was the last thing going through Princess Diana's head?
The windscreen.
+Various assortment of racist jokes that everyone has heard 486541653453 times.
(http://biomed.brown.edu/Courses/BI108/BI108_2008_Groups/group06/Images/rabbit.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on July 04, 2010, 01:19:08 pm
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called "Cowkimon" and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the fuck out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive...
Post by: slothpomba on July 05, 2010, 03:22:44 am
"North Korea is making several demands in exchange for giving up their nuclear program, including a promise from America not to attack them. Which is a little strange because for us to attack them we would have to have slam dunk proof that they have weapons of mass destruction. I mean, for Gods sakes people, we're not maniacs. It would have to be an air-tight case. We wouldn't just come in there and start bombing you." --Jon Stewart
Long list of political cow jokes, like ninwas - http://www.thecapitol.net/Recommended/twocows.htm
Post by: ninwa on July 05, 2010, 11:37:41 am
In fact, watch all of his videos. This guy is a comedic genius.
http://www.youtube.com/user/spider75berkeley
Post by: Bohr on July 08, 2010, 11:03:34 pm
Sorry Bill, I'd rather kiss my new boss kthxbye
(http://img513.imageshack.us/img513/4209/att00000lg2.gif)
LOL ouch
Post by: ninwa on July 19, 2010, 08:26:26 pm
Read and learn, prospective VN trolls.
Post by: Hutchoo on August 28, 2010, 11:33:26 pm
The best troll ever: http://www.dontevenreply.com/all.php
Read and learn, prospective VN trolls.
I've read 2, woke up the family. T_T
Post by: ninwa on September 10, 2010, 05:07:25 pm
(http://www.geekologie.com/2010/08/19/historical-events-full.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on September 10, 2010, 05:22:32 pm
Post by: Mao on September 10, 2010, 11:32:24 pm
Post by: stonecold on September 10, 2010, 11:44:27 pm
Post by: ninwa on September 11, 2010, 02:14:02 am
Why did the chicken cross the road?
GRETCHEN WIENERS:
Oh my God. You can't just ask why the chicken crossed the road.
PARIS HILTON:
Huh?
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BUDDHA:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
THE BIBLE:
And God came down from the heavens and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road and there was much rejoicing.
HILLARY CLINTON:
I’m glad my staff asked you to ask me that question. I chaired the senate chicken investigation which sought to determine exactly why this is happening and what we can do to stop it. I have a great deal of experience with chickens. I’m also very very likable and nice, isn’t that right Mom?
HILLARY CLINTON (2):
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One, that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
DARWIN:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
The chicken did not cross the road. It transcended it.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the “other side.” That’s what “they” call it: the “other side.” Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like “the other side.” That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It’s as plain and simple as that.
SIGMUND FREUD:
The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious, selbstverständlich.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MACHIAVELLI:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH:
Finally, a question about something I know about. Down at the ranch in West Texas, we used to hunt chickens and they’d run across the road, where my brother would run over them with a truck. That’s what you call resourcingfulness, and I’m full of it.
PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH (2):
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
TONY BLAIR:
I agree with George.
JERRY SEINFELD:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway? What is wrong with that chicken?
DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road but why it crossed, I’ve not been told.
GROUCHO MARX:
Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.
KARL MARX:
To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle.
MR SCOTT:
'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning proprely. Ah canna work miracles, captain!
DESCARTES:
It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming anyway.
ZSA ZSA GABOR:
It probably crossed to get a better look at my legs, which thank goodness are good, dahling.
GREGOR MENDEL:
To get various strains of roads.
SALVADOR DALI:
The Fish.
HENRY DAVID THOREAU:
To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
JAMES TIBERIUS KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the Chickens on the other side of the road.
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the Chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
JULIUS CAESAR:
It came, it saw, it crossed.
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraqi ambassador):
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.
DOUGLAS ADAMS:
Forty-two.
ISAAC NEWTON:
Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.
JACQUES DERRIDA:
Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned,because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH:
And as we watch the lone chicken undertake this hazardous journey, we can only wonder at the awesome nature of this dangerous, yet necessary, migration.
HEISENBERG:
We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
MEL GIBSON:
Why do you think the chicken crossed the road? Because its a (censored) Jew. Jews think they can just (censored) cross the street whenever they want. Jewish chickens are responsible for all the wars in the world...are you a Jew??
C++ PROGRAMMER:
chicken->CrossRoad() was called from chicken->GetOtherSide()
SADDAM HUSSEIN:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
CARL JUNG:
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
GOETHE:
The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
NIETZSCHE:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
RICHARD NIXON:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
PLATO:
For the greater good.
RONALD REAGAN:
I forget.
JEAN-PAUL SARTRE:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
MARK TWAIN:
The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
VOLTAIRE:
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
JESSICA SIMPSON:
Why would he be one a road, I thought chickens lived in the ocean?
GEORGE ORWELL:
Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.
HAMLET:
That is not the question.
O.J. SIMPSON:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
BAHA MEN (band):
WHO LET THE CHICKENS OUT.....ku...ku..ku..kuku
MICROSOFT:
The Windows Chicken can cross any given road in eleven different ways, not counting the use of wizards who will actually cross the road for the chicken. If you can remember all eleven ways, you can become a Microsoft Certified Poultry Specialist (MCPS). If you come up with new way for the Windows Chicken to cross the road, you can become a Microsoft Certified Solution Provider (MCSP.) But if you come up with a whole new chicken altogether, then you will become a Microsoft Certified Enemy (MSROADKILL).
MOSES:
Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the road, and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own preservation.
BASIL FAWLTY:
Oh, don't mind that chicken. It's from Barcelona.
THE SPHINX:
You tell me.
Post by: ninwa on September 15, 2010, 04:53:11 pm
Post by: Furbob on September 23, 2010, 08:00:48 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on September 23, 2010, 08:09:25 pm
(http://img828.imageshack.us/img828/8958/epicaye.jpg)
Post by: vea on September 23, 2010, 08:24:52 pm
The best troll ever: http://www.dontevenreply.com/all.php
Read and learn, prospective VN trolls.
THIS HAS GOT ME GOING FOR ALMOST AN HR ALREADY LOL
Post by: ninwa on September 24, 2010, 09:40:44 pm
(it's that guy who made the news ages ago for trying to pay his bills with a spider drawing)
Post by: ninwa on September 24, 2010, 09:54:29 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on September 24, 2010, 09:57:45 pm
ROFL
Post by: humph on September 24, 2010, 10:38:11 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on September 25, 2010, 12:05:13 am
LOLOL at the "Example"
Post by: ninwa on October 10, 2010, 06:43:00 pm
A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
God replied: "I didn't fucking recognize you."
Post by: Hutchoo on October 10, 2010, 06:54:16 pm
Post by: ninwa on October 12, 2010, 12:05:53 am
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs289.snc4/40807_456489713161_574223161_6240363_3288759_n.jpg)
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs412.snc4/47497_458584743161_574223161_6282882_8349808_n.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on October 12, 2010, 12:07:35 am
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs111.snc1/4655_210464360383_833010383_7226005_1874981_n.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on October 14, 2010, 03:07:32 am
Post by: ninwa on October 17, 2010, 01:10:03 am
Post by: cypriottiger on October 19, 2010, 12:57:42 am
ok i got a few, and sorry to those who will most likely be offended
Post by: milkcarton on October 24, 2010, 10:53:35 am
* Coarse Language
(http://i.imgur.com/J8C6B.gif)
Post by: ninwa on October 24, 2010, 01:24:34 pm
(http://img651.imageshack.us/img651/9867/winderz.jpg)
(http://img827.imageshack.us/img827/4955/sudoku.gif)
this picture was the "Introduction to sexual offences" Powerpoint slide in my criminal law lecture last year *sigh*
(http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/9185/safetyfirstf.jpg)
(http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/5697/religionflowchart.jpg)
(http://img839.imageshack.us/img839/2029/manslaughter.jpg)
(http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/740/flowchartmarriage.gif)
(http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/5793/failatfail.jpg)
(http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/2844/blasphemys.jpg)
(http://img534.imageshack.us/img534/2905/atheists.jpg)
(http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/1199/404notfound.jpg)
Post by: Spreadbury on October 24, 2010, 05:56:41 pm
(http://img842.imageshack.us/img842/3263/cpw8b.gif)
* Coarse Language
(http://i.imgur.com/J8C6B.gif)
lol to the first thing... what are you on about to the second thing?
and I love ninwa's motivational posters, especially 'Blasphemy' :D
Post by: milkcarton on October 24, 2010, 07:04:37 pm
Read the first line on top, then the pokemon name, then the bottom line. For instance;
This shit is onix-ceptable. :P
Lame, but it'll make do :)
Post by: Spreadbury on October 24, 2010, 10:34:27 pm
Post by: ninwa on November 01, 2010, 04:47:58 pm
Doctor: What? It is 2 don't waste my valuable time...I have lives to save and nurses to chat up.
Lawyer: I fail to see the validity of this question? Beyond reasonable doubt, I put it you that it is 2.
Nurse: (giggle) Oh don't be silly it is 2.
Rap Dancer: You jivin' me man? Ev ree bidy knows it's twooooooooooo (nervous laugh and a piercing stare)
Teacher: (with a look of disbelief and in condescending tone) To the back of the class...it's 2, you silly boy.
Accountant: (slight pause and a grin) Well, what would you like it to add up to?
Post by: pi on November 01, 2010, 07:52:45 pm
(http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j124/ffxboywonder/n514870770_1242202_145.jpg)
(http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j124/ffxboywonder/n514870770_1164696_7688.jpg)
(http://www.funnypicturesworld.com/img/funny/funny0472.jpg)
(http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j124/ffxboywonder/n514870770_1188550_7999.jpg)
Post by: physics on November 01, 2010, 08:57:35 pm
what do you call a woman with 2 brain cells? pregnant
how many men does it take to change a light bulb? let the bitch cook in the dark
Post by: Spreadbury on November 02, 2010, 01:57:35 pm
i've always enjoyed this motivaltional poster :)
Post by: BubbleWrapMan on November 02, 2010, 05:43:19 pm
Post by: milkcarton on November 02, 2010, 09:21:04 pm
1 ) "Get Directions
2) Starting point: Japan
3) End Point: China
4) Read number 43.
I guess everyone has a bit of Bond within them.
Post by: _avO on November 02, 2010, 09:22:53 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on November 02, 2010, 09:29:51 pm
Go to Google maps
1 ) "Get Directions
2) Starting point: Japan
3) End Point: China
4) Read number 43.
I guess everyone has a bit of Bond within them.
Saw this on facebook.. Laughed for like 10 minutes LOL.
Post by: Whatlol on November 03, 2010, 06:12:01 pm
Post by: Gloamglozer on November 03, 2010, 11:47:20 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on November 17, 2010, 09:38:14 pm
Last one might be offensive?
WTF LOL. NVM
Post by: ninwa on November 19, 2010, 11:36:31 am
Stories from the Internet ... That No One Wants to Experience by the Swiss Federal Data Protection and Information Commissioner lol
(http://img44.imageshack.us/img44/8119/noobgo.png)
(http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/3526/toomuchtime.jpg)
(http://img690.imageshack.us/img690/9423/timepoll.jpg)
(http://img220.imageshack.us/img220/9425/frozencat.jpg)
(http://img526.imageshack.us/img526/4125/firemanproblem.jpg)
(http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/3081/afroduck.jpg)
(http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/7696/coleslawr.jpg)
(http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/3468/canbottledwater.jpg)
Sorry, this one's not funny but I like it:
(http://img190.imageshack.us/img190/8326/sads.gif)
Post by: MuggedByReality on November 19, 2010, 11:56:18 am
(http://www.subjectives.co.uk/img/lassie.jpg)
Post by: MuggedByReality on November 19, 2010, 12:06:40 pm
My neighbour said to me: "I've got the bubonic plague!"
I said: "Don't give me that!"
Post by: Chavi on November 19, 2010, 12:20:45 pm
(http://www.marcofolio.net/images/stories/fun/imagedump/demotivational_posters/chances.jpg)
(http://www.marcofolio.net/images/stories/fun/imagedump/demotivational_posters/cute.jpg)
(http://www.marcofolio.net/images/stories/fun/imagedump/demotivational_posters/endings.jpg)
(http://www.marcofolio.net/images/stories/fun/imagedump/demotivational_posters/politics.jpg)
(http://www.marcofolio.net/images/stories/fun/imagedump/demotivational_posters/retards.jpg)
(http://www.marcofolio.net/images/stories/fun/imagedump/demotivational_posters/simplicity.jpg)
(http://www.marcofolio.net/images/stories/fun/imagedump/demotivational_posters/ysoab.jpg)
(http://aoos.dk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/malaysia.jpg)
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_akLHpeO7qyA/THL9HM23orI/AAAAAAAACZ4/ZeCDMcDiqGc/s1600/demotivational-posters-they-see-me-operating-my-automobile.jpg)
(http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/demotivational_poster_11.jpg)
(http://crujonessociety.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/waterballoon-demotivational-poster.jpg)
(http://afrocityblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/perception-demotivational-poster-37483.jpg)
My favourite
(http://208.90.155.93/2009/05/07/jews.web.png)
Post by: ninwa on November 19, 2010, 02:50:47 pm
(http://img718.imageshack.us/img718/8277/touching.jpg)
(http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/3474/horsepowerm.jpg)
(http://img840.imageshack.us/img840/9198/thereyet.jpg)
(http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/34/directions.jpg)
(http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/5015/santad.jpg)
(http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/4931/omnipotentsauce.jpg)
(http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/836/infov.jpg)
(http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/2663/bagv.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on November 21, 2010, 12:29:06 pm
(http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/5492/beck2.jpg)
(http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/7274/beck3z.jpg)
(http://img580.imageshack.us/img580/1298/beck4.jpg)
(http://img823.imageshack.us/img823/8076/beck5.jpg)
(http://img543.imageshack.us/img543/4561/beck6.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on November 21, 2010, 12:31:27 pm
Post by: MuggedByReality on November 21, 2010, 12:36:36 pm
^gold
Post by: ninwa on November 21, 2010, 12:43:24 pm
(http://humourpic.com/art/fullview/Unique.jpeg)
(http://humourpic.com/art/fullview/Situational-Awareness.jpg)
(http://humourpic.com/art/fullview/ammunition.jpg)
(http://humourpic.com/art/fullview/Breastfeeding.jpg)
(http://humourpic.com/art/fullview/Chatroulette-Saw-Vendetta.jpg)
(http://humourpic.com/art/fullview/Ineptitude.jpg)
(http://weblog.sinteur.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/sun-shade-sunshade-hats-demotivational-poster-1252035291.jpg)
(http://humourpic.com/art/fullview/Female-Gamers.jpg) (hmph)
Post by: eeps on November 21, 2010, 12:58:03 pm
(http://icarus.diyfail.com/content/6282/resized/fail_million.jpg?1267111965)
Post by: ninwa on November 21, 2010, 01:01:01 pm
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lbvkjmRrPe1qc371xo1_500.png)
/facepalm
Post by: eeps on November 21, 2010, 01:07:54 pm
(http://files.sharenator.com/soccer_fail1_Soccer_fails-s300x439-42764-580.jpg)
(http://www.failfunnies.com/37/images/online-purchase-fail.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on November 21, 2010, 01:24:46 pm
(http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lb9luzpzVt1qzeucjo1_500.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on November 21, 2010, 03:32:09 pm
Post by: ninwa on November 21, 2010, 03:57:59 pm
Post by: ninwa on November 22, 2010, 03:34:21 pm
Post by: eeps on November 22, 2010, 03:43:55 pm
(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/c4e0a43e-5192-489a-852b-2820ff43c18f.jpg)
(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/c5e13571-436e-41af-b453-9d2a9a38d391.jpg)
Post by: pi on November 22, 2010, 03:45:58 pm
EPL.11.4ever.'s pic is also ;D
Love this bogan pic:
(http://www.funnypictures.net.au/images/darwin-awards-nominees-men-in-a-pool-with-electric1.jpg)
Post by: eeps on November 22, 2010, 07:00:13 pm
(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/63d6aecc-576c-4e1b-b0d3-2cb51226f888.jpg)
(http://engrishfunny.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/engrish-funny-so-many-choices.jpg)
(http://engrishfunny.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/engrish-funny-engrish.jpg)
Post by: eeps on November 23, 2010, 11:26:52 am
(http://www.failpictures.com/photos/5525_bigbabyjebus_channel_7_newscaster.jpg)
Post by: Mao on November 23, 2010, 07:37:02 pm
Post by: Mao on November 23, 2010, 07:38:25 pm
Post by: stonecold on November 23, 2010, 07:40:20 pm
.
The camera one is priceless!!!
Post by: eeps on November 23, 2010, 07:44:05 pm
(http://www.hemmy.net/images/interesting/fail05.jpg)
(http://thesocietyofthespectacle.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/fail-owned-full-parking-lot-sign-fail.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on November 23, 2010, 07:49:14 pm
The picture one is also LOL.
Seriously though, Jim has so much shiet!
Post by: MuggedByReality on November 26, 2010, 01:07:07 pm
Our PM made a joke fit for this thread, poking fun at the diminutive stature of the Speaker of the House of Commons (Mr Bercow)
"Mr Cameron recounted to his audience how Health Minister Simon Burns had recently backed his ministerial car into the Speaker’s official limousine in Speaker’s Court.
An angry Mr Bercow descended from his state apartments, Mr Cameron said, and shouted at Mr Burns: ‘I’m not happy!’
‘To which Mr Burns replied: “Well, which one [of the Seven Dwarfs] are you?'"
Post by: ninwa on November 26, 2010, 01:08:22 pm
Post by: Souljette_93 on November 26, 2010, 08:21:49 pm
Post by: /0 on November 28, 2010, 01:38:15 am
(http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/2804/1290508721232.jpg)
(http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/4892/meanwhileontheinternet.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on November 28, 2010, 02:00:54 am
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Post by: pi on November 28, 2010, 11:00:55 am
(http://ui05.gamespot.com/708/funnypictureshamstereatscheese_2.jpg)
(http://plankhead.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/fail-owned-itune-nuke-fail.jpg)
(http://files.sharenator.com/epic_fail_epic_fail_george_bush_president_u_s_a_usa_celebrit_demotivational_poster_1211157963_Copy_political_demotivational_posters-s640x651-91865.jpg)
Post by: pi on November 28, 2010, 08:38:44 pm
(http://haha.nu/files/uploads/2006/funny-math/01.jpg)
(http://haha.nu/files/uploads/2006/funny-math/03.jpg)
(http://haha.nu/files/uploads/farm1.static.flickr.com/170/371722884_a8d1da8f44_o.gif)
(http://haha.nu/files/uploads/2006/funny-math/05.gif)
(http://haha.nu/files/uploads/2006/funny-math/06.jpg)
(http://haha.nu/files/uploads/2006/funny-math/07.jpg)
(http://static.funnyjunk.com/pictures/math_jokes.jpg)
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/matrix_transform.png)
(http://lolpics.se/pics/68.jpg)
Post by: eeps on November 28, 2010, 08:43:44 pm
(http://fast1.onesite.com/community.allhiphop.com/user/purecomp/epic_fail_tattoo_demotivational-poster.jpg)
(http://www.newfunnypictures.com/funnypictures/soccer1.jpg)
Post by: che0106 on November 29, 2010, 01:33:13 pm
Post by: eeps on November 29, 2010, 08:18:31 pm
(http://failblog.wordpress.com/files/2009/03/fail-owned-shopping-cart.jpg)
(http://images.starcraftmazter.net/4chan/fail/welcome_to_fail.jpg)
Post by: Spreadbury on December 01, 2010, 01:43:03 pm
Post by: Mao on December 01, 2010, 07:22:11 pm
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1198.snc4/155089_474980797725_761147725_5674607_8371911_n.jpg)
Post by: MuggedByReality on December 03, 2010, 01:55:33 am
A friend/family member who sometimes works as a bouncer was confronted with a guy trying to be smart regarding entry.
My friend: "Mate, don't be pedantic."
random guy: "It's not pedantic, it's semantic"
Post by: ninwa on December 03, 2010, 10:43:31 am
Post by: ninwa on December 03, 2010, 01:14:52 pm
best comment:
"Does Quantas fly to Quatar?"
Post by: MuggedByReality on December 03, 2010, 01:17:38 pm
My Dad's "laptop" morphed into a lapdance
Post by: chansthename on December 03, 2010, 02:04:48 pm
"Does Quantas fly to Quatar?"
Sorry but I absolutely must do this: QANTAS, Queensland And Northern Territory Air Service
Post by: pi on December 03, 2010, 04:56:07 pm
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_hEqNs8hAyUY/Rz1JTvCVNxI/AAAAAAAAA0U/N4rTzzbFgms/s320/Bogan%252520monopoly.jpg)
(http://j-walkblog.com/old/images/advancetoneverland.jpg)
(http://www.collider.com/uploads/imageGallery/Monopoly/monopoly_funny_chance_card_02.jpg)
(http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:2dBte8OU0hSkKM:http://www.dribbleglass.com/monopoly/mono2.jpg&t=1)
Post by: Spreadbury on December 03, 2010, 05:24:11 pm
Monopoly jokes:
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_hEqNs8hAyUY/Rz1JTvCVNxI/AAAAAAAAA0U/N4rTzzbFgms/s320/Bogan%252520monopoly.jpg)
The "just visiting" should have been a conjugal visit or something.
Moderator action: removed real name, sorry for the inconvenience
Post by: Hutchoo on December 04, 2010, 03:10:15 pm
Post by: ninwa on December 04, 2010, 05:01:20 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZQdydWtGis
Post by: Mao on December 04, 2010, 05:14:25 pm
Us Asians are so fucking cool.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZQdydWtGis
I'd choose the smoking slutty slut any day xD
Post by: Hutchoo on December 04, 2010, 05:56:51 pm
Us Asians are so fucking cool.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZQdydWtGis
I'd choose the smoking slutty slut any day xD
WOAH, that made me LOL and feel sorry for them at the same time.
That guy is an idiotface.
Post by: Whatlol on December 04, 2010, 06:09:31 pm
Post by: TrueLight on December 04, 2010, 09:51:18 pm
Post by: 98.40_for_sure on December 04, 2010, 10:07:18 pm
Post by: ninwa on December 04, 2010, 10:39:12 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on December 04, 2010, 10:40:30 pm
I think she was referring to the fact that she was there to look after the guy when he was sick whereas screaming lady was "busy"
This.
Post by: stonecold on December 04, 2010, 11:34:17 pm
I liked this comment too:
"The water splash was pretty good timing." haha
Post by: 98.40_for_sure on December 05, 2010, 12:24:12 am
Post by: MuggedByReality on December 07, 2010, 12:58:37 pm
A letter to a newspaper here:
SIR – I find it intensely humiliating to be asked by airport security staff if I have packed my own bag. This forces one to admit, usually within earshot of others, that I no longer have a manservant to do the chore for me. Gentlemen should be able to answer such questions with a disdainful: "Of course not! Do I look like that sort of person?"
Post by: MuggedByReality on December 07, 2010, 02:34:45 pm
On the radio yesterday, our Cultural Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, was introduced as: Hultural Secretary Jeremy C***
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23904247-presenters-gaffe-was-a-spoonerism-just-waiting-to-happen.do
Post by: QuantumJG on December 07, 2010, 02:35:51 pm
found these
(http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j124/ffxboywonder/n514870770_1242202_145.jpg)
LOL!!!!
I literally can't stop laughing!
Moderator action: removed real name, sorry for the inconvenience
Post by: ninwa on December 08, 2010, 03:10:56 am
(http://i.imgur.com/tX8M3.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/b08Us.png)
Post by: MuggedByReality on December 08, 2010, 04:06:07 am
World's douchiest phone message. Worth listening to in its entirety, it gets better :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXPvN_OMZXc
Post by: TrueLight on December 08, 2010, 04:14:17 am
abused in childhood! LOL :idiot2:
Post by: Hutchoo on December 09, 2010, 03:50:03 am
Might offend? :-\
Post by: ninwa on December 09, 2010, 03:32:10 pm
Post by: ninwa on December 09, 2010, 03:46:12 pm
Post by: Cthulhu on December 09, 2010, 03:59:35 pm
Marijuana Xmas tree seized from 'hippie' by German policeLET THE MAN HAVE HIS DAMN TREE.
Marijuana is less addictive and causes less damage to someones health than tobacco and tobacco is the legal one.
Post by: Fyrefly on December 10, 2010, 12:58:48 am
Marijuana Xmas tree seized from 'hippie' by German policeLET THE MAN HAVE HIS DAMN TREE.
Marijuana is less addictive and causes less damage to someones health than tobacco and tobacco is the legal one.
I clickied the link hoping to see a picture of said marijuana tree... DISAPPOINTMENTIFIED.
Post by: burbs on December 10, 2010, 02:04:16 am
(http://johndiesattheend.com/lolcats/mysword.jpg)
(http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t294/StuxMach/stfujesus.jpg)
(http://img39.imageshack.us/img39/802/1642k.jpg)
(http://6.media.tumblr.com/2w9XXXqFFr30xxuk3tVBOuxMo1_400.jpg)
(http://13.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kw7o6cZ3NM1qzmowao1_500.jpg)
(http://imgur.com/CV5IZ.jpg)
FINALLY,
(http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Oprahs-Bees.gif)
Post by: cypriottiger on December 10, 2010, 06:53:21 pm
i dont know how to post the picture directly soo....
Post by: cypriottiger on December 10, 2010, 06:58:26 pm
Post by: chrisjb on December 10, 2010, 09:00:36 pm
Q: What happened to the sardines that went to queensland?
A: They ended up in CAIRNS!
Also, any FBF fans in the house?
(http://wtfhub.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/bachelor-frog-toilet-paper.jpg)
(http://memegenerator.net/Foul-Bachelor-Frog/ImageMacro/1163500/Foul-Bachelor-Frog-dad-types-www-PANIC.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on December 11, 2010, 02:40:08 am
Post by: 98.40_for_sure on December 11, 2010, 02:41:34 am
Post by: taiga on December 11, 2010, 02:52:22 am
I don't get it ninwa... "take a picture me dirty"?
Should be a different output
Post by: 98.40_for_sure on December 11, 2010, 02:54:22 am
I don't get it ninwa... "take a picture me dirty"?
Should be a different output
Ahh i got it... can't use the 'detect language' thing
Post by: vexx on December 11, 2010, 03:23:20 am
Some of those posted are amazingg.
Post by: Ghost! on December 11, 2010, 03:28:55 am
Post by: ninwa on December 11, 2010, 02:12:11 pm
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.
Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two chunks of bread.
Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
And turned its wool to nylon.
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.
Mary had a little skirt
With splits right up the sides
And everywhere that Mary went
The boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front
..But she didn't wear that one often.
Post by: burbs on December 11, 2010, 02:14:20 pm
Post by: kamil9876 on December 11, 2010, 03:20:04 pm
(http://imgur.com/7pi0l.jpg)
"Take a picture for me slut"
I then translated that back into french, and into english again and got:
"Take a picture for me bitch"
Was interested to see what another iteration would yield but unfortunately that one is stable :(
Post by: Mao on December 11, 2010, 04:00:31 pm
(http://imgur.com/7pi0l.jpg)
"Take a picture for me slut"
I then translated that back into french, and into english again and got:
"Take a picture for me bitch"
Was interested to see what another iteration would yield but unfortunately that one is stable :(
http://www.translationparty.com/
Post by: Mao on December 11, 2010, 04:02:03 pm
take a dirty picture for me --> my beautiful picture.
Post by: vexx on December 11, 2010, 04:07:40 pm
i tried it with
"Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore." (edgar allan poe :D)
and ended up with
"After a terrible night, I have a number of quaint, curious volume of forgotten lore poor fatigue, please bring the pain."
Post by: ninwa on December 11, 2010, 05:48:49 pm
Post by: ninwa on December 12, 2010, 05:51:08 pm
Post by: _avO on December 12, 2010, 06:09:34 pm
Why Americans should never be allowed to travel
Quote
A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggageHaha they're pretty funny
Post by: ninwa on December 12, 2010, 06:15:09 pm
Post by: _avO on December 12, 2010, 06:15:52 pm
Post by: Blakhitman on December 12, 2010, 06:18:23 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on December 12, 2010, 07:23:36 pm
Saw this and lol'd
(http://img706.imageshack.us/img706/4631/puremath.png)
Post by: Ghost! on December 12, 2010, 11:34:47 pm
(http://pics.kuvaton.com/kuvei/save_energy2.jpg)
OMGOMGHAHAHAHAHH x1000
Post by: ninwa on December 13, 2010, 02:06:22 am
Post by: ninwa on December 13, 2010, 02:34:20 am
Post by: burbs on December 13, 2010, 02:37:40 am
Post by: /0 on December 13, 2010, 02:57:56 am
Post by: burbs on December 13, 2010, 02:58:51 am
Post by: Hutchoo on December 13, 2010, 04:32:56 am
It takes me 20minutes to write the joke so I cbf'd.It was such a wonderful joke though.
Post by: binders on December 13, 2010, 07:42:09 am
A young man, having asked a young lady on a date, was naturally nervous. He decided to consult his father concerning what he should do to fill those moments of awkward silence.
His father, ready with an answer, said: “Son, when it comes to conversation, all there is to talk about comes down to the three Fs: Food, Family, and Filosophy. Just remember the three Fs and you should have plenty to talk about.”
The night of the date came and so did the inevitable moment of awkward silence. Recalling his father’s advice, the young man decided to ask a question about food.
“Mary, do you like asparagus?”
“No,” she replied. “I don’t really care for it.”
With his question about food not having provided enough material for conversation, he turned to ask her a question about family.
“Mary, do you have a brother?”
“No,” she replied. “I don’t have a brother.”
Still determined to kick-start a conversation, he asked her another question.
“Mary, if you had a brother, would he like asparagus?”
Post by: ninwa on December 14, 2010, 04:32:24 pm
Post by: Spreadbury on December 14, 2010, 06:16:10 pm
Post by: Ghost! on December 14, 2010, 10:17:43 pm
Post by: QuantumJG on December 15, 2010, 12:03:00 am
(http://imgur.com/7pi0l.jpg)
Lol
Post by: Cianyx on December 17, 2010, 10:30:45 am
Post by: pi on December 17, 2010, 11:00:05 am
Post by: Fyrefly on December 17, 2010, 12:33:48 pm
^wtf...
