reposting [sorry mods, I'm new at this]Hi Lauren,
okay so I finished Year 12 with a 50 in English; perfect marks in all my SACs and the 2013 exam, so am looking to help others through the year:)
Please post any questions or PM for advice
Thanks :)
Hi Lauren,
Congratulations on your incredible score!! I'll be in year 11 this year, what would you recommend me to focus on this year? Thanks!! :)
Hello Lauren9460
Congratulations on your 50, amazing achievement. Any advice on introductions for text response? I find mine are often too simple and not worth writing down.
Thanks:)
I know it sounds teacher-y, but developing good study habits are key in Year 11. If you want to do really well, try to read something every night. (not just your texts) It will expand your vocabulary immensely and this is what tends to distinguish marks in the upper bandwidths. Apart from that, developing solid Language Analysis skills now will give you an advantage next year for Text Responses, as they require a lot of time to get right, and there are always some bizarre left-of-field prompts that can catch you unawares :) With Language Analysis though, learn how to deal with a variety of text types, and know how to pick apart techniques at a word level, then you'll be cruising through the Year 12 course.
Best of luck :)
Lauren
Hi Lauren,
I was wondering what your approach was towards SAC's and the Exam? How often did you read the texts? How often did you write practice essays?
Thank-you,
Did you do english every night to get your 50? or was it just an essay a week or so, more before sacs, and read the book 2 or 3 times?
what are your thoughts on study guides?
cheers
Hi Lauren,
I just had a question about vocab - although I may have asked this one before :P
I've started to gather atleast one article per week and read that and pick up phrases from it-
What is the best way to incorporate these phrases into my essays?
I also find that any new vocab I learn - I don't remember it-- so I end up using my thesaurus...
Thanks :)
Awesome work ITT, Lauren.Aww shucks ;D *blushes*
Awesome work ITT, Lauren.I concur. Keep it up!
As promised, attached (hopefully) are some of the helpful words I accumulated last year. Some of these are quite basic, but there will be others you are unfamiliar with. I haven't put definitions for anything as it's better for you to look up the ones you need so that you can understand and define them in your own words.
Add to this as you go, but be aware that the sophisticated language should be used in moderation. Use these words when they're necessary, not to show off or to try to elevate your mark.
As someone who had to be warned off overdoing the vocab. here's some advice that was given to me: 'Some teachers will be impressed, but others will resent having to google every third word just to read your work.' So by all means expand your vocab, but don't risk annoying your assessors :)
Let the look-say-cover-write-check begin!
Don't forget to upvote her, people.
Hello Lauren, I'm just wondering what are the key aspects to make your English text response an A+
HOW DID YOU GET A 50 IN ENGLISH HAHA??!?!?! how did you study/any tips to improve?
HOW do you write good creative writing. More specifically how do you SHOW and not TELL?
Teachers love saying that but how would you suggest putting this into practice?
I know you tutor people so hopefully you can be objective; do you find it necessary to have a tutor in Year 12 English to succeed?
My current Eng. teacher seems quite decent but are tutors necessary to provide a different perspective to the course? Or are they not essential to do well?
EDIT:
Perhaps I should cut to the chase, did you personally employ a tutor to get your score or could you self-study/rely on your teacher solely in English?
HOW do you write good creative writing. More specifically how do you SHOW and not TELL?
Teachers love saying that but how would you suggest putting this into practice?
On February 15, 1933, Giuseppe Zangara fired a gun whilst standing on a rickety chair, killing the Mayor of Chicago. Mayor Anton Cermak was not his target, however; Zangara was aiming for the man shaking Cermak’s hand, Franklin Roosevelt. If the chair hadn’t wobbled, if Zangara was taller, if he had picked any other piece of furniture to stand on, then America would have lost its 32nd President and instead sworn in his running mate, then Vice President John Nance Garner; a man whose political ideology was the basis for his opposition to a famous package of legislation called ‘The New Deal’ designed to revitalise the financial system. If Zangara’s chair hadn’t wobbled, if any number of things hadn’t occurred exactly when and how they did, America may not have survived The Great Depression.
Wow this is an awesome thread!
Lauren did you by any chance to The Quiet American for context, and the film All About Eve?
Thanks for your tips on LA!I've already posted my response to the 2011 exam, The Power of Ink article, but I'll put up another one here. This was for a CSE Exam (just one of the many companies that puts out practice papers every year.) I can't find a copy of the articles online, and I don't want to scan my copy lest I tangle myself in copyright violations etc. Suffice it to say the article was haranguing cyclists in an article called 'The New Bikie War' (my intro and 1st paragraph contextualises a bit) It also criticised the government's appeasing cyclists by adding numerous bike lanes on Melbourne roads. There was a visual with a bunch of cyclists spread across a road with the caption 'Four wheels good, two wheels better' (Orwell, anyone??) Then there were some assorted commentaries, as is often the case with VCAA/CSE et al. prescribed texts. This was a 10/10, though I probably focused too much on the images.. oh the woes of an under-appreciated art student :-[
Could you post a sample analysis of yours? Or perhaps just a full body paragraph of analysis because I learn best by example, not by a list of "to dos".
L.A. ESSAY ATTACHED
That was a beast language analysis. Thank you! :)why thank you kind sir... (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-suEs7_GRm2E/Tu9lWfBSAlI/AAAAAAAAE2U/nb8qWJ0O_Us/s220/rawr.gif)
Hi Lauren :)
Just wanted to ask whether you referred to notes from study guides or from websites such as Sparknotes etc. for your texts and if so, how much?
I normally find myself browsing Sparknotes for some ideas before making my own notes on my text (sometimes incorporating those ideas into it) but is that a good idea?
why thank you kind sir... (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-suEs7_GRm2E/Tu9lWfBSAlI/AAAAAAAAE2U/nb8qWJ0O_Us/s220/rawr.gif)Hey Lauren!
I perused through what little I could find on my texts over the summer holidays, and bookmarked a few good pages/topics to come back to once we'd started going through it in class. Study guides are excellent foundations, but they are by no means holistic. Your responses will have to go beyond what's on Sparknotes etc. if you're aiming for higher marks. Also, these resources are available to everyone in the state (with wifi) including the assessors. At the end of the year you might get a complete newbie who's blown away by your ability to spell the author's name correctly and refer to something as a theme, or you might get a cold cynical bastard, hardened by years of reading the same regurgitated info lifted directly from study guides or online resources.
Incorperating ideas is fine, and can even add another dimension to your writing (esp. for Text Response in terms of acknowledging alternate viewpoints) and at this stage of the year it's great that you're already contemplating these ideas. In fact browsing through this sort of stuff is a good background activity, ie. while watching tv or listening to music. Familiarise yourself with as much as you can, but ideally by exam time you'll be confident enough to move beyond the skeleton stuff provided by reference sites and into your own unique interpretations and approaches.
So what should we do after reading our study guides? I also agree that ideas from study guides won't get us as much marks, as 65-70% of students would probably read them. And it would get boring for the assessors if they have to read the same idea over and over again!
So how did you come up with ideas in your text response that distinguished your essay from students who have just been referring to study guides?
How do you layer out your Intro, how do you start it? Any examples would be great :)
sorry for that, i mean text response, if you could do context as well that would be great, thanks :)
Hope that helps :)
Hi Lauren,
I was just wondering, when am I expected to actually start writing context essay? (am in year 11 btw) :)
Hi Lauren,
I find myself not so much "creative" in Context and really lack of ideas. Can you give me some tips on how to improve this throughout the year? My context is Encountering conflict btw.
Thanks heaps Lauren :D
Hi Lauren,
Do you have a guide/structure to an oral presentation? This is for the SAC.
Thanks a bunch :)
Does this sound like an analysis (only one body paragraph) to you?
The British newspaper columnist, which is the fuel for most of The Australian's corrective viewpoints, is rebuked as publishers of "nonsense" and positioned as a naive group who are fast to "express outrage" but "little heard" when the Iraq War actually occurred. pretty long for an opening sentence, try to break this up, or have a more general topic sentence to start off (ie. just a general comment on tone, or whatever your paragraph will focus on) Through asserting that the columnist is publishing "delusional rhetoric", the columnist is relegated to an individual that publishes content that is melodramatic, hyperbolical and fictional. Therefore the readers are made to feel... or made to view the writers as...? Compounded by suggestions that the columnist is "not alone" in this saga, the reader is more easilyappealedpersuaded by the newspaper's contention that Wikileaks is a convenient scapegoat fabricated by the media. How? Why is this effective?Resultant of this, Wikileak's true contributions are unfairly overshadoweds.<--this is evaluation, not analysis *This alludes to a broader cultural habit of media publications to create caricatural antagonistsand protagoniststo galvanise division within the community, with the ultimate aim of fuelling debate and increasing their own readership.* Thus, by acting as if it is shedding light to the true sentiments of media publications and proposing that a "reality check" on Wikileaks is needed, The Australian elevates itself as an objective publication that is contrary to its British counterpart. needs another sentence here too: how does a reader feel about this? What is this appealing to?
What is the best way to,identify the overall tone when analysing a text for language analysis?
Hi, I am in year11 and I feel like up till now I have not put in much effort for English and now I realise how much it matters, except my essay writing skills are kind of just all over the placeDon't worry, you'll have heaps of time to learn the right techniques and approaches. I was screwing things up at this stage in Year 12, and it took me till second term to learn how to properly write a Language Analysis :p
I was wondering if you knew the different types of film response essay questions you may encounter ( Discuss, to what extent do you agree? etc.) and how to form a contention for these different types of essays!
I especially don't know how to write a "Discuss" type of essay
Thanks! :)
Don't worry, you'll have heaps of time to learn the right techniques and approaches. I was screwing things up at this stage in Year 12, and it took me till second term to learn how to properly write a Language Analysis :p
The type of essay questions will tend to be either character/theme based, or based on an author's views and values. Occasionally you'l get one on the audience's interpretation, of on the structure of the text, but other than that, there isn't much variation. You may get quotes in the prompt too, in which case you'll have to determine its significance in relation to the question. The actual phrasing of the prompt (Discuss. Do you agree? etc.) is fairly unimportant, and they're all interchangeable.
There's little difference between: 'Stasiland is about good triumphing over evil. Discuss.' and 'Stasiland is about good triumphing over evil. To what extend do you agree?' In either case, you'll be discussing the key concepts and coming to some conclusion about your own opinions (ie. the extent to which you agree.)
In short, there is no "discuss" type of essay. Every essay you write should be a discussion!
You may have learnt something different throughout years 7-10, and by all means clarify with your teacher since a lot of schools have their own unique approaches, but from a VCE standpoint, don't get too hung up on whether the question is asking you to discuss or agree.
If you need help with a specific one, feel free to post it here and I can break down a sample plan for you :)
“Rather than having imbalanced paragraph lengths, body paragraphs can be structure by:Basically you shouldn't have one paragraph per article. Because at the end of the year you won't get three news articles with visuals, you'll get something like a transcript of a speech with 'embedded visuals' (like a power point slide) or maybe a blog post with a few comments. There will always be some visual element you have to analyse, but don't rely on there being three/four separate texts.
Different appeals and techniques
Positioning of different players
Chronological shifts in arguments”
Is each of the body paragraph talk about all the three comparative articles or just one paragraph talk about one article?
Could you explain further regards to the three dot points you made?
How can I group the techniques used in each articles?There is no official requirement, from VCAA or teachers, though some advocate their own personal preference. My recommendation is that you structure by 'key players'. (Some schools call these 'stakeholders' or 'involved parties,' whatever.) These are the main people/groups/things/ideas that are involved in the issue. For example, pretend you're analysing a news story about the government making mathematics mandatory for Year 12. The players would be: the government, the schools/teachers/community, the students, and mathematics itself. Remember- the 'players' don't have to be people. They can be objects, places, ideas, proposals, roads, countries, the media... pretty much anything.
What does the word 'player' means in LA?
If there is a visual, how can I analyse it in my LA piece? My teacher asked me to write in 7 steps: discuss the background info; object/subject; expressions; surroundings; dialogue; colour and response-the intended effect on readers. I did try it and I ended up having a long paragraph just for the visual.It depends on the visual, but this seems like a pretty safe formula. Sometimes the colour won't be important, or the surroundings won't need discussing, so you don't have to go into detail about all 7. As a general rule, try to work out the contention of the image, and what players are involved, then you should be able to incorporate it in with your other paragraphs, rather than dealing with it separately.
Australia’s worsening relationships with Indonesia has generated widespread concerns that instability in bilateral relationships could lead to larger repercussions if the conflict is not resolved. By appearing didactic, measured and assuring, Hugh White’s opinion article “How to fix our problems with Indonesia” published in The Age on the 3rd of March 2013 outlines in an enumerated, logical format ways to rectify the conflict. White contends that a proactive approach entailing modesty, maturity and sincerity is required by the Australian government, to solve the issue.
The Australian government is positioned by White as stubborn, immature and unreasonable in its approach towards the Indonesian conflict. Its apathy and lack of vision for solving the issue is highlighted when White asserts that the government acts with “unshakable faith”, words which connote a sense of stubbornness, naivety and an acute sense of the government deliberately ignoring the well-intentioned opinions of individuals like himself. This is compounded with predictions that the current approach would only “deepen” the “rift”, directly attributing the blame on the government, White suggests that there is a reason and cause for Indonesia’s reaction. It is suggested that it is Australia’s insistent denial that a “problem exists” and “avoiding serious” discussions which has provoked such an inflamed reaction from Indonesia. When compounded with evocative idioms such as the government insisting on “stick[ing] to their guns” White engenders a serious lack of plan bit clunky, 'engenders' is usually for reader's emotions of reactions eg. 'engenders a sense of disappointment in the government's incompetence...' by the government. Through “avoiding” the real issue, the government is also relegatedasto a timid, passive and immature group. Berating and belittling the government’s efforts, and? the government’s failure to address the issue in a serious, practical and conciliatory manner is augmented. The reader is consequently reminded ofitstheir right to feel angered, embarrassed and puzzled at the government’s current course of action and be more easily convinced that Australia needs to take the first step to "solve the problem" with Indonesia. Excellent paragraph
Having cemented the problems of the government, White implores the readership to accept his proposition that serious, mature and proactive policies need to be adopted. The proliferation of action verbs such as “need to show that”, “treat”, “step back” and “acknowledge” collectively enables White to encourage the government to be proactive in its approach. It also indirectly serves as a bitter disapproval or criticism of the current government’s passive inactions. By suggesting that the “simple truth” is to treat Indonesia with “respect” White rebukes the government for not acting in a way that it deems to be unequivocally straightforward, decent or reasonable. Engendering a cause-and-effect relationship, White implies that it is completely justified for Indonesia to be “offended” and have its “[feathers… ruffled]”. White suggests that Indonesia is not overreacting and Australia deserves an inflammatory and hostile reaction from Indonesia since the Australian government has been insincere, "dismissive" or unconvincing in solving the problems. In doing so, White placates any blame or hostility by its readership on Indonesia and suggests that the real blame or problem lies in Australia’s government. By severely reducing the credibility of the Australian government, the reader is more susceptible to White’s contention that the first step in repairing this bilateral relationship needs to start with Australia. Moreover, by suggesting that the Australian government is paying “political dividends” if it acts graciously, White overtly suggests that Australia stands to gain from solving the conflict. “Dividend” which clearly means an investment suggests to the reader that the government needs to act with the long-term in mind. It also incentivises the reader - that an urgent need to solve the problem exists since an "important relationship" exists with Indonesia. ditto^
By engaging in a didactic approach, where White first contextualises and identifies the problem in the government’s current approach, the reader is more susceptible to White’s viewpoints that a change in government attitude is required. By emphasising their inadequacy,establishing an inadequacy exists,White is ultimatelymoreable to propose to his reader that a mature, proactive and conciliatory approach is required by the government to solve the Indonesian conflict.
Set in Charles Dickens' bleak microcosm of Victorian England, A Christmas Carol presents the reader with a "covetous" Scrooge, who is "hard and sharp as flint". Throughout his journey to redemption, Dickens demonstrates that his protagonist is not innately evil, soothing the reader's distaste for Scrooge perhaps a few words here about how this is achieved, to signpost later arguments ie. 'soothing the reader's distaste for Scrooge through Dickens' portrayal of his {characteristic} and/or {action}.'. Furthermore, an insight into the bitter old man's past enables the reader to sympathise with him. Yet initially, the reader is presented with no reasons to fancy his character.Perfectly functional intro, you've set up your arguments well. It's hard to comment beyond that without reading the whole essay, but I'd say this is an excellent start :)
Perfectly functional intro, you've set up your arguments well. It's hard to comment beyond that without reading the whole essay, but I'd say this is an excellent start :)
The vexations of murderisare explored through Priam’s role of boar hunting. Priam was ‘symbolically as the centre’ of the boar hunting but ‘could have no part in the merely physical business’ as it was ‘his duty to maintain and make shine.’ The visual imagery of murder that is portrayed, such as ‘a ton of steaming flesh and bone waiting to be hacked’ entails the vivid depths that killing has on a man, whether human or lower on the food chain. Priam ‘could have no part in the merely physical business’ no need to repeat the quote, wither cut it from above or paraphrase here or killing the boar for this reason as it polarises men from their fundamental characteristics of being human, yet ‘a little of the beast’s thick blood [was] smeared on his brow,’ being symbolic of his strength to conquer this animal as ‘the realm of the royal was representational.’ This could easily be dismissed as summary, you need to do more with the text as a construct! This is a key element of VCAA criteria; rather than commentating on the characters inside the world of the text, consider them all as devices used by the author. The plot, setting, pacing, symbols, and dialogue are all deliberate decisions made by the author. The question you have to answer is 'for what purpose?' How can these decisions relate to the implications of the prompt?
