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March 28, 2024, 06:58:44 pm

Author Topic: HSC Journal- The Final Years of School  (Read 19696 times)

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clovvy

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Re: HSC Journal- The Final Years of School
« Reply #15 on: March 30, 2018, 02:18:01 pm »
+4
Half yearlies surely stress me out to the point of difficulty sleeping and have my daily thoughts disrupted, well at least I have seen the councellor and have come up with plans on tackling them... 
Whenever I feel anxious, I know it can hinder my overall progress so I tried to keep telling myself a little progress is far better than none at all... 

So I decided to:
1.write all of my worries
2.write the causes and reason
3.write down the current situation
4.write down possible solutioms
5.execute it, and put worry aside (which is not easy tbh)....

So today I felt better than my usual mornings with this approach, and knowing that creative is my weakest, I decided to practice for 40 minutes and see how I go (a friend is also there)..  I am using the Sydney Girls 2016 paper as a stimulus and it went terribly...  I recognize how weak I am in it, as well as my lack of vocabulary and ability to comprehend texts for short responses....  I got stressed but I have to keep telling myself it is better to know sooner than later...  I know I am struggling now but I can still do better in the actual exam
... I have to keep telling myself that...

I may have a perfectionist attitude and prone to ditch drafts if I hate it...  So my progress is very very slow.. 

Same goes for physics as I have difficulty understanding and remembering contents... I panicked and it did affect me for days, so I write about that too and do more passpapers open book at first..  I am scared but that will not help..   So I just have to do what I have to do..

Now it seems that the  HSC is more about mind game than it is about content as the syllabus is there and it tells you exactly what I needed to know, so remaining positive must be something I struggled with the most..
2018 HSC: 4U maths, 3U maths, Standard English, Chemistry, Physics

jamonwindeyer

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Re: HSC Journal- The Final Years of School
« Reply #16 on: March 30, 2018, 11:57:35 pm »
+1
I like that you've got strategies in place to keep yourself healthy Clovvy, and to get yourself geared up for exams.

Half yearlies are seriously no big deal, definitely not worth getting stressed about. Work as hard as you can, keep yourself feeling good, and whatever happens happens - Just one chance out of many to do well this year ;D

clovvy

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Re: HSC Journal- The Final Years of School
« Reply #17 on: April 09, 2018, 02:10:41 pm »
+1
Update on exams:
Basically I know that in exams it won't help if you are anxious as it hinders your performace on the day and won't let you think clearly. It is evident with my performance. First week I felt no anxiety at all for Physics which let me think more clearly. My 2U exam I have a little bit of anxiety that doesn't hurt much.

Today I had english, I have prepared for my essay and my creative which is not too great... In the exam and before the exam, I conditioned myself to not be anxious and keep telling myself I will do better this half yearly than my year 11 half yearly as I have prepared more... But the opposite seems true as I get anxious after 40 minutes and as a result it eats away 1 hour of my exam as I froze and could not write after not being able to answer 2 of the short response question (I am slow at interpreting and analysing)... The anxiety left me virtually no time for creative and I only finished my intro and incomplete first and second paragraph for essay... I was devastated because the question works very nicely with my prepared essay.... I have lost about 23 marks and most likely lost most of my marks in the essay and bits and pieces of mistakes in my short responses.... I was horrified at the end as I have indeed prepared for this exam yet anxiety gets the good of me, it took me one hour to really remove the anxiety that hinders me from working... That whole paper 1 was horrific, not because it was hard.. But it was because of anxiety attack that came out of nowhere from merely going over 40 minutes for short response... as a result I failed to maximise my marks... Right after the exam, I decided to see the councellor where we chatted for a few hours.. She told me that she is more than willing to help if there is a possibility appeal and I by the way she sees it, I do suffer from anxiety (my summer holidays became unproductive because of this too, I did not relax yet I am not getting much work done because of it, it was prolonged and it took tremendous amount of effort to put it aside, which is why I was able to cope with physics which arguably is one of my weakest yet fail to do so with english)... Therefore she suggested that if possible I should make an appeal and get a misadventure form signed and get a doctor certificate (I haven't been to doctors for these kind of stuff after year 11)..., I refused to get special provision simply because I believe I do not deserve it at all, and that I have no mental illness of any sort.. Even though I was given the suggestion to appeal, I do not believe I have any right to do so as I do procrastinate a lot with my own fingernails (yeah one of those habits do distract me, I tried on multiple occasions to resist it)... Assuming 0 out of 15% (definitely not 0, I should get marks here and there somewhere), I have lost 1% and 4.5% on my previous assessments for english... To make up for this for a band 6 or high band 5, I might need to get 100% on ALL of my other assessments which seems impossible... Therefore I do wonder if there is any possiblity to make up for this (my rank definitely drops drastically from here)

