ATAR Notes: Forum

General Discussion => Accountability and Motivation => Topic started by: Poet on August 22, 2018, 10:14:40 am

Title: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on August 22, 2018, 10:14:40 am
So, your girl is an idiot and keeps forgetting to eat/drink to the point where she's running in P.E. and collapses. So... about time to start a thread to motivate myself to eat. (Please don't judge me for this. It's a habit I got into a while ago and I can't seem to just remember to do the basics haha)

For breakfast today, I am eating a meat pie and a bit of water from the school bubblers. Will be getting a drink bottle asap. It's just very difficult to remember when there's so much to do!
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: sarangiya on August 22, 2018, 01:23:40 pm
This is something I've struggled with for a long time.
Do you have much appetite? Or is a more a matter of not having time or motivation to eat?
If it's the latter, I recommend :
• Bringing small snacks (chocolate, museli bars, fruit etc) in your pockets or in bags with you everywhere so you can snack constantly. Better something than nothing.
• Set an alarm on your phone to remind yourself to eat. And tell a friend so they can make you eat when it goes off, even if you ignore it.
• Make timed eating periods. If you can make ten minutes eat as much as possjbke. Again something is better than nothing.

Gold luck !!
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on August 22, 2018, 04:44:06 pm
This is something I've struggled with for a long time.
Do you have much appetite? Or is a more a matter of not having time or motivation to eat?
If it's the latter, I recommend :
• Bringing small snacks (chocolate, museli bars, fruit etc) in your pockets or in bags with you everywhere so you can snack constantly. Better something than nothing.
• Set an alarm on your phone to remind yourself to eat. And tell a friend so they can make you eat when it goes off, even if you ignore it.
• Make timed eating periods. If you can make ten minutes eat as much as possjbke. Again something is better than nothing.

Gold luck !!
Thanks, sarangiya! Will take this into account :))

It's a matter of both - I'm not hungry, and I have zero motivation to eat. I find it kind of difficult to eat around people because I get stressed about it for some reason (probably the fear of getting something unknowingly stuck in my braces haha), and I don't enjoy eating when I have something else to do. It's just too hard. But today in sport that went waaay too far -  if you're tired to the point that your legs give out, it's not a good sign. I'll do my best to follow your advice from now on to prevent that, and help with my focus! :)
Turns out my slightly hypocritical food guide is more than slightly hypocritical, geez ;-;

Update: got home and ate a little bit of muesli and an avocado. Drank a whole glass of water. Will try to remember breakfast tomorrow!
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Bri MT on August 22, 2018, 05:48:42 pm
I used to struggle with this a lot, and found that breakfast makes a huge difference.

Also consider prepreparing food so that it's less effort at the time.  For me, food is one of the first things I'll cut out if I don't have time so it's especially important to make that time and have a healthy sleep schedule. 

I don't want to project my experiences onto you too much but yeah: sleep and eat breakfast - that'll make easier for other things to fall in place
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: jazcstuart on August 22, 2018, 08:06:32 pm
I find it hard to make healthy snacks or lunches for the same reasons, particularly to take to school, so one thing which worked really well for me and my sister recently was making pizzas. We made quite a few large pizzas and had a couple for dinner that night then froze the rest for school lunches and snacks. It was really good because we set aside some time specifically to make the pizzas (solving the motivation/time problem, plus we were making dinner), and they lasted for over a week. You can put meat and heaps of veggies on them so they are really healthy, and its so easy because you just have to get a slice out of the freezer to take to school (or when you get home considering you get stressed eating around other people :) ). Plus they are super yum!  ;D
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on August 23, 2018, 06:46:38 pm
This thread is working already! I managed to eat breakfast (porridge), morning tea (a fruit cup of pear), afternoon tea (watermelon and prawn crackers) AND dinner (pad thai and dumplings, then some watermelon)! May have fed my lunch to the chickens, but I'm pretty proud of myself nevertheless. :) Forgot about the water bottle, but it's in my room - I just need to keep working on creating a habit.
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on August 24, 2018, 11:13:01 am
Never mind, this thread can’t motivate me to wake up on time. :(

Forgot all food but a little apple sauce cup... thankfully, my saving grace came in the form of a friend with a Krispy Kreme donut and the year 12 coordinator and welfare people made brownies and brought massive boxes of cookies and milk - so, not the healthiest of days, but the hoard of cookies is something to help me keep going into work tonight. :)
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Bri MT on August 24, 2018, 01:55:42 pm
Never mind, this thread can’t motivate me to wake up on time. :(


One event is not a trend, and the motivation has always been from you.
You've still got this,  it's just going to take time to create new habits
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on August 26, 2018, 10:31:21 am
One event is not a trend, and the motivation has always been from you.
You've still got this,  it's just going to take time to create new habits
Thanks, mini! I know it'll take me a while. Hell, even yesterday, when I had nothing to do, I still managed to miss breakfast completely, have a piece of sushi at like 2:00 and a tiny beef bowl for dinner. Absolutely pathetic.
It'll take some work, but I'll get there. I need to start setting alarms haha

Got up at a decent time this morning! (Yay!) Had some muesli and pear for breakfast, so it's a good start! I also have some apple juice, so you know, don't let dehydration ruin your vacation! :D

Tangent: I think I got into the habit of not drinking because I hate going to the toilet. Probably a bad thing, to prefer dehydration to actually just doing what I inevitably have to do at some point, but I should really get over that. Just another thing to improve, hey?

So, in summary, I have three goals:
Goal #1 - eat more
Goal #2 - drink more
Goal #3 - pee more lol
I am redy 4 this
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: PhoenixxFire on August 26, 2018, 12:14:40 pm
Tangent: I think I got into the habit of not drinking because I hate going to the toilet. Probably a bad thing, to prefer dehydration to actually just doing what I inevitably have to do at some point, but I should really get over that. Just another thing to improve, hey?
It might help to go to the toilet anyway - even if you don’t need to pee. Like, go at the same time (between classes or whatever) so at least you’ll be in the habit so it won’t be so annoying when you actually do have to go.
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: sarangiya on August 26, 2018, 08:58:38 pm
Tangent: I think I got into the habit of not drinking because I hate going to the toilet. Probably a bad thing, to prefer dehydration to actually just doing what I inevitably have to do at some point, but I should really get over that. Just another thing to improve, hey?
Again very relatable.
I don't go to the bathroom at all at school. The way I manage this is to:
* Go to the bathroom before school at home
* Drink only little at school
* Drink lots after school and go to the bathroom at home

It's probably not the best, and I agree with you in thinking it is something to 'improve' while I kind of avoid it.
I think it is dependent on the reason. It is a comfort thing for me. Even though they probably aren't, I see the toilets at school as particularly dirty. Also, I get anxiety and can't physically 'go' if I can hear other people lmao. To combat that, I just block my ears hahaha. Bit weird, I know, but well.
I think PhoenixxFire has great advice if your reason is time or procrastination(?). But I couldn't because I'd be too scared that if some day at that time I couldn't bring myself to go, I'd have to be uncomfortable until I got home.

