hi,
sorry, I think i realised later on that my wording was unclear and changed my t.s a little
i now mean that it is unnatural to have an all-male power structure in society, because the world is not all-male.
(does that make sense or should I articulate it further in my essay?)
thanks for the advice!
btw this is the paragraph can you please tell me what you think?
thank you!!
As suggested above, I think "unjust" is probably a better description than unnatural
Of course, unjust is subjective as well, but it is more clear than unnatural
Influenced by a growing defiance of conservative societal values, composers writing in the post-bomb period pursue questions of the power of women in an unnatural patriarchal society
Now I'm reading it here, I'm wondering if you need to describe the patriarchy at all, with unjust or unnatural - I think it could go without. Unjust is subjective and unnatural is not quite right. I don't think either add anything to your work. . Such is true of Plath, a confessional poet, grappling with her identity alone,
no need for comma as a female in the early ‘60s. As Simone de Beauvoir remarks, “the destiny that society traditionally offers women is marriage”
I'd say where this is quoted from. Which work of Beauvoir's did this come from?. Plath acknowledges this likelihood, but attempts to dismiss it within the connotations imposed upon the word “I ordered” bringing to light the dichotomous thematic concerns over power and subjugation, nonetheless, foreshadowing her superiority complex. The persona establishes her dominance over the bees in the truncated sentence “I am the owner”: a direct defiance of post-war societal values. However, the audience sees a tonal shift in the sixth paragraph, where the persona wonders “how hungry they are” and debates freeing them: alluding to the myth of Daphne. This volte-face succeeds her epiphany that the bees, like her, are victims
of the.... However, the persona does not consider herself a mother to the bees, rather, a ‘protector’; diction free from gender bias. This echoes the persona’s disengagement with her identity as a mother in ‘Morning Song’, utilizing
utilising* sibilance as the baby “shadows our safety”.
Punctuation inside the quotation mark As De Beauvoir colloquially states, a woman may feel detached from her child as “she has no past in common with this little stranger”, which is why the persona of ‘Arrival of the Bee Box’ does not identify with the term ‘mother’. Hence, it is this power struggle the persona faces that allows Plath to attempt to understand the position of women in an unnatural patriarchal society.
Hopefully this gives you a hand - you've put a lot in a small space which we really need in E1, it's very dense and no waffle - which is great!