English; Medea Text Response

[juicethelemon]

I've never really done this before, hopefully this works :/
Could anyone please harshly mark this essay, and tell me exactly where I can prove. This is not my finest essay, but I wrote it under exam conditions. Thank you!

The play Medea is more about Justice than Revenge. Discuss.

Seeking justice allows individuals to mark the inauguration of reversal roles and subordination. Euripides Greek tragedy, Medea, centres around its eponymous protagonist as she is left desolate ensue her husband’s infidelity. The playwright unravels the mindset of the sorceress as she yearns to seek retribution. Through the portrayal of the gods who support Medea’s quest, Euripides connotes the impending message of Medea’s trials as an act of justice not only for herself but the minorities that have also been dehumanised by the greek society.

Euripides, explores the horrendous execution of Medea’s plan as an evolvement of her retribution. The sorceress conjures her maniac thoughts as she explains to the score of Corinthian woman, that she is now “stung with insult.” Euripides bolsters Medea’s hubris (excessive pride) that has been wounded by Jason’s treachery. Through decimating Medea’s ego, Jason earns his ultimate conquest- Kleos (excessive glory). To that, Medea recognises the aim of his abandonment and ergo, targets the centre of his pride- his lineage. The playwright, meticulously characterises Medea as not only a woman with hubristic qualities but also intelligence. Here, the Greek, male audience are not only confined to admonish this witch, but also realise the repercussions of their similar acts that seem normal to their social conventions. To this end, Euripides ventures into Medea’s intellect as she seeks to claim justice against her philandering husband, through the only route possible.

Moreover, Euripides subjugates the Gods to support Medea, through her act of justice. Upon cultivating her plan, Medea vertebrates that “if some strong tower of help” comes, then only will she able to be exact her plan. Yet, almost instantly King Aegeus, enters the scene and offers Medea Xenia (sanctuary), in return for potions for his sterility. The audience view the scene in awe, as Medea’s plans of retribution almost unfold as easily as it was curated- an almost miracle. Euripides, repetitively brings forth cosmic interventions, as to propagate the notion of the gods support for the newly estranged wife. Correspondingly, Medea calls upon Hecate (Goddess of witchcraft) and Helios ( the Sun God) to produce the poisoned “golden cornet” that burns Princess Glauce and King Creon. Euripides diligently employs the poisonous crown as a metonym for the infected monarchy. It is only through the breaking of “sacred oaths” to the gods, that this morganatic wedding is occurring thus a representation of a marriage dearth of the gods blessings. Resonating with traditionalists in the audience, Euripides dissects the repercussions in enraging the God’s and further cements their support in Medea’s plight. Through supernatural corroboration, Medea is able to seek justice from those who hurt her.

Euripides fashions his titular protagonist to be aquainted with derogatory sterotypes, yet embellishes her ability to rule above those who derail her worth. In the first episode, Medea iterates to King Creon that she is to “yield to superior strength”, and not act against her authority. Yet ironically, upon Creon’s death the monotonous messenger denotes Creons passing as “yielding” to the poison that Medea delivers. Euripides, demonstrates to his audience the paradox of these two scenes as it opens the discussion of reversal roles within society. The audience are almost astounded to see a king of a city surrender to the feet of not only a woman but a barbarian aswell. Concurrently, the destruction of Creon and his prejudices almost teases the audience of an impending revolution, a time where those who have been oppressed are able to overthrow their oppressors. Similarly,  in the exodus Medea escapes “scot free”, without any repercussions for her murdering. Through the use of the deus ex machine, the dramatist constructs Medea’s final scene as a woman, a barbarian and an outsider to be above Jason- the archetypal of a greek male. Here, Euripides divulges the true victory in Medea’s yearn for justice- that despite the marginalisation and maltreatment from the people around her, she is still able to seek the justice she deserves.

In essence, Euripides’ Medea explores the notion of revenge and justice, that encapsulates the plot of the play. Yet when discussing the core of Medea’s actions, Euripides articulates the pivotal fight for justice that marks the play as one the greatest in greek history. Through, the marriage of her intellectuality and divine intervention, Medea proves to be a force that takes reign on the city of Corinth, despite her ostracising qualities- signifying the beginning of a revolution.