+1
xD
Moderator action: removed real name, sorry for the inconvenience
Post by: Mao on December 17, 2010, 04:32:35 pm
Post by: ninwa on December 17, 2010, 05:34:05 pm
1. WON'T BEAT ME UP
2. WON'T RUN AWAY
3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED
For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail...all to no avail. None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications.
Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat. Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do you want?"
"Hi," said the man "Your search is over, for I am the man of your dreams.
I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no legs, so I can't run away."
The old woman asked, "What makes you think you're so great in bed?"
To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
Post by: ninwa on December 17, 2010, 05:35:44 pm
'No', he replies, 'I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it.'
The intrigued woman says, 'A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?'
'It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me,' he explains.
'What's it telling you now?'
'Well, it says you're not wearing any panties...'
The woman giggles and replies, 'Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!'
The man explains, 'Damn thing must be an hour fast.'
Post by: ninwa on December 17, 2010, 05:45:22 pm
To: All Al Queda Fighters
Subject: The Cave
Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that!
However, while we are fighting a few concerns:
First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation (a health and safety issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning rota...have you? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the halal toaster).
Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the shit out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the 'Wassup' thing. Thanks.
Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the infidels' bat and ball games. Please do not chant "Ossy Ossy Ossy, Oi Oi Oi" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.
Five: Graffiti. To whoever wrote "OSAMA F**KS DONKEYS" on the group toilet wall, it's a lie. The donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.
Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is a grey area.)
Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.
Love you lots, Group Hug. Os.
PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag. Cut it out, it's not funny anymore.
Post by: Cthulhu on December 17, 2010, 07:12:05 pm
Post by: ninwa on December 18, 2010, 06:06:43 pm
Post by: burbs on December 18, 2010, 06:32:24 pm
Post by: Cianyx on December 22, 2010, 03:17:11 pm
Not sure where to put this, but I found it quite hilarious
Post by: /0 on December 24, 2010, 04:11:10 am
http://vice.typepad.com/vice_magazine/2009/07/london-babes-of-the-bnp.html
Not sure where to put this, but I found it quite hilarious
lol that's real?
Post by: kat148 on December 24, 2010, 05:22:55 am
(http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2010/10/rickrolled-paper.jpg)
Post by: QuantumJG on December 24, 2010, 09:02:46 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAgZlwSGYE8&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Post by: ninwa on December 24, 2010, 12:27:31 pm
http://vice.typepad.com/vice_magazine/2009/07/london-babes-of-the-bnp.html
Not sure where to put this, but I found it quite hilarious
surely that can't be real...
Quote
Sure thing. What ethnicity would you most like to make love to?
Oh, God, British.
Outside of that?
Say… black.
Post by: Cianyx on December 24, 2010, 12:38:11 pm
Quote
But would it be possible to maybe come to a compromise with a noble race like the Chinese? Perhaps keep them on as a sort of servant class?
Yeah. I wouldn’t mind them if they actually worked and didn’t take all of our jobs, basically. I wouldn’t mind them if they contributed something to this country.
Post by: echenzi on December 25, 2010, 12:35:25 am
A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says,
"I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough".
"Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says. "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her".
Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like hell they're getting divorced", she shouts, "I'll take care of this".
She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?"and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Done! They're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way."
Post by: ariawuu on December 25, 2010, 12:44:55 am
Post by: echenzi on December 25, 2010, 10:29:47 am
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for is annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Post by: brightsky on December 25, 2010, 10:51:41 am
SANTA'S BAD DAY
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for is annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Haha, I get it. ^^
Post by: echenzi on December 25, 2010, 10:59:47 am
Post by: ninwa on January 01, 2011, 09:07:40 pm
1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? **** it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my *** everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
Post by: Cianyx on January 02, 2011, 06:51:32 pm
Post by: ninwa on January 03, 2011, 05:29:03 pm
Post by: Fyrefly on January 03, 2011, 08:10:52 pm
*face palm*
Post by: ninwa on January 07, 2011, 02:51:00 pm
Post by: ninwa on January 07, 2011, 03:30:03 pm
(http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/7618/schoolgirlw.jpg)
(http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/8206/planahead.jpg)
(http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/4875/pedoseal.jpg)
(http://img708.imageshack.us/img708/4084/patient.jpg)
(http://img831.imageshack.us/img831/6221/optimism.jpg)
(http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/352/oldmant.jpg)
(http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/8569/medici.jpg)
(http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/2007/maxcap.jpg)
(http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/566/massager.jpg)
(http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/3062/kidsbong.jpg)
(http://img197.imageshack.us/img197/788/ironyc.jpg)
(http://img838.imageshack.us/img838/9637/highlandert.jpg)
(http://img802.imageshack.us/img802/4401/fano.jpg)
(http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/4469/englishpc.jpg)
(http://img337.imageshack.us/img337/2372/ducku.jpg)
(http://img694.imageshack.us/img694/2346/cakeen.jpg)
(http://img842.imageshack.us/img842/673/cableh.jpg)
(http://img814.imageshack.us/img814/8527/bombprank.jpg)
Post by: pi on January 07, 2011, 09:36:33 pm
(http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/demotivational-posters-natural-selection-yes-it-do.jpg)
(http://scienceblogs.com/worldsfair/upload/2006/09/ychromosome.gif)
(http://)
Post by: Cianyx on January 07, 2011, 09:58:51 pm
Post by: Mao on January 08, 2011, 01:48:25 am
(http://www.angryduck.com/pictures/2010_11/Stop_Music_Piracy.jpg)
Wait what? All of a sudden downloading music became more appealing...? :P The best things in life come free eh?
Post by: burbs on January 09, 2011, 12:25:16 am
Keep the tip.
I know its not politically correct, shut up.
Post by: Spreadbury on January 09, 2011, 02:10:03 am
"Slow Suicide"
Post by: Russ on January 09, 2011, 10:04:34 am
Big picture clicky here
Post by: /0 on January 10, 2011, 02:15:11 am
(http://img560.imageshack.us/img560/4754/0997be2a148af83669b9cae.jpg)
(http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/2128/1290616506315.jpg)
(http://img834.imageshack.us/img834/9461/a7bf684f44f2050534aeae8.jpg)
(http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/455/trollphysics.png)
(http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/9504/1293675195117.jpg)
(http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/5725/1293503735088.png)
Post by: Russ on January 10, 2011, 10:29:53 am
Also, that pi=4 one is genius, I haven't seen that before.
Post by: pi on January 10, 2011, 05:36:24 pm
Also, that pi=4 one is genius, I haven't seen that before.
Exactly what I thought! Good one /0
Also like the socks one
Post by: kamil9876 on January 10, 2011, 06:32:03 pm
Post by: ninwa on February 01, 2011, 04:46:43 am
(http://i.imgur.com/WNrie.jpg)
(story here: http://www.chron.com/CDA/archives/archive.mpl/2007_4308918/police-charge-man-with-trespassing.html)
Post by: ninwa on February 08, 2011, 08:16:40 pm
Post by: _avO on February 08, 2011, 08:43:31 pm
Post by: pi on February 09, 2011, 03:10:46 pm
Post by: ninwa on February 24, 2011, 04:45:07 am
Post by: ninwa on February 28, 2011, 02:13:00 pm
Post by: ninwa on February 28, 2011, 04:49:02 pm
Post by: chrisjb on March 01, 2011, 11:20:14 pm
(http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/~bgzimmer/sows.jpg)This was on media watch a few weeks ago
Post by: ninwa on March 03, 2011, 05:34:05 pm
Post by: pi on March 03, 2011, 05:40:16 pm
(http://ec.mashable.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/stevejobsfacebookpage.gif)
Which reminds me of this:
(http://punditkitchen.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/political-pictures-gangsta-gangsta.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on March 03, 2011, 10:28:05 pm
(http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/f/0/collegehumor.bcc9cc4f64aaaf2013b75fb0958812cf.png)
(http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/5/9/collegehumor.a2cc8d45afaf9fde48097aa9707447d2.png)
(http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/a/8/collegehumor.c0266d2abb85e4e7b96c0c68577adbab.jpg)
(http://2.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/2/e/collegehumor.9bb4c8f24c9ba5b885a542be221c3b81.jpg)
(http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/3/e/collegehumor.e684ed03b9a6bb38454d398e5f2eef9b.jpg)
(http://4.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/b/5/collegehumor.972f539b8c9be903ffa65cb5207085ba.jpg)
(http://7.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/3/f/collegehumor.5c82cd5368d933f32ecb413f2d8f5a96.jpg)
(http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/0/7/collegehumor.52e59590669195b757da18c78b1e4d5b.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on March 11, 2011, 06:08:42 pm
Post by: pi on March 11, 2011, 07:24:25 pm
Post by: SDPHD on March 14, 2011, 12:57:32 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/v1bbf.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on March 14, 2011, 03:11:27 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/ExPR5l.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on March 14, 2011, 06:28:30 pm
Post by: ninwa on March 17, 2011, 12:12:12 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/EBZze.jpg)
Post by: /0 on March 17, 2011, 01:32:42 pm
Post by: pi on March 19, 2011, 03:11:57 pm
(http://www.alepisaball.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/elevate.jpg)
(http://www.pumastudios.nl/i_has_lolz/snorlaxkf3.png)
Post by: ninwa on March 26, 2011, 04:54:13 pm
Post by: ninwa on March 27, 2011, 10:24:47 pm
Post by: ninwa on March 31, 2011, 12:47:35 pm
The priest unbelieving says, "There must have been some mistake, for I am a priest and have given my life to God, surely I can get into heaven before a cabby."
To which the angel replies, "Up here we go by results - while you preached people slept, when he drove, people prayed."
Post by: lynt.br on April 01, 2011, 08:26:26 pm
Post by: ninwa on April 02, 2011, 02:54:10 pm
http://dearsincerely.net/
Post by: ninwa on April 06, 2011, 11:00:50 am
Post by: MuggedByReality on April 06, 2011, 08:13:36 pm
The Japanese government has thanked Britain for sending them rescue dogs. They have all said they tasted lovely.
[I know other Japan jokes, but they're in (even) worst taste and would probably get me into hot soup.]
Post by: Thu Thu Train on April 06, 2011, 11:12:00 pm
NOT COOL BRO.
The Japanese government has thanked Britain for sending them rescue dogs. They have all said they tasted lovely.
[I know other Japan jokes, but they're in (even) worst taste and would probably get me into hot soup.]
Post by: Mao on April 07, 2011, 02:36:08 am
The Japanese government has thanked Britain for sending them rescue dogs. They have all said they tasted lovely.
[I know other Japan jokes, but they're in (even) worst taste and would probably get me into hot soup.]
It appears this pot of soup is sufficiently warm.
Post by: ninwa on April 14, 2011, 10:54:02 pm
Post by: ninwa on April 14, 2011, 11:07:56 pm
Post by: Fyrefly on April 15, 2011, 04:45:17 pm
(http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljbby7WzNm1qb92rfo1_500.png)
Conclusive proof that the human race is doomed.
Post by: SDPHD on April 18, 2011, 01:00:51 pm
;D
Post by: ninwa on April 18, 2011, 05:36:37 pm
Post by: ninwa on April 25, 2011, 01:49:22 am
Post by: ninwa on April 25, 2011, 04:17:24 pm
Post by: Predator on April 25, 2011, 05:42:55 pm
Post by: happycat on April 25, 2011, 08:45:32 pm
Post by: ninwa on April 25, 2011, 11:14:08 pm
Post by: Russ on April 27, 2011, 07:15:57 pm
http://i.imgur.com/ff3FU.png
Post by: Mao on April 27, 2011, 08:12:56 pm
Marginally nsfw
http://i.imgur.com/ff3FU.png
hurr..
hurr......
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Post by: Fyrefly on April 28, 2011, 03:33:23 am
Marginally nsfw
http://i.imgur.com/ff3FU.png
hurr..
hurr......
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
W.T.F.
Seriously wtf?!?!!
Post by: andy456 on April 28, 2011, 01:26:12 pm
Funniest thing I have ever read....
Post by: DisaFear on April 28, 2011, 09:20:58 pm
More of a riddle than a joke, just something that was plauging me from a book I read recently (guess?)
What does a rich man need, a beggar have, and the dead eat?
Nothing
Post by: ninwa on April 30, 2011, 01:22:17 pm
what.......?!
(http://www.gorillafart.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/if-serious1.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on May 01, 2011, 03:05:06 am
Post by: MuggedByReality on May 01, 2011, 09:42:26 am
^heh, yeh I noticed that; frequent the Grauniad do you?
lol :P
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/gallery/2011/apr/27/chinese-wedding-royal-inspiration-in-pictures#/?picture=374009218&index=0
Post by: ninwa on May 01, 2011, 03:17:51 pm
Post by: MuggedByReality on May 02, 2011, 06:11:44 am
(http://cdn.babble.com/strollerderby/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/grace-van-cutsem-royal-wedding.jpg)
It seems the little girl on the left is responding enthusiastically to Eriny's meme:
http://atarnotes.com/forum/index.php/topic,36172.0.html
Post by: DisaFear on May 05, 2011, 11:29:40 pm
Post by: SDPHD on May 07, 2011, 09:01:34 pm
(http://d3uwin5q170wpc.cloudfront.net/photo/113637_700b_v1.jpg)
Post by: SDPHD on May 07, 2011, 09:53:56 pm
(http://d3uwin5q170wpc.cloudfront.net/photo/109625_700b_v1.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on May 08, 2011, 12:27:44 am
LMFAO
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
Post by: ninwa on May 09, 2011, 03:59:04 pm
Post by: MuggedByReality on May 09, 2011, 09:55:12 pm
It took me a while to work out the above post in my head. :-\
(http://d3uwin5q170wpc.cloudfront.net/photo/113637_700b_v1.jpg)
24. Don't obfuscate
Post by: DisaFear on May 10, 2011, 07:15:23 pm
http://static.funnyjunk.com/pictures/7e0d834a0d121e1386a85faa262b6511.jpg
Picture doesn't exist anymore, sorry
Edit, found
http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/2093242/a+day+in+the+bathroom+Part+2/
Post by: Fyrefly on May 14, 2011, 01:40:07 am
(http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/225806_191370820908660_124327704279639_484285_3151798_n.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on May 14, 2011, 01:46:56 am
whatevs
(http://i.imgur.com/ddokL.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on May 19, 2011, 02:11:15 pm
Post by: shinny on May 19, 2011, 05:02:14 pm
Quote
The last known armed robbery occurred at 11.48pm on 24 March 2011 on North Road, Murrumbeena. The man threatened the attendant, who armed himself with a pole and chased the robber from the store. The attendant threw the pole at the robber, who armed himself with it and returned to the service station where he attempted to rob it again.
Saw this in the newspaper and just laughed.
Post by: MuggedByReality on May 19, 2011, 09:17:20 pm
(lol @ the thumbnail pictures)
http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/2011/05/19/search-continues-for-man-who-tried-to-board-train-with-horse-91466-28721612/
Post by: Fyrefly on May 19, 2011, 10:14:10 pm
Was gonna post this in News and Politics, but thought it was more appropriate here
(lol @ the thumbnail pictures)
http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/2011/05/19/search-continues-for-man-who-tried-to-board-train-with-horse-91466-28721612/
That was on The 7pm Project... massive lol.
Post by: ninwa on May 22, 2011, 08:22:57 pm
Post by: MuggedByReality on May 23, 2011, 09:53:53 am
Someone in the audience on a debate show here argued that faith schools were a good idea because no-one going to one had entered into a suicide pact recently.
Post by: ninwa on May 23, 2011, 04:36:43 pm
Post by: MuggedByReality on May 25, 2011, 01:43:31 pm
Rabbi-turned-comic Jackie Mason delivers a monologue on Starbucks (starting at 2.18 after having promoted his book.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Mjnzqi5gs
Post by: ninwa on May 26, 2011, 05:12:16 pm
Post by: MuggedByReality on May 29, 2011, 11:00:49 am
^That reminds me of this:
(http://knowyourmeme.com/i/000/055/511/original/c_poster_1.jpg)
(http://www.mydavidcameron.com/images/elvis1.jpg)
Post by: MuggedByReality on May 29, 2011, 11:07:21 am
Benny Hinn doing his "work" accompanied by an amusingly apposite soundtrack:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lvU-DislkI
Post by: DisaFear on May 29, 2011, 11:59:19 am
(http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg17/xPloSiV01/hopscotch.jpg)
(http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg17/xPloSiV01/HardCoreGamer.jpg)
(http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg17/xPloSiV01/immigrant.jpg)
(http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg17/xPloSiV01/time.jpg)
(http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg17/xPloSiV01/pic9.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on May 29, 2011, 02:03:28 pm
Post by: ninwa on June 02, 2011, 02:27:05 pm
Quote
Whe Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
.... sorry
Post by: SDPHD on June 02, 2011, 09:28:37 pm
Post by: SDPHD on June 03, 2011, 07:50:56 pm
Post by: SDPHD on June 03, 2011, 07:52:50 pm
Post by: DisaFear on June 03, 2011, 11:10:23 pm
(http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg17/xPloSiV01/6ne94tmp.jpg)
(http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg17/xPloSiV01/buttons.jpg)
Post by: SDPHD on June 04, 2011, 10:34:19 pm
Post by: DisaFear on June 04, 2011, 11:31:26 pm
(http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg17/xPloSiV01/Fuckingowned-1.jpg)
(http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg17/xPloSiV01/spam3_gif.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on June 05, 2011, 04:03:33 pm
Post by: pi on June 09, 2011, 04:38:21 pm
^lol, that made me chuckle :)
Remember when you showed that to me in yr9. My response is still the same: wtf
Post by: DisaFear on June 10, 2011, 12:05:29 am
May need to zoom in, Ctrl+Scroll Up
Image from original page can't be linked, here's source for hi-def viewing: http://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/2210703/Derp+comics+part+2/
Post by: ninwa on June 12, 2011, 06:10:44 pm
Post by: DisaFear on June 12, 2011, 10:42:49 pm
Post by: ninwa on June 13, 2011, 05:29:07 pm
Post by: ninwa on July 18, 2011, 12:48:36 pm
Post by: pi on August 06, 2011, 09:43:27 pm
(http://www.forkparty.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/funny-demotivational-poster-0044.jpg)
(http://nurr.org/albums/Motivational/waterballoon_demotivational_poster.jpg)
(http://cdn.pimpmyspace.org/media/pms/c/il/l0/0v/m044547.jpg)
ALSO, this is pretty long (and old), but I think its still funny: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in6RZzdGki8 :)
Post by: ninwa on August 10, 2011, 11:33:18 am
Post by: DisaFear on November 01, 2011, 11:09:03 pm
Post by: aiming_95 on November 01, 2011, 11:59:02 pm
Post by: MuggedByReality on November 02, 2011, 12:07:48 am
"After 5 days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse"
Post by: abzzzz on November 02, 2011, 12:38:31 am
Post by: ninwa on November 02, 2011, 12:47:40 am
Why did the chicken cross the road
GRETCHEN WIENERS:
Oh my God. You can't just ask why the chicken crossed the road.
PARIS HILTON:
Huh?
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BUDDHA:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
THE BIBLE:
And God came down from the heavens and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road and there was much rejoicing.
BILL O’ REILLY:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
HILLARY CLINTON:
I’m glad my staff asked you to ask me that question. I chaired the senate chicken investigation which sought to determine exactly why this is happening and what we can do to stop it. I have a great deal of experience with chickens. I’m also very very likable and nice, isn’t that right Mom?
HILLARY CLINTON (2):
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One, that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
DARWIN:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
The chicken did not cross the road. It transcended it.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the “other side.” That’s what “they” call it: the “other side.” Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like “the other side.” That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It’s as plain and simple as that.
SIGMUND FREUD:
The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious, selbstverständlich.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MACHIAVELLI:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH:
Finally, a question about something I know about. Down at the ranch in West Texas, we used to hunt chickens and they’d run across the road, where my brother would run over them with a truck. That’s what you call resourcingfulness, and I’m full of it.
PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH (2):
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
TONY BLAIR:
I agree with George.
JERRY SEINFELD:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, “What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway? What is wrong with that chicken?
DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road but why it crossed, I’ve not been told.
GROUCHO MARX:
Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.
KARL MARX:
To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle.
MR SCOTT:
'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning proprely. Ah canna work miracles, captain!
DESCARTES:
It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming anyway.
ZSA ZSA GABOR:
It probably crossed to get a better look at my legs, which thank goodness are good, dahling.
GREGOR MENDEL:
To get various strains of roads.
SALVADOR DALI:
The Fish.
HENRY DAVID THOREAU:
To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
JAMES TIBERIUS KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the Chickens on the other side of the road.
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the Chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:
To get to the other side.
JULIUS CAESAR:
It came, it saw, it crossed.
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraqi ambassador):
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.
WHO:
To further spread Avian Flu to another unprepared country.
DOUGLAS ADAMS:
Forty-two.
ISAAC NEWTON:
Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.
LINUS TORVALDS:
No it was a penguin, chicken is not capable of crossing road.
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (Animal Planet):
And as we watch the lone chicken undertake this hazardous journey, we can only wonder at the awesome nature of this dangerous, yet necessary, migration.
GOETHE:
The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
HEISENBERG:
We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
MEL GIBSON:
Why do you think the chicken crossed the road? Because its a (censored) Jew. Jews think they can just (censored) cross the street whenever they want. Jewish chickens are responsible for all the wars in the world...are you a Jew??
C++ PROGRAMMER:
chicken->CrossRoad() was called from chicken->GetOtherSide()
ANDERSEN CONSULTING:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting ,in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
HIPPOCRATES:
Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
SADDAM HUSSEIN:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
CARL JUNG:
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
RALPH NADER:
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
AGENT MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
NIETZSCHE:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
RICHARD NIXON:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
PLATO:
For the greater good.
RONALD REAGAN:
I forget.
SNOOP DOGG:
This (censored) fool of a chicken didn't (censored) know what the (censored) he was doin crossin a (censored) alley in (censored) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censored) mornin'.
JEAN-PAUL SARTRE:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
MARK TWAIN:
The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
VOLTAIRE:
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
MOLLY YARD:
It was a hen!
JESSICA SIMPSON:
Why would he be one a road, I thought chickens lived in the ocean?
GEORGE ORWELL:
Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.
HAMLET:
That is not the question.
O.J. SIMPSON:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
BAHA MEN (band):
WHO LET THE CHICKENS OUT.....ku...ku..ku..ku
MICROSOFT:
The Windows Chicken can cross any given road in eleven different ways, not counting the use of wizards who will actually cross the road for the chicken. If you can remember all eleven ways, you can become a Microsoft Certified Poultry Specialist (MCPS). If you come up with new way for the Windows Chicken to cross the road, you can become a Microsoft Certified Solution Provider (MCSP.) But if you come up with a whole new chicken altogether, then you will become a Microsoft Certified Enemy (MSROADKILL).
FOGHORN LEGHORN:
That chick, ah say, that chicken crossed the road on account of I was after her tail feathers.
MOSES:
Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the road, and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own preservation.
BASIL FAWLTY:
Oh, don't mind that chicken. It's from Barcelona.
THE SPHINX:
You tell me.
Post by: Fyrefly on November 02, 2011, 12:52:55 am
Because it wanted to play squash.
I made that joke up with I was about 7yo... ^_^;
Post by: nacho on November 02, 2011, 01:07:25 am
Post by: Russ on November 09, 2011, 08:29:20 pm
Quote
"It is probably impossible to build this structure with a ribose sugar in place of the deoxyribose sugar"
Biology nerd jokes are funny <3
Post by: aiming_95 on November 10, 2011, 04:05:21 pm
A neutron walks into a bar asks the bartender how much for a drink, the bartender says for you NO CHARGE.
Ba dum TSHH.
Post by: DisaFear on November 10, 2011, 05:15:50 pm
(http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg17/xPloSiV01/dedication.jpg)
(http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg17/xPloSiV01/time.jpg)
Post by: Mao on November 11, 2011, 01:21:53 am
..a neutrino walks into a bar.
Post by: b^3 on November 11, 2011, 10:11:12 am
Why did the chicken cross the road
From the BBT.Again from TBBT.
A neutron walks into a bar asks the bartender how much for a drink, the bartender says for you NO CHARGE.
Ba dum TSHH.
Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?
To get to the same side. BAZINGA.
(Since mobius strips only have one side)
We actually made mobius strips in class on the last day of term in yr 11 as and activity. If you draw a line in the middle of the stirp and keep going you will end up back where you started from and it looks like you drew on both sides but there is only one side. I forgot what happens if you cut along the line though.
Post by: Panicmode on November 11, 2011, 10:23:26 am
Why did the chicken cross the roadFrom the BBT.Again from TBBT.
A neutron walks into a bar asks the bartender how much for a drink, the bartender says for you NO CHARGE.
Ba dum TSHH.
Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?
To get to the same side. BAZINGA.
(Since mobius strips only have one side)
We actually made mobius strips in class on the last day of term in yr 11 as and activity. If you draw a line in the middle of the stirp and keep going you will end up back where you started from and it looks like you drew on both sides but there is only one side. I forgot what happens if you cut along the line though.
If you cut along the line you get two linked circles (from what I remember of year 6)
....
A proton stands trial for murder. He is in the witness box and is being cross-examined by the prosecution.
- "And where were you the night of the 5th Mr. Proton?"
- "I was in the nucleus, with my friend neutron"
_"Are you sure you were in the nucleus? There wasn't say... an ACID BASE REACTION!!!"
*audience gasps*
- "Yes sir! I'm positive!"
Post by: DisaFear on November 11, 2011, 12:37:21 pm
(http://cheezcomixed.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/koma-comic-strip-h-too.jpg)
Post by: Panicmode on November 11, 2011, 02:17:11 pm
Step back chemists!
(http://cheezcomixed.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/koma-comic-strip-h-too.jpg)
Ah lol :). He drank peroxide.
Hmm; Biol pickup lines;
- If I were an enzyme, I'd be RNA polymerase so I could unzip your genes.
- You're so hot, you denature my proteins.
- Hey baby, how bouts you an me go back to my place and we can form a covalent bond
- I wish I was adenine, cause then I'd be paired with U.
- If you were a concentration gradient, I'd so go down on you.
- I have a smooth endoplasmic reticulum, but I hear you like it rough.
Post by: DisaFear on November 11, 2011, 10:34:09 pm
Dunno if I've posted this before, but this is what a real circuit looks like
(http://i.imgur.com/IxYqM.png)
Post by: DisaFear on November 12, 2011, 12:37:10 pm
(http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg17/xPloSiV01/320138_237515129631019_153978501318.jpg)
Post by: thushan on November 12, 2011, 12:49:46 pm
Post by: Panicmode on November 12, 2011, 01:34:40 pm
Chemists do it periodically on the table... :P
LOLOLOL.
Two hydrocarbons are walking down the streets of New York. One gets bumped by a passing stranger. He turns to the other and says, "Geeze, some people can be so inconsiderate". The other hydrocarbon looks at him and says, "True, but it takes alkynes to make a world."
Post by: ninwa on November 12, 2011, 07:26:49 pm
Post by: Panicmode on November 12, 2011, 11:01:08 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/2FKUD.png)It's so true!!
Post by: Random_Guy on November 23, 2011, 08:27:00 pm
"Give me all your money, otherwise, you're geography!" I exclaimed.
"Don't you mean 'history'?" he replied.
"Don't change the subject!" I yelled.
Post by: ShortBlackChick on November 23, 2011, 08:38:48 pm
Q: What has 44 legs and cant climb a ladder?
A: Port Adelaide.
Post by: TrueTears on December 01, 2011, 09:53:16 pm
1. BOO_S
2. _ _ NDOM
3. F_ _ K
4. P_ N _S
5. PU_S_
6. S_X
Answers:1. BOOKS 2. RANDOM 3. FORK 4. PANTS 5. PULSE 6. SIX.You got all 6 wrong, didn't you?You dirty minded freak!
Post by: happycat on December 09, 2011, 11:25:38 pm
Post by: Fyrefly on December 10, 2011, 03:11:58 am
2. _ _ NDOM
This was the only word I got correct... I have an irrevocably perverse mind, don't I? :-[
Post by: Russ on December 10, 2011, 09:18:13 am
Post by: Random_Guy on December 11, 2011, 10:06:10 pm
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says "A beer please, and one for the road."
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
He couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to him.
He said she was average because she was mean.
Pencils could be made with erasers on both ends, but that would be pointless.
Post by: burbs on December 13, 2011, 02:16:50 am
"these are my khakis."
Post by: tqn on December 13, 2011, 10:41:47 pm
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5X9bXROTFJg/TuGX5IBK9JI/AAAAAAAACps/SKLMYHn6K7E/s1600/1626.jpg)
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8oQJKld4VpQ/TuVFa4O32KI/AAAAAAAACqg/DsqdNKLjRhw/s1600/nooffense.png)
Post by: JellyDonut on December 13, 2011, 10:48:56 pm
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8oQJKld4VpQ/TuVFa4O32KI/AAAAAAAACqg/DsqdNKLjRhw/s1600/nooffense.png)
(http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lql1ftESJr1qgq69k.png)
Post by: ninwa on December 14, 2011, 09:37:01 am
Post by: Random_Guy on December 16, 2011, 07:27:07 am
She said, "Do you want to have a bit of fun?"
Messi, "Yes sure, go get ready I'll be waiting for you." He winked.
She comes back and finds Xavi and Iniesta in bed. She says, "Wait, why are they in the bed?"
Messi replies, "Oh, I can't perform without them."
Post by: pi on December 18, 2011, 02:00:46 pm
Post by: aiming_95 on December 18, 2011, 02:19:00 pm
Post by: pi on December 18, 2011, 02:22:05 pm
That joke is 11653 words long.
Yep, and don't spoil it! :)
Post by: funkyducky on December 18, 2011, 02:38:13 pm
...
It performed an illegal operation. *ba-dum tsh!*
Post by: Russ on December 18, 2011, 03:51:12 pm
That joke is 11653 words long.
