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March 29, 2024, 08:41:31 am

Author Topic: PF's journal  (Read 28578 times)

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K888

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #30 on: July 21, 2019, 07:17:22 pm »
+14
Gonna sound like a broken record but please do make sure you follow up with a GP or counsellor, PF! You don't have to get through things just by yourself.

All the best for the next semester, I hope that things go as well as possible for you <3

PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #31 on: July 27, 2019, 10:49:45 am »
+12
Well that's one week done. I actually went to (almost) all my classes this week, even though none of them were compulsory.

Bio is going to be very boring this semester again :( Pretty much all the topics that we're supposed to be covering this semester are ones that I already did in high school (we're currently learning about how gene mutations can cause disease via changing a proteins shape ::)) I think I'm going to sneak into some bio lectures for other courses, problem is a lot of the ones that look interesting are in small rooms that would be quite difficult to hide in.

I barely understood chem last semester, so this semester should be interesting I'm gonna actually try and go to the tutorials this time around though lol, I went to the one this week, but I can't go next week which is a bit annoying (although I could go to the one on Friday instead, but I don't know anyone in it and I don't wanna go by myself).

Exams this semester are a bit different to last semester - last semester I had an exam in the middle of the semester and one at the end of the semester for both bio and chem. This semester there's only one exam for bio (at the end of the semester) and there's three exams for chem :'(

I have a job interview on Monday, so hopefully I actually get it (although that means I have to actually go to the interview.....)
Centrelink finally actually cut me off hahaha (I can probably get them to start paying me again but I'll have to call them again, probably more than once :'( think I'm gonna wait to see how this interview goes before I do it)

I finally replied to the email from the canberra dog shelter, will be really cool if I get to volunteer there, hopefully it doesn't take them a month to reply again though (although tbf it did take me 2 months to reply to them)


Gonna sound like a broken record but please do make sure you follow up with a GP or counsellor, PF! You don't have to get through things just by yourself.

All the best for the next semester, I hope that things go as well as possible for you <3
I don't have a whole lot of choice about it anymore haha. To stay at Fenner whilst studying part time I had to get permission from the head of hall and one of her conditions on approving it is that I go back to the doctor, which I'm not particularly thrilled about, but I'm sure it's probably actually a good thing, even if I don't think so.
2019: B. Environment and Sustainability/B. Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing
2021: B. Paramedicine/B. Nursing @ ACU Canberra

turinturambar

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #32 on: July 27, 2019, 09:25:51 pm »
+4
I think I'm going to sneak into some bio lectures for other courses, problem is a lot of the ones that look interesting are in small rooms that would be quite difficult to hide in.

When I was in Uni I attended every lecture of a fourth year subject I wasn't enrolled in (small-ish class and small-ish room), and I think the lecturer and some of the students in the class were aware of that and completely OK with it.  Not that I'd ever assume my experiences were normative...
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PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #33 on: August 16, 2019, 09:13:29 pm »
+12
Yikes, it's been a while.

I'm not really sure what week it is now. Week 4?

I submitted an assignment on time today, which is the first (and so far only) one that's been on time this semester :-\ I should probably actually ask for extensions sometimes lol still not going to though

I got a job a couple of weeks ago.........and then I sorta quit my job (oops). I kinda have another job now, but it's just a temporary one again. I think I have commitment issues. Got interviews for a couple of other jobs but I really doubt they'd go any better than the first one so I'm probably gonna not go (which is also not a good solution but oh well).

I'm a little behind in uni work, but only a weekish, and that's just because the last week has been a bit of a shitshow. I can't really seem to remember how I ever used to be at school 9-3, study more outside that time, work ~15 hours a week, and still have free time?? I do way, way less now, but everything is so much harder :-\

Haven't really learnt anything new in bio, which is annoying. The reports we have to write up after our labs are very tedious though, takes twice as long to reference as it does to write it ::)

I don't really understand anything about chem, but I seem to still be able to answer the questions, so I guess that's okay? I went to one of the tutorials back at the start of the semester, but then stopped going because of work and didn't start again. I should really start going again though, the questions are available online but I should probably socialise and attempt to make friends and all that fun stuff.

