I'm not in a very good place at the moment
I've received marks I'm not very happy with for both chemistry and English.
You see, I'm happy with the actual percentages themselves, don't get me wrong
The thing is though, I'm super SUPER competitive.
Well, it's more so that I just compare myself to others too much
I put in a lot of effort into my studies. For my English creative sac, I did several practices, I read A+ creatives for my chosen text, I asked my teacher for help etc. I did the most I possibly could and to be frank I was super happy with where I was at.
I received my score, which initially I was really happy with.
However, I started to get upset realising what everyone else got. Basically, everybody else got higher than me.
The thing itself that upsets me is how others barely put any effort into their work and still get higher. One of my friends did the sac the night before and still got higher than me. Jeez, someone even did only 1 practice sac and called it a day and got 100%. I just don't understand why I'm getting punished for my marks.
The same deal happened with chemistry. My mark isn't horrible but it isn't what I wanted. However, others didn't put as much effort as I did and still got amazing scores.
I don't really know what to do at this point. My subjects are ridiculously hard and the worse I do the more unmotivated I become. I've had several mental breakdowns within the past week and I just find it so hard to manage myself at this point. I was really hoping with all of this hard work I've put in, I'd be happy at the end of term 1. I just feel like I'm being treated unfairly and I don't know what to do anymore. I know maybe my study habits should change, but I don't know where to start. I've been following every piece of advice -- do practice questions, do practice essays, ask for help etc. I do everything you could ever imagine and my efforts still pay off.
I've constantly heard of people say "if you put in the effort the results will show" but I call bullshit at this point.