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March 29, 2024, 09:03:45 am

Author Topic: IS THIS OKAY WITH END LINKING SENTECE??  (Read 1179 times)  Share 

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Coolgalbornin03Lo

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IS THIS OKAY WITH END LINKING SENTECE??
« on: November 07, 2020, 11:34:59 am »
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All year my teacher said for comparative no link is needed like in text response. Especially because I link the texts at the beginning and middle of paragraph. But I’m worried it’ll know me down from an 8 to a 7 all of a sudden I’m scared.

paragraph
Both texts explore how one's identity is largely determined by the past of their descendants. In ​The Longest Memory ​ D'Aguiar portrays this through the characterisation of the oppressors whereas Enoch and Mailman demonstrate this idea through the depiction of those who are subjugated. Following the death of Chapel, Mr Whitechapel reveals his true feelings about being involved in the trade simply “because [his] father dust lay between [those] boards” of the bar in which the other
   
 plantation owners frequently met. This metaphor conveys that who someone becomes is largely what they’ve been exposed to their whole lives. D'Aguiar metaphorically implies that even the enslavers were somewhat enslaved by their pasts only taking part because “it's all [they] knew” and felt pressured to remain in “[their] father's line of work”. D'Aguiar elucidates that although one's view of self is determined by their past they have to take steps to learn from that past and create a better future. D'Aguiar condemns those who act similarly to Mr Whitechapel, who is cowardly, unwillingly taking part in the trade for the simple reason “[he] is a Whitechapel”. D'Aguiar asserts in order for the racially segregated past to truly remain in the past, those in positions of power today must deviate from what is expected of them and serve to benefit people of all races.. In a similar vein to D'Aguiar's condemnation of compliance, Enoch and Mailman contend that a person's identity is only loosely based on the past. However in ​The Seven Stages of Grieving ​they explore this through the population which is discriminated against and who take the past as a lesson and not let it define who they are today. In the play the WOMAN recognises how “they [all] look the same” to the rest of the community. The WOMAN coming to terms with this and even going as far to use satirical language represents how she understands her people were wronged in the past but is not willing to let it dictate her future or how much she values herself . Through the depiction of the WOMAN Enoch and Mailman demonstrate the importance of “know[ing] the cycle” and “how it starts” in order to avoid a repetition of the past in which Aboriginal people were coerced into giving up their land. Enoch and Mailman embrace the idea of Aboriginal people forging their own identity, and using the suffering of those in the past, to educate the people of today and create a future which ensures Australia will never approach that level of injustice again.

P.S I got 90% for this SAC does that seem wrong? I know you can’t see the whole thing but......3 says to go and I’m doubting my abilities
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2020: English | Methods | Biology | Chemistry |              Psychology | ATAR: 0
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brenden

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Re: IS THIS OKAY WITH END LINKING SENTECE??
« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2020, 12:16:34 pm »
+1
Hey,

I don't think it's going to be the thing to see-saw an 8 down to a 7.

I'd recommend a quick "Hence, each text <does whatever>" at the end if it's a similarities paragraph, or an "Although [similarity], ultimately [difference]" sentence if there are sims/diffs in the paragraph.

I think you could add that fairly quickly and without heaps of mental effort. But if you decide to not - relax. It'll be fine, and you can 8+ without it.
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Coolgalbornin03Lo

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Re: IS THIS OKAY WITH END LINKING SENTECE??
« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2020, 12:26:58 pm »
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Hey,

I don't think it's going to be the thing to see-saw an 8 down to a 7.

I'd recommend a quick "Hence, each text <does whatever>" at the end if it's a similarities paragraph, or an "Although [similarity], ultimately [difference]" sentence if there are sims/diffs in the paragraph.

I think you could add that fairly quickly and without heaps of mental effort. But if you decide to not - relax. It'll be fine, and you can 8+ without it.

Thank you so much! I’ll try if I’m not stretched on time :)
My avatar sums up life.
“I’m free to be the greatest one alive” ~ Sia
╔══════════════════════════════╗
2020: English | Methods | Biology | Chemistry |              Psychology | ATAR: 0
╚══════════════════════════════╝