The Park
The Park was on the corner of Tupac Lane and Johnston’s Avenue. Ever since I could remember, it had been a picture of loneliness and devastation. Long ago, the council had cut off the water supply, starving the sprinklers that gave the park a chance to live. The play equipment that had once upon a time provided happiness and life for little children, now lay dormant and abandoned like a ruined castle. Once it had use, but now it had no purpose. In its prime, the park was the most popular place in town. It was the ideal destination for picnickers and families, all looking to get away from the filth and noise of the town. One day, all this life was abruptly brought to an end. Its intentions of bringing about happiness and pleasure, changed like the tide. News swept around town as fast as lightning. Headlines read, ‘GIRL DISSAPEARS WITHOUT A TRACE’. It was all anyone talked about. Someone had gone missing, a young girl of five. The police never found a trace of her. All they found was her kindergarten name tag, ‘Alesha Johnston’. Now, nobody visited the park and a brick wall had been erected to keep people out.
∞
The pavement was wet and covered in puddles. Each step created a splash that sent little droplets of water flying through the air. The sun was shining, its rays poking through the clouds and providing warmth for anything they could reach. I had walked along the path on the side of Tupac Lane so many times that my footprints were indented into the concrete slabs. As I reached the end of the road, I noticed a pile of rubble. Strewn over the path was a heap of weathered bricks, the mortar in little pieces on the ground. Where the old brick wall once stood, was now a gaping hole. The storm that had rocked the town last night had dislodged the bricks from the wall, causing it to tumble. I peered cautiously through the hole. Brambles and weeds hindered my vision, and I couldn’t clearly see what was behind the wall. I brushed away the plants, curious. They crumbled like old pieces of paper. Through the hole, a new world was revealed. The hidden world was run down and desolate. Any life had long ago been sucked from existence in this wasteland. Dead trees twisted their way upwards, bare gravel lay where once grass sprouted. In the middle of this forsaken environment sat the same old play equipment. It was rusted and covered in creepers, but it was still standing. I looked around and saw a sign. It read ‘The Park’.
∞
I felt drawn to it, like a magnetic force was pulling me in. I gingerly stepped over the rubble, each step sending down an avalanche of debris. The path behind me seemed to evaporate from my mind. I could only walk towards the park. I stopped; it was if I had woken up from a dream. In front of me was a rusty swing set, held up by rotting timber beams. Next to it was the old slide. It was dented and covered in dust an inch thick. I remembered where I was. This was the same park that I walked past every day to school. This park had been a sanctuary of fun for me and my friends many years ago, but I had grown out of it. Teenagers didn’t play in parks. It had the same name and the same ruined equipment, but somehow it seemed different this time. Something moved to my left. I spun around to see nothing but dead bushes and a broken park bench.
“Who’s there?” I called.
No reply.
“Is anyone there?”
Still no reply. The laughter of a little girl echoed through the poplars. I spun around but the park was empty. Everything looked the same. Then I noticed the slide. Down the middle was a distinct swipe. There was no dust, someone had just slid down it.
∞
I ran. I wanted to get away from whatever it was back at the play equipment. I looked for an exit to the park, but everywhere I looked, there seemed to be only the same red brick wall. Then I noticed a small building in the corner of the park. I ran towards it hoping it contained something useful. The building was a small hut. The red brick walls were brown with dust and the rusted tin roof had a hole in it. Hanging on by one hinge, a rotten wooden door blocked the entrance. I pushed the door and it swung inwards with a groan. Casting yellow light throughout the hut, sunlight streamed through the hole in the roof. The rays were visible in the storm of dust floating around and it smelled musty and old yet still, I was drawn to step inside the hut. As my eyes adjusted to the strange light, I noticed some tools in the corner. A hammer with a cracked handle and rusted head lay next to a blunt saw and a broken pick.
“Perfect”, I thought to myself. “I can use this to destroy the wall and get out of this haunted place”.
I bent down to pick up the hammer. Suddenly I heard a crash behind me. I whipped around to see the door shut. I ran to the door and pounded on it. No matter how hard I pushed, the door wouldn’t budge. I raised the hammer and swung. Shards of rotten wood were sent flying. When the dust cleared, the same giggling laughter rang out once again.
“Who are you?” I screamed.
“What’s the matter, don’t you like hide-and-seek?” a voice replied.
I froze. I tried to scream but nothing came out. Cold sweat ran down my face like rivers down a mountain. I felt the blood drain from my face. I dropped the hammer and it fell to the ground with a crash. The noise brought me back to my senses. I turned to see a little girl of about five. She was wearing her school uniform, as new as the first day of kindergarten. Her hair was tied neatly into two plaits, and her face spotless but as pale as a full moon. Her head was cocked to the side and she was staring up at me with big, empty eyes that pierced through me like daggers. She seemed to float there, like a lost soul.
“Who are you?” I asked again, my voice trembling with fear.
“I’m Alesha Johnston”, the voice replied. “Do you want to play?”
REFLECTION:
English Assessment Task 2 Reflection
‘Voices in Park’ inspired me to craft a creative piece in the narrative form to explore the idea of a park as the custodian secret. The setting of the park in the illustrated novel is a context wherein many people come to have joy and fun and where the innocence of children can sometimes be disastrous. I utilized the first-person voice as I believe it enabled me to develop insights into the characters feelings and their view of the world. My story is situated in a park that has been closed due to the disappearance of a young girl. After a storm knocks a hole in the wall surrounding it, the character discovers a new perspective of the park. The character then is drawn into this new world where he discovers it might not be as empty as he previously thought. Something else is in the park and is causing mischief.
I chose to alter the atmosphere of the stimulus text to create a narrative exploring the darker side of humanity by writing a scary story. It also gave the story a certain edge about it that is perhaps different to others doing the task. Throughout the story I incorporated techniques like similes, dialogue and foreshadowing. I used many similes and metaphors to give the reader an idea of the context of each situation in the story. For example, dead plants crumble like old paper and news spread as fast as lightning. I used dialogue to provide insights into the feelings and emotions of the character which not only made the story more interesting, but also engaged the reader. For example, the character screams “Who are you?” in the story because of their uncertainty. My story also has an element of foreshadowing which was used to create suspense in the story and give a hint to what is going to happen in the story, without actually saying it. I used imagery to provide more description and make the reader feel as if they are experiencing what is happening in the story. At the start of my story, I incorporated a flashback. This was to provide the reader with a bit of background information which makes the story make more sense. I ended my story with a cliffhanger. I did this to create tension and make the story more thrilling. It was also another way to get the reader more involved as they could create their own ending and question childhood innocence and loneliness.
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Topic: English Assessment Task: Creative Writing. Please give me feedback. (Read 704 times)