Been thinking a bit about what I'm going to do next year with study and all, haven't come up with any answers. No way I'm gonna get approval to stay here if I'm still only doing two courses, moving out has pros and cons, but I like it here (even with the constant fire alarms). Hopefully I'll do more than two courses next year and it won't be an issue though, but we'll see. I should really worry about this semester first haha.
2019: B. Environment and Sustainability/B. Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing
2021: B. Paramedicine/B. Nursing @ ACU Canberra

PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #34 on: August 28, 2019, 11:52:00 am »
+13
Hello.
Another update, despite not a whole lot having happened in the last week-ish (and not as much happening as should have happened  :-\)

This is the last week of classes before mid-sem break. All I really have this week is a bio lab this afternoon, which looks somewhat boring (we're pretty much just learning how to use microscopes). No chem lab because my chem test is friday night, annoyingly in a different location to last semester (and I don't really know where it is, I should probably figure that out).

I'm more prepared for the chem test this time around than I was last semester (I've actually watched my lectures this time...) although I haven't done any of the past exams (yet) and that's probably something I should do.

Bio is...frustrating. TBF I have spent way too much time worrying about other stuff the last couple of weeks which has made it a bit hard to focus, but also writing reports is just hard. And I can't do it for very long at a time because the words start blurring together which makes it a bit hard to find references. The obvious solution to which would be to start it earlier and do a bit each day, but of course I didn't do that. I'd better figure it out real quick though because ~40% of my mark this semester is from these reports. (never thought I would miss doing tests). My first report was due on Thursday and I still haven't submitted it (I did actually do some of it though, so that's an improvement on last semester lol). I supposedly have 10 working days to submit it, and lose 5% per day. Which at the moment puts me at -20%. But any marks are better than none so I should really just submit it anyway (I've only done ~30% worth at the moment though, because the rest of it needs references and I spent an hour reading the same paragraph yesterday and staring blankly at my computer and then gave up). But also I keep wasting hours on that and not getting anywhere and I need to be studying for my chem exam too :(

I think I'm going to go camping again in the mid sem break, which will be nice, although now that it's warm there'll probably be even more people around :'(

Still not sure what I'm going to do next year. This year has felt fairly wasted in a lot of ways, which frustrates me (although I can't help but find the irony of wanting to die whilst also worrying about wasting years amusing). Am somewhat considering taking a semester or a year off uni, although that will mean moving out of fenner and given that the majority of the people I know in Canberra are at fenner, and all of them are at ANU, that's not necessarily a good idea. But then I don't think that what I'm doing at the moment is working particularly well either. Still a little scary to leave what little structure I do have though. I spend so much time at the moment doing what feels like trying to catch up, all the time, and it's making it really hard to do anything else except that or worrying about what I should be doing. And to stay at Fenner next year I'd have to do 3 subjects anyway, and at least one of them would have field trips (potentially more than one depending on which courses I did) and it's all just a bit too hard. And I still haven't really figured out why I'm at uni anyway given I don't know what I want to do with my degree afterwards.

On a bit more of a positive note though, the sunshine the last couple of weeks has been very nice. I've spent most days in the last week studying (or trying to study...) outside and it's way nicer than my room (I don't get any sunlight in my room in winter) and it's better than the floor lounge too. I'm actually kind overheating at the moment lol (It's 14 degrees, apparent temperature is 9 supposedly, but it feels more like 20 to me).
2019: B. Environment and Sustainability/B. Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing
2021: B. Paramedicine/B. Nursing @ ACU Canberra

PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #35 on: September 14, 2019, 08:31:31 pm »
+14
Yeet.
Don't mind the horrible thumbnail.
2019: B. Environment and Sustainability/B. Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing
2021: B. Paramedicine/B. Nursing @ ACU Canberra

PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #36 on: September 17, 2019, 11:38:28 am »
+7
^I have changed my mind at least 5 more times already. Ugh. Did I mention that I hate making decisions?
I should really just make a decision and commit to it and stop wasting so many hours worrying about it when there are more important things that I could be using that time for (...like actually watching my lectures. Which is what I intended to do this morning).
2019: B. Environment and Sustainability/B. Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing
2021: B. Paramedicine/B. Nursing @ ACU Canberra

PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #37 on: September 23, 2019, 03:34:17 pm »
+12
Pretty sure I'm gonna stay at Fenner and study next year now lol (I did say that I'm indecisive). I haven't changed my mind for like, 3 whole days so I might actually stick with this decision (or not).

I'm so far behind on my lectures, which is really annoying and entirely my fault. I need to catch up really soon though because I have another exam in a couple of weeks (organic chem should just stop being a thing already).

