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Author Topic: English Language essay submission and marking  (Read 224674 times)  Share 

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Joseph41

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #240 on: June 10, 2017, 01:13:52 pm »
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The SAC today went well! A novel extract which was unexpected and not many people practiced it but I think I pulled off something decent, although messy due to lots of editing :p

That's awesome! Great work - thanks for the update. :D

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Bri MT

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #241 on: July 16, 2017, 12:12:43 pm »
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Hey, this is the first essay I will ever receive feedback on for Eng Lang, which is very exciting but also intimidating. That being said, I would much rather you err on the side of being "mean" than not provide criticism. I would love to be able to refine and improve my technique, so the more feedback the better :). Thankyou very much for taking the time to do this, I am very grateful.    (This isn't due on Monday or anything so no rush)

My prompt was: " What does Australian English look and sound like today and how does it reflect our identity as a nation"
A reference to a stimulus quote is present in paragraph 1 (Vic Gorman)

The word count is 819 and I am aiming to cut my essay length to approx. 650 words by the exam

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Language evolves overtime to in response to the ways which people use it to convey information and express their identity, and Australian English is no exception to this rule. Australian English speakers are still identifiable by the sounds of their speech, and continue to use lexemes unique to the land down under, however, the increased exchange between cultures and widespread use of the internet has also left a distinct impact. This has not erased the Australian identity, rather, it allows change and enables speakers to express multiple aspects of their identity through their use of Australian English.

Speakers have become more confident in the acceptance of the Australian accent, which has created an environment where variations on it are not seen as a threat to its integrity. This positive perception Australian speech can be seen in the decrease of the cultivated accent, which was indicative of the British Received Pronunciation being preferred. The broad accent, adopted in opposition to the cultivated accent, has also seen a decline in usage; the vast majority of Australians now use a general Australian accent in some form. As the Australian accent is no longer perceived as being threatened and thus is not rigidly enforced by most Australians, it is amenable to play and variation which expresses other aspects of the speakers’ background. Vic Gorman wrote in a 2006 letter to the Green Guide that “Australia is a country full of different accents”, a statement which remains accurate to this day. The formation of a myriad of ethnolects is no surprise when Australia’s rich cultural diversity Is considered. The 2016 census shows that half of the Australian population has at least one parent who was born overseas, and that over 300 different languages are used within Australia. Linguistic PhD research candidate Josh Clothier believes that these ethnolects are used to both “express identity as Australians of a particular descent” and “to express links with their heritage communities”. This shift from variation in broadness to cultural variation serves our community by retaining Australian identity yet allowing for concurrent expression of additional cultural identities.

The common use of the internet as a medium of expression has changed the way that Australians use phrases and lexemes, so they may be easily understood. Communicating with people from different countries and backgrounds without paralinguistic features provides ample opportunities for accidental miscommunication. In the past, a common aspect of Australian speech was the deliberate use of descriptors which are antithetical to the described content. For example, the use of the nickname “bluey” to describe someone with red hair. However, research by linguist Dr Louisa White indicates that it is rare for a Victorian or Queensland high school student to have a nickname formed in this way. Similarly, the use of expressive idioms such as “flat out like a lizard drinking” is declining, especially among younger generations of Australians. By contrast, slang such as “Maccas” which are distinctly Australian have remained in use, potentially because it is easier to either guess the meaning or use a slang dictionary or website, and the unknown lexeme is clearly identified. In contrast, it may be difficult for international speakers to determine what components of discourse were part of the confusing phrase and thereby search for an explanation. Potentially even more dangerous, someone forced to guess the meaning of a phrase may interpret the meaning in an unintended way which detracts from the speaker’s goals. Eschewing parts of Australian language with clear potential for misinterpretation and instead emphasising Australian lexemes allows for the expression of Australian identity and reduces the likelihood of miscommunication.
The increased cultural exchange both in online and physical communities where Australians are present has also resulted in the transfer of words between cultures. Americanisms such as “Dude” and “y’all” are increasingly finding their way to the lexicon of Australians, and in particular children. Further to this, the use of autocorrect and predictive services which use American English increases the prevalence of American spellings and normalizes their use in communication between and by Australians. However, the transfer of culture and ways of speaking is bi-directional. Internet linguistic Getchen McCulloch believes that Australians are responsible for the initial creation of “DoggoLingo”, a popular way of talking about dogs across the internet. Most of the lexemes in this English variant are diminutives based on suffixation or alternate spelling of pre-existing Standard English words, with the term “Doggo” displaying the Australian trait of adding an “o” as a suffix to form slang. This shares the informal aspect of Australian identity, showing that even as Australian lexicology shifts accepts change from other countries, Australian identity markers are also being used internationally.
Australian language use has changed and will continue to change in modern times to be more compatible with other Englishes. However, rather than erasing Australian identity, new avenues of expression in which multiple identities are performed concurrently are being used in spoken and written discourse.





TheInfamousJimsRightHandMan

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #242 on: July 23, 2017, 05:30:01 pm »
+3
Hello miniturtle!!
Not going to critique or anything, sorry, but I was struggling to write an essay on Identity and Australian English and then came across this. Thanks!!!
Here were the references for this question (I found the exact same one question with Viv Gorman being one of the people being quoted).
a) 'Australian English is an important expression of identity in part because of the way it is a bearer of history ... Australian English has continually given voice to the issues, the tensions, and the values that make up the fabric of Australian society ... Of all the markers of identity, language is by far the most significant ... It is ... a multifaceted entity. Australian English is central to the process of giving voice to our Australian identity: in important ways, we are what we speak, and we are how we speak.'
(Bruce Moore, Speaking our Language: The Story of Australian English, Oxford University Press, 2008)
b) 'Australia is a country full of different accents. Yet Australian film and TV seem only to represent the Australian accent. Different accents add dimensions to a film. The filmmakers should open up the population of Australia to the myriad of accents present in this country.'
(Viv Gorman, letter to the 'Green Guide', The Age, 6 August 2009)
c) 'If we look at some of the more marginalised groups in Australia, we can see a wealth of linguistic innovation and new phrases and even dialects of Australian English. Indigenous Australians have created varieties of English for use among their peers which are rich in innovation. These are slow to make their way into mainstream Australian English, but the word deadly meaning "excellent, strong" is now quite widely understood in Australia, and I have observed some more widespread use of yumob as a second person plural pronoun.'
(Rob Pensalfini, 'Aussie slang is as diverse as Australia itself', The Conversation website, 24 June 2014)
d) 'We may no longer be using "cobber" as part of our everyday speech, but we are constantly coining new and distinctively Australian expressions that display an unending verbal inventiveness.'
(Hugh Lunn, quoted in 'If you understand our lingo, you're in', by Tim Barlass, The Age, 8 February 2015)
Got all of these from the insight vce Exam guide, so if anyone wants to attempt this question (so they could give some feedback), feel free.
2016: Religion and Society (32)
2017: Mathematical Methods CAS, Further Mathematics, English Language, Chemistry, German

ccmorri99

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #243 on: July 30, 2017, 07:33:26 pm »
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Hi! I was just wondering if someone could please have a look at this practice essay I wrote. The topic is 'What does Australian English look and sound like today and how does this reflect the Australian identity'?
Thanks!
2016: Business Management (44)
2017: English Language, Chemistry, Mathematical Methods, Further Mathematics, Psychology

