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Author Topic: Nine Days - Introduction  (Read 1121 times)  Share 

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BitcoinEagle

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Nine Days - Introduction
« on: January 28, 2020, 12:59:45 pm »
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Was wondering if I could get some help with my introduction. I haven’t done English ½ so am worried about being a bit behind and am just remembering how to write English essays. Any feedback would be much appreciated! ;) ;) ;) :) :) :) 8)

- Nine Days, by Toni Jordan, shows the best and worst of Australian culture. Discuss

Nine Days, written by Toni Jordan in 2013 delves into Australian culture and identity. In it, the author illustrates Australian culture throughout the 20th and 21st century, portraying it in a predominantly negative light but also with positives which show glimpses of hope, friendship and family values. Through the women within the novel such as Connie and Annabel, Jordan demonstrates how stereotypes and reductive labels towards females make up part of Australian culture and lead to discrimination and trapping within gendered roles. Similarly, disputes over religion as well as a stigma against individuals not going to war are a clear criticism of the way in which Australian culture dismissed differences and established hierarchy. However, Nine Days also sheds light on some ennobling aspects of Australian culture; in particular Jordan expresses how despite these restrictions, underlying characteristics such as hope exist and alludes to a culture of family closeness. Hence, the author derides aspects of discrimination within Australian society but through the lives of characters within her story urges readers to understand that despite these worst aspects, Australian culture has positive characteristics in times of pressure such as war.
« Last Edit: January 28, 2020, 02:10:15 pm by BitcoinEagle »
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Re: Nine Days - Introduction
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2020, 07:54:27 am »
+1
Hey,

I didn't do English 3/4 so take this with a grain of salt but:


- Nine Days, by Toni Jordan, shows the best and worst of Australian culture. Discuss

Nine Days, written by Toni Jordan in 2013 delves into Australian culture and identity You want a more punchy and powerful first sentence. In it, the author illustrates Australian culture throughout the 20th and 21st centuryies, portraying it in a predominantly negative light but also with positives which show glimpses of hope, friendship and family values. Through the women within the novel such as Connie and Annabel, Jordan demonstrates how stereotypes and reductive labels towards females make up part of Australian culture and lead to discrimination and trapping within gendered roles gendered roles or gender roles?. Similarly, disputes over religion as well as a stigma against individuals not going to war are a clear criticism of the way in which Australian culture dismissed differences and established hierarchy. This sentence is a bit awkward in a few places, I recommend rewriting it. The presence of religious conflict and stigma against people who avoid joining the war efforts aren't innately criticisms of Aus culture but they certainly can be presented in that way. Also, were differences dismissed? Disputes over religion doesn't sound like dismissal of differences. However, Nine Days also sheds light on some ennobling aspects of Australian culture; in particular, Jordan expresses how despite these restrictions, underlying characteristics such as hope exist and alludes to a culture of family closeness. Hence, the author derides aspects of discrimination within Australian society but through the lives of characters within her story urges readers to understand that despite these worst aspects, Australian culture has positive characteristics in times of pressure such as war.This is an unnecessarily long sentence

Hope this helps!