Now I have no time to stress and learn to move on for my next exams,I learn this from first hand experience in term 1...  Now I do wonder if I should get an appointment with a GP or not
2018 HSC: 4U maths, 3U maths, Standard English, Chemistry, Physics

jamonwindeyer

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Re: HSC Journal- The Final Years of School
« Reply #18 on: April 09, 2018, 07:43:36 pm »
0
Here I am sitting at my study table still feeling the impact of that exam... The devastation of paper 1 discovery for half yearlies.. I cannot bear how I lost 1 hour to anxiety where if I keep calm, I could at least finish with my essay as the question works with my essay..... That got into my study for my next exam which is not good, and at the same time I do feel that I need to find a way to calm down... tomorrow is my extension 1 followed by chemistry on the same day. Extension 2 after that.... Now now I just hope anxiety did not get the good of me again like it did for english....... In all honesty, this half yearly do make me feel like the atar goal of 97-98+ is drifting away due to that english exam for paper 1 but I cannot let that get into me, I have read Jamon's article about half yearlies over and over again, desperately trying to keep positive regardless of situation... man this sucks!!...

Don't despair, you are jumping to conclusions before you've gotten results! They probably won't be as bad as you think ;D

Best of luck for the rest of the exams. Stay positive!

dcesaona

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Re: HSC Journal- The Final Years of School
« Reply #19 on: April 10, 2018, 05:31:55 pm »
+1
I can relate to you so much at the moment. I do english standard as well and I am determined (as you are) to get a band 6! In fact, I think I may have read a sampler of your creative that you posted in one of the forums - and I think I commented on it with improvements!  ;) Btw, I remember really loving it! Anyways, I get really anxious, like you, about exams and I have the same strategy. I write down what's stressing me out (I do this on ATAR notes as well as in a physical diary so I can get down more details etc.) A problem I have (which I don't think you do, having read almost all of your posts in this thread) is motivation, so I also include a quote at the end of every entry haha.
2018 HSC

clovvy

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Re: HSC Journal- The Final Years of School
« Reply #20 on: April 13, 2018, 08:22:15 pm »
+1
Update, as usual I woke up with anxiety but I am learning how to control it, it is a struggle indeed especially I had an oral assessment today...  I also have seen a doctor regarding my anxiety issue as my school councellor have suggested me, and the vice principal approved it as I have a legitimate doctor certificate, which means my half yearly marks will be moderated instead based on my current ranks and overall performance so far...   Well that aside, today I have an oral task to perform, so first thing I calm myself down and I proceed to execute it...  I manage to do well in my eye contact and I am positive that my content should be good... 

However, the impact of how I went badly in extension 2 was a misery to me...  Judging from the difficulty of the exam and how I would roughly estimate 20/60 worth of work at most ignoring mistakes is devastating, considering that it weighs 20% and my current position being 2/2 although we only differ by 1% for the first assessment...  This have drastically reduced my possibility of E4.... I don't even know why I choose it in the first place, not that I hated the subject at all, I quite liked it...  However, I am terribly demotivated by my current performance (I wasn't told my marks yet, judging from the way my teacher spoke to me I didn't do well) ...

