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March 29, 2024, 04:05:26 pm

Author Topic: English  (Read 701 times)  Share 

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minhkhanguyen

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English
« on: July 14, 2019, 08:52:52 pm »
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Hey , i would anything to take around 5-10 minutes out of their time to read my oral speech and provide their opinions if they would like. Thank you.
p.s i know that cannabis is legalised but it's still acceptable my teachers said. :)

Good Morning/Evening or good night
I am here to hopefully convince you that cannabis should stay and be legalised medically. Cannabis is subsequently abused and utilized as an illegal drug but we’re talking about a plant, here right? It is regarded highly, as a controversial issue but Cannabis is medicine. This plant-based treatment should be an accessible and affordable healthcare choice for all patients. If utilised correctly medical cannabis can be an asset to the economy and in the health field. Cannabis can be used to treat numerous diseases and can be used for pain relief. If legalising cannabis happens, means there is a new product on the shelf to tax which can help stimulate the Australian economy. Also, medical cannabis is relatively safe and more effective in medicinal field. Of course, legalising cannabis for medicinal purposes means for medical use not any form of recreational use.
Numerous studies prove that cannabis in its medical form can be beneficial for patients suffering from serious diseases. To be more precise, there are several groups of diseases with symptoms that can relieved by cannabis. Such as Epilepsy, Multiple sclerosis, Cancer, Arthritis but I don’t have much time, lets go into depth for Arthritis
Arthritis, Arthritis is a disease that causes a swelling in the joint which causes pains. The symptoms of arthritis are usually stiffness, pain and swelling around the joints. Then the other symptoms come, you get tired more quickly, restless sleep starts happening, and over time it progressively becomes difficult even to use your own hands but Arthritis can be reduced or even eliminated with the help of cannabis.  Arthritis is caused by a swelling in the joint whereas cannabis is known as an anti-swelling in the joint. A study shown from school of public health, university of south Caroline showed that the THC and CBD which is a substance in cannabis are the ones help prevent and fight the pain and swelling.
There are also several diseases that cannabis can treat. In Australia there are several people suffering, the medications aren’t working. This is a similar situation as euthanasia, people are in debilitating situations, they are constantly suffering. But let’s put it this way all of us 17-18 year old ( include teachers age lol ) you guys lived freely lives not suffering anything major from what I’ve known, we were able to eat by ourselves, do things ourselves and do what we as individuals like. But there are people out there who cannot do what WE do that is suffering from something we don’t suffer from and can only be helped by a natural plant whom is illegal.

Legalising cannabis for medicinal purposes, means there is an extra product on the shelf. This will create new companies, the dude down the road can now grow medicinal cannabis legally and of course licenses and permits will be applied to be able to grow it and access it. But lets think about It economically. Legalising it These would not only create jobs and new firms but also set the ball rolling for economic activity in the pot industry in these areas. An RCG Economics and Cannabis Policy Group study on Nevada says that legalizing recreational cannabis in the state could support over 41,000 jobs till 2024 and generate over $1.7 billion in labour income. Now that is just in 1 state in America, could you imagine how much for the whole of Australia?
 New product means that can taxed and goes towards the current account balance of Australia. Did you know that Australia is in debt?  On the page ‘The Guardian’ there was an article that said Legalising cannabis would reap the Australian economy almost $2bn a year, quoted by the Parliamentary Budget Office. 2 billion??? Do you know with that amount of money, you can pretty much do anything? Reduce the Australian debt, invest in infrastructure, create more schools, create more roads, more hospitals. This will boost Australia so much. With that money coming in just from Cannabis, the government could create a warm decision and reduce income tax, right? Legalising cannabis will help Australia a lot, isn’t it obvious?