lillianmaher

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #244 on: July 31, 2017, 11:45:28 am »
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Hi, this is a practice essay for the SAC, which I have on Wednesday. I really struggled to write this, and do not feel confident at all for our sac which is on National Identity. Any feedback will be greatly appreciated, as will any tips in general for the sac! Thank you!!
Australian English is inventive and playful and reflects our national identity. To what extent do you agree?
Australian English (AuE) is a unique dialect of English, which is inventive and playful and reflects the national identity of Australia. Australian English has evolved over the years, beginning at the arrival of the First Fleet, and is continually developing and adapting according to global and national trends. Australian English is a construct that represents national identity both on Australian shores and beyond, as it reflects the many different aspects and influences on Australia, in an inventive and playful manner. The influences on AuE include the arrival of the First Fleet, Aboriginal English and the many ethnolects present in Australia, which have impacted, and continue to play a significant role in the expression of national identity, in addition to the abundance of Australian slang and colloquialisms.
When the First Fleet arrived in 1788, the inventive and playful manner of what is now Australian English was first shown. British soldiers and convicts from Britain, Ireland and Scotland all arrived with the First Fleet, with each having their own accents and dialects of English. However, it was the children from the First Fleet and later arriving ships which were responsible for the creation of the ‘Foundation Accent’ (The Language of Australia). This new accent morphed the accents of the convicts, settlers, squatters and soldiers, as the children would talk more like each other and less like their parents. This new foundation accent gave identity to Australians it was unique, and, being created by the children showed playful and rebellious language. However, at the time of Federation in 1901, the Australian accent was disfavoured, with it being said that Australians that spoke with this accent, ‘don’t know how to speak.’ (The Language of Australia) Elocution classes were introduced to teach children, and adults, the British Received Pronunciation, and the development of the Cultivated Accent occurred. The Australian accent did not appear in Australian film nor television, with the British Broadcasting Company only employing speakers with the British accent. It was not until the 1970’s when speaking with an Australian accent became accepted, as people wanted to be proud of their heritage. Thus being so, the Australian accent today, is as reflection of the history of Australia, and the playful language created by the children of the First Fleet, being a proud marker of national identity.
Aboriginal English (AbE) is another dialect of English which is a major influence on our national identity. Arising from the need to communicate with the English speaking settlers who arrived in Australia in the 18th Century, Aboriginal English was developed, influenced by the 250 Indigenous Languages that were present at the time of colonisation. Currently, Aboriginal English is spoken by more than 80% of Aboriginal Australians as their main English. There are systematic phonological correspondences between the sound system of AbE and the sound system of Standard Australian English. Features of AbE include a more elaborated pronoun system, with ‘you’ referring to one person, and ‘you-mob’ referring to more than one person. There is also an optional inflection number, where s does not have to be added to show a plural, if the sentence already indicates a plural, for example, ‘Three cat.’ There is also an optional copula, where ‘she busy’ would be used as opposed to ‘she is busy.’ There are also many phonological features of AbE, including no ‘h’ sounds, with ‘f’, ‘v,’ and ‘th’ sounds being rare, as ‘f’ and ‘v’ are pronounced as ‘p’ or ‘b’.  There are lexical differences in Aboriginal English, with ‘debil-debil’ meaning evil spirit, ‘grow up’ meaning raise a child and ‘charging on’ referring to drinking. Aboriginal societies are multi-lingual, and will vary the dialect they speak depending the identity they wish to express. Aboriginal English plays an important role in the expression of National identity, and reflects the cultural diversity that exists in the nation.
Ethnolect in Australia also reflects the cultural diversity in Australia, and plays an important role in expressing the multi culturalism present in the nation. Individually, Ethnolects reveal the cultural affiliation of the speaker, however, as a whole expresses our national identity, and express the inventive and playful manner of AuE, in particular through the language of children of immigrant families. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 26.8% of the Australian population was born outside of Australia, totalling over 6 million people. By 2050, it estimated that one third of the nation’s population will be born overseas. Along with this, comes an increase in cultural diversity and the desire for individuals to freely express their cultural identity within the Australian context. Children of immigrant families are often inventive with their language, embracing their cultural heritage whilst adopting some speech patterns of AuE to conform to their peer group. This results in the development of a playful dialect, such as seen on the Australian television show, Here Come the Habibs, which portrays a Lebanese family. The show features a teenage school girl, who speaks with a Lebanese accent using lexemes associated with Lebanon, such as ‘shoo’ meaning what’s up and ‘yallah’ meaning good bye, but also features of a more modern and informal English, such as ‘I swear to God’, ‘totes’ and ‘dis.’ This combination of Ethnolect and AuE is important in displaying the identity of both immigrants, but of Australia as a wider whole.
A significant feature of Australian English is slang and colloquialisms which historically reflect the laid back, easy going and friendly nature of Australians. Slang and colloquialisms represent the very playful and inventive nature of AuE, with an Australian National University study finding that ‘using slang words … make tou more likeable to you fellow Australians.’ (Georgia Hitch) Australian slang is continually developing to reflect the values of Australians through the times, with ‘more than 16,000 Australianisms’ (Kate Burridge, The Conversation) being added to the Australian National Dictionary recently. Many of Australian slang words arise from Australia’s strong beach culture, such as ‘cossies’, ‘budgie smugglers’, ‘grommets’, and ‘nippers’. This playing and modifying words is a strong representation of playful nature of Australians, whilst further reflecting our values, such as beach culture. Diminutives are a common feature in Australian slang, including ‘ambo’, ‘truckie’, ‘uggies’, ‘barbie’ and ‘cockie,’ each with their own unique connotations which are understood by Australians. The playfulness of Australian slang plays a significant role in portraying the Australian identity.
Australian English is the major channel for the expression of national identity, expressing the values of Australians, and their inventive and playful way of communicating. There has been, and continues to be an abundance of influences on AuE, including colonisation, Aboriginal English and Ethnolect. The use of slang and colloquialisms in AuE are an important way for Australians to express their laid back and friendly nature, and to further develop the national identity.


faith.ands

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #245 on: August 06, 2017, 05:22:19 pm »
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Hi!!! Could you please read my eng lang essay and let me know how I can improve it? Also, can you give it a mark?

The Prompt: 'Euphemism promotes social harmony and strengthens the social fabric of our society' Discuss


Euphemisms are used ‘a lot more than we think’, they are alternatives to expressions which may be deemed offensive. When used in society, it functions to cover up negative or distressing denotations through the use of more appealing or general lexemes. Euphemisms aid social harmony between interlocutors by disguising taboo topics and avoiding any threats to their positive face needs. In addition to this, it can be seen as a form of politically correct language which promotes ‘the social fabric’ of the community by creating avoiding embarrassing of confronting topics. However, there are times when such language can obfuscate or cause confusion. In the Australian public domain, Kate Burridge describes euphemism as ‘linguistic deodorisers’.