The lower orders of creation can often teach the most virtous elementary principles to men. Ransom is a bildungsroman no caps of sorts, as King Priam was a being that lived through the transition of slavery to royalty and was searching for the catalyst for him becoming a man which is found through a carter. Somax was ‘a bearded, shaggy-headed fellow’ that was representative of an ‘ordinary man’ throughout Ransom and leads Priam in an adventure outside the walls of Troy. Somax teaches Priam the lessons of being a man through the ‘chatter’ that ‘was of no use’ which was atypical for Priam, coming from a world where ‘a man only spoke to give shape to a decision he had come to…’ Through the simple ‘prattling’ of the men, Priam learnt about love and humility that was elusive to him, and also regret and life was now ‘curious’ and of ‘interest’ to him. Both men had lost children, and Somax relates to Priam when he ‘closed his fist and brought it to his chest to indicate the heart,’ exemplifying that worrying for the health of children ‘is in our nature.’ However, the men also shared experience with regret and not doing the right thing by their children, demonstrated by Somax ‘open[ing] his (son) lip with my fist’ which had the affect of Priam feeling more human through relation of mistakes as he had no close relation with his children. In turn, Priam feels less like a man detached from humanity, and is willing and excited to engage more in life. ditto here, the ends of your paragraphs should be attempting some statement about the author's overall intentions through these constructs, or at the very least link it back explicitly to the prompt and your contention
Australia’s infamous alcohol-fuelled violentceincidents, such as Thomas Kelly’s “tragic” don't wuote here, it sounds like you're being sarcastic death, have generated widespread concerns as to whether or not a new legislation should be implemented in an attempt to reduce the amount of alcohol-fuelled attacks. Byappealingappearing didactic, measured and logical, the editorial “This sodden, angry culture has to change” (The Age, January 24th 2014) contends to the responsible, older adults of Australia that the Premier’s proposed laws will be ineffective as alcohol abuseis theremains a major problem in Australia. The editor aims to persuade their readership that the only way for a decline in alcohol consumption is through cultural change and emphasises the possibility due to the rapid decline of tobacco usage.
The editor asserts that although the Premier is planning to implement a plethora of restrictions to reduce alcohol-fuelled violence, they will be futile. The predominant factor influencing the attacks is the mindset of the individuals who are voluntarily becoming excessively drunk. The editor lists the measures of the Premier’s plans, such as “mandatory 10pm closing times” in order to criticise those who do not believe that “alcohol abuse” is in fact the major “condition” prompting the audience to recognise that Barry O’Farrell’s plan would be ineffective in decreasing the amount of attacks in the country, thus reducing his credibility as he has ignored that Australia is one of the “more drunken cultures” in the world. run on sentences, try to break this up. The editor complements the barbaric actions of the drunk with a photograph of an intoxicated man, with the words “for instant idiot, just add alcohol” sprawled across his face. The editor is positioning the readership to acknowledge the behaviour of the “idiot(s)” as the photograph highlights that this is the mental and health state that many perpetrators of alcohol-fuelled violence are in during the attacks. The audience would be more inclined to agree that the “complex” and “critical” problem of alcohol abuse must be suppressed in order for a decrease in violence to occur, exemplifying word choice? not sure what you're trying to say that the closing times would have no impact and that O’Farrell’s proposal would be unproductive try instead: 'counter-productive' or 'ineffectual' 'unsuccessful' etc. By utilising the evidence that “26 percent” of Australians admit to consuming alcohol in order to “put their health at serious risk,” the audience would be more susceptible to agree that many attacks within Australia are caused by the careless, inebriated individuals who have no regard for their health. You can acknowledge different factions within the audience, rather than just addressing them as a unit. A good word to use here is 'dichotomises' meaning 'to split in two.' So in this case, the author dichotomises alcohol consumers between responsible social drinkers, and violent, reckless drunks. We are therefore more likely to associate ourselves with the responsible crowd, and condemn the others. Hence, the audience are positioned to recognise that alcohol intoxication is the reason the violence and thus the proposed laws are “clearly not working.”
Having cemented that alcohol intoxication is the predominant factor causing the violence in Australia; the editor explains the consequences of alcohol and the implementations the medical association have proposed. The editor sways the reader to recognise need some synonyms for this the disastrous ramifications of alcohol intoxication, even though many fail to admit their own consumption, proved by the editor questioning whether the results are the “truth.” This promotes the reader to recognise the public’s naivety towards their own alcohol consumption and their ignorance is causing “damage” which is “extensive and costly.” The readership is positioned to recognise that the community’s lack of knowledge can be altered and improved with a cultural change and proper education in order to expose the dangerous ramifications which occur. The many ramifications of alcohol such as “breast cancer,” “heart disease,” and the possibility of “mental illness” would frighten the reader, who would be more inclined to then agree that their own amount of alcohol consumption must be reduced. The editor also promotes the audience to inform their own families and friends of the dangerous effects of alcohol in order to reduce the health factors which are caused by alcohol. The Medical Association has “urged” the government to agree to the “essential” analyse at word level here. What does 'essential' denote? (ie. critical, important, vital necessity etc.) approach, enforcing the importance of reducing the amount of alcohol consumption. The highly credible opinion of the Medical Association would sway the audience to agree with their suggestion,dodue to their valuable knowledge of health. Hence, the editor hopes that by informing the audience of the many health factors and dangerous consequences, the readership would agree to the AMA’s proposal to reduce the “epidemic” of alcohol consumption.
transition b/n paragraphs could be smoother, try to at least use a 'Likewise' or 'However'
The editor vehemently asserts the need to reduce the amount of alcohol consumption and the need for a cultural change. The author inclusively groups the audience by implying that “we cannot afford” to continue the current perception of “leisure time” in Australia. This promotes that the editor is an ordinary member of the community, encouraging the readership to agree with a fellow neighbour. In addition, as this highlights community members are affected by the alcohol consumption in the community, the audience are positioned to perceive that they also play a critical role in reducing the alcohol-fuelled violence due to the need for a cultural reform. The editor outlines the many failed attempts of preventing violence such as “several summits” and “discussion papers” even though the “problem still persists” The audience would be are aware that the government has failed to acknowledge that the core of the violence is alcohol abuse and thus proves that a cultural change would be the most beneficial solution The editor asserts only a “cultural change” will impact on the amount of violence in the country, implicitly suggesting to the audience that once the public become more informed with an “extensive and effective education,” there will be a decline in alcohol intoxication and thus alcohol-fuelled violence, further enforcing the benefits of a change in the culture surrounding alcohol. another quite dense sentence, break it up a bit Hence, the editor evokes word choice? 'calls upon' 'invokes?' the readership to understand the importance of cultural change and the overall benefits.
The editor concludes their piece by asserting that the success of the decline in smoking can act as an incentive to reduce the amount of alcohol consumption in Australia. The editor praises the country for “succeeding in that way” against tobacco, highlighting that a cultural change had causedthefewer smokers in Australia, promoting the audience to agree within the proposal as cultural change is evidently achievable and has proven results. The editor complements the need for a cultural reform with two cartoons depicting a cigarette and wine glass with large crosses over both of them. The readership are positioned to recognise the well-known symbol of the no-smoking icon and believe that with cultural change, the wine cartoon being crossed out may also become a well-known within society. The editor is leaves the audience with the simple message that like smoking, alcohol consumption can also decrease if the same approach is undertaken. Henceforth, the audience are inclined to recognise that a cultural change must occur for a reduction of violence within Australia. If this is your conclusion, you should bring up the images earlier, and don't leave so much analysis till right at the end. If this is a 4th paragraph then you need a conclusion :P
“I was learning that Baba had been a thief. And a thief of the worst kind, because the things he had stolen had been sacred.” Baba’s actions in The Kite Runner are more damaging than any of Amir’s. Discuss.
In Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner, the actions of both Baba and Amir are portrayed as destructive in nature, but ultimately, the reader is able to see Amir as a less damaging character due to his atonement and consequent redemption. By highlighting Baba’s failure to act and his betrayal of his homeland, Hosseiniillustrates Baba in a cowardly and disloyal way.either 'illustrates Baba's cowardice and disloyalty' or 'portrays Baba in a cowardly and disloyal way' (first is probably better.) While it may be argued that Amir’s actions were far more damaging than any of Baba’s, Baba’s actions while raising Amir caused him to act in a negative way.
In The Kite Runner, it is often the case that a characters failure to act can prove to be more damaging than any of their actions. In the case of Amir, it is his failure to defend Hassan during the rape that proves the most damaging, but in the case of Baba it is his failure to atone for his actions. Although Baba’s actions alone are not considered as damaging as Amir’s, the mere fact that Amir tried to redeem himself after his poor decisions shows responsibility and integrity and allowed him to finally feel “healed”. While the beating he took from Assef left his body “broken”, he was able to laugh because he had finally atoned. Baba, on the other hand, failed to atone for the way he raised his son. His high expectations and lack of affection caused Amir to feel the need to “sacrifice for Baba”, which directly resulted in him considering the blue kite of higher value than Hassan. Baba never let Amir know that he was good enough, and this proved to be detrimental to his moral standings at a young age. While Baba did not directly cause the rape, his actions were more damaging in the scheme of things than Amir’s were. Good use of evidence, but you need another sentence here to tiw back to the prompt and your contention. Try to use the author's name here to 'zoom out' and comment on overall views and values. You could even comment on audience interpretation (ie. the word 'damaging' can refer to both the character's effects on one another, and their personas as we see them)
The theme of loyalty and betrayal is prevalent in The Kite Runner, as it illustrates the transition of Afghanistan from a country of beauty to a country of destruction and war. It would be unreasonable to claim that Baba was the direct cause of Afghanistan’s demise, but the people who fled Afghanistan were significant symbolic contributors to the loss of their homeland. Baba fled as soon as he realised that his “way of life had ended” in Afghanistan. He was acting in a responsible way in terms of what his son needed, but in other ways he was leaving his country to fend for itself. He not only left his country, he robbed his son of his homeland. Kabul was not the same, “you couldn’t trust anyone”, but the significance and importance of “standing up” for his country in its time of need seemingly overrules leaving in terms of importance. This further proves the damaging effect that Baba’s actions have throughout the novel, especially in terms of the country of which he originates. Excellent ideas in this para, but a weak ending. Same as above, comment on authorial intent, audience interpretation, or at least link it back to the prompt.
There are several father-son relationships illustrated in The Kite Runner which explore the various ways that you are able to raise your son. While it can be argued that Baba is a positive influence on how Amir acts by encouraging him to “stand up for himself”, his cold and distant treatment towards Amir’s choices early in life causes him to feel inadequate. This, in turn, causes Amir to sacrifice Hassan to Assef and the bullies to impress his father. If Baba was a more loving and accepting father, Amir would never have felt the need to “win Baba” and he would not have had to symbolically “slay” Hassan in the way that one would slay a “lamb”. This then caused Amir to feel the need to hide his deception of Hassan, which eventually led to Hassan’s death. This behaviour was indirectly destructive, but it was destructive nonetheless. Excellent point, worth 'fleshing out' a bit more, what is Hosseini saying about blame/intent/destruction..?
While Amir’s behaviour is destructive in its own right, Baba’s is significantly more destructive overall. By examining the way that Amir attempts to atone for his wrongs, his betrayal of his homeland and the way he raises his legitimate son all illuminate the significance of his negative actions throughout the text and how they are more damaging than Amir’s. good conclusion, but your last sentence could be stronger. 'By examining... all illuminate the significance of...' is a bit clunky too. Maybe explore the point you raised in your last para about the unintentional/indirect destruction, or at least challenge the nature of 'destruction' as something definitive and measurable. You are allowed to agre with the prompt, but it's usually good to challenge it in some way, even if it's only a few minor points, try to find instances of alternate interpretation or outright contrary evidence.
8-9/10
Your analytical skills are very good, and you clearly know the pattern for Language Analysis. You do tend to cram it all into one sentence though, which can make it a laborious read for an assessor. This could be easily spotted with a quick reread though, and eventually you should be able to notice when you lapse into run-on sentences.
Also you don't mention many techniques. I can count about two, and one of them is inclusive language (which I guarantee everyone in the state will mention.) Maybe look over a list of techniques and try to deal with some more complex ones.
Other than that, you seem to know what you're doing. Some basic structural/vocabulary improvements should have a noticeable impact on your marks :)
Best of luck :)
Quick question regarding language analysis. If expert opinion is used in the article, how can we write the effect on audience? I want to say that they "are placed in a position where they must agree with the author as he is an expert". But this doesn't sound very good. Do you know any way how I can word this?
Do you have any recommendations for any novels/types of novels, that will improve my overall English ability?
Thanks!
Thanks so much for the help!! Didn't realise the styles were mutually exclusive :)
...the forms and the styles are not mutually exclusive.Ahem, just to clarify. They're not mutually exclusive, that's why you have the option of writing 'hybrid' essays that incorporate two or more different styles. So in your case, you might want to use a letter format, but have the writer of the letter ponder the nature of the context in an expository way, or you could even interpolate the letter with someone reading it, then provide their inner monologue, which could involve a mix of the expository and creative styles.
when watching a film or reading a book for text response, do you know any tips on how to pick out things to use in an essay? For the film I have been studying, it has been difficult for me to pick out things that hasn't been done before.Where do I start...
I was just wondering how you would interpret this cartoon.Oh how I love visual analysis! It's been so long...
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/t31/1617629_259588140877095_276129351_o.jpg
Where do I start...
If you want specific help then let me know what text response/context you're studying, what film it is, and what exactly you're having trouble with. The following are some general purpose tips for how to 'read/watch' your texts.Best of luck!
- (Though not applicable now) For future students: the first reading/viewing should take place during the summer holidays. The second will either be before you study it, or while you're going through it in class depending on how your school runs things. The third and subsequent times will be before major assessment (ie. SACs and exams.) There is no set amount of times to view the text, it will depend on its complexity and your ability, but three is my recommended minimum.
- Each of these readings will have a general purpose. The first is to acquaint yourself with the plot, characters, and perhaps some surface level themes. The second is for in depth themes, quotes, and character development. The third will be primarily for quotes and evidence, though perhaps some more extended investigation into subtler passages/scenes/metaphors rather than relying on the big moments in the text. So don't be too concerned if the sophisticated musings on iconography and semiotics don't come to you straight away :P Focus on a more gradual learning curve instead of bombarding your brain with info you can't yet handle.
- Once you've grasped the basic ideas, try to view the text as an English Text. Basically look beyond the plot outline and the basic concerns. What is the author trying to say?? It's at this point you might want to start looking at practice prompts, the way they're phrased, and what kind of areas they want you to discuss. Probably still too soon to attempt full practice essays, worry about the content for now.
- Step 4: RESEARCH! This can be really fun or really tedious. Depends mainly on your text, but also your attitude towards English I guess. Start with whatever you've been given in class as background material; consider this the foundation, as you'll be expected to go beyond this if you want points for interpretation and quality of ideas. Assuming you have nothing to work with: first, research the text. Wikipedia is usually sufficient :-X Familiarise yourself with the context (when and where.) Then look into the author's life and times. Are there any major events or ideologies that influence their work? This becomes the 'how and why' part, in terms of the way the text is constructed. VCAA are big on this 'construct' idea, and every essay should endeavour to step out of the textual analysis and comment on the author's views and values.
- After that (though this one is technically still research) google '_text name_' + academic articles/ review journals/ academic essays etc. This was a big help for me when it came to alternate interpretations and developing my ideas beyond what the study designs dictated. This won't work for everyone, I know a lot of the newer texts on the reading lists won't have many resources available so my condolences to you guys. Also a lot of what you do find will be pseudo academic drivel, so take it all with a grain of salt, but eventually you'll find something owrth your time. Maybe make some notes if it's a good enough resource.
- Now go back to the practice prompts. Note any common themes or reoccuring key words; these will likely be a major part of any essay. See if you can find some left-of-field ones too (usually structural questions) and think about how you could approach them. This is where the practice paragraphs and eventually essays will begin, though the research part can be ongoing. Read over some past essays and think about what makes them good or bad. If they've used a certain bit of evidence to make a point, think about how that same or a similar point could be made with different quotes or scenes. I've put up some notes on responding to prompts earlier that discuss how to wring the most out of a question, so maybe consult those when the time comes.