I haven't been going for my morning rides lately. Which isn't good cos I get way more stressed & anxious when I don't. But also getting out of bed in the morning is hard when I can barely sleep at night (and sleeping is easier when I've been exercising at least a little, but that would require getting up early which requires sleeping and so on). So that's unpleasant.

I really need to actually submit my lab reports for chem and bio on time this week. Or just submit them at all at least. But there's a bunch of questions in my chem lab that haven't been covered in the lectures I've watched so far. It should have been in the lectures from the first half of the sem, but either it's not or it's all just crammed into the last one that I haven't watched yet.

Assuming the processing times are accurate and I didn't fuck up anything on the form, my name change should finally be done this week (hopefully). Although they're saying it can take a week after that to send me my new birth ceritficate ::). That'll be nice. But also stressful because then I have to fill out a million tonnes of paperwork to change everything else to match and some of that is probably going to require changing things in a certain order which will be annoying and I'm going to have to tell so many people. And I don't even know how that's meant to work for some of my classes, cos like, they have paper rolls and they use them for marks for some things, so then idk if I need to keep putting my online submissions under my old name or if they'll just think to use my uni id rather than name. And I'll have to get a new student card which is frustrating for even more reasons and ugh. And like, I'm gonna have to get a new bank card, which means a different number, and I don't even remember if I have anything connected to it, I don't think so but ugh. And I have to go in person to change my name on federal government stuff (you'd think they could just figure it out amongst themselves ::)) and that will take an entire day because they always have insanely long wait times and not enough staff.

PF's life tip: If you want to change your name, do it in between high school and uni and don't do what I did and decide to change it halfway through the year lol.

Also then I'm eventually gonna get another birth certificate which isn't gonna have my birth name on it so I won't be able to prove that it used to be my name so rip if I forget to change anything before then (although whether something requires proof of connection between names seems to be a bit hit and miss lol). That's gonna take forever though :'( (they still haven't even updated the website or their forms to allow it yet which is a bit sad).

tl;dr I am very stressed about everything and I do not like it.
2019: B. Environment and Sustainability/B. Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing
2021: B. Paramedicine/B. Nursing @ ACU Canberra

caffinatedloz

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #38 on: September 23, 2019, 08:10:19 pm »
+4
tl;dr I am very stressed about everything and I do not like it.
<3 <3

PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #39 on: October 01, 2019, 07:47:12 pm »
+8
I am no less stressed than last time i posted here y a y

I'm almost definitely going to move out of Fenner next year. Not sure where to exactly. I could move to queanbeyan because it's cheap there. It's fairly far away, but only by Canberra standards lol. The other option is to get a sharehouse, either with randos or with some of the other million fenner people who are planning on moving out.

Problem with either of that is my lack of job. I haven't been trying to hard to get one recently because I really didn't want to do it using my old name, so ya know, figured I'd wait. But now is about when Fenner people have started attempting to organise sharehouses but I can't really because no one's going to want to lease to me without proof of income (even though I still have plenty of saving and centrelink will start paying me again sometime soonish probably Jan). So that's frustrating.

But also trying to apply for jobs, organise changing my name on a million different things (I got my new birth certificate today, it's pink for some reason, fairly sure my original wasn't), and also trying to catch up on all my uni work that I'm so far behind on is very frustrating.

I wish I'd taken a gap year.

Gonna go tomorrow to change my name for access canberra stuff and human services stuff. Also got to go get a new passport and all that.
Also I changed my name with the official ANU system, but apparently they can't change my name on wattle (our version of moodle) or my email. The person I emailed gave me a link to change it on there, but it had a bunch of different sections and the only part I could change was preferred name (and even that has to get approved), so I might have to email them again.

I'm gonna drop bio because I'm about to fail it (don't you just love when you submit all your assignments so late that you'd fail from late penalties despite having an EAP so that you could easily get extensions? why. do. i. do. this. to. myself.) Which means I'm only gonna still be doing one class this semester. Which is quite sad. Also I might fail that too. How am I barely doing better than I was last semester when I didn't watch half my lectures last semester. I've already lost so many marks from late penalties for that too lmao. And then more marks from the weekly quizzes because I'm behind in lectures and so can't do them yet. Did I mention that I should have taken a gap year?

So uh yeah. That's my life I guess.
Not sure what I'm gonna do re:study next year. Next year should *hopefully* be way less stressful than this year. Also paying $100/week less in rent, and actually having some YA left for food and stuff will make worrying about work way less of a problem. So maybe I'll manage to actually pass some classes.