Through the use of more euphemistic expressions, social interactions between interlocutors avoid awkward and potentially face threatening situations. This is seen especially when discussing taboo topics such as periods, death or sex. People tend to become linguistically creative, for example, an international survey conducted by Clue and International Women’s Health Coalition found that 5000 different slang terms and euphemisms exist for the lexeme ‘period’, spanning across 190 different countries. ‘Aunt Flow’, ‘Code red’ and ‘Lady days’ are a few of the most frequently used euphemisms in the English language, whilst those in China say ‘Its little sister has come’. This study can suggest how euphemistic expressions are used to replace the medical jargon of ‘menstruation’ in order to make the topic less confronting, therefore promoting social harmony. In the same way, many funeral companies use lexemes which hold more positive connotations. For example, Tobin Brothers Funerals’ slogan is ‘Celebrating lives’. This may be viewed as an oxymoron, as the denotation of a funeral is to commemorate rather than celebrate. However, it is used to disguise the topic of death whilst avoiding any offense that may be caused to the family or loved ones. Given these points, it is seen that ‘any term denoting an aspect of life that is indelicate, offensive or unsavoury will generally get euphemistic treatment’ in order to promote social harmony amongst participants.
Not only is this language used between different social groups, it is also evident in the public domain such as in politics and the media. It is used create a culturally rich and socially cohesive community by reducing potential offense or embarrassment. For example, a recent episode of The Project explored the political uproar caused by Pauline Hanson’s inquiry about whether or not there was a link between terrorism and refugee. It was then followed by Duncan Lewis, Director General of ASIO (Australian Security Intelligence Organisation) who stated that ‘We’ve had a thousand or so refugees come…and very few of them have become subjects of interest from ASIO and terrorist planning’. Euphemism has been used in ‘subject of interest from ASIO’ which implies that there have been some refugees who have been suspected of being terrorists. However, Lewis refrains from using the pejorative term ‘terrorist’ to avoid generalisations whilst also trying to disguise the fact that there is some connection between refugees and acts of terrorism. In addition to this, euphemisms are put in place depending on the desired effect on its audience. For example, Australian politicians employ the dysphemistic term ‘slaughter of innocent’ when referring to terror attacks on the Australian community. In contrast, terms such as ‘peacekeeping efforts’ and ‘collateral damage’ are used when describing the killings of other nations by our own people. This euphemistic terms attempts to position society into viewing the killings as something that is needed to ensure a ‘peaceful’ outcome, and therefore, help aid the social ties within Australia.

Despite its role in promoting social cohesion in the Australian community, euphemisms can obfuscate and lead to confusion as they are simply ‘unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne’. Earlier this year, Daniel Andrews, MP, declared that he wants to pass the ‘Assisted dying bill’ in Victoria, or in more simple terms, euthanasia. In response to this, the Catholic Education office sent out messages to Catholic schools asking them to vote against the bill. A newsletter sent to the parents of St. Joseph’s School stated that ‘Euphemisms such as ‘assisted dying’ and ‘dying with dignity’ are being hailed as acts of compassion, yet, with the sugar coating removed, euthanasia is about actively killing someone, and assisted suicide is helping someone to suicide.’ This highlights the frustration of the Catholic Church on the way in which politicians attempt to disguise the ‘ugly truth’ by making it sound less confronting and therefore leading to misinformed decision making. Furthermore, euphemistic speech can lead to confusion amongst the youth and may even lead to developing an ‘overly sensitive’ generation. An NHS trust in Scotland has called parents to stop using euphemistic terms for genitals and ‘tell it like it is’. This is because, although they are useful in avoiding embarrassing situations, they can also be problematic. For example, saying ‘Grandad has gone to sleep’ is a sensitive way of discussing the taboo of death, however, the euphemism of ‘sleep’ may cause confusion in other contexts such as telling a child that the couple got divorced because ‘he slept with another woman’. This may cause the child to wonder why such a drastic action is needed ‘because of a sleepover’. Overall, although euphemisms help aid social harmony, they also function to confuse or manipulate the truth.

Euphemistic speech continues to play a role in social interactions between people as well as in public language such as politics. They provide alternative ways to discussing taboo topics or as a way to reduce embarrassment or offence, thus encouraging social harmony between different groups. However, in some cases, its use functions to complicate or disguise the semantic truth.

mtDNA

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #246 on: August 08, 2017, 02:32:02 pm »
+11
Hey Faith.ands! I am by no means an examiner or anything, just a fellow yr 12 Eng-Lang student, so please take my advise with a grain of salt :) . As such, it would be appreciated if another AN user could review my corrections. 

The Prompt: 'Euphemism promotes social harmony and strengthens the social fabric of our society’. Discuss

Euphemisms are used ‘a lot more than we think’, they are alternatives to expressions which may be deemed offensive. When used in society, it functions to cover up negative or distressing denotations through the use of more appealing or general lexemes. Euphemisms aid social harmony between interlocutors by disguising taboo topics and avoiding any threats to their positive face needs. In addition to this, it can be seen as a form of politically correct language which promotes ‘the social fabric’ of the community by creating avoiding embarrassing of confronting topics. However, there are times when such language can obfuscate or cause confusion. In the Australian public domain, Kate Burridge describes euphemism as ‘linguistic deodorisers’.

In the public domain, euphemisms augment and enhance our social harmony by acting as "linguistic deodorisers” (our lord and saviour :) ) for expressions which are deemed offensive or impolite; they function to mask negative connotations associated with certain lexemes by replacing them with more appealing or neutral lexemes, thereby maintaining the positive face needs of interlocutors and mitigating taboo topics (I’ll leave you to cut this sentence down as it is far too lengthy, I just tried to mash up a few of your sentences which seemed somewhat repetitive). Furthermore, euphemisms can enable one to employ politically correct language in order to avoid confronting issues, thereby promoting the 'social fabric’ of our society. On the contrary, there are times when such language can obfuscate ... [this signpost is somewhat weak; maybe be a bit more specific, or mention doublespeak or discuss how euphemisms can make something which is neutral in society seem negative, that being said, I haven’t read your 3rd BP so I’m not sure what ideas you will be discussing]. Clearly, euphemisms have the ability to both support and hinder the social harmony of our society ... [expand on this linking sentence].
Just one point: make sure you don’t repeat yourself (e.g. the second and third sentence pretty much said the same thing). Apart from that, your intro was pretty good.


Through the use of more euphemistic expressions, social interactions between interlocutors avoid awkward and potentially face threatening situations. This is seen especially when discussing taboo topics such as periods, death or sex. People tend to become linguistically creative, for example, an international survey conducted by Clue and International Women’s Health Coalition found that 5000 different slang terms and euphemisms exist for the lexeme ‘period’, spanning across 190 different countries. ‘Aunt Flow’, ‘Code red’ and ‘Lady days’ are a few of the most frequently used euphemisms in the English language, whilst those in China say ‘Its little sister has come’. This study can suggest how euphemistic expressions are used to replace the medical jargon of ‘menstruation’ in order to make the topic less confronting, therefore promoting social harmony. In the same way, many funeral companies use lexemes which hold more positive connotations. For example, Tobin Brothers Funerals’ slogan is ‘Celebrating lives’. This may be viewed as an oxymoron, as the denotation of a funeral is to commemorate rather than celebrate. However, it is used to disguise the topic of death whilst avoiding any offense that may be caused to the family or loved ones. Given these points, it is seen that ‘any term denoting an aspect of life that is indelicate, offensive or unsavoury will generally get euphemistic treatment’ in order to promote social harmony amongst participants.

Through the use of euphemistic expressions, interlocutors can avoid face threatening situations in social interactions, particularly with respect to taboo subject matters such as menstrual bleeding, death, or sex. [It is best that you have an elaboration sentence; the one you had before was insufficient. Also, you don’t mention sex in this paragraph, so don’t include it in your topic sentence]. In an international survey conducted by Clue and the International Women’s Health Coalition, it was found that 5000 different slang terms and euphemisms exist for the lexeme ‘period’, including ‘Aunt Flow’, ‘Code red’ and ‘Lady days’. This study can suggest how euphemistic expressions are used to replace the medical jargon [how is it really medical jargon? I’m sure ‘period’ has a sense of understandability across wider society, so it is by no means jargonistic...] of ‘menstruation’ in order to make the topic less confronting, therefore promoting social harmony (perhaps mention how these euphemisms enable to speakers to mitigate this social taboo of menstruation, thereby protecting the positive face needs of interlocutors given this subject matter arises ... I dunno, just make sure you link back to face needs since this was in your intro and topic sentence). In a similar fashion, many funeral companies use lexemes which hold positive connotations [you need to expand here]. For instance, the slogan of Tobin Brothers Funerals’ is ‘Celebrating lives’; this may be viewed as an oxymoron, as the denotation of a funeral is to commemorate rather than celebrate [I sort of disagree with your point here; who said commemoration and celebration are mutually exclusive?]. As a result, it is used to disguise the topic of death, thereby avoiding any offense that may be caused to the family or loved ones. It is seen that ‘any term denoting an aspect of life that is indelicate, offensive or unsavoury will generally get euphemistic treatment’ [where did this quote come from? You need to state the name of the linguistic, otherwise it’s somewhat redundant] in order to promote social harmony amongst participants.
My advice: At times, your elaboration sentences are far too short in that they are sort of lacking, so you need to expand on these - after all, they are ‘elaboration’ sentences. Furthermore, try embed your examples more seamlessly (try avoid the ‘For example’, or more importantly, the ’this shows that...’). Additionally, you may want to get a linguist quote to back up your assertions. Also, you didn’t really discuss face needs, as mentioned in your intro and topic sentence. As for a positive, the contemporary examples are great; many people use ‘textbook’ examples such as ‘pass away’ versus ‘die’ when talking about death and euphemisms, so good job!