- Then the fine tuning begins. By now you'll have some of your own work to refer back to, hopefully with as much feedback as possible (classroom teachers, or a different teacher if you want a second opinion, tutors, smart English-y friends etc.) If you still think originality and content are a problem, go back to the research and try to find an alternate interpretive angle now that you have practiced some of the more straightforward ones. Don't worry too much about this though. Granted your essay will be read amidst 200 other essays on the same text, but so long as your ideas are well supported and explored they're not going to penalise you for mentioning something they've read before; there's only so much to say. Try to have one or two key points that deal with the text in a unique way, or at least substantiate your discussion with unique evidence.
How is employing a reasonable/logical tone persuasive?
Hi, Lauren. I don't really understand the meaning of "surface level themes" and "In depth themes". Can you explain further for me?
- .The first is to acquaint yourself with the plot, characters, and perhaps some surface level themes. The second is for in depth themes, quotes, and character development.
Rightio: for a Text Response Essay you're expected to deal with the text in a lot of detail. Every paragraph you write MUST be about some part of the text. You're allowed to include some background information about the author's life and times, but only a couple of sentences, and only if it's relevant to the discussion.
For context, however, the text is just a 'springboard,' meaning it's only the beginning of your ideas. Although your essay has to build on the ideas in the text (and you should mention it explicitly at least once; this is not an official criterion, but VCAA can penalise you for it anyway, trust me :-\) After that, you can use whatever you want: external sources like news stories & current affairs, historical events, famous people, books, songs, quotes, other literature etc. etc. Not every paragraph has to mention the text, you're only using it to say something about the Context/prompt.
I guess an easy way to differentiate the two would be that for Text Response you use the prompt to discuss the text, whereas for Context you use the text to discuss the prompt.
It's annoyingly similar (esp. for expository style Contest pieces) but here's hoping VCAA lift their game for next year's Study Design.
Not much consolation at the moment, sorry :P
Rightio: for a Text Response Essay you're expected to deal with the text in a lot of detail. Every paragraph you write MUST be about some part of the text. You're allowed to include some background information about the author's life and times, but only a couple of sentences, and only if it's relevant to the discussion.
For context, however, the text is just a 'springboard,' meaning it's only the beginning of your ideas. Although your essay has to build on the ideas in the text (and you should mention it explicitly at least once; this is not an official criterion, but VCAA can penalise you for it anyway, trust me :-\) After that, you can use whatever you want: external sources like news stories & current affairs, historical events, famous people, books, songs, quotes, other literature etc. etc. Not every paragraph has to mention the text, you're only using it to say something about the Context/prompt.
I guess an easy way to differentiate the two would be that for Text Response you use the prompt to discuss the text, whereas for Context you use the text to discuss the prompt.
It's annoyingly similar (esp. for expository style Contest pieces) but here's hoping VCAA lift their game for next year's Study Design.
Not much consolation at the moment, sorry :P
Hi Lauren,Your idea seems solid enough, what exactly are you having trouble with? Is it coming up with ideas or expressing them?
We have a upcoming SAC on context, which is in the form of imaginary writing, with the context encountering conflict, situated around ideas from Animal Farm. My dilemma is , i have hardly written one, i wrote one in year 7/8 and one beginning of year 10, where i blabbed on about random stuff. I have no idea how to go about it an no idea of structuring.
I have come up with an idea about using the basis of the darwin bombings as the story, with mr Frederick and humans etc attacking on Animal Farm, thats just an idea i got no idea. Do you have anything that will help me/tips etc.
Thanks heaps :0
For context what is the difference between a creative, expository and persuasive form?
Hi Lauren,
I was just wondering, beyond the quality>quantity, what word count should you be aiming for?
When I'm trying to absolutely perfect my essays when I am writing them on my computer under no time restrictions, it could take me close to 2-3 hours to write a single paragraph. When I got into my essay which I was massively unprepared for, I was expecting to write around 2 pages. When I saw the prompt I realised I had done some work on it and got my three ideas and could non-stop write about it and wrote around 4 1/2 pages in 45 minutes before I realised my first paragraph was like 1 1/2 pages long and my last paragraph was like a page long, and decided to stop.
What should you aim for? Also despite ranks, if I were to go to a school that was ranked in the top 50, what would a good score out of 30 be which is on cue for a 40 study score? I know it varies and that SACs are just a rank, but for the sake of knowing the quality of writing, what should you really be getting out of 30?
Ta.
Why have you got that time breakdown the way it is?
Don't make your time restrictions too harsh, you might get a really easy L.A. piece and a god awful context prompt. It's good to know what your strengths are, but be prepared to re-strategize (?) once you're in the exam. Even SACs can sometimes be a good challenge, forcing you to throw all your preparation out the window :)
Firstly, 850-950 is fine. Obviously quality>quantity, but it's generally hard to score really well with less than 800 words. By the end of the year, hopefully you'll have so much to write that you'll be well and truly over that limit anyway. (There's actually no official 'limit' though, just general advice based on what teachers/assessors have told me.) Don't worry about writing more in SACs, that's good practice for expressing all your ideas or tackling difficult prompts. Focus on content for now, it's easy to fine tune the word count towards the end of the year.
That said, if you're heading towards the 1200+ range, you might need to cut down. This isn't the case for everyone, (I think my T.R. essay would have been around that, and I know others who wrote even more) but ~900 should give you a rough guide as to how much VCAA want you to cover. They're not expecting a thesis, or a whole lot of background details. Maybe go through some of your SACs/practice essays and work out how much of your essay is critical analysis vs. how much is irrelevant waffle :P If it's all good then just keep doing what you're doing, but if you find there are a few sentences or chunks of paragraphs that don't really accomplish much, then concentrate on whittling down your essay to the important bits. Assessors are more impressed with what you can do effectively in a short space than how much you can cover in an hour.
Re: timing. 15 minutes is probably too long for editing. Try to edit as you go rather than waste time at the end rereading the whole thing (especially if you're not a fast reader.) Just practice as many different article formats for L.A. and prompts for Context and T.R. so that very little will surprise you, and you'll give yourself the best chance at the end of the year :)
Hi Lauren9460,Of course!
I had Parent Teacher Interviews this week and my English teacher was talking about there being ways you can study for English throughout the year instead of always focussing on practice pieces and going over your texts.
I'm planning to ask him exactly what he meant this week, but I was just wondering what you did in terms of "studying" for English besides doing practice pieces and getting feedback?
Thank you :)
In an expository essay are you allowed to use symbols and motifs from the set text, as evidence to support your big idea? :)
Yes, but not as a substitute for an explicit reference to the text. Theoretically you can just use the ideas of a text to support a Context piece, and your teacher might encourage this, but at the end of the year examiners prefer REALLY EXPLICIT REFERENCES., like, 'In Bertolt Brecht's play 'Life of Galileo' this concept of conflict being inevitable is compounded through...'
Annoyingly this might make your work seem quite clunky, but try to get it done once or twice to fulfil the 'relevance' criterion. For the rest of your essay though, these subtler motifs and tropes can be excellent evidence for your discussion.
[Edit:] Just realised I assumed you were talking about context pieces. For an expository Text Response of course these things are often very strong evidence, but remember for context it's more about the general ideas. You don't want your essay to read like a T.R. in that it sticks too closely to the set text. Move in and out between examples and discussion, using symbols and motifs is fine though.
Hey Lauren not sure if you replied or not, couldn't see your comment. How do i structure a creative context essay?I'm sure you could see this comment if you looked for it, which I'm assuming you didn't, because it took me less than thirty seconds to find :) Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
thanks
Rishi,
Don't stress too much about exam preparation. If you've done the SAC and are moving on in class then just go with the flow. BUT if retention is an issue, then maybe some summary notes would do you good. My recommendation is to have two different quote repositories: one ordered by characters (eg. one for Scrooge, one for Tiny Tim etc. Can be quotes from them or about them, or both) and then another for themes (eg. greed, kindness, charity etc.)
Once you're familiar with the text it's just a matter of dealing with prompt types. I don't know who's in charge of the Christmas Carol prompts at the end of the year, but they LOVE their Views and Values questions (eg. 'Dickens presents a negative critique of Victorian society' or 'The audience never truly dislike Scrooge.') Find what you're comfortable with (out of character, thematic, quote, structural, and V&V themes) practice a few of them, and then move on to the difficult ones. Hopefully by the time the exam comes you'll be prepared for whatever they throw at you :)
Like I said though, focus on what you're doing in class for the moment. These holidays will be good for revising and collating notes, but ultimately there's a reason schools do things in a certain order at certain times, and the other two tasks will require just as much dedication, so be sure to pace yourself :)
what is a juxtaposition and could you give an example of how to effectively use it in language analysis?
How would you recommend constructing a conclusion for a comparative analysis? Should we restate the contention or not? Thanks :)
Hi, I was wondering....
in the sentence: ‘dismantle[d] the Howard government’s hard-won border protection’ policies, in effect ‘turbocharged the people smuggling racket and lured asylum seekers…with the promise of open borders’.
How is the word 'hard - won' used? How does it effect the readers?
oh ok, thank you :)
finally I was also wondering:
On the same topic, the quote ‘the opportunistic bleeding hearts who have been parading with their compassion all week’ (Referring to the Labour party)
How would i phrase this cause i want to say how by using the word 'parading' to describe how the Left are expressing their compassion, you wouldn't really associate 'parading' with compassion, cause its not like a happy occasion that should be celebrated? and thus readers feel... not sure how it would impact on readers... feels like the Left are not taking the issue seriously... ???
Hello....
Can you please help me?
language analysis:
By informing readers that this tragedy ‘never should have happened’....
not sure how to finish the sentence i'm pretty sure there is an effect on the readers. The tragedy is the deaths of asylum seekrs trying to get here.
Thanks in advance
and thus the writeremphasiseemphasisesonher concerns for those 'unhappy people' and aims to elicit sympathyfrom readers(redundant, we know who she's eliciting sympathy from) to urgently act and reverse the backward trend take what action? reverse what trend? Maybe you've covered this in earlier sentences, but this is still a bit vague. How exactly are we inclined to think/feel?
Hi
Urgent help plz...
Is it a language technique for the writer to seem like he is talking directly to a certain group of people it's targeting... Eg it is written and read by general public but then end by seemingly targeting a group of people who promise to act better but have not done so: 'if he is true to his words, we would like to see what that entails'
Is that a technique and if so what is the purpose? Is there an effect?
Thx ;)
Hi
Urgent help plz...
Is it a language technique for the writer to seem like he is talking directly to a certain group of people it's targeting... Eg it is written and read by general public but then end by seemingly targeting a group of people who promise to act better but have not done so: 'if he is true to his words, we would like to see what that entails'
Is that a technique and if so what is the purpose? Is there an effect?
Thx ;)
smile+energy,
Loaded language refers to words that evoke emotions or make you feel something.
The connotations of a word are what you think about when you hear that word.
To use the above example, 'war' is a very loaded term. It has connotations of suffering, bloodshed, death and despair.
Basically, loaded language is language that has strong connotations.
Easiest way to differentiate 'denigrate' from 'attack': If I attacked you, I'd walk up to you and call you ugly. If I denigrated you, I'd go up to someone else and say 'my god, look at that guy, isn't he ugly!?'
Although technically that second example is an attack too, it's not a direct attack because I'm not saying it to your face, I'm saying it through someone else. Both are quite common in Language Analysis.
:)
Hey Lauren!Not the OP, but try and find critical essays on your specific texts. This is obviously going to be dependent on what your particular texts are, but if you're doing something like Henry IV or A Christmas Carol which has been discussed for a long period of time, have a look on google scholar. Otherwise look for books on your particular book - again for Shakespeare, Dickens etc there will be plenty (try the state library - it's worth it because you'll find ideas nobody else in your class will have even thought about). Look on The Age's education page - there are 'text talk' articles on a lot of the VCE english texts which are useful.
Firstly, thanks so much for this amazing resource. :D
Secondly, I noticed you mentioned that reading Academic Journals could improve our vocabulary and expression.
I assume you aren't referring to scientific journals such as Nature or Science, but rather humanities orientated journals?
Could you please either links to where I can find such journals or the names of these journals.
Thanks.
How do you suggest someone improve from a 16/20 text response to a 20/20 by the end of year 12?? Thanks :)
I can't really comment without having read your work. Look at your teacher's comments, first and foremost. There are many different reasons why you aren't getting full marks. Are your ideas lacking sufficient development? Is your structure a bit messy? Simplistic vocab? For Text Response you might not be 'engaging' with the text as much as they want. This might be more of a 'how to move from 19/20 to 20/20 question' but to earn full marks you need to argue for a sustained interpretation of the text. The extent to which you are able to do this will be dependent on the prompt, and it's the sort of thing that's developed throughout the year, not instantaneously.Thank you so much :)
What sort of feedback have you gotten on your SACs/practice pieces? I'd recommend you start there :)
Thank you so much :)
I've gotten feedback mainly concerning my inability to quote comprehensively and that I need to improve my clarity of expression.
hello,haha_:
do you happen to have any sample comparative language analysis? I'm having difficulty of how to structure it.
Thanks
contention: Immigration Minister Scott Morrison and Abbott are trying to hide publicising their association with the deaths at manus island - portraying them as guilty - their faces look angry (so publicity is not want they want)
'no one would ever want to come to australia' - implying that Australia as a whole is just as bad as Morrison and Abbott's refugee policies - ridicule Australia into guilt and acting otherwise
Romeo and Juliet were victims of adult foolishness”. Discuss
William Shakespeare’s lachrymose tragedy, Romeo and Juliet, a five-act drama set in the Italian city of Verona it's not compulsary that you cut this out, just know that it's not earning you any marks, and you risk sounding like you're 'waffling on,' which the examiners are not a fan of.. shows that feuding needs a qualifier here, is this always the case? Maybe say 'can' or 'often' to avoid seeming so absolute results in catastrophic ends. Romeo and Juliet’s elders are indeed to be blamed for the protagonists’ deaths. Romeo and Juliet’s consider synonyms: 'the couple' or 'the lovers' parents are indoctrinated word choice. Entrenched? Ingrained? You could say the younger generation (Tybalt, Mercutio) are indoctrinated by their parents, but the parents are a different case altogether in their historical feud; moreover, their relationship with Romeo and Juliet is shallow and their ancient grudge isolates the two protagonists. While this is the case, Shakespeare’s foremost message rests on the omnipresence of fate and its ability to turn love’s forcefulness into death. Conversely, The Prince of Verona, Prince Escalus, is an authority figure who exacerbates the two lovers’ predicament. Hence, Shakespeare presents a dichotomous view that allocates blame both to the adult, antagonistic characters and to the inescapability inevitability of fate.
The parents of the two protagonists leave Romeo and Juliet alone and their disregard for their needs is a key factor in their deaths. Their ancient quarrel was caused by their ancestors and is reinforced by their inability to reconcile with their opposing households. This can be seen in the play’s opening act, where a ruinous brawl takes place, when Abram, servant of the house of Montague says,” Do you bite your thumb at us sir”? Sampson, the servant of the Capulet family, declares “I do bite my thumb at you, sir”. This shows the absurdity of the maleficent w.c. quarrel between the two households; such a tokenistic gesture that has no meaning initiates an extraordinary amount of carnage. Excellent analysis, but I wouldn't say thumb biting has no meaning. It certainly doesn't to us today, but in Elizabethan England it was a genuine sign of disrespect. Shakespeare uses this to illustrate the lunacy of the feud and the preposterousness of violence in general. V. good! It is this focus on violence and a prosaic view of love relationships? that inhibits the love between Romeo and Juliet. The formality of the exchange between Lady Capulet and Juliet can be seen in Act One Scene Three, where Lady Capulet says, Nurse, where’s my daughter? Call her forth to me”. Juliet responds by saying “Madam, I am here. What is your will?” This exchange of a mundane daily nicety highlights the shallowness of the relationship between Juliet and her mother. *Thus, Shakespeare’s deliberate ambiguity in concealing the cause of the feud between the Montagues and Capulets is done to accentuate the ridiculousness of the feud. The quarrel between the two households shows Romeo and Juliet’s ancestors bear some responsibility for their deaths.
* These are both god points, but I don't understand the 'thus.' The two arguments seem to be quite unrelated. Either save this Juliet-Mother point for a later paragraph, or just strengthen the link between that and the absurdity of the feud. But this is a really strong paragraph overall.