All of the fail stories I read are not as severe as these...   Which is why I am terribly stressed out, in fact I deeply regretted not dropping out sometimes..   Even worse I do find myself losing the will to live even which I tried to surpress.... Of course I am aware no one can help me with this but myself, which is why I rarely post and I do not seek help at all until I no longer able to take it... The fact that I am stuck with 10 units is even worse as I can't drop anything, not that I really want to drop 4U considering the amount of money I spent on it... 
2018 HSC: 4U maths, 3U maths, Standard English, Chemistry, Physics

clovvy

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Re: HSC Journal- The Final Years of School
« Reply #21 on: April 29, 2018, 06:44:20 pm »
+1
Guys, sorry for my rants below, I just want to let it all out...

Despite my best effort to learn how to manage anxiety, I have failed to have complete control over it in 2 weeks as it turns out to be mood swings instead....  I have had both good and bad sleeps over the holidays as I know over working will cause myself to not function properly...  Despite my best effort to overcome them, I still see my inability to fully concentrate on task at hand and cannot control my anger in the middle of work, which became a problem (there is a long story for this, but I wouldn't dare to post it here as I am afraid that I may breach the AN policy since it is pretty dark, also afraid of getting dislikes by others and mods for my wickedness)...

Today the first thing that happens when I woke up is fear for tomorrow is the first day of school.... I am very scared... Over the holidays I have had mood swings between using my failures as an advantage to push harder and motivate myself, and fearing of failure and what happen when I did not get my desired atar and failing to prove myself and as time goes I am starting to see questions as intimidating rather than interesting, and my star goal getting further and further away from me...  What is even more disturbing is I do search up suicide rates related to the hsc and have found 3 people doing that last year, and I am starting to see  that mindset occuring as well as I can't take it anymore... However I am too scared to tell my relatives about these and am afraid to tell my parents about it (particularly my dad since he is pretty hard)... The difficulty of keeping a positive attitude is very disturbing to me, and I am also disgusted with myself over the past mistakes I have made which shows that I can't fully forgive myself...  I have seen the councellor before and I have had doctor certificate for my half-yearly exam...  I am planning to see the school councellor again about this... It seems like it's getting out of hand...

I know for sure that nobody can change me, I am the only one under control over everything which is why I decided to not write anything at AN when I am frustrated over something for I fear that my posts will annoy a lot of people.. I know nobody like to be around negative people either...  In all honesty I haven't found a meaningful purpose for my desired degree apart from prestige among others and refusal to be oppressed and being looked down upon and ridiculed by others....  I do believe only I can help myself, yet I am not seeing much progress in myself after the two weeks holidays apart from vaguely understanding stuff that I am weak at and not fully mastering them..  I don't think I will rest even for the hsc (apart from sleep)... Sometimes I do wonder if I have gone mentally insane
2018 HSC: 4U maths, 3U maths, Standard English, Chemistry, Physics

clovvy

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Re: HSC Journal- The Final Years of School
« Reply #22 on: May 01, 2018, 02:22:09 pm »
+1
30 April 2018
I had a terrible 8 hour sleep still with disappointments in mind, and out of the blue a friend of mine who dropped out of TAFE called me and desperately asked me for help with differentiation of trig functions, logs and exponentials... I agreed to help him and decided to find a spot at UNSW library (both of us live around the area)... and he decided to bring his classmate too.... before I get started they explained the situation how they have an exam unnotified and given worksheets to do without the contents being taught, therefore I teach them from scratch to make sure they understand the contents... as I look through the worksheets I saw curve sketching questions too so I decided to teach them how to do them, beginning from the basis of differentiation into finding stationary points and concavities. took me about 6 hours altogether... They were very thankful to me and told me "you literally saved out lives dude, thanks".... I don't really take those statements seriously but I do feel a lot better after that, it made me happy that the skills I have learned can be useful to others in a sense (not that I am a high achiever myself)...
2018 HSC: 4U maths, 3U maths, Standard English, Chemistry, Physics

clovvy

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Re: HSC Journal- The Final Years of School
« Reply #23 on: May 01, 2018, 02:54:44 pm »
+1
1 May 2017