Not only is this language used between different social groups, it is also evident in the public domain such as in politics and the media. It is used create a culturally rich and socially cohesive community by reducing potential offense or embarrassment. For example, a recent episode of The Project explored the political uproar caused by Pauline Hanson’s inquiry about whether or not there was a link between terrorism and refugee. It was then followed by Duncan Lewis, Director General of ASIO (Australian Security Intelligence Organisation) who stated that ‘We’ve had a thousand or so refugees come…and very few of them have become subjects of interest from ASIO and terrorist planning’. Euphemism has been used in ‘subject of interest from ASIO’ which implies that there have been some refugees who have been suspected of being terrorists. However, Lewis refrains from using the pejorative term ‘terrorist’ to avoid generalisations whilst also trying to disguise the fact that there is some connection between refugees and acts of terrorism. In addition to this, euphemisms are put in place depending on the desired effect on its audience. For example, Australian politicians employ the dysphemistic term ‘slaughter of innocent’ when referring to terror attacks on the Australian community. In contrast, terms such as ‘peacekeeping efforts’ and ‘collateral damage’ are used when describing the killings of other nations by our own people. This euphemistic terms attempts to position society into viewing the killings as something that is needed to ensure a ‘peaceful’ outcome, and therefore, help aid the social ties within Australia.

Euphemism are also prevalent in the political hemisphere and the media; particularly in regards to constructing a culturally rich and and socially cohesive community by reducing potential offense or embarrassment. [insert elaboration sentence]. Following Pauline Hanson’s claims inquiry about whether or not there was a link between terrorism and refugee intake, Duncan Lewis, Director General of ASIO, stated that "We’ve had a thousand or so refugees come…and very few of them have become subjects of interest from ASIO and terrorist planning”. Here, ‘subject of interest’ acts as an euphemism, implying that there have been some refugees who have been suspected of being terrorists. However, Lewis refrains from using the pejorative term ‘terrorist’ to avoid generalisations whilst also trying to disguise the fact that there is some connection between refugees and acts of terrorism [tbh I’m not sure if this is relevant as I don’t really see how ’subject of interest’ is euphemistic; perhaps find a better example to use in this paragraph. If you’d like, ‘marriage equality’ in comparison to ’gay marriage' offers an extensive and interesting discussion for Eng land, and given our current political climate, it’s pretty relevant]. Additionally, euphemisms are put in place [find a better phrase] depending on the desired effect on its audience. For example, Australian politicians employ the dysphemistic term ‘slaughter of innocent’ when referring to terror attacks on the Australian community. In contrast, terms such as ‘peacekeeping efforts’ and ‘collateral damage’ are used when describing the killings of other nations by our own people. These euphemistic terms attempts to position society into viewing the killings as something that is needed to ensure a ‘peaceful’ outcome, and therefore, help aid the social ties within Australia [I think you should really expand on this example as it’s really good and fruitful, so maybe take another sentence or two to fully unpack it]. [insert linking sentence].
My advice: pretty good BP; you just need to work on expanding on your ideas and examples. Also, include a quote(s) in this paragraph.


Despite its role in promoting social cohesion in the Australian community, euphemisms can obfuscate and lead to confusion as they are simply ‘unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne’. Earlier this year, Daniel Andrews, MP, declared that he wants to pass the ‘Assisted dying bill’ in Victoria, or in more simple terms, euthanasia. In response to this, the Catholic Education office sent out messages to Catholic schools asking them to vote against the bill. A newsletter sent to the parents of St. Joseph’s School stated that ‘Euphemisms such as ‘assisted dying’ and ‘dying with dignity’ are being hailed as acts of compassion, yet, with the sugar coating removed, euthanasia is about actively killing someone, and assisted suicide is helping someone to suicide.’ This highlights the frustration of the Catholic Church on the way in which politicians attempt to disguise the ‘ugly truth’ by making it sound less confronting and therefore leading to misinformed decision making. Furthermore, euphemistic speech can lead to confusion amongst the youth and may even lead to developing an ‘overly sensitive’ generation. An NHS trust in Scotland has called parents to stop using euphemistic terms for genitals and ‘tell it like it is’. This is because, although they are useful in avoiding embarrassing situations, they can also be problematic. For example, saying ‘Grandad has gone to sleep’ is a sensitive way of discussing the taboo of death, however, the euphemism of ‘sleep’ may cause confusion in other contexts such as telling a child that the couple got divorced because ‘he slept with another woman’. This may cause the child to wonder why such a drastic action is needed ‘because of a sleepover’. Overall, although euphemisms help aid social harmony, they also function to confuse or manipulate the truth.

Despite their role in promoting social cohesion in the Australian community, euphemisms can obfuscate and lead to confusion as they are ‘unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne’ [where is the linguist’s name?]. Earlier this year, MP Daniel Andrews put forth the ‘Assisted dying bill’ in the Victorian Parliament [correct me if I’m wrong here, I’m not too knowledgeable with this area]. or in more simple terms, euthanasia. In response to this, the Catholic Education office sent out messages to Catholic schools asking them to vote against the bill; for instance, newsletters were sent to the parents of St. Joseph’s School, stating, ‘Euphemisms such as ‘assisted dying’ and ‘dying with dignity’ are being hailed as acts of compassion, yet, with the sugar coating removed, euthanasia is about actively killing someone, and assisted suicide is helping someone to suicide.’ This highlights the frustration of the Catholic Church in the way in which politicians attempt to disguise the ‘ugly truth’ (try be a bit more neutral with your political opinions...) by making it sound less confronting and therefore leading to misinformed decision making. Furthermore, euphemistic speech can lead to confusion amongst the youth and may even lead to developing an ‘overly sensitive’ generation. An NHS trust in Scotland has called parents to stop using euphemistic terms for genitals and ‘tell it like it is’. This is because, although they are useful in avoiding embarrassing situations, they can also be problematic. For example, saying ‘Grandad has gone to sleep’ is a sensitive way of discussing the taboo of death, however, the euphemism of ‘sleep’ may cause confusion in other contexts such as telling a child that the couple got divorced because ‘he slept with another woman’ [What has this got to do with the NHS trust and avoiding euphemisms for genitals?]. This may cause the child to wonder why such a drastic action is needed ‘because of a sleepover’ [this seems a bit like a stretch; if you want to validity your assertions, please use linguist quotes]. Although euphemisms help aid social harmony, they also function to confuse or manipulate the truth.
Advice: you need linguist quotes for strong assertions, and you need to mention the actual linguistic that said the quote.


Euphemistic speech continues to play a pivotal role in social interactions between people as well as in public language; they provide alternative ways to discussing taboo topics or as a way to reduce offence, thus encouraging social harmony between different groups. However, in some cases, its use functions to complicate or disguise the semantic truth.