[PhoenixxFire]

Welcome to AN

Sorry if this seems mean, you asked for it

I've never really done this before, hopefully this works :/
Could anyone please harshly mark this essay, and tell me exactly where I can prove. This is not my finest essay, but I wrote it under exam conditions. Thank you!

The play Medea is more about Justice than Revenge. Discuss.

Seeking justice allows individuals to mark the inauguration of reversal roles and subordination. Euripides Greek tragedy, Medea, centres around its eponymous protagonist as she is left desolate ensue her husband’s infidelity. The playwright unravels the mindset of the sorceress as she yearns to seek retribution. Through the portrayal of the gods who support Medea’s quest, Euripides connotes the impending message of Medea’s trials as an act of justice not only for herself but the minorities that have also been dehumanised by the greek society. Your intro feels a bit disconnected (particularly the first 2 sentences). Try to link your ideas together, not just list them.

Euripides, explores the horrendous execution of Medea’s plan as an evolvement of her retribution. The sorceress conjures her maniac thoughts as she explains to the score of Corinthian woman, that she is now “stung with insult.” Euripides bolsters Medea’s hubris (excessive pride) that has been wounded by Jason’s treachery. Through decimating Medea’s ego, Jason earns his ultimate conquest- Kleos (excessive glory). To that, Medea recognises the aim of his abandonment and ergo, targets the centre of his pride- his lineage.You're just listing examples here, try and go more into depth with how each example is used by Euripides to explore the idea of revenge/justice The playwright, meticulously characterises Medea as not only a woman with hubristic qualities but also intelligence. Here, the Greek, male audience are not only confined to admonish this witch, but also realise the repercussions of their similar acts that seem normal to their social conventions. To this end, Euripides ventures into Medea’s intellect as she seeks to claim justice against her philandering husband, through the only route possible.

Moreover, Euripides subjugates the Gods to support Medea, through her act of justice. Upon cultivating her plan, Medea vertebrates that “if some strong tower of help” comes, then only will she able to be exact her plan. Yet, almost instantly King Aegeus, enters the scene and offers Medea Xenia (sanctuary), in return for potions for his sterility. The audience view the scene in aweYou weren't there, how do you know that? Also it's not really relevant - sort of feels like you're just trying to shove the audience in somewhere, as Medea’s plans of retribution almost unfold as easily as it was curated- an almost miracleYou shouldn't really be making judgements like this. Euripides, repetitively brings forth cosmic interventions, as to propagate the notion of the gods support for the newly estranged wife. Correspondingly, Medea calls upon Hecate (Goddess of witchcraft) and Helios ( the Sun God) to produce the poisoned “golden cornet” that burns Princess Glauce and King Creon. Euripides diligently employs the poisonous crown as a metonym for the infected monarchy.You could include more here about how this links back to justice. Something about it being just that the corrupt monarch dies from a corrupted crown It is only through the breaking of “sacred oaths” to the gods, that this morganatic wedding is occurring thus a representation of a marriage dearth of the gods blessings. Feels like the paragraph gets a bit lost here, you need to link it back to the theme again (like i mentioned above) Resonating with traditionalists in the audience, Euripides dissects the repercussions in enraging the God’s and further cements their support in Medea’s plight. Why does the gods support matter? Maybe include something about how Euripides uses the gods lack of action to indicate that the gods believe it is justThrough supernatural corroboration, Medea is able to seek justice from those who hurt her.

Euripides fashions his titular protagonist to be aquainted with derogatory sterotypes, yet embellishes her ability to rule above those who derail her worth. Is this related to justice or revenge?In the first episode, Medea iterates to King Creon that she is to “yield to superior strength”, and not act against her authority. Yet ironically, upon Creon’s death the monotonous messenger denotes Creons passing as “yielding” to the poison that Medea delivers. Euripides, demonstrates to his audience the paradox of these two scenes as it opens the discussion of reversal roles within society. The audience are almost astounded to see a king of a city surrender to the feet of not only a woman but a barbarian aswell. Concurrently, the destruction of Creon and his prejudices almost teases the audience of an impending revolution, a time where those who have been oppressed are able to overthrow their oppressors.This is the first sentence that explicitly references the themes. You should be talking about them earlier Similarly,  in the exodus Medea escapes “scot free”, without any repercussions for her murdering. Through the use of the deus ex machine, the dramatist constructs Medea’s final scene as a woman, a barbarian and an outsider to be above Jason- the archetypal of a greek male. Here, Euripides divulges the true victory in Medea’s yearn for justice- that despite the marginalisation and maltreatment from the people around her, she is still able to seek the justice she deserves. There's lots of information in here but it's not really clear how it's related to the topic. It almost feels like explaining how it links in is an afterthought. Every example you give should clearly link to the topic. It feels like your alluding to why Medea wants justice at the start of this paragraph but you need to actually say it. 'Euripides sets Medea up to yearn for justice through the actions of jason...'