First day back to school, I received my half yearly marks:
Physics: 30/60-(weighs 20%)
Chemistry: 30/60-(weighs 20%)
3U maths: 20/35-(weighs 30%) 3/3
4U maths: haven't got it back-definitely fail
English: 11/15 orals (15%), Half yearlies 16/45-raw (covered by doctor certificate- total 15% worth)

Extremely disappointed and the fact that I WORK MY ASS OFF HARDER THAN SOME WHO DID BETTER is extremely frustrating, particularly the sciences (where a lot of people do fail and the questions are similar to that of HSC style), maths I lose a lot of marks from silly mistakes and the effect of english on the day (extremely disappointed).... My atar goal is getting further and further away from me and possibly may not even get to the course that I wanted... a band 5 in everything only gives me a 91 atar (possibly lower judging from atar calculators inaccuracy at times), far from my atar goal that I wanted... I may potentially need to get 100% for every single assessments in the future which is too unrealistic or next to impossible with the way I am now... I have read Opengang's article but my atar goal is much higher than that for advanced science/law degree (and for other reasons too)....

At times I do feel like killing myself as I cannot handle these anymore, I do research on how to end myself quickly as I don't really have anyone in mind that I truly care for... However I am a coward, which is why I wished to drop out in the first place from the beginning to start it all again, at times I do fear eternity in hell which is ironic.... All of my ambitions and desire is all based on proving my worth and prove other people's statements to be wrong...., I cannot bare the thought of disproving myself at the end...... Too scared to speak about it to authorities, my school councellor or anyone in mind fearing that they will end up having cops all over me and being lectured all the cliche statements (logically yes I have other options but I do not want that for the sake of my own pride)... Even if I do decide on it I probably try not to say anything beforehand or make it obvious to anyone how stressed I am at this point... probably a bit of farewells to some I have a certain level of trust with.. but that could all be my imagination...
2018 HSC: 4U maths, 3U maths, Standard English, Chemistry, Physics

Razeen25

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Re: HSC Journal- The Final Years of School
« Reply #24 on: May 01, 2018, 03:39:23 pm »
+2
1 May 2017

First day back to school, I received my half yearly marks:
Physics: 30/60-(weighs 20%)
Chemistry: 30/60-(weighs 20%)
3U maths: 20/35-(weighs 30%) 3/3
4U maths: haven't got it back-definitely fail
English: 11/15 orals (15%), Half yearlies 16/45-raw (covered by doctor certificate- total 15% worth)

Extremely disappointed and the fact that I WORK MY ASS OFF HARDER THAN SOME WHO DID BETTER is extremely frustrating, particularly the sciences (where a lot of people do fail and the questions are similar to that of HSC style), maths I lose a lot of marks from silly mistakes and the effect of english on the day (extremely disappointed).... My atar goal is getting further and further away from me and possibly may not even get to the course that I wanted... a band 5 in everything only gives me a 91 atar (possibly lower judging from atar calculators inaccuracy at times), far from my atar goal that I wanted... I may potentially need to get 100% for every single assessments in the future which is too unrealistic or next to impossible with the way I am now... I have read Opengang's article but my atar goal is much higher than that for advanced science/law degree (and for other reasons too)....

