English advanced - short story (creative)

[kelly.ly___]

ANSWERED

[caffinatedloz]

Hey Kelly!
This looks great. I love your creative use of language and your plot. Perhaps making sure that everything in the beginning of your story is in the same tense (rather than switching between past and present within the same paragraph) would strengthen this.

Also, some of the things you have surrounding your dialogue are probably unnecessary. When there are just two people talking you don't have to say who is talking on every line, as the audience should be able to follow the conversation in their head.

This is really cool and I love the concept!

[kelly.ly___]

Hey Kelly!
This looks great. I love your creative use of language and your plot. Perhaps making sure that everything in the beginning of your story is in the same tense (rather than switching between past and present within the same paragraph) would strengthen this.

Also, some of the things you have surrounding your dialogue are probably unnecessary. When there are just two people talking you don't have to say who is talking on every line, as the audience should be able to follow the conversation in their head.

This is really cool and I love the concept!

Hey Laura, thanks for the feedback, really appreciate it! I'll be sure to take it into consideration when I'm editing my work