The essay was pretty good, I think that overall you should link back to the idea of enhancing ’social fabric’ so that you don’t digress from the topic. IMO, I would give the essay a 9-12/15: looking at the VCAA criteria, there wasn’t much metalanguage in your essay, there were some issues with written expression, and most importantly, your analysis of your examples and were lacking at times.
« Last Edit: August 08, 2017, 04:19:46 pm by mtDNA »


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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #247 on: August 08, 2017, 04:16:55 pm »
+10
Hi lillianmaher; as above, I’m just another year 12 Eng-Lang student so please take my advise with a grain of salt. Therefore, it would be appreciated if another AN user could review my corrections. With your SAC, I hope it went well - although I’m correcting it now, it will be useful to keep this essay as it will help for exam revision, given a similar essay question pops up.

Prompt: Australian English is inventive and playful and reflects our national identity. To what extent do you agree?

Australian English (AuE) is a unique dialect of English, which is inventive and playful and reflects the national identity of Australia. Australian English has evolved over the years, beginning at the arrival of the First Fleet, and is continually developing and adapting according to global and national trends. Australian English is a construct that represents national identity both on Australian shores and beyond, as it reflects the many different aspects and influences on Australia, in an inventive and playful manner. The influences on AuE include the arrival of the First Fleet, Aboriginal English and the many ethnolects present in Australia, which have impacted, and continue to play a significant role in the expression of national identity, in addition to the abundance of Australian slang and colloquialisms.

Australian English (AuE) is a unique dialect of English, which is inventive and playful and reflects the national identity of Australia [just personal preference: I wouldn’t copy the prompt word for word in my contention sentence, so try think of synonyms. Apart from that, it's a good topic sentence]. Australian English has evolved over the years, beginning at the arrival of the First Fleet, and is continually developing and adapting according to global and national trends. It is a construct that represents national identity both on Australian shores and beyond, as it reflects the many different aspects and influences on Australia, in an inventive and playful manner [again, find synonyms]. The influences on AuE include the arrival of the First Fleet, Aboriginal English and the many ethnolects present in Australia, which have impacted, and continue to play a significant role in the expression of national identity, in addition to the abundance of Australian slang and colloquialisms.
Advice: apart from synonyms, it’s a pretty solid intro, so good job!


When the First Fleet arrived in 1788, the inventive and playful manner of what is now Australian English was first shown. British soldiers and convicts from Britain, Ireland and Scotland all arrived with the First Fleet, with each having their own accents and dialects of English. However, it was the children from the First Fleet and later arriving ships which were responsible for the creation of the ‘Foundation Accent’ (The Language of Australia). This new accent morphed the accents of the convicts, settlers, squatters and soldiers, as the children would talk more like each other and less like their parents. This new foundation accent gave identity to Australians it was unique, and, being created by the children showed playful and rebellious language. However, at the time of Federation in 1901, the Australian accent was disfavoured, with it being said that Australians that spoke with this accent, ‘don’t know how to speak.’ (The Language of Australia) Elocution classes were introduced to teach children, and adults, the British Received Pronunciation, and the development of the Cultivated Accent occurred. The Australian accent did not appear in Australian film nor television, with the British Broadcasting Company only employing speakers with the British accent. It was not until the 1970’s when speaking with an Australian accent became accepted, as people wanted to be proud of their heritage. Thus being so, the Australian accent today, is as reflection of the history of Australia, and the playful language created by the children of the First Fleet, being a proud marker of national identity.

When the First Fleet arrived in 1788, the inventive and playful manner of what is now Australian English was first exhibited. British soldiers and convicts from Britain [I’m not too sure, but does Britain encompass Scotland?], Ireland and Scotland all arrived with the First Fleet, with each having their own accents and dialects of English. However, it was the children from the First Fleet and later arriving ships which were responsible for the creation of the ‘Foundation Accent’ (The Language of Australia). This new accent morphed the accents of the convicts, settlers, squatters and soldiers, as the children would talk more like each other and less like their parents. This new foundation accent gave identity to Australians since it was unique, and, being created by the children showed playful and rebellious language. However, at the time of Federation in 1901, the Australian accent was disfavoured, with it being said that Australians that spoke with this accent, ‘don’t know how to speak.’ (The Language of Australia) Elocution classes were introduced to teach children and adults the British Received Pronunciation, thereby culminating in the Cultivated Accent. Additionally, the Australian accent did not appear in Australian film nor television, with the British Broadcasting Company only employing speakers with the British accent. It was not until the 1970’s when speaking with an Australian accent became accepted, as people wanted to be proud of their heritage. As such, the Australian accent today is as reflection of our social history and the playful language synthesised by the children of the First Fleet, being a proud marker of national identity.
Advice: About the history: mention the cultural cringe movement (with respect to the resentment towards the Broad accent and the Cultivated being an aspiration, also mention for OVERT prestige and link to Higher socioeconomic status). More importantly: Try to link our colonial past with our current values of egalitarianism, larrikinism, mateship, etc. and explain how these reverberate in our language in modern society (i.e. make the essay CONTEMPORARY). In this paragraph, it is too focused on the history of Australian English, with little focus on the actual prompt, so in effect you’re not really addressing the crux of the question (there isn’t an extensive discussion on national identity/Aust English being playful or inventive). That being said, I can understand where you are coming from as I did the same thing when I wrote an essay about Aust. English. So in essence: this is EL, not history. Apart from that, you expression is great.


Aboriginal English (AbE) is another dialect of English which is a major influence on our national identity. Arising from the need to communicate with the English speaking settlers who arrived in Australia in the 18th Century, Aboriginal English was developed, influenced by the 250 Indigenous Languages that were present at the time of colonisation. Currently, Aboriginal English is spoken by more than 80% of Aboriginal Australians as their main English. There are systematic phonological correspondences between the sound system of AbE and the sound system of Standard Australian English. Features of AbE include a more elaborated pronoun system, with ‘you’ referring to one person, and ‘you-mob’ referring to more than one person. There is also an optional inflection number, where s does not have to be added to show a plural, if the sentence already indicates a plural, for example, ‘Three cat.’ There is also an optional copula, where ‘she busy’ would be used as opposed to ‘she is busy.’ There are also many phonological features of AbE, including no ‘h’ sounds, with ‘f’, ‘v,’ and ‘th’ sounds being rare, as ‘f’ and ‘v’ are pronounced as ‘p’ or ‘b’.  There are lexical differences in Aboriginal English, with ‘debil-debil’ meaning evil spirit, ‘grow up’ meaning raise a child and ‘charging on’ referring to drinking. Aboriginal societies are multi-lingual, and will vary the dialect they speak depending the identity they wish to express. Aboriginal English plays an important role in the expression of National identity, and reflects the cultural diversity that exists in the nation.

Aboriginal English (AbE) is another dialect of English which is a major influence on our national identity. Arising from the need to communicate with the English speaking settlers who arrived in Australia in the 18th Century, Aboriginal English was developed, influenced by the 250 Indigenous Languages that were present at the time of colonisation. Currently, Aboriginal English is spoken by more than 80% of Aboriginal Australians as their main English. There are systematic phonological correspondences between the sound system of AbE and the sound system of Standard Australian English. Features of AbE include a more elaborated pronoun system, with ‘you’ referring to one person, and ‘you-mob’ referring to more than one person. There is also an optional inflection number, where s does not have to be added to show a plural, if the sentence already indicates a plural, for example, ‘Three cat.’ There is also an optional copula, where ‘she busy’ would be used as opposed to ‘she is busy.’ There are also many phonological features of AbE, including no ‘h’ sounds, with ‘f’, ‘v,’ and ‘th’ sounds being rare, as ‘f’ and ‘v’ are pronounced as ‘p’ or ‘b’.  There are lexical differences in Aboriginal English, with ‘debil-debil’ meaning evil spirit, ‘grow up’ meaning raise a child and ‘charging on’ referring to drinking. Aboriginal societies are multi-lingual, and will vary the dialect they speak depending ON the identity they wish to express. Aboriginal English plays an important role in the expression of National identity, and reflects the cultural diversity that exists in the nation.
Advice: again, you don’t really address the prompt in this paragraph - this BP hasn’t explained how AbE reflects our national identity, and hasn’t explained the playful nature of AuE. However, I love the inclusion of all the metalanguage (just use the IPA for the phonemes).


