Hi I was wondering if you could possibly correct this essay on the 2015 question 8 essay topic. This would be much appreciated, thank you.
‘Language choices and strategies are frequently based on addressing the face needs of ourselves and others.’ Discuss, referring to at least two subsystems of language in your response.People choose to use different language
(could you be more specific here? Perhaps try ‘Linguistic features’) for a number of different
(you’ve used different twice so look for a synonym) reasons, but one of the main factors in language choice is addressing the face needs of others. This is done by strategically using language which addresses the positive and negative face needs of others by making them feel good
(I think you could be more specific here. Does it make them feel respected? Appreciated?) or imposing less upon them. Face needs can be met through using euphemistic language, playful or figurative language or using more political correct terminology. Through these language choices these help to strategically make others feel better and imposing upon them less.
(You’ve repeated ‘imposing on them less’ twice so rephrase the idea)Euphemisms are often used as a strategy to make one feel less bad
(again, you could be more specific by replacing the word ‘bad’ with something else) as they help to cover up the truth and protect one’s positive face needs. This strategy is often seen in advertisements which sell products
(advertisements don’t sell products though? They promote them) associated with taboo topics or topics which people feel uncomfortable discussing. This is evident in the Toto’s bidet commercial where a faux spokesman with a hose is seen wandering around his home spraying things that could be euphemisms for your bottom such as a pirate's booty, a poster of Uranus and a full moon.
(You should quote each example e.g. ‘pirate’s booty’, ‘full moon’) By using such euphemisms in a national advertisement, it reduces the taboo
(nature) of
(the) topic
(you’ve haven’t said what the taboo topic is) and makes people feel less imposed upon by this topic and thus address their negative face needs.
(After reading the topic sentence I was expecting you to discuss only pos face, so mention neg face in the topic sentence as well) Euphemisms can also be used to address positive face needs. This can be seen with the euphemistic phrase ‘casting couch’ which has been used for decades in Hollywood. In the light of the recent Harvey Weinstein sexual assault cases, it has been made clear that this phrase is really just a euphemistic strategy.
(‘really just’ sounds too informal here) This term prevented the public from really seeing what was really happening behind the scenes as it’s catchy alliteration made people focus more on the location and furniture than the act and sexual assault. This helped to protect the positive face needs of the movie companies
(be specific – the face needs of the employees of the movie companies) and the positive face of young aspiring actors as their dreams of making it in ‘tinsel’ town weren’t tarnished by the reality of the industry.
(I don’t think this is the strongest example you could’ve used for positive face. What about nicknames? Swearing between friends?) euphemisms can be used as a strategy in addressing others face needs by not imposing on them and masking the trust
(did you mean truth?) in order to make other feel better.
Figurative and playful language can also be used as an effective strategy in helping to not impose on others. This is often seen through metaphors, alliteration or rhyming slang which helps to hedge area the issue. This is becoming a popular strategy in addressing negative face needs on wedding or birthday invitations when asking for money instead of gifts. For examples metaphoric phrases such as ‘wishing well’ which uses alliteration and rhyming sentences such as “to save you shopping, looking or buying, a gift of currency will help you stop trying”. From these examples it is evident that linguistic strategies have been used to hedge around the direct asking for money as alternate phrases such as ‘wishing well’ and ‘gift of currency’ have been substituted in inplace of ‘money’ in a fun rhyming way which reduces imposing of the person receiving the letter.
(‘which reduces imposing of the person…’ sounds awkward so rephrase it) The idea of rhyming slang being used as a face strategy is also used by businesses or companies when addressing consumers, as seen by the brand M&S replying with “'Sorry your brogues have been rogues and don't fit like they oughtta” to a customer who was unsatisfied with a pair of shoes, where the ‘-gues’ in ‘brogues’ and ‘rogues’ rhyme in order to create make the company seem more accommodating and friendly and help to make the customer feel less angry and thus build the positive face needs
(positive face needs can’t be built, they can only be met or not met) of the customer and the M&S brand.
(This sentence is too long so split your ideas into shorter sentences. You could be more specific in your elaboration. How does making a customer less angry make them feel respected? ) Thus showing that rhyming, alliteration and figurative language can be used to make situation more light and help to address both positive and negative face needs.
Your topic sentence only mentions negative face needs, even though you’ve discussed pos face as well. Make sure your topic sentence matches with the contents of your body paragraph. Furthermore, another strategy commonly used to address positive face needs is the use of politically correct language. Politically correct language helps to reduce marginalising, stereotyping and downgrading people or minority groups. This strategy is often used with people with specific disabilities, as it is important to use politically correct language in order to address their positive face needs and to not offend them. For example on the ABC program ‘You can’t ask that’, the topic of small statured people was discussed and what the politically correct terminology was when referring to them.
(awkward expression, try: ..statured people and politically correct terminology were discussed. Try to be consise in your writing) For example terms such as midget and dwarf
(again, put your examples in quotes) are offensive to people with this genetic disorder as they relate back to them historically being used as carnival folk and freak shows and being involved with the highly offensive act of ‘dwarf throwing’. Therefore in order to address people with this disorder’s positive face needs
(awkward expression, try: the positive face needs of individuals with this disorder) and reduce objectifying them
(reduce objectifying them sounds awkward), the politcal correct term like
(you don’t need to say ‘like’ here as you're not listing multiple examples) ‘small statured people’ are used in Australia, because like comedian Stephen K Amos quotes “to think before offending people”.
(‘like’ is unnecessary here; I think there are better quotes you can use to support this example. Try to find a quote from a linguist) The strategy
(strategic use) of
political(ly) correct language can also be seen in Google’s recent changes to some of their dictionary sample sentences that were sexist and challenged the positive face needs of women. For example words (
my year 11 EL teacher roasted us if we ever used ‘word’ in an essay, b/c you could use ‘lexeme’ instead and add more metalang to your essay) like ‘nagging’, ‘presumptuous’ and ‘whinge’ were changed such as
(‘such as’ should be replaced with ‘and’ so your sentence flows better) the definition of ‘whinge’ was changed from “she let off steam by having a good whinge” to “stop whingeing and get on with it!”. These changes help to remove the female association from the negatively connoted words and reduce reinforcing
(I’ve noticed you do this a lot in your writing, but it doesn’t make sense. You don’t need two verbs, so just write ‘reduce prejudices’) prejudices against women and therefore attend to females positive face needs by not offending them by these old fashioned stereotypes.
(Don’t forget the linking sentence!) Therefore there are numerous ways in which our choices and strategies are frequently used to address both positive and negative face needs. As figurative, political(ly) correct language and euphemisms are all linguistic strategies which we use to avoid offending and imposing on people and addressing their face needs.
Solid work here, however you could’ve explored other ideas in this essay to add more depth. For example, you could’ve linked the idea of social distance to face needs, and how the power disparity between interlocutors affects language choices. You could also use more quotes to improve your essay. Regarding your written expression, read your work out loud after you finish it to see which parts sound awkward. Obviously don't do this during the exam haha, but I'm sure that proofreading and practice will help! Good luck