At times I do feel like killing myself as I cannot handle these anymore, I do research on how to end myself quickly as I don't really have anyone in mind that I truly care for... However I am a coward, which is why I wished to drop out in the first place from the beginning to start it all again, at times I do fear eternity in hell which is ironic.... All of my ambitions and desire is all based on proving my worth and prove other people's statements to be wrong...., I cannot bare the thought of disproving myself at the end...... Too scared to speak about it to authorities, my school councellor or anyone in mind fearing that they will end up having cops all over me and being lectured all the cliche statements (logically yes I have other options but I do not want that for the sake of my own pride)... Even if I do decide on it I probably try not to say anything beforehand or make it obvious to anyone how stressed I am at this point... probably a bit of farewells to some I have a certain level of trust with.. but that could all be my imagination...

Hii. Well I'm not really very good at talking to new people but this made me a little sad.

I can see that your half-yearly results weren't as good as you'd expected, but I'd just like to say that its alright for you to feel upset, but please don't even CONSIDER killing yourself or anything even similar. About not wanting to talk to people about it, please do. You WILL feel better!

But most of all please remember,
It's okay. It is and it will be. Half yearlies didn't mean that much and you can still improve and HSC isn't the end of the world and ATAR's don't mean so much in the end, since there are always pathways.
I'm sure you've heard all of that before but please make sure you remember it all now. I also have problems with anxiety and sleep and over stressing so if you ever need anyone to rant to/talk to, talk to me!

Please feel better!
« Last Edit: May 01, 2018, 05:32:40 pm by Razeen25 »
HSC 2018 || Biology (90) || Business Studies (94) || English Advanced (87) || Legal Studies (91) || General Mathematics 2 (95) ||
ATAR: 96.20

fantasticbeasts3

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Re: HSC Journal- The Final Years of School
« Reply #25 on: May 01, 2018, 04:52:32 pm »
+2
Hey clovvy - just following on from what Razeen25 said.

It's okay to feel crappy about your half-yearly marks, but please don't consider killing yourself. You have so much to live for as well - the HSC is only one part of it. I flunked my half yearlies real bad too. Like I got 60% for 2 subjects, and 53% for another. It's all about what you choose to do with these results - use them as motivation, or give up.

I'm telling you now, giving up is definitely not worth it. If I gave up after seeing my half-yearly results, I wouldn't be doing my dream uni course today! Put in the work, find out what you're doing wrong, talking to teachers (became my biggest supporters by the end of the year!) and friends about any problems you have really helps. Like Razeen25 said, you have so much time to improve. And always remember that the HSC isn't a true measure of your worth, and you are worth so much more than a number. :-)

All the best!
HSC 2017: English (Standard) // Mathematics // Modern History // Legal Studies // Business Studies
2018-2022: B International Studies/B Media (PR & Advertising) @ UNSW

clovvy

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Re: HSC Journal- The Final Years of School
« Reply #26 on: May 03, 2018, 09:52:23 am »
+2
After reading the replies I get after getting extremely disheartened, I tried my best to not let those thoughts get the good of me, with very little luck...

My parents knew about this, they congratulate me for passing the exam with exactly 50% after all the hard work I put in.. part of me felt relieved I am not being put down, however part of me felt insulted and that I am lacking the capacity I need... I experience countless of mood swings between keeping myself motivated to try even harder and feeling utterly devastated wish to get out of the HSC and possibly end my own life as I cannot bear it any longer.... Last night I could not sleep properly as I felt immense disappointment and experience chest pain and heavy breathings... I am a very weak individual indeed and I know I cannot trust anyone nor can anyone help my conditions but perhaps this pathetic self... And I hated to see myself the way I am now... I swear all I could do is complain ATM, what the hell am I?
2018 HSC: 4U maths, 3U maths, Standard English, Chemistry, Physics

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Re: HSC Journal- The Final Years of School
« Reply #27 on: May 03, 2018, 10:18:25 am »
+6
After reading the replies I get after getting extremely disheartened, I tried my best to not let those thoughts get the good of me, with very little luck...