Ethnolect in Australia also reflects the cultural diversity in Australia, and plays an important role in expressing the multi culturalism present in the nation. Individually, Ethnolects reveal the cultural affiliation of the speaker, however, as a whole expresses our national identity, and express the inventive and playful manner of AuE, in particular through the language of children of immigrant families. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 26.8% of the Australian population was born outside of Australia, totalling over 6 million people. By 2050, it estimated that one third of the nation’s population will be born overseas. Along with this, comes an increase in cultural diversity and the desire for individuals to freely express their cultural identity within the Australian context. Children of immigrant families are often inventive with their language, embracing their cultural heritage whilst adopting some speech patterns of AuE to conform to their peer group. This results in the development of a playful dialect, such as seen on the Australian television show, Here Come the Habibs, which portrays a Lebanese family. The show features a teenage school girl, who speaks with a Lebanese accent using lexemes associated with Lebanon, such as ‘shoo’ meaning what’s up and ‘yallah’ meaning good bye, but also features of a more modern and informal English, such as ‘I swear to God’, ‘totes’ and ‘dis.’ This combination of Ethnolect and AuE is important in displaying the identity of both immigrants, but of Australia as a wider whole.

Ethnolects in Australia also reflect our cultural diversity, playing an important role in manifesting our multicultural values. Individually, ethnolects reveal the cultural affiliation of the speaker; however, as a whole expresses our national identity, and represents the inventive and playful manner of AuE, in particular through the language of children of immigrant families. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 26.8% of the Australian population was born outside of Australia, totalling over 6 million people. By 2050, it estimated that one third of the nation’s population will be born overseas [This isn’t particularly relevant, just stating that immigrants/speakers with English as their L2 is sufficient]. Along with this, comes an increase in cultural diversity and the desire for individuals to freely express their cultural identity within the Australian context. Children of immigrant families are often inventive [find synonyms] with their language, embracing their cultural heritage whilst adopting some speech patterns of AuE to conform to their peer group. This results in the development of a playful dialect, as seen on the Australian television show Here Come the Habibs, which portrays a migrant Lebanese family living in Australia. The show features a teenage school girl who speaks with a Lebanese accent using lexemes associated with Lebanon, such as ‘shoo’ meaning 'what’s up' and ‘yallah’ meaning 'good bye', but also features of a more modern and informal English, such as ‘I swear to God’, ‘totes’ and ‘dis.’ [better use of contemporary example]. This combination of Ethnolect and AuE is important in displaying the identity of both immigrants, but of Australia as a wider whole.
Advice: I like how you have used the contemporary example; it has a nice analysis which is a huge plus. Overall, this is a good BP as you answer  the first part of the prompt. Just make sure you hone in the national identity part - I’ve noticed you have mentioned it across the essay, but there hasn’t been an extensive analysis on it.


A significant feature of Australian English is slang and colloquialisms which historically reflect the laid back, easy going and friendly nature of Australians. Slang and colloquialisms represent the very playful and inventive nature of AuE, with an Australian National University study finding that ‘using slang words … make tou more likeable to you fellow Australians.’ (Georgia Hitch) Australian slang is continually developing to reflect the values of Australians through the times, with ‘more than 16,000 Australianisms’ (Kate Burridge, The Conversation) being added to the Australian National Dictionary recently. Many of Australian slang words arise from Australia’s strong beach culture, such as ‘cossies’, ‘budgie smugglers’, ‘grommets’, and ‘nippers’. This playing and modifying words is a strong representation of playful nature of Australians, whilst further reflecting our values, such as beach culture. Diminutives are a common feature in Australian slang, including ‘ambo’, ‘truckie’, ‘uggies’, ‘barbie’ and ‘cockie,’ each with their own unique connotations which are understood by Australians. The playfulness of Australian slang plays a significant role in portraying the Australian identity.

A significant feature of Australian English is slang and colloquialisms which historically reflect the nonchalant and friendly nature of Australians. Slang and colloquialisms represent the very playful and inventive nature of AuE, with an Australian National University study finding that ‘using slang words … make you more likeable to you fellow Australians.’ (Georgia Hitch) Australian slang is continually developing to reflect the values of Australians through the times, with ‘more than 16,000 Australianisms’ (Kate Burridge, The Conversation) being recently added to the Australian National Dictionary [ such as ‘...’]. Many of Australian slang words arise from Australia’s strong beach culture, such as ‘cossies’, ‘budgie smugglers’, ‘grommets’, and ‘nippers’. This playing and modifying words [use lexemes to sound smarter :) ]is a strong representation of the playful nature of Australians, whilst further reflecting our values, such as beach culture. Hypocoristic diminutives are a common feature in Australian slang, including ‘ambo’, ‘truckie’, ‘uggies’, ‘barbie’ and ‘cockie,’ each with their own unique connotations which are understood by Australians. The playfulness of Australian slang plays a significant role in portraying the Australian identity.
Advice: although this paragraph addresses the prompt, the examples you have used are sort of ‘textbook’ examples, so try find something unique.


Australian English is the major channel for the expression of national identity, expressing the values of Australians, and their inventive and playful way of communicating. There has been, and continues to be an abundance of influences on AuE, including colonisation, Aboriginal English and Ethnolect. The use of slang and colloquialisms in AuE are an important way for Australians to express their laid back and friendly nature, and to further develop the national identity.

Overall, the essay is pretty good (hence the lack of my corrections), I just think there should be a closer link between your arguments and the prompt. For instance, BP1 doesn’t really mention anything about national identity and only touches the surface of AuE being playful and inventive, whilst BP2 just seemed like a paragraph describing the features of AbE (I couldn’t see a link to AuE and our national identity). Additionally, you should include more linguist quotes to back up your assertions. However, your written expression is great, so you definitely have the potential to write an excellent essay.


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Mapleflame

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #248 on: September 14, 2017, 06:56:41 pm »
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Does anyone have/know where to find a list of practice essay questions?
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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #249 on: September 15, 2017, 09:20:15 pm »
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Hello, Could you please correct this? The topic is The language we use says alot about our identity and the groups we belong to. Thank you.

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #250 on: September 15, 2017, 09:56:41 pm »
+5
Does anyone have/know where to find a list of practice essay questions?

Well, in my opinion, the VCAA past exams would probably be the best place to start. They have 3 different essay topics per year, so there's an enormous range of topics available there. Also all the topics have stimulus material, which allows you to practise incorporating the stimuli into your essays. Keep in mind that the content and style of the course has changed over the years, so some of the older essay topics may not reflect the current study design. However, in my opinion, most questions from about 2005/6 onwards would be applicable to the current study design.  ;D

mgoulding16

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #251 on: September 17, 2017, 01:24:53 pm »
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Hi! This is a pretty ordinary essay and I'm not confident with this topic, but if someone could give feedback that would be great! (Its AoS 2)

Language can establish a sense of individuality as well as a sense of belonging and solidarity. It can, however, also be used to gain power and prestige. Discuss.