In essence, Euripides’ Medea explores the notion of revenge and justice, that encapsulates the plot of the play. Yet when discussing the core of Medea’s actions, Euripides articulates the pivotal fight for justice that marks the play as one the greatest in greek history. Through, the marriage of her intellectuality and divine intervention, Medea proves to be a force that takes reign on the city of Corinth, despite her ostracising qualities- signifying the beginning of a revolution.The last sentence here just summarises the plot - it needs to talk about the themes not a character's role in the play..

-It feels a bit like you've swallowed a thesaurus. Using varied language is a good thing, but using it just for the sake of sounding fancy isn't. Some of the words you've used aren't the best choice, and don't necessarily fit into that context properly. Make sure you understand exactly what they mean and that you're comfortable using them in a sentence before you include them in an essay.

-You haven't really addressed your prompt properly. You've mentioned justice a fair bit and revenge a few times, but you haven't really discussed which the play is more about or how Euripides explores them. The only time you've actually said 'revenge' was in the very last paragraph - compared to justice which you said 9 times. Synonyms can only do so much, you definitely shouldn't have it in every sentence but you do need to mention it.

-You've retold the story a fair bit. I know for me at least I do that when I don't know what else to write. Try to force yourself not to do it by reading back over your sentence and asking 'what am I saying here?' If it's just a description of what happened in the play, cross it out. If you're describing something that happens then the sentence should be something like 'Euripides does this....to convey this....' or 'the theme of revenge is explored through....'

-Your paragraphs don't seem particularly clear. You need to have a clear focus of each paragraph, some of them just feel a bit meandering. You allude to the topics but you need to clearly state it. Your assessor isn't going to read between the lines.

-The first two paragraphs have good topic sentences, the third just seems to have fallen apart a bit.

[juicethelemon]

Welcome to AN

Sorry if this seems mean, you asked for it

-It feels a bit like you've swallowed a thesaurus. Using varied language is a good thing, but using it just for the sake of sounding fancy isn't. Some of the words you've used aren't the best choice, and don't necessarily fit into that context properly. Make sure you understand exactly what they mean and that you're comfortable using them in a sentence before you include them in an essay.

-You haven't really addressed your prompt properly. You've mentioned justice a fair bit and revenge a few times, but you haven't really discussed which the play is more about or how Euripides explores them. The only time you've actually said 'revenge' was in the very last paragraph - compared to justice which you said 9 times. Synonyms can only do so much, you definitely shouldn't have it in every sentence but you do need to mention it.

-You've retold the story a fair bit. I know for me at least I do that when I don't know what else to write. Try to force yourself not to do it by reading back over your sentence and asking 'what am I saying here?' If it's just a description of what happened in the play, cross it out. If you're describing something that happens then the sentence should be something like 'Euripides does this....to convey this....' or 'the theme of revenge is explored through....'

-Your paragraphs don't seem particularly clear. You need to have a clear focus of each paragraph, some of them just feel a bit meandering. You allude to the topics but you need to clearly state it. Your assessor isn't going to read between the lines.

-The first two paragraphs have good topic sentences, the third just seems to have fallen apart a bit.

Its fine, the harsher the better. i definately need this kind of critism. I was kind of wary with this essay topic, but thats why i tried it and attempted to get it slaughtered lol. Thank you so much!

[OZLexico]

I agree with the previous comments. There's some slightly strange vocabulary in your essay. I also think you haven't distinguished between "revenge" and "justice" - check your dictionary. The introduction is a bit messy too. Try to indicate your three main points briefly and clearly in the introduction and then keep to that sequence in the body paragraphs.   

[happydays2]

I would like to disagree with the above comments. The essay was not so bad. There was a good attempt to find interesting vocab, especially 'morganic' to describe the marriage. The second paragraph argues using evidence and metaphor that the gods saw the marriage as unjust, which therefore was more about justice than revenge. A good argument.