Hey, I was wondering if I can get my Exchange rates essay marked.
I attached the document in this post.
I'm worried that I haven't answered the question effectively.
Some feedback:
- Remember to include stats and examples to support every argument you make
- Remember to include a linking sentence (e.g. you didnt have that in paragraph 4)
- Are you sure a decrease in eco growth dissuades FDI? I'd avoid making bold statements that are not found in the textbook
- Cash rate isn't exactly the same as the interest rate you are referring to. Cash rates are relevant to the banks (rather than foreign investment). Interest rates apply to individuals/businesses. Similar, but not the same so I'd avoid saying "interest or cash rate"
- Good graph, but are you really going to draw that in your exam? I would avoid using graphs like those unless this is a hand in assignment - because you need to draw it and you're not really using it to explain a point (unlike e.g. demand/supply graphs). Just state the statistic you're using without drawing everything else. Good example though! (just do it without the graph? I don't believe those types of graphs are conventional).
- your last sentence in that paragraph is unnecessary (the one about dissuading domestic borrowers). replace it with a linking sentence (very important)
- good linking sentence in your GFC paragraph - do that for all body paragraphs
- use "economic downturn" or something like that rather than the colloquial "economic disaster"
- again, tentative about including graphs like that from trading economics
- how can overseas interest or global economy change $A? you need to be more clear in explaining it (e.g. less growth -> overseas countries import less -> Australia has reduced exports etc leading to less demand for $A -> depreciation). speculation is a big factor as well
- you already mentioned interests rates. can you try to include something else? i understand this is domestic vs foreign interests rates so it is not exactly the same point - but it is better to keep the factors varied
your teacher might think you are making the same argument. check the textbook if you need pointers on what else to include. can also check out the marking guidelines (because I think this is a HSC question?) about what you can include
Final feedback
- The best essays tend to go through a LOT. Many arguments. You only mentioned economic growth, interest rates and the international business cycle. Try to make your paragraphs more concise so you can include more.
I suggest the paragraph structure PEEL
- POINT
- EXPLAIN
- EXAMPLE/EVIDENCE
- LINKING SENTENCE
You do a good job with it but you can get the point through with less sentences
- You need to include factors like international competitiveness, inflation and terms of trade. These are very important in economics and it's hard to achieve the top mark without mentioning these. I understand that you are running out of words to talk about this - that's why you need to keep your paragraphs concise (and cut out the unnecessary graphs)
e.g. how you measure exchange rates isn't really relevant to the question
- on rereading, you did mention terms of trade but you didn't go into it further - try exploring it further?