On the other hand, Shakespeare’s main point rests on the inevitability of fate and its ability to subvert love. Thus, Romeo and Juliet most poignantly examines fate and its omnipresent existence. Either Romeo and Juliet examine or 'Romeo and Juliet' examines Are you atlking about the characters or the text? Fate’s inevitability is pervasive, often directed encapsulated? conveyed through? mirrored in? by the influence of the stars and the influence of the supernatural. synonyms for influence'? As soon as Romeo and his associates plan to gatecrash Capulet’s party Romeo has a premonition of impending doom, and Mercutio, the Prince’s kinsman, insists his dreamof doomis caused by a figment of Paganism. The eponymous ? Romeo and Juliet are the eponymous ones ??? Queen Mab is depicted as a supernatural character that helps bring Romeo and Juliet to a tragic end because “She is the fairies' midwife, and she comes. In shape no bigger than an agate stone”. This remark is said in the concluding lines of Act One Scene Four and indicates that the supernatural form of fate is a small force, almost unnoticeable; however, its significance is unavoidable. Although Romeo ignores Queen Mab’s invisible influence he is very much aware that she “hath been with him”. Thus, Mercutio’s speechin the concluding lines of Act One Scene Fourshows that the supernatural is a force to be reckoned with. The lover’s realisation that they are “star-crossed” , as the chorus exalts in the prologue, is heavily featured and adds to fate’s fickleness.The Chorus says this in the prologue.This major statement indicates that the results of this play are not controllable by humanity. Romeo and Juliet play or characters?? shows, through celestial imagery, that fate is powerful and unstoppable by humanity’s love because of “some consequence yet hanging in the stars”. Therefore, in Romeo and Juliet Shakespeare shows that fate as a supernatural entity is the main factor that inhibits the love of Romeo and Juliet and causes their death.
Remember to make it clear when you're refering to characters and when you're talking about the text as a whole. This is a common problem in Shakespeare since so many of his plays centre on the eponymous/ titular (meaning 'of the title') characters. Quotation marks in writing or italics/underlining for typed pieces is the convention here.
Moreover, Shakespeare shows that humans are not in control of their dreams and who they are fated to fall in love with. Rather, their love is instigated by chance and not choice because they are “fortune’s fool”. Excellent link. This somewhat nihilistic statement comes from Romeo after he slays Tybalt. This can be seen, at the Capulet Lamas Eve party, at the conclusion of act one, when Lord Capulet says that Romeo “is a virtuous and well governed youth”; thus, showing his high standing in Verona; however, this high standing is unable to help him with his love for Juliet because he is a victim of fate’s inevitability.Shakespeare suggests that the love between Romeo and Juliet loomed w.c. only as an outgrowth of happenstance. Yet again Romeo foreshadows his death and indicates his death is a result of fate. How? When? You need evidence here. Fate separates the lovers from the walls of Verona and leaves them with no true allies. This is evident because Shakespeare only utilizes the soliloquy form in the play for the two lovers. Hence Shakespeare illuminates the loneliness of the two lovers and their inability to choose their destiny. It is through the isolation of the lovers that impedes the love between Romeo and Juliet; thus showing how fate permeates the play.Thus, showingThis also serves to show that fate controls the parents of the two lovers; however, the absence of a clearand individualantagonist in the play indicates that not one individual or any catalyst of fate is responsible for the deaths of the two protagonists, butindeedinstead, it is a combination of factors as is consistent with the nature and pattern of traditional tragedy. V. good para.
link? ^This seems to be more of a final paragraph, the one below feels 'tacked on' at the end.
Prince Escalus, The Prince of Verona, aims to restore peace in Verona; however, his actions only exacerbate the quarrel between the Montagues and the Capulets. This is evident, at the play’s climax, when the Prince says,” See, what a scourge is laid upon your hate. And I for winking at your discords too”. Thus, the Prince is admitting that he didn’t understand the extent of the two families’ hatred.As a result,Shakespeare refrains from writing this damning speech in Iambic Pentameter; unlike, the rest of the play, which Shakespeare writes in poetic form. This change in writing style illuminates the speech’s resonance and its condemning tone. The connotations in the Prince’s condemnatory diatribe? accusatory? polemic? there are some great synonyms for this speech indicate that all the townspeople have been and will be punished. This indicates that Shakespeare allocates blame to a variety of characters because the Prince is very much aware of his shortcomings in the matter of Romeo and Juliet; thus, indicating that an adult, authority figure that was supposed to protect the streets of Verona failed in his duty.
Throughout the play numerous adult characters contribute to the deaths of Romeo and Juliet. Through religious w.c. It's supernatural/ ethereal, but I wouldn't say religious imagery, Shakespeare also refers to fate as the ultimate reason for the tragedy. The Prince is derelict in his duties by allowing the death of the two protagonists. The Montagues and Capulets grand naivety in allowing their feud to continue enables their suicides to eventuate. Try not to have your conclusion be this definitive listing of the points in each paragraph. It's okay to summarise, but try to mix it up a little. Holistically, Shakespeare’s play Romeo and Juliet censures this is more for formal documents or legal disputes, go for denounces? fulminates against? excoriates? Or maybe they're too strong? Even just inpugns or challenges would be alright here these adult inimical characters and the ubiquitous presence of fate for the deaths of Romeo and Juliet.
Hi Lauren, just wanting to get your advice on something about context.
My context is Whose Reality and we have a practice SAC after school on Thursday next week. I was just wondering how to best prepare for this between now and then?
I feel somewhat comfortable with the ideas in the text, but how do you choose what to do with them in a piece of writing?
Thanks :)
When writing a context piece, what are the different styles within persuasive? Also, vague question but, which style is "safest"?(ie. you don't go off topic easily)
Hi Lauren,
How does one write an idiosyncratic conclusion for a text response that is both a variation from the norm and that captures an examiner's eye.
Thanks in advance!
hi Lauren:)
what is the main difference between a text response and context essay?
thanks
Hey Lauren, my teacher told me for language analysis to use the "ape" format- argument, persuasive technique and example.
However in the document you wrote, you told us to use the TEE format!
I'm so confused... Is it necessary to list the arguments on the issue we are analysing? Or do we only focus on the technique, example and effect?
Hi! I've been stuck on this for ages and i would love some help if you're not too busy! My teacher said something about a simple and complex contention but I don't know whether I've gotten them right. Also she said theres 3 devices used in this article: appeal to fear, appeal to authority and I can't remember the last one. anyway I'm struggling finding any.
heres the link to the article
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/opinion/our-race-act-has-had-a-civilising-effect-leave-it-be/story-e6frgd0x-1226909389549#
Thanks!
Hi, Lauren
For Context, how can you draw on the ideas and arguments in the texts to create your own text that is relevant to the set prompt?
Can I just copy the same ideas in my own writing?
Hi Lauren,
This question may (most likely) have been asked before, however, I was wondering for a language analysis - using the standard usual 2 texts plus a picture format - does devoting each paragraph to each section of the article lessen the complexity of your essay?
For example, the intro, analysis of opinion piece one, analysis of opinion piece two, analysis of image in contrast with both arguments.
I've read many books that say this approach is applaudable, and others portray this approach as simplistic and not appealing to the examiners.
What's the best overall structure that you think I should stick with/practice throughout the year.
Thanks.
Hi Lauren,
Just a short question, How would you recommend to help determine a suitable audience in the statement of intention for a context piece,
Thanks!
Hi Lauren,
I consider English to be my one and only speciality (in life generally) and I did poorly in my text response essay as I am aiming for a 40+ and only got 27/30 when I was receiving 29s in the practice ones. Moreover, I have dropped two marks for Language Analysis and the Speech 19/20 and 19/20, and I know to get 40 you have to be getting 100's and A+'s. Bitterly disappointed, as I feel that my teacher adjusted the marks slightly to keep me motivated. Unfortunately, even if I had done the impossible like yourself and got a 50 study score in English, I would have always been looking for ways I could improve in the future.
Sooo upset. I was wondering if anyone has any advice on dealing with this disappointing result? I created my own chapter summaries, highlighted my novel, read it x 2, completed + 13-15 essays and went beyond the book itself to include the history of In the Country of Men. I remain inconsolable at the moment.
I am aiming for a 40+ and only got 27/30, 19/20 and 19/20. Sooo upset, disappointing result. I remain inconsolable at the moment.VCE is just a gruelling, torturous year of unrequited results. You are going nowhere with these results - it's too late, just give up.
Hi Lauren
I have to write my contect piece on "We find out who we are from the conflict we face"... This prompt is a bit tricky and I'm finding it really hard to come up with ideas for an expository essay.
Could you please help me?
All suggestions welcome :)
Two silly questions:1. That would depend on the feedback. For instance, a lot of the stuff I got last year was for my structure; my topic sentences often lacked focus, and my conclusions were a bit weak, so I knew what I had to do. However, in earlier years I'd also had feedback like: 'you need to work on this paragraph. I'm not "feeling" this paragraph' (to which my sarcastic response at the time was: 'shall I write it in Braille next time?')
1. If you received feedback - how would you handle it? I mean, what would you do to work with your feedback so that next time, you can improve on it? I know you can just 'write more constantly', but I'm trying to work with my feedback so next time I write again I'm aware of what the heck is wrong with my writing.
2. How did you expand on your quality of ideas? What tips would you suggest to expand on the quality of ideas?
Hi Lauren,
I consider English to be my one and only speciality (in life generally) and I did poorly in my text response essay as I am aiming for a 40+ and only got 27/30 when I was receiving 29s in the practice ones. Moreover, I have dropped two marks for Language Analysis and the Speech 19/20 and 19/20, and I know to get 40 you have to be getting 100's and A+'s. Bitterly disappointed, as I feel that my teacher adjusted the marks slightly to keep me motivated. Unfortunately, even if I had done the impossible like yourself and got a 50 study score in English, I would have always been looking for ways I could improve in the future.
Sooo upset. I was wondering if anyone has any advice on dealing with this disappointing result? I created my own chapter summaries, highlighted my novel, read it x 2, completed + 13-15 essays and went beyond the book itself to include the history of In the Country of Men. I remain inconsolable at the moment.
VCE is just a gruelling, torturous year of unrequited results. You are going nowhere with these results - it's too late, just give up.90ATAR's post was obviously in jest, and I know the self-deprication can be somewhat irksome when the people doing it aren't "struggling", but let's not lose perspective here.
Remember to upvote her, people.her was a great film but I'm not sure the technology is so real that it's capable of making an account on AN and posting so that I can upvote it.
Hi Laura,
60ATAR:
Remember to upvote her, people.
I'd say generally an expository essay should aim for a 50:50 ratio between explaining examples and actually talking about the context in an abstract way.
Also - make sure each example is telling us something new; don't use multiple cases to illustrate the same point. This is where deconstructing the prompt can be helpful
do any of them contain opinions or bias? statistics?...that's kind of like asking do any of them contain the letter 'g'
E.g; "A recent spate of vicious dog attacks has left at least one expert calling for a ban on dog breeds known to be aggressive or dangerous".^This immediately sounds like it's pro-banning certain breeds, but maybe it goes on to counter this- I don't know?
Hi,
I only recently realised that teachers find a conclusion that begins with 'To conclude' cringe-worthy, but what about the other typical concluding words such as 'Therefore' 'Hence' 'Thus'.
Should you not use such words to start a conclusion either? But instead just start writing the conclusion without such words at the beginning?
Thanks!
I use 'In essence, ____' for my conclusion starters.
Hey Lauren could you please reply to my email :PWhy don't you copy and paste it?
I've got questions there and I cbf putting it on this forum :)
Valyria:
You can incorporate flashbacks like you would any other evidence. Your discussion doesn't have to be chronological, in fact for structural questions it can be better to jump around and look at many different parts of the text.
I'm not too familiar with Cat's Eye, but yes those vignette-sounding-things could form a nice link, eg: 'Attwood's visual representation of the headless chicken, as seen at the beginning of chapter 2, is dominated by a sense of gore and senselessness. She mirrors this in her writing by emphasising the "hungry bloodlust" of the butcher, as well as having her childish narrator gaze in uncomprehending wonder at the spectacle. Thus this iconography compliments the text's overall ambiance of death and decay... etc.'
Like I said, I'm not too familiar with this one, but you get the idea :)
I may have misinterpreted what you meant by jumping around but shouldn't the body paragraphs for a structure question be based on exposition, incitement etc.? Wouldn't jumping around render the structural ordering of my body paragraphs redundant?What I meant was you don't have to order your evidence chronologically. If you'r looking at a specific character or how an idea unfolds throughout the text, then you can 'jump around' in the sense that your discussion can begin with: 'Atwood's eventual punishment of character X is foreshadowed by an overwhelming sense of unease throughout the text. This is primarily accomplished through the use of __ from the outset, though this reaches its zenith when ___ happens later on. This occurs as a result of X's flashback in which he is reminded of the horrors of his past... etc.'
Hey Rod,Great explanation! Thanks heaps Sparks :)
saw this question and as a bit of a political nut, I'm going to attempt to do this response justice (I'm sure Lauren won't mind ;) ):
Generally accredited to one of the most well known political philosophers of all time - Karl Marx, Marxism is set of philosophical beliefs pertaining to resource allocation, political empowerment and general matters of class equality for citizens in a modernised society.
Karl Marx believed that it was a problem that the METHODS OF PRODUCTION (factories, farms etc.) and the PROFITS of labour were worked for and produced by the average citizen (proletariats) but nearly always ended up in the hands of a small, upper-class elite. Over time this inequality would inevitably lead to a revolution by the working classes and as a result, would eventually lead to a communist society where class was equal and the methods and fruits of production would be shared equally amongst all.
TL;DR - Marxism supports an equal distribution of resources amongst all people, a watered-down version of more radical communism.
“Even a wool merchant has not only to buy cheap and sell dear but also ensure that the wool trade continues unimpeded"I'm assuming this is from Life of Galileo? It sounds familiar... in that context I'd say you should try to link it to Galileo's overall intentions as portrayed by Brecht. From memory he was talking about the study of science at the time and justifying his decision to remain involved in an "academic" community that was largely inhibited by the whims of the Church. It's kind of like how doctors might read medical reviews or journals about a specialist area different to their own; yes, a brain surgeon is primarily concerned with his or her own field, but the progress being made in dermatology or dentistry might interest them too. So Galileo employs the metaphor of a wool merchant who makes a living through trade, but is also a part of a broader movement or discipline, just like how Galileo wants to remain a part of a larger scientific discourse.
"There was bomb. Bomb is bad. Everyone die. Boom"Okay, but this is purely summary. You're writing as though the bomb is real; you have to show an awareness of the fact that everything in the text is a decision made by the author. For example:
Our teacher said a recommended but not a compulsory structure could be...This is teacher code for compulsory.
Comments are below. In the future, you can post this on the submissions board and just send me a PM if you want my input. I'd rather keep this thread for questions and advice only :)SpoilerThe stage drama ‘No Sugar’ set in Northam, Western Australia during the Great Depression in 1929-1934 by Jack Davis, presents indigenous issues in a potent mannerphraseology is weird here. 'Potent manner' doesn't really tell us anything; what issues is the author dealing with, and how? by using inventive staging, themes and characterisation. I realise this was part of the task, but avoid listing wherever possible. It stands out as lazy signposting. Davis juxtaposes theverballanguage used by Nyoongar-Aboriginal families, commonly referred to as Nyoongah in this theatrical production,You can assume your marker has read the text, don't summarise too much and the European Australians' (plural possessive) colloquial language throughconflictualconflicting (both are right but 'conflicting' is the widely accepted form) values of power and cultural identity. ‘No Sugar’ challenges the readers’ values by providing a voice for the Aboriginal people, confronting European Australians with the past, restoring Aboriginal culture and exploring the importance of equality due to the impact of government controls on Australian Indigenous peoples. The issue of power is an indomitable issue which is used as a way to convey its message to the audience. This part reads more like a T.S. for a body paragraph. The sentence before this one was very good; either integrate this line earlier on or just cut it. And try not to repeat a word like 'issue' twice in one sentence when there are plenty of synonyms. Self-editing should pick most of these errors up.
Also, avoid generic phrases like "which is used to convey its message to the audience." Assessors know they're filler, and in the exam you won't have time to pad out an essay because (hopefully) you'll have so much to say and so little time.
The Nyoongah language forms the themes of cultural identity and power to alienate the audience and other characters in the drama to empathise with the Aborigines. “He’s my gnoolya, sir” is an example of Nyoongah language in the play. Sam uses this dialogue in the courtroom scene to answer the Justice of the Peace’s question, however, the Justice of the Peace fails to comprehend Sam’s statement and so too do the audience. This places the audience in a state of temporary confusion until being briefed that “gnoolya” means brother-in-law. The theme of power is manifested as both the reader and other characters do not understand what is taking place. How? This isn't fully explained. This is a reversal of the events the Aborigines had to endure in the sense that when the Europeans colonised Australia, the Aborigines hardly voiced a word of English. Sam later opposes conforming to the Western style of life when he says “Koorawoorung! Noyoohngahs corroboreein’ to a wetjala’s brass band!” The collaboration of “white mans” English and the Aborigines Nyoongah in Sam’s sentence, highlights the theme of cultural identity as the Aborigines have not completely conformed to the western lifestyle, having also kept their cultural heritage. This creates a unique culture of its own towards the audience as the Aborigines have not abandoned their traditional language and culture but have merely incorporated it into the Western style of life.