My parents knew about this, they congratulate me for passing the exam with exactly 50% after all the hard work I put in.. part of me felt relieved I am not being put down, however part of me felt insulted and that I am lacking the capacity I need... I experience countless of mood swings between keeping myself motivated to try even harder and feeling utterly devastated wish to get out of the HSC and possibly end my own life as I cannot bear it any longer.... Last night I could not sleep properly as I felt immense disappointment and experience chest pain and heavy breathings... I am a very weak individual indeed and I know I cannot trust anyone nor can anyone help my conditions but perhaps this pathetic self... And I hated to see myself the way I am now... I swear all I could do is complain ATM, what the hell am I?

Hey, clovvy. I felt it was really important to me to talk straight, so here we go.

Let's stop talking about school for a moment.
First thing you need to do, right now, is breathe.
In, out. Focus on your breathing. Close your eyes and focus on the feeling of slowly and deliberately filling your lungs with air, your chest expanding. Then hold it for two seconds and breathe out in a steady stream, like blowing on hot food until you have no more air in your lungs. Then do it again, and again, until you can think straight and see what you've just written.

I know how hard it can be to live with anxiety, or severe disappointment in yourself and your abilities to deal with things that go wrong. It's okay to feel disappointed in your marks. It's not okay to continually dwell on the disappointment, because this is what's dragging you down. Try to consciously think positively. This is really hard at the start, but it gets easier. Don't sacrifice your health for your work, because in the end you're human, and no human can live on adrenaline and stress and sheer grit for long. The HSC isn't going to be nice to you, so don't be nice to it.
But please, for the love of all things sacred, be nice to yourself.

And sometimes we just need to let out our stresses and pains and negative thoughts. You're using the forum as an outlet, and that's okay. If complaining makes you feel better, go for it. And know that no matter how bad your marks are, you're still appreciated by your friends and your family - even us here on AN. And you deserve to be appreciated by yourself.

I wrote an article a while ago that I think might help you with how you feel. Please read through it and take into account what I've learned, and am still learning, from experience very similar to yours. And please tell your parents how you feel, and maybe go see a school counselor. You're not alone in this, and people can help you. You just need to take the step and get help before you can feel better about yourself. And once you're on the road to recovery, then you can reach your full potential and absolutely smash the HSC. I know you can do it, but it starts on the inside.
It starts with a deep breath in, and a long breath out.
Okay?

Peace, my friend,
~ Nina
Thoughts are only thoughts.
They are not you. You do belong to yourself,
even when your thoughts don't.

Dealing with Year 12 - Put Your Mental Health at the Forefront
A Little Guide to Healthy Eating

clovvy

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Re: HSC Journal- The Final Years of School
« Reply #28 on: May 07, 2018, 10:32:55 pm »
+3
A lot have happened since the last time I posted..... However I do not wish to write anything too long about it, therefore I will keep it as short as possible.... I did not write the past few days since I want to forget the HSC for a short period of time
4 May 2018
Regarding my suicidal thoughts, it is serious, I am not even joking about it... I did tell one of my friends who had similar experience way before the HSC and understood exactly how I felt... he even told me that I cut himself and he nearly jumped off a bridge... He also mentioned that if my mind is fixed to killing myself, I should tell him face-to-face "I'm going to kill myself". He also advised me to seek professional help, go get the school councellor or the year advisor... If not then anyone I trust... I did exactly that, and as a result the principal rang the cops on me and I got escorted all the way to Prince of Wales hospital... they shared their experience with the HSC back in 2009 and told me that it is not worth stressing at all, also mentioned that by law I have to stay at the hospital until I was deemed safe to leave.. My experience with the hospital is I would say 'weird' and it is boring since I sat there for hours starting from roughly 2 pm and managed to get out at 7pm, I told my friend exactly what happened and he also shared with me his experience at the hospital since the school did have to ring the cops on him too 3 years ago, however he specifically requested ambulance instead....  The hospital is always lacking in mental health team thus the wait took me over 4 hours.... long story short the guy did refer me to headspace, told me that I am being too hard on myself and that from his understanding I may have borderline aspergers or autism spectrum disorder or OCD which may have impacted the way I cope with anxiety and stress altogether (not severe enough to be diagnosed, however I do have the traits).. Once released I ring up one of my other pal who dropped out and invite him to have dinner with me at Metro One Kebab and ordered $22 HSP and a pide for $14.50 to let it all out... While trying to forget everything, he mentioned 'bro he beat ... and he barely studied dude' and 'bro him beating ... says a lot'... I don't know why but I do feel insulted since I put in a lot of work myself while experiencing anxiety at the same time (once anxious I get unproductive, however I forced myself into it)