Yep, and don't spoil it! :)
Pretty sure it's not actually true
Moderator action: removed real name, sorry for the inconvenience
Post by: Random_Guy on December 22, 2011, 10:06:22 am
Post by: Random_Guy on December 23, 2011, 05:16:34 pm
Post by: Phy124 on December 23, 2011, 07:16:16 pm
(http://img383.imageshack.us/img383/6223/funnyie4.jpg)
Post by: ShortBlackChick on December 23, 2011, 07:34:14 pm
Holy ShitThat joke is 11653 words long.
Yep, and don't spoil it! :)
All I have to say is: So true!
Moderator action: removed real name, sorry for the inconvenience
Post by: happycat on December 25, 2011, 09:07:57 pm
From happycat.
Post by: abd123 on December 25, 2011, 09:34:14 pm
worth the watch.
Post by: Callum on December 25, 2011, 10:17:06 pm
http://longestjokeintheworld.com/
OMG takes so long to read... 25 pages wtf haha.
Moderator action: removed real name, sorry for the inconvenience
Post by: abd123 on December 26, 2011, 11:10:23 pm
I love this guy <3 (no homo).
(http://i40.tinypic.com/vcrtwp.gif)
Goodnight AN :D.
Post by: enwiabe on December 26, 2011, 11:13:57 pm
Post by: Phy124 on December 27, 2011, 01:17:53 am
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/382738_10150473695288360_290539813359_8462590_776327680_n.jpg)
(http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/403298_10150474689903360_290539813359_8465306_202845403_n.jpg)
(http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/388726_10150464254138360_290539813359_8424466_1811563770_n.jpg)
edit:
From elsewhere,
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/268488_10150290352540348_284965490347_9176150_2706796_n.jpg)
Post by: abd123 on December 31, 2011, 11:16:35 am
Post by: Phy124 on December 31, 2011, 02:24:50 pm
And since no one from IRC posted it,
http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/230722228491
Read down from "Greetings" (credits to nina[?])
Lastly,
(http://screensnapr.com/e/OknPz4.png)
No worries IRC, that's too easy... :|
Post by: Mao on January 02, 2012, 04:55:43 pm
Which means, you can help the indexing service, or seriously troll them
Post by: Phy124 on January 03, 2012, 09:48:54 pm
(credit to Camo)
Post by: Callum on January 06, 2012, 02:25:37 am
(http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Dave/comicgoodoldays1.png)
(http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Rob/cheating2.png)
Post by: xdecay on January 06, 2012, 11:00:04 am
carlos.
Post by: abd123 on January 07, 2012, 11:24:48 pm
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/2955885/nathaniel-loves-to-dance
Post by: Hutchoo on January 08, 2012, 12:21:26 am
Arguably, the best dancer in the world.How could you call something so skilful a joke?
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/2955885/nathaniel-loves-to-dance
I LIKE TO DANNNNNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Post by: ninwa on January 08, 2012, 12:24:51 am
(http://i.imgur.com/VgmdK.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/qJ5Hz.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/iOqeX.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/fXRoz.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/3Rd3J.jpg)
Post by: nacho on January 08, 2012, 12:39:08 am
what do you call a mexican who lost his car?what do you call a chinese fob/mexican hybrid who's not sure?
carlos.
nacho.
giggidy (nat-sho)
Post by: xdecay on January 08, 2012, 09:07:18 am
because they're so-viet.
Post by: nisha on January 08, 2012, 01:45:12 pm
Post by: TrueTears on January 08, 2012, 09:03:14 pm
The former is a superhero, the latter is a command.
Post by: nacho on January 08, 2012, 09:07:19 pm
male = man
Female
ironman
Post by: aiming_95 on January 10, 2012, 07:14:02 pm
Post by: TrueTears on January 10, 2012, 07:18:36 pm
(http://www.likeaboss.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/marriage-proposal-like-a-boss.jpg)This guy actually used it XD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgjkXsFyCsc
Post by: ShortBlackChick on January 11, 2012, 01:44:07 pm
I swear Karl Stefanovic is such a cheeky cunt.
I love this guy <3 (no homo).
(http://i40.tinypic.com/vcrtwp.gif)
Goodnight AN :D.
Tad delayed, but I spent countless hours watching these over and over again. Have fun, there's about 22 of them. I just love Karl and his lame/awkward jokes and his laugh.
Post by: Reckoner on January 12, 2012, 12:39:20 pm
Click on the girl's head, or just "walk" along the road looking at her. Not strictly a joke, but made me lol.
Post by: Menang on January 13, 2012, 01:07:20 am
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/correlation.png)
Quote
Two behaviourists have sex.
When they are finished, one turns to the other and says:
"It was great for you... How was it for me?"
Post by: monkeywantsabanana on January 13, 2012, 02:19:30 am
http://maps.google.com.br/maps?q=Ru...2C0%2C5.13&z=17
Click on the girl's head, or just "walk" along the road looking at her. Not strictly a joke, but made me lol.
9gag? they censored the woman! HAHAHA
Post by: DisaFear on January 23, 2012, 08:35:08 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/403723_10150544080213360_290539813359_8719975_1987837990_n.jpg)
Post by: Phy124 on January 27, 2012, 10:22:30 pm
(http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/396611_321340271237541_265444660160436_853806_327787382_n.jpg)
Unrelated pics:
(http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/408105_312089668828824_100000833818906_963448_150260603_n.jpg)
(http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/422789_144646445652215_114097048707155_185345_1479804712_n.jpg)
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/423869_299776746737635_124571720924806_784915_1757318159_n.jpg)
(http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/315520_320093058007847_163121960371625_1547467_1106538744_n.jpg)
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/392039_353330801350739_163121960371625_1658696_564614940_n.jpg)
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/387339_334154229935063_163121960371625_1595208_1654775328_n.jpg)
Post by: Gloamglozer on January 28, 2012, 03:29:50 pm
Study hard boys and girls. :)
Post by: Random_Guy on January 28, 2012, 09:28:52 pm
Post by: rife168 on January 28, 2012, 11:30:25 pm
The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had five squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had twenty knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor.
When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in).
The battle raged, and when the dust had cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms, thus proving that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
LOL
Post by: Fyrefly on January 29, 2012, 01:27:45 am
Post by: Phy124 on January 29, 2012, 11:51:24 pm
I give you...
(http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/91/40/0c038401b8e9acdbdb4d792ee96ef1c4.jpg)
(http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/65/82/3bca88d6484b2b81fff39781541aa7c2.jpg)
(http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/31/25/ea4796c497ee824ac6a9687ccbaf0504.jpg)
(http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/28/41/6f3e8264074038941c331c54e0de0661.jpg)
(http://1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/53/58/6ad7f9e2fc51109d182dd16645ce993b.jpg)
(http://2.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/18/97/9b4fc52de639122742f3ea404815c2fc.gif)
(http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/68/12/69624eb8961f9d6de99c998fd0d45847.jpg)
I can't help but think I'll go through these a multitude of times in the following years.
edit:
I'll chuck this in for good measure-
(http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/403084_349832895036717_161751283844880_1265423_1839771436_n.jpg)
Post by: burbs on February 11, 2012, 01:31:09 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/lp9Kb.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/Hpoow.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/6po4U.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/5mOVp.png)
Post by: burbs on February 11, 2012, 01:32:26 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/KI7sj.png)
Post by: Phy124 on February 12, 2012, 01:48:21 am
Forgot one:relevant:
(http://cdn.thegloss.com/files/2011/10/ferrell-beiber.jpg)
Post by: pi on February 16, 2012, 11:42:18 am
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/417318_287404087992693_170357476364022_771492_700920827_n.jpg)
Post by: trinh on February 16, 2012, 10:00:11 pm
(http://imgur.com/mTKIG.jpg)
(http://imgur.com/UNeRk.jpg)
(http://imgur.com/WaHC0.jpg)
(http://imgur.com/kvEdc.jpg)
(http://imgur.com/Zq9We.jpg)
(http://imgur.com/GpHXS.jpg)
(http://imgur.com/GLLxL.jpg)
(http://imgur.com/DzPgR.jpg)
Post by: ggxoxo on February 16, 2012, 10:12:43 pm
Why did the chicken cross the road
GRETCHEN WIENERS:
Oh my God. You can't just ask why the chicken crossed the road.
PARIS HILTON:
Huh?
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BUDDHA:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
THE BIBLE:
And God came down from the heavens and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road and there was much rejoicing.
BILL O’ REILLY:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
HILLARY CLINTON:
I’m glad my staff asked you to ask me that question. I chaired the senate chicken investigation which sought to determine exactly why this is happening and what we can do to stop it. I have a great deal of experience with chickens. I’m also very very likable and nice, isn’t that right Mom?
HILLARY CLINTON (2):
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One, that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
DARWIN:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
The chicken did not cross the road. It transcended it.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the “other side.” That’s what “they” call it: the “other side.” Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like “the other side.” That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It’s as plain and simple as that.
SIGMUND FREUD:
The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious, selbstverständlich.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MACHIAVELLI:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH:
Finally, a question about something I know about. Down at the ranch in West Texas, we used to hunt chickens and they’d run across the road, where my brother would run over them with a truck. That’s what you call resourcingfulness, and I’m full of it.
PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH (2):
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
TONY BLAIR:
I agree with George.
JERRY SEINFELD:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, “What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway? What is wrong with that chicken?
DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road but why it crossed, I’ve not been told.
GROUCHO MARX:
Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.
KARL MARX:
To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle.
MR SCOTT:
'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning proprely. Ah canna work miracles, captain!
DESCARTES:
It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming anyway.
ZSA ZSA GABOR:
It probably crossed to get a better look at my legs, which thank goodness are good, dahling.
GREGOR MENDEL:
To get various strains of roads.
SALVADOR DALI:
The Fish.
HENRY DAVID THOREAU:
To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
JAMES TIBERIUS KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the Chickens on the other side of the road.
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the Chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:
To get to the other side.
JULIUS CAESAR:
It came, it saw, it crossed.
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraqi ambassador):
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.
WHO:
To further spread Avian Flu to another unprepared country.
DOUGLAS ADAMS:
Forty-two.
ISAAC NEWTON:
Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.
LINUS TORVALDS:
No it was a penguin, chicken is not capable of crossing road.
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (Animal Planet):
And as we watch the lone chicken undertake this hazardous journey, we can only wonder at the awesome nature of this dangerous, yet necessary, migration.
GOETHE:
The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
HEISENBERG:
We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
MEL GIBSON:
Why do you think the chicken crossed the road? Because its a (censored) Jew. Jews think they can just (censored) cross the street whenever they want. Jewish chickens are responsible for all the wars in the world...are you a Jew??
C++ PROGRAMMER:
chicken->CrossRoad() was called from chicken->GetOtherSide()
ANDERSEN CONSULTING:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting ,in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
HIPPOCRATES:
Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
SADDAM HUSSEIN:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
CARL JUNG:
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
RALPH NADER:
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
AGENT MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
NIETZSCHE:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
RICHARD NIXON:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
PLATO:
For the greater good.
RONALD REAGAN:
I forget.
SNOOP DOGG:
This (censored) fool of a chicken didn't (censored) know what the (censored) he was doin crossin a (censored) alley in (censored) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censored) mornin'.
JEAN-PAUL SARTRE:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
MARK TWAIN:
The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
VOLTAIRE:
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
MOLLY YARD:
It was a hen!
JESSICA SIMPSON:
Why would he be one a road, I thought chickens lived in the ocean?
GEORGE ORWELL:
Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.
HAMLET:
That is not the question.
O.J. SIMPSON:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
BAHA MEN (band):
WHO LET THE CHICKENS OUT.....ku...ku..ku..ku
MICROSOFT:
The Windows Chicken can cross any given road in eleven different ways, not counting the use of wizards who will actually cross the road for the chicken. If you can remember all eleven ways, you can become a Microsoft Certified Poultry Specialist (MCPS). If you come up with new way for the Windows Chicken to cross the road, you can become a Microsoft Certified Solution Provider (MCSP.) But if you come up with a whole new chicken altogether, then you will become a Microsoft Certified Enemy (MSROADKILL).
FOGHORN LEGHORN:
That chick, ah say, that chicken crossed the road on account of I was after her tail feathers.
MOSES:
Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the road, and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own preservation.
BASIL FAWLTY:
Oh, don't mind that chicken. It's from Barcelona.
THE SPHINX:
You tell me.
OMG!!! So funny!!! I've never laughed as much as I did while reading this!
Post by: oliverk94 on February 16, 2012, 10:17:32 pm
Post by: burbs on February 18, 2012, 08:06:32 pm
hahaha
Post by: ninwa on February 23, 2012, 11:52:05 am
Post by: Hutchoo on February 23, 2012, 01:14:22 pm
Post by: oliverk94 on February 23, 2012, 03:53:44 pm
http://i.imgur.com/gZ7Cr.jpg
(http://erroraccessdenied.com/files/images/tldr%20cat.preview.jpg)
Post by: pi on February 23, 2012, 07:12:32 pm
Post by: burbs on February 23, 2012, 09:28:30 pm
Looking for a job?
http://nowhiring.com.au/424936+job+Prime+Minister+of+Australia+ACT.aspx
Moderator action: removed real name, sorry for the inconvenience
Post by: oliverk94 on February 23, 2012, 11:05:55 pm
Looking for a job?Joke already taken
(http://troll.me/images/obama-meh/seems-legit.jpg)
Moderator action: removed real name, sorry for the inconvenience
Post by: Mao on February 23, 2012, 11:48:53 pm
http://nowhiring.com.au/424936+job+Prime+Minister+of+Australia+ACT.aspx
Ahahaa, excellent find. Facebook'd.
Post by: Hutchoo on February 27, 2012, 12:41:30 am
Post by: s... on February 27, 2012, 04:41:28 pm
Post by: oliverk94 on February 27, 2012, 05:14:36 pm
Post by: elmoodo on February 29, 2012, 01:42:17 am
The best troll ever: http://www.dontevenreply.com/all.php
Read and learn, prospective VN trolls.
Without a shadow of doubt, this is the best. I've never laughed so much.
I can't sleep, this is the funniest stuff I've ever read. I was so close to waking up the house.
Post by: pi on February 29, 2012, 05:38:21 pm
(http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/internet-memes-skyrim-has-taken-over-my-life2.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on February 29, 2012, 09:50:02 pm
''I'm gonna move to England when I'm about 25, I'm gonna start a family there. I'm gonna read harry potter to my son when he's young and totally convince him he's a wizard, and that on his 11th Birthday, He will receive his letter from Hogwarts. Then, on his 11th Birthday, as planned, A letter (handwritten by me of course) will arrive to him on his 11th Birthday. He will be so excited to finally live out his dream of being a Wizard. Then, when I take him to Kings Cross Station, I'm gonna laugh my ass off when he runs into the platform pillar as he tries to get to platform 9 and 3/4.''
Post by: ninwa on March 02, 2012, 10:45:10 am
Post by: DisaFear on March 04, 2012, 10:57:51 am
Bring it on taigz 8)
Post by: pi on March 05, 2012, 07:24:58 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on March 07, 2012, 10:14:58 pm
Such a cute video HAHAH.
The kid makes me laugh.
Post by: 86 on March 07, 2012, 10:32:50 pm
Post by: Kanon on March 07, 2012, 10:44:51 pm
"omg Tony you can't just ask Kevin why he's white."
Post by: ninwa on March 08, 2012, 12:23:27 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on March 12, 2012, 12:43:54 pm
LOLLOLOOL
Post by: aiming_95 on March 12, 2012, 02:22:01 pm
Post by: pi on March 14, 2012, 07:13:17 pm
Post by: oliverk94 on March 15, 2012, 07:47:36 pm
Post by: Cappuccinos on March 15, 2012, 08:11:10 pm
Post by: Mao on March 15, 2012, 11:49:35 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBCmt_pJTRA
Fuck yeah research careers.
Post by: Hutchoo on March 17, 2012, 05:49:59 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on March 17, 2012, 09:19:05 pm
Dad: About $2.50
AHHAHAHAHA.
Post by: mpathy on March 17, 2012, 09:20:32 pm
Me: Hey dad, what's the capital of South Africa?
Dad: About $2.50
AHHAHAHAHA.
LOL!! +1
Post by: DisaFear on March 18, 2012, 11:04:54 am
(http://chzvideogames.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/internet-memes-memebase-home-angerbirds-broke-the-sphinxs-nose.jpg)
Post by: nacho on March 18, 2012, 11:09:34 am
(http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/417333_10150724282317502_685462501_11322662_560622927_n.jpg)LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
"omg Tony you can't just ask Kevin why he's white."
Post by: pi on March 18, 2012, 11:17:05 am
http://www.news.com.au/world/kony-2012-film-maker-jason-russell-arrested-for-masturbating-in-public/story-e6frfkyi-1226302345885
Quote from Monash StalkerSpace:
Quote
So that guy behind the Kony 2012 thing got caught masturbating in public.
Looks like Jason Russel has Invisible Children all over his hands...
LMFAO!
Post by: pi on March 18, 2012, 03:35:16 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on March 18, 2012, 04:16:49 pm
Post by: mpathy on March 18, 2012, 04:17:32 pm
(http://coolmaterial.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/facebook-god-2.gif)
Post by: DisaFear on March 18, 2012, 07:09:26 pm
These are so randomly funny XD
Post by: Hutchoo on March 24, 2012, 12:38:33 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on March 25, 2012, 09:02:24 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on March 26, 2012, 10:22:48 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on March 27, 2012, 09:58:36 pm
Post by: Charmz on March 28, 2012, 05:04:10 pm
Post by: mpathy on March 28, 2012, 08:01:49 pm
Post by: pi on March 28, 2012, 09:03:51 pm
via Camo
Post by: mpathy on March 28, 2012, 10:18:29 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on March 29, 2012, 08:07:16 pm
(http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/423703_242843512475306_100002489768916_513708_400882870_n.jpg)
Post by: tictac on March 29, 2012, 08:40:05 pm
A USB!
hehe it makes me laugh :P
Post by: pi on March 29, 2012, 09:04:46 pm
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/3619243_700b.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/528018_355575137821660_100001075294113_1013058_467448229_n.jpg)
edit: 5.8k posts...
Post by: Gloamglozer on April 01, 2012, 02:10:22 pm
Post by: pi on April 02, 2012, 08:42:44 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on April 02, 2012, 10:30:28 pm
Post by: tony3272 on April 02, 2012, 11:21:29 pm
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100731152558AAcrgmRLOL should have read the end of that first :P
Post by: Hutchoo on April 03, 2012, 12:00:02 am
Post by: Stick on April 03, 2012, 10:28:14 am
Post by: 86 on April 03, 2012, 04:31:35 pm
Post by: DisaFear on April 03, 2012, 04:50:12 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/431613_224915184271085_211490985613505_432431_542724177_n.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/s720x720/550324_3615403953956_1539545016_33244616_1346070544_n.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/s720x720/564709_298716696867310_141627822576199_775876_1577623734_n.jpg)
Post by: Bhootnike on April 03, 2012, 04:59:01 pm
(http://www.memehumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/when-chemists-die-640x636.jpg)
(http://www.memehumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/New-Pencil-640x708.png)
(http://www.memehumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/in-soviet-russia-640x860.jpg)
Post by: mpathy on April 04, 2012, 09:05:07 pm
(http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/419950_202324969865415_170987796332466_344481_1658145282_n.jpg)
(http://www.stuffistumbledupon.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Willy-Wonka-Meme-Grownups-watch-Jersey-Shore.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on April 04, 2012, 09:28:23 pm
Post by: mpathy on April 05, 2012, 07:01:35 pm
(http://www.savagecircuits.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=2492&d=1329521588)
Post by: mpathy on April 06, 2012, 09:12:19 pm
(http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/155/790/memes-troll-science-thinking-with-portals.jpg)
Post by: Mao on April 08, 2012, 12:03:35 am
(http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/155/790/memes-troll-science-thinking-with-portals.jpg)
Neat. This actually is valid scientific proof that portals (without a constant energy input) cannot exist.
Post by: Hutchoo on April 08, 2012, 10:29:25 pm
(http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0ur6lxBHq1r1ih6go5_500.jpg)
(http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1bnx5vTBf1qzxzwwo1_400.jpg)
LLOLLOO
DAT MASS
Post by: Bhootnike on April 09, 2012, 11:21:48 am
(http://jqimedia.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/xzibit-yo-dawg-i-herd-you-like-functions-newton.jpg?w=236&h=300]http://jqimedia.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/xzibit-yo-dawg-i-herd-you-like-functions-newton.jpg?w=236&h=300)
(http://www.jumpoverthere.com/wp-content/images/2011/01/meanwhile-in/10.jpg)
(http://www.jumpoverthere.com/wp-content/images/2011/01/meanwhile-in/12.jpg)
sigh so true..
Re: 3 Free Pens!
(http://i.qkme.me/3of3cu.jpg)
Post by: Gloamglozer on April 09, 2012, 01:25:05 pm
(http://i39.tinypic.com/343rriq.jpg)
Post by: charmanderp on April 09, 2012, 01:40:31 pm
Post by: Lasercookie on April 09, 2012, 01:58:50 pm
(http://www.whatireally.com/images/166203950.jpeg)
edit: it decided to start working now
Post by: Stick on April 09, 2012, 08:16:46 pm
(http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/281/675/d11.png)
Post by: Bhootnike on April 09, 2012, 11:43:26 pm
(http://media.techeblog.com/images/internet-meme.jpg)
(http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxntkir7pa1qb5gkjo1_500.jpg)
(http://www.tumblr.com/photo/1280/thefuuuucomics/20716008557/1/tumblr_lvhytcxzQU1r33r0f)
Post by: Charmz on April 11, 2012, 11:09:45 pm
(http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxntkir7pa1qb5gkjo1_500.jpg)
That is pretty awesome. lol
Post by: Gloamglozer on April 12, 2012, 10:55:18 am
Post by: ninwa on April 12, 2012, 10:37:28 pm
Post by: Gloamglozer on April 13, 2012, 02:41:30 pm
(http://i42.tinypic.com/34njkah.jpg)
Only engineers, only engineers.
Post by: Lasercookie on April 13, 2012, 02:49:39 pm
Post by: Gloamglozer on April 13, 2012, 04:08:45 pm
Where does that lead to? Outside/on top of the roof?
Only ninjas would know. Probably a dungeon where the Model rapes you.
Post by: SDPHD on April 13, 2012, 05:20:30 pm
In the Old Engineering Building at UoM:
Only engineers, only engineers.
Engineering buildings at Monash.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c6/Brussels_Zonienwoud.jpg/640px-Brussels_Zonienwoud.jpg)
Post by: Bhootnike on April 14, 2012, 12:21:50 am
(http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/295116_272336286186714_258629594224050_597522_642905695_n.jpg)
(http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/546580_269373353149674_258629594224050_588208_1610488463_n.jpg)
BAHAHHA ^^
Post by: Gloamglozer on April 15, 2012, 09:00:26 pm
(http://i42.tinypic.com/2564sgw.jpg)
EDIT: Apparently picture was "moved" or "deleted".
Post by: Gloamglozer on April 18, 2012, 07:43:01 pm
(http://i44.tinypic.com/308a55e.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on April 19, 2012, 09:18:43 pm
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/546092_271148569646695_227306634030889_598254_1865962967_n.jpg)
Post by: KevinooBz on April 20, 2012, 04:39:02 pm
Post by: Gloamglozer on April 22, 2012, 04:20:55 pm
(http://i43.tinypic.com/96hmys.jpg)
Post by: 86 on April 22, 2012, 06:43:54 pm
PS. @Hutchoo: Jessica, Tiffany, Yoona > Taeyeon .. ;)
Post by: pi on April 22, 2012, 07:39:53 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/575830_10150758371473360_290539813359_9362908_862604993_n.jpg)
Post by: Genericname2365 on April 22, 2012, 08:57:48 pm
(http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvudfgFkVh1qd9cdso1_500.jpg)
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/floating-chinese-government-officials
Possibly all old :P
Post by: pi on April 26, 2012, 09:40:10 pm
Post by: Bhootnike on April 26, 2012, 09:54:21 pm
Post by: pi on April 26, 2012, 09:58:17 pm
Post by: charmanderp on April 26, 2012, 10:32:13 pm
Post by: xZero on April 27, 2012, 12:27:54 am
Post by: DisaFear on April 27, 2012, 12:40:35 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/549359_10150848156966449_48894686448_11547277_853671366_n.jpg)
(http://artoftrolling.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/internet-troll-remember-kony.jpg)
(http://cheezpictureisunrelated.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/wtf-photos-videos-good-to-know.jpg)
(http://chzragecomics.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/rage-comics-i-have-a-rage-comics-fetish.png)
(http://chzderp.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/hurr-durr-derp-face-hharggllblagghgh-harglbahbit3.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on April 27, 2012, 02:55:57 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on April 27, 2012, 06:53:00 pm
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/3988630_460s.jpg)
Post by: 86 on April 27, 2012, 08:38:28 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on April 28, 2012, 01:19:47 am
--Posted by ez
Post by: pi on April 28, 2012, 12:56:58 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/528667_10150842673260033_717390032_12081561_727159191_n.jpg)
also:
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/574506_325387360866117_135529993185189_821349_1485562055_n.jpg)
Post by: Russ on April 29, 2012, 01:27:34 pm
A month of *someone's* life, wasted :(
Post by: 1ne on April 29, 2012, 06:03:32 pm
wwe fans + methods students might understand this..
Post by: Fyrefly on April 30, 2012, 02:00:36 am
wwe fans + methods students might understand this..
There are actually people who study maths methods that are WWE fans? Well I'll be.
Post by: TrueTears on April 30, 2012, 04:10:44 am
(https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-RBmhludPChI/T5z0ox0YuPI/AAAAAAAABB8/cGCDh7F69jc/w497-h373/DX.jpg)LOL TWO OF MY FAVE WRESTLERS OF ALL TIME, TRIPLE H AND SEAN MICHAELS FTW!
wwe fans + methods students might understand this..
Post by: gibsonaxxxs on April 30, 2012, 03:58:23 pm
(https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-RBmhludPChI/T5z0ox0YuPI/AAAAAAAABB8/cGCDh7F69jc/w497-h373/DX.jpg)LOL TWO OF MY FAVE WRESTLERS OF ALL TIME, TRIPLE H AND SEAN MICHAELS FTW!
wwe fans + methods students might understand this..
Well, Fyrefly, i guess you got your confirmation :D
Post by: Fyrefly on April 30, 2012, 05:18:48 pm
LOL TWO OF MY FAVE WRESTLERS OF ALL TIME, TRIPLE H AND SEAN MICHAELS FTW!
Well, Fyrefly, i guess you got your confirmation :D
TT doesn't count dammit.
Post by: 86 on May 01, 2012, 04:57:40 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/527972_3274857270223_1231196961_32421800_338528125_n.jpg)
Post by: DisaFear on May 01, 2012, 08:12:23 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/534391_301683853236468_135529993185189_764133_1806940610_n.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/391018_244884018916452_135529993185189_626967_1774811614_n.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/s720x720/558676_3449162742060_1060453748_3257005_272188069_n.jpg)
(http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m37uwlGTWB1r7pa1to1_500.jpg)
Post by: Phy124 on May 01, 2012, 08:20:41 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/552901_10150704057263382_754788381_9516615_1530415465_n.jpg)Don't even joke about this... :-[
Post by: Surgeon on May 01, 2012, 10:24:20 pm
Post by: ShortBlackChick on May 01, 2012, 11:37:52 pm
Post by: thushan on May 01, 2012, 11:39:37 pm
Oh and btw to all you meddies out there
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=398507050171315&set=a.398506840171336.92660.269352256420129&type=1&theater
Post by: pi on May 01, 2012, 11:41:14 pm
LOL
Oh and btw to all you meddies out there
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=398507050171315&set=a.398506840171336.92660.269352256420129&type=1&theater
HAHA, good one!
For those without fb:
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/301799_398507050171315_269352256420129_1306419_893765230_n.jpg)
(don't +1 this post if you find it funny btw)
Post by: nacho on May 01, 2012, 11:48:59 pm
probably the funniest thing ive seen ever in my whole life
omg
(http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ob3gzdVR1qdy0svo1_1280.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on May 02, 2012, 09:27:04 pm
BTW, I DON'T GET THOSE GOOFY MEMES D:
Post by: nacho on May 03, 2012, 09:41:09 pm
its the face and 'gooby pls' that makes me LOL.
Post by: pi on May 03, 2012, 10:49:08 pm
BTW, I DON'T GET THOSE GOOFY MEMES D:
Yeah, same here
Post by: Surgeon on May 03, 2012, 10:54:25 pm
Post by: Phy124 on May 04, 2012, 12:00:33 am
:)Relevant:
(http://cyberchalky.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/gandalf-asymptote-you-shall-not-pass1.jpg)
(probably already posted?)
Post by: Hutchoo on May 04, 2012, 01:56:59 am
Post by: pi on May 04, 2012, 08:24:22 pm
Quote
Hey, I just met you
And this is crazy,
But I'm pregnant
And it's your baby!
Post by: Gloamglozer on May 05, 2012, 04:13:35 pm
Post by: Stick on May 05, 2012, 05:19:28 pm
Post by: nacho on May 05, 2012, 10:53:18 pm
(http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee18/xnbs/nacho.jpg)
(http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee18/xnbs/thugtrio.jpg)
(http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee18/xnbs/ninwa.jpg)
(http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee18/xnbs/alzheimers.jpg)
dafuq go away nina
Post by: kensan on May 05, 2012, 11:35:56 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/OQ1r7.jpg)
Post by: Stick on May 06, 2012, 01:07:16 pm
(http://images.testfails.com/files/2011/08/test-exam-fail-pics-0244.jpg)
(http://images.testfails.com/files/2011/08/test-exam-fail-pics-0240.jpg)
(http://images.testfails.com/files/2011/08/test-exam-fail-pics-0234.jpg)
Post by: osgood on May 06, 2012, 03:03:53 pm
Post by: Phy124 on May 06, 2012, 06:02:18 pm
Post by: Genericname2365 on May 06, 2012, 11:52:39 pm
Post by: gibsonaxxxs on May 07, 2012, 07:43:28 pm
yeah its funny, but im serious :D
Post by: DisaFear on May 07, 2012, 07:48:33 pm
um i dunno if this could be considered a joke but how do you add pictures to your posts? ???
yeah its funny, but im serious :D
Here, I have a link to an image
http://images.picturesdepot.com/photo/f/funny_kid_snow_day-18542.jpg
To embed the image into the post, I place the link in between these tags,
Code: [Select]
[img] PUT IMAGE LINK HERE [/img] (http://images.picturesdepot.com/photo/f/funny_kid_snow_day-18542.jpg)
Post by: Gloamglozer on May 07, 2012, 07:57:52 pm
Post by: Phy124 on May 07, 2012, 08:13:16 pm
(http://i48.tinypic.com/1gsirt.jpg)Seems legit.