Aim for greater fluency between paragraphs. At the end, link back to your contention/the prompt, then in the next paragraph start back from the contention and work your way into your next point. eg. ''
Australian’s colloquial language ??? Australian colloquialisms (?) is used to construct the stereotypes of white Australians and also to help shape the theme of power and influence the Aboriginals way of life. Frank’s “No, there’s about ten other blokes” is quote that reveals an informal, laid-back use of language. The fact that he chose to use the word “bloke” instead of man or male constructs a stereotypical character, as bloke is predominately implemented within Australian society and hence reveals a laid-back type of character. Sergeant Carrol also uses colloquial language when he wants to say something of the record and on an intimate level. As the Sergeant uses phrases such as “next time I’ll nail him” and “The last bloke I nabbed for supplying is doing three months hard labour in Fremantle.” He loses his status of power and brings himself to a common hierarchy instead of one of authority. The fact that he uses this language when he wants to speak on a casual basis implies towards the reader, that the use of colloquial language is used to construct a character of equal power and at an informal level, the traits of a stereotypical Australian. This paragraph probably isn't showcasing your ideas in much detail. It's basically just a long-winded way of saying: 'Certain characters employ trademark Australian colloquialisms like "bloke" and "" ' So what? When you're given these sorts of structural essay questions about the use of >something< within the text, you need to do more than just acknowledge that technique is in the text. How is it used to create meaning? Does this language dichotomise, marginalise, or isolate other characters? What does this mean for the audience? Above all else: have a clear contention in response to the prompt about what theses structural features are doing, then refer back to this idea (implicitly or explicitly) throughout your essay to give you direction.
Auber Octavius Neville is the only character in the play that uses conventional language consistently. His use of conventional language shapes his character and forms the theme of power I think the reason this doesn't work is because you start the sentence talking about the character (HIS use of language) and then zoom out and talk about themes and the text as a whole without much transition. It's good to make these links, but try to link them fluently. “My dear Minister, herewith the information requested” is an example of the formal language he uses and creates a sense of detachment towards the audience, thus discouraging the reader to respond directly to authority. Furthermore, Neville displays an arrogant trait phrasing is a bit pedestrian. Maybe 'his propensity for arrogance...' when he says “the proposed budget cut of three thousand one hundred and thirty-four pounds could be met by discontinuing the supply of meat in native rations”, Davis reflects Neville to be an individual who doesn’t care about the people he is affecting but rather wishes to benefit himself and a minority group. The fact that he possess this type of power, reinforces the audiences’ dislike of him as he is supposed to be the Chief Protector of Aborigines, and yet his ‘noble’ actions further disadvantage them. Davis uses colloquial language to shape authority and identity, as well as constructing unsympathetic characters such as A.O. Neville. Why? How? To what effect? Don't let your assessors ask these questions.
Characters such as Topsy and Billy are representations of those Aborigines who do not fight for their rights. These individuals essentially bow down to white authority, Billy who does not speak Nyoongah but mild English, is content to work for the white authorities tracking down members of his own race who escape their clutches. Milly’s response to the Sergeant when he tells her that her conundrum is she has three grown men budging off her, who are too lazy to work, is by asking him “Where they gonna get work?” she asks the Sergeant “Do you want em to work for nothing?” and Gran backs her up by saying “Their not slaves you know Chargent!” This is all summary and doesn't really lead into your next point at all. The staging is also used as an added technique to provide the Aboriginal people with a voice, against the arrogance and superiority of those in authority, such as Sergeant. Davis utilises Topsy and Billy to confront the audience with characters who prefer to stay within their comfort zone, and not challenge white supremacy. Thus, the audience is disinclined to respond towards the passivity of conscience Billy and Topsy ultimately adopt.
Throughout the play, Aboriginals are marginalised as they are told where to go, what to do and how to go about life. The play was staged on a perambulate model, meaning that the action of the play shifts between many locations. Assume your assessors are relatively intelligent; this is quite a common word in academic circles. There is the town of Northam with the Police Station and two Cells, the Main Street and the Government Well Aboriginal Reserve. Further away, there is the Moor River Native Settlement with the Superintendent’s office, the Millimurra family’s tent and the Aboriginal camp at Long Pool. There is also the Chief Protectors Office and the Western Australian Historical Society in Perth and an area by the railway line. This is not necessary!! Again, this may as well be summary. Your paragraphs seem to have this structure of: 1. Topic sentence that overtly states what you're going to talk about. 2. One or two quotes that often aren't integrated, and 3. Actual analysis and commentary (should be more of this) This allows for Davis’ conception of marginalisation between the audience and the play. This can be perceived as an incumbent motivator for the marginalisation that the Europeans forced upon the Aboriginals. <-- this is all good, try to do more of this and don't let the summary or really long quotes clog up your writing. Marginalisation is a major issue that develops throughout ‘No Sugar’, and Davis successfully brings to life this concerning issue, that still applies today throughout modern society.
Davis uses conventional, colloquial and Nyoongah language to shape the themes of power and cultural identity as well as constructing characters both stereotypical and non-stereotypical. These evoke the audiences’ views of equality and challenge our attitudes when it comes to injustice, violence, racism, identity, dispossession, poverty and ultimately family. Plz don't list. It's lazy, assessors hate it, and you can do better. If you must, at least use the rule of threes; eg. 'when it comes to injustice, identity, and equality.' Sounds much neater than a rambly sentence with 6 or 7 themes, some of which you haven't fully explored. Moreover, the inventive use of staging assists the play’s emphasis on promoting the Aboriginals cause for justice and provides Australian Indigenous peoples with a collective voice against the government.
Is anyone going to bring in a dictionary for the English exam? Is it compulsory to bring in a dictionary?It is not compulsory. You'd be silly not to take one. Too bad if all four of your text response prompts had a word in it you didn't know lol. Or if the context prompt had just one word you'd never seen before. Don't use it, it's a waste of time, but if a word is crucial and you don't know it then it's the best use of time you'll ever get in your life.
Honestly find this pointless, but could be a personal thing.
E.g. time-wasting and causes unnecessary stress and takes up room on the desk to disrupt writing patterns.
It is not compulsory. You'd be silly not to take one. Too bad if all four of your text response prompts had a word in it you didn't know lol. Or if the context prompt had just one word you'd never seen before. Don't use it, it's a waste of time, but if a word is crucial and you don't know it then it's the best use of time you'll ever get in your life.
For example:You may be able to write more, but this is all the criteria is asking for; if you can fulfill this basic pattern (and not make it too derivative or repetitive) then you should be able to write with a more clear focus.
The author's vitriolic (tone) attack (1) on the government as evidenced by the epithet "stupid ugly nazis" seeks to denigrate all politicians. Such loaded language elicits strong hatred from his readers (2), particularly given the sensitive nature of the issue (obviously you'd be more specific here). Consequently, -author-'s audience are more likely to reject the government's proposal (3) as "cruel and unfair," thus supporting his contention that we should kill them all etc. etc.
^That's quite a long-winded one, you could do all three in a single sentence:
Likewise the inclusive language in the title "Our Country, Our Rules" inspires a collective, patriotic sense of responsibility, inciting readers to share in the author's view that New Zealanders are evil...
I should probably start using real articles instead of making up psychopathic examples, huh?
Depending on how broad your starting point is (eg. something as big as an appeal to unity, or as specific as a single rhetorical question) you could fit 3 or four of these into an average paragraph.
Clouds of dust particles hung suspended in the air, and with every breath I drew into my lungs it only grew harder and harder to breathe. But I still needed to move. My leg muscles burned with the exertion as I sprinted down the streetjumping over the injured people sprawled across the floor.With the last of their dying strength, bodies of men and women of all agesgasping their last breaths whilst being covered in blood.lay clutching at the thin air, as if they were reaching out...hoping. Hoping that God or some other higher agent would grant them mercy; grant them an extra breath. They were writhing in pain. Blood on their clothes, blood trickling down down down...and faces contorted with expressions so grotesque that I had to look away.TheDead bodies, or what remained of them, were buried under rubble and stonewith either a leg missing or an armThey were missing arms, missing legs and missing heads.. A woman sat on the ground with what was left of her baby in her lap; with a kind of modesty she had covered it with her straw peasant hat. I struggled through the mass ofbodiescorpses,stepping aroundthepuddlespools of blood, and overthe remaininglimbs that had been haphazardly thrown together, all the while trying to find Phuong
"There are characters with redeeming and despicable qualities on both sides of the racial divide. Discuss."The implication here is that one's qualities cannot categorically determine values when it comes to race, and that subscribing to a belief does not preclude one from having either good or bad traits.
I am also scared of writing about concepts which I have not addressed in practice essays...Why? Your teacher is hardly going to judge you for an error in interpretation or expression. I've read a GAT essay in response to an infographic about diamond mining that simply said: 'Diamonds are something I buy for ma bitchez.' I guarantee whatever you've got to say can't possibly be that stupid.
Thanks sooo much Lauren :)
You are such a great person helping those in need !!!
it's a way to encourage you to talk about more than just the text.
They're is a contraction of they are.
There is referring to a place, the same as "here", except there is the opposite of here, so you put a t at the start.
Their is referring to someone else's possession, as in "heir" to the throne gets the throne when their relatives die, so it's their throne.
Hey Lauren I know this isn't really related to English specifically, however I've been needing an answer to this question for ages.Yes, Lit and English require a pretty different skillset in order to score well, though there is a little bit of overlap. One of the biggest differences is, as you've noted, English can be divided into T.R. Context and L.A. whereas most of what you've done in Lit. up until now won't be assessed again. The Close Analysis / Passage Analysis / Close Reading is all you'll be doing on the exam, so that should definitely be your priority when it comes to practice pieces. The work you've done in Alternate V&V or Adaptations and Transformations SACs will help assist in your overall understanding, but you won't actually be asked to focus on those things.
Are literature and English writing Styles different? I mean I know how to practice my writing for English- which is generally through practice essays of text response, context and language analysis, however I have no idea how to practice for lit!
What is the "Goal" of text response essays?Answer the prompt.
Hi Lauren,For Lit: reread now. Reread constantly. It doesn't always have to be a cover-to-cover, experience, but you should definitely familiarise yourself with some major passages or interesting annotation-dense sections. Hopefully you've grasped things plot-wise so full read-throughs will become less-and-less necessary as the year goes on. This doesn't have to be too intensive either, just going through your notes or a brief excerpt before bed/over breakfast/whenever you learn best can be sufficient.
I just posted this on the Lit board, but it also applies to English too. Do you think now is too early to begin re reading texts that I want to study for both the English and the Lit exam? For Lit, I'm planning to write on Capote's In Cold Blood and Kennedy's Dark Roots and for English I think I'll use Stasiland for text response (but its tricky to know because we have only just started The Reluctant Fundamentalist).
Both In Cold Blood and Stasiland are pretty big texts too. Thoughts on starting these re reads now?
So basically you have your contention on the prompt and support with 3 body paragraphs? It has always seemed like some sort of abstract idea to me.
HEY Lauren! I thought I'd ask my question now rather than later since I only found out today LOL..
BUT.. I just found out that we do oral presentations one-to-one rather than in a classroom setting with others in it and for some reason that makes me feel weird since I'm more of a person who speaks in front of crowds rather than to just one person (then it feels like a conversation) since I tend to be interactive in my speeches I guess...
Do you have any tips on doing an oral presentation in front of just one person as oppose to speaking in front of a classroom? Are there any techniques I could learn that I could implement later on for oral presentations?
In your opinion, what makes a text response essay impressive?If the whole thing is clear, concise, and interesting, there's not an assessor on Earth who wouldn't be impressed with you.
What academic articles on your text should you use? Would you recommend the State Library of Victoria? How do you amalgamate the historical context of a text and stylistic features in a text response to comment on the views and values of the author?The State Library is a good database, but Google Scholar is probably your best bet for proper academia. You might have to wade through a bit, and certain texts will have more resources than others, obviously.
thank youNot entirely sure what you're asking, but "society will pay" sounds a bit menacing. Like, Scooby Doo villain "You'll pay for this! And you're little dog too!" type menacing. "Society will suffer the consequences" is much more formal and essay-appropriate. Then again, if this is a slightly creative or hybrid piece then you might be angling for a more persuasive tone of voice, so it's up to you.
just another quick question:
whats a better way of phrasing this?
'.society will pay for the consequences'
'society will suffer the consequences'
or
all hell break loose
In your opinion, what makes a text response essay impressive?I'm desperately trying to avoid saying 'one that fulfills all the criteria,' but as I've said previously, ticking all the boxes is actually quite an achievement. (See earlier posts if you need help identifying/ clarifying these.)
Hey Lauren,Zezima's example of Abbott sounds pretty solid, and contemporary media stories always make good links for a context piece. Be careful with the political angle though. For your SAC you'll be safe so long as your teacher isn't overly partisan (or if (s)he is, you're writing something that caters to this bias) but in the exam you have no idea who you're going to get. There are some fairly safe assumptions you can make, eg. (S)he is against genocide, so I can safely condemn such actions. Party politics is a little trickier, and I usually advice steering well clear of any definitive judgments, even in a persuasive piece.
Do you know any supplementary that involves an individual who doesn't want to change/immerse themselves into their past through escapism from the present day? I'm trying to find supplementary that is complementary with Willy Loman from Death of a Salesman but all I have right now is Gatsby.
Thanks :)
Hi Lauren,Yes you can definitely disagree with the prompt, in fact that's usually a safer bet than blindly agreeing. Most prompts require challenging to some extent, though there are exceptions.
Is it possible for a text response to have four paragraphs and have only one paragraph supporting the prompt with the other three arguing against the prompt. What is your opinion on defining words in the introduction of a text response? Is analysing hendiadys, enjambment and euphemisms/ dysphemisms to deep for an english text response?
Thanks in advance!
what is another way of saying:Try a thesaurus. Otherwise see if you can rephrase the sentence yourself. If alternate words aren't coming to you then you should be expanding your vocab now, but you also need to practice working through these concerns yourself so you don't hit a mental roadblock in the exam.
'dumbing' the population
i need to write it in an academic manner becasue i plan to use this in a formal essay :(
how do i write this:
for so long people thought they deserved it, without stopping to think were they in the right first.
is that correct english: they were in the right? (that part of the statement)
For a long time, people thought that they deserved it without stopping to think that they were in the right first.
In language analysis, if the author (of an article) gives dignity to a person or group, what effect does this have on the reader? (Perception of person/group perhaps?)
Hello Lauren, just wonder in a Text Response,
what's the percentage of time I should allocate on planning the essay?
How detailed should the planning be in order to write the essay fluently?
how do i write this:
for so long people thought they deserved it, without stopping to think were they in the right first.
is that correct english: they were in the right? (that part of the statement)
Hey Lauren :)
Was wondering if you had any tips on how to effectively come up with your own ideas for text response. What I do is I use the study guides as a start point, to locate where I should be looking for ideas. And then I read the important scenes and try and come up with my own ideas using -what,who,where,when,why. It takes me really long and sometimes the ideas that come out aren't even that good.
Thanks!
You're definitely on the right track using study guides/ other resources as a foundation. Rather than who/what/when etc. it might be more helpful to ask questions with more direction. Beginning with 'Does this mean...' 'Is this always the case...' or 'How can I relate this to...' is probably more helpful.It does! Thank you so much :)
'Coming up with ideas' doesn't really happen when you're just stroking your beard philosopher-style; going back to the text should always be your first resort.
Of course it can be difficult to develop ideas in a vacuum (ie. without a prompt to focus on) If you're still at the early stages of working through the text then linking your points to themes will suffice. For example, you might be finding a lot of examples in the text that relate to the concept of identity, class, change etc. Rather than just grouping these together, consider what specifically is being communicated about these themes. Is identity static? How can class boundaries be overcome? Will these changes always have the intended consequences, or can it sometimes be unpredictable?
Once you're able to answer these, you start moving into V&V territory. Prefacing your statements with 'The author suggests identity is a fluid concept...' then turns it into a more complex idea, and you'll already have the evidence to back it up.
Don't be too worried if you're not churning out revolutionary ideas right away (or at all :p) Trying to say something that no one else has ever thought of before is perhaps too extreme a task and may lead to you overreaching and making some tenuous links or claims. Rather, aim to communicate sophisticated, well developed ideas- if you're doing that then you're well and truly fulfilling the criteria. (eg. in the above example, the whole state knows that 'identity' is somehow important, but in terms of actually being able to comment on the core message, only the minority can do that well.)
Hope that helps :)
he said my interpretations were wrong
my interpretations were wrong
interpretations were wrong
interpretations were wrong
thank you zezima!Instead of giving you the answer, I will list you three scenes/things to look up, like Lauren suggested :)
just another quick question:
do the women in ransom show courage?
in a rather patriotic society, they bring men in and out of the world, but where in the text do they show courage? It feels like they don't?
Do you think a conclusion is needed in a comparative language analysis between two articles? if so what can i include, i 'literally' (see what i did their ;) ) have no idea!!
Thanks
walkec:
I'll address these two issues separately, since effective study and maintaining self-confidence require different skillsets to deal with.
It can be really frustrating when you feel like your effort:results ratio is out of balance. When you say you've been working hard in English, what exactly does that mean for you? Perhaps there's been too much practice essay drilling and not enough exploring the texts/ideas? Or maybe you've been doing so many class activites on themes and workbook questions that you haven't had the chance to actually implement your knowledge?