There's so much stuff I have to organise over the next two months or so, and I'm kinda worried that's gonna make studying harder (I still have three exams to pass). But also I think the majority of it (aside from finding somewhere to live from December) should be mostly organised in the next few weeks. But also I'm so fkn tired all the time and have no will to do anything despite knowing that I have to and that's making life a little hard. It would probably help if I ate something other than 2 minute noodles occasionally. But also can anxiety just stop being a thing. Like seriously, the world would be so much better without it.


Want to know something really weird though? Since I changed my name on fb a week ago I've gotten 10 new friend requests. TEN. In one week. I am quite confused.

Edit: Did I mention that I screw up than/then and your/you're a lot when I'm stressed and/or anxious?
« Last Edit: October 01, 2019, 09:05:41 pm by PhoenixxFire »
2019: B. Environment and Sustainability/B. Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing
2021: B. Paramedicine/B. Nursing @ ACU Canberra

PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #40 on: October 12, 2019, 01:51:22 pm »
+11
So I've totally given up on uni for the year lol. Love me some academic probation yeet

But anyway I made yet another impulsive decision, I was going to work next year, but I think I'm going to not do that. My grandma left me money when she died and I think I'm going to use that to go travelling. I'm not really sure for how long - I'm thinking I'll probably come back and study second semester next year, but I'm not really sure. If I come back for second semester next year, it'll only be 5 months that I have to actually do stuff for, and then I could go travelling again over summer. And surely even I can manage to study for 5 months lol.

I really don't know where to go though haha. Also I'm kind of sad that given I'd probably be going to the northern hemisphere, I'm going to miss summer  :'( (although I'm sure if I stayed here until Feb I'd be very eager to leave).

My sister lives in England these days, so I suppose I could visit her at some point. I kind of want to go to Egypt because pyramids, but that's about the extent of me having plans. I've only ever been overseas once before and it was to nepal on a school trip (nice place btw, would recommend).

If I'm going to study second semester then I should probably be planning on being back in Aus by early June at the latest - also thought about travelling around Australia for a bit but I think I might run out of time haha. Not really sure when I'd leave - my contract here is until the start of December, but I might visit my family for a bit before going overseas, I haven't seen them all year (....and more importantly, I haven't seen my pets all year and I miss them). So probably 6 ish months overseas. If anyone has been travelling more than me and has suggestions for cool places hmu.


Although speaking of travelling, I should probably finish updating my name on everything. Need to get myself a new passport and all that lol. Also still need to update a bunch of other stuff - I emailed fenner about whether I needed to update any of the forms they have so that changing my name with my bank doesn't cause issues for my rent or anything, but it's been a week and they seem to be ignoring me ::)
2019: B. Environment and Sustainability/B. Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing
2021: B. Paramedicine/B. Nursing @ ACU Canberra

hums_student

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #41 on: October 12, 2019, 06:20:45 pm »
+7
Taking a few months off to travel sounds like a great plan very jealous ngl haha. Are you thinking of going alone or will you go with some friends?

My sister lives in England these days, so I suppose I could visit her at some point. I kind of want to go to Egypt because pyramids, but that's about the extent of me having plans. I've only ever been overseas once before and it was to nepal on a school trip (nice place btw, would recommend).

I just came back from a 2-week trip to Egypt and it's an absolutely beautiful place. Very worth travelling to. If you're planning to go there, be sure to check out their ancient temples as well (because the pyramids are so ridiculously crowded with tourists you can barely see anything lol).
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PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #42 on: November 27, 2019, 05:14:06 pm »
+15
Hello.
It's been a while. I'm not dead (surprisingly) and have completely changed what I'm planning to do next year yet again (unsurprisingly).

So now the current haphazard life plan has me studying again next semester lmao. IDK how I ended up back at what was the original plan but here we are.

The problem with this plan is that I don't know if life seems slightly more tolerable at the moment because I'm just happier or because I'm not dealing with the extra stress of studying. And if it just is because I'm not studying at the moment then we're gonna have problems because if I fail more than half my subjects again I'm going to get kicked out of uni.

But anyway. Going to be in Melbourne from next week until new years ish. Going to be strange living with my family again bets on how many times they get my name wrong? but it will be nice to see my pets again. And also there's this book at the state library that I was reading last summer and didn't manage to finish before I moved to canberra and I would love to actually read the last few chapters haha. Also will hopefully get to spend some time with my little brothers but they're getting all grown up now so idk how that will go. Going to move into a sharehouse next year rather than returning to fenner because cheaper + less fire alarms (hopefully none) + no pressure to study full time if I end up dropping subjects again.