Post by: eeps on May 07, 2012, 08:42:45 pm
Post by: MeLucky on May 09, 2012, 01:59:42 am
(http://i48.tinypic.com/1gsirt.jpg)http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/stabbedmarine.asp
Post by: pi on May 10, 2012, 12:25:53 am
Post by: 1ne on May 10, 2012, 05:26:46 pm
Post by: Gloamglozer on May 10, 2012, 05:33:38 pm
Post by: IndefatigableLover on May 10, 2012, 05:44:26 pm
Post by: DisaFear on May 10, 2012, 05:44:39 pm
(http://feedmyfunny.com/images/8931.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/389670_213396792110158_187447321371772_367189_1833798416_n.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/s720x720/294912_348591631862761_176890359032890_859239_195838221_n.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/581302_284956601596678_163333123759027_618897_1356341213_n.jpg)
Post by: IndefatigableLover on May 10, 2012, 05:56:28 pm
Post by: JellyDonut on May 10, 2012, 07:21:40 pm
(http://chzvideogames.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/video-game-memes-gabes-house-was-littered-with-dropped-games.jpg)
A kinda old pic but it's fucking hilarious. Also, Dolan jokes has been run to the ground
Post by: Russ on May 11, 2012, 05:30:34 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/VafL5.png)
Post by: ninwa on May 11, 2012, 05:40:36 pm
:P
Post by: Russ on May 11, 2012, 06:07:26 pm
Post by: ninwa on May 11, 2012, 06:48:44 pm
Post by: Russ on May 11, 2012, 08:01:07 pm
Post by: Gloamglozer on May 11, 2012, 09:58:56 pm
Post by: IndefatigableLover on May 11, 2012, 11:12:42 pm
Post by: nacho on May 12, 2012, 11:44:17 am
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4136754_460s.jpg)
not a joke bepszod:
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4130954_700b_v1.jpg)
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4132976_700b_v1.jpg)
Post by: IndefatigableLover on May 12, 2012, 04:32:31 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on May 13, 2012, 09:02:15 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuAXoSnp14M&t=13m33s
If the video doesn't go to the right time, go to 13 mins and 33 seconds.
Want a swig of my coke?
Post by: nacho on May 14, 2012, 06:46:34 pm
HAHAHAH:LOOOOOOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuAXoSnp14M&t=13m33s
If the video doesn't go to the right time, go to 13 mins and 33 seconds.
Want a swig of my coke?
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4164914_460s.jpg)
Post by: Phy124 on May 14, 2012, 08:16:07 pm
It's actually ridiculous how paranoid I was during Exams last year.
Post by: nacho on May 14, 2012, 09:40:07 pm
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4157982_460s.jpg)
Post by: Bhootnike on May 15, 2012, 05:40:59 pm
his name is Ajay Devgun
Singham was awesome!
Post by: Bhootnike on May 15, 2012, 08:16:08 pm
Post by: IndefatigableLover on May 15, 2012, 08:31:17 pm
Post by: pi on May 17, 2012, 12:07:32 am
Post by: Bhootnike on May 17, 2012, 12:14:38 am
(http://chzsomuchpun.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/5fa22b02-8062-447c-8d79-2051a031a078.jpg)
the 'cysteine' chapel haha.. :p
incase no one knew. :p
Post by: enwiabe on May 17, 2012, 10:37:01 pm
well that backfired hilariously
This is the single greatest day of my life
Post by: nacho on May 17, 2012, 11:57:08 pm
gotta say i have nice eyes though
for the deathnoters
(http://9gag.com/gag/4195990)
Post by: ackjbe on May 18, 2012, 12:12:18 am
Post by: nacho on May 18, 2012, 02:54:18 pm
LOL story of my life bahaha
even the girl part maybe? probably not
Post by: pi on May 18, 2012, 04:12:29 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/538888_302797246474746_144226728998466_732135_420494475_n.jpg)
Post by: Gloamglozer on May 18, 2012, 07:23:39 pm
Post by: Markkiieee on May 18, 2012, 10:52:37 pm
Post by: TrueTears on May 19, 2012, 09:37:54 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on May 19, 2012, 11:49:19 pm
Post by: Gloamglozer on May 20, 2012, 01:05:33 pm
I've got something to add:
Dear Opportunist,
The glass was full of poison.
Sincerely,
The Sadist.
Post by: Mao on May 20, 2012, 02:51:27 pm
(http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/funny-pictures-chemistry-cat-pessimist-optimist.jpg)
(http://radbot.net/pix/796.jpg)
Post by: nacho on May 20, 2012, 07:48:46 pm
the expression on the cow's face makes me lose it.
best ever
i wanna pat the cow
Post by: Genericname2365 on May 20, 2012, 09:51:45 pm
Sadly I'm not sure this qualifies as a joke...
Post by: enwiabe on May 20, 2012, 10:06:07 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/hus28.png)
I wonder how on earth that happened
Post by: Lasercookie on May 20, 2012, 10:14:39 pm
I wonder how on earth that happenedIt looks like VCE is the airport code for this airport in Venice, Italy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venice_Marco_Polo_Airport
Post by: Markkiieee on May 20, 2012, 10:31:14 pm
Post by: kamil9876 on May 20, 2012, 11:38:10 pm
Post by: Gloamglozer on May 21, 2012, 08:33:20 pm
Post by: nacho on May 21, 2012, 11:28:40 pm
bahahahaha
who comes up with this stuff
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4229694_460s.jpg)
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4230714_460s_v1.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on May 22, 2012, 03:21:13 pm
in fact go visit his site it's hilarious http://www.booksofadam.com/
(http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7091/7137020797_058f3983cd_o.gif)
Post by: Gloamglozer on May 22, 2012, 08:14:17 pm
http://m.9gag.com/gag/4236074
Post by: Reckoner on May 22, 2012, 09:53:12 pm
(http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/562487_225576740888046_208039869308400_357771_1563187193_n.jpg)
(http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/20612778.jpg)
Post by: Markkiieee on May 22, 2012, 10:00:17 pm
dammit, all of the good chemistry jokes argon..
Post by: Hutchoo on May 22, 2012, 10:10:47 pm
=D
You guys will only get the joke if you've watched "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" :p
Post by: ninwa on May 22, 2012, 11:39:40 pm
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T EAT NO MEAT???
.... okay okay. I make you lamb
Post by: Gloamglozer on May 22, 2012, 11:42:39 pm
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on May 23, 2012, 09:11:35 am
Post by: nacho on May 23, 2012, 04:31:44 pm
I dont like bear grylls nemore
Post by: Menang on May 23, 2012, 05:18:39 pm
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4a0n9xg4z1qzcv7no1_r1_500.jpg)(http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/562487_225576740888046_208039869308400_357771_1563187193_n.jpg)
(http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/20612778.jpg)
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4a0n9xg4z1qzcv7no2_r1_500.jpg)
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on May 23, 2012, 05:26:25 pm
#2: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.
#1: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
#2: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
#1. THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!
#2. This is a lighthouse. Your call.
Post by: Fyrefly on May 23, 2012, 06:57:24 pm
(http://www.frodobooth.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/tumblr_m2zx18eY9R1qbohddo1_500.jpg)
OMG SO FKING TRUE.
This is coming from a medical receptionist (read: part-time cryptologist).
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on May 23, 2012, 07:17:51 pm
(http://www.frodobooth.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/tumblr_m2zx18eY9R1qbohddo1_500.jpg)
OMG SO FKING TRUE.
This is coming from a medical receptionist (read: part-time cryptologist).
Haha wow, you must have a hell of a time trying to decipher their scribbles.
Post by: IndefatigableLover on May 23, 2012, 07:40:28 pm
(http://images.physicsfails.com/files/2011/08/physics-fail-64.jpg)
(http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/funny-pictures-chemistry-cat-pessimist-optimist.jpg)
Politicians believes that the glass of water would be more empty if the opposition were in charge ;)
Post by: 86 on May 23, 2012, 09:16:31 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/389364_397498683604011_375960732424473_1346638_578602757_n.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on May 23, 2012, 09:41:15 pm
That reminds me of those stupid groups that end in "LIKE THIS IF YOU CRIED"
Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsUYxwIEerI
I lol'd so much.
Post by: tony3272 on May 23, 2012, 09:51:17 pm
^^^^^^^^^that's fkn hilarious :P
That reminds me of those stupid groups that end in "LIKE THIS IF YOU CRIED"
Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsUYxwIEerI
I lol'd so much.
his voice is so good!
Post by: AllAboutTheLGs on May 23, 2012, 09:57:21 pm
Post by: sam.utute on May 23, 2012, 10:06:44 pm
Made my day.^^^^^^^^^that's fkn hilarious :P
That reminds me of those stupid groups that end in "LIKE THIS IF YOU CRIED"
Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsUYxwIEerI
I lol'd so much.
his voice is so good!
Post by: ligands on May 24, 2012, 08:39:05 pm
(http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/389225_313530195391930_876907747_n.jpg)
Post by: golden on May 24, 2012, 09:33:59 pm
I like to think of myself as a champion of those who suffer from what is a very real and debilitating problem and of you as that person who has to ruin everything :'(
Don't worry you're a girl now.
Post by: nacho on May 24, 2012, 10:07:59 pm
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4265201_460s.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on May 26, 2012, 04:02:42 pm
Post by: Russ on May 26, 2012, 06:04:05 pm
http://www.howdoeshomeopathywork.com/
Post by: ecvkcuf on May 26, 2012, 08:05:53 pm
btw guys homeopathy works i have anecdotal evidence to support its claims
Post by: Woody on May 27, 2012, 02:21:34 am
Only in the summer time.
Post by: Gloamglozer on May 27, 2012, 03:57:00 pm
Post by: IndefatigableLover on May 27, 2012, 05:01:25 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TywmpMQYojs
:')
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on May 27, 2012, 07:39:01 pm
Post by: pi on May 27, 2012, 07:52:45 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/149450_400621106642790_1334004374_n.jpg)
Post by: thushan on May 27, 2012, 10:10:01 pm
Post by: Charmz on May 28, 2012, 08:10:09 pm
Post by: pi on May 28, 2012, 08:11:17 pm
(http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/internet-memes-titanic-how-jack-could-have-survived.png)
Vaguely related, but I lol'd:
(http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/internet-memes-cruise.png)
Post by: ecvkcuf on May 28, 2012, 08:21:43 pm
How to feed the homeless for free.
Post by: pi on May 28, 2012, 08:34:24 pm
Isn't really a joke, but is pretty interesting
Post by: nacho on May 29, 2012, 12:45:18 pm
Post by: Gloamglozer on May 29, 2012, 01:27:58 pm
(http://i46.tinypic.com/9fzn7p.jpg)
And sometimes, for some reason, I think of Mao?
Post by: nacho on May 29, 2012, 02:37:56 pm
And sometimes, for some reason, I think of Mao?you get an upvote from me for thinking of mao
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4300250_460s.jpg)
Post by: Phy124 on May 29, 2012, 04:56:56 pm
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/534165_471043769589081_244000298_n.jpg)
(http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/545804_470407272986064_1199456625_n.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on May 29, 2012, 05:50:47 pm
xD
HAHAHAHHA AND ANOTHER FAIL:
(http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/533353_390114431039792_264195243631712_1104432_1595419998_n.jpg)
Post by: Mao on May 30, 2012, 12:20:49 am
Or better:
(http://brian.carnell.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/lmao-t-shirt.jpg)
Post by: ecvkcuf on May 30, 2012, 07:21:45 am
wubwubwubwubwubwubwub
Post by: nacho on May 30, 2012, 12:11:38 pm
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4322820_460s.jpg)
Post by: Gloamglozer on May 30, 2012, 06:48:05 pm
Post by: lynt.br on May 30, 2012, 09:46:54 pm
(http://i46.tinypic.com/1zxodq9.jpg)
but legolas is an elf and gimili a dwarf!
Post by: Phy124 on May 30, 2012, 09:54:50 pm
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/577387_230048017095081_1513871501_n.jpg)
(http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/540449_245165422250007_1228554145_n.jpg)
(http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/578378_231632026936680_199119566854593_305758_1513322614_n.jpg)
(http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/582462_243735475726335_199119566854593_332916_1911945118_n.jpg)
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/559553_229304360502780_199119566854593_301283_784811644_n.jpg)
Post by: pi on May 30, 2012, 10:00:45 pm
(http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/562487_225576740888046_208039869308400_357771_1563187193_n.jpg)
(http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/20612778.jpg)
(http://i46.tinypic.com/o51enc.png)
Post by: ninwa on May 31, 2012, 10:20:06 am
Post by: pi on June 01, 2012, 11:29:53 pm
Post by: ninwa on June 02, 2012, 09:21:03 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/WvGlj.jpg)
Post by: Gloamglozer on June 03, 2012, 04:46:30 pm
(http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/552986_346219662114405_1671569066_n.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on June 03, 2012, 09:06:32 pm
I.O.U.
Post by: Gloamglozer on June 04, 2012, 09:46:55 pm
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on June 04, 2012, 11:12:56 pm
(http://www.humoroso.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/kNV7l.jpg)
Post by: IndefatigableLover on June 05, 2012, 08:03:09 pm
NaBrO.
What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.
Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
They bonded well from the minute they met.
Post by: charmanderp on June 05, 2012, 08:17:49 pm
*Because it was a polar bear*
Badum tish.
Post by: Hutchoo on June 05, 2012, 11:07:52 pm
AAHHAHAH
(http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/403445_309670565786619_321366678_n.jpg)
^^^ this one literally made me cry from laughing so damn much AHAHAHAH
Post by: Gloamglozer on June 06, 2012, 01:11:53 am
Post by: Russ on June 06, 2012, 07:02:13 pm
http://whatshouldwecallmedschool.tumblr.com/post/24412984329/when-a-professor-tests-you-on-concepts-s-he-mentioned
Post by: b^3 on June 06, 2012, 07:08:19 pm
(http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/20543391.jpg)(http://chzscience.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/funny-science-news-experiments-memes-well-you-dont-need-to-be-so-smug-about-it.jpg)
And the internet arguements go on over which is the correct one...... (read the comments) :P
http://science.memebase.com/2012/01/20/funny-science-news-experiments-memes-well-you-dont-need-to-be-so-smug-about-it/
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2011/12/13/funny-pictures-hipster-chemistry-cat/
EDIT: 1900th post
Post by: Hutchoo on June 07, 2012, 07:37:38 pm
Post by: pi on June 07, 2012, 08:06:16 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hX1YVzdnpEc#!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWgO9-AIROI&feature=relmfu :D
Post by: Hutchoo on June 07, 2012, 08:14:19 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hX1YVzdnpEc#!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWgO9-AIROI&feature=relmfu :D
The dancing at 1:01 made me laugh heaps xD.
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on June 08, 2012, 01:04:20 am
Post by: 86 on June 08, 2012, 06:23:57 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/BLuww.png)
Also check out the stupid follow up comments. Yes, if I subscribe to this guy I actually have a legitimate chance at winning an iPod! Surely the iPod is sitting next to his desk waiting to be sent to its new home as he goes through all his subscribers to select a winner! Surely he actually has an iPod to give away!
And what is up with the use of spaces between every fucking comma. It's not bloody necessary. And and and! Notice how they both put spaces between exclamation marks. Yes, they are totally two different people. Seems legit.
The worst part? a quarter of a million people are actually stupid enough to like his shit.
/endrant /sarcasm
Post by: Mao on June 09, 2012, 12:27:17 am
Post by: pi on June 09, 2012, 01:39:10 am
(http://i47.tinypic.com/xfx0ue.png)
Post by: 86 on June 09, 2012, 01:37:00 pm
^^That did not make me laugh. I don't approve.
It's more of a rage post. I find it funny how gullible he thinks we are, and how stupid people are to give him attention.
Well I thought this one was quite stupid :P
(http://i47.tinypic.com/xfx0ue.png)
Grammar Nazi overdrive >:(
Post by: Gloamglozer on June 09, 2012, 03:34:02 pm
Post by: ecvkcuf on June 10, 2012, 02:17:50 pm
Post by: nacho on June 10, 2012, 02:39:37 pm
mine was 'the joy of anal sex with a goat'
spot on i must say
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4436006_460s.jpg)
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4437087_460s.jpg)
Post by: Markkiieee on June 10, 2012, 02:47:16 pm
(Can someone tell me how to make the picture come up like everyone elses and not an attachment)
Post by: ecvkcuf on June 10, 2012, 02:50:45 pm
Emotional times...
(Can someone tell me how to make the picture come up like everyone elses and not an attachment)
[ img ] insert url here [ / img] (ignore spaces)
Post by: Charmz on June 10, 2012, 06:04:00 pm
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4435633_460s_v1.jpg)You're going to get 'the joy of anal sex with a goat' regardless of what number you pick.
mine was 'the joy of anal sex with a goat'
spot on i must say
Post by: Phy124 on June 10, 2012, 06:17:34 pm
You're going to get 'the joy of anal sex with a goat' regardless of what number you pick.Look, I'm sorry to do this but...
(http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/210/119/+_2acc5a8841f8752904d37f90a8014829.png?1322693145)
Post by: Gloamglozer on June 10, 2012, 06:59:56 pm
(http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/599281_10150876626616840_1967780960_n.jpg)
Post by: TrueTears on June 10, 2012, 07:26:44 pm
Wrong, they never specified the number between 1-9 has to be an integer, thus I picked(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4435633_460s_v1.jpg)You're going to get 'the joy of anal sex with a goat' regardless of what number you pick.
mine was 'the joy of anal sex with a goat'
spot on i must say
I got
Post by: Surgeon on June 10, 2012, 07:29:57 pm
Wrong, they never specified the number between 1-9 has to be an integer, thus I picked(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4435633_460s_v1.jpg)You're going to get 'the joy of anal sex with a goat' regardless of what number you pick.
mine was 'the joy of anal sex with a goat'
spot on i must say
I got, I could not comprehend the definition of "add the 2 digits together" as the number I got was irrational, hence my favorite movie is UNDEFINED.
Win.
Post by: Gloamglozer on June 10, 2012, 10:08:59 pm
Post by: nacho on June 10, 2012, 11:55:47 pm
From 9gag:
(http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/599281_10150876626616840_1967780960_n.jpg)
lol did anyone sit there and try these?
it felt quite spectacular i must say
Post by: Genericname2365 on June 11, 2012, 01:20:50 pm
(http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/internet-memes-cruise.png)(http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/303541_10150889135493722_1983626706_n.jpg)
Post by: IndefatigableLover on June 11, 2012, 01:40:55 pm
Post by: nacho on June 11, 2012, 04:17:35 pm
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4449303_460s.jpg)
nacho for global mod
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4445065_460s.jpg)
Post by: TrueTears on June 11, 2012, 05:33:08 pm
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4449303_460s.jpg)you better question it if that's nacho nachos!
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on June 11, 2012, 06:25:58 pm
Post by: TrueTears on June 11, 2012, 07:22:03 pm
Post by: nacho on June 11, 2012, 09:00:07 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on June 11, 2012, 09:49:23 pm
Wrong, they never specified the number between 1-9 has to be an integer, thus I picked(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4435633_460s_v1.jpg)You're going to get 'the joy of anal sex with a goat' regardless of what number you pick.
mine was 'the joy of anal sex with a goat'
spot on i must say
I got
(http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/4589/undefinedb.png)
Post by: TrueTears on June 11, 2012, 09:50:20 pm
post of the year right thereWrong, they never specified the number between 1-9 has to be an integer, thus I picked(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4435633_460s_v1.jpg)You're going to get 'the joy of anal sex with a goat' regardless of what number you pick.
mine was 'the joy of anal sex with a goat'
spot on i must say
I got
(http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/4589/undefinedb.png)
FUCKING LOL
Post by: Markkiieee on June 11, 2012, 09:50:58 pm
Post by: TrueTears on June 11, 2012, 09:51:36 pm
Post by: nacho on June 11, 2012, 11:10:24 pm
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4449558_460s.jpg)
you better question it if that's nacho nachos!just realised this could be an insult
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4452478_460s.jpg)
this is my message to you truetears
Post by: Stick on June 12, 2012, 11:08:10 am
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4435633_460s_v1.jpg)
mine was 'the joy of anal sex with a goat'
spot on i must say
I chose a decimal and still got 9. Fail. =_=
Post by: charmanderp on June 12, 2012, 12:34:19 pm
Typical Further student :P(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4435633_460s_v1.jpg)
mine was 'the joy of anal sex with a goat'
spot on i must say
I chose a decimal and still got 9. Fail. =_=
Post by: Stick on June 12, 2012, 01:11:31 pm
Post by: pi on June 12, 2012, 05:05:38 pm
100% true insight into Indian/Lankan households, no joke.
Post by: Gloamglozer on June 12, 2012, 11:46:17 pm
Post by: nacho on June 13, 2012, 04:03:07 pm
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4467304_460s.jpg)
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4470266_460s.jpg)
Post by: DisaFear on June 13, 2012, 05:31:17 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/wvMbC.jpg)
Post by: Charmz on June 13, 2012, 05:53:32 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on June 13, 2012, 09:03:27 pm
Post by: brenden on June 13, 2012, 09:30:29 pm
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on June 14, 2012, 05:09:54 pm
Post by: nacho on June 14, 2012, 07:33:29 pm
LOL sloths are funny
Post by: IndefatigableLover on June 14, 2012, 07:48:07 pm
LOL sloths are funny
Kristen Bell on Ellen :')
(http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/thefw.com/files/2012/02/Kristen-Bell-Meme-sloth.jpg)
Post by: Surgeon on June 14, 2012, 09:01:23 pm
Post by: Surgeon on June 14, 2012, 09:05:19 pm
Post by: paulsterio on June 14, 2012, 09:07:37 pm
Post by: Surgeon on June 14, 2012, 09:09:11 pm
Surgeon, March 23rd 1994 is the day I was born...
What a spectacular coincidence :)
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on June 14, 2012, 10:01:02 pm
http://crass.on.ru/flash/pingpong.html
Post by: Eddiee on June 14, 2012, 10:05:37 pm
Not quite a joke but I found this as creative as it is hilarious.
http://crass.on.ru/flash/pingpong.html
wtf did i just watch
Post by: brenden on June 14, 2012, 10:07:02 pm
A GATLING GUN!
AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! da-dum CHH!
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on June 14, 2012, 10:15:11 pm
Not quite a joke but I found this as creative as it is hilarious.
http://crass.on.ru/flash/pingpong.html
wtf did i just watch
An epic battle.
Post by: nisha on June 14, 2012, 10:15:44 pm
What's VCAA's favourite type of artillery?
A GATLING GUN!
AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! da-dum CHH!
hehehe. :)
Post by: kensan on June 14, 2012, 10:22:54 pm
Not quite a joke but I found this as creative as it is hilarious.Hhaha that's a Japanese show called 'Kasou Taishou', they have plenty of very clever skits. Youtube for more!
http://crass.on.ru/flash/pingpong.html
Post by: Soul_Khan on June 14, 2012, 11:32:27 pm
(http://i.qkme.me/3617eo.jpg)
Post by: pi on June 14, 2012, 11:36:20 pm
Post by: Gloamglozer on June 15, 2012, 05:08:03 pm
Post by: paulsterio on June 16, 2012, 03:00:25 pm
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on June 16, 2012, 03:58:47 pm
Also, this is exactly what I would do if i were a teacher:
(http://www.mizozo.com/images/item_images/46000/45630_gallery.jpg)
Post by: Kanon on June 16, 2012, 04:05:56 pm
Post by: KevinooBz on June 16, 2012, 07:45:26 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on June 16, 2012, 08:07:09 pm
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/181465_10150867968266906_1315786348_n.jpg).
Anyone thirsty ;D?
Post by: KevinooBz on June 16, 2012, 08:43:29 pm
Post by: paulsterio on June 17, 2012, 08:49:26 pm
Post by: paulsterio on June 17, 2012, 10:07:58 pm
Post by: pi on June 17, 2012, 10:12:54 pm
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/270954_321182117959265_1758276433_n.jpg?dl=1)
Then shouldn't people who have a greater mass be more attractive? ??? :P
Post by: paulsterio on June 17, 2012, 10:14:26 pm
Then shouldn't people who have a greater mass be more attractive? ??? :P
yeah, explains why all the girls are into taiga, he's big and beefy and can lift infinity kilograms ;)
Post by: 86 on June 17, 2012, 10:26:17 pm
(http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/598665_10150946002345822_849099178_n.jpg?dl=1)
I believe this was posted by Hutchoo a long, long time ago.
Post by: Surgeon on June 17, 2012, 10:36:46 pm
(http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/598665_10150946002345822_849099178_n.jpg?dl=1)
The number of people who couldn't figure this out in the comments section on 9GAG was disappointing :(
Post by: KevinooBz on June 17, 2012, 10:38:26 pm
Post by: Gloamglozer on June 17, 2012, 10:39:06 pm
Post by: 86 on June 17, 2012, 10:44:35 pm
(http://imgace.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/gas-who.jpg)
(http://www.lememe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/nahtzee.jpg)
And also the one above by Gloamy is hilarious ;D
Post by: Hutchoo on June 17, 2012, 10:52:44 pm
(http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/598665_10150946002345822_849099178_n.jpg?dl=1)
I believe this was posted by Hutchoo a long, long time ago.
Thanks for having my back bro.
(http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s720x720/429673_10150726374038923_54939303922_11216617_1698079647_n.jpg)
Paulsterio, this is unacceptable.
Post by: paulsterio on June 17, 2012, 11:01:46 pm
Post by: Kanon on June 17, 2012, 11:08:25 pm
Future AN Medicine people? :P
Post by: 86 on June 17, 2012, 11:21:34 pm
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5kcm4SLXv1r3jsrko1_400.png)
Post by: KevinooBz on June 17, 2012, 11:41:23 pm
Post by: charmanderp on June 18, 2012, 12:42:55 am
Post by: thushan on June 18, 2012, 01:17:02 am
(http://i.imgur.com/PKdEG.jpg)
Future AN Medicine people? :P
So THAT's why people thought I was Arabic... :P
Post by: Mao on June 18, 2012, 01:22:34 am
(http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/282309_373633642689763_1788508446_n.jpg)Says the man who DJs on a pair of Logitechs.
Post by: Phy124 on June 18, 2012, 02:16:04 am
Post by: pi on June 18, 2012, 02:32:38 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMOQnJ-SLHI&feature=player_detailpage#t=24s
Apu isn't Indian! :O
Post by: Phy124 on June 18, 2012, 02:45:51 am
Like when we were kids... "BART ISN'T A GUY!?"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMOQnJ-SLHI&feature=player_detailpage#t=24s
Apu isn't Indian! :O
(http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/19986382.jpg)
Post by: nacho on June 19, 2012, 12:44:44 am
Post by: TrueTears on June 19, 2012, 03:13:09 am
Post by: KevinooBz on June 19, 2012, 09:47:58 am
Post by: ninwa on June 19, 2012, 09:54:58 am
(http://img502.imageshack.us/img502/8049/55186210150907737041242.jpg)
wrong, obviously someone just photoshopped the H from "Hwong"
- Dwight Shrute
Post by: 86 on June 19, 2012, 11:51:40 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xujhimh5eWs&feature=player_embedded
Post by: tony3272 on June 19, 2012, 01:13:39 pm
Post by: Soul_Khan on June 19, 2012, 04:23:19 pm
Post by: Mao on June 19, 2012, 06:40:02 pm
From now on, if your post doesn't make me laugh, I will dish out some indiscriminate justice with my oversized banhammer.
And 9gag will know I am not to be fucked with.
The cancer that killed /b/ will not step foot here.
Post by: Surgeon on June 19, 2012, 06:48:09 pm
Mao: Fixed
Post by: Soul_Khan on June 19, 2012, 07:00:42 pm
Post by: golden on June 19, 2012, 07:37:34 pm
I personally dislike swearing but I think when students use it around each other in appropriate contexts it can serve to promote social rapport by highlighting their familarity of each other and comfort in general. But we must remember that the frequency of taboo language, 'tone' and attitude do bear relevance to this topic. Those factors of which suggest that he wasn't doing so out of the ordinary conversation.
The use filled in as an emphatic particle of high colloquialism, without the direct intention of damaging the hearer, but rather to signal his sarcastic seriousness on the issue.
Being offended in terms of the words isolated is warranted, but perhaps reconsider 'poor behaviour', as the usage wasn't necessarily of such nature. Maybe it is right that swearing on public forums is not a good thing, but there is a reason why the public swearing fine (as long as not obsessive) is so demised. Finally this is a jokes thread under the water cooler.
I think one of my points on last years EL exam was that swearing has become such social factor it has in many situations lost it's offensive effect, has benefits and that it has become part of the Australian identity in some people's eyes.
But for some it definitely is a sensitive issue, and I respect that. I just wanted to put out some thinking points if it is at all of any relevance.
Post by: ninwa on June 19, 2012, 07:40:52 pm
Hey guys, guys, guys, I have an idea.
From now on, if your post doesn't make me laugh, I will dish out some indiscriminate justice with my oversized banhammer.
And 9gag will know I am not to be fucked with.
The cancer that killed /b/ will not step foot here.
AND I AM EXTENDING THIS TO SHITTY REDDIT RAGE COMICS
Post by: ligands on June 19, 2012, 07:51:50 pm
Post by: nacho on June 19, 2012, 08:11:08 pm
Mao: Fixed
Post by: pi on June 19, 2012, 11:40:03 pm
Post by: Surgeon on June 20, 2012, 12:18:36 am
Mao: Fixed
Post by: Surgeon on June 20, 2012, 12:23:29 am
for those who haven't seen this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YersIyzsOpc&feature=player_embedded
Have you ever been so mad that you tried stuffing a remote into your buttocks?