All I can say is that life will be better at uni hahaha. Good luck!!
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on August 29, 2018, 12:34:14 pm
Spoiler

You know this gurl's got her free burrito...
And she gon eat it, yeh boi <3

Past couple of days have been really good! Even though I missed breakfast two days in a row, I made it up with remembering recess, lunch, then having a good afternoon tea of greek yoghurt, muesli, blueberries and strawberries. This is a rare thing, so I'm taking advantage of the Costco trip for as long as possible :)

Also finally remembered a water bottle!
@sarangiya @PhoenixxFire- I got up the courage to drink the WHOLE 600mL thing AND pee at school, haha - thanks for your encouragement y'all - stay hydrated and happy with full and healthy tummies! <3
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: sarangiya on August 29, 2018, 07:39:42 pm
Also finally remembered a water bottle!
@sarangiya @PhoenixxFire- I got up the courage to drink the WHOLE 600mL thing AND pee at school, haha - thanks for your encouragement y'all - stay hydrated and happy with full and healthy tummies! <3
Awesome! Hope it works out for you!
How are you feeling about these changes to your diet? Any noticeable changes?
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: tomatosauce on August 29, 2018, 07:44:50 pm
Also finally remembered a water bottle!
hmmm... thats also a major problem 4 me! I have chronic dehydration as a result of a lot of years drinking just enough to take my tablets each morning... not good. :-\
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on August 31, 2018, 10:49:26 am
About time for an update. :)
Awesome! Hope it works out for you!
How are you feeling about these changes to your diet? Any noticeable changes?
thanks! Not really changes in my diet (I’ve always been a healthy eater) but in the frequency of meals as well as the amount. I’m not that tired right now which is really good, and today is our cross-country, so hopefully I’ll have the energy to come better than third place this year due to these changes!

Friends have been keeping me accountable too (@techno) so this has been an encouragement to remember to eat and drink, even when I feel stressed or sick or not hungry. Eating in the mornings also helps me remember medication, so all in all this thread has been really beneficial so far. :)

hmmm... thats also a major problem 4 me! I have chronic dehydration as a result of a lot of years drinking just enough to take my tablets each morning... not good. :-\
exactly what’s happened to me with drinking! Keep working on improving your habits; you’ll get there. We’re barracking for you! :)
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: tomatosauce on August 31, 2018, 04:55:07 pm
today is our cross-country, so hopefully I’ll have the energy to come better than third place this year due to these changes!
How did it go? by the way... third place is amazing! 😲

exactly what’s happened to me with drinking! Keep working on improving your habits; you’ll get there. We’re barracking for you! :)
Thanks! I drank 600ml today! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 Probably sounds stupid... but its soooooo long since I've done that I can't believe it!
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on September 03, 2018, 05:46:05 pm
How did it go? by the way... third place is amazing! 😲

Thanks! I drank 600ml today! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 Probably sounds stupid... but its soooooo long since I've done that I can't believe it!
Thanks, TS! I can run a fair way haha - don't do it often though. And didn't actually end up running at all! It was a) pouring rain, b) Relay for Life and c) vine compilations are a lot more important.
And congratulations! I tried today, but after ~500mLs I needed to pee so bad and I didn't want to pee at school lol

So...
(https://www.dayzrp.com/uploads/monthly_2017_08/berries.gif.c5f4f7f90a7aad05c029930602b87942.gif)
I HAD AN ORANGE FOR BREAKFAST YEAH at least it was something lol

Also managed to eat two pieces of bread, a packet of chips and an avocado, and then some muesli when I got home. (Techno, tell them I'm actually eating) I'll be having quesadillas tonight, too! Decided that the best course of action is to organise food the night before, because I literally end up just sitting on the kitchen floor staring into space the next morning if I don't haha ;-;

Thanks for the encouragement again, everyone! It really is very motivating. :)
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on September 10, 2018, 05:27:23 pm
And welcome back to the hit show 'Nina is a Hypocrite'. Today, Nina is a Hypocrite, as well as an idiot!

Confession time: I haven't been eating breakfast much. And I haven't been organising stuff the night before. :( Kind of ashamed about it because last week I was so hyped, but I've been busy (or kind of drunk or crying or hey, why not all three) so I've been in not the best mindset for remembering food and water. Missed lunch a couple of times. Like, a lot of a couple of times. Also recess. And breakfast. Today I fed it to my chicken friends and cuddled one as I pondered the meaning of our existence. I've had about 50mLs to drink today, so I'm going to get on that right now. But it's a hard road, my kind fellows. I just want to make this a habit before exams, and the rest of my life...
I'll get to the Hail Mary's soon, I swear.
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Bri MT on September 10, 2018, 05:48:21 pm
And welcome back to the hit show 'Nina is a Hypocrite'. Today, Nina is a Hypocrite, as well as an idiot!

Confession time: I haven't been eating breakfast much. And I haven't been organising stuff the night before. :( Kind of ashamed about it because last week I was so hyped, but I've been busy (or kind of drunk or crying or hey, why not all three) so I've been in not the best mindset for remembering food and water. Missed lunch a couple of times. Like, a lot of a couple of times. Also recess. And breakfast. Today I fed it to my chicken friends and cuddled one as I pondered the meaning of our existence. I've had about 50mLs to drink today, so I'm going to get on that right now. But it's a hard road, my kind fellows. I just want to make this a habit before exams, and the rest of my life...
I'll get to the Hail Mary's soon, I swear.

Thank you for keeping us updated :)

Do you have things you can quickly grab such as fruit, nuts, muesli bars  or get more of those things stocked in the house? It's completely ok to not get into a great routine first try, in psych we use use transtheoretical model of behaviour change which has the stages: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action and maintanence. In this model, relapse is considered normal. You reached the action stage, and when you relapsed you went to contemplation again - so not even the lowest level.      Maybe talking about VCE content isn't the most comforting thing for a year 12 student, but the message is this:   it's so normal to not achieve your new habit 100% of the time that even VCAA says it's fine, or actually, normal  to ""fail"" multiple times.  You've just hit a failure, and that one less failure standing between you and success.


