Login

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

March 29, 2024, 12:50:21 pm

Author Topic: How can I grow up lol  (Read 1139 times)  Share 

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

BKmaps

  • Adventurer
  • *
  • Posts: 18
  • BK
  • Respect: +1
How can I grow up lol
« on: February 02, 2019, 12:48:39 pm »
+2
Basically I'm 17 atm and I haven't grown up yet. My mind is still immature like a 14 year old, when I talk to new people I greet em by saying " Hey yo how it doing " trying to sound cool, which means I defos don't know how to talk formally. Also females scare me and I feel they think I'm slightly retarded coz of these things. Also I game heaps. PLEASE TELL ME IF THIS IS NORMAL AND HOW DO I BECOME A BIG BOY?
englinguistics 36
mysoftdev 43
methhead 35
speshal kids 29
chemotherapy 30
physically hard 31

atar 92.75 somehow
2019 rox

Aaron

  • Honorary Moderator
  • ATAR Notes Legend
  • *******
  • Posts: 3932
  • Respect: +1536
Re: How can I grow up lol
« Reply #1 on: February 02, 2019, 01:04:06 pm »
+18
Put yourself in a situation where you have responsibility. I was actually in a really similar position when I was younger (around your age) and I found that taking some sort of responsibility helped. You clearly have a good brain in there given your sig (43 in SD is a great achievement btw, grats).

Have you ever had a job? Not trying to be a dick here but practicing that communication in a professional environment would give you some exposure. Even if you applied for some leadership role or something... Communicating more formally and transitioning from that immature grade 6 bull is something that is learnt and takes time. If you've never had exposure apart from gaming etc, then of course you won't know how.

I'm 24 and I still act immature at times (I have permission I teach the young kids) but I felt a big change for me was when I took on a tutoring job at university - it completely changed me and gave me something where what I say and do has consequences.

In terms of the 'scared of women and thinking you're retarded'.. Of course they are going to think you are if you act like a complete knob and don't talk in a normal way. The gaming probably doesn't help your case because of the loose language used. You really have to understand the environment you're in and cater to that. When you game, it's probably more socially acceptable to use that type of language but in the real world where your interactions actually mean something, it's not. I tried picturing your quote "Hey yo how it doing" in my head and I couldn't picture a scenario where that sounded normal in any way. I would also question whether you act like this to seek attention or to (try and) gain approval from peers.. again, not being a dick but it's a very common theme among teens.

I really hope this isn't just a troll post because you can definitely change if you feel that your behaviour/actions are negatively influencing how people perceive you. I'd usually say just don't give shit what people think but in your case I think we need to make an exception.
« Last Edit: February 02, 2019, 01:14:00 pm by Aaron »
Experience in teaching at both secondary and tertiary levels.

website // new forum profile

BKmaps

  • Adventurer
  • *
  • Posts: 18
  • BK
  • Respect: +1
Re: How can I grow up lol
« Reply #2 on: February 02, 2019, 01:17:28 pm »
+1
Put yourself in a situation where you have responsibility. I was actually in a really similar position when I was younger (around your age) and I found that taking some sort of responsibility helped. You clearly have a good brain in there given your sig (43 in SD is a great achievement btw, grats).

Have you ever had a job? Not trying to be a dick here but practicing that communication in a professional environment would give you some exposure. Even if you applied for some leadership role or something... Communicating more formally and transitioning from that immature grade 6 bull is something that is learnt and takes time. If you've never had exposure apart from gaming etc, then of course you won't know how.

I'm 24 and I still act immature at times (I have permission I teach the young kids) but I felt a big change for me was when I took on a tutoring job at university - it completely changed me and gave me something where what I say and do has consequences.

In terms of the 'scared of women and thinking you're retarded'.. Of course they are going to think you are if you act like a complete knob and don't talk in a normal way. The gaming probably doesn't help your case because of the loose language used. You really have to understand the environment you're in and cater to that. When you game, it's probably more socially acceptable to use that type of language but in the real world where your interactions actually mean something, it's not. I tried picturing your quote "Hey yo how it doing" in my head and I couldn't picture a scenario where that sounded normal in any way.

I really hope this isn't just a troll post because you can definitely change if you feel that your behaviour/actions are negatively influencing how people perceive you. I'd usually say just don't give shit what people think but in your case I think we need to make an exception.

Thank you for the advice. And currently yes I have never worked before within a group of people. I think it's because I have been provided a lot of things (materialistic stuff and all that idk probably spoilt stuff) which I now realise probably isnt impacting me great in the long run. I also think as a result my deduction skills and analytical skills are lacking which wont be good for english rip. So I don't understand how to go about responsibility, as in what things should i do?
englinguistics 36
mysoftdev 43
methhead 35
speshal kids 29
chemotherapy 30
physically hard 31

atar 92.75 somehow
2019 rox

Lear

  • MOTM: JUL 18
  • Part of the furniture
  • *****
  • Posts: 1170
  • Respect: +328
Re: How can I grow up lol
« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2019, 01:26:24 pm »
+4

So I don't understand how to go about responsibility, as in what things should i do?

As Aaron suggested, getting a job would be an excellent growth experience.
Some other things include volunteering, joining a sports club, running for leadership positions at your school and doing extra curricular activities such as debating.
2018: ATAR: 99.35
Subjects
English: 44
Methods: 43
Further Maths: 50
Chemistry: 46
Legal: 40
2019: Bachelor of Medical Science and Doctor of Medicine @ Monash

LifeisaConstantStruggle

  • Forum Obsessive
  • ***
  • Posts: 324
  • Respect: +104
Re: How can I grow up lol
« Reply #4 on: February 03, 2019, 12:20:27 am »
+3
Even at your early 20s you might find a lot of really immature people so take it easy hahaha.

Have you tried reading something seriously? A novel would be nice to start with, and it doesn't really need to be novels that deal with complicated emotions. What's most important is that you take your time to let the implicit messages linger in your brain for a bit, which is a pretty neat emotional enrichment exercise and would definitely be beneficial in morphing the way you think about the world and subsequently your maturity as well. If you think you can handle more definitely read more and repeat the same process.
That might help? I know it helped for me defs.
2018-2020: Bachelor of Actuarial Science (+ Econometrics), Monash
2021: Bachelor of Commerce (Honours), Econometrics & Financial Mathematics, Monash
2022-2023: Work and some soul-searching