I couldn't stop laughing after seeing that haha
Post by: Mao on June 20, 2012, 12:42:42 am
Post by: datfatcat on June 20, 2012, 01:05:29 am
Post by: paulsterio on June 20, 2012, 01:08:17 am
Mao: (http://www.atarnotes.com/forum/index.php?action=dlattach;attach=1406;type=avatar)
drfatcat: (http://www.atarnotes.com/forum/index.php?action=dlattach;attach=11401;type=avatar)
Post by: nacho on June 20, 2012, 07:25:07 pm
Post by: pi on June 20, 2012, 07:26:37 pm
Post by: Stick on June 20, 2012, 08:15:21 pm
Post by: ninwa on June 20, 2012, 08:19:10 pm
http://9gag.com/ --> all the hilarity the world will ever need
get out
Post by: SenriAkane on June 20, 2012, 08:21:57 pm
I concur with ninahttp://9gag.com/ --> all the hilarity the world will ever need
get out
Post by: brenden on June 20, 2012, 08:25:19 pm
Post by: datfatcat on June 20, 2012, 08:40:47 pm
Post by: datfatcat on June 20, 2012, 08:48:25 pm
Post by: eeps on June 20, 2012, 08:50:18 pm
This is how I get my students. Get on it.
Post by: WhoTookMyUsername on June 20, 2012, 08:50:42 pm
(http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/photo/1f/10386/Dead-Baby-Jokes-are-Timeless.jpg)
i don't find this funny at all and very distasteful
Post by: ninwa on June 20, 2012, 08:52:52 pm
Post by: nacho on June 20, 2012, 09:01:22 pm
Brendenhttp://9gag.com/ --> all the hilarity the world will ever need
get out
(http://i.qkme.me/355vn9.jpg)
nacho is here now its okay
one for you too nina
(http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02052/riot-police-hug_2052681i.jpg)
Post by: datfatcat on June 20, 2012, 09:10:03 pm
Post by: datfatcat on June 20, 2012, 09:13:50 pm
Post by: gibsonaxxxs on June 20, 2012, 09:15:44 pm
Post by: paulsterio on June 20, 2012, 09:41:37 pm
Post by: Mao on June 20, 2012, 09:44:59 pm
(http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/7/2010/05/gawker_campfirescreensnapz001.jpg)
I don't think this is actually funny unless you've used linux before.
But good work on non-shit content.
Post by: Kanon on June 20, 2012, 09:48:18 pm
Post by: paulsterio on June 20, 2012, 10:16:19 pm
Post by: pi on June 21, 2012, 03:38:33 am
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/600969_277256722371959_1639801552_n.jpg)
(yep, even a pirate bay logo in the top-right... =.=)
Post by: nacho on June 21, 2012, 04:01:35 pm
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4551122_460s.jpg)
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4552307_460s.jpg)
Post by: KevinooBz on June 21, 2012, 04:20:24 pm
Post by: nacho on June 21, 2012, 04:22:11 pm
(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/i-should-buy-a-boat-cat.jpg)LOL! Cats don't read and drink coffee/tea and wear clothes. this is the silliest thing i've seen in my life
Post by: Surgeon on June 21, 2012, 04:24:05 pm
(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/i-should-buy-a-boat-cat.jpg)LOL! Cats don't read and drink coffee/tea and wear clothes. this is the silliest thing i've seen in my life
Mine does
Post by: golden on June 21, 2012, 04:25:58 pm
(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/i-should-buy-a-boat-cat.jpg)LOL! Cats don't read and drink coffee/tea and wear clothes. this is the silliest thing i've seen in my life
Look harder.
Post by: nacho on June 21, 2012, 04:45:29 pm
Look harder.You have no idea how hard that hit me.
Reference:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZfeR-QE5io#t=00m36s
:*) love it
Look harder.
(http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lh8ctwMy9g1qdwip6.png)
You've made me so sad, now that I remembered mufasa died
also, from the top comment:
Mufasa:Disney...
Disney:*Looks up* Mufasa...
Mufasa"Disney, you have forgotten me
Disney:NO! how could i?
Mufasa:you have forgotten who you are and so forgotten me, look inside yourself Disney, you are more than what you have become...you must take your place in the circle of classic disney movies..
Disney:how can i go back? im not who i used to be...
Mufasa:remember who you are..you are Disney, and the one true King of movies...remember...
Disney..NO..PLEASE..DONT LEAVE ME...MUFASA!
Post by: paulsterio on June 21, 2012, 09:53:07 pm
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/03/Stop_Kony_2012_poster.png/200px-Stop_Kony_2012_poster.png)
Weeks later:
(http://www.gossipian.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/wanker.png)
Post by: pi on June 21, 2012, 09:58:19 pm
Post by: paulsterio on June 21, 2012, 10:01:33 pm
^I swear someone posted that a while ago...
Oh well, let's all laugh at it again :D
Post by: Hutchoo on June 21, 2012, 10:50:04 pm
Very true xD.
Post by: Gloamglozer on June 21, 2012, 11:11:37 pm
(http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/599366_10150986319537250_2085467590_n.jpg)
Post by: datfatcat on June 21, 2012, 11:37:52 pm
Post by: pi on June 22, 2012, 05:03:38 pm
Post by: Mao on June 22, 2012, 09:03:14 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/s480x480/562083_438186829535667_604973128_n.jpg)
I cringe.
(http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/000/554/facepalm.jpg)
Post by: Phy124 on June 23, 2012, 12:13:01 pm
Me \o/
Post by: paulsterio on June 23, 2012, 12:53:26 pm
Post by: ligands on June 23, 2012, 01:45:28 pm
Post by: datfatcat on June 23, 2012, 06:19:58 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on June 23, 2012, 07:56:23 pm
Post by: WhoTookMyUsername on June 23, 2012, 09:19:05 pm
Post by: duhherro on June 23, 2012, 11:13:20 pm
(http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/229920_458761857468739_1745416154_n.jpg)
This is how I get my students. Get on it.
Cannot stop laughing
Post by: Soul_Khan on June 24, 2012, 12:53:58 am
(http://chzscience.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/funny-science-news-experiments-memes-so-forgetful.jpg)
Post by: datfatcat on June 24, 2012, 11:51:39 am
Post by: Soul_Khan on June 24, 2012, 03:39:14 pm
Post by: nacho on June 24, 2012, 03:51:06 pm
Post by: DisaFear on June 24, 2012, 06:59:11 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/VYVTY.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/ccOzm.jpg)
Post by: TrueTears on June 24, 2012, 08:26:19 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoTIaRyGzac&feature=related
Post by: Mao on June 24, 2012, 10:36:21 pm
This kid's a mathematician at heart:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoTIaRyGzac&feature=related
World of Warcraft. Moderated by an office full of mathematicians.
(http://img0.mmo.mmo4arab.com/news/2011/02/07/wow/wow01.jpg)
Post by: TrueTears on June 24, 2012, 11:00:54 pm
Next WoW patch: Install LaTeXThis kid's a mathematician at heart:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoTIaRyGzac&feature=related
World of Warcraft. Moderated by an office full of mathematicians.
(http://img0.mmo.mmo4arab.com/news/2011/02/07/wow/wow01.jpg)
Post by: Mao on June 24, 2012, 11:02:44 pm
\select{target1}
\cast[5]{HugeFuckingFireBall}
\end{cast}
\newline
Post by: TrueTears on June 24, 2012, 11:03:40 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on June 24, 2012, 11:11:53 pm
\begin{cast}
\select{target1}
\cast[5]{HugeFuckingFireBall}
\end{cast}
\newline
LOL!
Post by: paulsterio on June 25, 2012, 02:13:12 pm
Post by: sam.utute on June 25, 2012, 03:39:13 pm
(http://cl.jroo.me/z3/I/r/E/d/a.aaa-Baby-with-cat-funny.jpg)The most adorable baby/cat photo I've seen.
Post by: datfatcat on June 25, 2012, 09:20:09 pm
Post by: nacho on June 25, 2012, 09:29:29 pm
The most adorable baby/cat photo I've seen.sounds like a challenge
(http://i.imgur.com/fmaEi.jpg)
Post by: Fyrefly on June 25, 2012, 09:33:45 pm
The most adorable baby/cat photo I've seen.sounds like a challenge
(http://i.imgur.com/fmaEi.jpg)
Fail.
Post by: golden on June 25, 2012, 09:37:10 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/pJtxq.jpg)
Nacho what do you search up on these days?
Post by: sam.utute on June 25, 2012, 09:52:51 pm
I don't even want to know what was required to find that photo.(http://i.imgur.com/pJtxq.jpg)
Nacho what do you search up on these days?
Post by: nacho on June 25, 2012, 10:02:01 pm
Fail.The most adorable baby/cat photo I've seen.sounds like a challenge
Wrong.
From wikipedia - Usage of the 'forward slash' /
Quote
The slash is most commonly used as the word substitute for "or" which indicates a choice is present. Example: Male/Female, Y/N, He/She
The most adorable baby/cat photo I've seen.
as the photo I provided contained one of the two components (baby or cat) it was not a fail
Nacho what do you search up on these days?"Examples of anarchy"
Post by: duhherro on June 25, 2012, 10:24:22 pm
(http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/22498588.jpg)
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4274074_700b.jpg)
(http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/197685_324425664304651_1403569132_n.jpg)
(http://distilleryimage4.s3.amazonaws.com/c80cd2eaa9ef11e180d51231380fcd7e_7.jpg)
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5h0y6nCY41qb5gkjo1_r1_500.png)
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4fpizyMZR1r5zq6ao1_250.gif)
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4fpizyMZR1r5zq6ao2_250.gif)
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4fpizyMZR1r5zq6ao3_500.gif)
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3d71pa8sS1qchpilo1_r1_400.png)
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxkvkg2vWv1qc3449o6_500.jpg)
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvk0rkDtmn1qbbpaoo1_400.jpg)
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzibasu4JW1qbyj2yo1_400.png)
Post by: ellaa81 on June 26, 2012, 03:45:23 pm
What is this. I don't even...
Post by: Soul_Khan on June 26, 2012, 03:48:56 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d85YyEDTBMU&feature=youtu.beThat's a very creative video. I bet her hair is silky smooth after that glorious shower.
What is this. I don't even...
Post by: ellaa81 on June 26, 2012, 03:51:51 pm
That's a very creative video. I bet her hair is silky smooth after that glorious shower.
Cereal generally has that effect on hair! It'd take so long to unclog the shower :s
Post by: pi on June 26, 2012, 03:57:46 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d85YyEDTBMU&feature=youtu.be
What is this. I don't even...
The links to videos on the side... WTF
Post by: Phy124 on June 26, 2012, 04:28:21 pm
(http://i49.tinypic.com/eak4dj.png)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d85YyEDTBMU&feature=youtu.be
What is this. I don't even...
The links to videos on the side... WTF
Post by: Somye on June 26, 2012, 04:34:36 pm
Post by: Kanon on June 26, 2012, 05:07:59 pm
I don't care what anyone says this is the best video ever.
Post by: KevinooBz on June 26, 2012, 05:15:30 pm
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/303303_432823156750403_1568973422_n.jpg?dl=1)(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4560704_700b.jpg)
Post by: ligands on June 26, 2012, 05:26:22 pm
dafuq did i just watch
Post by: paulsterio on June 27, 2012, 03:44:50 pm
Post by: nacho on June 27, 2012, 04:53:17 pm
(http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/229868_411399682245149_724347757_n.jpg?dl=1)PAUL I DEMAND YOU STOP STARING AT ME RIGHT NOW!
Post by: duhherro on June 27, 2012, 08:08:38 pm
Post by: IndefatigableLover on June 27, 2012, 09:24:58 pm
Post by: duhherro on June 28, 2012, 06:22:05 pm
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6851xpW6E1r6xvfko1_400.jpg)
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvyhgaL09a1r50xxzo1_250.jpg)
(http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/22632994.jpg)
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwqogy9snA1qzrlhgo2_250.gif)
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw2l2n95iM1qg5muso1_500.jpg)
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvgoyyEVZn1qav1qbo1_500.jpg)
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luj2aatQ6k1qfoi1no1_500.png)
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltx1cmeYiq1r0psn7o1_400.jpg)
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lul8k3IN531qfo01bo1_500.jpg)
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llszm4AmlO1qzny6do1_500.gif)
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpc18khj2p1qm6ngvo1_500.jpg)
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltlttdnG201qjjjkmo1_500.jpg)
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt75jbVcbf1qcq9fyo1_500.jpg)
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt1kjlcTxk1qf2bzho1_500.png)
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsgr8wc5CV1qcfba3o2_500.gif)
Post by: Hutchoo on June 29, 2012, 01:13:13 am
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on June 29, 2012, 03:00:43 am
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyrmv6C5oN1r3k73wo1_400.gif)
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyksghM0LB1r3k73wo1_500.png)
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyf9ywFoOJ1r3k73wo1_r1_400.gif)
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly5ynuahQL1r3k73wo1_500.gif)
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx55x8Ewsx1r3k73wo1_500.jpg)
Post by: Gloamglozer on June 29, 2012, 02:07:38 pm
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on June 29, 2012, 02:41:13 pm
Post by: QuantumJG on June 29, 2012, 05:03:03 pm
Post by: nacho on June 30, 2012, 02:43:02 am
Post by: nacho on June 30, 2012, 02:59:27 am
Post by: datfatcat on July 01, 2012, 03:52:27 pm
Post by: nacho on July 01, 2012, 09:21:54 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on July 01, 2012, 09:49:06 pm
Post by: ligands on July 01, 2012, 10:02:01 pm
Post by: pi on July 03, 2012, 06:30:01 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/252791_432832620071088_312650003_n.jpg)
Post by: WhoTookMyUsername on July 03, 2012, 06:48:09 pm
Homo homo sapiens sapiens (Y)
Post by: pi on July 03, 2012, 08:58:00 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/484438_339813716093339_1426860433_n.jpg)
Post by: kamil9876 on July 03, 2012, 09:53:52 pm
/facepalm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/252791_432832620071088_312650003_n.jpg)
Terrible! We have this same problem in Mathematics as well: We're constantly talking about Homeomorphisms, Homomorphisms and Homological Algebra.
Post by: TrueTears on July 03, 2012, 10:11:36 pm
We also have the same problem in statistics: We're constantly talking about Homoscedasticity and Homogeneity of Variance!/facepalm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/252791_432832620071088_312650003_n.jpg)
Terrible! We have this same problem in Mathematics as well: We're constantly talking about Homeomorphisms, Homomorphisms and Homological Algebra.
Post by: datfatcat on July 03, 2012, 10:40:04 pm
We also have the same problem in statistics: We're constantly talking about Homoscedasticity and Homogeneity of Variance!/facepalm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/252791_432832620071088_312650003_n.jpg)
Terrible! We have this same problem in Mathematics as well: We're constantly talking about Homeomorphisms, Homomorphisms and Homological Algebra.
Sigh... in biology class, we are talking about homologus chromosomes!
Post by: IndefatigableLover on July 03, 2012, 10:58:53 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/532397_10150910406444998_1762269149_n.jpg)
Post by: ligands on July 03, 2012, 11:09:18 pm
(http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/559301_438721176168876_1712017693_n.jpg)
(http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/599326_417783418263064_253305068_n.jpg)
sorry for the 9gag, it came up on my facebook and i laughed so hard
Post by: Stick on July 04, 2012, 10:19:12 am
Best part is from 4:50 to 6:05. :)
Post by: charmanderp on July 04, 2012, 11:42:21 am
We have the exact same problem in Literature!We also have the same problem in statistics: We're constantly talking about Homoscedasticity and Homogeneity of Variance!/facepalm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/252791_432832620071088_312650003_n.jpg)
Terrible! We have this same problem in Mathematics as well: We're constantly talking about Homeomorphisms, Homomorphisms and Homological Algebra.
Sigh... in biology class, we are talking about homologus chromosomes!
Wait, no....in that case we're actually talking about homosexuality.
Post by: Gloamglozer on July 04, 2012, 11:52:19 am
Post by: kamil9876 on July 04, 2012, 02:05:23 pm
Post by: datfatcat on July 04, 2012, 02:50:47 pm
(http://www.stevenhumour.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/fat-kok.jpg)
(http://static.themetapicture.com/media/funny-school-bus-Mercedes.jpg)
(http://www.humorhound.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/funny-sign-ladies-slippery-when-wet.jpg)
(http://funny-pictures-blog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Funny-Quotes---I-am-a-Ninja.jpg)
Post by: 86 on July 04, 2012, 04:02:39 pm
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081113155014AAvBr5D
Post by: paulsterio on July 04, 2012, 05:53:10 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_zvEm1KyQ8
lame
Post by: Kanon on July 04, 2012, 06:04:46 pm
Post by: Soul_Khan on July 04, 2012, 06:20:50 pm
I hope Jessica Biel names her son Batmo.
(http://data.whicdn.com/images/22705367/happy-i-see-what-you-did-there-l_large.png)
Post by: Hutchoo on July 04, 2012, 11:01:47 pm
Post by: golden on July 05, 2012, 02:58:50 pm
I hope Jessica Biel names her son Batmo.
Assuming that the child takes her last name.
Post by: nacho on July 05, 2012, 08:41:54 pm
Post by: Phy124 on July 06, 2012, 03:05:06 am
Twilight : Breaking Dawn Part 2 - Official Teaser Trailer
ooo burn.
And while i'm here, no one liked my jokes so;
(http://i.imgur.com/nojWx.gif)
Post by: Markkiieee on July 06, 2012, 05:28:46 am
Post by: Panicmode on July 06, 2012, 05:37:52 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjio-F47IfM
Best part is from 4:50 to 6:05. :)
I see you that and raise you this.
Do you have Hoichy for chemistry?
Post by: Stick on July 06, 2012, 10:20:01 am
Post by: duhherro on July 06, 2012, 05:52:53 pm
()
Genius
Post by: nacho on July 06, 2012, 10:48:00 pm
So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a very smart wasp. He gets his high school diploma in a little under 3 years, with a 4.0 GPA and all that snazz. After high school, believe it or not, the wasp gets accepted to Harvard. Harvard!
This too proves to be no challenge for our hero, as he graduates in just two years, again a 4.0, on the Dean’s list, and all that snazz. Not to mention all the clubs and sports he was in-the newspaper, rowing, student government-and the fact that he was by far the most popular student on campus. Even his professors looked up to him. He goes on to get two PhDs, and when he finishes his education, the wasp faces a bit of a dilemma. How does he apply his knowledge now?
Where does he go from here? He decides to try out politics. After all, he was popular throughout school, did well in Harvard government. So he runs for mayor, and wins in a landslide. He greatly reforms the city, fixing virtually all its major problems. He runs for governor and again wins in a landslide. Two years later, the presidential election was coming up, and the wasp decides he might as well go for it. Of course, he wins in the largest landslide in US presidential history. His presidency goes exceedingly well-he is loved by all parties, and has the highest approval ratings in history. He also finds the cures for cancer, AIDS, and broken hearts while in the White House.
After 8 years (yes, of course he was reelected) the time has come for him to leave his office. Even his successor his saddened by the wasp’s departure, but they all know it’s what must be done. Back at his vacation home in California his first day after leaving office, the wasp looks back on his long and fruitful life. He realizes that he hasn’t been back to his hive at all since that first day he left. He suddenly feels a twang of guilt as he realizes how much he misses his parents and his little brother. So he heads back to the hive, looking more worn out than he remembers. He goes inside and greets his family, who are overjoyed at the sight of him. He talks about how his life has gone as his family listens in wonderment.
Eventually he decides he is thirsty, so he decides to visit the old watering hole he remembered. Once he gets there though, there’s an extremely long line. He decides it’s worth the wait, so gets in line. One hour. Two hours. This is the slowest moving line he’s ever seen! Eventually he calculates that it could be a few days before he gets to the front of the line, so decides it’s not worth it. He decides to go get some cider to drink instead, but what do you know, another huge line of people waiting for cider! He remembers one other drinking area that never had a long line-fruit punch! So he decides to go get punch. He arrives, and lo and behold, there’s no punch line!
Post by: tony3272 on July 06, 2012, 11:01:53 pm
So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do.tl;dr
So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a very smart wasp. He gets his high school diploma in a little under 3 years, with a 4.0 GPA and all that snazz. After high school, believe it or not, the wasp gets accepted to Harvard. Harvard!
This too proves to be no challenge for our hero, as he graduates in just two years, again a 4.0, on the Dean’s list, and all that snazz. Not to mention all the clubs and sports he was in-the newspaper, rowing, student government-and the fact that he was by far the most popular student on campus. Even his professors looked up to him. He goes on to get two PhDs, and when he finishes his education, the wasp faces a bit of a dilemma. How does he apply his knowledge now?
Where does he go from here? He decides to try out politics. After all, he was popular throughout school, did well in Harvard government. So he runs for mayor, and wins in a landslide. He greatly reforms the city, fixing virtually all its major problems. He runs for governor and again wins in a landslide. Two years later, the presidential election was coming up, and the wasp decides he might as well go for it. Of course, he wins in the largest landslide in US presidential history. His presidency goes exceedingly well-he is loved by all parties, and has the highest approval ratings in history. He also finds the cures for cancer, AIDS, and broken hearts while in the White House.
After 8 years (yes, of course he was reelected) the time has come for him to leave his office. Even his successor his saddened by the wasp’s departure, but they all know it’s what must be done. Back at his vacation home in California his first day after leaving office, the wasp looks back on his long and fruitful life. He realizes that he hasn’t been back to his hive at all since that first day he left. He suddenly feels a twang of guilt as he realizes how much he misses his parents and his little brother. So he heads back to the hive, looking more worn out than he remembers. He goes inside and greets his family, who are overjoyed at the sight of him. He talks about how his life has gone as his family listens in wonderment.
Eventually he decides he is thirsty, so he decides to visit the old watering hole he remembered. Once he gets there though, there’s an extremely long line. He decides it’s worth the wait, so gets in line. One hour. Two hours. This is the slowest moving line he’s ever seen! Eventually he calculates that it could be a few days before he gets to the front of the line, so decides it’s not worth it. He decides to go get some cider to drink instead, but what do you know, another huge line of people waiting for cider! He remembers one other drinking area that never had a long line-fruit punch! So he decides to go get punch. He arrives, and lo and behold, there’s no punch line!
Post by: Menang on July 06, 2012, 11:06:31 pm
read it, worth it for all the lolz. :PSo there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do.tl;dr
So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a very smart wasp. He gets his high school diploma in a little under 3 years, with a 4.0 GPA and all that snazz. After high school, believe it or not, the wasp gets accepted to Harvard. Harvard!
This too proves to be no challenge for our hero, as he graduates in just two years, again a 4.0, on the Dean’s list, and all that snazz. Not to mention all the clubs and sports he was in-the newspaper, rowing, student government-and the fact that he was by far the most popular student on campus. Even his professors looked up to him. He goes on to get two PhDs, and when he finishes his education, the wasp faces a bit of a dilemma. How does he apply his knowledge now?
Where does he go from here? He decides to try out politics. After all, he was popular throughout school, did well in Harvard government. So he runs for mayor, and wins in a landslide. He greatly reforms the city, fixing virtually all its major problems. He runs for governor and again wins in a landslide. Two years later, the presidential election was coming up, and the wasp decides he might as well go for it. Of course, he wins in the largest landslide in US presidential history. His presidency goes exceedingly well-he is loved by all parties, and has the highest approval ratings in history. He also finds the cures for cancer, AIDS, and broken hearts while in the White House.
After 8 years (yes, of course he was reelected) the time has come for him to leave his office. Even his successor his saddened by the wasp’s departure, but they all know it’s what must be done. Back at his vacation home in California his first day after leaving office, the wasp looks back on his long and fruitful life. He realizes that he hasn’t been back to his hive at all since that first day he left. He suddenly feels a twang of guilt as he realizes how much he misses his parents and his little brother. So he heads back to the hive, looking more worn out than he remembers. He goes inside and greets his family, who are overjoyed at the sight of him. He talks about how his life has gone as his family listens in wonderment.
Eventually he decides he is thirsty, so he decides to visit the old watering hole he remembered. Once he gets there though, there’s an extremely long line. He decides it’s worth the wait, so gets in line. One hour. Two hours. This is the slowest moving line he’s ever seen! Eventually he calculates that it could be a few days before he gets to the front of the line, so decides it’s not worth it. He decides to go get some cider to drink instead, but what do you know, another huge line of people waiting for cider! He remembers one other drinking area that never had a long line-fruit punch! So he decides to go get punch. He arrives, and lo and behold, there’s no punch line!
Post by: Gloamglozer on July 06, 2012, 11:19:58 pm
read it, worth it for all the lolz. :PSo there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do.tl;dr
So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a very smart wasp. He gets his high school diploma in a little under 3 years, with a 4.0 GPA and all that snazz. After high school, believe it or not, the wasp gets accepted to Harvard. Harvard!
This too proves to be no challenge for our hero, as he graduates in just two years, again a 4.0, on the Dean’s list, and all that snazz. Not to mention all the clubs and sports he was in-the newspaper, rowing, student government-and the fact that he was by far the most popular student on campus. Even his professors looked up to him. He goes on to get two PhDs, and when he finishes his education, the wasp faces a bit of a dilemma. How does he apply his knowledge now?
Where does he go from here? He decides to try out politics. After all, he was popular throughout school, did well in Harvard government. So he runs for mayor, and wins in a landslide. He greatly reforms the city, fixing virtually all its major problems. He runs for governor and again wins in a landslide. Two years later, the presidential election was coming up, and the wasp decides he might as well go for it. Of course, he wins in the largest landslide in US presidential history. His presidency goes exceedingly well-he is loved by all parties, and has the highest approval ratings in history. He also finds the cures for cancer, AIDS, and broken hearts while in the White House.
After 8 years (yes, of course he was reelected) the time has come for him to leave his office. Even his successor his saddened by the wasp’s departure, but they all know it’s what must be done. Back at his vacation home in California his first day after leaving office, the wasp looks back on his long and fruitful life. He realizes that he hasn’t been back to his hive at all since that first day he left. He suddenly feels a twang of guilt as he realizes how much he misses his parents and his little brother. So he heads back to the hive, looking more worn out than he remembers. He goes inside and greets his family, who are overjoyed at the sight of him. He talks about how his life has gone as his family listens in wonderment.
Eventually he decides he is thirsty, so he decides to visit the old watering hole he remembered. Once he gets there though, there’s an extremely long line. He decides it’s worth the wait, so gets in line. One hour. Two hours. This is the slowest moving line he’s ever seen! Eventually he calculates that it could be a few days before he gets to the front of the line, so decides it’s not worth it. He decides to go get some cider to drink instead, but what do you know, another huge line of people waiting for cider! He remembers one other drinking area that never had a long line-fruit punch! So he decides to go get punch. He arrives, and lo and behold, there’s no punch line!
Totally agree. It was worth it. :D Good job right there nacho.
Post by: nacho on July 06, 2012, 11:35:12 pm
He touched the stove before it was cool.
Post by: charmanderp on July 06, 2012, 11:35:52 pm
So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do.(http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6kxhueORD1qdg6of.gif)
So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a very smart wasp. He gets his high school diploma in a little under 3 years, with a 4.0 GPA and all that snazz. After high school, believe it or not, the wasp gets accepted to Harvard. Harvard!
This too proves to be no challenge for our hero, as he graduates in just two years, again a 4.0, on the Dean’s list, and all that snazz. Not to mention all the clubs and sports he was in-the newspaper, rowing, student government-and the fact that he was by far the most popular student on campus. Even his professors looked up to him. He goes on to get two PhDs, and when he finishes his education, the wasp faces a bit of a dilemma. How does he apply his knowledge now?
Where does he go from here? He decides to try out politics. After all, he was popular throughout school, did well in Harvard government. So he runs for mayor, and wins in a landslide. He greatly reforms the city, fixing virtually all its major problems. He runs for governor and again wins in a landslide. Two years later, the presidential election was coming up, and the wasp decides he might as well go for it. Of course, he wins in the largest landslide in US presidential history. His presidency goes exceedingly well-he is loved by all parties, and has the highest approval ratings in history. He also finds the cures for cancer, AIDS, and broken hearts while in the White House.
After 8 years (yes, of course he was reelected) the time has come for him to leave his office. Even his successor his saddened by the wasp’s departure, but they all know it’s what must be done. Back at his vacation home in California his first day after leaving office, the wasp looks back on his long and fruitful life. He realizes that he hasn’t been back to his hive at all since that first day he left. He suddenly feels a twang of guilt as he realizes how much he misses his parents and his little brother. So he heads back to the hive, looking more worn out than he remembers. He goes inside and greets his family, who are overjoyed at the sight of him. He talks about how his life has gone as his family listens in wonderment.
Eventually he decides he is thirsty, so he decides to visit the old watering hole he remembered. Once he gets there though, there’s an extremely long line. He decides it’s worth the wait, so gets in line. One hour. Two hours. This is the slowest moving line he’s ever seen! Eventually he calculates that it could be a few days before he gets to the front of the line, so decides it’s not worth it. He decides to go get some cider to drink instead, but what do you know, another huge line of people waiting for cider! He remembers one other drinking area that never had a long line-fruit punch! So he decides to go get punch. He arrives, and lo and behold, there’s no punch line!
(http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6i1irDoJP1qgiu81.gif)
Post by: Hutchoo on July 06, 2012, 11:44:07 pm
Post by: Soul_Khan on July 07, 2012, 01:53:39 am
So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do.
So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a very smart wasp. He gets his high school diploma in a little under 3 years, with a 4.0 GPA and all that snazz. After high school, believe it or not, the wasp gets accepted to Harvard. Harvard!
This too proves to be no challenge for our hero, as he graduates in just two years, again a 4.0, on the Dean’s list, and all that snazz. Not to mention all the clubs and sports he was in-the newspaper, rowing, student government-and the fact that he was by far the most popular student on campus. Even his professors looked up to him. He goes on to get two PhDs, and when he finishes his education, the wasp faces a bit of a dilemma. How does he apply his knowledge now?