PS. the model also says to keep telling us about your progress - that improves how likely you are to succeed quickly
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on September 10, 2018, 06:00:50 pm
Do you have things you can quickly grab such as fruit, nuts, muesli bars  or get more of those things stocked in the house? It's completely ok to not get into a great routine first try, in psych we use use transtheoretical model of behaviour change which has the stages: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action and maintanence. In this model, relapse is considered normal.
Hiya!

Yup!I’m getting little fruit cups; not muesli bars though. Rationing to one a day. I just feel really bad for the plastic wrapping on everything, so I tend to shy away from wrappers I can’t recycle. That’s probably another thing preventing me from eating haha. School’s also a nut-free zone, so I munch on them at home but not during the day. When I’m rushed or preoccupied, that’s when I don’t eat. I consistently eat dinner, and most of the time I have afternoon tea, but it’s not enough and I end up fatigued and depressed. Classic. ;-;

Working, working, working on getting better. I think I’m still mentally in the prep stage ^-^

Thanks, mini :) I’ll do my best to keep you guys updated!
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: technodisney on September 10, 2018, 07:50:17 pm
(Techno, tell them I'm actually eating)

oops, I have somehow missed your updates here, but yes I can confirm that Poet has been eating more, I have seen it with my own eyes  :o
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: tomatosauce on September 11, 2018, 11:29:09 am
Heya... Sooo good to see you are improving... it's really hard to get out of the groove isn't it? Once again I've had one or two good weeks and I'm back to eating barely anything again :-\
Confession time: I haven't been eating breakfast much. Missed lunch a couple of times. Like, a lot of a couple of times. Also recess. And breakfast.
)
This is SOOOOOO familiar... right now I am feeling sick because I didn't bring enough recess/lunch to school and took my tablets on an empty stomach this morning... WHAT WAS I THINKING??? btw... even if i did have food here I probably wouldn't have even eaten it - either I just don't feel like eating it or can't be bothered!
yes I can confirm that Poet has been eating more, I have seen it with my own eyes  :o
Keeping accountable is such a help... I find it's so easy to lie when no-one watched me eat. (I feel like whatever I tell mum, she has no reason to think otherwise... so eg. she has no idea I actually ate the sweet stuff n threw out the sandwich!) this is not just an example... more like my life story
Keep up the updates... it's good to know you are on the improve :D
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on September 17, 2018, 09:05:25 am
Today, I ate breakfast.
AND I have lasagne for lunch.
Boom.
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: sweetiepi on September 17, 2018, 09:16:50 am
Today, I ate breakfast.
AND I have lasagne for lunch.
Boom.
Kicking goals! 👐
Keep it up, Poet! ^_^
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on September 28, 2018, 11:20:30 am
Kicking goals! 👐
Keep it up, Poet! ^_^
Yah, thanks, Lou! 💕

It’s been a little while - I’ve been eating more regularly, which is good, and I’ve been training myself to eat in public so I had TWO WHOLE PIZZA SLICES at the lectures last weekend!! There’s been a couple of hiccups along the way (aka not eating until dinner time yesterday hehehe) but that’s more down to me just studying straight through mealtimes or travelling or... something. Anyway, I’ve had breakfast almost every day this week, and along with the sunshine I’ve been feeling a bit better. :)) Yay for me!
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on October 04, 2018, 01:53:15 pm
Stress hits, I procrastinate everything. That includes studying, sleeping and eating. So, it's been a monumental effort for me these past couple of days. I managed some yoghurt and strawberries yesterday, and today I've had some curry. Been trying to graze on nuts as the day(s) goes by, too, so I've been eating well enough that I can concentrate... mostly. I just feel sick right now. Been drinking more, though, which is a positive! :)
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on October 14, 2018, 04:51:39 pm
Hi all - time for another update, I guess. :)
I'm still eating (most of the time), so it's definitely a slow but steady improvement. However, my appetite does fluctuate drastically in conjunction with my mental well-being, so whenever I'm low I don't each as much or as healthily as I should. But I pushed through that this morning and managed to eat a decent serve of yoghurt and berries to get me started on my day; on the drinking side of things, I've been slowly but steadily re-hydrating myself after a bad bout of vomiting haha, so hopefully I'll get into the habit by the time exams roll around!
Keep going, kids! :)
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on October 21, 2018, 11:32:46 am
I'VE HAD BREAKFAST THREE DAYS IN A ROW!! Whoop whoop!
I'm still trying to force myself into a rhythm, and now I'm on SWOTVAC it's a good time to just continue a steady routine that'll get me through exams. I threw up again last night, but I'm pretty sure it's just down to stress now, which sucks but it's okay. I've been drinking a lot more and my lips actually aren't cracked right now, which is a miracle haha - it's been a steady improvement but when I look at myself in the mirror I can sort of see the change. I look healthier, and it's good. Now I just need to get over this hayfever...
See y'all 'round, stay cool <3
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on November 04, 2018, 10:11:03 am
(I think I'm accidentally slowly turning vegetarian - meat makes me feel sick rn lel)
so i'M DePrEsSeD ((((aGaIn)))) and eating is a struggle. Meat especially but like everything but Two Fruits and water is just not appetising. I'm ashamed to say that the last couple of days have consisted of me eating a couple oranges, rice and yoghurt, and apple sauce. It's the stress, but also that little voice in the back of my head constantly telling me how gross I am. So, here's the deal. I'm going to sit here, right now, with a bowl of porridge and Two Fruits, and a glass of apple and mango juice, and I am going to ingest it all. And depression can bite me.
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Bri MT on November 04, 2018, 10:50:42 am
If meat nauseates you how about falafels, mushrooms, legumes,  tofu (I don't line the plain stuff but Malaysian satay is good), textured vegetable protein, veggie burgers or tempeh?

Maybe you could buy frozen veggies, microwave them and add them to your rice (or 2 min noodles or w/e) ?

Obviously I'm not a nutritionist but I'm happy to volunteer easy recipes if that can potentially help


Thank you for intervening by having some stuff now <3
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on November 10, 2018, 01:02:52 pm
If meat nauseates you how about falafels, mushrooms, legumes,  tofu (I don't line the plain stuff but Malaysian satay is good), textured vegetable protein, veggie burgers or tempeh?

Maybe you could buy frozen veggies, microwave them and add them to your rice (or 2 min noodles or w/e) ?