Cannabis is often seen as a big, bad scary drug because it’s illegal and because people have been brought up to think that being illegal automatically implies danger. The truth is that cannabis can often prove less dangerous, less negative side effects and are MORE effective medically than the perfectly legal prescription (and even non-prescription. Former US Surgeon General, Jocelyn Elders stated that ‘cannabis is less toxic than many of the drugs that physicians prescribe everyday’.
Like, Xanax is used to treat anxiety and is still legal when, we have strains like MK Ultra or AC/DC and Jet Fuel, that are high in CBD and can reduce anxiety. They do the same effect, but Xanax has a higher risk of overdose (refer to rappers and how no overdose for rappers no everyone cannabis)
But The fact that no one has EVER died from a cannabis overdose really shows how dangerous the plant is right? But the harm that cannabis does to you if no more than a cough in the throat (if you’re smoking it) Critics claim cannabis causes schizophrenia. Schizophrenia occurs naturally in 1 percent of the global population if cannabis did cause it, then the data would show a rise in schizophrenia cases in American states that legalize cannabis, but the data doesn’t exist. People claim cannabis causes so many mental problems but in all honestly, it’s not more dangerous than any prescriptive drug if use medicinally.
Cannabis is not the horror drug many people make it out to be. When used in the right way it can be extremely beneficial to those with serious illness or disease. It has the ability to treat so many illnesses with, so few side effects compared to traditional medications, both prescription and over the counter and it is proven to be SAFE. If it is legalised it has the potential to earn the Australian government over million or even BILLIONS in taxes per year. If cannabis were legalised strictly for medicinal purposes, it would only be going to those who need it. Those who have severely debilitating or terminal illnesses. No one should have the ability to deny someone of lifesaving medication, yet it’s happening every day in Australia. If your child was suffering, would you risk jail to treat your child? That’s a choice that parents and carers are faced with in Australia. And it shouldn’t even be a question






















scout

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Re: English
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2019, 06:31:07 pm »
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Hi, good work, here's my feedback:

- Start more strongly. E.g. you might include shock statistics that show just how prevalent the use of cannabis is, or how often criminal cases relating to cannabis occur. If the numbers are big, that would suggest something about the appeal of cannabis.

- Can you find another argument/point? The point about the economic benefits of cannabis isn't strong; it would justify the sale of any commercially successful product whether good OR bad. You might want to dig deeper into the solutions and make proposals about how cannabis use could be regulated by looking to other countries that have already legalised it.

- Proofread - I know this is probably still only a rough draft but the speech is a bit hard to follow at times.

Let me know if you have any questions  :)
« Last Edit: July 16, 2019, 06:35:43 pm by scout »
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caffinatedloz

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Re: English
« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2019, 08:26:16 pm »
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Hey! Not super experienced in English... but hopefully you'll get some other feedback as well.

Good Morning/Evening or good night
I am here (I'm not 100% sure, but I don't think this is the conventional way to begin a persuasive oral) to hopefully convince you that cannabis should stay and be legalised medically. Cannabis is subsequently abused and utilized as an illegal drug but we’re talking about a plant, here right? (Perhaps don't use this as your second sentence, instead acknowledge this later.) It is regarded highly, as a controversial issue but cannabis is medicine. This plant-based treatment should be an accessible and affordable healthcare choice for all patients. If utilised correctly medical cannabis can be an asset to the economy and in the health field. Cannabis can be used to treat numerous diseases and can be used for pain relief. If legalising cannabis happens (If cannabis is legalised), means there is a new product on the shelf to tax which can help stimulate the Australian economy (this would boost the Australian economy by providing a new option for tax revenue.). Also (Furthermore), medical cannabis is relatively safe and more effective (more effective at doing what? relieving pain?) in (the medical) medicinal field. Of course, legalising cannabis for medicinal purposes means for medical use not any form of recreational use. (This sentence could be reworded to sound clearer and more persuasive.)

[ Numerous studies prove that cannabis in its medical form can be beneficial for patients suffering from serious diseases. To be more precise, there are several groups of diseases with symptoms that can be relieved by cannabis. ] (These two sentences could be combined.) Such as Examples include epilepsy, multiple sclerosis, cancer and arthritis but I don’t have much time, lets go into depth for Arthritis (this is probably an unnecessary sentence or else could be reworded)
Arthritis, Arthritis is a disease that causes a (painful) swelling in the joints which causes pains. The Symptoms of arthritis are usually include stiffness, pain and swelling around the joints. Then the other symptoms come (You could reword this by saying "on top of this" or "in addition..."), you get tired more quickly, restless sleep starts happening, and over time it progressively becomes difficult even to use your own hands but arthritis can be reduced or even eliminated with the help of cannabis.  Arthritis is caused by a swelling in the joint whereas cannabis is known as an anti-swelling in the joint. A study shown from The School of Public Health, University of South Caroline showed that the THC and CBD which is a substance in cannabis are the ones help prevent and fight the pain and swelling. (This sentence may be clearer if reordered. eg. ...showed that substances in cannabis including THC and CBD aid in preventing and fighting pain and swelling.)
There are also several other/more diseases that cannabis can treat. In Australia there are several (there would be a more persuasive word for this to illustrate the magnitude of the problem) people suffering, as the traditional medications aren’t working. This is a similar situation as euthanasia, people are in debilitating situations, they are constantly suffering. But let’s put it this way. All of us 17-18 year old ( include teachers age lol ) you guys lived freely lives not suffering anything major from what I’ve known, we were able to eat by ourselves, do things ourselves and do what we as individuals like. But there are people out there who cannot do what WE do that is suffering from something we don’t suffer from and can only be helped (aided, assisted ect. ?) by a (completely?) natural plant whom which is illegal. (This section where you switch to directly addressing the audiences lives feels as though it could be editied.)