Where does he go from here? He decides to try out politics. After all, he was popular throughout school, did well in Harvard government. So he runs for mayor, and wins in a landslide. He greatly reforms the city, fixing virtually all its major problems. He runs for governor and again wins in a landslide. Two years later, the presidential election was coming up, and the wasp decides he might as well go for it. Of course, he wins in the largest landslide in US presidential history. His presidency goes exceedingly well-he is loved by all parties, and has the highest approval ratings in history. He also finds the cures for cancer, AIDS, and broken hearts while in the White House.
After 8 years (yes, of course he was reelected) the time has come for him to leave his office. Even his successor his saddened by the wasp’s departure, but they all know it’s what must be done. Back at his vacation home in California his first day after leaving office, the wasp looks back on his long and fruitful life. He realizes that he hasn’t been back to his hive at all since that first day he left. He suddenly feels a twang of guilt as he realizes how much he misses his parents and his little brother. So he heads back to the hive, looking more worn out than he remembers. He goes inside and greets his family, who are overjoyed at the sight of him. He talks about how his life has gone as his family listens in wonderment.
Eventually he decides he is thirsty, so he decides to visit the old watering hole he remembered. Once he gets there though, there’s an extremely long line. He decides it’s worth the wait, so gets in line. One hour. Two hours. This is the slowest moving line he’s ever seen! Eventually he calculates that it could be a few days before he gets to the front of the line, so decides it’s not worth it. He decides to go get some cider to drink instead, but what do you know, another huge line of people waiting for cider! He remembers one other drinking area that never had a long line-fruit punch! So he decides to go get punch. He arrives, and lo and behold, there’s no punch line!
(http://static2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/another+didnt+read+.gif+_972be63db9e3c24191d4d3b663164905.gif)
(http://www.halforums.com/xenforo/attachments/c8a-gif.4305/)
(http://www.gifsforum.com/images/gif/did%20not%20read/grand/didnt_read_old_school_dance_gif.gif)
(http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/154/912/berneydidnotread.gif?1318992465)
Post by: pi on July 07, 2012, 04:38:51 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/578106_175211812608314_517894955_n.jpg)
Post by: duhherro on July 07, 2012, 06:43:14 pm
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/27628818/Iron%20man.gif
(http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/249/871/9c0.jpg)
(http://edge.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/656869/81201591.jpg)
(http://edge.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/1373607/81318393.jpg)
(http://edge.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/1373607/81318395.jpg)
(http://edge.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/1373607/81318425.jpg)
Post by: datfatcat on July 07, 2012, 08:52:04 pm
(http://funny-pictures-blog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Funny-Apple.jpg)
(http://everydayfunnyfunny.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/use-apple-app-in-heaven.jpg)
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_UqUwVPikChs/S_5ea5icfJI/AAAAAAAANj0/PTwjALh1_mc/s1600/funny-windows-error4.jpg)
(http://comicadze.com/thumbnails/large_I_dont_need_the_Ipod_Funny_Picture_79568.jpg)
(http://www.loldig.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/funny-sms-fart-with-ipod-in-restaurant.jpg)
(http://i48.tinypic.com/2n1cch2.jpg)
(http://cravagolina.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/funny-condoms1.jpg)
(http://myfunnyworld.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/funny-condom-slogans-17101.jpg)
Post by: nacho on July 08, 2012, 02:23:48 am
its true
Post by: datfatcat on July 08, 2012, 12:39:22 pm
Post by: pi on July 08, 2012, 12:53:34 pm
(http://www.trolism.com/images/2012/June/10/4fd567ad36763.jpg)
(http://www.trolism.com/images/2012/June/11/4fd5bd1388143.jpg)
Post by: datfatcat on July 08, 2012, 12:55:29 pm
Post by: datfatcat on July 08, 2012, 02:04:02 pm
Post by: Stick on July 08, 2012, 04:57:45 pm
Post by: Somye on July 08, 2012, 07:57:38 pm
Post by: paulsterio on July 09, 2012, 12:26:59 pm
Post by: Bhootnike on July 09, 2012, 02:58:08 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/8imlF.jpg)
(http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/391266_320586678032096_1180692790_n.jpg)
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/553168_10151903733620182_505361710_n.jpg)
Post by: charmanderp on July 09, 2012, 03:12:43 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/8imlF.jpg)Bambi.
Post by: Bhootnike on July 09, 2012, 04:15:06 pm
interesting ad... (although, apparently to the fb comments from where I stole it, the meaning suits it :P )
(http://www.trolism.com/images/2012/June/10/4fd567ad36763.jpg)
you'll be surprised at how many ads try to be sensual or stuff..
(http://www.11points.com/images/subliminalfood/bkseveninch.jpg)
Post by: nisha on July 09, 2012, 05:37:02 pm
Post by: Bhootnike on July 09, 2012, 05:49:34 pm
(http://www.artistmike.com/Temp/1Coke.jpg)
im telling ya,
its everywhere!
and no i do not have a perverted mind ;)
Post by: datfatcat on July 09, 2012, 05:57:30 pm
Post by: pi on July 09, 2012, 07:02:03 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/521951_10151931500375241_679406701_n.jpg)
Post by: datfatcat on July 09, 2012, 08:55:12 pm
(http://verybadfrog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/suggestive-ad-ladies-hairdresser.jpg)
(http://www.nairaland.com/attachments/64331_lhvhv_jpge8a0938021a0d3bc373c041434a99771)
(http://jsty.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/funny-school-answer.jpg)
(http://www.bharatmoms.com/uploads/Image/test-paper.jpg)
(http://funfactoryblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/funny-school-test-answers.jpg)
Post by: pi on July 09, 2012, 10:16:56 pm
Post by: Somye on July 09, 2012, 11:15:24 pm
Post by: Starlight on July 09, 2012, 11:25:36 pm
Post by: Soul_Khan on July 09, 2012, 11:31:13 pm
(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/has-one-night-stand-but-way-too-many-books-to-fit-on-it.jpg)
Post by: b^3 on July 10, 2012, 01:29:46 am
(http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/391809_114366702009508_1881448929_n.jpg) (http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/complex_conjugate.png)
And...
(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/a-wild-exponential-function-appeared.jpg)
Hopefully they haven't been posted before, although this thread is 59 pages long....
Post by: Mao on July 10, 2012, 11:34:15 am
Post by: paulsterio on July 10, 2012, 02:07:38 pm
Post by: charmanderp on July 10, 2012, 02:31:16 pm
(http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/486580_397649010283009_681216125_n.jpg?dl=1)Love it.
Post by: Somye on July 10, 2012, 04:48:29 pm
(http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/1081/52960810151728354432841.jpg)
Post by: WhoTookMyUsername on July 10, 2012, 05:04:39 pm
Post by: KevinooBz on July 10, 2012, 05:31:53 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on July 10, 2012, 05:58:38 pm
"Just bought 50 shades of grey, don't understand the fuss really."
(http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/417407_3648522446816_1462747624_n.jpg)
Ah, Facebook <3
Post by: pi on July 10, 2012, 06:23:47 pm
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on July 10, 2012, 06:41:49 pm
Post by: WhoTookMyUsername on July 10, 2012, 07:11:56 pm
(http://gailsmcmillan.cmswiki.wikispaces.net/file/view/Funny_picture_jokes_math_teachers.jpg/320903244/Funny_picture_jokes_math_teachers.jpg)
Post by: Soul_Khan on July 10, 2012, 07:46:58 pm
Post by: pi on July 10, 2012, 07:49:15 pm
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on July 10, 2012, 08:36:27 pm
So I admit I'm half drunk while coming across this picture, but that waterbuffalo line just made me lose my shit.
Post by: Mao on July 10, 2012, 09:33:53 pm
(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/i-dont-get-it-the-answer-is-5.jpg)
That's not long, nor hard, and neither is the answer 5.
What the fuck is wrong with you.
Post by: nacho on July 10, 2012, 09:49:41 pm
That's what she said(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/i-dont-get-it-the-answer-is-5.jpg)
That's not long, nor hard, and neither is the answer 5.
What the fuck is wrong with you.
Post by: datfatcat on July 11, 2012, 08:07:29 pm
(http://www.sadmuffin.net/cherrybam/graphics/graphics-funny/funny136.gif)
(http://www.sadmuffin.net/cherrybam/graphics/graphics-funny/funny061.gif)
(http://www.sadmuffin.net/cherrybam/graphics/graphics-funny/funny238.gif)
(http://www.sadmuffin.net/cherrybam/graphics/graphics-funny/funny268.gif)
Post by: Somye on July 11, 2012, 08:29:51 pm
(http://img708.imageshack.us/img708/2416/scrubs8dc7dc3886754.jpg)
Post by: Kaushik on July 11, 2012, 09:44:07 pm
Post by: Mao on July 11, 2012, 09:58:00 pm
(http://img708.imageshack.us/img708/2416/scrubs8dc7dc3886754.jpg)
I actually lol'd. xD Good work.
contribooting.
(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/this-top-caption-is-too-damn-high.jpg)
Alternatively, this.
Post by: Bhootnike on July 11, 2012, 10:31:26 pm
and funniest thing hahah:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=6ax_Zz-MZhk&oref
Post by: Bhootnike on July 11, 2012, 10:40:33 pm
Post by: DisaFear on July 12, 2012, 05:25:40 pm
(http://4.asset.soup.io/asset/3192/8228_9242_500.jpeg)
How often did I see that scene when I went over ^-^
(http://i.imgur.com/xRjp7.png)
(http://3.asset.soup.io/asset/3194/2947_e8ca.png)
Post by: nacho on July 12, 2012, 11:30:35 pm
Post by: ligands on July 13, 2012, 02:27:04 am
Post by: pi on July 13, 2012, 02:44:31 pm
Post by: Gloamglozer on July 13, 2012, 03:38:29 pm
(http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/315452_448072168559181_903101267_n.jpg)
Post by: datfatcat on July 13, 2012, 04:29:43 pm
Post by: pi on July 13, 2012, 04:32:09 pm
(http://www.sillyfun.com/funpages/stylin.jpg)
Tasmanians...
Post by: WhoTookMyUsername on July 13, 2012, 08:22:53 pm
: "Poverty!? I wouldn't be poor if you paid me a million dollars!"
Post by: paulsterio on July 13, 2012, 10:32:09 pm
Post by: Bhootnike on July 14, 2012, 12:15:52 am
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/409669_406337392736590_2049803292_n.jpg)
Post by: paulsterio on July 14, 2012, 12:25:54 am
Post by: datfatcat on July 14, 2012, 12:28:53 pm
(http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/17988202.jpg)
Post by: VivaTequila on July 14, 2012, 01:42:58 pm
Post by: pi on July 14, 2012, 05:47:38 pm
Post by: datfatcat on July 14, 2012, 06:57:59 pm
Post by: soccerboi on July 14, 2012, 07:05:36 pm
Post by: Eddiee on July 14, 2012, 08:14:14 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on July 14, 2012, 11:39:38 pm
Post by: pi on July 15, 2012, 02:36:45 am
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/s480x480/319364_448667265154290_54154384_n.jpg)
Post by: charmanderp on July 15, 2012, 03:23:48 pm
(http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y92/TheEndOfItAll/My%20GIFs%202/Sorrow/emopete.gif)
(http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y92/TheEndOfItAll/My%20GIFs%202/Sorrow/petecry-1.gif)
Post by: Somye on July 15, 2012, 04:32:47 pm
(http://img831.imageshack.us/img831/8396/myparentswouldhavekille.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on July 15, 2012, 05:49:28 pm
Post by: datfatcat on July 15, 2012, 07:09:41 pm
(http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/042011/potter-points.jpg)
(http://s3.favim.com/orig/46/funny-harry-potter-lord-voldemort-Favim.com-421719.jpg)
(http://s2.favim.com/orig/33/funny-harry-potter-rebecca-black-Favim.com-267870.jpg)
Post by: Gloamglozer on July 15, 2012, 08:01:02 pm
Post by: Mao on July 16, 2012, 03:43:29 am
(http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/042011/potter-points.jpg)
This thread is now about Emma Watson
This
Thread
Is
Now
About
Emma
Watson
<3
Post by: Hutchoo on July 16, 2012, 03:50:29 am
+1.
Post by: Phy124 on July 16, 2012, 03:57:04 am
(http://funny-pictures-blog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Funny-Pictures-Emma-Watson.jpg)(http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/042011/potter-points.jpg)
This thread is now about Emma Watson
This
Thread
Is
Now
About
Emma
Watson
<3
Post by: Mao on July 16, 2012, 04:16:18 am
(http://funny-pictures-blog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Funny-Pictures-Emma-Watson.jpg)(http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/042011/potter-points.jpg)
This thread is now about Emma Watson
This
Thread
Is
Now
About
Emma
Watson
<3
She even makes Dolan sexy.
(http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/276/465/a13.jpg)
Post by: datfatcat on July 16, 2012, 03:36:44 pm
(http://djwanker.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/95-cunt.jpg)
(http://djwanker.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/87-news-queen.jpg)
Post by: Bhootnike on July 16, 2012, 03:52:24 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/599233_367187246680739_483532142_n.jpg)
Post by: Nintendo6T4 on July 16, 2012, 04:17:21 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/1AcfA.png)
Post by: Gloamglozer on July 16, 2012, 07:43:07 pm
Post by: _avO on July 16, 2012, 08:01:19 pm
Post by: Phy124 on July 16, 2012, 09:03:47 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on July 16, 2012, 10:48:15 pm
The Shire.
My reaction after watching The Shire:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdqM8WvDnp0&feature=player_embedded
Followed by:
(http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/126/314/3cd8a33a.png)
Post by: Genericname2365 on July 16, 2012, 11:25:38 pm
The Shire.(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/389037_4367822636507_208839990_n.jpg)
Post by: Gloamglozer on July 16, 2012, 11:57:16 pm
The Shire.
(http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/426808_343735745700616_891946127_n.jpg)
Post by: nisha on July 17, 2012, 12:48:35 am
Post by: brenden on July 17, 2012, 01:16:28 am
Being Lara BingleDon't forget the Shire! =.=
Post by: charmanderp on July 17, 2012, 04:45:52 pm
Being Lara BingleJust Lara Bingle in general to be honest.
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on July 17, 2012, 07:16:27 pm
Post by: eeps on July 17, 2012, 11:15:19 pm
Post by: Gloamglozer on July 17, 2012, 11:49:54 pm
Post by: Bhootnike on July 18, 2012, 01:10:37 am
Post by: ninwa on July 18, 2012, 04:42:13 pm
Post by: Somye on July 18, 2012, 08:58:28 pm
Post by: charmanderp on July 18, 2012, 09:14:36 pm
(http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/2581/40584157959512930928190.jpg)Clearly the glass is completely full; half in the liquid state and half in the gaseous state.
Post by: Charmz on July 18, 2012, 10:10:09 pm
(http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/2581/40584157959512930928190.jpg)*Kleptoman.
Post by: Gloamglozer on July 18, 2012, 10:11:04 pm
Some observations though:
- Wouldn't it be wireless?
- If an abortion happens, would that be a printer jam?
Post by: Mao on July 19, 2012, 01:06:27 am
(http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/283626_10151046072162250_1118687059_n.jpg)No. If the printer jams, someone will have to clear it out. That'll be a caesarean.
Some observations though:
- Wouldn't it be wireless?
- If an abortion happens, would that be a printer jam?
An abortion would be more like an error code. Like when you send a document there, and the printer just freaks the fuck out and print out half a page of garbles, then just stop printing and feed the rest of the paper out. That. That's a fucking abortion.
The water breaking will be when the printer starts whirring and heating up the ink cartridge.
Sex will be when dad sends a document to mum's print server.
And most of the time the print server will say "print service unavailable because I've got a headache". But that's just an excuse because the print server is actually receiving foreign traffic while you're at work.
That cheating bitch.
Post by: kamil9876 on July 19, 2012, 01:07:03 am
(http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/283626_10151046072162250_1118687059_n.jpg)
Some observations though:
- Wouldn't it be wireless?
- If an abortion happens, would that be a printer jam?
- If conjoined twins are born, is that double sided printing?
- If the page is coloured but the printer only supports black and white, does that mean someone cheated?
Post by: Gloamglozer on July 19, 2012, 11:57:07 am
(http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/599788_327473127341944_1956413457_n.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on July 19, 2012, 02:04:28 pm
Post by: Sonu_3 on July 19, 2012, 08:25:47 pm
Post by: charmanderp on July 19, 2012, 09:45:24 pm
That's harsh.You clearly aren't familiar enough with this novel.
Post by: Surgeon on July 19, 2012, 09:47:51 pm
wut.
Post by: Bhootnike on July 19, 2012, 10:00:54 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/544536_415389468502177_328778877_n.jpg)
(http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/600108_440198982670046_210623522_n.jpg)
Post by: Eddiee on July 19, 2012, 10:05:04 pm
Post by: eeps on July 19, 2012, 10:15:57 pm
I opened it to a random page and read the first sentence on the page. Was something along the lines of "I'm going to fuck you on the couch right now. For my pleasure, not yours".....
wut.
You do realise this is the "Jokes thread"? Not "Share your recent internet search history thread!".
Post by: Surgeon on July 19, 2012, 10:28:10 pm
I opened it to a random page and read the first sentence on the page. Was something along the lines of "I'm going to fuck you on the couch right now. For my pleasure, not yours".....
wut.
You do realise this is the "Jokes thread"? Not "Share your recent internet search history thread!".
Well, I thought it was quite funny that when I opened the book and turned to a random page, that's the first sentence I read.
Don't see the humour in it? I don't care!
Post by: Surgeon on July 19, 2012, 10:33:25 pm
I opened it to a random page and read the first sentence on the page. Was something along the lines of "I'm going to fuck you on the couch right now. For my pleasure, not yours".....
wut.
You do realise this is the "Jokes thread"? Not "Share your recent internet search history thread!".
Well, I thought it was quite funny that when I opened the book and turned to a random page, that's the first sentence I read.
Don't see the humour in it? I don't care!
What humour?
Do I really need to explain my sense of humour to you?
Post by: Soul_Khan on July 19, 2012, 10:34:32 pm
Chill out dude he was joking :)I opened it to a random page and read the first sentence on the page. Was something along the lines of "I'm going to fuck you on the couch right now. For my pleasure, not yours".....
wut.
You do realise this is the "Jokes thread"? Not "Share your recent internet search history thread!".
Well, I thought it was quite funny that when I opened the book and turned to a random page, that's the first sentence I read.
Don't see the humour in it? I don't care!
(http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/internet-memes-dethroned-by-its-own-fan-fiction.jpg)
(http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/312/794/7bc.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on July 19, 2012, 10:49:19 pm
You do realise this is the "Jokes thread"? Not "Share your recent internet search history thread!".
This is such a good idea for a thread. On the other hand I don't think I really want to know...
Post by: brenden on July 19, 2012, 11:05:23 pm
Throw food on your family!
Make the pie higher!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Be6tunbRcs8
(On that note, is there any way to make the video play in your comment on atarnotes?)
Post by: Soul_Khan on July 20, 2012, 12:03:49 am
The shit that comes out of George Bush's mouth.
Throw food on your family!
Make the pie higher!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Be6tunbRcs8
(On that note, is there any way to make the video play in your comment on atarnotes?)
+1 George Bush's stupidity has provided countless hours of entertainment for many people.
Now we could potentially deal with Mitt Romney's stupidity if he wins the election come November:
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4wvc9zG6E1qd5giho1_1280.png)
(http://t.qkme.me/35sok2.jpg)
(http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/221/3fa/d5c/resized/mittromney1-meme-generator-the-economy-is-in-the-potato-b5c68f.jpg?1342149379.jpg)
(http://cdn.instapop.com/assets/memes/Mitt%20Romney%20@%20the%20Airport/92/thumb.jpeg?1327434630)
(http://t.qkme.me/3p8pnn.jpg)
Post by: Fyrefly on July 20, 2012, 02:21:00 am
(http://www.gagbay.com/images/2012/07/women_are_too_classy_to_watch_porn-107691.jpg)
(http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/599788_327473127341944_1956413457_n.jpg)
Ewwwwwwww... wtf did I just read?? D=
Post by: Russ on July 20, 2012, 07:17:50 am
Post by: Bhootnike on July 20, 2012, 07:29:22 am
You do realise that he was referring to the book 50 shades of grey.... ::)I opened it to a random page and read the first sentence on the page. Was something along the lines of "I'm going to fuck you on the couch right now. For my pleasure, not yours".....
wut.
You do realise this is the "Jokes thread"? Not "Share your recent internet search history thread!".
Post by: Mao on July 20, 2012, 11:30:59 am
Post by: Phy124 on July 20, 2012, 06:33:02 pm
Post by: Stick on July 20, 2012, 07:10:35 pm
Post by: Eddiee on July 20, 2012, 07:52:05 pm
I love QR memes. Can't wait for some of them to pop up on this thread. I guess I'll choose one of my favourites.
Hahaha one of the first ones I saw
A Metro one has finally been made!! But shouldn't it be Dandenong Station/Pakenham line? :-\
Post by: Stick on July 20, 2012, 08:46:27 pm
Post by: eeps on July 20, 2012, 10:02:58 pm
This is how I play Pokemon.
Post by: Stick on July 20, 2012, 10:21:10 pm
Post by: Bhootnike on July 20, 2012, 11:23:43 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/229877_338159526254553_15790119_n.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/LPKxd.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/QXq82.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/GQ35V.jpg)
(http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/246420_401709393203497_325011728_n.jpg)
Post by: Surgeon on July 20, 2012, 11:30:21 pm
Post by: Starlight on July 20, 2012, 11:45:21 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/VhpzR.gif)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/229877_338159526254553_15790119_n.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/LPKxd.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/QXq82.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/GQ35V.jpg)
(http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/246420_401709393203497_325011728_n.jpg)
lol the facebook one was hilarious
Post by: Mao on July 21, 2012, 12:28:43 am
hehe
uninspiring 9gag is uninspiring.
Post by: golden on July 21, 2012, 10:12:08 am
(http://i.imgur.com/VhpzR.gif)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/229877_338159526254553_15790119_n.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/LPKxd.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/QXq82.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/GQ35V.jpg)
(http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/246420_401709393203497_325011728_n.jpg)
What's up with the blocking of the names, for some you can still make out their names.
Post by: Surgeon on July 21, 2012, 10:39:00 am
Post by: Stick on July 21, 2012, 10:39:04 am
Post by: KevinooBz on July 21, 2012, 11:17:16 am
Post by: Russ on July 21, 2012, 11:32:10 am
You do realise this is the "Jokes thread"? Not "Share your recent internet search history thread!".
This is such a good idea for a thread. On the other hand I don't think I really want to know...
heh-hem
Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Stick on July 21, 2012, 11:33:06 am
Post by: Mao on July 21, 2012, 12:13:01 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/o6oYk.gif)
(http://i.imgur.com/WcVAk.gif)
(http://i.imgur.com/u1mP3.gif)
(http://i.imgur.com/3XVkD.jpg)
fucking disgusting (you've been warned), but I lol'd hard.
http://i.imgur.com/SLhgU.jpg
Post by: Bhootnike on July 21, 2012, 12:35:56 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=nfvtkXCojL0
Post by: Mao on July 21, 2012, 01:03:02 pm
Post by: monkeywantsabanana on July 21, 2012, 02:52:42 pm
(http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ldn2dpQxnV1qa7t32.gif)
Post by: Stick on July 21, 2012, 03:44:50 pm
Post by: Eddiee on July 21, 2012, 05:16:40 pm
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ybQ_Rkh-Ubc/Tzi_2IpxJxI/AAAAAAAAUnw/Y-hnhGzA_HQ/s640/old_Gadgets+13.jpg)
Post by: Stick on July 21, 2012, 06:26:29 pm
Post by: Reckoner on July 21, 2012, 06:29:09 pm
Post by: Stick on July 21, 2012, 06:34:59 pm
Post by: Eddiee on July 21, 2012, 07:24:53 pm
Post by: ninwa on July 21, 2012, 07:33:29 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/LglU4.png)
Post by: jello7 on July 21, 2012, 08:31:11 pm
Post by: Stick on July 21, 2012, 09:23:00 pm
Post by: kamil9876 on July 22, 2012, 12:47:08 am
I'm going to hell for this...
(http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ldn2dpQxnV1qa7t32.gif)
No shit, this happened to my dad once at the airport when he was mad drunk, I was convinced it was him on the gif and couldn't stop laughing, until i found the full youtube video and realised it wasn't him... what a shame.
Post by: Eddiee on July 22, 2012, 11:38:08 am
Post by: thushan on July 22, 2012, 11:52:38 am
(http://cdn.iwastesomuchtime.com/7172012051422iwsmt.jpeg)
Coca Cola from a sack. *Dolphus Raymond*
Post by: pi on July 22, 2012, 03:26:51 pm
(http://cdn.iwastesomuchtime.com/7172012051422iwsmt.jpeg)
Vodka in a vodka bottle? :D
Post by: Surgeon on July 22, 2012, 03:27:37 pm
(http://cdn.iwastesomuchtime.com/7172012051422iwsmt.jpeg)
Vodka in a vodka bottle? :D
If you want your license to practice medicine to be revoked :P
Post by: Phy124 on July 22, 2012, 03:43:40 pm
Post by: Stick on July 22, 2012, 05:12:31 pm
Post by: Eddiee on July 22, 2012, 05:57:09 pm
(http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/552229_443945905646372_2075342189_n.jpg)
Post by: nisha on July 23, 2012, 11:11:46 am
Post by: pi on July 23, 2012, 01:28:49 pm
Post by: golden on July 23, 2012, 02:27:20 pm
Is it just me, because I dont see it...^
If you're not being sarcastic, then it's an ad for the PM's public chatting arrangement, which happens to appear before the actual Youtube video about the annoying orange. I bolded the key words. It's pretty mean though.
Post by: marr on July 23, 2012, 02:39:05 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/532542_249853098451627_872430338_n.jpg)
Please tell me there's a link to that story!?
Post by: Lasercookie on July 23, 2012, 03:56:47 pm
http://www.ntnews.com.au/article/2011/02/12/212161_ntnews.html(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/532542_249853098451627_872430338_n.jpg)
Please tell me there's a link to that story!?
Post by: pi on July 23, 2012, 04:42:00 pm
Post by: Gloamglozer on July 23, 2012, 07:19:04 pm
Post by: pi on July 23, 2012, 07:27:38 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/553649_420560444662117_1119604967_n.jpg)
Post by: pi on July 24, 2012, 07:35:38 pm
Post by: Eddiee on July 24, 2012, 07:59:34 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/217937_389977347722059_2035198485_n.jpg)
One of the best I have seen in a while.
Post by: Gloamglozer on July 24, 2012, 10:12:48 pm
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/547864_10150966757132219_587373062_n.jpg)
Post by: KevinooBz on July 24, 2012, 10:21:19 pm
So boss:(http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/11659298.jpg)
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/547864_10150966757132219_587373062_n.jpg)
Post by: datfatcat on July 25, 2012, 04:29:30 pm
(http://cl.jroo.me/z3/S/W/q/d/a.aaa-shut-up-bieber.jpg)
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs021.snc4/33404_1269484231755_1669333668_566661_4154945_n.jpg)
(http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg18/scaled.php?server=18&filename=hardeny.gif&res=landing)
Post by: Soul_Khan on July 25, 2012, 10:07:26 pm
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4850572_460s.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on July 26, 2012, 08:47:51 pm
Post by: Eddiee on July 26, 2012, 09:36:21 pm
Post by: datfatcat on July 27, 2012, 12:40:28 am
Post by: jmosh002 on July 28, 2012, 08:36:50 pm
Post by: Eddiee on July 28, 2012, 08:52:27 pm
;D
(http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/576201_448508328512750_217018474_n.jpg)
Post by: pi on July 28, 2012, 09:38:56 pm
(N.B. this image is a little crude in the caption, so be warned, sorry)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/427051_445815638784382_2137154525_n.jpg)
Post by: Soul_Khan on July 28, 2012, 09:45:07 pm
dafuk WHY CAN'T I UNSEE THIS!!!!
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/427051_445815638784382_2137154525_n.jpg)
Mind = blown. My 2012 London Olympics experience will never be the same.
Post by: Ravit on July 28, 2012, 09:47:52 pm
LOL just got it
Post by: KevinooBz on July 28, 2012, 10:08:34 pm
dafuk WHY CAN'T I UNSEE THIS!!!!Doesn't Bart have the same colour of clothing? I will never unsee that just like (http://www.dudelol.com/img/kfc-logo-you-can-never-unsee-it.jpg)
(N.B. this image is a little crude in the caption, so be warned, sorry)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/427051_445815638784382_2137154525_n.jpg)
Post by: pi on July 28, 2012, 10:13:43 pm
Re: Jokes thread
Post by: jmosh002 on July 29, 2012, 02:01:01 pm
Post by: Gloamglozer on July 29, 2012, 06:41:53 pm
(http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s720x720/479936_388733637846430_2000570058_n.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on July 29, 2012, 07:22:45 pm
"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
"I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up."
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."
LOOOOOOOL
Punctuation is lulz.
Post by: My name aint bob on July 29, 2012, 07:41:11 pm
Post by: Charmz on July 29, 2012, 08:26:19 pm
Post by: Lasercookie on July 29, 2012, 09:42:54 pm
Post by: Soul_Khan on July 29, 2012, 09:48:18 pm
(http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/187/250/tumblr_lt3e7naFcb1qhvty6o1_400.png)
(http://www.issues.cc/uploads/5887930285.jpg)
I love Snooki.. she is my favourite intellectual.