What most of this comes down to though, is identifying where you're losing marks. At this stage of the year, it's crucial to know your weak spots, so go through your teacher's comments (if they're helpful) otherwise post some stuff on the Submissions thread for some alternate input. Let's assume you're getting 8/10 on your essays; there's a hell of a lot of different ways to lose 2 marks. A few of your ideas might be sketchy, your expression could be all over the place, etc. If you're making the same mistakes over an over again, then it might be more of a chore trying to fix an ingrained habit.
With regards to quelling the doubt-monster, positive thinking never goes astray. Some perspective can be useful to (English is notorious for messing with the marking system; a 40/50 sounds scarier than 8/10 :P) Also, numerical scores are often the best way to freak yourself out. Don't get me wrong, the feedback is important, but obsessing over numbers can get to your head. Instead, concentrate on what you got wrong, qualitatively speaking, ie. 'oh no, I had a wonky contention' as opposed to 'oh no, I lost 10 marks.'
Be aware that your abilities are constantly developing, unlike some subjects where you either know something or you don't, English relies more so on your capacity to continually better your understanding throughout the year.
So yeah, being aware of where you're at without stressing about it is the main thing. If you need help rationalising your approach or interpreting the feedback I'm happy to help with that too :)
Hi Lauren,
How do you avoid talking about one character in your topic sentences for T.R?
Hi Lauren,
How do you avoid talking about one character in your topic sentences for T.R?
Stupid question, but will not referring directly to a quote that forms part of a prompt but referring to the moment/sentiment it conveys lose me many marks in an essay? Just did my last English SAC, and I think I managed a relatively complex discussion of the prompt, but forgot to put the quote from the prompt in and now am worried... But I did talk about the moment the quote was from, so maybe not all is lost?
Hi Lauren,
I have my SAC for The Reluctant Fundamentalist and this week it has become apparent that my weakness is opening paragraphs. What do you advise on doing/not doing in an opening paragraph?
Also, friendly reminder that I've finally updated this thread and turned the first post into a proper directory.
Link in my sig if you need :)
hey lauren,
is it better to prepare both text response texts for the exam, or just stick with one?
i'm more familiar with war poems and i feel like i'd be able to write a better essay on it (particularly cos mabo is a pretty simple text). is it worth devoting less time to old wilfy and spending some time on mabo just in case i end up with some really nasty prompts, or should i just ignore mabo and try my best to prepare for anything they could possibly throw?
trying to work out how i should ration out my time with the exam coming up haha
thanks heaps!
I would highly highly recommend choosing one beforehand. You'll be wasting a lot of time studying for two texts if you know you won't be using one of them. In the end, you'll be preparing to such an extent that they won't be able to throw anything unmanageable at you; even the nasty prompts can be molded to suit your knowledge of the text. Also, if they are scary-looking, the whole state will be in the same boat trying to untangle the question, so preparing adequately beforehand can give you a huge advantage. To me, studying two just seems futile, so in most circumstances, streamlining your study will make everything a lot less strenuous.
I agree Mabo is a fairly surface-level text, though it can be made complex in your analysis. But having read your Wilfred Owen work I think that's definitely your strength.
Re: time rationing, I should be finished with the end-of-year-study-suggestions-guide-thing by tomorrow. I'll put a link to that below too. But the tl;dr version is basically know what you need to work on. I'll explain how to know and what do do once you know later :)
Hey Lauren
And just expanding on Paulrus's question, is t better to write on a book that has been out for the past 3-4 years like A Christmas Carol or risk writing an essay on some of newer novels this year? I'm not quite sure as I heard this years questions of ACC will be really difficult due to it being its final year. Thanks
thank you so much zezima!That's ok!! I have a trial exam on this tomorrow, so it's really good practice, lol :P
your help is alot of help to me. I really appreciate it.
with your questions, how is the womb related to courage? I'm sorry i got te other questions but have no idea about that one?
and you know how you said malouf focuses on the common humanity? how does he do that through storytelling?
thank you so much!
"With the rise of Berlin Wall, the Stasi regime attained supremacy through communist ideals in East Germany. The consequential effects on its victims were so profound, they are still dealing with ramifications today..."seems a little too broad. Unless you're actually addressing the historical background for a good reason, I'd try to keep closer to the text.
"In her non-fiction narrative Stasiland, Anna Funder endeavours to expose the profound tragedies behind the Wall..."This is a much better example. I'm aware that different teachers/tutors might prefer more context, but to me the broader sentences stick out as a bit rote-learned and irrelevant, whereas this second example seems like it's actually starting to engage with the prompt.
Lauren, how would I utilise the writer's choice of audience and integrate that choice in my language analysis, to develop a stronger analysis of the piece? My teacher urges me to consider the audience and how it affects the language choices / overall tone and structure of pieces, as failing to recognise this is stopping me from getting the high 9's-10s in my practise analyses.Let's say there was an article on the advantages of skipping school :p If you were writing this article, you might be appealing to schoolchildren through colloquial language, common ground and encouraging independence, but if you were appealing to adults, you'd talk about the logical benefits or their duty as parents. Sometimes certain techniques are only relevant to a specific audience, therefore covering everybody with the one blanket term (audience/readers/viewers) can be a bit limiting. Not all readers will react the same way; perhaps the author is establishing a dichotomy between those who agree students are entitled to skip school, and those who think it should be a crime. The author can simultaneously praise institutions that allow optional attendance, and degrade those who dissent. So in your analysis you might write: 'This technique of ___ is particularly influential for an audience of parents who are more likely to feel a sense of parental obligation to do what's best for their child and give them the respite they need. On the other hand, younger members of the audience are encouraged to feel...'
I'm planning on completing section C on the exam first, as I'll be using the 15 minutes of reading time strictly for reading the section C piece. What do you recommend doing in that time? Also, in regards to language analysis, did you synthesise some sort of plan prior to writing?
Scofield:
Not always one article and a visual ... and it may appear in a different form than u think - e.g. 2011: blog + comments from general public
for context, is it okay to use a book from a previous study design as an external example (of course, keeping focus on the main text)?
What is a good persona to adopt for a speech for context? I'm thinking a year 12 student conducting an oral presentation, but that's so cheesy... any ideas? I'm doing the context of Whose Reality? and drawing ideas from The Lot: In Words.
I was just wondering should I just know my texts for content/text well enough to apply to any prompt on the spot, or should I be practicing memorising ideas that are possibly applicable to the exam? With all my SACS I've had 6 prompts and 1 or 2 would be on it, so I've gone in memorising ideas for a few for the last few ones definitely knowing what would be on it.
EDIT: Totally forgot one massive thing I wanted to ask about. With my essays I usually write a lot, and sometimes my first body paragraph can be as long as three pages, writing for 30 or so minutes. As I'm doing Wilfred Owen, we have been told that if we want to show evidence alongside our key ideas, we should name the poem and analyse that poem, rather than quoting from multiple poems so we can get down to the real grit of the poem. What I was wondering was, would it be OK for me to do three paragraphs of what I'm expected to do with deep analysis of poems, and then another poem focusing solely on ideas, quoting singularly without naming the poems these single quotes come from to show Owen's POV on a larger scale or something? Thanks!
Fantasies can be used as a collective term to describe a person trying to escape their own reality y changing their identity. Avoid definitions, they're clunky and often unnecessary. A fantasy enables humans to live out their greatest desires and momentarily change their reality. These great desires are usuallyenrooted in the personality of the individual from a young age, and are often on the forefront of impossible ambitions that a person wants. As a result, a fantasy is so powerful and surreal that a fantasy can outlive a persons reality. Most people want to eject from a reality to enter into a timeless utopian destination. Consequently, fantasies can be a truer representation of a person’s character and can reveal their aim of life.
Aim for a smoother transition between paragraphs; these ideas don't really flow into one another.
While fantasies can bring momentary happiness to a person’s life, there is no escape from their true reality. In American Beauty, Lestern Burnham perfectly encapsulates a person trying to escape his life. Lester is a ‘whore for the advertising industry’ who has ‘a wife and daughter who hate me,’ and his level of happiness is almost non-existent. Lester has been battling the burden of upholding a positive appearance when his reality behind closed doors is nothing farther from the truth. That is until Lester decides to do ‘what [he] wants, whenever [he] wants’. Lester aimed to air his dirty laundry by quitting his job in which he detailed his job description as ‘once a day retiring to the men’s room to jerk off and fantasize about a life that doesn’t so closely resemble hell,’ and attempts to reveal the truth to the world about his marriage, stating that ‘our marriage is just for show. A commercial…’ When Lester was faced with the decision to follow societies rules, or stick by his own set of personal ideals and face the consequences, he chose the latter. Lester filled out a job application at ‘Mr Smiley’s’ for a job ‘with the least amount of responsibility possible,’ to relive his reminiscent years of ‘flipping burgers, parties and sex,’ and instigated an illegal affair with a teenage girl. The affair truly provided light on the difference between people’s perception in life. Lester Burnham, a grown man, believes this girl, Angela, is the ‘most beautiful person [he’s] ever seen.’ Whilst this idea is built on the basis of a fabricated reality, Ricky Fitt’s believes Angela is ‘ugly’ and ‘totally ordinary.’ Angela believes her self-worth comes from her sexual appeal who believes ‘there is nothing worse than being ordinary,’ but Ricky tells Angela she’s ordinary and ‘she knows it.’ Angela has put on the appearance of being a sexed up, teenage girl, purely to live out a fantasy and escape her true identity of boredom. But Lester’s reality exposes that his perception puts Angela on a pedestal, stating that ‘[you] couldn’t be ordinary even if you tried].’ This is all summary. The links might be clear to you, but if you want to use this text you have to examine it through the lens of Whose Reality, not just treating it as though it's a Text Response task. Also, there's no real need to be quoting; only a few of these examples have any bearing on the context; most of them are just summing up the plot. Context is all about the general ideas, and although the little details can be helpful in propping up your argument, you need to be zooming out and looking at the bigger picture, especially at the end of your paragraphs.
Hi Lauren,Nah I was like that in Year 10/11 and believe me it doesn't pay off at all.
Do we receive extra marks for only analysing esoteric techniques in language analysis? For example, is it okay to omit techniques like inclusive language, adjectives and alliteration for less common ones like hendidays, juxtapositions, polysendeton and hyperbole?Are examiners generally more impressed by rare techniques?
Hi Lauren and anyone else who is willing to assist,
Do you recommend following the English Exam in chronological order (Text Response, Context, L. Analysis)?
I haven't really sorted out my preferences, so I am willing to listen to suggestions. At the moment, I am slightly favouring the chronological procedure.
Hi Lauren,
Do we receive extra marks for only analysing esoteric techniques in language analysis? For example, is it okay to omit techniques like inclusive language, adjectives and alliteration for less common ones like hendidays, juxtapositions, polysendeton and hyperbole?Are examiners generally more impressed by rare techniques?
Hi Lauren and anyone else who is willing to assist,
Do you recommend following the English Exam in chronological order (Text Response, Context, L. Analysis)?
I haven't really sorted out my preferences, so I am willing to listen to suggestions. At the moment, I am slightly favouring the chronological procedure.
...However, for anyone who's looked at the 2013 exam, you'll know the Conflict prompt was a little bit... weird. It could be broken into something more manageable, but it freaked me out when I saw it, so I ended up tackling that one first because it was more of a chore. About two paragraphs in I realised how simple the core of the prompt was, and from then on it became a fairly easy write, so I spent a lot of that time on autopilot whilst brainstorming for my T.R. essay...
Hi Lauren,Better questions would be:
How do you turn historical examples which are commonplace into sophisticated discussion?Are rare examples more conducive to sophisticated discussions? Also my teacher says that all the four contexts may be examined in a single context essay;how can this be accomplished?
Hi Lauren,
How do you turn historical examples which are commonplace into sophisticated discussion?Are rare examples more conducive to sophisticated discussions? Also my teacher says that all the four contexts may be examined in a single context essay;how can this be accomplished?
It was clear that many teachers emphasise tone. While understanding the tone of a piece and the potential for it shifting as a piece unfolds shows insight into the piece, it is still only one small aspect of analysis. Students should be thoughtful about how they describe the tone, and should not simply pluck words from a memorised list.I would say your approach of not commenting on tone unless it's relevant is a much more appropriate one; however, it's still important to give those picky assessors opportunity to give you marks, so if you fine the piece isn't overly emphatic or vitriolic, just comment on a few instances here and there in order to make the (arbitrary) quota.
This is code for 'has understood the task and done what you're supposed to do properly.' The 'range of ways' emphasises the importance of breadth in analysis, but 'perceptive and sophisticated' discussion can only happen when you allow yourself enough depth, so balance is important. I'd say try and go outside the boundaries if you're only dealing with 'safe' language, or the most obvious techniques. Whilst esoteric stuff isn't enough to earn you marks on its own, it can be enough to bump you up higher if you're doing everything else well. And although the assessors are reading hundreds of essays all based on the same material, if you look hard enough, chances are you'll find something that few other people have considered. Don't stress if this doesn't happen immediately, but try and look at things from another perspective in order to secure a higher mark.
- Shows a perceptive and sophisticated understanding of a range of ways in which the written and
visual language positions readers in the context presented.
Translation: 'student can do English good.' This is as much about metalanguage as it is about general sentence expression. If anything, probably more the latter; vocab enhances a piece, but syntax is the bread-and-butter. If your sentences are messy and unworkable then you won't be able to get credit for whatever analysis you've done. If you're only making small mistakes here and there, it's not a big deal and the assessors are quite forgiving of your writing quality under test-conditions, but you don't want to risk annoying them, so keep an eye out for your common pitfalls (eg. run-on sentences, wrong conjunctions, etc.)
- Develops a cogent, controlled and well-substantiated analysis using precise and effective language
and expression.
What ways do you think is the best ways in which to utilize your teachersGetting feedback will be your primary concern, though this will depend on the quality of your teacher's marking. Some just give you a score and some brief comments, others highlight your essay extensively looking for anything you can fix. Either way, there is definitely something to be learned from someone else reading your work.
What is the best way to prepare for the context part of the exam? For conflict?Philosophyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Other than having a bank of good textual moments to draw upon?
What is the best way to prepare for the context part of the exam? For conflict?
Other than having a bank of good textual moments to draw upon?
For language analysis, do you recommend going through and possibly rote-learning a few of the intended effects for persuasive techniques which do not actually relate to an actual analysis of an article? Or, is it more centred around the article, in terms of the intended effect for the reader? Can another term be used instead of the 'reader', or is this a commonly accepted convention?You should 'memorise' them in the sense that you should understand what the techniques do, generally. But when it comes to writing the actual analysis, it always pays to be more specific. Sentences like 'The author's use of rhetorical questioning prompts readers to reexamine their own beliefs regarding the issue, and thus be more susceptible to the author's contention' are basically worthless. Spitting out definitions won't earn you much, but commenting on how it affects certain readers is definitely preferable. (Background info is especially important here, don't just reference it in the intro and leave it alone. If it's a presentation to a bunch of scientists at a professional conference as opposed to a collection of housewives at bookclub, how are the techniques going to be different?)
Also, yang_dong,
That interpretation might be alright for a couple of lines, but you don't want a major argument in your essay hinging on the fact that gossiping is 'girly' :p
A good tip for Ransom: consider what happens in the absence of women --> violence, carnage, war etc.
There's a helpful sheet here
Can't believe Malouf got away with that book...
I have enough troubles with translations of the Iliad...but Ransom is just an unoriginal and BAD/unpoetic retelling of Homer.
Why not just put the Iliad on the VCE English curriculum? That would be AWESOME!
:)
Better yet, just make everyone write essays in Ancient Greek!
inb4 VCAA actually issues that as a challenge
I have seen some rather cruel Ransom prompts about the interpretive choices and creative licence Malouf took with his retelling which, whilst prompting some strongly-worded responses from the lit. nerds, would actually be near impossible for the majority of the state who haven't read The Iliad.
But I agree, if I were in charge the whole text list would be nothing but classics, and generations of year 12s would be furiously burning me in effigy for years ;D
;) Bring on the cruel prompts!
Other texts I want to see on the curriculum: War and Peace (lol have fun reading all 1200 pages!), The Good Soldier (dat unreliable narrator...), and...Narnia? (I don't know, judging from some of the present texts Narnia would be a step up in terms of intellectual level!)
Narnia...it would actually have enough 'profound' themes for discussion too. Like all the semi-Manicheistic imagery, the idea of virtue, the internal religious 'quest', the metaphysical vs physical world. Then there's all the historical context of War back in England. Omg! It would a great text.
And Aslan of course, the christ-like-resurrected-entity. And the symbolism of the lion-like soul.
Hi Lauren,Yes, definitely.
If a text response prompt has a quote as part of the question, is it compulsory to mention it in the essay?
Was wondering if you had any good recourses for Wuthering Heights?
Thanks
Hey Lauren,
I was wondering if it would be useful to take Literature with English?
Do the two subjects ever overlap? Or would taking two English subjects be too confusing (so is it easy to mistake the writing style of one subject with the writing style for the other)?