Obviously I'm not a nutritionist but I'm happy to volunteer easy recipes if that can potentially help


Thank you for intervening by having some stuff now <3
Thanks for the advice, mini - I've been eating a lot of avocado and toast, nuts, and fish lately instead of poultry and more common meats. Also, cucumbers and capsicums are so good for snacking :)

Hello. I have some breathing room before my Legal exam, so I'm less stressed and looking after myself a little more. I just had a lunch of cheese and bean toasties, and I had breakfast this morning like a good girl. My family has been an amazing support and forced me to eat more lately, too. I've had a whole cup of water today (crazy!) and have brought a water bottle into my exams/just around the place with me. Still not feeling too good but oh boy it'll be a weight lifted when I finish on the 14th (that's also the day that Antman and the Wasp comes out for rent!!)

See y'all!

Edit: spelling because I am a dweeeeb
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on December 05, 2018, 01:45:06 pm
So here we stand, with no excuse to forget to eat, and here I am, still forgetting to eat.

I've been kind of scared to update this thread for fear that I'm gonna get roasted by you regulars! pls don't hurt me
Anyway, with nothing much to do lately but worry about things completely out of my control I seem to have forgotten how to eat. I went back to work Saturday and my boss, bless his soul, is a very straightforward Chinese immigrant. He took one look at me and said, "Nina, you skinny. No good, you shrink. Why?" I said it was an accident and he just shook his head. "Girls like skinny, you look bad". Thanks, boss.

I ate at the meetup but to be honest with you all I just haven't been a fan of using my mouth and, like, making the effort to actually ingest things lately. To counter this, I'm posting here and making a burrito. Like right now. I need to be kept accountable more!!
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Bri MT on December 05, 2018, 01:54:15 pm
I had a relatively good diet before semester 2 which declined during that and has kind of been crashing since exams - so although generalising from a sample size of 1 is a very bad thing no science'y person should ever do - I think that the shift to lack of routine and not actively having to do things makes it easier to crash in the short term. So even though you "have no excuse" it makes sense, and we'll do our best to counter that from now on by asking :)

No judgement - just support and hoping you keep helping yourself feel better
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: AlphaZero on December 05, 2018, 03:48:28 pm
Well, I haven't been an AN user for too long (I really only started getting into it when I posted maths exams solutions), I'm not a regular, and I only really know some of you from the meetup, so I hope I'm not 'stepping over the line' by giving advice given I hardly know you.

Firstly, @poet, I think it's amazing that you're sharing your experience with us. It really takes a lot of courage both to put your story out there and to seek help / tackle the problem. Though I cannot relate to the food thing, I can relate to the consequences of partially 'neglecting' things that are important in life, either intentionally or not intentionally. I for one, even after 5-6 years of successfully managing my 'issues', struggle to muster up the courage to tell people, including some close friends. Everyone has their quirks, problems, etc., but not many try to act on them, and I really admire that you're putting in effort to doing so.

Here's some context about me. (I'll only provide enough info so that you can understand where I'm coming from. I'm not sure I'm quite ready to explain everything here, but anyway). My 'problem' revolved around a few obsessions I had as a result of a nightmare I had when I was younger, mainly, I felt the need to ensure that people knew the truth about anything - even if the truth would hurt. As a result, my personality changed. I could be a real jerk at times, and I just stopped doing things I loved like playing soccer with certain friends (fortunately, music stayed in my life). I turned everyday tasks and everyday interactions with people into mechanical problems. I have no idea why, but I think it was because I felt more comfortable dealing with them that way. I lost a few good friends then because I decided to push them away (pushing them away being my solution to some problems). (I mean, I could attribute losing some friends to moving schools at the end of Year 5, but deep down I know I was a real jerk to certain people). Moving schools actually was slightly a relief though. It was a chance to start on a 'fresh slate', tackle any problems I had (I had more than 1), and make some friends that I would keep throughout high school and beyond (and we're still friends today and all at the same uni (UoM)!).

That doesn't mean my 'old self' doesn't cause any problems anymore. In fact, it became quite an issue during term 2 of Year 12 (I made my specialist maths teacher cry), but I've largely been able to manage it, and that's the important part. So, I'm happy to share some ideas and things I did.

1) Everytime I had obsessive thoughts or the need to do something, regardless of whether I carried out the task or not, I would write it down. Eg: "22:00 - couldn't sleep because I couldn't help but try to brainstorm ways to make progress in solving the world's problems". I think writing into a journal or diary of some sort is good because you can keep track of your progress and it forces you to think, even subconsciously, about ways you could possibly recognise the problem before they arise in the future. I think you would benefit from, at the end of each day, writing down the day's events and what you ate (if anything), around those events. You should be able to find a pattern on when you don't eat. In a weird way, this technique worked for me twice as well, because I obsessed over solving logical problems, and so I used my gift of affinity for numbers, patterns and logic to my advantage to try and solve my own problems. (See, normally I would go out of my way to explain that paradox, but I'll let you guys sort that out :D).

2) Try to associate things you like doing such as art (I listened to the podcast lol) with eating. There are a few ways to go about this. One way is to, before going about your hobbies, have something to eat beforehand, and to restrict yourself from, say, drawing/painting until you have had something to eat. Eventually the goal is to create good habits alongside things you already love doing so that eating can become something of the same nature. (If someone could explain the psychology behind that, that'd be cool). For me, I found tranquility in mathematics (no surprises there lol).

Anyway, I hope these help, and, as @mini said, no one is here to judge ;)
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: sarangiya on December 11, 2018, 01:28:00 pm
Hey Poet!
I'm always rooting for you to kick those eating goals! Sorry to not have replied to this thread for a while.
I wanted to ask whether you have thought of consulting a dietician or psychologist, or other professional that might help with building eating habits?
I know that I see a lot of myself in your posts. A couple of years ago, I collapsed because I had so little to eat I couldn't even function. It was really scary. I was just sitting in a chair in the lounge room and everything came out of focus, my heart began pounding and I began shivering violently. I picked and told my mum "I need to go to hospital, I need to go to hospital". I went through triage and forgot the rest - I just woke up in emergency unsure of what had happened. These days, my weight still means I am 'at danger'. I don't have any reserves if I get sick. It can be a really big thing if I get a serious cold or flu. I even went to a room for special needs students during my free periods because I wasnt allowed to eat in the library. They couldn't understand that if i didn't have time to eat, it had a massive impact on my life - moreso than the average person.
I very occassionally think I subconsciously modelled my older cousin. When I was little, she and her sister were high school girls - beautiful and very cool (haha). I adored my cousin. I wanted to have what she had, see her when ever I could, I pined for her attention. I wanted to look like her beacuse she was so beautiful (I don't know if back then it was her hair and face, or rather her body I was idolizing). I never saw the brunt of it because I was young, but even I saw that at some point  she was never without a bar of nulax. When I was in high school, she began to have trouble emptying her bowels. She was always constipated and her stool was irregular. She went to the doctor, and found our also that she had osteopenia (a precursor to osteoporosis).
When she got pregnant she had slipped discs, dislocations, you name it. She had to be in a wheelchair for most of those 9 months. She has gained weight since then but still has many struggles.