My parents were aware of this as a result and told me not to worry about the HSC in the meantime and that it is no longer important for now, it is my mental health that needs to be taken care of..... To me deliberately putting work off and my mind off the HSC is challenging.. Due to the stress that I went through I consider dropping out the second time....

5-6 May 2018
I call this my 'no-work' period where I tried to forget everything HSC related.... Honestly while most find it easy to just put off work and do something fun, I struggled to keep my mind off the books.... To me it is very important, I need to do extremely well....  Yet it is not that important in the long run... why do I care about it so much?? Why do I even want to have that temporary respect and awe from my peers?? Stuff that!! IDC, I just want to have some fun for now!!! (Not that I have much luck finding it).... sometimes I do felt a bit relaxed when there is a bit of hope to drop out and start over again...

7 May 2018
Feeling aweful in the classroom, cannot focus in physics, feeling threatened in chemistry, extremely disheartened in english and uneasy in maths... there really is nothing right anymore... I remember how I came to school feeling all good, but now I just want to get out ASAP and I don't even want to come to school..... I do wish to drop out, yet everyone tried to keep me in... I hated this.... I should have dropped put earlier to be in a better headspace.... I should not listen to them.... FUCK IT!!!.... I do get to see the school councellor today, she did refer me to headspace and also set up a safety plan for me once I explained to her how I felt suicidal (there is a lot going on but just leave it at that).... When I get home I just go on my laptop and play FPS games, just stop caring for the hsc in the meantime.... In all honesty it could be just me giving up.... However when that thought came, plenty of echoes can be heard that includes if I give up, then it's all over... I still remember fantasicbeast3's post how it's not worth to give up..... with all this bullshit going on, I do wonder whether the contents are hard or it is just my anxiety killing me altogether...
2018 HSC: 4U maths, 3U maths, Standard English, Chemistry, Physics

clovvy

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Re: HSC Journal- The Final Years of School
« Reply #29 on: May 09, 2018, 07:12:52 pm »
+1
My anxiety reduced as I have hope of dropping out altogether and start fresh, even better that I can pick up English Advanced again!! Even better that despite the enrolment being closed the co-ordinator is willing to take me in!!.... My morale skyrocket, but they told me I need to unenrol from school to do that, so I went to school ASAP... I asked some people the process of dropping out and I do need letter from my parents to do so.... I could not find my year adviser and most teachers have already left by that time.. so I decided to speak to the deputy and she is somewhat shocked, so she decided to tell the principal about it..... They are really trying to keep me in badly, told me to put off the hsc and that headspace comes first, moving to TAFE midyears is not a very good idea, I have formals and graduations to attend etc etc.... however they cannot force me and they need letter from my parents and stuff.... So I decided to speak to my parents about it, contrary to what they told me, they answered 'no' because if I fail at TAFE it will be much more detrimental for myself than failing at my current high school and that I need guidance that is not offered at TAFE.... at worse a 70+ atar which is not what I wanted obviously... the fact that I need to stay because my parents refuse to write me a letter causes deep anxiety (although I knew they want the best for me)... I seriously don't know how to cope in this case, I know Jamon said that just do whatever I am comfortable with.... To me dropping out is what I am most comfortable with, but unfortunately circumstances are not letting me
« Last Edit: May 09, 2018, 07:18:42 pm by clovvy »
2018 HSC: 4U maths, 3U maths, Standard English, Chemistry, Physics