Legalising cannabis for medicinal purposes, means there is an extra product on the shelf (perhaps you could reword this). This will (This may/this could/this could lead to the creation of...) create ne w companies, the dude down the road can now grow medicinal cannabis legally and of course licenses and permits will be applied to be able to grow it and access it. But lets think about It economically. (Economically speaking,/thinking economically,) [/color]Legalising it These would not only create jobs and new firms but also set the ball rolling for economic activity in the pot (maybe refrain from calling it pot) industry in these areas. An RCG Economics and Cannabis Policy Group study on Nevada says that legalizing recreational cannabis in the state could support over 41,000 jobs till 2024 and generate over $1.7 billion in labour income. Now that is just in 1 state in America, could you imagine how much for the whole of Australia? (reword to make more persuasive and concise)

 New product means that can be taxed and goes will go towards the current account balance (is there a better word for this?) of Australia. Did you know that Australia is in debt?  On the page ‘The Guardian’ there was an article that said Legalising cannabis would reap the Australian economy almost $2bn a year, quoted by the Parliamentary Budget Office. (reword this to maker it more concise and persuasive) 2 billion??? Do you know with that amount of money, you can pretty much do anything? Reduce the Australian debt, invest in infrastructure, create more schools, create more roads, more hospitals. This will greatly boost Australia (boost what? Australia's economy? Australia's influence?) so much. With that money coming in just from cannabis, the government could [s]create[/s] make a warm (?) decision and reduce income tax, right? Legalising cannabis will help Australia a lot (greatly benefit Australia/greatly benefit our nation), isn’t it obvious?

Cannabis is often seen as a big, bad scary drug because it’s illegal and because people have been brought up to think that being illegal automatically implies danger. (make this clearer and more concise) The truth is that cannabis can often prove less dangerous, have less negative side effects and are be MORE effective medically than the a perfectly legal prescription (and or even a non-prescription drug. Former US Surgeon General, Jocelyn Elders stated that ‘cannabis is less toxic than many of the drugs that physicians prescribe everyday’. (further analysis)
Like (For instance/Namely), Xanax is used to treat anxiety and is still legal when, we have strains like MK Ultra or AC/DC and Jet Fuel, that are high in CBD and can reduce anxiety. (didn't really understand this wording) They do have the same effect, but Xanax has a higher risk of overdose (refer to rappers and how no overdose for rappers no everyone cannabis)
But The fact that no one has EVER died from a cannabis overdose really shows (illustrates/highlights) how dangerous the plant is right? But the harm that cannabis does to you if no more than a cough in the throat (if you’re smoking it) Critics claim cannabis causes schizophrenia. Schizophrenia occurs naturally in 1 percent of the global population if cannabis did cause it, then the data would show a rise in schizophrenia cases in American states that legalize cannabis, but the data doesn’t exist. (clarify this phrase, just because data does not exist, does not mean that there is no correlation. perhaps say 'the data proves no correlation') People claim cannabis causes so many mental problems (a large number of psychiatric issues) but in all honestly realistically, it’s not more dangerous than any prescriptive drug if use medicinally.
Cannabis is not the horror drug many people make it out to be. When used in the right way it can be extremely beneficial to those with a serious illness or disease. It has the ability to treat so many illnesses with, so few side effects compared to traditional medications, both prescription and over the counter and it is proven to be SAFE. If it is legalised it has the potential to earn the Australian government over million or even BILLIONS in taxes per year. If cannabis were legalised strictly for medicinal purposes, it would only be going to those who need it. Those who have severely debilitating or terminal illnesses. No one should have the ability to deny someone of lifesaving medication, yet it’s happening every day in Australia. If your child was suffering, would you risk jail to treat your child? That’s a choice that parents and carers are faced with in Australia. And it shouldn’t even be a question.

Very powerful ending! Perhaps the point about parents and carers should be brought up in your speech. Your second sentence addressing potential criticisms could also be expanded on later on.

You might find this an interesting read.

Hope this helps!