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April 20, 2024, 03:20:29 am

Author Topic: UPCOMING BURIAL RITES ESSAY!!  (Read 2589 times)  Share 

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Benji414

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UPCOMING BURIAL RITES ESSAY!!
« on: April 20, 2017, 02:07:44 pm »
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Hey team,

I have an upcoming sac on burial rites and I'm not sure how ill perform. I have written this practise essay to the best of my abilities SO ....
any comment I receive Ill definitely take it onboard!!!!

Cheers

 
Natan shouts: “Remember your place, Agnes!” ‘Agnes’s problem is that she has no place to belong.’ Do you agree?


 Kent’s novel “Burial Rites” depicts the journey of Agnes Magnusdottir and her struggle to fit into a society that is different. Amidst the populace, Agnes is caged by labels that prevent her from attaining a sense of belonging. Furthermore, her endeavour to belong is sensed through the presence of Natan but soon diminishes over the time of his death. Despite this, the author ends on an optimistic note. The presence of the family at Kornsa, reignites a sense of belonging within Agnes and deems her as one who is accepted. 


The labels and depictions shunned on Agnes inhibits societies choice to offer her a place. Through the death of Natan Ketilsson Agnes’ sense of identity is fragmented by her status as a ‘murderess’. The notion that Agnes is now seen as 'an inhumane witch, stirring up murder' reveals her inability to reconcile her identity within society. Kent exemplifies society’s misperception of Agnes through the appearance of Rosa, deeming her as an outsider. Agnes is misperceived by the crowd gathered around her as the “Fjandi! Devil”, as she feels the ‘comfort’ of Rosa, ‘someone [she] recognised’. That presenting Rosa’s disappearance at the remark of the crowd, the only person she could recognise, Kent implies that society has ultimately betrayed Agnes at the cause of their own portrayals of her. Furthermore, her description as being “too clever” is not favourably looked upon by society. Even Agnes believes that society withholds their pity and acceptance of her. As through the presence of knowing her to be “too smart”, she deviates from the common role as a female, representing something unordinary, witch-like, as they say; “…a thinking woman cannot be trusted”. This proposition amongst other depictions inevitably leads to Agnes inability to belong in society.


Natan’s nurturing of Agnes offers her a near ample place of acceptance. Agnes feature of a hollow palm epitomises an ‘empty space’ that she resides in, a state of unacceptance in society. Metaphorically, through the conception of the hollow palm as suggested by Natan, she can only attain that space through their inseparability, ‘by covering it’ with his own hands. Being ‘offered…friendship’ she conceals herself further from ‘the world’ and society and clings onto him as ‘[they’re] the same kind’. In spite of this new hope, Natan allays their future and ‘becomes more of a stranger’ to her. His love for her oscillates and eventually dries up at the company of Sigga. Although initially he ‘made [her] feel [she] was enough’ and would ‘haul [her] out of her ‘loveless life,’ ‘all that while, there was sigga.’ That the conception of her struggle to belong is near but not yet complete reveals Agnes ultimate struggle to fit in, even with Natan.


 Kent’s novel, however, closes on an optimistic note. Agnes is now the property of the family at Kornsa and ‘had seemed part of the family’. The burning of Agnes’ dress as executed by Margret symbolizes the removal of Agnes’ past and her history of isolation and ossifying a new identity within the Kornsa family. Treating her in a ‘familiar way… like a sister’, the family acknowledge that she is ‘not a monster’ and that ‘it wasn’t her fault.’ By removing the label placed on Agnes, the family are able to accept her for who she is rather than the ‘things [she’s] done’, thus acknowledging her humanity, an act that society could never take. Additionally, Margret’s act of placing the few items of beauty owned by the family beside Agnes reveals that she has attained acceptance. Here, Kent implicitly depicts Agnes as one who will walk to the execution shrouded not in the grey clothes of a servant but in the warmth of clothing and accessories that show that she was someone, that she belonged.