I suppose what I want to say is that I'm lucky and unlucky. I had a good model for developing an eating disorder. I also had a good "bad" example to stop that from happening.
I don't mean to say that I think that you have an eating disorder. I think, though, that developing a better relationship with food was pivotal for my cousin and I. I think it is essential for every person.
Only you know yourself, and you don't haven't to reply to this, but I think that when you know you're struggling, and when people around you notice it too, it can be easier to bear the weight of that challenge with other people. (and not just ATARNotes users, as great as we may be).

Sorry that this was so long winded. I hope you are doing well!! Good luck
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on January 01, 2019, 05:05:35 pm
mini, dan, and sarangiya, thanks for your personal stories and advice. It's really an amazing thing to find such rapport in you all <3

(https://i.imgur.com/6sOjpce.png)

So I've eaten some nachos and I have a water bottle. Sorry, guys. <3
Hope none of you are also slowly killing yourselves by starvation because that's not a nice way to go, okay? Okay. I'll start keeping accountability again. Please pressure me to look after myself haha
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: EEEEEEP on January 01, 2019, 05:42:26 pm
@secretly a poet

It’s okay :). Don’t beat yourself up about it, no ones perfect ^^

We may have goals or things that we try to remember to do, but we dont always do them  ;D

Ps, I’m occasionally guilty of semi starving myself on busy days
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on January 02, 2019, 07:52:32 pm
Hey, you all! <3

I'VE EATEN EVERY SINGLE MEAL AND DRANK LIKE A LITRE OF WATER AND TEA TODAY!!

I have certain people to thank for pressuring me into breakfast and dinner, but I'm very proud to say I got myself dumplings for lunch... as Finnick says, 'It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart'. It's going to be a difficult cycle to overcome. But with the help of friends I hope to finish that work and keep myself together again.

Los quiero, muchachos
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: sweetiepi on January 02, 2019, 08:09:13 pm
I'VE EATEN EVERY SINGLE MEAL AND DRANK LIKE A LITRE OF WATER AND TEA TODAY!!
Yasssssss girl! -high fives-
So proud <3

It really does seem like a tough cycle to break, but with friends we'll break it ^-^
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on January 11, 2019, 11:46:00 am
Heyuuu 💙💙💙

How're y'all going? I've been feeling a bit sick the past two days so I've been holed up in my room, but *drumroll please*
Spoiler
I
HAVE
MANAGED
TO
EAT
THREE
MEALS
EVERY
DAY
FOR
5
DAYS
RUNNING

Sobyeah. Haha yay me. I've also been drinking a decent amount of water, but that's also very easy to forget so it hasn't been very consistent. I mean, I'm not quite sure if my body knows what "consistent" means but I'm trying. Next goal: waking up at 8 every day instead of 5 and falling back to sleep lmao
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on January 29, 2019, 01:12:35 pm
Lost the streak but I'm eating at the meetup! ^-^
@miniturtle @miniturtle @miniturtle
>.>

Edit: @miniturtle
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on February 27, 2019, 04:57:22 pm
Hey 💙

So, the last month has been pretty wild when it comes to health and wellbeing. I've been on a kind of medication that I have to take at least half an hour before eating or 2 hours after eating, so that has exponentially decreased my motivation to eat in the mornings. However, I have been trying to find motivation in the last couple of weeks and something to look forward to. For example, today I made an omelette during the half hour wait. A few days before I made granola. BUUUT most days I'm skipping breakfast.

Someone yell at me haha

Thanks 💙💙💙

Edit: thanks, MB_
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on March 22, 2019, 09:47:41 pm
Hihihi, monthly update time!

So... I haven't even needed a good yelling at for the past couple of weeks! In fact, I've probably been eating a little too much. I've just gotten over about a week of nausea and stomach cramps, so in that time I didn't eat much, but now I'm definitely making up for it. Every meal, every day, and I'm doing okay. Was doing okay before the sickness too.

As for drinking - I installed an app on my phone that tracks how much I drink. It's good because it sends little reminders to drink every now and again, and I've been keeping myself decently hydrated for the first time in about 5 years. Things are looking up! Thanks guys. ILY 💙💙💙💙
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Bri MT on March 23, 2019, 10:37:49 am
Hihihi, monthly update time!

So... I haven't even needed a good yelling at for the past couple of weeks! In fact, I've probably been eating a little too much. I've just gotten over about a week of nausea and stomach cramps, so in that time I didn't eat much, but now I'm definitely making up for it. Every meal, every day, and I'm doing okay. Was doing okay before the sickness too.

As for drinking - I installed an app on my phone that tracks how much I drink. It's good because it sends little reminders to drink every now and again, and I've been keeping myself decently hydrated for the first time in about 5 years. Things are looking up! Thanks guys. ILY 💙💙💙💙

WOOO!!

Congrats on your progress so far :)
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on May 19, 2019, 09:29:06 am
Uh oh. It's been a while since we last spoke, my dear journal. I've been on a little bit of a mental hiatus from AN, but hopefully I can come back from it now.

Hi. So, I'm still alive which is a start. What I'm not is disciplined about eating. Hit another long depressive episode and I've been struggling through that for a while. Just not motivated to eat. Lately I've been having an average of one and a half meals per day, with maybe a snack in there. It's bad, but it's better than I was. Drinking has been decent. Some days I can drink 4 bottles, others I manage able 100mLs for the entire day. Its kind of a "back to square one" situation where I allowed myself to fall back into habits that would ultimately lead to my detriment,even if eating seems inconvenient.

So, here I am, fallen back on the tried and true method of keeping myself accountable in from of a supportive community who will happily yell at me if I don't do what I should. I will try to post in here an update at least once a week, hopefully once a day or two.

Love y'all, and I'll see you around ❤️❤️❤️
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Natasha.97 on May 19, 2019, 10:09:38 am
Uh oh. It's been a while since we last spoke, my dear journal. I've been on a little bit of a mental hiatus from AN, but hopefully I can come back from it now.