Post by: Hutchoo on July 29, 2012, 11:20:36 pm
Post by: TrueTears on July 29, 2012, 11:41:12 pm
(http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/8185/lolxu.jpg)
Post by: datfatcat on July 30, 2012, 12:46:22 am
Post by: Hutchoo on July 30, 2012, 09:13:14 pm
Post by: pi on July 30, 2012, 09:29:55 pm
Post by: Markkiieee on July 30, 2012, 11:43:33 pm
Post by: Genericname2365 on July 31, 2012, 08:50:12 pm
Post by: KevinooBz on July 31, 2012, 08:55:03 pm
(http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/484437_452413938122661_750234958_n.jpg)I actually remember that episode
Post by: Kanon on July 31, 2012, 09:28:54 pm
Post by: golden on July 31, 2012, 09:39:11 pm
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newsvideo/weirdnewsvideo/8751272/Man-finds-drunken-Moose-in-apple-tree.html
(http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t26/g0ld3n88/Untitled2.jpg)
Post by: TrueTears on July 31, 2012, 09:41:22 pm
Post by: Soul_Khan on July 31, 2012, 10:35:23 pm
(http://iwantsomefun.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/queen-meme-kill-them-all-philip-phillip.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on July 31, 2012, 10:54:13 pm
Post by: brenden on August 01, 2012, 05:23:42 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on August 01, 2012, 06:34:15 pm
inb4 rohit
Post by: Surgeon on August 01, 2012, 09:39:52 pm
Post by: Soul_Khan on August 01, 2012, 09:48:06 pm
This is golden.
mhmm.. dat lord's prayer
Post by: Gloamglozer on August 01, 2012, 09:57:46 pm
inb4 rohit
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Olympic-Memes/445624675470145
inb4 everyone. :P
Post by: pi on August 01, 2012, 10:55:45 pm
Post by: Surgeon on August 01, 2012, 11:15:06 pm
Post by: Cosec on August 01, 2012, 11:51:49 pm
Post by: pi on August 02, 2012, 12:26:41 am
(http://i.imgur.com/nuluM.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/kx3wp.jpg)
Post by: Soul_Khan on August 02, 2012, 09:19:57 am
Post by: golden on August 02, 2012, 05:47:07 pm
This is golden.
Bahaha I thought you were referencing me for a while there.
Post by: brenden on August 02, 2012, 06:27:10 pm
(http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/307/189/6fe.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/409716_481088481903524_1451630858_n.jpg)
Post by: pi on August 02, 2012, 09:51:36 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/251843_446943162004963_2069453276_n.jpg)
Post by: pi on August 03, 2012, 09:41:41 am
(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/olympics-meme1.jpeg)
Post by: golden on August 03, 2012, 02:29:44 pm
lol'd at the surname :P
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/251843_446943162004963_2069453276_n.jpg)
In Matthew Reilly's book 'Hover Car Racer', he lists the name of a driver with the first name starting with T and the last name Takeshi, so when he put them together as you do on the roll/list of names, it was Takeshi T. I don't know if that was intentional though.
Post by: IndefatigableLover on August 03, 2012, 04:30:19 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/486425_451905571497964_1395745437_n.jpg)
Post by: Soul_Khan on August 03, 2012, 06:04:37 pm
Post by: nisha on August 03, 2012, 06:06:21 pm
(http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/internet-memes-stoner-asian.jpg)
Post by: Thu Thu Train on August 03, 2012, 06:21:38 pm
Post by: Surgeon on August 03, 2012, 06:23:21 pm
Because he always drops the bass.
Post by: brenden on August 03, 2012, 06:25:25 pm
Post by: pi on August 03, 2012, 06:26:54 pm
Post by: brenden on August 03, 2012, 06:38:40 pm
Post by: ninwa on August 03, 2012, 07:20:50 pm
Post by: brenden on August 03, 2012, 07:24:31 pm
respect is now disabled for this subforum, now please stop posting unfunny memesDon't worry guys, she disabled respect, you can now post 9gag without fear of retribution!
Post by: ninwa on August 03, 2012, 07:25:25 pm
Post by: brenden on August 03, 2012, 07:26:19 pm
Post by: Surgeon on August 03, 2012, 07:35:59 pm
Post by: ninwa on August 03, 2012, 07:46:57 pm
now please stop posting unfunny memes
Post by: Gloamglozer on August 04, 2012, 01:38:03 am
banhammer is retribution >:[
Quoted before ninwa quotes it. So... "inb4 ninwa"
Post by: Soul_Khan on August 04, 2012, 10:16:18 am
(http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/367/007/fb1.jpg)
(http://roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/funny-celebrity-pictures-os-x-snoop-lion1.jpg)
(http://4.cdn.tapcdn.com/images/thumbs/taps/2012/08/internet-responds-to-snoop-lion-001-08022012-3fee6ce8-sz500x383-animate.jpg)
Post by: Starlight on August 04, 2012, 10:30:01 am
Post by: nisha on August 04, 2012, 10:35:14 am
This thread is weird without the respect system.I agree, there won't be anymore "Posts of the week" from the Jokes Thread.
Post by: marr on August 04, 2012, 10:40:26 am
Post by: Markkiieee on August 04, 2012, 11:37:10 am
This thread is weird without the respect system.
Is it gone forever? What happened to it?
Post by: Russ on August 04, 2012, 11:42:52 am
Also in an attempt to stop the posting of horrific memes >.<
Post by: Bhootnike on August 04, 2012, 12:03:52 pm
We got rid of it because it was intended to be for helpful posts not 'posts that make me laugh'
Also in an attempt to stop the posting of horrific memes >.<
The former sounds right, but i doubt getting rid of respect system is going to change the latter XD
Post by: Gloamglozer on August 04, 2012, 12:11:11 pm
We got rid of it because it was intended to be for helpful posts not 'posts that make me laugh'
Also in an attempt to stop the posting of horrific memes >.<
The former sounds right, but i doubt getting rid of respect system is going to change the latter XD
Agreed. Now I can't up vote this.
Post by: Starlight on August 04, 2012, 01:56:15 pm
We got rid of it because it was intended to be for helpful posts not 'posts that make me laugh'
Also in an attempt to stop the posting of horrific memes >.<
The former sounds right, but i doubt getting rid of respect system is going to change the latter XD
Yep.
Post by: ninwa on August 04, 2012, 02:35:35 pm
1) the tutoring advertisements section is ranked by respect
2) I don't think it's fair that just because you are capable of finding funny pictures on the internet, your tutoring ad should go before someone who gets their respect from actually helping people
I wish I could say "respect means nothing" but unfortunately it does mean something
Post by: ninwa on August 04, 2012, 02:39:09 pm
Post by: Stick on August 04, 2012, 04:00:19 pm
Post by: Callum on August 04, 2012, 06:37:48 pm
This thread is weird without the respect system.
I'd up vote this if I could..
Post by: Soul_Khan on August 04, 2012, 06:41:45 pm
IF ANYONE WANTS TO UP VOTE, JUST PUT '+1' WHEN YOU QUOTE THE PERSON(S).
WE WILL NOT SURRENDER..
(kidding, don't ban me pls)
Post by: brenden on August 04, 2012, 09:58:22 pm
WE SHALL REBEL AGAINST THIS CRUEL SYSTEM.... +1
IF ANYONE WANTS TO UP VOTE, JUST PUT '+1' WHEN YOU QUOTE THE PERSON(S).
WE WILL NOT SURRENDER..
(kidding, don't ban me pls)
Post by: Russ on August 04, 2012, 10:14:32 pm
Post by: Gloamglozer on August 05, 2012, 11:59:08 am
I'm warning you, don't anger the ninatron
Don't worry, there always has to be an Optimus Nina to save the world.
Post by: duhherro on August 05, 2012, 03:12:17 pm
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/555869_108605012618797_1054707282_n.jpg)
(http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/427437_108519592627339_54916805_n.jpg)
Post by: Eddiee on August 05, 2012, 06:19:19 pm
Post by: golden on August 06, 2012, 06:22:11 pm
dontevenreply.com/
Quote
The website was already posted before though if I recall properly.
This is just an example of what the person does (troll emails). I have modified some swearing.
Tree Removal Barter
Posted at: 2010-01-22 02:20:47
Original ad:
i need a grille not the cole kind but the gas kind. i will barter my skill as a landscaper in turn for a good grille if u need any kind of landscape work
From Me to **************@***********.org:
Hello,
I saw your ad looking for a grill in exchange for your landscaping skills. Do you do tree removal? If so, there is a very expensive grill in it for you.
Thanks,
Mike
From josh ******* to Me:
yes
From me to josh *******:
Great! There is a pine tree that has been bothering me and I want it cut down. You won't have to remove it. It hasn't been a problem until about two years ago when it got much taller. My problem with it is that it is obscuring the view to my neighbor's upstairs bathroom window. I used to have a perfect view of the neighbor's wife changing in the bathroom every day. She had great tits and an ass that was out of this world. It really completed my morning whenever I caught a glimpse of her. Now that this damn pine tree is in the way, I can't see a thing.
If you could go onto my neighbor's property and cut the tree down while they are at work, I will let you take the grill that is outside on their patio. I'm not sure what brand it is, but it is a gigantic propane grill. It looks really nice.
If they ask about it, I will tell them that a huge storm happened while they were at work, and the wind blew the tree over and blew the grill away. Meanwhile you will be enjoying a delicious salisbury steak from your new grill, and I wil be enjoying my neighbor's hot wife as she steps into the shower.
They usually leave for work around 7:30 AM during the week, and come back home around 6:00 PM. If you could have it done before they get back on Monday, that would be great.
Thanks,
Mike
From josh ******* to Me:
wat the fu** r u smoking dude? so i cut down ur neigbors tree and u let me steal his grille. what a grate deal ass hole. how bout i just take the grille and dont cut down the tree u fu**
From me to josh *******:
You don't know where his house is, so how are you going to steal the grill? I think my information in exchange for your services is a fair trade. I'll even let you come over for a few beers afterward, and we can watch the wife in the bathroom from my bedroom window.
Mike
From josh ******* to Me:
i dont want a stolen grille i want a real grille u fu** wat da fu** is ur problem. and i dont give a shit bout naked neigbor u fu**ing perv
From me to josh *******:
I assure you that this grill is real. By cutting down the tree, you are earning the grill and it will not be stolen. Also, if seeing a naked woman isn't your thing, you could probably catch the husband changing in the bathroom as well. I won't be watching, but I'm not one to judge your lifestyle.
Mike
From josh ******* to Me:
Fu*******************************************FUFUFUFUFUFU************
Post by: DisaFear on August 06, 2012, 08:29:16 pm
What a lad
Post by: Genericname2365 on August 06, 2012, 10:10:15 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on August 06, 2012, 11:27:15 pm
This video is freaking hilarious!
Post by: KevinooBz on August 06, 2012, 11:36:59 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzSpPaCIG0g&feature=relatedLOL. Thanks for that, this video relates perfectly to what I have been bagging my friend over for the past week. Ya man.
This video is freaking hilarious!
Post by: Phy124 on August 07, 2012, 09:12:08 pm
(http://i.qkme.me/151g.jpg)
Post by: ninwa on August 08, 2012, 12:56:31 pm
Quote
There was an engineering student who rode up to his friend on a bike on campus. "You'll never guess what happened today!"
"What?"
"This beautiful women rode up to me on her bike, dropped it to the ground, stripped all of her clothes off, and then with her arms spread open yelled out 'TAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT!"
His friend looked down at the bike and said "hmmmmm, good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Quote
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week, and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now, that's cool!"
Post by: ninwa on August 08, 2012, 07:05:39 pm
Post by: thushan on August 08, 2012, 07:19:06 pm
mX pisses off Dear Leader
*Facepalm*
Post by: Lasercookie on August 09, 2012, 10:20:21 pm
(http://www.vtac.edu.au/images/general/good-doc-vce.jpg)
(http://www.vtac.edu.au/images/general/good-doc-rmit.jpg)
Post by: Hutchoo on August 10, 2012, 09:17:53 pm
owned.
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m748norRla1qhwuczo1_500.gif)
Post by: Markkiieee on August 10, 2012, 11:40:47 pm
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m806eovPWR1qdlh1io1_400.gif)
owned.
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m748norRla1qhwuczo1_500.gif)
How bad I want to give this post respect.. Ahh, this isn't the same without respect :|
Post by: Soul_Khan on August 12, 2012, 09:34:09 am
(http://blog.contriving.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/550x486xgtfo-im-doing-science-naked-girl1.jpg.pagespeed.ic.wcMzuU2Ain.jpg)
Post by: Surgeon on August 12, 2012, 10:18:04 am
dat cas
(http://blog.contriving.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/550x486xgtfo-im-doing-science-naked-girl1.jpg.pagespeed.ic.wcMzuU2Ain.jpg)
I wish I could upvote this so badly!!
Post by: ShortBlackChick on August 12, 2012, 12:05:59 pm
Post by: paulsterio on August 12, 2012, 12:12:15 pm
Post by: golden on August 12, 2012, 12:35:49 pm
Is it just me, or did the volume of posts here markedly decrease the moment there was no longer respect? :(
Yes I have noticed this too!
Post by: inc0gnito on August 12, 2012, 12:56:10 pm
Post by: pi on August 12, 2012, 02:23:39 pm
Is it just me, or did the volume of posts here markedly decrease the moment there was no longer respect? :(
It makes sense though, no point having members that seem respected just because they post here and don't get any respect for posting notes or actually helping others.
Post by: Gloamglozer on August 12, 2012, 07:10:06 pm
Is it just me, or did the volume of posts here markedly decrease the moment there was no longer respect? :(
Or maybe some of us haven't been able to find any funny pictures lately.
Post by: Charmz on August 12, 2012, 08:06:50 pm
Post by: jmosh002 on August 12, 2012, 08:19:01 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5JSJuN3UWI&feature=related
Post by: b^3 on August 12, 2012, 08:27:23 pm
The jokes thread was being unfair on those who do help out on here and have tutoring ads in the tutoring section. And for once we actually have a useful post as our 'message of the week'.
Post by: thushan on August 12, 2012, 08:37:50 pm
Post by: pi on August 12, 2012, 09:00:17 pm
And for once we actually have a useful post as our 'message of the week'.
I love that post! :D
not meaning to be racist here, but I lol'd
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/427396_450928091606470_256781280_n.jpg)
also, nice one, the guy has 3 arms haha
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/540064_347494621978634_766956837_n.jpg)
Post by: Gloamglozer on August 12, 2012, 11:57:26 pm
(http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/542495_357362297666894_1752757020_n.jpg)
Post by: golden on August 13, 2012, 06:04:52 pm
You guys do realise that it is people complaining about not having respect in here that is actually ruining this thread rather than the actual loss of respect? (and you can't blame that on respect being taken away, it's your choice whether to post or not).I will have to agree.
The jokes thread was being unfair on those who do help out on here and have tutoring ads in the tutoring section. And for once we actually have a useful post as our 'message of the week'.
I don't think most people want a respect system that goes into account to your total respect in here, they just want something to say 'oh hey that was funny' without having to type it out.
Can't a system be managed where the respect earned here doesn't count to your overall respect ? like that, the post would get the "respect" and not the actual user who posted it.
Post by: Hutchoo on August 14, 2012, 11:59:44 pm
(http://www.damnlol.com/i/8112076e9758d0c94db47f3c5fb7b28b.jpg)
Post by: golden on August 16, 2012, 01:34:24 pm
(http://funnypixels.sketweb.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/seems-legit.jpg)
Only in Japan:
(http://www.signsfunny.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/only-in-japan.jpg)
Post by: Phy124 on August 17, 2012, 08:15:13 pm
Ah mX, always delivering the best news the world has to offer.
Post by: eeps on August 18, 2012, 07:32:51 pm
Found this amusing.
Post by: Callum on August 18, 2012, 07:40:11 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-DTQPBUJJ4
Found this amusing.
HAHAHA!! That's soo much effort, but so good!
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on August 18, 2012, 10:10:06 pm
Post by: thushan on August 18, 2012, 10:20:55 pm
"I want to study medicine for the same three reason as everybody else does - chicks, money, power and chicks"
Surely he meant...
"I want to study medicine for the same three reason as everybody else does - curry chicks, money, power and curry chicks"
Post by: Callum on August 19, 2012, 03:29:05 am
Paul's sig:
"I want to study medicine for the same three reason as everybody else does - chicks, money, power and chicks"
Surely he meant...
"I want to study medicine for the same three reason as everybody else does - curry chicks,money, powerand curry chicks"
Post by: DisaFear on August 19, 2012, 11:50:24 am
EDIT: LovesPhysics, how does that guy have 3 arms? I think one of them is the girls hand?
Post by: saheh on August 19, 2012, 02:31:00 pm
Post by: pi on August 19, 2012, 06:46:47 pm
Paul's sig:
"I want to study medicine for the same three reason as everybody else does - chicks, money, power and chicks"
Surely he meant...
"I want to study medicine for the same three reason as everybody else does - curry chicks,money, powerand curry chicks"
Top edit.
Post by: Hutchoo on August 20, 2012, 12:03:05 am
Freaking monash.
LOL (saw this on the way to Melb Uni open day)
Post by: Gloamglozer on August 20, 2012, 01:26:09 am
(http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/388036_10151119528004842_1152594823_n.jpg)
Freaking monash.
LOL (saw this on the way to Melb Uni open day)
The University of Melbourne is helping stop the spread of dengue fever and irritating mosquito bites in general by killing all mosquitos.
We think that's smarter.
University of Melbourne - Where being better has never stopped.
:P
Post by: TrueTears on August 20, 2012, 01:36:04 am
It stopped when the Melbourne Model was introduced.(http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/388036_10151119528004842_1152594823_n.jpg)
Freaking monash.
LOL (saw this on the way to Melb Uni open day)
The University of Melbourne is helping stop the spread of dengue fever and irritating mosquito bites in general by killing all mosquitos.
We think that's smarter.
University of Melbourne - Where being better has never stopped.
:P
;)
Post by: aes_999 on August 20, 2012, 01:41:54 am
Post by: brenden on August 20, 2012, 04:46:30 pm
Post by: Genericname2365 on August 22, 2012, 09:27:54 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIRBxRlsYR0
Post by: ninwa on August 22, 2012, 10:00:46 pm
(original: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGkHRa64sDY)
Post by: Hutchoo on August 24, 2012, 12:43:09 am
TOO
MUCH
FREAKING
AWESOMENESS ASDHUAJDSKASD
Post by: pi on August 24, 2012, 12:55:14 am
(http://endlesspicdump.com/resized/leap%20years%20vs%20end%20of%20the%20world.jpg)
(http://endlesspicdump.com/resized/look%20i%20made%20a%20sex%20tape.jpg)
Post by: Gloamglozer on August 26, 2012, 10:16:06 pm
Post by: pi on August 26, 2012, 10:34:00 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/558476_461967703826294_1002318323_n.jpg)
Post by: Hodgeyhodgey on August 27, 2012, 10:17:38 am
How is this not viral.
Post by: ninwa on August 27, 2012, 11:18:58 am
Post by: Hutchoo on August 27, 2012, 01:40:55 pm
LOL AT THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8u4CEBVq7s&feature=player_embedded#!
(http://gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs6/2066669_o.gif)
"Toothpaste! Pizza! Lamps! Jackie Chan! Argghh!"
Post by: Hutchoo on August 27, 2012, 10:45:41 pm
Post by: Surgeon on August 28, 2012, 08:02:44 pm
Post by: Neuron on August 28, 2012, 08:19:06 pm
Enjoy..
Post by: brenden on August 29, 2012, 10:28:41 pm
Post by: nisha on August 30, 2012, 06:50:53 pm
I know its slightly racist, but man....it made me laugh.
Post by: ninwa on August 30, 2012, 11:59:19 pm
Post by: Bhootnike on August 31, 2012, 12:15:39 am
Chinese Languages - Russell peters
love him
Post by: Hutchoo on August 31, 2012, 06:53:12 pm
Post by: ninwa on September 03, 2012, 12:55:30 am
Post by: IndefatigableLover on September 03, 2012, 07:57:55 pm
How to make Ice-cream
Post by: Hutchoo on September 03, 2012, 11:55:28 pm
Post by: Russ on September 04, 2012, 07:32:39 pm
Post by: pi on September 04, 2012, 10:24:34 pm
NOTE: HIGHLY RACIST AND CONTROVERSIAL, DO NOT SEE IF YOU THINK YOU MAY BE OFFENDED (Jews, Asians, women... basically anyone but male Arabs)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mMPqbqmTg8
Post by: Lasercookie on September 08, 2012, 08:02:05 pm
From the description:
"Snowed in and isolated for months with only the sound of K-pop to keep you company? It'll play tricks on your mind eventually."
Post by: pi on September 10, 2012, 09:04:52 pm
Post by: Mao on September 11, 2012, 03:04:03 am
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/375860_520514497963361_1503145186_n.jpg)
Why yes, can't you see the hair under my armpits?
Post by: Gloamglozer on September 11, 2012, 08:17:39 pm
Don't know whether to laugh or....
I'm very confused. :P
Post by: pi on September 12, 2012, 01:29:03 am
Post by: tony3272 on September 13, 2012, 06:27:41 pm
Post by: pi on September 15, 2012, 08:52:56 pm
(full version of the last one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMuorX2mgrw&feature=fvwrel )
and then see this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3zU0WXj4Wk&feature=relmfu
Post by: datfatcat on September 16, 2012, 12:02:25 am
Post by: slothpomba on September 16, 2012, 02:34:09 pm
A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
Post by: charmanderp on September 16, 2012, 03:26:28 pm
Post by: pi on September 16, 2012, 03:33:47 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=_YQpbzQ6gzs
(full version of the last one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMuorX2mgrw&feature=fvwrel )
and then see this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3zU0WXj4Wk&feature=relmfu
Similar (I love these!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4a9CKgLprQ&feature=relmfu
And classic Americans http://www.youtube.com/user/JimmyKimmelLive?feature=watch
Post by: Special At Specialist on September 16, 2012, 04:23:20 pm
Post by: pi on September 16, 2012, 04:30:53 pm
What happened to the respect button on the jokes thread?
It's gone so that the tutor register rankings aren't determined by who can find funnier things on the internet, but rather, who helps more on AN and provides support and good points.
Post by: pi on September 16, 2012, 11:46:44 pm
Post by: MonsieurHulot on September 16, 2012, 11:54:31 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&list=UUa6vGFO9ty8v5KZJXQxdhaw&v=IFkHVlbbCiw
Post by: pi on September 16, 2012, 11:59:19 pm
Like this one too http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfGnZbulC_A also https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JhVvlQaG8c&feature=relmfu
Post by: Hutchoo on September 18, 2012, 11:40:23 pm
(http://sphotos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/230560_441890775862985_775678329_n.jpg)
Post by: pi on September 20, 2012, 08:52:27 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/487604_525675407447930_952944530_n.jpg)
(his biceps aren't the only bits "tense" LMFAO)
Post by: brenden on September 20, 2012, 09:01:02 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on September 20, 2012, 09:23:23 pm
Sorry but this "bodybuilder" appeared on my newsfeed and I just cracked up
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/487604_525675407447930_952944530_n.jpg)
(his biceps aren't the only bits "tense" LMFAO)
Wow, boner or not.. Those arms are FUCKING HUGE. LIKE HOLY FUCK THOSE ARE THE BIGGEST ARMS I'VE SEEN X_X
Post by: Soul_Khan on September 20, 2012, 09:54:43 pm
Post by: Genericname2365 on September 20, 2012, 09:57:50 pm
I would upvote this if I could. :P
(http://sphotos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/230560_441890775862985_775678329_n.jpg)
Post by: brenden on September 20, 2012, 10:09:16 pm
that guy has been masturbating too much that's for sureor not enough?
Post by: pi on September 20, 2012, 10:13:07 pm
Sorry but this "bodybuilder" appeared on my newsfeed and I just cracked up
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/487604_525675407447930_952944530_n.jpg)
(his biceps aren't the only bits "tense" LMFAO)
Wow, boner or not.. Those arms are FUCKING HUGE. LIKE HOLY FUCK THOSE ARE THE BIGGEST ARMS I'VE SEEN X_X
But he can't touch his shoulders :O
Post by: Soul_Khan on September 20, 2012, 10:15:22 pm
That's not the only thing he can't touch.Sorry but this "bodybuilder" appeared on my newsfeed and I just cracked up
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/487604_525675407447930_952944530_n.jpg)
(his biceps aren't the only bits "tense" LMFAO)
Wow, boner or not.. Those arms are FUCKING HUGE. LIKE HOLY FUCK THOSE ARE THE BIGGEST ARMS I'VE SEEN X_X
But he can't touch his shoulders :O
Post by: Soul_Khan on September 20, 2012, 11:29:22 pm
Post by: Genericname2365 on September 23, 2012, 11:20:15 pm
Post by: thushan on September 23, 2012, 11:32:10 pm
Post by: nacho on September 24, 2012, 01:40:33 am
LOL. Guy was probably on the 'roids. Those things give you a constant phallus erectus.
Post by: Soul_Khan on September 24, 2012, 11:26:57 am
Wow.. :oLOL. Guy was probably on the 'roids. Those things give you a constant phallus erectus.you'reTrueTears is the only reason my phallus is constantly erectus ;)
Post by: nacho on September 25, 2012, 12:43:30 am
Post by: golden on September 27, 2012, 03:38:16 pm
Post by: Hutchoo on September 29, 2012, 08:21:32 pm
Post by: pi on October 07, 2012, 03:44:08 am
(http://sphotos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/271050_4358966985406_66264710_n.jpg)
Hmmm rangaaaaaa :P
ALSO, ...
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/580327_277273122389248_836906320_n.jpg)
Post by: VivaTequila on October 07, 2012, 11:33:22 am
(http://sphotos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/271050_4358966985406_66264710_n.jpg)
Hmmm rangaaaaaa :P
ALSO, ...
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/580327_277273122389248_836906320_n.jpg)
How do you even begin to deal with that shit? Far out, that's just so unfortunate. That poor guy...
Post by: marr on October 08, 2012, 05:51:14 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAzzbrFgcUw&feature=g-logo-xit
Post by: brenden on October 09, 2012, 06:59:45 pm
Post by: RTandon on October 10, 2012, 09:43:15 pm
HSC, VCE, same shiz.
Post by: brenden on October 10, 2012, 10:07:45 pm
Post by: IndefatigableLover on October 10, 2012, 10:17:09 pm
Post by: AllAboutTheLGs on October 25, 2012, 04:30:45 pm
Came up on my FB news feed ahahahha
Post by: Mao on October 25, 2012, 06:22:10 pm
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/550151_4770741829322_1627698381_n.jpg)
Came up on my FB news feed ahahahha
/facepalm. Mathematically incorrect.
Post by: slothpomba on October 25, 2012, 09:43:33 pm
They’re too mainstream.
---
How did the Hipster burn his hand?
He changed the lightbulb before it was uncool.
------------------
Two hipsters walk into a bar. the first did it before it was cool, the second one did it ironically.
----------------
I listen to bands so underground, that they haven't even heard of themselves.
----------------
Q:How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:It's a really obscure number, you wouldn't understand.
Post by: IndefatigableLover on October 28, 2012, 08:17:07 pm
The girl replied with a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking.
I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”
The guy then responded with a loud voice: “$1000 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT'S TOO MUCH!”
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy whispered in her ears: "I study law, and I know how to make someone feel guilty.”
Post by: Felicity Wishes on October 28, 2012, 08:20:54 pm
Post by: thushan on October 28, 2012, 08:24:29 pm
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8tti0w4yI1rr362xo1_1280.jpg)
Nice one, Dilmah. :D
Post by: depressedchild on November 01, 2012, 03:09:03 pm
Post by: pi on November 01, 2012, 03:37:01 pm
Post by: Lasercookie on November 03, 2012, 06:27:02 pm
Post by: brenden on November 03, 2012, 11:14:39 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in6RZzdGki8&sns=fb
Post by: IndefatigableLover on November 06, 2012, 10:10:23 pm
Ash: Yeah...
Oak: Here's a Pokédex. Don't come back until you've seen and captured every Pokémon in this region.
..
...
.
;)
Post by: brenden on November 06, 2012, 10:20:25 pm
Oak: Ash, is your Mum still single?HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMFG I think the funniest thing about this was Henry using several fullstops and winking! LOL
Ash: Yeah...
Oak: Here's a Pokédex. Don't come back until you've seen and captured every Pokémon in this region.
..
...
.
;)
Post by: pi on December 03, 2012, 08:32:50 pm
Post by: pi on December 06, 2012, 11:46:21 pm
Post by: Genericname2365 on December 10, 2012, 11:11:29 am
Post by: Mao on December 11, 2012, 12:13:42 am
This is quite hilarious: http://www.aktifmag.com/top-20-of-2012-famous-thinkers-quoting-herald-sun-readers/
This. This is amazing, ahahaha.
Post by: Genericname2365 on December 11, 2012, 01:55:49 pm
Post by: IndefatigableLover on December 25, 2012, 03:25:36 pm
A few I found funny:
(http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Rob/get-over-here-dorothy.png)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/25065_10152010464110476_688033076_n.png)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/18250_10152005600585476_418463957_n.png)
Post by: MagicGecko on March 03, 2013, 09:15:27 pm
WTF
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m31hbhu28S1rnyeudo1_500.jpg)
I Aint getting in there!
(http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/505/435/3b5.jpg)
Aw shiet aw shiet I should have just gotten in the friggin car!!!
(http://marinasleeps.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/gosa-pi-eui-joong-gan-go-sa-running-from-zombies.jpg)
The End
(http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/27430223.jpg)
(http://t.qkme.me/35tot1.jpg)
Post by: nacho on March 03, 2013, 09:21:48 pm
Post by: Mao on March 03, 2013, 10:20:38 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/AaP1bfs.png)
I lol'd. there is still hope for /b/.
Post by: VivaTequila on March 09, 2013, 02:06:20 am
Post by: MagicGecko on March 10, 2013, 03:47:25 pm
What is your ninja name!!!??
(http://i762.photobucket.com/albums/xx262/SteveStrummerGB/NINJA.png)
hahaha apparently mine is: Rin-mo-shi-ka-mi-ki-mo
Post by: MagicGecko on March 10, 2013, 09:31:52 pm
(http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/funny-captions-0.jpg?w=500&h=667)
Post by: MagicGecko on March 11, 2013, 06:33:03 am
Post by: MagicGecko on March 11, 2013, 06:34:55 am
Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
Hell from an engineering approach
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid term. The answer was so profound that the Professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you." and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."
This student received the only A.
Post by: Hutchoo on March 15, 2013, 01:23:03 pm
Post by: ninwa on September 05, 2013, 01:57:47 pm
with a video of a raven's unique interpretation of edgar allen poe
Post by: charmanderp on September 05, 2013, 02:35:13 pm
Post by: McFleurry on September 05, 2013, 02:59:42 pm
Haha...that took me forever to think of.
