Hi.
Thank you so much feedback. The feedback means a lot to me. I just need help with two parts:
In my first body paragraph, enjambment is used for the whole stanza which I do mention. Do I have to make it clear that this technique is also for that quote.
Also, for my last body paragraph, you said that it is similar to the previous one. How can I differentiate both of them. My teacher told us to choose two main ideas and for each main idea to choose two poems and talk about how each of the poem explores the main idea.
Thank you so much once again, and I am sorry to disturb you
Hey, ushna!
No worries about disturbing anything
So firstly, for the enjambment technique, do make it clear that the technique is also for that quote. This could be brought up earlier to save you having to repeat the quote again like this;
"...“I crawled there once and sat/ in his shade he did not know me/ yet gave me leaves,” which provides an insight into intense relationships and personality of Aboriginal people. The first person and nostalgic connotation of “once” provokes an emotional response in audiences, allowing them to sympathise with the persona and the Aboriginal people.
This is combined with enjambment to convey to the readers that this attachment of Indigenous people would not be impacted by the attempts colonisation to separate it. This is important because it and shows to the audience how the assimilation affected Aboriginal people impacted on their identities..."
As for the last body paragraph, a way you could differentiate between the two is to keep the first more Stolen Generations focused (looking at the past) and the latter a more contemporary-based argument (looking at the present and speculating into the future through the impact it has on readers). You could differentiate this firstly with your thesis statements like this;
"On the other hand, through language, texts can shape and renew our perceptions of ourselves and others, thus inviting us to reconsider dominant paradigms
that existed in the past."
"Similarly, language has the power to both reflect and shape individual and collective identity, and can play a significant role in shifting attitudes and beliefs
in contemporary society." This way, you still explore the same idea but it has a different lens to build more complexity in your essay
Hope that clarifies any concerns!
Angelina