Hi. So, I'm still alive which is a start. What I'm not is disciplined about eating. Hit another long depressive episode and I've been struggling through that for a while. Just not motivated to eat. Lately I've been having an average of one and a half meals per day, with maybe a snack in there. It's bad, but it's better than I was. Drinking has been decent. Some days I can drink 4 bottles, others I manage able 100mLs for the entire day. Its kind of a "back to square one" situation where I allowed myself to fall back into habits that would ultimately lead to my detriment,even if eating seems inconvenient.

So, here I am, fallen back on the tried and true method of keeping myself accountable in from of a supportive community who will happily yell at me if I don't do what I should. I will try to post in here an update at least once a week, hopefully once a day or two.

Love y'all, and I'll see you around ❤️❤️❤️

Hey hey hey!!!

Having one and a half meals a day is not bad! In some religions, it is considered to be intermittent fasting. I eat the most during breakfast, less during lunch, and even less for dinner (since you're about to sleep, your body would not metabolise as quickly, think it would get stored as fat instead of going towards where it is supposed to go). For an adult female, you should be aiming for 2000+ calories per day, but it depends on how active you are (since I quite like outdoor sports, I need to consume much more than that to make sure that I don't exhaust myself or pass out due to low blood sugar). Remember to eat lots of different fruit and veg to make sure that you have sufficient levels of key vitamins and minerals. Staying hydrated is key!!! I don't know how large your bottle is but the ideal is 3 2L of water (8 glasses) per day. :)
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on May 19, 2019, 08:43:42 pm
I ate three meals today! It was Erutepa's fault. I also drank a decent amount of water-like substances.

I'll try to keep a streak up of at least two meals per day. More if I get peer pressured like I was today haha

But yeah, today was alright. And I'll keep trying to pick myself up.

Bye 👋 😘🖖🌐🤼‍♂️🎒🎻

(the emojis are from Erutepa, I don't know what they mean)
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: sweetiepi on May 19, 2019, 09:04:09 pm
I ate three meals today! It was Erutepa's fault. I also drank a decent amount of water-like substances.

I'll try to keep a streak up of at least two meals per day. More if I get peer pressured like I was today haha

But yeah, today was alright. And I'll keep trying to pick myself up.

Bye 👋 😘🖖🌐🤼‍♂️🎒🎻

(the emojis are from Erutepa, I don't know what they mean)
That's an excellent start!!! <3

I know the feels with trying to eat 2/day, with 3 if pressured haha. At least the pressure (gentle I'd hope) is directed towards improving your physical well-being ^-^

You've got this, Poet, I believe in you! :)
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Erutepa on May 19, 2019, 11:26:05 pm
I also drank a decent amount of water-like substances.

Water-like substances are my favourite! (except if they're not)
Bye 👋 😘🖖🌐🤼‍♂️🎒🎻
(the emojis are from Erutepa, I don't know what they mean)
;)

Good work Poet! Try to keep it up just as I will continue to nagg you.  :P
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Erutepa on May 20, 2019, 09:04:36 pm
I'll try to keep a streak up of at least two meals per day. More if I get peer pressured like I was today haha
Another 3 meal day!!!
 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)

There will be no more foods left if you keep going at this rate
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on May 20, 2019, 09:05:57 pm
Another 3 meal day!!!
 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)

There will be no more foods left if you keep going at this rate

that it was. 🍴🎂🥑🥙🍜💙
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on May 22, 2019, 06:44:19 pm
Another update:

Yesterday was a bit of a sad time. I did not leave my room till about 5pm and ate nothing but a handful of jellybeans in this time. Dinner was a small taco. I slept for about half of that day and did literally nothing. I wouldn't have eaten without pressure from Erutepa. Oops

Today was better. I had work so I made myself a burrito for lunch the night before. I had a plum at maybe 10:30 for 'breakfast' and ill be heading to a family dinner soon. So my average for the past few days is just above a 2!

Still a long way to go but there we are. Hope you're all well. 💙💙💙
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Bri MT on June 08, 2019, 09:38:23 am
Hey,  how are you going with this? 
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on June 09, 2019, 12:44:28 pm
Hey,  how are you going with this?
Hiiiii haha ohhh no.

Thanks for nudging me again. :)

To sum up the past couple of weeks, I have been eating two meals a day for the majority of the week; there's rarely been one-meal days. Most of those have been when I've worked (a 9-5 office grind) and forgotten food then been too anxious to leave for more than 15 minutes.

I know I've said this before, but I need to start eating breakfast. I'm just not motivated at all. The closest I've gotten to breakfast since my last entry has been forgetting I had dark chocolate on my bedside table and eating it gleefully at about 9 in the morning.

Today I will eat plenty, because I know for sure I'm spending the day with someone special who loves to feed me. So, still no breakfast, still consistently dehydrated, but keeping that average at a good 1.90.

💙💜❤️
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on June 13, 2019, 08:18:56 pm
Today was the first time I've eaten 3 meals in weeks.

It's actually possible... Who would've thought?

I'm proud of myself, but it wouldn't have happened without Erutepa. Thanks for that, boo. 💙

I don't know how I'm going to go tomorrow. I don't think I'll get 3 in, or even 2, but I'll try to overcome it. I'll also try to drink at least 500mL of water. If I don't y'all can smack me.

Thanks frens 🎶💙
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Erutepa on June 13, 2019, 08:37:59 pm
Today was the first time I've eaten 3 meals in weeks.

It's actually possible... Who would've thought?

I'm proud of myself, but it wouldn't have happened without Erutepa. Thanks for that, boo. 💙

I don't know how I'm going to go tomorrow. I don't think I'll get 3 in, or even 2, but I'll try to overcome it. I'll also try to drink at least 500mL of water. If I don't y'all can smack me.

Thanks frens 🎶💙
Well done!!!!! ;D

and thanks for cooking me breakfast
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on June 14, 2019, 07:06:49 pm
I really, truly planned on waking up with enough time to eat this morning, I swear. It didn't happen. I also ran out the door without any snacks or my key fob to let me into the work building this morning RIP so I was scared I'd miss not only breakfast, but lunch as well.

Thankfully work provides free coffee. So I had that. And free candy. Which I had. Which is kind of breakfast? Even more thankfully, I asked the ladies in the office to take me out with them at lunch time and they did and I got Subway and I am eternally greatful for the office ladies. (did I mention this one time they full on got me cake because I didn't eat, they are actual angels)

And I also ate dinner. And throughout the day made sure to drink at least 500mL.

So,today was a good day. Don't know how tomorrow will go but we'll see. It is super motivating for me to re-realise that it IS possible to eat at least 3 full meals a day.

Thanks for the support people. I love you. 💙
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Joseph41 on June 19, 2019, 04:50:45 pm
Really glad it sounds as though you have supportive work colleagues!