Post by: ninwa on September 06, 2013, 02:21:55 pm
Post by: KevinooBz on September 06, 2013, 02:46:00 pm
Post by: MagicGecko on September 06, 2013, 09:13:24 pm
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=544652665582752&set=vb.446485138732839&type=2&theater#
Post by: clıppy on September 06, 2013, 09:22:00 pm
Pretty mean if you think about it, but it was still hilarious! HAHAHA ;DThat TV must be amazing.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=544652665582752&set=vb.446485138732839&type=2&theater#
If we're doing pranks now:
Post by: MagicGecko on September 06, 2013, 11:54:51 pm
If we're doing pranks now:
This!
Post by: Special At Specialist on September 07, 2013, 01:54:27 am
Post by: Fyrefly on September 07, 2013, 12:35:51 pm
That TV must be amazing.
If we're doing pranks now:
The guy who speaks in the background at about 2:00 sounds like Squidward.
Post by: MagicGecko on September 07, 2013, 02:54:20 pm
The guy who speaks in the background at about 2:00 sounds like Squidward.
HAHAHA so true!
Post by: ninwa on September 13, 2013, 10:43:28 pm
Post by: golden on September 15, 2013, 09:39:28 pm
Post by: Kuroyuki on September 15, 2013, 09:45:43 pm
Howard is the senior senior member of the nursing home and at the age of 94 still gets around pretty good. One of his favorite places to go is the garden where he can sit in seclusion and ponder his life's accomplishments.
One day another member of the home named Annebel walks in and the two begin to talk. Soon the conversation turns to sex and Howard says "that's what I miss most of all." The woman looks at the frail Howard and says "you old coot...what makes you think you can still get it up?" "I suppose you're right" says Howard "but at least it would be nice if someone would just hold it." The old woman saw no harm in this and agreed to "hold it" and this activity went on everyday for a couple of weeks.
One day Annebel went into the garden to be with Howard and he was nowhere to be found. She was told he was last seen in room 905 so off she went. Annebel arrives at room 905 and is shocked to find Howard with another nursing home member named Mabel. They are sitting together and Mabel is "holding it", Annebel instantly becomes irrate and shouts "Howard, how could you do this to me, what does she have that I don't have?"...Howard just smiles and says "parkinsons".
I was also tempted to replace the names with more familiar ones...
Post by: sasa on September 30, 2013, 06:37:09 pm
What makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A -R -D-W-O -R -K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K -N -O -W-L -E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5
= 96%
But,
A-T -T -I -T -U -D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
and,
B -U -L -L -S -H-I -T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S -S -K -I -S-S -I -N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7
= 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, its the bullshit and ass kissing that will put you over the top.
You just made my day!!!!
Post by: Robert243 on October 14, 2013, 04:53:09 pm
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
Post by: golden on November 30, 2013, 04:20:18 pm
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. The wife says, "Is it a boy or a girl?"
The logician says, "Yes."
Post by: brenden on November 30, 2013, 04:21:59 pm
Keep this thread going!Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha this is actually fantastic.
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. The wife says, "Is it a boy or a girl?"
The logician says, "Yes."
Fun fact: Lewis Carroll was a logician.
Post by: chasej on November 30, 2013, 11:55:55 pm
http://www.mambaonline.com/2013/09/11/student-scientifically-proves-gay-marriage-is-wrong/
That guy used no more science than what I learnt in 8th grade. Plus I don't see the link between magnets and people. Same with fowls and people.
Post by: tonychet2 on December 01, 2013, 05:06:10 am
The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane.
The second passenger, Julia Gillard, said, "I am the prime Minister of Australia and I am the smartest woman in Australian history, so Australia's people don't want me to die." She took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.
The third passenger, John Kerry, said, "I'm a Senator, and a decorated war hero from the Army of the United States of America ." So he grabbed the parachute next to him and jumped.
The fourth passenger, ex-President George W. Bush, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."
The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr. President. There's a parachute left for you. Australia 's smartest woman took my schoolbag.
Post by: Robert243 on December 01, 2013, 11:00:07 am
Post by: ninwa on December 06, 2013, 09:58:35 am
Post by: MagicGecko on February 27, 2014, 01:42:36 pm
(https://24.media.tumblr.com/dfd77c34cb6974624e6b8c47835a1002/tumblr_n1l4s5trbq1qzag1wo1_500.gif)
Post by: pi on January 06, 2015, 12:38:20 am
Post by: brenden on January 06, 2015, 09:06:09 am
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=107926751Legitimately the most consistently I've laughed since the first time I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall. What the fuck just happened. Crying lol
Post by: sweetiepi on November 10, 2016, 04:38:31 pm
literally lauren will seriously hunt you down (and probably ban you) if you put any knock-knock jokes in... seriously. :P
Edit: Please no put-downs of any other user, I will not hesitate to delete. :-)
Post by: FallingStar on November 10, 2016, 05:03:43 pm
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/9/6/10/enhanced-buzz-26747-1378479000-24.jpg?no-auto)
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/9/6/20/enhanced-buzz-31057-1378513107-7.jpg?no-auto)
Post by: RuiAce on November 10, 2016, 05:05:15 pm
Maybe some Physics jokes. Although I should post a few of the best ones in my opinion:these jokes hertz.
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/9/6/10/enhanced-buzz-26747-1378479000-24.jpg?no-auto)
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/9/6/20/enhanced-buzz-31057-1378513107-7.jpg?no-auto)
Post by: keltingmeith on November 10, 2016, 05:27:58 pm
literally lauren will seriously hunt you down (and probably ban you) if you put any knock-knock jokes in... seriously. :P
"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"Kung"
"Kung hu?"
/breaks brick in half
Come at me, Lauren. 8)
Post by: IndefatigableLover on November 10, 2016, 05:34:04 pm
On a more serious note (and not to be kill-joy) but before the thread gets any bigger, would suggest this thread to be moved to Forum Games board to avoid 'Message of the Week' being filled with just memes (dank memes are good but may lead to abuse for those juicy +1's) but yeah may outshine actual helpful posts on the forum in future :P
Post by: Swagadaktal on November 10, 2016, 05:40:34 pm
If you want a trip down memory lane of all OG jokes then here's your thread: Jokes thread ;)I reckon the +1s are a good motivator for people to produce better content tbh
On a more serious note (and not to be kill-joy) but before the thread gets any bigger, would suggest this thread to be moved to Forum Games board to avoid 'Message of the Week' being filled with just memes (dank memes are good but may lead to abuse for those juicy +1's) but yeah may outshine actual helpful posts on the forum in future :P
Post by: Aaron on November 10, 2016, 05:43:00 pm
I reckon the +1s are a good motivator for people to produce better content tbh
I agree. Keep it here for now.
A FYI for posts underneath mine: Please ensure they keep on the topic of 'jokes'. I replied directly to Swag because it needed to be said. Any posts that do not fit the thread will be removed. Your conversations can be done in another thread or by PM.
Post by: sweetiepi on November 10, 2016, 07:52:49 pm
Post by: Syndicate on November 10, 2016, 08:01:54 pm
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wLtr2gNzgo0/Vbh95SZD66I/AAAAAAAABYw/UFoCr6shUgM/s1600/modern-day-child-labour_e.jpg)
WARNING: The ones in the spoiler may be a little offensive.
Spoiler
(http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/funny-comebacks-sick-burns-29-2.jpg)
(http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/funny-comebacks-sick-burns-10__605.jpg)
(http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/funny-comebacks-sick-burns-10__605.jpg)
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=107926751
^Originally posted by pi. I found it quite funny.
Post by: EEEEEEP on November 10, 2016, 08:27:35 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/xvxiSuo.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/MQrADEq.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/evpfB3j.png)
Moderator action: Merged double post
Post by: HighTide on November 10, 2016, 09:12:44 pm
I'll keep it related to my current feeling towards my exams.
(http://i.imgur.com/ECVPP2u.png)
Post by: Elizawei on November 10, 2016, 09:16:57 pm
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/6c/53/13/6c531329562b669885d9db386bae9c0d.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/HLuHELy.jpg?2)
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/ba/a8/b6/baa8b6527d44009d697d8bc3cccae107.jpg)
aaaaaand i realise how much of a bio/chem nerd i am ;)
Post by: brenden on November 11, 2016, 09:06:02 am
Post by: Swagadaktal on November 11, 2016, 10:25:38 am
Last one to post in the old joke thread. First one to necro it unnecessarily #schooledPlease do not double post. If you need to make another comment, edit your previous post.
Post by: brenden on November 11, 2016, 11:09:54 am
Please do not double post. If you need to make another comment, edit your previous post.I am putting you on a 48 hour post ban - please don't be silly on the forums.
Post by: sweetiepi on November 11, 2016, 12:07:15 pm
Please do not double post. If you need to make another comment, edit your previous post.I wouldn't do that to Brenden lol.
Edit: Moderator action: Merged the old with the new. ;)
Post by: Swagadaktal on November 11, 2016, 12:31:41 pm
I am putting you on a 48 hour post ban - please don't be silly on the forums.Please keep all the posts on this thread relevant to its topic. If you have any personal quarrels or further questions, feel free to either send a PM or create a new thread.
I am only responding to brenden publicly to ensure that the message is passed on.
Post by: brenden on November 11, 2016, 12:42:54 pm
Please keep all the posts on this thread relevant to its topic. If you have any personal quarrels or further questions, feel free to either send a PM or create a new thread.I know this is a place for jokes, so I feel bad saying something that I am not joking about:
I am only responding to brenden publicly to ensure that the message is passed on.
I am coming for you Swagadaktal. I am coming for you.
Post by: Calebark on November 11, 2016, 01:15:49 pm
I know this is a place for jokes, so I feel bad saying something that I am not joking about:
I am coming for you Swagadaktal. I am coming for you.
inb4 Swagadaktal says that threat is a joke
Post by: heids on November 11, 2016, 03:37:56 pm
Please keep all the posts on this thread relevant to its topic. If you have any personal quarrels or further questions, feel free to either send a PM or create a new thread.
I am only responding to brenden publicly to ensure that the message is passed on.
I'm now really disappointed that we got rid of the "Best Backseat Moderator" award. :(
Post by: HasibA on November 11, 2016, 04:55:36 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/B7TjRf4.png)
edit: we did it boys xD
Post by: Sine on November 11, 2016, 08:19:36 pm
Post by: sweetiepi on November 11, 2016, 08:28:17 pm
^ me, everytime I walk up the stairs at my place.
Post by: heart on November 17, 2016, 06:08:11 pm
Post by: sweetiepi on November 23, 2016, 02:30:36 pm
Don't open unless you want to read a crappy joke
Q: What do you call a gangster hobbit?
Spoiler
A: YOLO SWAGGINS
(http://i.imgur.com/EifjggR.jpg)
Post by: MagicGecko on November 30, 2016, 12:14:55 am
Found this gem, this morning:
(http://i1217.photobucket.com/albums/dd393/ryuzaki111/0-02-07-0f5b9f06b62284b3ed233660f27473e0cb8cd474556d2fed5d7e8c966ca7c87d_full.jpg)
Post by: FallingStar on December 03, 2016, 10:43:19 pm
(http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/clever-puns-102-583edd5d4052f__700.jpg)
Answer
Lost Control
(http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/clever-puns-106-583eab8bec6c7__700.jpg)
Answer
Screen Shot
(http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/clever-puns-25-583e7e6e8a9f6__700.jpg)
Answer
IP in the Shower (I pee in the Shower)
And much more when you click on the link
Post by: sweetiepi on January 26, 2017, 01:20:56 am
Post by: heids on January 26, 2017, 01:03:51 pm
What do a plum and an elephant have in common?
Spoiler
They're both purple
... except the elephant.
... except the elephant.
Post by: Aaron12038488 on January 26, 2017, 01:30:10 pm
ARGON
Post by: sweetiepi on January 26, 2017, 01:35:13 pm
Spoiler
Romeostasis
Post by: peterpiper on January 26, 2017, 01:45:18 pm
How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature?SpoilerRomeostasis
Me reading this thread:
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2015-09/29/3/enhanced/webdr05/enhanced-26093-1443510544-1.jpg)
Post by: MagicGecko on February 16, 2017, 12:21:32 pm
Post by: GalacticProcess on June 15, 2017, 07:19:34 pm
Helium walks into a bar.
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
Post by: Calebark on June 15, 2017, 07:46:13 pm
'I hate my mother-in-law', said one, throwing his arms into the air
'Have the cabbage instead', said another
Post by: MisterNeo on June 15, 2017, 08:20:09 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/5YOcbDC.jpg)
Post by: Calebark on July 20, 2017, 06:09:20 pm
Attire!
(never too late to try and revive the jokes thread!)
Post by: GalacticProcess on July 20, 2017, 06:35:43 pm
When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
Post by: sweetiepi on July 20, 2017, 06:38:13 pm
Spoiler
But all of them Argon
(Okay, I'll leave now)
Post by: Shadowxo on July 20, 2017, 06:44:41 pm
"NaBrO"
Did you hear about the scientist whose body temperature went to absolute zero? He's 0K now
(Chemistry jokes are the best)
Post by: GalacticProcess on July 20, 2017, 06:54:28 pm
2. What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
I remember the second one from the person that sits next to me in bio class.
Post by: Calebark on July 20, 2017, 06:57:09 pm
Because love means nothing to them
Post by: EEEEEEP on July 20, 2017, 06:57:18 pm
A: They were rolling around in a KFC bucket
Post by: Yertle the Turtle on December 02, 2017, 06:55:06 pm
Why did the scientist die during a chemistry convention?
Because when he and a friend walked into the bar, and the friend asked for H2O, he asked for some H2O to.
Post by: RuiAce on December 14, 2017, 11:22:59 am
Post by: sweetiepi on December 14, 2017, 11:29:17 am
Post by: RuiAce on December 18, 2017, 01:38:53 pm
Post by: snowisawesome on December 20, 2017, 04:50:37 pm
A: because 7 8 9? :-X
Post by: Sine on December 20, 2017, 04:53:16 pm
A: Because you are supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.
Post by: sweetiepi on December 20, 2017, 04:56:11 pm
The base is under a salt! :P
Post by: snowisawesome on December 24, 2017, 10:18:36 am
To the moo-vies!
:P :-X 8)
Post by: Mada438 on December 24, 2017, 02:50:09 pm
And helping your uncle,jack off a horse
Look at the comma placement guys 8)
Post by: Yertle the Turtle on December 24, 2017, 04:29:33 pm
Post by: sweetiepi on December 24, 2017, 04:33:13 pm
Spoiler
A: Spruce Springsteen
Post by: RuiAce on January 11, 2018, 09:31:28 am
Post by: Mada438 on January 11, 2018, 10:27:42 am
Whats the best thing about living in switzerland?
I don't know but the flag is a big PLUS
Post by: Phoenix11 on January 11, 2018, 10:56:04 am
Because it wanted to get to the other slide.
Post by: Yertle the Turtle on January 14, 2018, 12:10:33 am
After being married for 30 years a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a little while then said "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
She asked "What does that mean?"
He replied "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, and Humble."
The wife smiled happily and said, "Oh., that's so lovely, but what about the I, J, and K?"
"I'm just kidding", he said.
Post by: RuiAce on January 14, 2018, 12:33:25 am
Just heard this awesome one from my grandpa:Um.. woah O.o
After being married for 30 years a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a little while then said "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
She asked "What does that mean?"
He replied "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, and Humble."
The wife smiled happily and said, "Oh., that's so lovely, but what about the I, J, and K?"
"I'm just kidding", he said.
_______________________________
Q: Why does the military stockpile hydrochloric acid?
A: To neutralize their enemy's strongest bases.
Post by: RuiAce on January 26, 2018, 04:02:41 pm
Au
Post by: Yertle the Turtle on February 13, 2018, 10:13:34 am
An Irish gardener was raking leaves, when he tripped and fell out of the tree.
The Irish dilemna:
Potatoes, do you eat 'em, or ferment 'em?
:P
Post by: jborn007 on July 03, 2018, 06:27:16 pm
A: Stubble-0-7
Post by: S200 on July 06, 2018, 11:10:36 am
He goes to play soccer, but comes home with the Olympic diving medal.
Post by: RuiAce on July 12, 2018, 09:42:01 pm
Post by: sweetiepi on August 03, 2018, 11:12:24 am
Post by: S200 on August 03, 2018, 04:29:56 pm
Post by: Bells_123 on August 05, 2018, 01:07:17 am
Post by: Lear on August 05, 2018, 06:50:14 am
.
Cos 0 = 1
Post by: sweetiepi on October 08, 2018, 10:15:56 am
"On the weekend I discovered that I couldn't spell Armageddon. Turns out it isn't the end of the world."
Post by: S200 on October 08, 2018, 08:15:31 pm
(http://files.explosm.net/comics/Dave/pyongyang.png?t=84497C)
Post by: RuiAce on December 27, 2018, 11:54:47 pm
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: Because they're cheaper than day rates.
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
Post by: aspiringantelope on December 28, 2018, 09:33:14 am
I try to tell chemistry jokes periodically but all the good ones argon, so...I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: Because they're cheaper than day rates.
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
Post by: RuiAce on December 28, 2018, 11:05:35 am
I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.I was contemplating not to . . .
____________________________________________
Post by: Joseph41 on February 09, 2019, 02:48:17 pm
My joke: part one
Hi everybody. This is a very funny joke. I will incrementally tell the very funny joke in this thread.
This is the story of two men: Nathan and Jimmy. Neither is – or was – particularly special. As far as normality can extend to humankind, both Nathan and Jimmy could be considered “normal”. Yet, they shared a journey that will be told for generations, and this is that story.
To fully appreciate the events that will be told, one really needs to appreciate the background stories of each of the protagonists.
Here is Nathan's story.
Nathan is thirty-two. A professional in the field of accounting, he studied Commerce and Business at university before embarking on his professional career. With 500+ LinkedIn connections and a gift for small-talk, Nathan is charismatic and the epitome of a good workmate.
Nathan’s professional career pleased his parents, Beth and Jeremy, who had to work hard to make a living after arriving from Ireland several decades earlier. Whilst each had a relatively happy childhood, the pair fell on hard times after Jeremy was diagnosed with several illnesses, requiring more money to treat than they had available. The move to Australia was planned with a promise of greener pastures; Beth, who had struggled to find steady work in Ireland, was promised a well-paying full-time position in the sunny community of Townsville. Her pen pal, Lizzy, with whom she had connected some years earlier through popular website http://www.penpalsforyou.com, knew of an opening in the catering field.
Beth had little catering experience. In fact, she didn’t have much professional experience at all. Growing up with six brothers, each of whom seemed less mature in temperament than the last, Beth’s parents tasked her with the unenviable role of caring for her siblings. Whilst Beth’s parents, Simone and Jackson-Mike, were on paper the parents of the family, it was always Beth who steadied the ship. And so, naturally, she had little time to extend her professional career.
Selfless as she was, this meant Beth was in a difficult position when it came time to find a job, making the move to Australia more than tempting. She and Jeremy made the move in the late 1960s. After a (perhaps unavoidable) rocky beginning, Beth developed into a masterful caterer. In fact, after a time honing her skills in the position pen pal Lizzy had first suggested, Beth wanted to spread her wings, and started her own catering business: Caters Gonna Cater.
It was a horrible name – it didn’t even make sense, and certainly wasn’t catchy – and the business suffered as a result. After a mere matter of months that saw Beth invest thousands of dollars into initial start-up fees, Beth and her business were struggling. The decline continued before Beth eventually had to cut her losses; she sold Caters Gonna Cater for $21.60 and a small skinny flat white to an opportunist Mexican man wearing a funny hat. His name was – ostensibly still is – Rick. He was, in all honesty, a bit of a rickhead.
Now, this was not a good time for Jeremy (remember: the father of Nathan), who had worked mostly as a postman to this point (with a brief foray into landscape gardening). He started declining in a physical health sense. A routine check-up at the local general practitioner (Dr. Fiddledums – truly a wonderful man) came with poor news and, for the next several years, Beth and Jeremy were left scrounging their pennies to pay for Jeremy’s medical treatment – not listed on the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme, which may or may not have existed at the time depending on how stringently you’re following the timeline of this story.
Jeremy’s spirits remained high, but he had days where he couldn’t help but wonder what he had done to deserve such cruel treatment. With each day he became less mobile – a tragic ailment for a man who had built a career on physical dexterity. Around the local community, he was well known as the “Party Postie”; when delivering mail, he would do cartwheels and other tricks to brighten the mood of any local members peering out their windows at the time.
We interviewed local townsperson Sue Bartleton about Jeremy’s impact on the community. “He was wonderful,” she said. “On Mondays – mail usually came on Mondays at the time – I would delay making my cup of tea until I was sure that the mail had come. I didn’t want to miss out on any of the Party Postie’s tricks.” He was, truly, a respected member of the community.
So Beth was trying to deal with an unsuccessful business venture, and Jeremy’s Party Postie days were well and truly behind him. Nathan knew he had to make a decent career to ensure his parents could be appropriately cared for. And this, coupled with a strong liking for his Year 10 Commerce teacher, Ms. Dollarydoos, was why he decided to study a double degree in Commerce and Business.
Until next time.
This is the story of two men: Nathan and Jimmy. Neither is – or was – particularly special. As far as normality can extend to humankind, both Nathan and Jimmy could be considered “normal”. Yet, they shared a journey that will be told for generations, and this is that story.
To fully appreciate the events that will be told, one really needs to appreciate the background stories of each of the protagonists.
Here is Nathan's story.
Nathan is thirty-two. A professional in the field of accounting, he studied Commerce and Business at university before embarking on his professional career. With 500+ LinkedIn connections and a gift for small-talk, Nathan is charismatic and the epitome of a good workmate.
Nathan’s professional career pleased his parents, Beth and Jeremy, who had to work hard to make a living after arriving from Ireland several decades earlier. Whilst each had a relatively happy childhood, the pair fell on hard times after Jeremy was diagnosed with several illnesses, requiring more money to treat than they had available. The move to Australia was planned with a promise of greener pastures; Beth, who had struggled to find steady work in Ireland, was promised a well-paying full-time position in the sunny community of Townsville. Her pen pal, Lizzy, with whom she had connected some years earlier through popular website http://www.penpalsforyou.com, knew of an opening in the catering field.
Beth had little catering experience. In fact, she didn’t have much professional experience at all. Growing up with six brothers, each of whom seemed less mature in temperament than the last, Beth’s parents tasked her with the unenviable role of caring for her siblings. Whilst Beth’s parents, Simone and Jackson-Mike, were on paper the parents of the family, it was always Beth who steadied the ship. And so, naturally, she had little time to extend her professional career.
Selfless as she was, this meant Beth was in a difficult position when it came time to find a job, making the move to Australia more than tempting. She and Jeremy made the move in the late 1960s. After a (perhaps unavoidable) rocky beginning, Beth developed into a masterful caterer. In fact, after a time honing her skills in the position pen pal Lizzy had first suggested, Beth wanted to spread her wings, and started her own catering business: Caters Gonna Cater.
It was a horrible name – it didn’t even make sense, and certainly wasn’t catchy – and the business suffered as a result. After a mere matter of months that saw Beth invest thousands of dollars into initial start-up fees, Beth and her business were struggling. The decline continued before Beth eventually had to cut her losses; she sold Caters Gonna Cater for $21.60 and a small skinny flat white to an opportunist Mexican man wearing a funny hat. His name was – ostensibly still is – Rick. He was, in all honesty, a bit of a rickhead.
Now, this was not a good time for Jeremy (remember: the father of Nathan), who had worked mostly as a postman to this point (with a brief foray into landscape gardening). He started declining in a physical health sense. A routine check-up at the local general practitioner (Dr. Fiddledums – truly a wonderful man) came with poor news and, for the next several years, Beth and Jeremy were left scrounging their pennies to pay for Jeremy’s medical treatment – not listed on the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme, which may or may not have existed at the time depending on how stringently you’re following the timeline of this story.
Jeremy’s spirits remained high, but he had days where he couldn’t help but wonder what he had done to deserve such cruel treatment. With each day he became less mobile – a tragic ailment for a man who had built a career on physical dexterity. Around the local community, he was well known as the “Party Postie”; when delivering mail, he would do cartwheels and other tricks to brighten the mood of any local members peering out their windows at the time.
We interviewed local townsperson Sue Bartleton about Jeremy’s impact on the community. “He was wonderful,” she said. “On Mondays – mail usually came on Mondays at the time – I would delay making my cup of tea until I was sure that the mail had come. I didn’t want to miss out on any of the Party Postie’s tricks.” He was, truly, a respected member of the community.
So Beth was trying to deal with an unsuccessful business venture, and Jeremy’s Party Postie days were well and truly behind him. Nathan knew he had to make a decent career to ensure his parents could be appropriately cared for. And this, coupled with a strong liking for his Year 10 Commerce teacher, Ms. Dollarydoos, was why he decided to study a double degree in Commerce and Business.
Until next time.
My joke: part two
Nathan didn’t always want to study Commerce and Business. In fact, before then he wanted to study a single degree in Business Administration. And before then he wanted to study Science. Back in the day, he was set on becoming a marine biologist. It certainly wasn’t the case that Nathan felt he was built to study Commerce and Business – it’s just where he ended up.
He did well at school, but never really hit his full potential. Behind his back, his teachers referred to him as “Nearly There Nathan” – a reference to the idea that, with application, Nathan could perform a lot better than his grades suggested. Yet, his natural ability, coupled with some proficient cramming toward exams, saw him gain entry into the Commerce and Business degree combination.
Nathan didn’t hate his university experience, but he also didn’t love it. For the most part, he went for the sake of going, doing just enough to pass his units and, ultimately, graduate with his degrees. On his graduation day, he sat next to his friend, Inglis, who he had met on his very first day on campus. Some nice full-circle type symbolism.
After graduating, Nathan was fortunate to land a graduate position at a local accountancy firm. He liked the people with whom he worked, he thought the hours were manageable, and he found the work itself at least somewhat interesting. After two years, he moved on for a promotion and more varied tasks. For a number of years, Nathan floated from job to job, never spending more than three years at one post.
After a time, and thinking he could do with a bit more cash on the side, Nathan started looking for side projects. And there was one he just couldn’t keep looking over; he found a job opportunity to become a knight in shining armour. The pay was good. But there was just one catch: he needed somebody to do it with him. And that’s where Jimmy comes in.
He did well at school, but never really hit his full potential. Behind his back, his teachers referred to him as “Nearly There Nathan” – a reference to the idea that, with application, Nathan could perform a lot better than his grades suggested. Yet, his natural ability, coupled with some proficient cramming toward exams, saw him gain entry into the Commerce and Business degree combination.
Nathan didn’t hate his university experience, but he also didn’t love it. For the most part, he went for the sake of going, doing just enough to pass his units and, ultimately, graduate with his degrees. On his graduation day, he sat next to his friend, Inglis, who he had met on his very first day on campus. Some nice full-circle type symbolism.
After graduating, Nathan was fortunate to land a graduate position at a local accountancy firm. He liked the people with whom he worked, he thought the hours were manageable, and he found the work itself at least somewhat interesting. After two years, he moved on for a promotion and more varied tasks. For a number of years, Nathan floated from job to job, never spending more than three years at one post.
After a time, and thinking he could do with a bit more cash on the side, Nathan started looking for side projects. And there was one he just couldn’t keep looking over; he found a job opportunity to become a knight in shining armour. The pay was good. But there was just one catch: he needed somebody to do it with him. And that’s where Jimmy comes in.
Parts 3-5 to come.
Post by: Calebark on February 09, 2019, 02:55:25 pm
Post by: Jigsaw on February 09, 2019, 02:57:39 pm
what
im confused
Post by: sudodds on February 09, 2019, 02:59:32 pm
Post by: Joseph41 on February 09, 2019, 03:22:38 pm
Post by: Calebark on February 09, 2019, 03:28:25 pm
what
the
Post by: Poet on February 09, 2019, 03:36:38 pm
Part two added to my post above!I am enthralled
Post by: Erutepa on February 09, 2019, 04:13:47 pm
theDuck?
Post by: J_Rho on May 05, 2019, 07:42:36 pm
I'll start off:
I wanted to surprise my boyfriends with a limo date so I went off to the limo shop and there was a huge line but I thought "He is important, I'll wait" and hour later I hired a limo. Then I thought flowers would be cute so I went off to the florists and there was an even bigger line but I thought "He is important, I'll wait" and two hours later I bought some flowers. Later that night my boyfriend wanted a drink so I got up to get some punch but
Spoiler
THERE WAS NO PUNCH LINE!
Post by: lm21074 on May 05, 2019, 08:25:24 pm
We have a HSC Modern History puns/memes/jokes thread.
There are just so many memes and puns floating around the forum.
So I thought, why not make a thread for memes and puns when you have absolutely no context for sharing them? I encourage you to go wild!
Post by: jelena_nina2001 on May 05, 2019, 08:42:26 pm
what does the carrot say to the lettuce when he gets mad- AT LEAST YOUR NOT A CABBAGE (CA-BITCH)
i suck at these fml.
while i am here, can i please ask you to complete the below link )S&C PIP QUESTIONNAIRE) - reply when done so i know please.
https://forms.gle/vGf4AYXxDsP6Hmg4A
Post by: S200 on May 09, 2019, 10:53:23 pm
A new thread to share the best and lamest jokes!Oh dear.... *smacks head emoji*
I'll start off:
I wanted to surprise my boyfriends with a limo date so I went off to the limo shop and there was a huge line but I thought "He is important, I'll wait" and hour later I hired a limo. Then I thought flowers would be cute so I went off to the florists and there was an even bigger line but I thought "He is important, I'll wait" and two hours later I bought some flowers. Later that night my boyfriend wanted a drink so I got up to get some punch butSpoilerTHERE WAS NO PUNCH LINE!
Post by: Rom_Dog on May 11, 2019, 10:31:46 am
Post by: Joseph41 on May 13, 2019, 03:01:23 pm
So a horse walks into a bar and is greeted with a polite "hey" from the bartender, the horse then looks him in the eyes and says "sure why not?"
Awful.
Awfully good, that is.
Post by: happycat on May 02, 2020, 03:57:42 pm