I'm not leaving Canberra until Tuesday and I think I might just about be the last person left in Fenner by then. So many people have left already - it's very nice having kitchens that are actually useable again. Less nice that the fire alarms have picked the last couple of weeks to return in force.

I'm taking my bike with me to melbourne (even though I've probably already spent more on transporting my bike back and forth between melbourne and canberra than it's actually worth haha) but I'm quite attached to it so I went to get a box from a random bike shop today to pack my bike into and carried the box - which is close to 2m long - back on a bus which was very amusing.

I've barely started packing my stuff and it's kinda just all over my floor at the moment, but then I do still have a week to do it. I'm going to chuck most of my stuff into storage over summer but I haven't organised that yet but really probably should do it soon.

I really want to go for a swim in the lake before I go back to melbourne - I'm thinking maybe on Friday given that seems to be the hottest day this week. I'm probably going to get very sunburnt again though. I should really hurry up and figure out how to french braid my hair so it doesn't get too knotted - I'm getting slightly better at it, now it only looks like one bird has made its home it in rather than 10.

I was going to write something else but I got distracted arguing with someone on fb (it wasn't much of an argument - the only claim I made the entire time is written in very unambiguous terms on the governments document about it hahahah) but anyway now I can't remember what else I was going to say so that'll do for now <3
2019: B. Environment and Sustainability/B. Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing
2021: B. Paramedicine/B. Nursing @ ACU Canberra

Bri MT

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #43 on: November 27, 2019, 09:53:45 pm »
+6
I'm glad you're going to be in Melbourne as it would be great to catch up again :)

I hope you do go for that swim in the lake & that living with your family again surpasses your expectations.

PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #44 on: February 27, 2020, 06:21:12 pm »
+17
Hello and welcome back to the hilarity/horror show that is Morgan attempting to do uni.


The last few months have been fun. And by fun I do of course mean decidedly horrible. I was going to go stay with my family over christmas/new years but that went super badly so I ended up leaving again before christmas, spent christmas and new years housesitting in canberra looking after a very good doggo named Riggy and suffocating in the smoke. Stayed at various places between leaving there and the end of Jan because I have no organisation or planning skills, moved into a sharehouse at the end of Jan which is cool, even comes with a stray catto who likes to pretend that this is his home. Have also spent the last couple of months fighting centrelink (and them managing to mess something up pretty much every time I called them and then me having to call them extra times and ugh) but that's finally all sorted now I think and they approved my application to be assessed as independent so I don't have to talk to my parents anymore yay.

Finally went to go see a doctor again #ResponsibleAdult. She's a heap better than previous dr so thank fuck for that. She gave me anti depressants that knocked me out for about a week haha but I'm awake again and I'm not sure if that's a good thing, sleeping was kinda nice.

I've just finished my first week of uni for the year, don't have classes on friday this week but I will from next week. I'm doing three courses this semester, two of which are first year enviro courses, and a second year biol course. My only compulsory classes are on Wednesday and Friday. Wednesday I have a two hour tutorial, one hour break, then a 3 hour prac so that won't be super fun. Friday I have a 3 hour prac (which is either statistics or a field trip) then a two hour break and then a tutorial for the same class which sounds equally exhausting.

envs1001 - this course seems like it's going to be a bit like vce outdoor ed. It's called geography of sustainability and is about relationships between people and environments. There's an oral presentation as part of the assessment which is yikes.

envs1003 - this is an environmental statistics course. The convenor spent a lot of the first lecture trying to convince us that statistics aren't scary. I remain unconvinced.

biol2161 - this is about replication and expression of genes, a lot of the stuff we've done this week feels very repetitive, especially given first year biol was a prereq for it, but it's meant to go more in depth than what I already know so hopefully it actually does.

Most worried about passing envs1001 because it is largely based around essays and writing makes me panic. envs1003 also has a fair bit of writing but the marks are more spread out across multiple tasks. biol2161 is largely assessed through tests but there are also a few prac reports throughout the semester which hasn't exactly gone well for me in the past.
Hopefully this semester goes at least slightly better than the last, but that's not exactly a very high bar to be setting haha
2019: B. Environment and Sustainability/B. Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing
2021: B. Paramedicine/B. Nursing @ ACU Canberra