Thank you in advance!
I struggle with context because I can never seem to find substantial arguments or really just conceptualise the prompt. I'm fine with text response and LA because the ideas raised are more obvious, but context is just too vague for my liking. Every time I write a context piece, my ideas either diverge too much from the prompt or they're too boring. I'm struggling to find inspiration, I suppose. Articulation of ideas just doesn't come naturally for context :-\ It's frustrating because my other two pieces are normally fairly apt too! My writing style is analytical and cynical, so I prefer expository or persuasive pieces. I find writing persuasively more refreshing, but I just lack the ideas... I don't understand how I can be so incompetent in one style! I really want to tie historical examples into my piece, but I'm not sure how to coherently get examples of medieval prejudice to relate to 1950s western society! Also, is referencing Disney okay? Thank you :)You can be relatively analytical in context, you just have to find way to do what suits you while still fulfilling the criteria. The somewhat sloppy analogy I've been using recently is that each paragraph is like an upside down McDonald's 'M.' Or any upside down M for that matter... or a W...
This is really for anyone doing The Lot: In Words for context, but does anyone know of any articles that delves into the concept of fantasy in the book? I can't seem to find out and I'm trying to write a fantasy piece, it's driving me insane.There's a cool article from Leunig here if you just need a starting point to launch into a wider discussion of fantasy. Otherwise, you might just have to latch onto an idea in the text and construct your own fantasy around it, making connections as you go.
I'm really terrible at Language Analysis and haven't really started studying it because I don't know where to start. I read your explanation but I'm just don't have the apt for it.Go through the L.A. links at the start of this thread, there are a variety of breakdowns in response to questions asked previously.
Do you have 3-4 paragraphs which are surrounding 3-4 ideas. You are identifying what techniques have been used by the author in attempting to persuade the audience about the issue, and whether it is calling for a change in behaviour on the readers behalf? Then if there is more than one text, you contrast the ideas among the different texts and saying how each is attempting to persuade the audience. Is that about it?
I was wondering if it would be useful to take Literature with English?In my experience, Lit helps with English, but it doesn't work the other way. There's a much higher standard required in Lit. and the way you analyse passages is a hell of a lot more detailed than a standard language analysis. It's fairly easy to keep the styles separate since the essay formats are pretty different. If you're in Year 10 at the moment then I would strongly advise picking up Lit because the new English course (class of '16 and beyond) is much closer to the current Lit. design than the current English one.
Do the two subjects ever overlap? Or would taking two English subjects be too confusing (so is it easy to mistake the writing style of one subject with the writing style for the other)?
what's that word that sort says: the bad times in life? learn to live on?
like it is inevitable in life to experience these bad times, but we just have to learn to live on?
thank you
Hi Lauren,
I'm really terrible at Language Analysis and haven't really started studying it because I don't know where to start. I read your explanation but I'm just don't have the apt for it.
Do you have 3-4 paragraphs which are surrounding 3-4 ideas. You are identifying what techniques have been used by the author in attempting to persuade the audience about the issue, and whether it is calling for a change in behaviour on the readers behalf? Then if there is more than one text, you contrast the ideas among the different texts and saying how each is attempting to persuade the audience. Is that about it?
“The male characters in Harwood’s poetry embody all the attributes that Harwood finds contemptible”
Gwen Harwood, one of Australia’s finest poets,This is probably not the best way to add an element of the author's historical background into the introduction. Instead, it may be more prudent to consider societal zeitgeists and whether the text acts as a social commentary. Consider if the poetry is a commentary about the subservience of woman. delves into a range of subjects as she experiments with voice and play of language which is often underpinned with satirical wit.It is good that you are providing information pertaining to the language style of the poetry. :) Harwood castigates both genders through her poetry as she believes they are both equally responsible for the deplorable aspects of modern day society You may want to be more specific and more concise. However, despite the strong feministic core of her poetry, Harwood recognises that men exemplify attributes that she herself advocates.It is good that you are challenging the topic and acknowledging that the author's view of society is multifaceted. Despite such intentions, it can be seen that Harwood collates a critical response in regard to the chasm that divides the worlds of men and women, with her sympathies resting with the female population.
I don't believe your thesis statement answers the question. The thesis is rather off-topic. To sum up. I recommend providing historical background in your first sentence. You should attempt to make the historical information augment your contention. Merely stating that the author is a fine poet is extraneous and does not add anything to your argument. Moreover, you may also want to 'step up' your vocabulary in order to acquire the higher marks. You may want to include text specific words like:chauvinism, patriarchal zeitgeist and libreto. I think my biggest concern is the relevance to the prompt. While talking about the 'chasm that divides the worlds of men and woman' is interesting it is not pertinent to the prompt and your assessor will definitely take issue with it. Despite these shortcomings your introduction is well written and your acknowledgement of the text as a construct will heighten your marks. :)
Disclaimer= I am not Lauren, so take everything I say with a grain of salt.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, LAUREN! ;D
Just a query: an assessor has recommended that I always aim to write four paragraphs instead of three for my essays. However, for context especially, I struggle to complete four because I simply just run out of time. How essential do you think it is to write four paragraphs instead of three? Do you have any tips for trying to write four within an hour? Thanks again! :)
Hey LaurenHi Darklight,
How should we go about analysing tones? I tend to just state "X utilises a Y tone" but I'm unsure as to how to articulate the effect on the reader as such. Any tips?
Heyy Lauren :)Hi Rishi97,
In Language analysis, is it necessary to talk about an image in the introduction?
Thank you
How many times (and this varies from one piece to another) would you mention tone fluctuations in a language analysis? ThanksNo more than twice I should think, unless it's a piece with quote a few key shifts. So long as you aren't making a big deal out of it every time (ie. two or three lines devoted to tone) you don't have to do it often. On the other hand, you don't want to just be superficially cramming it into every sentence, so do so in moderation. Generally when the tone and the techniques align (ie. vitriolic tone coupled with an attack on poor role models) then you can comment on the combined effect, and that should be sufficient.
Would you suggest doing a conclusion for language analysis and if so how does one create one?
Also if you don't do a conclusion would thescary mean markersVCAA take off marks? Look down on it?
From the outset, Voxi philosophically undermines those who do not accept digital technology and are “dislodged” from their comfort zone. Here, Voxi establishes a “polarise[d]”I recommend omitting polorised as dichotomy is sufficient :) dichotomy in his readers, separating the “gritty people” from the “losers”.You can mention the connotations associated with these quotes. Making this juxtaposition, Voxi praises the “grits” as ambitious and successful individuals who are able to “produce pearls”, as opposed to “afraid” and unexciting people. Consequently, Voxi depicts such generic individuals as stone-age “homo habilis” who “huddl[e] in caves”, not accepting revolutionary improvements.Consider the notion of Voxi depicting thses individuals as anachronistic. This notion, employed by Voxi, is apt to draw younger readers onside as they would abstain from such negative connotations of “old” and unintelligent behaviour associated with humans’ predecessors.This is slightly awkward expression. Subsequently, Voxi inclines his readers to embrace the potential of the digital age to “become…more intelligent, faster than evolution alone allows”. To downplay insecurities and revoke fear in his readers, Voxi incorporates a rhetorical question “What’s to be afraid of?” Grounded on previous positive beliefs that technology “enhances our lives” with the “potential it offers”, the rhetorical questionI recommend incorporating techniques as adjectives is intended to remove apprehension, and instead, prompts young readers to reap its benefits to further evolve as “human beings”. Proposing such evolution will lead to “end[] [of] war and violence” and achieving “happy,…fulfilling lives”, Voxi illustrates a utopianreplace with idyllic future favourable for man-kind, which is likely to resonate with ambitious, peace-seeking individuals. Thus, young readers would feel inclined to accept digital technology as its world-changing advantages are in their own hands.
Your use of vocabulary is impressive and you analyse the effect on the reader in a most impressive way. However, you could expand on the child-adult dichotomy mentioned by the writer.It is also refreshing to see that you don't depend on formulaic responses. :)
hey lauren is this a good thing to do?
In my opinion, there are five areas This is way too reductive, there are plenty more, and you could never come up with a conclusive, number that was anywhere near single-digits for whose reality prompts
these are:
Illusion Self-delusion? Effective/ineffective illusions? Reasons for and consequences of illusions? The forms these illusions can take? What makes illusions different from / better or worse than / more or less stable than reality? How these illusions manifest themselves? The possibility of multiple illusions and the concurrent consequences of this?
The list goes on, and I could do this for all of your categories.
Any and all of these ideas are examinable, and unless your "perfect" piece covers everything, there's no way you could apply the same ideas to suit a vastly different prompt.
Subjectivity vs Objectivity
Conflict
Memory
Conformity
What about combinations of these categories? eg. 'Conforming to other people's realities invariably causes conflict.' Which piece are you going to use then? If you've memorised both and attempt to combine them on the spot, it'll probably get messy and disconnected.
Im planning to write and perfect Okay, here's my biggest issue. Perfecting a context piece is possible. But all your perfecting is that one piece. For one prompt. Just because an essay you wrote scored a 10, that's no guarantee you'd be able to replicate and appropriate that for another topic. Rather than thinking about things in terms of 'this is an essay about illusions' or 'this paragraph is about consequences' try and organise your ideas in complete sentences that are more like contentions than over-simplified themes, eg. 'this is an essay about why we feel the need to create illusions in order to cope with the difficulties of reality' and 'this is a paragraph explaining the ramifications of these two worlds colliding, and why mutual exclusive realities are so dangerous, both for individuals and those around them.' a persuasive piece on each of these areas, and just memorise all 5 pieces. and obviously in the exam ill just change them up a bit given the amount of time you'll have to spend practicing this, don't you think there's more effective ways of studying? to suit the prompt we get..
Let's just take two random prompts on that one group: illusion...
a) The way we perceive reality is always some form of subjective illusion.
b) Our illusions are more damaging to those around us than ourselves.
Think about how vastly different your approach should be for both of those topics. They've both got the word 'illusion' in them, but they're far from similar, and a 10/10 piece for (a) which contends that, eg. 'our perceptions are always subjective, but that doesn't make them illusions' would be totally invalid and irrelevant for (b.)
is this a wise thing to do?
tl;dr: Nope.
I've made no secret about my opinions regarding memorisation for Section B. I'm not a fan and I think it's the quickest way to stunt your though processes and relying on what may have worked before.
That said, you can of course have familiar arguments and examples; you'd be stupid not to. But some things to watch out for:
When you see a prompt with one of those trigger words, or something that can be easily categorised, don't go straight for the memorised piece. Brainstorm the prompt like normal; the rote-learned stuff can be adapted effectively, but attempts to simply regurgitate stuff are usually unsuccessful.
Also, what about prompts that don't conform to these groups? eg. 'Our reality is always changing.' or ‘We can evade reality but we cannot avoid the consequences of doing so.' There are countless examples (these were just ones I found online, that's not including the ones I could create) that wouldn't neatly fit your categorisation, and so you should get used to active thought under pressure rather than obsessing over which ideas you're going to reapply.
I'm not saying the piece you write in the exam should be full of totally untested ideas you just came up with on the spot, but, to correct some misconceptions:
Apologies if this is a little acerbic, but rote-learning is a particular pet peeve of mine and I wouldn't want you to set yourself up for such an obvious pitfall.
Hello Lauren,
Whats another way of saying that 'family is of upmost importance?'
Lauren's advice would be against memorising a piece. Not only has she stated her stance against this a few times, but there's also some issues with your suggestion.In terms of planning, i meant during the exam, the 5-10 minutes of planning, i am able to get my paragraph ideas but struggle to write the piece.
1. If the prompt is not what you are expecting, then planning a piece would actually be the worst thing you could do. You'd plan a piece for a prompt that you were expecting (by definition of things that you 'are not expecting') and thus, if a prompt came up that you weren't expecting, you would be in an even worse position than normal.
2. If you don't know the technique of adapting to the prompt, then you're in a spot of bother when the prompt doesn't come out as exactly the same as the one your wrote on (which it most certainly won't). Truth me told - there's no technique of adapting the piece. If anyone had this 'technique', they would actually just be writing a normal piece within the shell of something that had been memorised :P.
The questions you should be asking are probably more centred around how you can get better at writing on the spot and what your specific troubles with that are! That's a better place to start! :)
Good luck, happy studies, and enjoy the rest of your night! :)
Hi Walkec,
You teacher is absolutely correct; signposting your points is not necessary and may be overly formulaic. Assessors prefer original ways of constructing an introduction; this may include historical context, an elucidation of the prompt and including provocative challenges to it. The introduction is for capturing the examiner's eye and therefore, you must be unique. Similarly, for conclusions I recommend making a general comment about historical context, different audience interpretations or something about authorial construction. Conversely, some picky assessors will prefer the 'normal' method. I am doing Lit and I never had an English style conclusion or introduction. Signposting and repeating ideas may also appear tautologous and unoriginal. However, it may be prudent to include the mundane signposting of points in order to appease the fussy assessors.
hey lauren,You can score well and write less compared to the other sections. This is evident when you look at high scoring responses with ~700 words. It's all about how well you analyse, and they recognise you can't analyse everything. So just do your best champ :)
is it true that the word count of lang analysis doesn't necessarily need to be as high as the other sections, so it's possible to spend less time on it? i've heard that because the criteria is just based on quality of analysis and writing, and not displaying knowledge of themes/texts, you're able to display that in a smaller amount of words and don't need to write as much to get the top marks.
cos if so that'd be a great boost for me in terms of time constraints (i hate writing under a time limit so much jesus christ) but i dunno if it's actually legit
thanks heaps! ;D
Often it makes up a third, or even half of the prompt. You don't have to keep refering back to it in the same way as you would a regular question/statement based prompt, but the assessors have chosen that excerpt for a reason; try to use it to inform your discussion.
In terms of direct analysis, mentioning it in the first paragraph or two would be ideal, so that it doesn't feel tacked on at the end.
Hey Lauren, is it advisable to leave an empty line after each line for English?
Do assessors get annoyed because it's all spread out and stuff? Because I tend to edit my pieces and I find leaving an empty line easier.
Also, do they actually read your plan? Cuz I tend to scribble random crap on it like "write about Hal 4 bp 2" Does this leave a bad impression?
Thanks!
Hey lads,
Do we need to underline the name of the article or speech in language analysis?
And if it is at a forum or convention, and we are given its name, do we need to underline it?
Hi Lauren.
I will be going into 3/4 English next year as a year 11 and do not want to repeat English as this is the last year with the old study design.
i really want to get a high score in English as i don't like the new study design.
What do you think are the best ways to study for English and achieve the maximum score possible.
When do you recommend reading your English texts and start writing essays.
I have identified my weakest section as context and we will be doing identity and belonging next year.How can i improve on this.
What else do you think is best preparation for English 3/4 and also how do you reckon i can best maximize my chance at doing well in the subject.
Thanks
Read. A lot.
100+N-N...Not ACTUALLY 100+ though...
N-N...Not ACTUALLY 100+ though...
Right?
For any sections we are required to shade on the exam, do we use pencil or pen?
Where on the booklet do we nominate our key text for section B Lauren??http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/exams/english/2014/english%202014_answerbook.pdf
stupidest question ever - stress is getting to me please humour me
This question has probably already been answered... so sorry in advance!
If in Section C there is a comments section, how do we integrate that into our piece??
Do we mention them in the introduction or just devote 1 body paragraph to them or interweave them into our piece another way?
Thanks
anna.xo
Treat the comments as separate texts with their own author, contention, and attempts to persuade the audience. I have never seen a task that had comments that were deliberately included by the author as a means of furthering their own contention.
Macquaries are the best, you'll be fine. VCAA don't usually try and stump you anyway, and 44,000 words should cover everything :)My ego is overinflated before my English exam - mine has 140,000 definition word thingos. hehehe. so jealous this bad boy takes like ten minutes to find a word
Should we write the topic we have selected or just shade the box?
You shade the boxes, we have to do enough writing as it is :P
Was 2011 language analysis supposed to be comparative ? I am so worried if it turns out to be ! Please someone advise before I kill myself :'(It's not supposed to be anything. Comparative isn't on the criteria sheet. The comments were there and probably should have been addressed. If they weren't addressed, at least some part of the task wasn't hit as adequately as it could have been. If they were addressed but weren't directly compared with the main body of language then... oh well.
It's not supposed to be anything. Comparative isn't on the criteria sheet. The comments were there and probably should have been addressed. If they weren't addressed, at least some part of the task wasn't hit as adequately as it could have been. If they were addressed but weren't directly compared with the main body of language then... oh well.Thankyou very much ! Because currently I am using them to show how its supportive of author's contention..basically like a technique. Is this okay to do ?
(Also, if people could refrain from the above unless it's a legitimate cry for help, that would be good).
Thankyou very much ! Because currently I am using them to show how its supportive of author's contention..basically like a technique. Is this okay to do ?