Identity is not a fixed constant. Language enables us to construct, change and redesign our identity for different purposes. This could be our personality or establishing ourselves as part of a group, but language can also be used in order to gain power and prestige. Different groups and contexts require different varieties of language to be utilised in order to communicate effectively. Individual identity is commonly displayed through the evolving online communication platform, whereas slang and jargon promote a sense of belonging and solidarity. Power and prestige can be gained through adhering to the overt or covert norms of society, but an individual's speech repertoire and the knowledge of how to use it is the most powerful of all.

An individual's speech can be drawn upon in order to establish non-linguistic features about them. Their intelligence, aspirations and personal traits can all be assumed through idiosyncratic features of their language. The online society of the Internet is a great example of individual identity, where users have been forced to move away from the written standard, as it simulates a virtual conversation face to face, where spoken language is required. Graphic variation in online communication is reflective of natural speech patterns and personality. Punctuation, spelling and use of emojis in social media posts, all enable an individual to display their identity whilst talking to friends, or like minded people. The ellipsis (...) enables a pause of thought which would be heard in spoken language to be imagined via a text, and elongation of vowel sounds such as “sooooo” allows interlocutors to convey the tone in which the may be speaking in. These small deviances from the written standard are crucial in displaying emotion which is required in online communication, and individuals are able to manipulate them in order to best express their identity for the context.

Humans are social beings, and hence have an innate desire to be apart of groups. These circles have particular language requirements that make it easier to communicate, and in order to be included, it is essential that this language is utilised effectively. Both military and medical fields employ jargon and slang, which creates group identity and solidarity. Military jargon employs doublespeak as noted in Joel Homer’s 1979 glossary text “Jargon”, where soldiers were instructed to “render hostile personnel inoperable” rather than “kill the enemy”. Contrastively, medical jargon often consists of very specific lexemes which have no replacement in everyday language. Disease, drug and operation names all are examples of this. Both of these complex language forms are used in order to communicate effectively between members of the same group, and are hence clearly associated with these circles, even if the meaning is unknown by outsiders. 

Slang is used to purposely exclude and form barriers between those who are apart of the group and those who are not. Medical and Military slang are again very good examples of this, where the meaning is required to be kept a secret from patients or relatives of patients and superiors or civilians, respectively. This is due to the usually offensive nature of the slang, which is utilised to build rapport amongst the groups, and further reinforce their group identity. The Happy Hospitalist in states that acronyms written on handover sheets in hospital ward often contain unofficial acronyms such as “FTF” (failed to fly) for a suicide attempt, or use them as a disguise in spoken language such as ELFs (evil little fuckers) to refer to kids. Similarly, although there are many official acronyms in Military slang such as AWOL (absent without leave) and NLT (no later than), there are many that have been coined by the soldiers themselves such as “SCRAN” (Shit Cooked by the Royal Australian Navy) and “RHIP” (Rank Has Its Privileges). These are obviously required to be kept a secret from superiors, but build rapport amongst those who understand it. The language in both of these cases ensure group solidarity and form in group membership which allows them to cope with the high stress level of their work environment.

Both the dominant and broad communities have norms which when adhered to, give power to those who use them. This is due to the prestige associated with the language within that community. The covert norms of particular sociolects and social circles, such as young teenage males, vary drastically from what be considered appropriate by the dominant community. For example, many young Australian teenagers have replaced the mode of address “mate” with the strong dysphemism “cunt” such as “Hey cunts!”. This word has been deemed as “not as offensive” in Australia as it may be in Britain or America, during a court case in August 2017, yet a majority of the population reject use of the word. This mode of address is associated with this sub group however, and those who use it correctly gain prestige and power within the circle, but not outside within the dominant community. In contrast, Standard Australian English is associated with power, wealth and education., and hence so too are the people who use it. These things are held in high regard by many people, and so it gains overt prestige.

Having a wide speech repertoire and the ability to apply it to multiple situations is what allows our individual and group identities to be established. Language enables us to develop all of our identities and vary them depending on the platforms through which we communicate, the people with whom we are communicating and the image we wish to portray. The varying groups and subgroups within our Australian society all have standards of their own and require different language choices in order to establish power and prestige amongst the circle with whom we wish to communicate. Our language choices allow for our identity to be fluid, not rigid, and hence it serves multiple purposes.

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #252 on: September 17, 2017, 02:18:53 pm »
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(Well, here are my thoughts on the essay. Generally, you need to be wary of using 'absolutes', saying that something definitely leads to something else. Also, using some 2017 Australian examples would add depth to your essay, and it's something the VCAA assessors seem to love.)

Our speech holds an important function of displaying our identity as well as more obvious functions of communicating our views. Gender has a major influence on the way we construct our language due to the differing social pressures and stereotypes. Many characteristics specific to an individual are intertwined in our idiolect. The sound of socio economic classes from the Bogan stereotype to business man can be easily identified. Information about geographical background is also prevalent in our slang and accent especially places where these geographical sociolects should much variance over a short distance. (well I'm not really sure what you're trying to say in the last section)
To start off, a clear difference in individual’s identity is gender which is clearly displayed in language. (clear difference? If I gave you a transcript of someone talking, chances are you wouldn’t be able to tell me their gender. So try and use ‘softer’ language e.g. language can reflect a person’s gender) This difference has its roots in the ideals that society lay down for us. Of course not everyone follows them, but exploring some strong features give us insight into assumptions made about identity. Women tend to stick closer to the standard and adhere to their interlocutors’ negative face needs. This is shown through their use of hedging expressions like ‘sort of’ and polite forms like indirect request ‘would you by any chance like to give me a lift’ (an article I recently read said that there was no real difference in male vs. female language. Some sources would be great here if you’re going to state these variations) and euphemism ‘senior’ or ‘postmenopausal’ instead of ‘old’. (again, I would be quite surprised if there was a distinct gender split around use of “senior”) James Button wrote in (in when?) that ‘the sound of girls’ soccer is ‘sorry … sorry… sorry’’, their frequent apologies show that from a young age girls don’t want to impose or else they will look pushy and overly confident. In contrast, men may rely on not attending to the face needs of others and using nonstandard features to maintain a ‘macho man’ image where they use colloquial expressions especially in the form of expletives like ‘fair dinkum’ (‘fair dinkum’ is an expletive??) and swearing. (but a 2016 study concluded that women swear more than men...) In this way the lingo of males and females differ and this aspect of individual’s identity can be determined. (okay, in my opinion, I’m not the biggest fan of gender identity paragraphs. This is just because I think that most other factors, e.g. ethnicity, age, class, influence a person’s language more. Also, you need to be really careful about not making an generalisations, something VCAA assessors have said in the past)
Stereotypically, a straight forward continuum that is used to determine the socio-economic class of an individual or group is their degree of standard language used. (again, this is making it seem like there’s a definite correlation between, say, the broad accent and a lower socioeconomic status. However, this is not always the case) Higher classes use what they would call ‘Proper English’ to gain overt prestige over the majority. This is because standard features such as using correct grammar like ‘ such fun’ and furthermore, elevated, elongated adjectives like ‘marvellous’ and ‘atrocious’ are linked with power, education and wealth. Alternatively, lower socio-economic status could be assumed when one has a broader accent and uses slang especially Australian hypocorisms like ‘barbie’ (hypocorism really only refers to diminutives of people’s names, so “barbie” would not be one) and ‘Davo’ and frequent explicit terms. However, these features do also embody ‘more human qualities like integrity, social attractiveness and friendliness’ according to Kate Burridge. Where ever a person falls in the continuum (which continuum?) an extension of their traits will be judged as they are undeterminably intertwined (again, avoid absolute language like this. No doubt there’s some people of a high socioeconomic class who speak like ‘bogans’) and they are categorised in a group.
Finally, our geographical background also impacts the way we speak and has a way of accepting and excluding others. This is shown perfectly in the quote from Matt Campbell ‘If you’re from Melbourne, you’ll know Bay 13 is the possie at the ‘G where yobbos piff tinnies and go home in the back of a divvy van’’. The shortening of ‘Melbourne cricket ground’ to ‘G’ and diminutives ‘yobbo’ and ‘tinnies’ would only be recognisable to those who live in the area. (but I reckon all Australians would be able to understand these terms...) In fact, because of this it is more special to the group because no one else would be able to understand in order to be part of conversation. (in my opinion, socioeconomic status would be more important in understanding the quote, not geography) It is common that lexemes denoting place are reduced like the shopping centres ‘chaddy’ and ‘southy’ and ‘franga’ which has a further connotation of lower socioeconomic class because it is commonly used in its diminutive form. (but what about diminutives like 'pollie' and 'Tassie' and 'veggie'? Just because it's a diminutive doesn't mean it's 'bogan') Accent is also a major marker of place; not significantly in Australia because there isn’t much regional variation but more so in America and England. (I would be hesitant to use examples from abroad; VCAA places a big emphasis on talking about Australian English and using Australia-centric examples) Since there is such variety in a relatively small area, accent can be a major factor in separation of groups and ‘It signals identification with one group and rejection of another’ as quoted from G.moodie.
Overall, the way in which we perceive others is greatly influenced by our manner of speaking. It can differ as different groups like gender, place of origin and socioeconomic group share different nonstandard tendencies. When an individual uses these features they show their in-group membership and show solidarity and in this way are include and in turn exclude others.