Keep going. :)
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on June 24, 2019, 05:13:33 pm
Thanks, J41!  ;D

I think I'm going to start checking off each day and then giving a general summary of each week (to the best of my recollection). So here it goes:

Monday: Two meals ✨
Tuesday: Three meals 🎉
Wednesday: Three meals 🎉
Thursday: One meal 🐢
Friday: Three meals 🎉
Saturday: One meal 🐢
Sunday: Two meals ✨

Today: No meals because I'm a stupid bean... (edit:I had dinner)

So all in all I did a bit better this time round. I'm at one meal today and yesterday I was feeling terrible so I ate about one meal between the two, but the point is I'm trying haha. I've got cheese and crackers to snack on at work tomorrow as well as some curry in the fridge. I also bought muesli bars and stuff to monch for brekky if I forget so I'm aiming for 3 tomorrow, too.
I haven't had anything to drink today so I'm doing that now (yes you heard correctly, it's 5pm and I haven't dranked a thing) and slapping myself for it.

Anyway that's all thanks for coming to my TED talk, special thanks to Erutepa for doing his best to keep me on track 💙
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on July 02, 2019, 03:37:36 pm
Sunday: 3 🎉
Monday: 3 🎉
Tuesday: 2 ✨
Thursday: 3 🎉
Friday: 3 🎉
Saturday: 1 🐢
Sunday: 2 ✨
Monday: 2 ✨
Today (Tuesday): 1 🐢

I still have time to improve my 🐢 of today so  I'll do my best haha. Might be a bit problematic depending on the circumstances of feeling nauseous every time I eat but I'll keep fighting it.

I also drank enough water to not die this week, so that's a big plus! Hope you're all keeping up and staying healthy. And hey, if you don't feel like eating a full meal, nibble on something like a carrot. You're doing great.

💙💙💙
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: PhoenixxFire on July 02, 2019, 04:28:57 pm
like a carrot.
Not sure if deliberate but I feel attacked lol. I swear I’m gonna start crying if I forget to buy carrots again tonight.

I also drank enough water to not die this week, so that's a big plus!
A very big plus! 💜💜
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: caffinatedloz on August 06, 2019, 09:39:29 pm
How have you been Poet?
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on August 11, 2019, 02:34:08 pm
How have you been Poet?
H3ll0

Ahahaha relapses are fun.

That was sarcasm. Anywho have a bunch of 🐢🐢🐢🐢 and ✨✨✨✨ because I haven't hit anything to celebrate about for more than a month.

I've been almost constantly nauseous and stressed so my tummy has shrunk to about the size of two peas holding hands. I try but give up after two days of immediate failures. I feel like a failure a lot. And it's hard to post this because I'm exposing my shame to the world but I don't know, maybe it'll help.

I'm mad at myself for a lot of things at the moment, so apologies for not replying earlier. I'd stopped trying and I feel like a disappointment for it.
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on August 16, 2019, 05:33:49 pm
Three days this week, I had three meals.

One day this week, I had one meal.

The rest, I had two meals.

I didn't keep track of the precise dates, but it's a dramatic upswing. The encouragement really helps.
I've felt drastically less nauseous than usual, so I think my stomach has grown a little bit. I don't need reminding at lunch time to grab something to eat. Today I had some dumplings! Tonight I'll probably have some sausages or a burrito. I mean, I'm not eating much but it's something.

I've been feeling really negative about my body lately. Maybe eating properly and healthily will help me feel more positive.

That's all.
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: caffinatedloz on August 17, 2019, 06:35:10 pm
So proud of you Poet! <3
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on September 16, 2019, 03:45:37 pm
Real live footage of me these last couple of weeks:
(https://i.imgur.com/gAFH77j.gif)

(I'm a mess but still keen to raid your pantries)
((It's an opossum because I'm American so I can do that))

MY LOVELY PEOPLE

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT MY STOMACH IS NO LONGER THE SIZE OF TWO PEAS HOLDING HANDS

My nausea has gone down a lot the past while as per my last post ANDDDDD I've actually wanted to eat!!1!!11
I'll have had three meals after dinner tonight and I don't think I've been down to one meal in a day for two weeks at least. This is very exciting and good and nice and last night I ate so much fish and chips and my final aim is to die of chicken salt poisoning and I cannot wait. This was a joke, however, I do enjoy chicken salt.

Body image still isn't the best and a lot of the time my brain is very keen on calling me fat, which I am most definitely not, or somehow otherwise repulsive, which is more believable. So I'll keep working at that and not associate the various ugly parts of Me with eating healthily and regularly.

We will finish this post with a picture of a duck because I like ducks. Enjoy himb. Eat good please. Thanks.
Spoiler
(https://i.redd.it/w9lg1p47go431.jpg)
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: caffinatedloz on September 16, 2019, 04:54:34 pm
So proud Poet! <3
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Erutepa on September 16, 2019, 09:33:44 pm
Real live footage of me these last couple of weeks:
(https://i.imgur.com/gAFH77j.gif)

(I'm a mess but still keen to raid your pantries)
((It's an opossum because I'm American so I can do that))

MY LOVELY PEOPLE

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT MY STOMACH IS NO LONGER THE SIZE OF TWO PEAS HOLDING HANDS

My nausea has gone down a lot the past while as per my last post ANDDDDD I've actually wanted to eat!!1!!11
I'll have had three meals after dinner tonight and I don't think I've been down to one meal in a day for two weeks at least. This is very exciting and good and nice and last night I ate so much fish and chips and my final aim is to die of chicken salt poisoning and I cannot wait. This was a joke, however, I do enjoy chicken salt.

Body image still isn't the best and a lot of the time my brain is very keen on calling me fat, which I am most definitely not, or somehow otherwise repulsive, which is more believable. So I'll keep working at that and not associate the various ugly parts of Me with eating healthily and regularly.

We will finish this post with a picture of a duck because I like ducks. Enjoy himb. Eat good please. Thanks.
Spoiler
(https://i.redd.it/w9lg1p47go431.jpg)
AMAZING!!!!
I laughed aLOT at the live footage of you. You are looking a bit hairier and more opossum-y than I remember tho.
Keep up the great eating!
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on October 02, 2019, 07:40:09 pm
She's back.
Boy howdy, we've had some wild ups and downs, huh.

I'm currently lying in bed feeling like I'm about to vomit because I tried to eat a few chips; looks like my week or so of glory has ended (although I am still eating at least twice a day!!) I'm trying to take probiotics in the hope that my stomach bacteria will settle (if they're what's causing the problem) but I'm just tired of this and can't afford a goddamn gastroenterologist. I don't think I'm pregnant..? so not sure why my body hates me.