And apologies for the theatrics, won't happen again :)
Hmmm.. You can do it, but it's not necessarily the best... I mean - what if the comments disagree with the author's contention? It's best to talk about the comments like a piece on their own - and if they agree with the author's contention, then you could talk about how the language reinforces the author's contention, but if not, then you just talk about how the author of the comment uses language to persuade a target audience AGAINST an author's contention.Then I only use the one that supports it. And if none of them do, then I ignore them.
No worries :)
Hmmm.. You can do it, but it's not necessarily the best... I mean - what if the comments disagree with the author's contention? It's best to talk about the comments like a piece on their own - and if they agree with the author's contention, then you could talk about how the language reinforces the author's contention, but if not, then you just talk about how the author of the comment uses language to persuade a target audience AGAINST an author's contention.wait
No worries :)
waitIt wouldn't even need to be about the structure of the main text.
so we can comment on the persuasive devices used by the author of the comments if they disagree with the author of the main text??? cool.
also,
if the text response question is a 'how' question, does ALL the evidence need to be about the structure of the text? or can it just be the majority?
"How does Author X exemplify the importance of Value X"^what he said.
-Through the characterisation of their protagonist
-Through X type depiction of society
-Through structure.
ergh, sorry, I have about twelve dozen tabs open which is perhaps not the best way of going about things. Typed this up but forgot to post :-\Oh just going on what you said there, I am not at a huuge disadvantage if I don't have a dictionary? I am thinking of waking up at 6:30 to get to school to borrow one (takes me an hour to get there, that's why). If I don't get one, am I at a disadvantage for LA? Or don't bother?
George D:
If you're writing a regular expository essay then you shouldn't have to worry about audience. If it's a speech, then have something at the start like 'Good morning ladies and gentlemen of the United States Art Appreciation Society, today I'm here to talk to you about...' or preferably something less clunky depending on your form. Apologies if I've misinterpreted your question; let me know what form you're doing if you'res still confused.
Zezima:
Try and use more formal language wherever possible. If all else fails, write the simpler/colloquial word and put a mark on the side of the page. Do this for all spelling uncertainties, possible misquotes, or areas you're just iffy about. That way, if you have time at the end, you'll be able to edit quickly and efficiently since you know where everything is.
I'd also advice against using dictionaries unless you are very confident in your timing. I left mine till the end, since it's more important to finish your essay and have it be structurally and ideologically sound than it is to spell a word right. The latter is a lot easier to fix too, especially if you only have a few minutes, or even seconds left at the end.
millie96:
Just shade the box. If you're writing a good essay, it should be clear within two to three sentences which topic you're dealing with anyway.
coezooke:
There are a bunch of threads at the moment with recommended concl. structure, so take a look at those if you need.
You're definitely not meant to discuss effectiveness or overall persuadability (?) of the articles. My pattern was to begin the concl. by summing up how the author concludes their piece, link this to a major concern, appeal, or dichotomy evident within the article, and the some general statement about how language was used overall, or how the author wants readers to think/feel/act by the end.
George D:
If you're writing a regular expository essay then you shouldn't have to worry about audience. If it's a speech, then have something at the start like 'Good morning ladies and gentlemen of the United States Art Appreciation Society, today I'm here to talk to you about...' or preferably something less clunky depending on your form. Apologies if I've misinterpreted your question; let me know what form you're doing if you'res still confused.
what happens if i misquote in my essay? Will i lose a lot of marks...even when it can be very relevant to my argument (Section A, In the Country of men)I had misquotes in my Section A that score full marks, so I wouldn't worry about it (aim to be as accurate as possible though, and don't misquote deliberately. If you know it's wrong, paraphrase with brackets and make it sounds as correct as possible :P
what happens if i misquote in my essay? Will i lose a lot of marks...even when it can be very relevant to my argument (Section A, In the Country of men)
Ahhh... peace and quiet at last 8)Lol, are you kidding? You think the Class of 2015 is going to ignore the opportunity to make you help them over summer? Good joke.
Sorry I couldn't respond to all the delightful 'thank-you's till I finished today. To all my lovely PMers, rest assured, I did read them, and I felt in equal measures warm, and fuzzy :)
I'd like to thank you all too. It's inspiring to see so many people not only caring enough to conquer VCE, but wanting to help others through it as well. The advice, support, and goodwill I've seen on these forums is truly amazing and will stay with you longer than any ATAR or Study Score.
I hope all goes well for everyone during the exam period and beyond :)
...this board is going to be so quiet for the next 6 months :'(
Just let me enjoy my moment of silence, okay? :PYou've got about three hours. Enjoy it :p
You've got about three hours. Enjoy it :pomg so quiet
omg so quietI'll send you an mms in about an hour and put it on the forums once I... Work out how to. I'm also super curious to see the exam (primarily Sec A and C)
wonder how tough the exam is... I'd put money on a comparative L.A. and some challenging prompts for the 4th year texts.
Like- not evil, but challenging.
I'll send you an mms in about an hour and put it on the forums once I... Work out how to. I'm also super curious to see the exam (primarily Sec A and C)lol, go away Section B, no one loves you
lol, go away Section B, no one loves youTeacher's get the script at 10.30 once the doors close ;)
wait, one hour? That's not after 12:15
and I totally didn't have to count on my fingers
Do you have some secret VCAA connections I should know about?
Lol, are you kidding? You think the Class of 2015 is going to ignore the opportunity to make you help them over summer? Good joke.You're forgetting about all the Class of 2014 running back here to discuss how they handled each section, hoping that either of you can validate their approach to the prompt. ;P
You're forgetting about all the Class of 2014 running back here to discuss how they handled each section, hoping that either of you can validate their approach to the prompt. ;PNah, we're about to make a whole specific board just for that to happen :p
Lol, are you kidding? You think the Class of 2015 is going to ignore the opportunity to make you help them over summer? Good joke.Haha I can confirm that I will be one of those people making the most of that opportunity ;D
Nah, we're about to make a whole specific board just for that to happen :p
Thank you SO much for this year :) you have been of great help!
Hi Lauren,
When commenting on the impact upon the reader in an L.A is it necessary to comment on how different readers may react to a particular piece of language? Also, how would you comment on a technique like hypophora; what is the general effect on the reader? btw i am a year 11. Thanks so much for your help throughout the year! :)
Hey Lauren
What's the best way in getting feedback from someone? I'm going to start trialling writing small pieces of text (so like one paragraph and then get feedback on it and refine it etc.) since I feel the feedback I'm getting from teacher's isn't worthwhile.. so if I continue to do this throughout next year, when would be a good time to stop and start handing in an actual essay for them to correct?
Hey Lauren
What's the best way in getting feedback from someone? I'm going to start trialling writing small pieces of text (so like one paragraph and then get feedback on it and refine it etc.) since I feel the feedback I'm getting from teacher's isn't worthwhile.. so if I continue to do this throughout next year, when would be a good time to stop and start handing in an actual essay for them to correct?
Can I ask why you think your teacher's feedback isn't worthwhile?...and is there any reason why their feedback would be better in smaller doses? (I'm assuming this is your current Year 11 teacher, and you'll have someone different next year?)
Hey guys, so I heard about some kind of 'AN English Submission' site where you can submit your English essays for correction - could somebody please provide me with a link?Hey AllG, the Submissions page is accessible from the general English Studies board which branches off into all the different English subjects.
Thanks in advance :)
Hey Lauren !I understand your apprehensions, but I'd say you'll have to start being strict with yourself when it comes to selecting arguments and evidence. In all likelihood what you're doing at the moment is using different evidence to support the same point. This is only effective in moderation, and you don't want to get bogged down in listing a bunch of stuff when two or three lines is enough. Alternatively, you might be using one example and trying to flesh out all of the points within it; this is also flawed since you have to strike a balance between showing your depth and breadth of knowledge.
I get penalised in my text response pieces because my paragraphs are too long and I have crammed too many ideas under one major idea that the paragraph is based on. I am very thorough with my text response pieces and I want or include many different examples and idea under one major one. I was thinking about splitting up my paragraphs but does that then mean each new paragraph needs to have a central idea? For instance , I wrote a paragraph about the threat of intelligence in 1984 and used more micro idea under that major one. The paragraph went on for ages! So I wanted to split up the paragraph but since all my ideas take the idea of the threat intelligence from different angles, I didn't know how I could formulate another central idea forms too start a new paragraph. .... Am I making sense? It's kinda hard to explain.
Hey Lauren,
Just wondering if you think extra resources such as text guides from the huge range of companies (TSSM, Insight, etc.) are worthwhile or just a waste of money.
Cheers :)
Hey Lauren,
Did you have any specific system for collating external examples for Context that you think would work best? Like by prompt, aspects of the context etc. And in what format?
Hey Lauren,Hmm... good question.
Did you have any specific system for collating external examples for Context that you think would work best? Like by prompt, aspects of the context etc. And in what format?
CONFLICT PROMPT FOCI:I'm yet to come across a prompt that doesn't conform to one or more of these topics (though the 2013 exam came close :P)
conflict = a test, necessity for survival/ happiness/ betterment etc.
conflict = destructive, inessential
conflict --> unites and/or divides
fairness, justice, morality
blame, aftermath, what this says about us?
test of relationships/ empathy/ values
heroes, bystanders, villains
beginning and end of conflict = definable? important?
absence of conflict? possible? good?
freewill, able to control conflict, or our response?
breakdown in communication/ understanding/ perspective
internal vs. external
cause/ response/ consequence/ resolution <-- which is more important, or tells us more about ourselves?
I apologise for impersonating the queen of English.-.- I saw that... jks, welcome back man, your input is more than welcome now that I'll no longer be the most recent English grad in a few weeks.
When did context external examples, I had 3 main headings for different context key areas which you should be able to find in your context and then within each large heading, I broke it down into smaller ideas and the key external examples I had found for each. I did conflict so I'll give you an example
To give you a bit of my own personal advice for what I did for Conflict this is how I grouped it.
3 MAIN Headings:
1) Causes of Conflict
2) Nature of Conflict
3) Results of Conflict
I had about 3-4 different ideas for each and external examples under each.
I had bit of textual contextualisation of the example and then specific quotes and then I had a few sentences describing how it related to the idea.
I found this helped me organise my thoughts - and it was all on a word document, throughout the year I added to it and refined it and before exams I just memorised most of it so in the actual exam, I had plenty to draw from and it was all ordered in my brain under the different ideas.
(inb4 Lauren ;) - she might have a different system - hope my thoughts help in some way!)
I apologise for impersonating the queen of English.
Hey Lauren! I could really use your wisdom :D
I finished year 10 this year, and am studying English next year. I received DUX of my school in English Core this year (although there was an english advanced class) and i'm really looking to succeed next year.
We are doing AOS2 first up next year, and the context is Whose Reality?. The book we have to read for it is The Shark Net by Robert Drewe, which is pretty much a memoir of the authors childhood.
I really need some advice for these holidays. I have read about a third of it but I feel like nothing is sinking in, like it's just a bunch of endless facts (e.g Callum woke up. Callum brushed his teeth. Callum caught the bus, etc). I also need to be able to use the book a source and generate ideas about Whose Reality?.
Can you please help me on how I should study it so I can know the book inside out, generate ideas about Whose Reality for it, and pretty much be able to know why things have been mentioned in the memoir and what that tells about the author. I have always found my ideas from novels to be very weak and unjustified links when I use evidence in my essays.
Thanks so much! Enjoy holidays!
Hi there,Thanks! Yes I certainly agree, I will read it all just front cover to back cover first, and then probably again.
At this stage, I wouldn't stress too much about not being able to develop ideas about Whose Reality from your text. First readings serve as a way for you to just read the text. So, just read it. Don't worry about possible prompts, ideas and concepts just yet. I'd recommend reading all your English texts at least once over summer, and then if you still have time and no other homework to complete, then start to re read this text.
As a person who did do Whose Reality, the ideas surrounding this context can be very frustrating initially. Some broad concepts you could think about upon a second/third reading are things like memories, subjectivity, how emotions influence experience, perception etc. Hopefully this helps a bit!
Thanks! Yes I certainly agree, I will read it all just front cover to back cover first, and then probably again.
On the notion of reading all my english books, I have enough time in the holidays between terms to read and analyze my other english books for when we start studying them, it is just that while I did really good in english this year i was not fantastic at creating and presenting.
Our school is doing a speech on Whose Reality? in the THIRD week of term one and an expository essay in the FIFTH week of term one. I just really want to do better than my peers again and am worried (not stressing, just a little cautious) I won't be able to develop sophisticated ideas when the time comes to write.
Do you have any suggestions on how i link the memoir (and consider its not a novel, a memoir) and Whose Reality upon my second/third reading of the text these holidays? Will I need to know quotes and character analyses for the expository essay or do I just need to grasp ideas about reality from it.
It's just that when it says "Your writing must directly draw ideas from the text" does that mean I need to mention the text or somewhat mimic the text in my expository essay.
As much help would be awesome! Thanks ;D :D
Hey Lauren! (btw I like how all these start off with "hey/hi Lauren" haha)hey, i'm not lauren, but i did war poems last year on the exam so hopefully i can help a bit. :)
For The War Poems, we were basically given the compilation of poems, and frankly I have no idea what to do with them, because it's different to a normal novel in that its an anthology :( . What would you recommend reading all the poems one by one and attempt to analyse them over the school holidays? Or is there a recommended select few that would cater more to the VCE prompts? Honestly I have no idea how to tackle these poems at all haha.
Hey Lauren! (btw I like how all these start off with "hey/hi Lauren" haha)Going over the ones Paulrus has outlined should be your main concern. If I'm not mistaken VCAA doesn't actually specify which Selected Poems you're studying, just that they're from the anthology, but you'll get a good sense throughout the year of which ones have a lot of good discussion fodder in them, and which aren't so dense.
For The War Poems, we were basically given the compilation of poems, and frankly I have no idea what to do with them, because it's different to a normal novel in that its an anthology :( . What would you recommend reading all the poems one by one and attempt to analyse them over the school holidays? Or is there a recommended select few that would cater more to the VCE prompts? Honestly I have no idea how to tackle these poems at all haha.
Also, what is the difference between an introduction and a conclusion in text response? I always seem to just restate my introduction with different words, and although atm it seems to help me score ok, some higher responses manage to come up with really thought provoking conclusions and I was wondering if there was any tips on doing this!
Idk where to post this on AN and I don't want to start new threads.. but Lauren! I was recently given Great Expectations as a Christmas gift and had a few questions for you given youre like the repository of all English wisdom!
I would assume you have read it. Thoughts? Things to look out for? And how difficult is it to read; I haven't read Dickens before. I just finished The Great Gatsby and I would give it a 6 out of 10 (in terms of difficulty). Also, I notice that it's really long... is Dickens just verbose and pedantic with everything (because I am going to avoid reading it if so.. lol my attention span is not long) and is it actually a worthwhile/interesting read?
Thanks :)
Dickens wrote serial stories for newspapers, meaning he put a small chunk of the story in each edition of the newspaper, and people would read the whole thing gradually over time. He was also paid by the word for these stories. This is one theory as to why he wrote a number of long pieces, but it can also be explained by his seeming preference for character, plot and setting over obvious thematic messaging or didacticism (a notable exception being A Christmas Carol). He's not a pedantic writer in the way that someone like Henry James is, so his works reads as more lively and fast-paced than James' - but he is very detail-oriented, known for creating vivid characters and scenes.
For me, Dickens can sometimes take a while to get into with each book, because the description of people and places and events can make it feel like not much is happening. But the pacing of his language is quite quick, even if not much 'plot' is going by, and once you immerse yourself in the storyworld it's very engaging because things really come to life. I'm not saying you *can't* analyse Dickens thematically, but I think he's perhaps stronger as a classic storyteller, so just let yourself be told a story, kid-style.
This is really great advice for Dickens (referring to the last sentence). Sometimes, you might need to reevaluate ideas about why you're reading or what makes something 'good' reading.So true! For me, reading has always been a de-stresser and reading 'real' literature always caused me stress because everything is beneath the surface and implied and most of the time I don't understand it, haha. Time to get off the Matthew Reilly and the John Grisham, and give other authors a go :)
I read Catcher in Year 10 - Holden is so YOLO. Good as time to read it, especially during puberty and stuff. Holden and his ducks and red hat, cute as.
Catcher in the Rye is a pretty cool book to read for someone who has just finished high-school, or The Bell Jar if you're more inclined towards less insufferable protagonists*.
*Holden4lyfhatethephonies
hello,Newtonian Physics? *shrugs*
this is a random question but:
what is something we as a society claimed to know but in reality until we are exposed to the seemingly impossible (cause we claimed to know that it wasn't possible), we realise maybe there is more to what we supposedly know???
this is related to my oral :)
thanks
hello,
this is a random question but:
what is something we as a society claimed to know but in reality until we are exposed to the seemingly impossible (cause we claimed to know that it wasn't possible), we realise maybe there is more to what we supposedly know???
this is related to my oral :)
thanks
hello,
this is a random question but:
what is something we as a society claimed to know but in reality until we are exposed to the seemingly impossible (cause we claimed to know that it wasn't possible), we realise maybe there is more to what we supposedly know???
this is related to my oral :)
thanks