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #253 on: September 17, 2017, 02:55:18 pm »
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@Sarah.99

I'm also an Eng lang student so I'm not an expert but I've provided some comments.
Mainly I think you should focus on phrasing, for example, I can tell that you don't think that language is absolutely determined by gender, but in your writing you sometimes act as if that is the case. I would also work on choosing relevant examples, and controlled use of writing conventions

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #254 on: September 19, 2017, 08:34:25 pm »
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I am only a fellow year 12 student with very little essay writing experience
Language can establish a sense of individuality as well as a sense of belonging and solidarity. It can, however, also be used to gain power and prestige. Discuss.


Identity is not a fixed constant. Language enables us to construct, change and redesign our identity for different purposes. This could be our personality or establishing ourselves as part of a group, but language can also be used in order to gain power and prestige. Different groups and contexts require different varieties of language to be utilised in order to communicate effectively. Individual identity is commonly displayed through the evolving online communication platform Pretty sure that there are multiple online communication platforms. Maybe consider "evolving use of the intenet as a medium for communication", whereas personal preference, I'm not a fan of the way this has been structured as oppositional ideas, especially since slang and jargon are VERY VERY common on the internet.    I would also slightly prefer for you to say here that "slang and jargon are used to construct group identity"   because they are also used to alienate, and your clause doesn't show that. slang and jargon promote a sense of belonging and solidarity. Power and prestige can be gained through adhering to the overt or covert norms of society, but why is a contrast being drawn here?an individual's speech repertoire and the knowledge of how to use it is the most powerful of all.

An individual's speech can be drawn upon in order to establish non-linguistic features about them. Their intelligence, aspirations and personal traits can all be assumedthankyou for saying assumed rather than acting as if conclusion drawn were fact through idiosyncratic features of their language. The online society of the Internet is a great example of individual identity, where users have been forced to move away from the written standard, as it simulates a virtual conversation face to face, where spoken language is required the idea of this sentence is good, but it needs work on execution. Graphic variation in online communication is reflective of natural speech patterns and personality. Punctuation, spelling and use of emojis in social media posts, all enable an individual to display their identity whilst talking to friends, or like minded people. The ellipsis (...) enables a pause of thought which would be heard in spoken language to be imagined via a text, and elongation of vowel sounds such as “sooooo” allows interlocutors to convey the tone in which the may be speaking in. These small deviances deviations from the written standard are crucial in displaying emotion which is required in online communication all online communication? Would you expect emojis when reading the ToS of an online game?, and individuals are able to manipulate them in order to best express their identity for the context.

Humans are social beings, and hence have an innate desire to be apartfix this of groups. These circleswhen did geometry feature in this?  :P      should probably add the word social in there have particular language requirements would expectations be a better word? that make it easier to communicate, and in order to be included, it is essential that this language is utilised effectively. Both military and medical fields employ jargon and slang, which creates group identity and solidarity. Military jargon employs doublespeak as noted in Joel Homer’s 1979 glossary text “Jargon”, where soldiers were instructed to “render hostile personnel inoperable” rather than “kill the enemy”is the purpose of this paticular phrase to promote group membership? Or is it only to obfuscate?. Contrastively In contrast, , medical jargon often consists of very specific lexemes which have no replacement in everyday language. Disease, drug and operation names all are examples of this. Both of these complex language forms are used in order to communicate effectively between members of the same group, and are hence clearly associated with these circles,put "even if" before "and are hence" for clarity even if the meaning is unknown by outsiders. 

Slang is can be used to purposely exclude and form barriers between those who are apart of the group and those who are not. Medical and Military why capitals? slang are again very good examples of this, where the meaning is required to be kept a secret from patients or relatives of patients and superiors or civilians, respectively. This is due to the usually offensive nature of the slang, which is utilised to build rapport amongst the groups, and further reinforce their group identity. The Happy Hospitalist in states that acronyms written on handover sheets in hospital ward often contain unofficial acronyms such as “FTF” (failed to fly) for a suicide attempt, or use them as a disguise in spoken language such as ELFs (evil little fuckers) to refer to kids. Similarly, although there are many official acronyms in Military slang such as AWOL (absent without leave) and NLT (no later than), there are many that have been coined by the soldiers themselves such as “SCRAN” (Shit Cooked by the Royal Australian Navy) and “RHIP” (Rank Has Its Privileges). These are obviously required to be kept a secret from superiors, but build rapport amongst those who understand it. The language in both of these cases ensure group solidarity and form in group membership which allows them to cope with the high stress level of their work environment.

Both the dominant and broad ??? communities have norms which when adhered to, give power to those who use them. This is due to the prestige associated with the language within that community. The covert norms of particular sociolects and social circles, such as young teenage males, vary drastically from what be considered appropriate by the dominant community. For example, many young Australian teenagers have replaced the mode of address “mate” with the strong dysphemism “cunt” such as “Hey cunts!”. This word has been deemed as “not as offensive” in Australia as it may be in Britain or America, during a court case in August 2017, yet a majority of the population reject use of the word. This mode of address is associated with this sub group however, and those who use it correctly gain prestige and power within the circle, but not outside within phrasing is a bit awkward the dominant community. In contrast, Standard Australian English is associated with power
 you say you are contrasting but then mention something common to both?
, wealth and education., and hence so too are the people who use it. These things are held in high regard by many people, and so it gains overt prestige.

Having a wide speech repertoire and the ability to apply it to multiple situations is what allows our individual and group identities to be established. Language enables us to develop all of our identities and vary them depending on the platforms through which we communicate, the people with whom we are communicating and the image we wish to portray. The varying groups and subgroups within our Australian society all have standards of their own and require different language choices in order to establish power and prestige amongst the circle with whom we wish to communicate. Our language choices allow for our identity to be fluid, not rigid, and hence it serves multiple purposes.
This is my favourite out of all of your paragraphs

I suspect that you may be better off having more analysis in each paragraph even if you need to reduce the amount of paragraphs 

Hope this helps at all :)