 The pervasive idea to belong as attempted by Agnes in Kent’s Burial Rites is hindered by many obstacles. Social norms and stigmas prevent Agnes from ever attaining a sense of belonging. Natan’s acceptance of Agnes ignites a personal sense of belonging which too is quenched. However, the reader is left with an overwhelming sense of optimism. Agnes acceptance, offered by the family at Kornsa, reassures her that she will be ‘remember[ed]’, that she has found her ‘place’.   

zhen

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Re: UPCOMING BURIAL RITES ESSAY!!
« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2017, 07:51:53 pm »
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I'm guessing that you may have already had your SAC, but this feedback might help you in the future. Note that I haven't read your book, so some things I say in my feedback may be flawed.
Positives
-Overall really good essay
-Introduction is clear and addresses the topic
-Expression is clear and nice
-Good imbedding of quotes
-Explores techniques like metaphors in detail

Things I think you should improve on (this is only my opinion so it might be wrong)
-Your conclusion just reiterates everything you said in the introduction. Instead of doing this you should draw a conclusion from your paragraphs. So, basically say your main point in the essay. I get the feeling that your main point is that despite initially being ostracised by society, Agnes eventually gains becomes acceptance of the family at Kornsa and ultimately has a place to belong. However, you never really actively say this, instead it's implied.
-Adding onto the earlier point, because you don't draw a conclusion from your paragraphs, each paragraph feels separated and I don't see how they add to your main contention
-At a couple of times I feel like you misuse words or your expression is confusing.
These are examples
"The pervasive idea to belong as attempted by Agnes in Kent’s Burial Rites is hindered by many obstacles."
This sentence seems really convoluted.
"Agnes feature of a hollow palm epitomises an ‘empty space’..."
The word epitomises means it's a perfect example of. I feel like the word epitomises is used incorrectly, since although the hollow palm is not example of ‘empty space’ that she resides in, since she does not reside in her palm. Instead it symbolises the empty space she resides in.
-I feel like your essay is a bit short, but that's just my opnion.

I think that overall this is an amazing essay. It was really hard to find stuff to critique and I was really impressed by the contents of the essay. So good job and keep up the good work.  :)

Benji414

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Re: UPCOMING BURIAL RITES ESSAY!!
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2017, 10:47:19 pm »
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Hey Zhan,
As a matter of fact, my SAC is tomorrow :)! thank you so much for this feedback, Its really great man i appreciate it! ;)
Will do for sac(from your help): :D
-4 Body Paragraphs instead of 3 (for a longer and perhaps more insightful essay) very important
-draw conclusion from the paragraphs not from intro.
-I have to use show sophistication through the combination of words rather than showing sophistication in choice of words. 
;D dont ever use epitomise!
Best Wishes
Ben
« Last Edit: May 03, 2017, 10:56:56 pm by Benji414 »

zhen

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Re: UPCOMING BURIAL RITES ESSAY!!
« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2017, 11:32:00 pm »
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Hey Zhan,
As a matter of fact, my SAC is tomorrow :)! thank you so much for this feedback, Its really great man i appreciate it! ;)
Will do for sac(from your help): :D
-4 Body Paragraphs instead of 3 (for a longer and perhaps more insightful essay) very important
-draw conclusion from the paragraphs not from intro.
-I have to use show sophistication through the combination of words rather than showing sophistication in choice of words. 
;D dont ever use epitomise!
Best Wishes
Ben
No problems. Just to clarify, you don't have to do 4 paragraphs, unless you're given over an hour to write your essay for your SAC. If you are given over an hour then I would definitely recommend doing 4 paragraphs. I was just saying that it was a bit short, since it's about 700 words and generally the optimum length is about 800 to 900 (in my opinion, but it can be longer depending on the amount of time given to complete your SAC)
« Last Edit: May 03, 2017, 11:35:04 pm by zhen »