How do I make an argumentative thesis and stronger intro?

[Jfernando312]

This is what I have now:
Key influences are fundamental for the success of a small to medium enterprises (SME). The example of Luna Park Sydney Pty Ltd demonstrates this through accounting for legal influences, market considerations and personal qualities of motivation. Through these influences, their marketing objectives of promoting Luna Park Sydney (LPS) as a place just for fun, maximising customer satisfaction and ultimately, gaining profitability are achieved.

[KingTings]

This is a decent intro! From what I know, introductions do not need to be too extensive and sophisticated. A teacher of mine is a HSC marker and advised me that introductions and conclusions usually do not influence the mark too much, as long as you have them it should be okay (this could be wrong).
As long as you get straight to the point and provide a valid thesis (which you did through stating influences are fundamental for the success) you would be able to give a good impression on the marker.
If it was an evaluate question I would suggest you gave a judgement, such as "key influences are highly significant in determining whether an SME is successfully or not".
Depending on the question, you must respond to the different directive verbs (analyse, discuss, evaluate etc.)

[mashal hameed]

My business teacher said that in an intro you must have:
- affirmation of question
- syllabus point (what you will talk about in body)
- case study
 you have all three so I think you have a pretty good intro