I'll start being a lot more active on AN though, because new computer = ease of access and all that so you'll be getting some shweet weekly updates again.

I need a pay raise. I need a life raise. Pray for me. Send cute duck memes.
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on October 04, 2019, 08:27:19 pm
So it's 2 days after my last update and I have eaten some yoghurt, cheese and a whopping total of 7 chicken crimpy crackers. That's literally it. My head is light and I left work early today because I can't function. Fell over trying to get up from bed to go to the toilet just before and lay there in the dark for a while. Can't remember if I fainted or not. I keep almost throwing up but there's nothing to throw up anymore so...

This is very similar to the crap I went through at the start of the year so if I haven't improved by tomorrow I'm going to the doctors and will probably end up getting tested for everything under the sun again. Stressed because I need to work to live and I don't want to take sick leave but if I can't even get to the bus stop by myself there's no way I can work intensely for 8 hours.

I was going so well. This is probably one of the most maddening things I've ever experienced. This took forever to type. Sorry y'all.
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Bri MT on October 04, 2019, 08:45:38 pm
There's nothing to apologise for; we're here to support you & that means supporting you through the slip-ups too.

That you've had a healthier diet before shows that you can have a healthier one again too. I like to think that getting practice at rebuilding from the falls increases your resilience at the end. I wish you didn't have so much opportunity to practice made available to you, but I'm thinking that once you no longer have these obstacles and weights slowing you down you'll soar. I'm proud of you, for the progress you push for and for being you.
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: lm21074 on January 14, 2020, 10:05:45 pm
Hey Poet, how's this going? :)
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on January 16, 2020, 09:41:48 am
Hey Poet, how's this going? :)
Hey lm! I'm doing OK.

Actually, in terms of eating, I've been doing the best I've ever done for the past couple of months. Apologies for taking so long to update, a lot happened and I took a bit of a break from a few things, including my own accountability.

I've started eating breakfasts - nothing big, but just doing my best to keep the sickness at bay in the mornings. Ironically, this morning is one of the rare mornings I haven't been able to bring myself to eat. I went on a holiday with Erutepa's family for two weeks and have basically been adopted over the course of the last few months leading up to that. That means that I was force-fed breakfasts if I was over in the mornings and 3 meals a day over the holiday - and that kind of helped desensitise my stomach a bit. I do have days like this one where I feel too sick to eat anything but it tends to fade to a bearable point before the afternoon. Life just goes on.

Thanks for reminding me about my journal, I'll try and update more often :)
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on January 23, 2020, 12:34:01 pm
I spoke too soon about the breakfast debacle - you know how some people just aren't, like, breakfast people? I am one of those non-breakfast people. This is a decision that has been made by myself and my body so please don't argue. I do have a small snack around 10.30-11 before lunch but breakfast never really crosses my mind unless someone really pushes me to hop on it. Whoopsies!

AnywaYYYSSS the past few days I've been super sad and whatever so my ability/want to ingest things as a requirement for living is drastically decreased so I have been doing pretty badly. But every day I've had at least 1 and a half meals, which is still an improvement on my previous standards.

That's all. I am getting a phone call so bye hehe
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on March 23, 2021, 02:32:34 pm
POV: It's been exactly 1 year 2 months since you wrote your last entry. You've been slipping into bad habits again and the black spots in your vision are coming back - so maybe it's time to start this up again.

(http://37.media.tumblr.com/1dee0c9e399b34cc10c12d04506d5f10/tumblr_n53cb0KpVC1smcbm7o1_500.gif)
~Haaaaiiiiii~

It's been a while. Which is a good thing - I did well for a chunk of time there. But this year I've noticed that my want to eat is diminished, and I've been regressing. I'm struggling to eat 2 full meals a day and although I try to fill it with fruit, veggies, and light snacks like crackers or a little bit of bread, I am not fulfilling my overall food quota anymore. It's partly because I've been constantly ill ((still! ikikik)) but also because I just get distracted. My lunch, if I eat anything, is consistently around 2pm every day, and forget about anything more than a bit of fruit for breakfast if I get around to it. Dinner is usually more solid but at least 2 out of 7 nights I'll just end up eating plain rice or a small salad. Even if I really like something, I can only eat a small amount at a time (for the most part).

It's just getting worse again, so I need to start keeping myself accountable.

So, the plan is as follows:
I will set out a weekly template and record what I eat and how I felt over that day. If I manage 3 meals or the equivalent, I will gain a star for that particular day. My aim is to end up with a seven star week, after which I will reward myself with a special snack or something. I will also record my weight weekly and consciously set reminders to eat.

Yes, I'm literally conditioning myself with positive reinforcement. Yes, I am using a similar method to that I'd use to potty train a baby. And yes: I am baby.

Okie that's about it - I'll check in next week with a full timetable and make sure I edit it in this week's thingos. Bye for now, friends. :))
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: w0lfqu33n89 on March 23, 2021, 03:06:37 pm
Hey Bean, i'm glad you are focusing on yourself again. Hey, maybe your reward us travelling back to the sweet store to find Swedish Fish!

also currently sitting in class learning about positive reinforcement as I read this so lol

ily xx
Title: Re: I need to eat more.
Post by: Poet on September 20, 2021, 02:07:48 pm
Hi, my lovelies!
Thought I'd drop by and give an update.

If you've read my other journal(s?), you'll know that a few months ago I underwent treatment for a chronic bacterial infection which caused nausea and stomach pain, among other symptoms. This pain was the main reason I was unable to eat well, so after recovering from treatment, I just wanted to provide the stats:

Last year and into June this year, my weight fluctuated between 48kg-54kgs - mostly on the lower end. As someone who is 5'8 with an athletic build, this put me as underweight and I was struggling with deficiencies in iron and calcium because of reduced absorption and internal bleeding from gut ulcers caused by the bacteria.

By July I was 55.3kgs - the most I had weighed since I was 16. By August, I was 56. And now, as of September 18th, I weigh over 56.3kgs. It's a slow but steady climb to the me I want to be. The healthy me. Being able to eat what I want when I want is a liberty I am overly happy to abuse (especially considering the fact that it's strawberry season!!! YUM.) I'm watching my body fill out in tiny bits on my arms, my hips, and more.

Mentally, I'm so used to seeing myself underweight that sometimes I struggle with feeling deformed despite only having minor, gradual improvements. But that's something that I'm working on. And I'm glad to be here. Able to eat more, eat freely, and eat enough.

Thanks for your help, my friends.